The Reality They Live With
by Kate2008
Summary: Blair Waldorf died 2 years ago right? That's what the world thinks. Then C sees a mysterious lookalike and can't stop thinking its her. On the other hand, Anna has exactly 2 yrs of memory & she's finally arrived at the place that's been calling to her NYC
1. Hello New York, Goodbye Blair Waldorf

**A/N: I know, I know, you guys must absolutely hate me for starting another fanfic when I already have three in the works but I simply couldn't resist when this idea hit me. So here goes nothing for my first exploration into the AU world. I figure it's about time I stopped relying so heavily on what the show has given us to work with. To alleviate some confusion I will tell you that this occurs AFTER the Season 2 finale. So Chuck and Blair had already said their 'I love yous.' I know it starts out a little odd at first and there are a lot of new characters but I assure you that eventually things will begin to make since**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

* * *

Annabelle Carmichael-Getty smiled as she looked around her. Her warm brown eyes glowed with wonder at her surroundings. The lights of the New York skyline illuminated her face. Anna had dreamed of this moment for so long that she could hardly believe that she was finally really here. Of course she loved Texas with all her heart, what true Texan didn't? And Houston was the only home she had ever known; but over the past year or so she had been drawn to this place. So drawn that she had worked her ass off for the past two years to get into Columbia University. No matter how hard she had busted ass, she knew that it had been her essay titled, "Doesn't Everyone Want A Chance to Start Over?" that had pushed her over the edge. After all, she had no official social security number, no birth certificate, no clue how old she actually was, no name at all really.

She remembered the introduction of the essay as if she had just written it. "Starting over, that's what everyone wants right? The proverbial clean slate, a do-over, a second chance to get things right. If that is truly the case, then you are reading something written by the luckiest person alive; however, I would argue that clean slates are not quite what everyone imagines them to be." From there she had gone on to tell the story of her life, all two years of it.

A mistake, that was the first thing she heard when waking up in the overly sterile hospital room in Galveston, Texas. The walls were so white that for a moment she thought she was in a mental institution. She remembered feeling totally normal, except for a pounding headache. She heard the voice again proclaiming that she was some sort of mistake. She had noted a southern accent, possibly even detected that it was a Texan in origin. Slowly she had pushed herself to a sitting position, finally drawing the attention of all of the people in the room. A doctor, a nurse, and two distraught looking adults. The adults were dressed to the nines, clearly in possession of some serious money; but they looked as though someone had just told them their dog had died . . . or perhaps their daughter, she remembered thinking at the time.

Anna could remember the doctor's voice as he immediately began drilling her with questions. It had been so in control, so authoritative, but there had been a sense of warmth in it as well. A warmth that was matched in his eyes. She had answered every question without hesitation, months, years, who the President of the United States was, several states and capitals. She had done math that made her eyes roll because it was so easy. Then he had asked the most important question of all, a question that was definitely a deal breaker in the 'is she okay' category. It was a question so simple that any normal, sane person could have answered it; but not her because the doctor had asked her for her name.

She could do things, walk, talk, read, do advanced math. Later she had learned that she could also speak fluent French. Skills resurfaced as she had need for them. She did things without thinking, without knowing where she had learned them and that had all seemed perfectly normal until they had asked her for her name. That's when she went back through all of her thoughts, only to realize that not only did she not know her name, she didn't know when or where she was born. There was not one single memory inside her head, no face that she could identify and say that's my parents or that's my best friend. Nothing was there. As though someone had taken an eraser and wiped it away.

As it turns out, Anna (or for the moment Jane Doe) was one of the survivors of a giant storm. All of the cruise ships, yachts, military vessels, and airplanes in the gulf had gone down. She had been found in the water by a rescue ship, near the location that one of the ships from the Celebrity Cruise Line had been thought to have sunk. She along with one other casualty of the disaster that turned up in the Galveston Hospital, matched the description of a girl named Melanie Carmichael-Getty from Houston, Texas that had been a passagenger on the cruise ship. They both had the same brown eyes, the same chocolate colored hair, and were around the same age and height. Unfortunately, the other girl had not survived her injuries. It had been her parents in the hospital room. These were the same parents that upon loosing their only child had done what they asserted was the Christian thing to do and offered her a place in their household. They had loved her like a daughter and never once had they tried to use her as a replacement for their own daughter. And she loved them. They were the only parents that she had ever known and she had even asked them to name her. As it turned out, her first instinct had been right and the Carmichael-Getty's had plenty of money. Their name, a fusion of two of the oldest wealthiest names in the south.

She had started school at an upper crust public school in Houston as a junior the following fall because they didn't know her age and that would have been where Melanie had started. As it turned out, Anna attracted people, with a certain air of leadership about her; it wasn't long before she had secured a spot in the inner circle of the school, been elected to Student Council, chosen as President of her class, and joined the Cheerleading squad with the rest of her friends. Within months she was dating the quarterback of the football team, throwing the best parties, and overall enjoying life. Her senior year had been the fairy tale that every teen movie had always made it out to be. She had been chosen unanimously as the captain of the cheerleading squad, was voted Homecoming Queen, elected President of the Student Body, Co-President of the school's Philanthropic Society and still a part of the Student Council. She captained the Debate Team to a state victory and in all likelihood would have won Prom Queen as well if she hadn't declined the nomination.

But something had been missing. That's why she had joined so many clubs and worked so hard. She loved her family, friends, and boyfriend but there was a part of her that knew that there was more. There was a part of her that longed for whoever it was that she use to be. For the first time in the past two years, Annabelle knew that she was on the right track. The thought sent shivers down her spine even though it was the middle of Indian summer in New York City. She remembered the closing line of her essay. "I don't know what my life would have been like but one day I do hope to find out. For now however, this is the reality that I live with." It's not that she wasn't grateful; she was more thankful for the life she did have than anyone could believe, 16 or so years of her life was gone.

Suddenly, as though in her subconscious she thought she heard someone shout at her. "B?" The shout was almost a question. She flipped her head around, confused. The only person who ever called her B was her boyfriend Jackson and by now he was in Florida at football camp and besides it wasn't his voice. This voice did cause a certain reaction within her though, almost as if a switch was flipped. Then she thought she heard the mysterious voice yell out 'Blair' or maybe it was Claire, she couldn't be sure. That was odd, she thought to herself, almost a year after the accident someone had run up to her in the Dallas Fort-Worth airport and hugged her, calling her what she thought was the name Claire but she couldn't really discern from the heavy French accent. The girl had exclaimed something about it having been too long since they had seen each other but as soon as Anna had spoken to ask the girl if they knew each other. The girl had shaken her head in astonishment and said. "My mishtake, zsu zar not Laire zaldorv." Anna had been caught off guard, but it hadn't stopped her from using the internet to look up girls named Claire that had gone missing in the past year the moment that she had returned home. A search that had of course come up empty, just like it always did. After a moment, she absentmindedly reached up to flip her hair over her shoulder. The action caused her to blush when she realized that her hair no longer reached that far. Post graduation she had chopped it off and it now fell straight about an inch off her shoulders.

"Annie, where're ya goin'?" She heard from what seemed like faraway. It was then that she realized that she had been wandering down the street without thinking about it. She turned around to see her best friend waving at her from almost a block back the other direction. Samantha Jamison's fiery red hair, a perfect match her impetuous and devilish personality, was being blown about by the warm summer wind as she collected some of the suitcases from the driver of the Hotel Cab that had picked them up at the airport. Anna smiled as she headed back towards the cab and her friends as they stepped from the cab. After Samantha came Carolina Caruthers, or Lina, as she preferred to be called. Lina was as classy as they came, a true Southern Belle through and through. Her family had moved to Houston from Atlanta when she was twelve and her cornflower blue eyes with her white-blonde hair had immediately set her apart from all of the other Texans. She was demure where Sam was crazy and she had the innocent naivety and curves that drove every guy mad. Finally, out stepped Cassandra Ramirez, the last of the Fabulous Four. She was the only Hispanic of their group even thought they were from one of the state's with the heaviest Hispanic population. To say that Cassie was beautiful would be a gross understatement. The girl was model level gorgeous with her ebony hair and chestnut skin and she had a peaceful calm about her; almost an exact balance to Sam's constant energy. Cassie always thought before she spoke, so when she did, people listened.

Just as quickly as her happy bubble had formed at seeing her best friends, it burst with the next person who stepped out of the cab. Diego Gutierrez walked forward with a cocky smile on his face. She had no idea how he had gotten into Columbia. How could they let gang members into an Ivy League School? He walked forward and wrapped an arm around her waist before planting a kiss on her cheek. "Hey CG, thanks for waiting on me."

"Bite me Gutierrez," She said pushing his arm off her shoulder. "And I told you to stop calling me that_._" She knew that Diego had had a thing for her since the day she walked into their high school. She didn't know why she had managed to attract the attention of a well known, member of the only wealthy gang she had ever heard of that wasn't THE Mob or THE Mafia. She didn't know how they had gotten their money either and she didn't want to. However, she couldn't deny that Diego was handsome. More was expected from her than that. In high school, she was the head cheerleader so of course she dated the quarterback but now he was at the University of Florida playing football and she wasn't sure where that left them. Maybe somethings were simply supposed to end with high school.

"Gladly." Diego said glaring suggestively at her before continuing inside the hotel, calling back "Oh Ana, I'll win your affection eventually." He said it almost jokingly, but somewhere deep inside of him he wanted that girl more than he could stand it. Certainly, more than he should. He didn't have a right to want Bella that way and he knew it. She was a whole different class of human than him. He wasn't even sure of when he had started thinking of her as Bella in his head; it just seemed to fit her so perfectly that now he couldn't stop. There was something about that girl. He knew all about her mysterious past, everyone did, but something else was there as though she was a part of him. Something in him recognized something in her and he vowed that one day he would have her.

The other three girls all hugged her tightly. "It's going to fine, don't pay him any attention Belle." Lina said sweetly.

"Yeah, if he messes with you, you know I'll kick his ass." Sam added, jokingly. She knew full well that if Diego wanted to hurt her he could but he had always left the girls alone so that hadn't been a problem. Diego knew better than to cause trouble at the school he attended in Texas. Any real gang violence and he would have been kicked out, ruining his chances of ever escaping Houston and making it back to New York City.

Anna smiled. "Thanks guys." She loved the fact that she could hear a slight southern accent in her voice now. It had taken it's time developing but sure enough, it was there. She hugged her friends tightly once more. This was sad. It was their last week all together. Cassie was headed to Columbia with her and everyone had come up to stay with them in a hotel for one last week of shenanigans for the Fab Four before they parted ways. Lina was headed off to Yale and Sam to Dartmouth. Both had promised to visit New York often and Cassie and Anna had done the same but they all knew that this was their last big hurrah before everything really changed.

As Lina and Sam grabbed their bags and headed in, Cassie grabbed Anna's hand and squeezed it. They exchanged a secret smile and Cassie whispered. "You made it."

Anna whispered back excitedly, knowing that the other girls just wouldn't understand. "I know so did you."

Cassie smiled brighter. "I promise you Annabelle, if there is something here, a clue anything, we'll find it . . . we're going to figure out who you are."

Anna's eyes sparkled in return. "And I promise you, that I'm going to help you find what you're looking for. If he's here, we'll find him." With that they unclasped hands and walked into the majestic Palace Hotel, their home for the next week.

* * *

Chuck slumped against the back of his leather limo seats, leaning his head against the window. He was tired. He had been at the office all day and less than ten minutes after he had finally gotten through traffic and arrived back at the Palace, he had to leave to take care of some emergency at Victorla where a girl was refusing to perform and threatening to walk out. And he had to do all this before going to his night-class at NYU. He hated his life. The moment the thought entered his brain, he had the same realization that he did every other time he had had that particular thought. He wished he had died instead of her. He couldn't do this, not without her. She was the one who had believed in him, the one who had convinced him that he had it in himself to succeed; to be CEO of Bass Enterprises. After he had lost her he had done everything he could to find her and in the meanwhile he had tried to be the guy she had always seen in him. He thought that if he was that guy, if he was good enough for her, he would find her. It had been only a few months ago that she had been pronounced dead. The search had been called off and her name along with thousands of others was added to the memorial in Corpus Christi, Texas. He blamed himself for her death. He had been so determined to take her on a trip on the Bass plane. They had finally decided on Costa Rica. As they were flying over the Gulf of Mexico, the freak storm had hit and their plane had crashed. He had searched the water for her, screaming her name until he was out of energy and passed out on floating debris. They said he had been rescued somewhere near New Orleans. He had done everything possible to find her in the wake of the disaster, but too many were killed and they had no way of tracking anyone. A part of Chuck, the better part, had died the day that they pronounced her dead.

As his limo pulled away from the curb, he saw a flash of chocolate brown hair on the sidewalk. They were stopped at a red light so he rolled down his window and screamed out the window. "B!" He saw the girl turn and something in him sparked as her confused face searched for the voice. It was her, it was really her. He shouted her name this time, determined to get her attention. His heart was leaping and he felt alive for the first time in almost two years. This time the girl's eyebrows furrowed in confusion before she turned back and spotted a wild looking red head waving to her from in front of the Palace. Chuck continued shouting as the limo started driving once more, but the girl didn't turn again. Instead she walked towards a group of young girls in front of the hotel. All the hope inside him collapsed. It had happened before of course, a girl looked so much like her that he had called her name, but always there was the disappointment that followed. This time had felt different though; this time he felt a connection with the girl. Just as soon as he had the thought he pushed it from his mind. This was ridiculous, Serena and Nate were right, he needed to quit hoping that she was going to miraculously return to New York city, she wasn't coming back. Blair Waldorf was dead and had been for a long time.

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**A/N: Tada, I hope you all enjoyed this. I shouldn't have written it, I already have too much on my plate and I know that but I couldn't seem to study Ethics until I got this out on paper. Of course I would greatly appreciate your opinion on whether or not I should keep this story next chapter will have a much heavier focus on our usual characters but these newbies are going to be around; with the exception of the mentioned Jackson, I just don't see him fitting into the storyline.  
**

**Reviews are always appreciated :)**

**xoxo  
kate **


	2. I Saw Her Today

**A/N: Yay I've finally finished the next chapter. I say all the time that I like writing angsty stuff better than fluff but this one took a lot out of me to do than it usually does. I've had the Chuck stuff written since my first update but it can be painful inside Chuck's head which is exactly where I had to go to write this part. So it was difficult to get back inside the heads of less crazy people to finish it up. If any of you have read my fanfic Earning Back What's Been Lost, you'll probably recognize part of the scene from Victrola because I didn't feel like completely rewriting it. And yes as someone pointed out in a review, Chuck does avoid using Blair's name, that is something he is intentionally doing and since he is consciously having to think about it he tends to emphasize the words **_**her**_** and **_**she**_** when he is talking about Blair. And in this chapter, Chuck is simply remembering Blair, since we are already aware of the fact that she is Anna, we know that he isn't really seeing her he just can't stop imagining that he is back to a time when she was there after seeing Anna earlier that day. I used the song Addicted by Kelly Clarkson and I definitely suggest listening to it while you read because the mood of the song is much like the mood of Chuck.  
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**IMPORTANT****: It's been called to my attention that my story shares some similarities with one called Perdition by Norriegne. I hadn't read her fanfic but I have now and I can assure any readers that other than the basic guise of memory loss nothing is the same. I've talked to Norriegne about this though just to make sure that there isn't any misunderstanding and as I said I read her fanfic (something all of you should do because it's awesome). So I guess that's all I have to say about that. Thanks again to Maddy for the tip off. **

**IMPORTANT AS WELL: If a whole phrase is in italics it is simply being heard in a character's head as though it was spoken. In other words Chuck is saying most of the things in quotes aloud.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

**As for my anon reviewers, since I can't send you a personal note, I would just like to say that I'm very glad you are enjoying it and thanks for reviewing, it means a lot to us writers:**

**Jessikaaa - Don't be surprised if things head in that direction, if not exactly like that :)  
Lai - Don't worry, I will.  
Aokrke - Thanks, that is definitely what I was going for with this one. I really wanted for this fanfic to be really different. **

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Chuck walked into Victrola and immediately reached for a bottle of scotch, pouring himself a glass. He took a hard gulp, relishing in the way it burned his throat. He had a feeling that he was going to be needing a lot more scotch before this night was over. Victrola always brought back so many memories all on its own. _She_ was the first one to know that he wanted to buy the place, _she_ danced on _that_ stage, it was after the night at Victrola that _they_ slept together, not to mention that this is where_ she_ saved his life. He hated coming to Victrola now. Nate had suggested that he sell it, but Chuck had invested in a whole chain just before the accident, placing Victrolas in big cities all around the world; it was one of Bass Industries most profitable ventures. So he couldn't sell it and he couldn't delegate something so important to the company. So he still had to manage Victrola himself. Every day that he had to stop by was difficult; that he had had another one of his sightings today, made the whole experience that much worse.

_**It's like you're a drug  
It's like you're a demon I can't face down **_

He realized that he had already finished his glass of scotch before he made it a foot away from the bar. As he refilled his glasses he had to remind himself not to get too drunk since he still had to go to class tonight. He decided that one more glass wouldn't hurt and made his way towards the stage. "So what's the problem?" He asked the manager, who was sitting in the booth that _they_ used to always sit in; Chuck had always thought of it as _their_ booth.

"Good, you're here." The man grunted. "Sit down. The problem should be out in a minute."

_**It's like I'm stuck  
It's like I'm running from you all the time **_

Chuck wasn't a huge fan of his manager but he wasn't about to fire him. After all the man did what he was paid to do and he had kept his mouth shut about several of Chuck's drunken episodes at Victrola in the past two years. He didn't want to sit, not there, but after a moment he tired of standing up and complied, taking a seat on the plush velvet couch for the first time since the night after he got back to New York, the night after he lost_ her_. As he sat he could almost hear _her_ laugh in his head. The sweet sound of it, almost like wind chimes, echoing throughout the empty club. "_I'm just saying I have moves."_

_**And I know I let you have all the power  
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around **_

Her voice in his head caused him to jerk. He looked sharply to his right almost expecting to see_ her_ sitting there instead of the slightly greasy manager. Of course_ she_ wasn't there, _she_ was dead. He would not remember any more about that evening, he refused to do it; refused to let his mind go back to that night. He saw his manger open his mouth to talk but instead of hearing the man's gruff voice he heard _her's_, low for a girls yet seemingly dripping with honey. _"I know what you're doing Bass." _ Chuck closed his eyes and opened them; he shook his head slightly, trying to get _her_ out of his head, so that he could understand what the man in front of him was saying. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" Chuck asked, focusing on the man's mouth this time.

_**It's like you're a leech  
Sucking the life from me **_

The gruff man looked at Chuck funny but he was used to the young CEO's crazy antics. It was safe to say that he had seen the kid at some of his worst. Hell if he hadn't called Serena Van der Woodsen a few days after the kid's girlfriend died, the boy probably wouldn't be sitting in front of him right now. So he repeated his words. "I said . . ."

_**It's like I can't breathe  
Without you inside of me **_

Chuck relaxed he heard the first two words, all in his club manager's voice, but then _her's_ replaced his once more. _"You really don't think I'd go up there." _ This time, the sound sent chills up his spine. His manager's mouth was moving, but it was _her_ words, _her_ voice coming out. He couldn't focus, couldn't concentrate, his heart beat was speeding up, his blood racing through his veins, and his head began to throb. He opened his mouth to say something. "I know you won't do it." And didn't realize what he had said until he saw the look on his manager's face. _Shit._

Jim, had been managing the Victrola since before Chuck Bass bought it, yet this was by far the strangest encounter that he had had with the kid. It was like he was somewhere else, "I won't do what, Chuck?"

_**And I know I let you have all the power  
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time **_

Chuck was trying desperately to focus on the here and now, focus on where he was. He knew that Jim had to be close to having him committed. But as he tried to focus on the man's lips, he still heard_ her_. _"Guard my drink." _ No this wasn't happening, he wasn't doing this. "Damn it!" He shouted, grabbing his head and pressing his thumbs to his eyeballs. It was as though_ she_ had flashed in front of him, rushing up to the stage. Everything was the same, the club's lighting, the music blasting from the speakers. It was like he was there for that moment he flashed. He had to get himself under control. He took a few deep breaths and tried to center himself before he spoke again. "I'm sorry; do you think you can perhaps write down what you're trying to say?" Chuck asked.

_**It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you **_

He felt like he might finally have a hold of himself so as his manager hesitantly handed him a piece of paper, he opened his eyes. Seeing that Jim had been trying to tell him that the girl was shy and had a bad case of stage fright. It would be her first dance as the principle girl and he normally would just cut the girl but her sister was one of their best girls. Chuck looked up at the man and nodded. "I'll take care of it."

As soon as he said it the girl walked out and Chuck flashed out again to when _she_ walked on the stage; brown curls bouncing and smirk wide on her features. He pulled himself back to the present and focused on the girl in front of him. She was young and looked similar to _her_ in the sense that she had the same ruby lips and the same chocolate curls but past that the resemblance was minimal. He could do this, he could do his job. "What's your name?" Chuck asked the girl as he stood and walked towards the stage.

_**It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me  
In my thoughts, in my dreams  
You've taken over me **_

"Megan." She said softly as she stood in front of the man she knew to be one of the most powerful in the city. She blushed at the appreciative gaze he gave her. The man was even more gorgeous in person than on the cover of all the magazines and newspapers.

Chuck seemed to be doing relatively well maintaining his hold on reality as he spoke to the girl. "You're a beautiful girl Megan. I'm not sure I understand the problem." Chuck said as the he watched the innocent young thing bat her lashes at him.

"I'm just a little shy of undressing in front of so many people." She finally said, bashfully. He was so handsome and when he called her beautiful she could feel the heat rush to her cheeks and couldn't resist a little bit of innocent flirting.

"Well do you think that you could undress in front of me?" Chuck asked in a seductive voice. Thinking that after he got her to dance for him, he could convince her to just imagine he was here every night. It was a tactic he felt was sure to work.

_**It's like I'm not me  
It's like I'm not me **_

The girl nodded so Chuck turned to Jim and motioned him to cue the music as he backed away from the stage. As soon as the sound reached his ears he was flashing again. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes on Megan who was standing right in front of him, as _she_ kept appearing instead. The song, it was the one _she_ had danced to, he recognized it instantly. He wanted to tell Jim to change it to something else, but it was too late, he couldn't speak, couldn't think, Chuck Bass wasn't in this reality anymore, he was at Victrola almost three years ago, at a time when_ she_ existed.

_**It's like I'm lost  
It's like I'm giving up slowly **_

_As the music began, she began to move. His eyes were glued to her body as she swung her hips. He couldn't take his eyes off of her as her delicate hand removed the headband. Chuck sat up as he saw her touch her zipper. In the memory he had been sure she wouldn't undress up there on stage in front of all these people, but she had. This time Chuck just stared appreciatively. She slid the small piece of metal all the way down the pale green dress. He was in awe as he watched her dress fall to the ground. This wasn't the girl that he had known for the past couple of years; this girl was carefree and sexy as hell, not that she wasn't always sexy, just never in this way. _

_**It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me  
Leave me alone **_

_He stood there as she continued dancing. Her hips undulating from side to side, her fingers traced along her tights, up the seam until they reached a place Chuck had only previously dreamed of going. Chuck couldn't keep his eyes off of her as she danced on the stage and he couldn't deny the strain that was beginning in his pants. _

_When he told the drag queen that he didn't know the girl on stage, he wasn't lying. That certainly wasn't the girl he knew. He took a sip of champagne before toasting her. He had always respected her, something that he felt for few other women, but now, now he was in awe of her. _

_She shook out her chocolate curls, sending them flipping about as she continued moving her body to the music. Chuck looked over her memorizing every part of his ideal woman, waiting for her to finish her dance so that he could do what he had only dreamed about since the accident. She ran off the stage right after the song finished and straight to where he was standing. Chuck immediately pulled her too him, in a passionate kiss still holding his champagne glass in the other hand._

_**And I know these voices in my head are mine alone**_

Suddenly Chuck realized that he wasn't kissing_ her_, he was kissing Megan. He wasn't holding a glass of champagne; he was clutching a glass of scotch, knuckles white. He quickly pushed her away as the scotch glass shattered in his hands. Chuck looked to the girl whose eyes were now wide. "That was hot, just do that and imagine I'm the one watching." Chuck said before turning and walking out of the room. As he walked from the room his mind flashed back and forth, flickering between the reality he lived with and the one that he wished still existed, "_You ready to go home?"_ Damn it, he needed to get out of here. _"Let me finish my glass of champagne then I'm ready" _He quickened his pace, hoping that once he was out of here, the flashes would stop. "_Okay, I'm good." _He could almost see her there smiling at him; bubbling from the champagne and high off the excitement and he couldn't not smile. _"May I escort you to the limo?"_ NO, NO, NO, this wasn't happening, he kept trying to remind himself, even as his vision flashed between the dark closed Victorla that he was walking out of and the bright festive Victrola from opening night. _"Certainly." Her _voice was in his head, clear as day as he finally squeezed his eyes shut and ran for the limo.

_**And I know I'll never change my ways  
If I don't give you up now **_

As he sat down in the backseat of the limousine, he breathed a sigh of relief. "To Greenwich Village." He called to the cab driver. Finally he seemed to be controlling his thoughts and feelings, thought Chuck as the limo speed down the strangely empty city streets. He looked out the window as they passed the Palace; unconsciously hoping for another peek at the look-a-like. When he didn't see her he turned back and almost jumped out of his skin as the flashing started again. It was as though he was flickering between reality and the past.

_She_ was looking at him in the flickers. _"Thanks for the lift home."  
_

_**It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you **_

No this wasn't happening, thought Chuck as he began to breathe hard again. He turned his head away to look out the window as they passed 42nd Street. As long as he kept looking out the window, he couldn't flashback, he couldn't she_ her _because he had no memories of her outside the window. But the second he thought that, another thought entered his tortured mind. Why was he complaining, he was relieving one of the greatest moments of his life. It was like a drug and he desperately wanted another hit. So he turned his head and the flash happened.

_**It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me  
In my thoughts, in my dreams  
You've taken over me **_

_He was staring at her watching as she looked up into his eyes and moved her body closer to his, until her shoulder was touching his own. She began leaning in and reached for his hand. Her eyes were telling him what she wanted and as she leaned towards him, he met her. Their lips touched, searing his flesh, and they kissed but as she began turning her body towards him he immediately pulled away. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted any woman; he wanted her in a way that he had never wanted any woman. So he asked a question he had never asked anyone before. "You sure?"_

_**It's like I'm not me  
It's like I'm not me **_

"Sir, did you say something?" Chuck snapped out of the memory once more as his driver called back to him. He hadn't realized that once again he had spoken aloud. "No, everything's fine." He called out and made the choice to take another hit, turning back and staring at the space next to him until he flashed.

_**I'm hooked on you  
I need a fix  
I can't take it  
**_

_When she kissed him, it felt like one thousand explosions occurred inside his body. She wrapped her arm around his neck and moved on top of him. Her other hand coming up towards his face. Chuck began to deepen their kiss, tasting her, remembering her, reaching up and grabbing her hand. Chuck ran his hands over her body as her hands ran through his hair. God she felt good he thought as he pulled her into him; pressing his body tightly against hers.**  
**_

_**Just one more hit **__**  
I promise I can deal with it  
I'll handle it, quit it**_

_He flipped her over as he continued exploring her mouth with his tongue and her body with his hands. He had wanted this for so long and he was going to make it incredible for her. Even in the memory Chuck realized that he was becoming more and more the Chuck in the memory and less and less the Chuck in reality. He brought down the straps of her slip, further exposing her shoulders and neck, his weakness. Chuck was careful with her in a way he had never been careful before. Constantly checking to make sure that she was okay. He was attentive in the extreme and by the time they had finished they were both exhausted. As they finished Chuck did something he had never really done before and held her. He stroked her hair and kissed her temple as she fell asleep in his arms._

_**Just one more time, then that's it  
Just a little bit more to get me through this **_

Suddenly the flash was gone, he was back in his own dark limo and he could still hear her purring in his ear, screaming his name. It was as though something inside him finally clicked. There was something so very wrong about what he had just experienced, by the end of the flashback he wasn't even the real Chuck Bass anymore, he had become the embodiment of the Chuck Bass that night three years ago. If that wasn't the foreshadowing of a complete mental break down, he didn't know what was. He was literally going insane and he needed help. "Turn around." He called out to his driver. "Head to Dr. Michov's office." As he instructed his driver, he pulled out his own phone and dialed. "Yes, tell Dr. Michov that it is imperative that Chuck Bass sees her immediately."

_**It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you **_

A curious thought came to his head. He wondered if he had been flailing about in the back of the limo during the flash. Earlier he had spoken aloud so it would only follow that he had also been acting as such. It was something he would have to consider before he flashed again. _Shit_ he was already thinking about doing it again. He might need more assistance than he had previously though.

_**It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me  
In my thoughts, in my dreams  
You've taken over me **_

Chuck's head crashed against the headrest. This was a whole new level of bad and if he didn't do something soon he knew all too well that he would start flashing on purpose, start doing things to make himself flash and that would be bad, that would be very very bad. So in the case that the doctor didn't do the trick he placed another call. "Eric, I'm on my way to Dr. Michov's. Do you think that you could meet me there?"

_**It's like I'm not me  
It's like I'm not me**_

* * *

Chuck inhaled deeply as he walked into Dr. Michov's office. He kept telling himself that he had to do this; it was the one and only way that he would get better. If he didn't he would try _it_ again. Flashing was bad enough, a mental breakdown of that sort was bad enough, but if he did _it_ again he might not fail.

"Well Chuck, it's been a while since I've seen the likes of you in my office." Dr. Michov said disapproval evident in her features.

Chuck grimaced, he didn't like being here; but spoke because that's what he was here to do. "I thought I was okay again. I thought I had moved passed it; but I'm not."

The doctor rolled her eyes. "Chuck I'm not just going to prescribe you more antidepressants so that you can get high." After all that was basically what the young man had wanted the last time he had shown up here without an appointment; not that she realized that was his goal until after he had already succeeded.

"That isn't why I'm here." Chuck said closing his eyes as though he was in pain. "I need help or _it_'s going to happen again and I promised so, many, people that it would never happen again. I'll lose the company if it does."

Dr. Michov's eyebrows shot into her hairline. It was rare for Chuck Bass to show up here without a court order, almost rarer than him asking for help. "So can you tell me what triggered it?" She asked, relaxing into her role as psychiatrist.

Chuck took a seat on the lounge and laid back, as was customary for the psychiatrist's office. Chuck grit his teeth together knowing that what he was about to say wouldn't suffice. "I saw_ her_ today."

Shaking her head slightly Dr. Michov spoke calmly and assuredly. "I don't believe I understand you Chuck; who is it that you saw today?" He had to say her name; that was one of the rules and it was also one of his biggest problems. When Chuck simply referred to Blair as she or her, he resisted thinking about it and without thought and contemplation he wasn't going to heal.

Chuck took a deep breath and said the word as he exhaled. "Blair. I saw Blair today." That was hard for him, so hard that he almost couldn't say it. He was actually surprised that he was able to on the first try. Her name was something that he worked hard not to even think.

Dr. Michov smiled slightly, even though she probably shouldn't have. For once Chuck was actually trying in one of their sessions. "Can you tell me the nature of this encounter Chuck? By that I mean, did you see Blair in a dream, did you have a flashback, or was it a look-a-like again?"

"It started with a look-a-like. A look-a-like in front of _my_ hotel, who turned around when I yelled B, but looked confused when I yelled Blair the second time. This time, the girl's resemblance was uncanny. So much so that I had a physiological reaction to seeing her, one that I've never had with a doppelganger before." Chuck said. At first the words took a lot of effort but soon they were pouring out. And it wasn't like usual where it was the long chocolate curls or the ruby red lips or even the fashion sense that caught my eye. This time it was like an aura or something. Her hair was the same chocolate brown but with honey highlights. It was straight and only reached her shoulders. Her make up was understated, the lip a shinny pink type gloss. She was tan and her clothing wasn't typical Blair Waldorf fashion. It was still classic and preppy, but more of a Ralph Lauren or Donna Karen look than an Eleanor Waldorf original. But the face, the eyes, the body, those were all the same."

Dr. Michov's eyebrows rose slightly as she tried to withhold her surprise. It was rare for Chuck to see look-a-likes in the city. It usually happened when he was traveling and from the sounds of it, this particular clone was about as close as you could get. "I see." She said with a nod. "Go on."

Chuck then proceeded to spill out the rest of the afternoon's events. ". . . I knew that when I consciously chose to return to the flashback or memory or whatever it was that I needed help or _it_ would happen again."

She had sat there for the entirety of Chuck's monologue, keeping her expression as stoic as possible because she didn't want Chuck to be tipped off to the fact that she was worried. What she was going to do next was going to be asking something quite difficult again. "Chuck, I need you to tell me what the_ it_ you were referring to is."

Chuck's head immediately snapped to face the doctor. She couldn't really want him to say that; she had never made him say it before, it was simply understood between them. "You know what _it_ is Dr. Michov. After all _it_ is why I had to start seeing you in the first place." Maybe if he showed enough reluctance then she wouldn't press it.

Dr. Michov shook her head. As painful as she knew it was, it was time for Chuck to face what it was that he had done; what these memories of Blair driven him to do. "No, I'm afraid I don't. Could you tell me?"

"No." Chuck said shrugging almost indifferently. He knew all of her methods and he wasn't about to be bullied into saying what she wanted him to say.

"Chuck, I need you to tell me what _it _is. I need you to say it aloud. I need to know that you really do know the gravity of what happened." Dr. Michov spoke, her voice gaining in volume and assurance.

No, this wasn't fair. He didn't want to say it out loud, he wouldn't. He had done it in a moment of desperation and weakness. So Chuck just shook his head back and forth twice, clearly communicating the fact that he had no intention of giving in.

Chuck had been her patient for well over a year now and she had always known a particular button she could press to get him to comply, but she hadn't wanted to go there. In this case, it seemed as though she didn't have a choice. So she said in a voice full of authority. "Chuck, tell me what losing Blair did to you. Tell me what having to go everyday without her, knowing that she was never coming back made you do!"

"I tried to kill myself okay." Chuck shouted, surprising himself, but once he had started he couldn't stop. "You know, off myself, end it, commit suicide, however you want to fucking phrase it. I slit my wrists and when that didn't seem to work fast enough I took every single pill I had in my suite because I missed Blair too fucking much to go on. It was my fault she died. MINE." He said jabbing a finger at his chest before turning the finger towards her. "And you have no fucking idea what it's like to have to live with that every day of your life, knowing that the only person you have every loved is dead because you insisted on going on vacation to God Damn Costa Rica." Chuck finally ran out of air, angry tears flying from his eyes against his will. But he managed one last line. "So don't fucking act like you know how I feel or what it's like."

In the silence, Dr. Michov spoke tenderly. "Chuck, it's not your fault that Blair died."

Chuck's head snapped back towards her. "Yes it is." He said darkly. "She wanted to go to Dubai but I insisted that we go somewhere new somewhere different." Chuck said almost mockingly. "And I got her killed."

Dr. Michov's nurturing tone was back full force. "What happened to Blair was not your fault Chuck, thousands of people died that day, thousands because no one knew about the freak storm that was headed that way. Things like that happen sometimes. And if Blair loved you even a fraction of the amount that you love her; then she wouldn't want you to be throwing your life away on her memory. If it was the other way around, what would you say to her if she was the one doing this?"

Chuck gave a strange half laugh. "I would tell her to get the fuck over me because I wasn't worth it to begin with." He finished shooting the doctor a smirk. She shook her head and narrowed her eyes so he rephrased. "Okay fine, I would tell her to move on, to be happy. I would really want her to be happy."

Dr. Michov nodded. "I thought so. And I'm sure that she would say the same to you." Chuck nodded and she couldn't help but say the next words that came from her mouth. "I'm proud of you today Chuck. You recognized that you were in over your head and you called me. Once here you really opened up."

Chuck shrugged and looked away, clearly embarrassed. "Yeah. I should probably go."

"If you ever need me, you know the number." Dr. Michov said as she stood and opened the door. She really wanted the kid to get better. He had had a rough couple of years.

As Chuck exited, he didn't want to admit it but he had a feeling that he hadn't had for a long time. A feeling that perhaps everything would be okay. As he walked out onto the street, he looked around the Upper East Side and said quietly. "Goodbye Blair." Just as Eric Van der Woodsen walked up.

Upon hearing his brother's words, Eric didn't hesitate a moment before pulling Chuck into a hug.

* * *

Anna laughed loudly as the girls tumbled out of the elevator. She covered her mouth realizing that it was quite late and people in the hotel were likely sleeping. She and the girls couldn't resist going out on the town, their first night here. They probably should have invited Diego but truth be told; none of them had even seen them since they gave their bags to the bellhops to take upstairs. They had all had a little too much celebratory champagne and couldn't seem to quit being silly. "Which suites are we again?" She called over her shoulder.

Lina and Sam simply shrugged before dissolving once more in a fit of giggles. Luckily, Cassandra kept her head even when fairly intoxicated. She rolled her eyes at the display that Lina and Sam were putting on. She was always of the opinion that you should only drink as much as you could hold. She never allowed herself to have so much that she lost control over her actions. Anna was better than the other two; that was for sure. She knew her limits and for the most part drank only socially or with a meal. At least two of them generally acted with propriety. "You're 1814, I'm 1816 and our rooms can be connected. Sam is 1813 and Lina is 1815 and their rooms connect as well."

Anna couldn't help but smile; this was how this whole week would be; the Fab Four, being well . . . fabulous together nonstop. She turned the corner, nearing their rooms and stopped. It was a dead end. "Whoopsie daisy girls. We must have come the wrong direction off the elevator." The other girls nodded and turned around, Lina and Sam still giggling. She meant to follow them but something came over her, like a weird sense of déjà vu and she had the distinct need to move towards the suite door at the end of the hallway. She walked up to it and laid her fingers lightly on the numbers; 1812. She didn't know why this felt so familiar. It was as though she had been here in a dream. She had an incredible urge to knock on the door. She lifted her hand poised to knock.

"What are you doing Anna?" Lina asked giggling as she ran up and pulled on her arm. "Our rooms are the other way silly." She said as she rolled her eyes and tugged Anna away from the door, towards the other girls.

Anna didn't say a word. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was something familiar about that suite back there; 1812. Maybe it was just the number, she wasn't sure; after all it had been her favorite for as long as she could remember. One of the first stories she heard after she was taken in by the Carmichael-Getty's was that their ancestors played a huge role in the War of 1812. A while after that when someone asked her favorite number, the one that popped into her mind was 1812. She had always assumed it was because of the story. But now as she thought about it, the 1812 that she visualized in her head didn't look like a large script number from a history book; it looked like those shiny gold letters on that suite door.

**

* * *

A/N: I hope you enjoyed my trip into insanity. I know I said that there would be some Serena and Nate in this chapter but it got a little long so they will have to wait. The song is Addicted by Kelly Clarkson. **

**Reviews are very much appreciated. They help motivate me and keep me writing.**

**xoxo**

**kate**


	3. The Call of the City

**A/N: Hello my lovelies, I do hope you enjoy this update. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

**Shout out to all my reviewers: You guys are the reason I write. Those of you who are writers inspired me to write myself; however it's those of you who review so diligently that have kept me writing. Love you guys. **

**To the anons: Jessikaaa, Lai, zoelle, LC-LOVES-CB  
Just wanted to let you guys know that I appreciate your reviews as well since I can't reply to them :)**

* * *

Oh how things have changed, thought Chuck as he walked into Nate's penthouse apartment; his grandfather's doing of course. The place was every college boy's dream and even though Chuck could probably surpass it with effort, he had never tried. He still couldn't believe that he had called in sick to work today, upon Eric's urging of course. How did one even call in sick when they were CEO? Eric had basically done it for him, calling Chuck's personal secretary and telling her that he wasn't coming in today. Chuck simply shook his head at the thought before greeting the young man in front of him. "Nathanial" He said, nodding as he walked up and shook his old friend's hand. "It's been too long.

Nate looked at Chuck quizzically as he took his friend's hand; any separation between the two of them had been Chuck's doing. Nate had wanted to be there for him, so had Serena, it was after all a large part of the reason why she had switched colleges. As if on cue, Serena rushed in the room. Nate couldn't help but laugh at her haphazard appearance, it looked like she had rolled out of bed and threw on the nearest outfit before rushing out the door; which knowing Serena was likely the case.

Nate's laughter caused Chuck to turn and look at his sibling. "Nice of you to join us sister." Chuck said, a small smirk appearing on his features much to Serena's surprise.

She wasn't certain of what they were all doing here, Eric had sent the SOS last night to be here this morning so she had gotten up at the crack of dawn to leave Princeton, New Jersey, where she was doing summer school classes since she still wasn't caught up with the rest of her year. It still infuriated her that none of her credits from the semester she spent at Brown had transferred, regulating her to summer school until she graduated. "Sorry guys, turnpike traffic was hell this morning."

Chuck nodded. "Understandable." Then as a second thought he added. "Why did you transfer out of Brown anyway?" It was something that Chuck had always been curious about but never thought to ask.

Serena forced the bright sunny smile that she seemed to be known for to appear on her features. "I couldn't avoid the call of the city. It was too strong." She and Nate exchanged a secret glance. He was the only person who knew why she had transferred to Princeton and for the first time he had actually managed to keep something to himself, which she would be forever thankful for. Serena would never be ready for people to know why she had actually transferred. It would forever change their opinion of her as a person and she didn't think that she would be able to handle the looks that it would be certain to earn her. Suddenly as though she hadn't seen him in forever, Serena had the sudden urge to hug the two boys standing in front of her. So Serena acting on a whim as she normally did, rushed over and pulled them to her.

Eric walked in to see the three remaining members of the Non-Judging Breakfast Club locked in an embrace and smiled. They were family. Actually, the only person that he was close to that he couldn't find some way to call family was Nate but he was close enough. His siblings that could claim blood relation were limited to Serena and of course Scott, Chuck was the next closest thing seeing as how he was their adopted brother. Next on the list would have been Blair because blood or no, she was as much a sister to him as Serena. Then of course as of about a year ago there were his step siblings, Dan and Jenny. His forehead furrowed at that thought. He was of the opinion that the wedding had been too soon after Blair's death, mainly because it had happened about a week and a half after Chuck tried to kill himself. It was too much too quickly and the wedding had almost been a disaster as a result. The effects of which were still evident in his mom's and Rufus's marriage. "Hey guys." He finally called after some time of pondering the amass of thoughts in his head.

All three turned towards the most recent to enter the room; Nate and Serena both with smiles on their face and Chuck looking something other than miserable. It was Nate who finally spoke. "Well if it isn't our new Harvard man, so what's the SOS?"

Eric raised his eyebrows and looked at Chuck. "Wait, you haven't told them?"

Chuck shook his head as he looked at his younger brother. "I haven't gotten around to it yet."

Serena and Nate both looked to Chuck and Serena spoke surprised. "The SOS was about you?" When Chuck nodded she hit his shoulder. "You never let anyone send an SOS about you, what's the deal?"

Chuck looked back and forth between a girl who was technically his sister and his best friend. They were both people he hadn't seen nearly enough of in the past two years; but he hadn't realized that until now. A conversation with Nate that had happened close to a year after Blair's death came to mind

_"Chuck come out to dinner with me, Serena, and Eric." Nate said as he walked into Chuck's dark suite. He had moved out of the Van der Woodsen house and back to the Palace almost immediately after Blair died. _

_Chuck practically growled at the approaching figure. "I just want to be alone Nathaniel. What is it about that that you and my sister don't seem to understand?" He was tiring of the constant checking up on him. The past two days it had been incessant. "I don't want to make the front desk stop allowing you guys in the building but I will if your visits continue at their current rate."_

_Nate walked over and clasped Chuck's shoulders, looking his best friend in the eyes. This was worse than when his father had died, much much worse. "You don't leave this room, you don't call, you don't even text Chuck! We check because we care about you. Remember your list of the three things you care about?" Nate asked before switching to his best attempt at a Chuck imitation as possible. "'I care about three things Nathaniel. Money, the pleasures money brings me, and you.' Well I have my own list Chuck. Do you want to know what it is?" Chuck didn't answer so Nate continued anyway, speaking as he stared into Chuck's cold, lifeless eyes. "I care about more than three things. The things I care about most are Serena, you, Eric, my mom, and yes Blair. I still care about her regardless of the fact that she's dead." At the mention of her name, Chuck jerked away from Nate; but Nate kept talking. "We care about you, so we check on you to make sure you're still here, still alive."_

_Chuck glared at Nathaniel thinking that that was likely one of the longest trains of thought that his friend had ever had. "Since you seem so keen on bringing Blair up, why don't you just follow her example from before and assume that as long as they are sending up food, I'm alive. Other than that I don't really see the need for any interaction between us"_

_Nate suddenly snapped at the nonchalance that Chuck was presenting about the fact that he was abandoning his friends. "God damn it Chuck, we lost her too and we give a damn about what happens to you and we don't want to lose you; losing her was bad enough. And you are hiding yourself away in this cave of a hotel room acting like you're the only one that lost someone important to you. I'm aware that she was the love of your life but the four of us were best friends and you are acting like you are the only one going through this." Nate shouted, gesticulating wildly. "I'm the Great Chuck Bass, Blair's dead and I've got to hide myself away from everyone because no one else can possibly understand my pain! Chuck she was Serena's best friend, her sister, and she was my girlfriend for ten years, TEN! I've spent more of my life in her presence than I have out of it. And yesterday they proclaimed her dead, added her name to the memorial with the rest of the people who died in that awful storm, the name of our best friend. So don't fucking act like you are the only one who's lost someone here." When Chuck didn't say anything Nate thought that perhaps he had gotten through to him. He thought too soon._

_How dare he. How dare he compare what Serena or Nate shared with her to what he did. "Get out." He said, softly almost under his breath. When Nate just looked at him Chuck got meaner. "Did you not hear me Archibald or are you too stupid to take a fucking hint?" Chuck asked snarkily. When Nate still didn't react he roared. "GET OUT!" _

_As Nate turned and fled the room eyes wide with fear at what Chuck might do, Chuck couldn't help but think of what Nate had said about him being alive and for the first time he contemplated the alternative. _

As Chuck remembered he couldn't help but smirk a little to himself. It had been the next day that he had tried to kill himself and if he hadn't reminded Nate about checking to see if they were sending food up, then he might have succeeded. Instead Nate and Serena found him. But the part of the conversation that really stuck out right now was the fact that Nate had said all along that they had all lost her, that the four of them were best friends. Chuck had managed to forget that in his grief; had managed to forget that Blair wasn't literally his entire world. Even though he had told them to stay away Serena, Nate, and especially Eric, had refused. He didn't exactly have in depth conversations with them, mostly they would just hang out, catch a movie, or something. Anything that took their minds off the thing that no one talked about; Blair."Well, I guess I should start with the fact that I thought I saw Blair yesterday."

"Really?" Asked Nate, sounding apprehensive. The last time Chuck saw someone who looked like Blair they didn't hear from him for a week and a half afterwards because he practically drank himself into a coma.

Serena on the other hand caught the more important part of what Chuck said. "Blair? You just said Blair. I haven't heard you say her name since . . ."

"She died." Chuck supplemented, finishing Serena's sentence. Nate's eyes widened in shock and Serena looked impressed, she also never heard Chuck admit that she was dead. "Well, yesterday after I saw the girl that looked like Blair, I took a little plunge into insanity and started actually seeing her. In the sense that I was flashing back in front of other people. I was loosing my grip on reality so I called Dr. Michov and Eric. My session with the doctor was actually productive. I said her name, we talked about the fact that I tried to . . ." Chuck paused for a moment before deciding to euphemize it now would be to backtrack. "kill myself. And I got a lot of stuff off my chest." When Nate and Serena didn't say anything, Chuck spoke again. "I'm not saying that I'm better or anything but . . ."

Serena suddenly interrupted him. "Oh my God, Chuck that's wonderful. I'm so proud of you." She exclaimed, throwing her arms around him once more.

Nate clasped him on the back. "Yeah man, that's big."

Chuck wasn't sure how to react. This wasn't exactly status quo for them; not anymore. Eventually, he relaxed and hugged Serena back. "So the SOS was kind of a good thing." Chuck said over Serena's shoulder.

"Kind of?" Eric asked, stepping towards the group. "I would say definitely. But that's why I sent it. I wanted you guys to know what had happened so that maybe. The three of you could be real friends again."

"The four of us." Chuck said with a half smile, causing Eric to grin.

* * *

Anna laughed as she spun in front of the mirror, causing her friends to burst out into laughter as well. "Whadya think?" She asked as she posed her body in all sorts of ridiculous ways

Sam walked about and smiled. "I think, if it was any shorter, you won't make it out of the hotel tonight without Diego grabbing you and fucking your brains out."

Cassie's eyes went wide as she called out the other girls name in shock. "SAM!"

"What? It's the truth and you know it." The red head said as she tilted her head. When Cassie sighed, she knew that she had won. She turned to Anna. "Unless that was the look you were going for?" She asked raising her eyebrows suggestively. As Anna smacked her arm, she practically purred. "Don't act like you don't like all the attention he gives you, even a little bit. That boy is smoking hot."

"Okay, next dress everyone." Anna said, trying to hide her blush. She knew that she was attracted to Diego's bad boy streak. Even though she had dated the golden boy all through high school, there was a very definite part of her that wanted to test the waters with Diego; see if maybe it might be fun to lose control for once. She had this thing about control, in the sense that she had to have it at all times. But she liked the way that Diego made her feel like maybe losing control every now and again wasn't so bad.

Each of them knew that Anna was just changing the subject but they switched dresses anyway and minutes later they had all reemerged from their dressing rooms. All eyes went immediately to Lina. Sam snickered while Cassie just shook her head disapprovingly. "Lina, I don't think that's the right dress for you." Anna said walking over and trying to adjust the dress.

Lina smiled at her reflection in the large mirrors. "I don't know, I really like it. Especially the color" she said smiling.

Anna had to agree that the color was gorgeous on Lina, the emerald green did wonders for her already beautiful complexion. Sam joined them at the mirror, currently donning a blue satin, one shoulder by Nicole Miller, the bright blue a brilliant contrast to her flaming hair. "Unfortunately, sweet Lina, your boobs are about one jiggle away from popping out." Sam said pointing.

Anna leaned behind Lina and mouthed to Sam, "Thank you and by the way, great dress."

Sam beamed before turning back to the mirror and looking at the edgy green dress that Lina was wearing, then the black one that Anna had on. None of them had noticed Cassie's absence until she suddenly reappeared and took hold of Lina's arm, handing her a slinky black number. "Here, you try this. I'm trying that." She said pointing at the dress currently on the blonde's curvaceous frame. Lina was frowning, something she rarely did. This however was a rare situation. Normally she had no problem choosing her own dresses but New York fashion was just so eye popping that she couldn't resist trying something fun and flirty.

Sam's eyes widened in surprise. "You are so not." She said disbelievingly. "You've never worn anything that flashy in your life."

"No, let her try it on." Anna said, looking from the dress to her friend and back. "We're in New York after all, it's definitely a time to be fashion forward."

Cassie and Lina turned and headed for the dressing room, reemerging moments later, each of them glowing. The black halter perfectly accented Lina's assets while the emerald green showed just enough on Cassie to be considered daring. "Both of you look stunning." Anna said with a smile.

The smile back on Lina's face she turned to her friends. "So do we all know what we're buying for tonight?"

Sam nodded, spinning in her blue confection but Anna shook her head, gazing off behind the girls, spotting what could be the perfect dress. "One minute girls." She said with a smirk that they all thought of as her signature. Anytime Anna was creating some form of elaborate scheme or had one of her brilliant ideas, that little smirk appeared on her face, letting the other girls know that the wheels had been turning inside that pretty head of hers or she was supremely satisfied about something.

A few minutes later Anna stepped out of the dressing room in a dress that made the rest of the girl's jaws fall open. She was wearing a red dress that would turn heads a mile away. The straps at the top had one that went around her neck, and one over each of the shoulders and the dress continued to wrap back and forth until it hit just above mid thigh. It was short, but not so much so that it wasn't still classy. "By the looks on your faces I'm guess that this dress is a yes." Anna said as the smirk reappeared.

Lina was still gaping as the other two recovered. Cassie being the first to speak. "Anna, you look startlingly beautiful."

Sam backed their eloquent friend up with a, "Damn straight." As Anna approached she fingered one of the straps. "Who's this dress designed by any way?"

At this Anna smiled brightly. "Donna Karan."

"Of course" Sam said rolling her eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Asked Anna, eyes narrowed slightly.

Sam smiled. "Just that a Donna Karan dress is almost as much your signature as that smirk that you were wearing earlier."

Anna smiled. "Which would make since, since she is my second favorite designer after . . . "

"Eleanor Waldorf." The other three girls chimed in unison. Before the four of them burst out laughing.

It was true though thought Anna, as she put on the Donna Karan dress once more, getting ready to go out. Donna Karan was definitely the designer she wore the most. She saved Eleanor Waldorf Designs for special occasions. She always imagined that she would get married in a Waldorf Original. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror. The other girls were behind her laughing and dancing to the music blasting from the speakers. The smile fell from her face as she looked around the room. There was something almost familiar about this room, as though she had been here before in a dream.

"You have the look on your face again Annabelle." Cassandra said walking up to stand next to her friend. "The one you had after you heard that guy yell after some girl yesterday, the one you had at suite 1812."

Anna turned slightly to look at their reflections in the mirror, she hadn't even heard her friend approach. "It's nothing, just a small bout of déjà vu."

Cassie scoffed. "But see there's the difference between you and most people. While déjà vu for them is nothing, for you it could be real, it could be something from the part of your life that you don't remember. I have heard you say so many times that New York City has been calling to you. That you had to come here and to me that would reason that the you from before probably lived here, or at very least it was important to her. That being said, being here has got to mean something. So if you're feeling like something's familiar or anything like that, then it very well may be."

Anna nodded at her friend. She had been thinking the same things herself but she hadn't wanted to say it aloud. For the past two years, she had wanted so badly to remember but now that it seemed like it was a possibility she was frightened about what that could mean.

Soon enough the girls were walking out of the hotel suite. As Sam looked at Anna with poignant eyes, she got out her phone and sent a text to Diego. They had all talked about it earlier, the fact that even though Diego didn't run in their crowd back home, they had still spent a fair amount of time together over the years. And it seemed crazy that when there were five of them in town from their school, that they should leave one of them to fend for themselves. Anna had been the obvious choice for who to invite Diego out with them, if only because she was the only one with his phone number; they had been AP Chemistry partners this past year. At the last minute she added a signature that only he would really understand.

**C, L, S and I r going 2 socialista, want 2 join?  
CG**

Diego looked down at his phone and was surprised to see the text from Anna. His first thought was that something bad had happened to her or one of the other girls, why else would she have texted him. When he saw the words he relaxed. He didn't know why he was so jumpy in the first place, of course they were okay. He looked around the warehouse he was in as people were starting to gather. On second thought, he knew why he expected her to be in danger; all he ever knew of New York City was danger.

"Alejandro, man I've got to head out." Diego called out, doing something that no one else in the Latino Bloods would ever dream of doing and walking up to the number one guy; of course Diego had a little leeway there seeing as Alejandro was his brother inside and outside of the gang.

Alejandro frowned, staring at his younger brother who had just arrived the day before. "That's not how things work around here Shadow. I don't know what our cousin has been teaching you in Texas but up here we still do things right. We're about to have a meeting and when we have meetings all actives have to be present. And now that includes you once more."

Diego didn't know how since he was actually a few inches taller than Alejandro, but it always seemed that Alejandro was staring him down. Diego knew that if he wanted freedom within the gang, he had to assert this now. "They don't call me Shadow anymore."

Alejandro looked at him alarmed, people didn't go around changing monikers on a whim. "Then pray tell brother, what do they call you?"

"Angel." Diego said looking directly into his brother's eyes and saying the one word that he knew would make the older boy back off. Angel was actually the first part of his moniker to begin with. Officially he had been Angel's Shadow. The name was symbolic not only of the way that he had followed the member known as Angel around, but the fact that one day he was to take the other member's place.

Recoiling backwards, Alejandro wanted to be sick, or to punch someone. How dare his little brother speak that name, here in this warehouse with him still as boss. "How long?" Was all he asked.

"Since about two months after Dad died. They claimed I couldn't be the Shadow of someone that didn't exist; that it was asking for bad luck. So they made me Angel, saying that it's what he had wanted anyway." Diego said, still not looking away. Their father was known as one of the greatest leaders of all time in the Latino Bloods. He had made them prosperous beyond any other gang's wild imagination. All of this he did from New York City. When Alejandro became of age to run the New York Operation. Their dad had taken his mom and Diego to Texas to help their cousins out with the operation down there. Alejandro had always been jealous of Diego's place in their father's eyes. He didn't hide it well. Everyone in the Bloods was aware of the fact that their father always intended for Diego to one day take over the entire operation. It wasn't what Diego wanted but he knew that if he needed to he could challenge his brother for the position.

Alejandro looked away. "Fine, Angel it is then." He looked back at his brother when he spoke.

Diego knew that this was the chance to establish some freedom and so he took it. "And I really can't stay tonight hermano. Lo siento."

"I had been planning to reintroduce you to the family tonight but I suppose it could wait until another time." Alejandro said, almost dejectedly.

"Sounds good." Then he used his brother's moniker, something few gang members would be willing to do since most now referred to him as 'Boss.' "Later, Snake Eyes." As he walked out of the Warehouse, he knew that Alejandro was glaring daggers into the back of his head and he couldn't help but smile, he had won this round. He took out his phone and texted Anna. He had noticed the signature that she had left on hers and couldn't resist doing the same.

**I'll meet u there.  
G**

About half an hour later he spotted them at the bar. Each of them in a more daring outfit than the last. When his eyes landed on Anna he felt like he had been hit over the head with a baseball bat. She had pulled her now short hair back and left a few curled strands to dangle by her face, her lipstick was a shocking red that perfectly matched the color of her dress. She looked incredible. He walked over to join them. "Hola mamacitas."

Anna rolled her eyes at his use of Spanish. They were all plenty used to it, after all they lived in Texas, but they were in New York now, was there really a need for it? As she heard the other girls giggling she knew that once more they had fallen under the spell that was Diego Gutierrez; but she was careful to remain passive and unmoved as he sat down next to her at the bar and ordered her another drink. "Don't worry amor mìo, I only have eyes for you." He reached out and brushed a curl of her face. Anna's head flipped quickly to check and see if her friends had noticed but Diego took her face in his hands and turned it gently back. "They're dancing."

"Diego, we shouldn't. Someone might see." Anna said softly.

"So, let them." Diego said with a shrug. "I don't care if people know how I feel about you." He was starting to lean closer.

Anna realized that his lips were nearing hers. Something that hadn't happened in a very long time. With him this close to her, she could almost taste him, the memory of their only kiss strong in her head.

_"YOU INFURIATE ME!" Anna screamed as she slung her chemistry book across her empty living room. He had been making suggestive comments and touching her all afternoon and she had had enough. _

_Diego smirked. "You know you like it, bella." He said as he laid a hand on her shoulder, rubbing her soft skin with his fingers. _

_"Stop it." She practically spat, knocking his arm off her shoulder._

_"Make me." Diego said taking a step closer. He could almost feel her lips on his already and they weren't even touching. He had dreamed of kissing her for so long that he wasn't about to back down. He knew that she wanted this as much as he did._

_Anna raised up her hands and placed them on his chest to push him off, but as she was beginning to push, her fingers suddenly tightened on the fabric of his shirt and she brought his lips crashing into hers."_

There had been just that one intense make out session between them because she had felt guilty about what she was doing to Jackson and she and Diego just weren't right together. Intense sexual chemistry, check, anything else in common, not so much. So right before his lips would have touched her own she turned her head and his lips hit her cheek.

Diego groaned as he pulled back slightly to look at her. "What's the problem now, first it was Jackson but from what I've heard, you two aren't even together anymore, so what is it now?"

Anna looked at him, wanting to kiss him but at the same time feeling like there was something just plain wrong about kissing him here, in this place. It was as though she felt like someone important might see. So she said the one thing that she knew in her gut was true. "You're dangerous, Angel."

He hissed at her use of his moniker. She was the one person non-affiliated with the gang to dare to do such a thing. She knew he was dangerous but clearly she was brazen enough to use his name so she had to feel some level of safety and comfort with him. "Damn straight." He said grabbing her head and pulling her lips to his own.

Anna reached up around his neck and laced her hands into his hair, once the kiss had started there was no way she was breaking it. She enjoyed the feeling just a little too much. They probably would have been told to get a room if a blonde girl hadn't bumped into them.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Jenny Humphrey said turning to face the couple who she had just interrupted. "Oh my God." She said eyes going wide in shock and voice getting light and airy.

"Honey, are you okay?" Anna asked reaching out and placing a hand on the girls arm, making sure she hadn't lost her balance in the collision.

Jenny blinked a few times, trying to see if the vision in front of her was going to disappear. When it didn't she spoke, "Do I know you from somewhere?" She asked, not wanting the girl to think she was a total freak. She might look like Blair Waldorf but there were some differences like the southern accent for one.

Anna smiled. "I don't think so, I'm new in town. I'm from Texas but I start school at Columbia next week. I'm Annabelle Carmichael-Getty but most of my friends call me Anna." She said introducing herself, the girl in front of her was pretty, tall, blonde, and clearly had amazing fashion sense. Her dress was to die for.

Jenny smiled in return, even though she was still mystified at the uncanny resemblance. "My name's Jenny Humphrey and I'm from the city so probably not. I'm starting at Parsons next week for design so maybe I'll see you around."

"Ooo, here let me give you my number, we can get together some time and hang out, if you want?" Anna said getting out her phone.

"Okay sure." Jenny said, unable to quit staring at the girl in front of her. They exchanged phones and typed in their numbers before switching back. "So I guess I'll see you soon?" Jenny asked, starting to move away, she really wanted to call Eric.

"Definitely." Anna said smiling. "Oh by the way, I adore your dress. It reminds me of something Eleanor Waldorf would release.

Jenny's eyebrows shot up. The Blair look-a-like had just name dropped Eleanor Waldorf. "Actually, this is one of mine. I'm one of Eleanor's junior designers."

"That's so awesome, so you're J. Humphrey? Some of your designs are my favorite." Anna said brightly.

Jenny nodded pleased that her work had been recognized. That had been part of the deal when she went to work for Eleanor. She had been made into a junior designer, got to sit in on all the important meetings, and she got a special label on all her designs, with her label.

**Eleanor Waldorf Original  
By J. Humphrey  
**

Now she had to call Eric. "Sorry Anna, I've got to go meet a friend, but once you're settled in give me a call and we'll go shopping or something."

Anna nodded this time as Jenny left, before turning back to Diego who was talking to the bartender. "It's probably a good thing she interrupted us."

Diego frowned as he faced her. "I'm inclined to disagree. But look at you already making high profile friends in the city."

Anna gave a little smirk. "I always said I was meant to be a fabulous city girl and now . . ."

"You are." Diego finished. "Come on, lets go dance." He said, extending his hand.

Anna bit her lip, thinking about it, but then she decided, 'What the hell' and took his hand.

* * *

"OMG Eric you are not going to believe what just happened to me!" Jenny exclaimed into her phone.

Eric smiled on the other end. Jenny was clearly bubbling about something. "What is it Jen?"

Jenny dove right in, cutting to the point. "I just talked to a girl who looks exactly like Blair Waldorf."

"There's a lot of that going around . . . WAIT you talked to her?" Eric responded in shock.

Jenny explained what had happened and Eric couldn't help but sigh in frustration. This was bad, Jenny could not be making friends with the look-a-like. This was going to be hard enough for Chuck as it was, without having a the doppelganger around. "Jenny I wish you wouldn't do this." Eric said emphatically.

"Why not?" Jenny asked, defiant. "I can make friends with whoever I want."

Eric knew she was right. If Jenny wanted to be friends with this Anna girl, he couldn't stop her but he could at least ask her a favor. "You're right, I can't do anything to stop you from being the girl's friend. Just do one thing for me and don't mention her or bring her around Chuck."

Jenny knew Eric was right about that point. If Chuck ever really saw Anna up close, he would become obsessed. Because Blair Waldorf or not, Annabelle Carmichael-Getty could pass for her twin, especially with the smirk she had just witnessed the girl shoot the handsome Hispanic beside her.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it guys. More encounters between Anna and her old life lay ahead in the next chapter. All the dresses that the girls wore in this chapter are on my profile.**

**For those of you who don't know Spanish, here's the words I used:  
hermano:brother  
Lo siento: I'm sorry  
Hola: Hello  
Mamacitas: Literally translated little mamas but used as a term for young women  
amor mìo: My Love  
bella: beautiful  
**

**Reviews are always appreciated**

**xoxo  
kate**


	4. The Thin Veil Between Dreams and Reality

**A/N: You guys can thank Emerald2564 for motivating me to update so quickly. Thanks girl :) By the way everyone I posted a poll on my profile if any of you want to check it out.  
**

**To my reviewers: **A few of you expressed concerns that the Non Judging Breakfast Club had moved passed Blair and should have been more nostalgic over her absence. That's how they've been for the past two years, which will become increasingly evident through flashbacks and such. This is the first time that they have managed to be slightly normal without her.

Thanks to all my reviewers: **abelard**,** LC-LOVES-CB**, **xoxogg4lifexoxo**,** Xxrogen**,** LitPrincess2787**, **jjackieperez1**, **Sesshomaru's Beautiful Kristin**, **Emerald2564**, **yei, ryclnshea**, **faye29**, **teddy bear**, **annablake**, and **CarolinaGirl21. **It's because of you guys that I write and update so quickly.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

* * *

She felt her body jerking up and down, her stomach dropping with each drop of the plane. She looked around and could see the storm raging outside the airplane window. The nausea overwhelmed her as she tried to make it to the bathroom. She walked carefully, holding onto to various seats and items trying to reach the bathroom, that was entirely too fancy for any normal plane. Just as she was almost there, she felt herself be thrown backwards, the armrest of a seat slamming into her back. Her brown curls tumbled in front of her obscuring her vision as she fell to the floor.

She heard a voice garbled over the sounds of the storm and the plane, "Grab onto something, I'll try to get to you!" She did her best to do as the voice demanded, grasping for anything as she was bounced around on the floor of the plane. She winced as her shoulder hit a seat and again as her head bashed into the table. Terror was raging through her as she felt the plane dip and she slide through the center of the exceptionally nice jet into what looked like a tray of tea cookies. The plane was still dipping and coincidentally she ended up slamming into the wall of the jet. She was able to use the downward momentum to right herself.

The moment she managed to stand up she wished she'd stayed on the floor. She could see inside the cockpit, from the looks of it the co-pilot was knocked out, maybe dead, there was blood pouring from a wound in his head and she could see for the first time the storm as a whole. Lightening was shooting through the sky and it looked like a sheer wall of water in front of them, every time the plane would dip she could see tsumoni size waves flying upwards. Her first thought was that they shouldn't be flying that low but as the plane tipped upwards she saw why they were. Above them were pitch black clouds and every once in a while she would hear a crash and see sparks and debris. The control towers must all be out, meaning that the planes had no idea where they were going. This thought was confirmed as she looked at their own navigational software and saw in large flashing letters ERROR . . . MANUAL OVERDRIVE . . . ERROR . . . MANUAL OVERDRIVE . . . ERROR . . . The emergency sounds were going off and the pilot looked absolutely petrified.

She wasn't going to cry, she refused to cry. She decided to turn around and try to reach the voice, find him, he had stopped calling to her. As she turned to look for him, she didn't see anyone. She got back on the floor, her back pressed against the wall and searched with her eyes. There! She thought as she saw a mass of dark hair facing the other direction. She began working her way toward him, making sure that she always had a firm hold on the furniture around her. She crawled, pulling herself along. The plane jerked violently upward and she found herself tumbling once more; rolling towards the back of the plane. The planes lights began to flicker and the emergency sounds increased in volume. A voice in her head was screaming, "You're about to die! You're about to die." But she fought the voice as she fought her way towards the voice.

She didn't know how, but the emergency exit door was open and it seemed to be sucking outwards. That was good, in a few moments they were going to need to be able to get out of here. As soon as she had the thought, the plane shifted, she knew what was happening, they were nose diving, crashing towards the water. Her body started flying back the other direction and she screamed at the top of her lungs, but she felt an arm grab her own. She looked up at the person holding her but all she could see was up to the neck, which had a multicolored scarf wrapped around it. "We're going to have to jump in about two minutes." The voice screamed at her. "We should be close enough to the water that we won't get hurt jumping, but not so close that we'll get pulled under with the plane."

She nodded and then the plane lurched. "No!" he screamed as he lost hold on her for a second, before grasping with his other arm.

"I love you." She said, trying not to cry, trying to sound strong; she knew that she was failing.

"Don't say that like that. Like it's the last time you are ever going to say that to me. I swear you will tell me that you love me again and I will tell you a million times over. I've just managed to say it and I refuse to stop. We're going to survive this!" He called, his voice still garbled. She knew that he was looking at her, but once more she couldn't tilt her neck up high enough to see his face.

She felt the strike more than she saw it. The whole plane vibrated as the lightning bolt hit the nose. Suddenly, the plane was completely out of control. "We have to jump now!" The voice shouted. And they made their way towards the exit.

"Tell me you love me." She shouted over the wail of the storm. "I need to hear it before I jump."

He faced her once more, but her hair obscured her vision, the strands stinging her cheeks. "I love you. Always have, always will. Now on the count of three. One . . . Two . . ."

The voice never got to three, as the plane which had already been racing towards the water at an alarming pace, suddenly accelerated, just as it hit an air patch sending them both in different directions; the voice towards the exit and her backwards. "NOOOOOO!!!" He shouted as her fingers fell just through his grasp and he went flying from the plane. She slammed into the wall, knowing that moments from now the plane would hit the water. Her vision was blurry and black spots kept appearing. The plane was shaking all over and the sound of the storm was roaring in her ears. She could also hear her own voice screaming uncontrollably. And just before they hit the water, she threw herself towards the emergency exit and everything went black.

Anna woke up gasping for air; she could tell she had been screaming because of the rawness in her throat. The tears that were streaming down her face were a surprise too. She didn't usually cry and the screaming didn't happen very often either. This time she was more rattled than was normal. Her body seemed to be convulsing with these strange sobs that she was emitting. Suddenly, Cassie's arms were around her.

"It's okay Anna, it's okay. I'm here." Cassie said as she held her shaking friend, rocking her back and forth against her chest. "You're okay. It was just a dream." Cassie had come as soon as she heard the screams. The door was already open because they had both known that this would happen. She didn't know why she was so alarmed tonight; maybe it was because the after effects were almost as bad as the night after junior prom. Cassie started to drift back to that night, it was after all the night that she and Anna had become close; but the sound of Anna's voice pulled her back.

She was clutching tightly to Cassie's torso. She didn't know what else to do. Slowly, her body seemed to come out of it. "I'm so sorry for waking you Cass."

Cassie shook her head. "That's preposterous Anna and you know that. That's why we are breaking all forms of pretense and you and I are in conjoined suites instead of you and Sammy." Cassie said calmingly. "Do you not remember that horrendous story I created as to why we had to room like this?" She asked trying to lighten the mood a little.

Anna's laughter broke through her tears. "Oh my God, I know, wasn't something about how your mom didn't think that we could room together . . ."

"Without killing each other, yeah." Cassie said laughing to before doing her best mom voice. "So she was insisting that we room together this week . . ." She couldn't finish as laughter overcame her.

Anna was still laughing but somehow managed to finish the sentence. ". . . To test it out. I couldn't believe it when they all bought it." Suddenly, both girls were laughing hysterically. They rolled around on the bed, the hilarity of that whole scenario replaying through their heads. As shrewd as Sam was, Cassie could fool anyone but Anna. Eventually, the girls collapsed on the bed, exhausted from their continuous laughter. After a few moments of silence, Anna turned her head to face Cassie. "Cass, it was really bad this time."

Cassie turned her head until she was facing Anna as well. Both girls were lying flat on their backs on the bed and Cassie reached out with one hand and grabbed Anna's. "I could tell."

Anna didn't know how Cassie managed to use three words to convey the same sentiment that would have taken her sentences to express. Two years ago, when Annabelle had appeared in Houston, no one would have thought that she and Cassie would be the inseparable of the set of four. It was always supposed to be Anna and Sam or as Sam liked to refer to them, Annie and Sammy. They were the most vivacious, the most likely to climb up and dance on a table at a high class bar. But while Anna loved Sam, there was a connection with Cassie that she couldn't have imagined ever having with someone else. Cassie grounded her and in return Anna helped to brighten Cassie's calm. Anna squeezed Cassie's hand. "Everything felt so vivid this time; almost more painful I guess. The sounds were louder and my body still hurts from slamming into things. I feel like I'm going to have bruises tomorrow."

Cassie tried not to frown, knowing that it wouldn't help, but she knew that her face was serious. "Did you see anymore of the mysterious guy?"

Anna began shaking her head, before an image popped into her head. "He was wearing a scarf." She said almost dazedly.

"A scarf?" Cassie asked, curiously. That was unexpected. "Well that's something to look for, when we are searching. The mysterious guy is the only real clue that we have to your past." Cassie watched as Anna reached under her negligee, pulling out the necklace that she wore underneath. She only ever wore it to bed anymore because when she wore it during the day there were just too many questions. She watched as her friend examined the strange locket. "Have you come any closer to opening it?"

Anna simply shook her head. "No, and I won't. It's a key mechanism. Something fits into this, strange shaped hole in back. I know you guys wanted me to force it open even though the jeweler said not to, it's just I have this feeling that the jeweler is right and only the key can open it, without damaging what's inside."

Cassie nodded. They had had this discussion before but she couldn't help but ask. She like everyone else was curious about the intricately designed locket. It was a traditional heart shaped locket, if slightly larger, but the designs on it were so very complex and beautiful. "You know you can't keep ignoring suite 1812." Cassie said softly, hoping that Anna wouldn't lash out at her. They hadn't really talked about it since in front of the mirror that day and that was such a light conversation.

"I know." Anna said quietly, matching her tone in its gentleness. Sometimes it scared her how intuitive Cassie was when it came to her thoughts. "I think I might ask the front desk who lives there before I go around knocking on strange people's doors just because I like the number." Anna said with a smile.

"Probably a good idea." Cassie said as she stifled a yawn. "Do you want me to stay in here with you or are you good?"

Anna thought about it for a moment. She knew that if Cassie was here than she wouldn't dream again. She never had the dream when she was in the room with someone. Except for that one time. Her mind began to wander back but then she remembered Cassie's question. "Yeah, if you don't mind staying, that would be really great."

Cassie nodded and within moments, both girls had fallen asleep.

* * *

Chuck looked down at the small object sitting in his palm. There were probably no more than five people in the world, who could look at the object and immediately know what it was. He and Blair had been two of those people. He fingered the small thing, rolling it back and forth in his palm. In truth, if he hadn't had it commissioned himself, he would have never guessed what the thing could do. He took the tiny chain that held the object, the key, and replaced it around his neck. He needed _her_ . . . needed Blair close to his heart tonight.

As he lay down on his comfortable mattress and slid under the 1500 Thread Count Egyptian Cotton sheets that Blair had purchased for him in their short time, really together. He reached up and clasped the tiny key in his palm. He had given her the locket before they boarded the jet and she had put it on immediately. She had never gotten to open it and he had never shown her how it worked, that his key was the only thing that could fit into the lock and open it. If she tried to open it any other way the locket would have been destroyed.

Not that any of that mattered any more. He had to start accepting the fact that Blair was really and truly gone. He had made so much progress the past two days but it was still so difficult to get through even a die without her in his life. She had been what made life worth living; but he couldn't give up, not when he had a family counting on him. That's what Nate, Serena, and Eric were, they were his family. Along with Jenny, Dan, and Scott but on a different level; they weren't a part of the Non-Judging Breakfast Club that Blair had created. Technically neither was Eric but Chuck hardly thought that Blair would have minded that addition; Eric was as much a little brother to her as he was to Chuck. As he continued fingering the key, his thoughts drifted off, until he was sound asleep.

* * *

Diego looked around the suite. It was exceptionally nice; this had to be one of the best hotels in the city. He thought back fondly on his night with Anna; unable to keep the smile from rising to his features. That was the most public their "relationship" had ever been, if you could call it a relationship. She was more beautiful now than ever. The city suited her nicely and she had looked absolutely stunning tonight in her red dress. When he had kissed her he had felt as though his whole body was on fire. He had almost forgotten that feeling.

The last time that they had kissed had been just as passionate, just as full of desire and want as the one at Socialista last night; but somehow he had managed to forget just how amazing it had felt. However, as soon as his lips had touched hers once more, he had remembered everything, the spark, the electricity, the taste, and the incredible softness from before. If a simple kiss from Annabelle Carmichael-Getty felt that damn good, he could only imagine what really being with her would feel like; what it would do to him. The fire that was raging inside of him for her would probably flare to full height and consume him until there was nothing left. If that was an option of how to die, in the supreme happiness or being with her, he would trade away his life within moments. It wasn't like it was worth that much anyway.

He shook the negative thought from his head. Only positive thoughts tonight. He had convinced Anna to give him a shot at taking her out. They were going out on Wednesday night and everything had to be perfect. Anna only deserved the very best.

* * *

As Anna approached the front desk she was a little nervous. She didn't even know what she was doing. It was just after nine in the morning and she knew that all of her friends were still asleep. As for Cassandra, Anna had proof as the girl was still in her bed this morning. Thank God for Cassie last night, thought Anna as she rang the small silver bell on the counter to signal assistance.

When the concierge materialized in front of her asking how she could help her, Anna took a deep breath. "I know that this is a strange request but I was wondering if you could tell me the occupant of a certain suite."

The concierge nodded bored, "It shouldn't be a problem. What's the number?"

"Thanks, it's just I think I might know the guy staying there. It's suite 1812." Anna said babbling, a trait that she had picked up from Lina.

The woman behind the desk was nodding disinterestedly until she heard the room number. At that she barked a laugh, before looking the girl up and down. She was certainly Mr. Bass's type. The brown hair, the slim figure, the full lips, all met the usual bill of girls who went up to his suite in the past two years that she had been an employee at the Palace.

Anna's eyes narrowed. The side of her most people never had the misfortune of seeing was starting to emerge. "Can you inform me as to what exactly I have said to provoke laughter?"

Looking at the small girl, the woman was surprised. She sensed power behind the sparkling brown eyes, so she answered more nicely than she would have for someone else. "It's just that you picked one of the only rooms in this hotel that I'm not authorized to inform you of the identity of the occupant. Besides, I assure you that either you know the guy or you don't."

Eyes still narrowed, Anna's voice took on a certain air of influence. "Are you certain that you can't make an exception this one time?"

The woman was truly taken aback; this young woman was a force to be reckoned with if she ever witnessed one. And normally she would have gladly provided her with the information that she was seeking but this was an unusual circumstance. "I'm sorry I can't if I have any intention of having a job tomorrow."

Anna's curiosity was peaked. Whoever was currently staying in 1812 had power and influence. "So this man is powerful enough to cost you your job?" She asked, almost looking away.

The woman nodded her head slightly before giving the girl a slight hint. "Let's just say that the man is a permanent resident here."

At this bit of info, Anna was definitely interested. It was possible that if she had once lived in New York, then the current inhabitant of 1812 could have been the inhabitant of 1812 before as well. With that she thanked the woman behind the counter and rode the elevator back up to her floor. This time she purposefully took the wrong direction off the elevator; she had a particular destination in mind tonight.

Soon enough, the door was within her vision again. As the letters became clear on the doorway, she couldn't help but flash to the memory of the number 1812 in her head; her favorite. She approached the door, allowing her fingers to trail along the numbers once more, relishing in the smooth sensations along her fingertips. She raised her hand to knock on the door and couldn't resist looking both left and right to ensure that there was no one here to stop her this time. As her fist, rapped against the wooden door, her stomach dropped. What was she doing here, outside of a stranger's door, waiting on it to open? She knocked one more time, knowing that it wasn't likely that she would build up this kind of courage again.

After another moment, she decided either no one was home, they were asleep, or they were looking through the peephole and didn't care to open the door. With that conclusion, she decided to leave and head back to her room; the others should be waking up. This whole notion had been ridiculous to begin with. She didn't know what had even possessed her to do this she thought as she turned and began to walk the other direction. Like really, how crazy would that person have thought that she was if they had actually opened the door; sane people just didn't do that. Anna was so lost in thought that she didn't even hear the door open and wouldn't have stopped if a hand hadn't grabbed her arm.

"Wait!" Called a disheveled young man, dressed in what looked to be his pajama bottoms and nothing else. His hair was tussled but she could tell immediately that his brown hair normally fell flat. Anna couldn't deny that the man was handsome, with his angular features that could best be described as penetrating and his hazel eyes. There was something about those eyes that seemed as though they could see strait through her flesh and into her soul; as if they knew her. At that thought, something inside her flared up, the same something that had seemed to click two days ago when someone yelled at her on the street. She continued to think about his appearance, she really really wanted something about this man in front of her to do more than cause a strange physiological reaction in her that told her that she was attracted to him. She wanted to look at him and for everything to simply fall into place; so she kept studying his eyes and the shock that currently lay within them. The young man looked as though he had seen a ghost. "Blair." He gasped his voice husky and raw as though he had spent all night in tears.

He couldn't believe it, she was here, she was alive, she was standing right in front of him. He wasn't going crazy, he wasn't stupid for holding onto hope that he wasn't the only one to have survived that plane crash, because here was the living breathing proof, standing right before his very eyes and he wasn't even inebriated. All of those hopes came crashing down as soon as the vision in front of him opened her mouth.

Anna frowned. "No, actually my name is Annabelle Carmichael-Getty. And before you ask about the accent, I'm from Houston, Texas." She said with a smile before adding. "Do we know each other, sir?" She asked, noticing that he still had yet to let go of her arm. She had added the sir because clearly he wasn't who she had hoped him to be and the south had taught her to use proper manners with those one wasn't acquainted with.

He looked at her sharply, trying to form words."You're not Blair." He said, in the same husky voice as this Annabelle shook her head slightly. He tried the name out on his lips, "Annabelle." He said softly. "From Texas." He couldn't deny the southern accent and there were some acute difference in the two girls but the similarities were so well similar. He found he couldn't stop staring at her, drinking her in. He imagined that he looked like a crazed lunatic as he did his best to absorb every part of her image, scalding it back into his brain so as never to forget because Blair or not, this girl was a dead ringer. But he knew he couldn't just accuse her of being someone that she clearly wasn't, he couldn't start shouting at this girl that she was his dead girlfriend without being locked away in the loony bin for real this time.

"Yes, well, most of my friends call me Anna." She said, slightly worried about the man in front of her. He looked acutely distressed and it brought out a level of concern in her that was abnormal. Being motherly wasn't generally in her nature; that was Cassie or Lina's job. In fact one would say that Cassie and Lina had had a lot of experience being motherly after Anna and Sam had destroyed someone. Finally something made since, this guy in front of her could easily be the guy from the street. "Did you see me on the street the other day?" She asked curiosity getting the better of her. The young man in front of her, now looking more and more like a boy nodded.

Chuck couldn't believe the resemblance between the two. He had to constantly keep in mind that this girl wasn't Blair, Blair was dead, this was Annabell from Texas. "I'm sorry . . . Anna . . ." He said, trying the name on his lips once more. It didn't roll off his tongue well when he was looking at the girl and thinking the name Blair. "I thought that you were someone else."

"I get that a lot." She said with a small smile, which was true when she thought about it. The French girl in the airport especially might be connected to this guy and Jenny too, it had sounded like maybe they could have all called her Blair; not that she hadn't had other people call her other names. Suddenly, the idea that this had happened to her twice in less than twenty four hours seemed a little odd. "Do you by any chance know a Jenny . . . a Jenny . . . Humphrey?" She asked, struggling to recall the last name of the blonde that she had met the night before.

"You know Jenny?" Chuck asked the look-a-like, surprised once more when Anna nodded. "She's my stepsister." He concluded. So Jenny had met the look-a-like and not told anyone, that was interesting. Eric of course. Chuck thought to himself, Jenny probably had told someone, Eric, but Eric was looking out for him and hadn't mentioned it.

"Oh, well that makes since then. I ran into her last night at a club, Socialista, and she thought that I looked like someone else too. I'm guessing it's that girl Blair you were talking about." Anna said, running her other hand through her hair. It was in that gesture that she realized how awkward their current position was. The man whose name she didn't know was still holding her arm as though he really didn't want to let go.

Chuck tried not to flinch as he heard the look-a-like say Blair's name. It just looked so wrong coming from her lips. Are girl shouldn't be talking about herself in third person; but then he remembered again that this wasn't Blair he was talking to. It wasn't just the similarity in looks, there was something else, something more about this girl, that just screamed Blair to him. But Blair was dead. "Are you staying here?" He asked, trying to keep up conversation for as long as possible. He didn't want the vision in front of him to disappear.

Anna nodded once more. For some reason she felt as though she was communicating almost as much through gestures as she was through words. "Down the hall actually. We'll be here until the end of the week before I move into the dorms at Columbia." There was an uncomfortable silence; that was comprised of both parties staring intensely at each other. Anna didn't know why but she couldn't seem to break this strange young man's gaze or the hold he had on her arm, not that she had truly tried to do either one. "I should go though. I have people to see."

He couldn't not smile. He would see her again, quite possibly a lot. He shouldn't want this, shouldn't want to keep seeing this girl who was clearly not Blair but he couldn't not see her. It wasn't in him to shy away from the sight of Blair Waldorf after two long years, even if she came with the personality of someone else. At least he was sane enough to know that it wasn't actually Blair, that had to count for something. "Well I hope I'll be seeing you soon. By the way, I don't believe I've introduced myself. I'm Chuck Bass." He said with a smirk. The Bass was back.

She smiled. "It was nice to meet you Chuck Bass."

"The same to you Annabelle, the same to you." He found that he enjoyed saying her whole name, liking the way that her full name sounded coming from his mouth and liking the way his seemed to drip from hers, like honey in her southern accent. As he spoke, he slid his hand down her forearm to her hand which he brought to his lips, before placing a single kiss on her hand, his eyes never leaving hers.

Anna smiled as she turned and walked down the hallway. That had been a strange meeting and she couldn't shake the sense that something inside of her felt incredible alive as tingles traveled from the spot on her hand that Chuck Bass's lips has touched, throughout her body.

Chuck watched as Annabelle turned the corner, only realizing after she was gone that it was she who had been knocking on his door, not the other way around. He was playing a dangerous game, involving himself with someone who looked so very much like Blair. He knew that his psychiatrist would not be happy with him and he was going to have to be very careful not to mention this to anyone. As he walked back into his suite and shut the door, he couldn't help but think that it would be all right because he of course knew that she wasn't Blair Waldorf . . . right?

* * *

**A/N: To those of you I promised an update tonight, I'm sorry it's so late, but I hope that you enjoyed it :)**

**Reviews are always very much appreciated and adored. **

**xoxo  
kate**


	5. You Have All of Me

**A/N: So I know it has been a little while, summer school just got really busy. I am trying to finish up one or two of my other fanfics before school gets started back in the fall so that I won't have to update so infrequently; so I have been focusing on those. Don't worry this story isn't ending anytime in the near future though. It's just starting to get interesting. Btw, I have pics of all the AU characters if anyone wants to see them, just pm me. Now here's the chapter, I hope you all enjoy. **

**To my reviewers: **To those of you who had thoughts on the CB scene at the end of the last chapter, I hope that this one manages to clear things up.

Thanks to all my reviewers:** Sesshomaru's Beautiful Kristin, Sheri.808, ggfanfic-fan, xoxogg4lifexoxo, sugarfusion, illusion100, riclynshea, BrittyKay247, Lai, flipped, annablake, Emerald2564, abelard, pisaniel, rainbowbutterflie, chelle2911, moccamary, LC-LOVES-CB, LitPrincess2787, and CarolinaGirl21**  
It's because of you guys and your inspiration that I manage to keep writing so much.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters. (or anything from Buffy the Vampire Slayer either)**

the above statement about not owning Buffy is here because I'm now fairly certain I took a quote from Spike and gave it to Chuck. I didn't realize where the line had come from until one of my reviewers told me *thanks sugarfusion.*

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

* * *

He looked over at Blair, sitting in the seat next to him on the plane. It was clear that the turbulence had been affecting her; her face was blanched leaving her looking nauseous. He noticed that the nausea became too much to control for Blair as she scrambled out of the seats and towards the bathroom. He was concerned, he had never been in this type of intense turbulence before but he trusted his pilot; after all, only the best worked for Bass Industries.

He had only looked away from Blair for a moment when the plane made a sudden dip and as he flipped his head back towards her, he could see her flying backwards through the air until she slammed into one of the seats. Immediately, he was terrified. He called out above the sounds of the now raging storm, hoping that she could hear him. "Grab onto something, I'll try to get to you!" He couldn't help but notice that the in the midst of this disaster, his voice sounded oddly distorted.

His heart was pounding furiously as he watched Blair be tossed about the plane like a rag doll. He was cringing every time she bashed into a new object and he wanted nothing more to reach her and pull her to him. Right now he knew that wasn't a possibility, she had to figure out a way to grab onto something and the plane had to stop thrashing about or he would never make it to her.

Screw that, he thought before reaching out for the next solid object, to which he pulled himself. He wasn't going to sit around and watch her be injured when he could potentially do something. So slowly, he began making his way towards her, one piece of furniture at a time; all the while calling out to her, trying to let her know that it was going to be okay. He watched as she was slammed against the wall and was able to stand herself up. Momentarily distracted by a look of abject fear that crossed Blair's face, he didn't hold on tightly enough and was thrown backwards.

He winced as he hit the ground. When he finally managed to work his way back to his feet, he noticed that Blair wasn't against the wall anymore. The plane lurched upwards once more; they were going to crash. He knew it in his gut and the only way to survive this kind of plane crash was to jump. They were flying low enough that it should be safe, especially if the waited closer to crash time; but they had to be ready. So he launched himself towards the exit door, where he grabbed the bar and yanked open with one great thrust. He could feel the sucking power of the outside air and momentarily let himself feel scared.

As he turned back around he saw Blair, almost to him; but as the plane started to nosedive she went flailing backwards once more. No, not again, they were so close. So he reached out and grabbed her arm, holding so tightly to her that he thought that she would likely have a bruise. He almost laughed at the thought; there was a chance that they were going to die and he was worried about a bruise on her arm. She needed to know his plan. "We're going to have to jump in about two minutes." He looked to her to see that she had heard, but her hair was whipping furiously around her face and his god damn scarf was obstructing his view so he couldn't tell for sure; but he trusted that she understood. "We should be close enough to the water by then that we won't get hurt jumping, but not so close that we'll get pulled under with the plane."

The plane made another sudden jerk and he felt her slip through his fingers, "NO!" He shouted as his other arm shot out and grabbed her. He wasn't going to lose her, not after he had just managed to really find her. He could tell that she was scared, that she was about to cry and he wanted to make everything better.

"I love you." Blair said, through the tears that were now starting to fall.

He felt that way too but he refused to let her say goodbye and he knew that that was exactly what she was doing. Saying that she loved him right now was just her way of making sure that they each died knowing that the other still felt that way and he wasn't having any of that. "Don't say that like that; like it's the last time you are ever going to say that to me." He shouted. "I swear that you will tell me that you love me again and I will tell you a million times more than that. I've just managed to say it and I refuse to stop." He said trying to ensure that she understood that he was determined to get them out of this. "We're going to survive this."

Almost as soon as he finished talking, he felt the intense vibration; he felt it, and he saw it. The nose of the plane had been struck by lightning. "We have to jump now!" He screamed as the plane went out of control. He was trying to pull her towards the emergency exit. If they didn't jump now, they weren't going to make it.

"Tell me you love me." She he heard her shout over the wail of the storm. "I need to hear it before I jump."

It wasn't that he wasn't scared; he just knew that he had to be the strong one right now. He flipped his head around to face Blair once more; he looked deep into her eyes. "I love you. Always have, always will. Now on the count of three. One . . . Two . . ."

He never got to three, as the plane, with had been speeding towards the water, accelerated and hit an air pocket; resulting in them each flying in separate directions. He reached out to try to grab onto her, to pull her with him, but her fingers fell through his grasp and he was flying out the emergency exit. "NOOOOOO!" He screamed as he saw her slam against the wall as he fell from the plane.

The water stung as his back slammed into it and he watched as the plane continued not only it's decent but it's forward motion. He tried to follow it, tried to swim towards it, but in the raging storm, he lost sight of it.

Chuck snapped awake, shooting up in his bed. The sweat was dripping off his body and he knew he had been screaming. What the hell was that? That wasn't normal, that wasn't how his dreams ended. In his dreams he saved her, every time he saved her.

He looked over at the clock, it three am. Damn it, he wasn't getting back to sleep tonight. So he got up and poured himself a glass of scotch before taking a seat on the couch. The dream had felt so damn real, but why? Why hadn't his fingers grabbed onto hers like they normally did in his dreams, why had she died this time? What changed?

* * *

Anna crept down the hall, cursing herself for not even thinking to put on shoes. As soon as she had awakened from her dream, she left the room, it hadn't been any better tonight than it had been the night before and she didn't know what was causing the increased intensity of the dream that she could only assume was actually a memory.

As she walked, she remembered the conversation that she had had with Cassie that morning.

_"Where have you been, Anna?" She head Cassie ask as she tried to quietly open the door to her room. She had been hoping that Cassie was still asleep yet was unsurprised to find her friend sitting up in bed. _

_She sighed. "I went to try to find out who lived in room 1812." She knew better than to try to hide things from Cassie; the Hispanic girl always had a way of finding them out on her own. _

_"And . . ." Cassie asked, crossing her arms over her chest. She knew from the look on Anna's face that there was more. _

_"And the front desk wouldn't tell me." She said, walking over to the dresser._

_Cassie shook her head, she wasn't dropping it, no matter how much Anna wanted her to. "So . . ." _

_Anna turned around and faced the bed once more. Cassie never would just take a hint and drop the subject; which she supposed was usually a good thing. It was just that she didn't exactly feel like discussing what had just happened. It had been so disappointing. "So, I went and knocked on the door."_

_Cassie's eyebrows shot up. Anna was spontaneous sure, but this was more something that she expected from Sam rather than Anna. "Did anyone answer?" She asked her voice hesitant. _

_Anna bit her lip and nodded her head. Before Cassie could give another one word prompting, she gave in and divulged the story. After a several minutes she concluded with, "So yeah, his name's Chuck but I am no closer to knowing who I was before the accident, than I was an hour ago."_

_"You don't know that." Cassie said after a few measured breaths. "How do you know that you aren't the girl that Chuck thought you were? You could be this Blair?" _

_At that Anna scoffed. "Please, Cassie, so I look like a girl that some people up here know, emphasis on the know. No one I've talked to has told me that this Blair is dead. In fact they all say, 'You look like someone I know.' Not knew, know. I can't be someone who is still alive and around."  
_

_Cassie nodded before her eyes suddenly lit up. She reached over beside the bed and pulled out her laptop. "Here, at least google it. See if there is a girl named Blair, from New York City, that went missing two years ago."_

_"I don't even have a last name for the girl." Anna said as she reluctantly took the computer. _

_"It doesn't mean that you can't try." Cassie said resolutely. "You should also google Chuck Bass and Jenny Humphrey, see if they come up with anything." _

_Anna nodded and started the search. She couldn't find anything on a Blair from New York City except a graduation bulletin from a local private school. The website had a block on it so she couldn't access it further and only the first name was listed in the google blurb. She didn't recognize any of the other names though. So eventually she moved on to look up Chuck and Jenny. _

_Everything on Jenny was basically as she had heard before. Her eyes skimmed over the words on the girl's Wikipedia page. Young up and coming designer, worked for Eleanor Waldorf. Had briefly started her own company when she was fifteen years old, with a Gorilla Fashion show at the Palace Hotel that had garnered a lot of press but nothing ever came out of it. Graduated from Constance Billiard this year. Anna's eyes backtracked and she re-read the statement. Constance Billiard was the same private school that the girl Blair had graduated from. "I think I found something." Anna called out to Cassie, who had ventured over into her own room to get ready, but had left the door open. _

_"What is it?" She called out as she pulled a t-shirt over her head. _

_"The girl Jenny that I met at Socialista went to high school with a girl named Blair at Constance Billiard private school on the Upper East Side of New York. Blair is two years older than us though. We are Jenny's age." Anna answered._

_Cassie rolled her eyes as she walked into the room. "So most likely we found the Blair that they know; but don't think that the age means anything Anna. I may be Jenny's age but we don't know how old you are." _

_"True." Anna answered before moving back to the laptop to search Chuck. She typed his name into Google and pressed enter. "Oh my God Cass, come look at this." She said as the screen loaded. _

_Cassie walked over and looked at the screen. "Whoa, there's billions of search results. Who is this guy?" _

_Anna smirked. "Let's find out shall we?" She said clicking on yet another Wikipedia page. What was it with these kids that they deserved to have their own Wikipages? Her eyes rapidly moved throughout the article, picking out phrases such as 'richest kid in the country,' 'CEO of Bass Industries,' 'son of the late Bart Bass,' and 'known to associate with socialite Serena van der Woodsen and future political hotshot Nathaniel Archibald.' Both of those names sounded familiar to her and had their own Wikipedia pages as well, but she stayed on Chuck's for the time being and kept reading. 'Step-sibling of fashion designer Jenny Humphrey,' 'known playboy,' 'graduated from St. Jude's private school in 2009.' Anna's eyes were skipping all over the page but they stopped when Cassie pointed her finger. _

_"Look at this Anna." Cassie said her voice tentative._

_Anna looked at the words on the screen, not thinking that they could possibly be connected to the man that she had met earlier that morning. 'Reportedly attempted suicide, July 2010.' "Wow." Anna said softly as she looked away from Cassie's probing gaze. _

_Cassie didn't want to push it, she really didn't but she couldn't help herself. "Sounds like you guys have some stuff in common." She said, reaching out and placing a hand on Anna's shoulder. _

_Anna's head flipped back around, her eyes fiery. How dare Cassie go there? She clicked exit on the webpage and stood up from the bed. "This conversation is over." She spoke, her voice commanding and icy. _

_"Anna don't do this." Cassie said softly, standing to her feet. "You know I didn't mean anything by it." _

_Anna stood there for a second, looking into her friend's honest eyes, breathing heavily; before finally releasing her breath. "I know." She said quietly. _

_Cassie pulled her into a hug. "Everything is going to be okay. I told you, we'll figure this out." As Anna calmed down in her arms she added. "Now why don't you tell me why you are so disappointed about Chuck?" _

_With that they both sat down on the bed and Anna started talking. It was clear that talking was something that she desperately needed to do to sort out her feelings. "I wanted him to be the guy from the dream." She said almost shyly. _

_Cassie nodded, after all that was the response that she was expecting. Of course that's what Anna wanted. _

_"I just wanted to look at him and know who he was and for him to know me. I wanted him to tell me who I was and I wanted to remember everything." By this time, slow tears were falling down her checks. "I am so tired of feeling incomplete and empty. But all I felt was a strong attraction to him. Almost like I wanted to jump his bones or something." Anna said smiling through her tears. _

_"Getting your memory back is going to take time Anna. Even if you do encounter someone from your past, it doesn't mean that you'll instantly remember." Then she thought that she needed to lighten the mood a little. "But if Chuck Bass was so attractive that you wanted to jump his bones, then maybe I need to see this guy." Anna laughed as Cassie hugged her friend before pulling her to her feet. "Enough of all this sad business, we're going sightseeing today, which means lots of pictures. So fix your hair and makeup and let's get going. _

She didn't know what she was doing back outside room 1812. She had absolutely no intention of knocking on the door this time, but something inside her had driven her back here. What Cassie said resonated in her mind. Even if she did see someone that she knew, she might not know it. So instead of knocking she sat down on the ground outside of the suite door. She wasn't getting any sleep tonight either way, so she might as well be somewhere that she felt like maybe was connected to her past. After all, maybe she could be a cousin or something to this Blair girl, since looks did tend to run in families; maybe someone would eventually tell her who she was. And with that the tears began anew.

* * *

Chuck looked over at the now empty fifth of 80 malt scotch. That had been a bad idea, a bad idea that he was already beginning to regret. Now she was swimming in his head again; swimming in water that didn't belong. He felt like he was drowning in the water, drowning in her. This was dangerous territory. The drowning always made him feel like hurting himself again, just to make it stop and he asked himself once more, why didn't he save her in his dream tonight?

_**I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears**_

That's when he heard the taunting voice in his head, sounding so much like her real voice that he couldn't get a grip on reality for a moment. "You didn't save me tonight because in reality you didn't save me." He flinched and clutched the glass in his hand, it wasn't real; she wasn't real. He had to keep telling himself that, keep reminding himself.

But even that knowledge didn't stop him from responding to the voice. "But I did save you. Not when it mattered of course, but every night after that, I saved you." He paused for a moment before adding sullenly. "That is until tonight."

_**And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave**_

He heard laughter, her laughter. "Just because in your dreams you can make things the way you want them to be, doesn't mean anything. You were too weak to save me then Chuck; you still are."

Chuck knew that he was talking to himself. The voices inside his head were his and his alone. They simply took the form of Blair to inflict the most pain. It was a pain that he couldn't quite handle, he thought as he took another sip of scotch, finding his glass empty as well.

_**'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone**_

"I'm not weak. You were supposed to be the weak one, remember." He said referencing the Gossip Girl blast of so long ago.

"Oh yes, that's right isn't it, I'm the weak one." The voice replied sarcastically. "You're just the coward. That's so much better isn't it?"

It was taunting him and he knew it. The voice in his head was the one that made him think he was going insane. Maybe he was insane, he didn't know. He supposed he actually was. Sane people didn't talk to themselves right? "Why won't you leave me alone?" He shouted.

_**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

But the voice didn't answer his question; it kept on with its twisted agenda. "Maybe that's why you couldn't save me. Maybe you were too much of a coward, maybe you were too scared to risk your own life to save mine." The voice taunted.

"You're wrong." He said his voice guttural. He knew that it was mocking him; that it wanted him angry and it was working. He could feel the blood pumping in his veins and he flung the glass in his hand against the doorway. "You're wrong."

The voice dripped with venom now. "I'm not wrong. You were too scared, just like before. And now I'm back here inside your head again."

With that he flashed back to a time in which he was almost happy, a time in which he had the world on a string, he had Blair, he had the company; he had everything. It was the night that she had told him about her eating disorder. He could see her even now, curled up against him after they had just made love, his brain almost choked on that word now.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**_

_"Chuck I have to tell you something" Blair said as she raised her head from his chest. _

_"What is it?" Chuck asked in a soft voice, a little concerned. He began tracing circles on her back to soothe her. He could tell that she was stressed about something; that there was something that she felt the need to tell him. _

_Blair took a deep breath before speaking. "I have a little problem. Sometimes when I get too stressed or when I'm hurting about something, I throw up." Blair wasn't done but Chuck had sat them both up and was already holding her hand when she continued. "It's gotten a lot better. When I was with Nate junior year and during that stuff that spring, it flared up again. Now it's really rare but I just wanted you to know, because I trust you and I thought that well, I thought that I could tell you."_

_**I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me**_

_Chuck stroked Blair's hair as she spoke. Blair was telling him that she was bulimic. He had always known, he had observed her for so long and had always wondered how no one else had noticed. Not that she flaunted it or anything but it was like no one ever looked close enough to see. Which was probably the truth. No one ever saw Blair. Not like he did at least. That she was telling him was a huge deal but after all they had finally admitted how they felt. "Thank you, for telling me I mean. I know that that had to have been hard for you just then and I wanted you to know that no matter what I am always going to be here for you. I love you."_

_"I love you too." Blair said before leaning in to kiss Chuck._

_**You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light**_

_**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**_

Now he was practically hyperventilating again, he didn't want to be here, in this world where she didn't exist. "I said stop it!" He screamed. He couldn't think like that, if he did, he would do it again and if he had realized anything the past few days, it was that he had people in his life worth being alive for.

"No." The voice taunted once more.

Suddenly, it was as though he was swimming through time; to another reality once more. A reality that didn't exist any longer. He saw himself on the landing of the helipad handing her a box.

_"Another gift Chuck?" She asked, a smile in her voice as her delicate hands took the box from his._

_**Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams**_

_He smirked. "I know how much you adore gifts." He knew that this gift was the most special of all; that it was just the kind of romantic thing that Blair would adore. _

_She smiled up at him. "Yes, I adore them almost as much as you adore my stockings." She watched as he smirked and gave her a look that meant touché. She continued opening the box, removing the delicate paper and looking inside. She gasped when she saw the heart shaped locket. It was fairly large and it was absolutely beautiful. Intricate carvings and diamonds adorning the front. She ran her fingers along the side, trying to find the latch before finally giving up. She looked up at Chuck, still beaming. "How do I open it?"_

_Chuck gave her the smile that only she ever got to see; the real one. "You don't. I do." He said reaching over and flipping the locket._

_**Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me**_

_Blair noticed a strangely shaped hole in the back and looked at him, confused but with a smile still illuminating her already beautiful features. "You have a key to it don't you." _

_Chuck nodded, still smiling himself. _

_"But you're not going to open it right now." She said as more of a statement than a question. If Chuck was going to open it, he would have done so already instead of just telling her about it. _

_Once more he nodded. "One day, I'll open it though. One day."_

_**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

He was back in the present again, fingering the key around his neck; the key to the locket that was gone forever, gone with Blair. He needed a drink, badly.

Chuck stalked over to his closet and flung the doors open. That's where he kept his scotch hidden now a days because Eric had taken to sneaking in and cleaning out his supply as of late.

As he stepped inside, something near the back caught his eye; his scarf. That scarf had been a permanent fixture in his wardrobe throughout high school, but he hadn't touched it in two years. It was the only thing that he had kept that he had been wearing during the accident and at that moment, he wanted nothing more than to start a fire and torch the damn thing.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**_

This time when he heard the voice, it almost sounded like it was coming from the scarf. "Aww, look at poor little Chuck, he's so lost and confused. Can't seem to figure out what he's supposed to do without Blair Waldorf. And now he's going to torch the one thing he has left of her."

With that Chuck dropped the hand that was reaching for a bottle of scotch and grabbed for the scarf instead. Once it was in his hand, he strode over to the electric fire place and turned it on. Then he spoke into the air. "This," He said as he shook the scarf in his fist, "Is not the last thing that I have of her. It is simply a reminder of how I lost her." The pain was eating him up inside, devouring him whole, her face was staring back at him from the fire; there wasn't a part of him that wasn't still hers.

_**I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me**_

"Then drop it into the flames." The voice said into his ear. "Then maybe the pain will stop, it could all go away. Drop it."

He was about to do it, about to let go, when he remembered all of the progress that he had been making. He had been so much better. And yesterday morning, Chuck Bass had really been back. Why was he listening to this voice right now? The voice that he knew was par to the insanity that was doing its best to take over once more.

_**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along**_

As the thought of yesterday morning entered his head, he slammed his fist holding the scarf against the wall and allowed the scarf to slip through his fingers and fall to the ground, safely away from the fire's flames. Annabelle. That's what had changed. Ever since he had encountered her the first time, Blair's voice had been back inside his head. How could he have been so stupid to think that he could be around someone that looked like Blair and not go insane?

Now she was back in his head. Back inside, worming her way around. The voice was growing stronger, but he refused to let it, refused to be distracted from reality. There was a girl, a girl who looked like Blair but wasn't. The voice was screaming at him now, causing him to cover his ears to try to block it out as he tried to make sense of what was going on. He could have Annabelle in his life. It wouldn't be as good, but it would be close. She would never be exactly like Blair, but she could keep him from going crazy. Yes it was wrong, but he really didn't care; not anymore. The voice in his head had stopped with this strange conclusion that he had come to.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**_

In the silence he relaxed, taking a seat on the floor. He was skeptical, where was the voice? Why had it stopped shouting at him? Had it achieved what it wanted all along? Did it just want him to go after Annabelle?

Then as though he summoned it with only his thoughts of the where it had gone, he heard the voice again. But this time the voice had a southern accent. "It was nice to meet you Chuck Bass." He flinched slightly and the voice came again. "See, I'm not gone, not really."

_**I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me**_

He closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall asleep in a heap on the floor, knowing in his heart that regardless of how long it had been, Blair Waldorf still had every piece of him.

Less than ten feet away. Just on the other side of Chuck's suite door. Lay a beautiful brunette that had somehow managed to doze off.

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A/N: Well there we go with the next chapter :) I know it's supper angsty but that is the way it is lol. More interaction with other people in the next chapter, I promise. Also, I'm adding a picture of the locket to my profile.**

**The song is My Immortal by Evanescence **

**Reviews are always appreciated :)**

**xoxo  
kate **


	6. Morning Meetings

**A/N: Exam week felt like it took forever, then I developed an awful case of writers block. The writer's block isn't quite gone so I'm sorry if this isn't my best. Hope you all enjoy the update. Just a little reminder Eric is 18 now (not really a kid anymore) **

**To my reviewers: **Thanks for being so awesome, I love you guys and I'm very glad that my last chapter cleared some stuff up :)

Thanks to all my reviewers:** illusion100, sugarfusion, GossipGirlFanForever, abelard, L, moccamary, kaypie, Emerald2564, annablake, decemberellia, BrittyKay247, CarolinaGirl21, LC-LOVES-CB, rainbowbutterflie, riclynshea, dewimadrim, **and **LitPrincess2787.**

It's because of you guys and your inspiration that I manage to keep writing so much.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

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Eric had a smile on his face as he stepped into the elevator. He and Chuck had breakfast plans and Eric couldn't be happier. He had barely had Chuck as a brother before everything went to hell in a hand basket. They hadn't even been step siblings for a year when Bart died. He had fought so hard to keep Chuck as a brother then and it seemed as like everything was working out. Lily adopted Chuck, Chuck was with Blair, Lily and Rufus were getting married; Eric remembered thinking that for once everything was perfect. He remembered standing in the doorway to their apartment, looking out over all of his "family," Lily, Chuck, Blair, Jenny, Dan, Nate and Rufus at Chuck and Blair's goodbye party. Serena had been the only one absent as she was off traipsing around Europe with none other than Carter Baizen.

Maybe it was his fault that everything had gone so wrong, because he had had the conscious thought that everything was perfect, in that moment. That everyone was going to be happy. He was a guy, they weren't supposed to believe in fairy tales; yet he had been thinking that they had all gotten their happy ending after all.

He chased the thoughts from his head. He was being ridiculous. Of course it wasn't his fault that Chuck and Blair's plane had crashed in that awful storm. He didn't conjure up the most terrifying disaster in recent years by simply thinking that for once their lives were perfect. But cause of the destruction or not, he had had to deal with the aftermath.

Everyone totally lost it. Serena knew but refused to come home, Nate became perpetually stoned, and Chuck became the most motivated guy in the world. Eric had been sure that Chuck would tear up the very ground beneath them, if he had thought that Blair lay trapped beneath. Chuck went head to head with Eleanor Waldorf, he wanted Blair's name and faced plastered on the cover of every newspaper in the country until she turned up; whilst Eleanor seemingly wanted to forget that she even had a daughter to begin with. Nothing was to appear in any paper, on her orders. If it had been up to Eleanor, there would have been a funeral strait away and it would have been done with; but Harold had held out hope that Chuck's efforts would succeed and his little princess would be found alive. While respecting Eleanor's wishes not to make a spectacle, Chuck poured money and resources into a search to find her; he, himself, traveling city by city along the Gulf of Mexico. Chuck refused to believe she was dead.

Eric could still remember the day it happened; the day that Chuck Bass came back to the Upper East Side, without Blair.

_"You're home." Eric said, rushing forward and wrapping his arms around his prodigal brother. Noticing immediately that Chuck didn't respond to the hug. His body felt broken. _

_At first Chuck didn't reply. He didn't know what to say. He had been gone for months, looking everywhere, searching for her. Every search, coming up completely empty. He didn't know what else to do. He didn't have anywhere else to go. So he came back here, back to those he called his family. "Yeah." He finally replied, his tone dark, holding inside all that he was feeling. The last time that he had been in this room, Blair had been with him. _

_Eric released his brother from his tight embrace and looked up at his face. "I miss her too. She was as much a sister to me as Serena." Until that point he had thought that Chuck had come home because he had accepted that he wasn't going to find Blair, that there was likely nothing left to be found; but then Chuck snapped.  
_

_"Don't talk about her like she's dead." Chuck spat, taking a look at his brother's now incredulous face. "She's not dead; I just haven't found her yet." He reasoned. _

_"Chuck . . ." Eric began._

_Yet Chuck interrupted, eyes flashing with anger. He wasn't hearing any of this. "She's not."_

That had been the last time that Eric had discussed Blair's death with Chuck until Chuck called him a few days ago. He had always been careful to never refer to her in the past tense if he had to talk about her and if he could avoid the topic altogether he would. Chuck had poured himself into working, claiming that when Blair came back he would be successful; he would actually deserve her. Other than his abject denial of Blair's death, Chuck had seemed to be improving. Then on the one year anniversary of the storm, they declared all those not recovered, dead and Chuck absolutely lost it. He hid himself away, not talking to anyone and then he tried to kill himself.

Thinking back now, Eric thought that there should have been a funeral for Blair after the declaration but with the craziness surrounding Chuck's suicide attempt and the length of time that had passed; it seemed that any idea of a funeral had been brushed under the table. Even today Eric ran into Andy Clark, who had graduated with Chuck and Blair, and Andy had asked about Blair. There were still people who didn't even know; they simply hadn't seen her since graduation and assumed that she was absolutely fine; especially those who quit reading Gossip Girl after high school. That was another surprise in and of itself. Gossip Girl had remained astoundingly mum about the whole topic. Her last post about Blair had been that she and Chuck had reportedly been in a plane accident but that everything was fine. No one knew why she covered it up the way she did but nothing had popped up about Blair since. It seemed as though her death happened at the one time in life that people were the least likely to notice; when everyone was transitioning between high school and college it wasn't uncommon for friendships to disintegrate or people to fall of the radar, but Blair Waldorf, no way. It was strange that as integral a part of Upper East Side life as Blair had been that she had left it all so quietly. Something that Eric was sure would not have been the case had there been any kind of formal announcement.

But now everything was looking up again. Chuck was doing better, finally. Maybe he would give that girl he had being seeing a shot. She was nice enough, even if Chuck had just been dating her because the company thought he needed to give off a stable public image. Eric had an idea that Chuck did feel something for her; not what he had felt for Blair, but something.

He was almost to Chuck's door when he noticed something at the end of the hallway. As he stepped closer he realized that it wasn't something, but someone on floor, seemingly asleep. His first thought was that Chuck had had a girl over and kicked her out but she was too drunk to make it any farther. But as he approached the lightly snoring figure and saw her all too familiar face, his stomach began doing somersaults. _Shit she did look exactly like Blair Waldorf. _

He walked up softly, a million thoughts running through his head all at once. _Should he wake her? Had Chuck seen her? No way Chuck knew that she was sleeping outside his door. More than that, what was she doing sleeping outside of Chuck's door?_

At that last thought he bent down and lightly touched her shoulder; moving his head until his face was in front of her own. He had to wake her before Chuck saw her and more than that he had a need to know what was going on.

Anna resisted Cassie's tug on her shoulder, moaning slightly and trying to squirm away from the other girl. She didn't want to wake up yet. As she wiggled she winced a little. _Why was she so sore and achy? _She felt like she had been sleeping on the floor. Gradually as the gentle tugging on her shoulder didn't stop, she began to regain her senses. She was sitting against something hard; definitely not in a bed. She felt carpet under her fingertips as they brushed the floor. She HAD been sleeping on the floor and she was still there, against a wall. Dear God, she had fallen asleep outside of room 1812. Suddenly her eyes popped open, only to see a young man, probably about her age staring at her.

When the girl's eyes first opened Eric's first thought was that she looked alarmed. He tried his best to keep his face neutral. The last thing that the look-a-like needed was another person looking at her like she was a ghost, he already knew that Jenny had seen her and from where he had found her it was a possibility that Chuck had as well. "Hey, can I help you get somewhere?" He asked softly, sure to keep his voice steady. He couldn't let the girl's image fool him, this girl wasn't Blair.

"Oh, um, no." She said quickly scampering to her feet. "I am so embarrassed." Annabelle exclaimed as she began fixing her appearance in a mirror at the end of the hallway. What must this guy think of her, sleeping outside of a suite door? This looked absolutely awful and she knew it. If she found someone asleep in the hallway of the nicest hotel in Manhattan she would think that they were insane. Oh my God, this guy must think that she was crazy! She flipped around to face him, a bemused expression on his face. "I'm not insane, I swear."

Eric almost laughed aloud; but managed to withhold it, knowing that there was no telling how many people she had run into by now that told her that she looked like a dead girl. So he didn't laugh and he didn't let himself look at her as though she was Blair; he just looked at her like she was a normal person and asked what he would have asked any girl that he found asleep outside of Chuck's suite door. "Does Chuck know you're here?"

"You know Chuck?" Anna asked confused at first; did everyone know Chuck? But then understanding dawned on her, she was after all asleep outside Chuck's door. It actually made quite a bit of sense that whoever found her would know Chuck. So she spoke quickly. "Of course you know Chuck; this is his room after all."

Eric nodded. "He's my brother actually." He supplied, hoping to make the girl a little less uncomfortable. Noting that she never had answered his question as to whether or not Chuck knew that she had spent the night out here.

"Oh." Anna said softly. Then she saw it. The boy must have let his guard down for a moment because she caught the glimmer of recognition in his eyes, whether it was at her movement or her looks; he knew this Blair girl as well. Which followed since whoever Blair was knew his siblings. "So what's Blair to you? I can see that you know her by the look in your eyes that you've been trying to hide since you first saw me." She asked, cutting through all of the red tape and getting strait to the point.

Eric was caught off guard; that had not been what he was expecting. This girl was sharp; the only other people that he had ever known that quick to pick up on something were Chuck and Blair. So he answered her honestly. "My sister's best friend. And a second sister to me."

Once more Anna began piecing the pieces of the puzzle together, if Eric was Chuck's brother and Jenny was Chuck's sister, then that made Jenny Eric's sister too, so this Blair that she looked so much like must be Jenny's best friend. That explained a lot. "That's right Jenny is your sister."

Eric's face immediately formed a mask of complete confusion. Where had Jenny come into this? That's when he remembered, the girl met Jenny before she met any of them. Eric felt the need to correct her, a need he couldn't explain. Why did it matter if the girl who happened to look like Blair knew that Blair's best friend was his sister Serena not his step sister Jenny? He wasn't sure but somewhere deep within him was an urge to set the record straight. "Actually, my sister Serena."

"Serena Van der Woodsen?" Anna asked intrigued. She remembered reading the name off Wikipedia the day before.

Eric was perplexed. "How did you know that?" He knew that he hadn't mentioned his last name, so there's no reason this girl would have known, because she wasn't Blair, right?

Anna immediately realized how strange that must have sounded. First, the guy found her asleep outside of his brother's room, then she asked him about a sister that he hadn't even told her about, and now she was recalling the last name of a girl she had never met. "I read it in a magazine somewhere." She covered, recalling that Serena was some sort of socialite.

"I see." Eric nodded. It wasn't _that_ abnormal for someone to recognize Serena; but at that he realized that he should have called attention to the fact that the girl had mentioned Jenny. It wouldn't follow for Eric to know about their meeting; unless Jenny had found it important enough to tell him, and knowing that would surely freak the girl out. "But wait, you know Jenny?"

Anna smiled realizing that the young man didn't actually think that she was crazy, just connected to his family members. "Yeah I met Jenny the other night at Socialista. She thought I looked like someone too. So she's another one of your siblings?"

"Yeah." Eric said nodding. This girl must think that their whole family was insane. She kept running into them and they kept accusing her of being someone else.

"Goodness, how many siblings do you guys have?" Anna spoke, before she could stop herself. That happened sometimes when she wasn't thinking about it. She never had anyone criticize her about anything that she said before, so occasionally words just spilled out.

Eric couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't necessarily that he was laughing at the bluntness or humor of the comment; he was laughing because this girl who looked like Blair Waldorf had just said the word 'goodness.' "Well that's kind of complicated. My mom married Bart bass and when he died, she adopted his only son Chuck, whom you've met. After which she married Rufus Humphrey who has two children Dan, who's Chuck's age, and Jenny who's my age. Then come to find out Rufus and my mom had a kid twenty years ago named Scott and he's been around for the past couple of years too. So with the exception of my half brother Scott there's simply my sister Serena who's also Chuck's age, and me, Eric Van der Woodsen."

Anna had to withhold a look of incredulity at his tale of many siblings. That was a lot of children from a lot of different parents to call them all siblings. But the boy had been nice to her and didn't think she was insane so she took his story for what it was and continued. "Well Eric Van der Woodsen it's nice to meet you. I'm Annabelle Carmichael-Getty, but my friends all call me Anna."

"Well Anna," Eric said with a wink, calling attention to the fact that he was naming her as a friend. "You never did tell me if Chuck knew that you are here."

Anna looked away and her cheeks colored slightly in embarrassment. After regaining her composure she looked back."Here in this hotel yes; outside his door, not so much."

Eric smiled a smile that was slightly nervous in nature. "So what exactly were you doing out here asleep?"

"I'm not entirely sure." Anna said softly. "I had a bad dream and then I remember leaving my own room down the hall and walking here, where I fell asleep outside Chuck's door. I know it's weird, you don't have to tell me that." Anna said as she looked at Eric's slightly alarmed face. "It's just as weird as me knocking on Chuck's door yesterday morning." She noticed as Eric's eyes widened further at the news of how she had introduced herself to Chuck. "I don't know why I did it. Maybe I am crazy. That would explain a lot." She added as her voice faded off slightly.

Eric realized immediately that the girl was confused and needed reassuring. Whatever she was going through must be difficult if she found herself sleeping outside of a stranger's bedroom or if not a stranger, someone she just met. "Don't worry I don't think you're crazy."

Anna smiled at him and he spoke once more. "Now did you need to talk to Chuck _or_ would you like to sneak away before he finds you out here?" All the while Eric was thinking; please let her say that she didn't want to see Chuck because he didn't know how Chuck would handle that.

"The second one, definitely the second one." She said with a relieved look on her face. Eric was turning out to be a good friend already.

Eric nodded "In that case, would you like me to escort you back to your room?" Eric asked chivalrously as he extended his arm to her.

"That would be wonderful." She said with a smile, taking his arm. "You know you're a pretty good guy, Eric Van der Woodsen."

He smiled, even with the slight southern accent, Anna reminded him so much of Blair that he had to consider his words before he spoke, making sure that he was always talking to Anna, not Blair. "You know, I get that a lot." He said a smile in his voice.

Anna couldn't resist and she reached over and tousled his hair. "You, are adorable."

Eric laughed and once more had to resist the urge to think of her as Blair, because the action was so very Blair that it killed him. "I get that a lot to." He added with a smile in her direction. Maybe having Anna as a part of their lives wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. She was like Blair on Prozac.

As they walked off, they were still joking around. So much so that neither of them paid attention as they turned the corner and ran straight into Diego.

Diego stumbled backwards a step. "Whoa, why don't you guys watch where you're go-- Oh Anna." He said his voice softening as he recognized the girl in front of him as the only girl he ever thought about.

"Diego, hey. I'm sorry, we were just caught up in our chatter; we weren't paying attention. Forgive us." She said, turning on the look that she always gave to get herself out of trouble, even though she knew that with Diego, she never really needed to use that look.

Diego's face became slightly devilish as he turned on his charm. "For you, anything." The air became heated as his gaze locked with hers.

Anna smiled knowingly as the tension between them began to build before she remembered that they were not alone. And just like that she snapped out of the hold that Diego seemed to have on her. "I'm so sorry; I seem to have forgotten my manners." She said turning towards Eric. "Eric, meet Diego Gutierrez, we went to high school together and we are both starting at Columbia in just over a week. Diego meet Eric Van der Woodsen, a new friend of mine."

Diego raised his eyebrows at her explanation of who he was to her. If that was the way she wanted to play it; that was fine. Unfortunately he didn't have time for games this morning as fun as they were, he had a meeting with his brother that he couldn't miss. "As nice as it was to meet you Eric, I'm afraid I have a prior engagement."

Eric nodded understandingly and Diego faced Anna. "And Anna, I'll see you tonight."

Anna nodded as well, a blush coloring her features. "Tonight."

After Diego had walked away, Eric turned to face Anna. This was an interesting development; Anna had a boyfriend of sorts. Or at very least she had a guy who was very interested in her; but from the look in her eyes as he studied her now, he would have to assume that the feelings were somewhat mutual. "So, he's cute." Eric said with a wink.

Anna waved her hand in the air. "Oh, Diego, I guess." She tried her best to be nonchalant. Sure she had agreed to a date with him this evening but that didn't mean that she had to start acting like he was her boyfriend or anything, did she?

Eric smiled knowingly. "I know that look. You like him." With a glance down the hall where Diego was still standing by the elevator. "And I can see why."

"Diego is complicated." She said with a sigh.

Eric looked at Anna, sensing that there was more, a lot more. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Anna smiled. It could be nice to have someone to confide in about what she was feeling for Diego. Cassie was great when it came to the memory stuff, but she absolutely hated Diego. Sam and Lina on the other hand would probably tell her to go for it but they never could keep their mouths shut about anything; plus knowing Sam, she would go after him herself if she was given half the chance. Everyone knew that Sam had always had a thing for Diego, something he had never returned. So Sam was out of the question to. Lina was another thing all together, while Anna never had to worry about her going after Diego, she also knew that while Lina was good to bounce ideas off of; she wouldn't get any sort of help from her. Eric on the other hand could be perfect for the job, so instead of doing what she normally did and changing the subject, she opened up a little. "It's just that, Diego's not the kind of guy that I should be with."

Eric had to withhold a smirk, this sounded familiar. "Why?" He asked instead of supplying what he suspected was the truth.

Anna didn't know what it was about Eric, but something made her think that she could trust him. "First of all, I sort of have a boyfriend. Or at least I'm supposed to. He's gone to school in Florida to play football and if I had to guess I would say that I'll never see him again. We didn't leave things well. That's just the start of things and no one knows any of this because there's never been anyone that I could tell."

Eric could tell that this was going to take some time; but strangely it was time that he was willing to give. "I live upstairs, do you think maybe that you would want to go and talk over breakfast?"

Anna smiled. "That would be wonderful. I really need a shower though and I should probably change out of my night clothes and into something a little less comfortable."

"Sure, it's one of the mini penthouses, suite 2400. Just knock." Eric said as Anna disappeared into her room. He meant to head towards the stairs but instead he turned and went to Chuck's suite, rapping on the door before he could regret it. When there was no answer, he slammed his hand against the door a couple of times. "Wake up Chuck, or if you're awake and just being an ass, open the door."

Five seconds later, a groggy hung-over looking Chuck appeared before him. "What did I do this time?" He asked, opening the door to allow his brother inside.

Eric could tell that Chuck was hung-over the second he saw him and felt a little bad for being so demanding but then he remembered just who he had found outside of Chuck's door. "You talked to Anna."

The sound of her name sobered Chuck up as quickly as a bucket of ice. "How did you know?" Too stunned to try to cover.

"I ran into her this morning and after talking to her for a bit I discovered that I was the third of Blair's friends to 'welcome' her to New York City." Eric said, leaving out exactly where he had encountered her.

Chuck at first felt a little guilty, especially knowing that he had every intention of getting to know her further; then he realized that Eric had just revealed that he had spoken to her too. "Wait a second; you can't berate me for talking to her when you clearly did the same thing. So did Jenny, which by the way I know you knew about."

This time it was Eric's turn to look guilty. Everything Chuck had just said was true and even though he had been looking out for Chuck he knew that Chuck didn't see keeping Anna from him like that. "So I guess that makes me a little bit of a hypocrite doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does." Chuck said as he walked to the bar to fix his famous hangover cure.

Eric nodded. "I was wrong to try to keep you away from Anna and then to do the opposite myself. I get the appeal, it's so strong. She looks and acts so much like Blair that it's scary."

"Talks like her too, if you forget about the accent." Chuck said taking a gulp of the revolting concoction he had prepared. "The only thing that's different is that Annabelle is . . ."

"Nicer." Eric supplied with a shared smile with his brother. "I noticed too."

"I was going to say happier but yeah that too." Chuck dipped his head as he downed the rest of his miracle cure. "I know I shouldn't be around her; it can't be good for me."

"But you can't stay away." Eric supplemented once more. Chuck looked at him appreciatively. "Like I said before, I get it. She's making herself hard to ignore anyway so maybe it's best if we just embrace it." Eric said almost to himself.

Chuck's eyes widened. That had been the last thing that he was expecting Eric to say. Never in a million years would he think that the sage one of the group would condone an association with Annabelle. "But . . ." Chuck began.

"But nothing." Eric said with a smile on his face as he moved to the bed and flopped down. "We liked Blair, Anna is a lot like Blair; therefore we like Anna. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that." Eric reasoned. "As long as we know that Anna isn't Blair, she's her own person." He said to Chuck, shooting him a look that clearly meant by we I mean you.

Chuck nodded. "Of course." He was trying to hold back his elation at the fact that Eric was supporting his friendship with Anna. "Now how are we going to broach the subject with Serena?" He ventured.

Suddenly, Eric shot up from where he was laying. "SERENA!" He shouted, jumping up.

"Yes, Serena, our sister." Chuck said, not understanding Eric's sudden outburst.

"No, Serena's in my apartment. I forgot." Eric said moving towards the door.

Chuck tilted his head slightly beginning to catch on. He had a feeling that Eric was hiding something. "Eric, tell me."

Eric sighed. "I told Anna to meet me upstairs for breakfast but then I came here instead of going there and if Anna gets there first then . . ."

"She's going to run into Serena." Chuck said looking away. He fought not to be angry with Eric for making breakfast plans with Annabelle.

Eric took a step towards his brother. "Look, you have every right to be pissed at me but right now I need to take care of this before everything goes haywire. I'll see you in a little while, we'll have lunch." Eric called as he ran out of the room, hoping against hope that he could catch her before she got upstairs.

Chuck relaxed his shoulders. He didn't want to be mad at Eric. He hadn't really done anything wrong; he had loved Blair too. With that Chuck picked up the phone and called his favorite flower company. "Hello, yes this is Chuck Bass. I need a vase of fuchsia peonies sent up to suite 1814 at the Palace . . . "As he finished his call and hung up the phone he couldn't help but be glad that he had called the front desk inquiring what room Annabelle was staying in. Yes, sometimes it was nice to be the owner of the hotel.

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Anna knocked on the door, excited for breakfast with her knew friend. But was confused when she heard a different distinctly female voice call from inside. "One second."

As the door swung open Serena felt like she was going to collapse and gripped the door knob until her knuckles turned white. "Blair?" She gasped at the girl standing before her. This wasn't possible; damn it she was going crazy too. It must be in the water.

"Actually, it's Anna." She said stepping through the wide open doorway and into the large apartment. "Serena, I presume?" She said facing the blonde bombshell.

When the girl only nodded eyes still as wide as flying saucers, Anna spoke again. "I'm supposed to be meeting Eric, is he here?" She placed a hand on her hip and tilted her head, having no idea that as she did she was placing herself into a pose so Blair that it caused Serena to collapse onto the floor.

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A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay loves. **

**Reviews are always appreciated. **

**xoxo **

**kate **


	7. She's Not the Girl, He's Not the Guy

ETA: I am so sorry for the original state in which these chapters were posted guys. I fixed everything now.

**A/N: Here's the next chapter guys. I'm glad I was able to update quicker. Also I did manage to do a giant outline for this story so the writing should be coming a little quicker. However, as I've said before, I would ideally like to finish up a couple of my stories before I head into the year. Enjoy.**

Thanks to my reviewers: **chucklover, Natalie, odyjha, illusion100, sugarfusion, L, flipped, christeena, decemberellia, BrittyKay247, rose, ggfanfic-fan, abelard, moccamary, thebleedingrose, Chris2035, pisaniel, cavanaugh-girl, rainbowbutterflie, talli.b, annablake, chelle2911, CarolinaGirl21, LC-LOVES-CB, **and** LitPrincess2787.**

your reviews are the best motivation that I could ever ask for. *hugs*

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

* * *

As Serena opened her eyes she couldn't believe the sight before her. Her best friend was leaning over her, a concerned look on her face. There was only one problem with this; her best friend was dead. Did that mean that she was dead? How had she died?

"Are you okay?" Anna asked softly. Seeing that Serena was coming to. She felt bad about being so direct earlier. That sort of attitude was second nature to her but she always forgot that most people didn't expect that from a sweet southern girl. "I'm sorry if I was a little blunt earlier. I know that it must have been weird for you to see someone you recognize and have them tell you that they weren't."

As Blair spoke she transformed before Serena's blurry eyes, from her best friend with long brunette locks and ruby red lips, to a tanned girl who clearly favored a more natural look with sun-kissed shoulder length hair. But it still looked like Blair. "Are you sure?" Serena asked before she could stop herself. She really was starting to think that perhaps she had died. That's the only way that Blair could be standing in front of her. That's when she remembered, Chuck's look-a-like.

Anna's laugh rang throughout the apartment as she leaned back to balance on her heels, her knees on the ground. Serena sat up quickly, immediately noticing the difference. When Blair laughed it was one of the most beautiful sounds in the world, just like Blair practiced it to be. This girl's laugh on the other hand was something Blair's never was; true. It was carefree and the fear of expectation that Blair's always held was completely absent. At the sound, Serena began to study the girl in front of her. There were differences to be sure, a seemingly permanent lift to the corners of her mouth, a happiness that she had never seen in Blair's eyes, and a small scar right at her hairline. She probably wouldn't have noticed it at all if she still hadn't been so close to the girl; but Blair definitely didn't have a scar there.

"So you said that your name is Anna?" Serena asked a hesitant look on her face as she recalled what the girl had called herself. So maybe she wasn't dead, that was good.

Anna nodded. "Yes. I was actually here to meet Eric for breakfast. I wasn't expecting anyone else to be here. But Eric had mentioned an older sister named Serena so I assumed." She said evenly, knowing that she had freaked the older blonde girl out a little bit. Actually, it seemed that she had freaked her out a lot, if it was enough to make her pass out.

Serena narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "How do you know my brother?" She wanted this girl gone, immediately. She wasn't Blair. Serena didn't know what game Eric was playing at; this wasn't like him. This was more something that Chuck would do. Before Anna had time to answer, Serena jumped in again. "Did Chuck put you up to this?"

Anna tilted her head slightly. "Well no, but you did answer your first question with your second. I met Eric while I was . . . waiting outside of Chuck's room." Anna said finding the perfect word to describe just what it was that she was doing when she met Eric. After all, she was waiting, but she was really waiting for someone to tell her who she was, not for Chuck. In fact she would have been supremely embarrassed if Chuck had been the one to find her.

"And how did you meet Chuck?" Serena asked still not satisfied. She didn't like that her brothers were involving themselves with the Blair look-a-like. Didn't they realize that they couldn't just substitute Anna for their best friend?

"We ran into each other in the hallway." Anna said, beginning to feel a little offended. Of everyone she had met so far that knew this Blair girl, Serena was definitely the least welcoming. "I'm staying on the 18th floor with some of my friends for the week before I start at Columbia."

Just as Serena was contemplating how to get rid of her, Eric burst into the suite out of breath. "Damn it." He hissed under his breath as he saw the scene before him, clearly he had been too late. So Serena knew, now it was all about how she was going to handle it.

"Eric." Anna exclaimed, beaming as she rocked back on her heels and stood up. She was glad that the adorable blonde boy was here, his sister was quite rude.

"Hey Anna." He said, straightening up and giving her a small wave. Before nodding towards his sister. "Good morning, Serena."

Serena stood as well and glared at Eric. "Don't you good morning me you little rodent." Then she was moving towards him. "Out in the hallway. Now!"

Eric didn't hesitate to comply. He had told Nate what seemed like forever ago that the face that Serena was wearing right now was not your friend and he hadn't been lying. So with an apologetic look at Anna, he allowed Serena to pull him from the room. "Make yourself comfortable." He managed to call out before Serena slammed the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Eric?" Serena said soon as the door was shut. "None of us are blind, that girl looks exactly like Blair."

Eric knew that if he was ever going to convince Serena that it was okay for him to be friends with Anna; that the time was now. "Serena, really, yeah she looks like Blair, but she's not. I know that and believe it or not Chuck knows that too."

Serena rolled her eyes. "Then why is she here, in OUR apartment, meeting you for breakfast?" Serena asked crossing her arms over her chest. There was no explanation that Eric could give her that would make her think that getting to know this Anna girl was a good idea. Blair was dead, being around someone that looked like her was just wrong.

"Because she is new to the city, she's nice, and she's my friend." Eric said as he straightened his spine. He didn't even know why he had to explain himself to Serena in the first place. Hadn't they always said that he was the smartest sibling of them all; hadn't he gotten into Harvard? Of course he had. So why was it that Serena was choosing now to question his judgment? Eric of course knew the answer to his own question. Serena was questioning his judgment because this was Blair that they were talking about and the lines were always going to be blurry there.

Serena's eyes narrowed. "And I am supposed to believe that you and Chuck, what, met her by happenstance? No way, Eric." She was livid. How dare he bring this imposter into the apartment that they shared? He hadn't even warned her first, she had been completely blindsided by the fake-Blair.

"Believe it or not, Serena, it's true. Ask Anna if you don't believe me." Eric said gesturing towards the closed door. This was not going well in the slightest. He had hoped that it would be possible to reason with Serena, but she was clearly adamant that this girl was not going to be a part of their lives.

"I don't want to talk to her." Serena shouted something she rarely did towards her brother. "How do you not see that this is wrong Eric? It's beyond wrong, it's sick and twisted. She's not Blair, Blair's dead." She whispered the last two words; the tears that had formed behind her eyelids were threatening to fall.

Eric nodded. "I know that Serena; but I like Anna as a friend and she really needs a friend right now. So I am going to go inside and have breakfast with _my friend_ Anna." Eric was unable to keep the condescension out of his voice and a look of disdain appeared on Serena's face.

"Fine. But know now that I disagree with this and I fully intend on getting everyone together, so that they can tell you that this is a bad idea Eric." Serena said before whipping past him down the hallway. "And she better be gone when I get back."

"It's my apartment; I can have over whoever I want." Eric called almost as an afterthought. Because it was true, Serena had been staying with him.

Serena didn't even turn her head back, she just called. "Then maybe I'll get another room." She was a woman on a mission and it was one that wasn't going to wait.

As soon as Serena was gone, Eric opened up the door once more to see Anna sitting primly on the sofa. "Sorry about that, Serena can be a little crazy sometimes."

Anna turned her head and smiled an odd sort of smile, as though she was slightly uncertain about it. Truth be told, she was. Serena's reaction had offended her at first, but after that it had made her wonder, why exactly the other girl was so upset. Had she and Blair had some sort of fight or something? "It's okay." She said softly, before giving into temptation and adding. "Serena seemed upset."

Eric didn't know how to broach this subject with Anna. Did he tell her that Blair was dead or would that just freak her out? He made a split second decision and hoped he wouldn't regret it. "Yeah, Blair, the girl you look like." Eric said as Anna nodded. "She isn't around anymore and it makes Serena sad sometimes." He hopped that that would be enough of an explanation to satisfy Anna's curiosity.

Anna wasn't sure what to make of that information. What exactly did not around mean? Could it be possible that Blair was really the girl on the plane? "By not around you mean . . . moved away?" She asked.

"Yeah" Eric said before adding so low that Anna couldn't hear. "Something like that."

* * *

Serena knocked furiously on Chuck's suite door. "Open this door right now, Charles Bartholomew Bass." She called; irritated about everything that had been kept from her.

Chuck swung the door open the moment that he heard her use his full name. "Well hello darling sister, coming to yell at me as well?" He questioned as a smirk appeared on his features.

Serena's first thought was that he looked so much better than she had seen him since the crash but when she realized that that was likely because of Anna, she decided that that probably wasn't such a good thing. It wasn't healthy for any of them to treat Anna like Blair but especially for Chuck, the damage could be disastrous. "I sure hope that you have a better response for why the Blair imposter is currently in my living room than Eric did or else please tell me that you aren't really okay with this."

Chuck moved to allow Serena through the doorway but simply shook his head. "But I am."

Serena stormed into the room. "Chuck, don't you realize how bad for you this is. Anna isn't Blair, she's not. Blair's dead. You know it, Eric knows it, I know it, we all know it and the fact that there is a girl in Manhattan that looks like her changes nothing. Now is not the time for you and Eric to start acting like lunatics and befriending this girl."

Chuck shrugged and moved to lean up against the bar. After his talk with Eric this morning, he was practically floating on air. He would have thought that after last night, today was going to be a horrible day but then Eric stopped by and they talked and he felt as though his feelings had somehow been validated; he wasn't going to let Serena spoil that for him. "That's not the way that Eric and I see it."

"Then why don't you explain your rationale to me?" Serena snapped as she crossed her arms over her chest. Eric had been the one that she expected to be reasonable. She thought that she was going to need him on her side to convince Chuck but apparently Eric had flipped just by spending a little time with the fraud. So Chuck had been a long shot to begin with; but she had been hoping that after his recent revelations, he might be reasonable.

"Well, actually, I had already made the decision before Eric got here. Intuitively it seemed to be the right direction to go. It was Eric who put the feeling into words that actually made since." Chuck began before relaying Eric's idea. "We liked Blair right?" He asked.

Serena nodded. "Of course." Where was he going with this? That was the stupidest question anyone had ever asked her but she listened as he continued.

Chuck smirked. "And Anna is a lot like Blair; in both looks and in attitude if you didn't notice."

This time Serena was more begrudging with her nod, but it did come. She didn't say a word though as she waited on Chuck to finish.

"Therefore, we like Anna." Chuck said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Serena looked at him as though to say, 'Is that it?' So Chuck spoke once more. "You see it makes logical sense for us to like Anna and want to be around her. She has everything that we look for in a friend so why not? And as long as we don't try to use her as a replacement or forget that she isn't Blair, then we aren't doing anything sick and twisted as you seemed to believe that we are."

She didn't understand how Chuck could be so calm about all of this. Didn't he see how faulty that logic was? Couldn't he tell that it was an impossible feat to expect anyone of them not to look at Anna and think of Blair? "You can't do it Chuck." She said simply before adding. "None of us are capable of not looking at her and seeing our best friend. After everything we've been through, we can't handle that Chuck."

Chuck simply shook his head. "I think it's worth the risk."

"I'm not changing your mind, am I?" Serena asked exasperated.

"Nope." Chuck replied, smirk still firmly planted on his face.

And without another word, Serena was gone. She was angry at Chuck as well. Not as much as she had been at her younger brother, but angry none the less. That left only one person that she might bring over to her side of this argument, Nate. And with him it was usually whoever got to him first that was able to win him over, so she headed straight for his bachelor pad.

* * *

"So where were we?" Eric asked as he sat down on the couch next to Anna. The platter of freshly arrived room service sat in front of them basically untouched, so he leaned forward and put a bagel with cream cheese on his plate, along with some smoked salmon.

Anna smiled nervously. After her run in with Serena she was still a little tense. People never treated her like that; like they hated her. It was a new experience. But then she reminded herself that that was just one person, one person who disliked her for reasons completely out of her control. Eric was still here in front of her, wanting to be her friend, if she'd let him and she really wanted to let him. "I think I had just told you that my boyfriend and I had ended things poorly."

Eric nodded and took a bite of his bagel. "That sounds about right, do continue."

With a nod in agreement, Anna did as he suggested. "You see, Jackson, my boyfriend, thought that I was cheating on him and in a way he was right. You see we were 'meant' to be together, or at least that's what everyone said. He the golden boy football star, me the popular captain of the cheerleading squad."

At that Eric interrupted. "You were a cheerleader?" It was funny to him because he couldn't even begin to picture Blair as a cheerleader. She had danced for years and been quite good, no one knew why she quit; but to think of her as a cheerleader was a foreign concept. Then he reminded himself, Anna was not Blair.

"Yep." She said with a bright smile, she had loved cheerleading. It had been her time in the spotlight. She thought perhaps that she had been a cheerleader beforehand because she already seemed to have most of the skills, but she couldn't be certain. "But as you can see, it made sense for us to date."

Eric couldn't help but think that there was a striking parallel there between Anna and Jackson and Blair and Nate. The perfect girl and the golden boy, meant to be together, but he listened intently as she continued her story.

"Things were good with us, I was happy most of the time, and he treated me like a princess. But then I was assigned Diego as a lab partner for Chemistry. I knew that Diego had a thing for me; he had made it quite obvious. Everyone knew that I was the first and only girl that had ever caught the attention of Diego Gutierrez, but he was the furthest thing from right for me." Looking at Eric's slightly confused but very interested face, she continued. "Diego's dangerous. He was the son of one of the greatest gang leaders in New York, or so he told me. There's some story about his father moving to Texas to help out some cousins with their operation but I don't really know it. Diego's always been hesitant to talk to me about that kind of thing, he says he doesn't want me involved. But I know just like everyone else, that he's not a good guy; Eric, he's killed people. He's killed people, but he would never hurt me. He had to protect me once when we were doing lab work at his house and some of his 'family' had shown up. It didn't end pretty, but not a hair on my head was harmed."

Eric's eyes had gone wide at the mention of killing. As he thought back to his mental image of Diego, he could recognize it now. The bad boy aura around him wasn't a façade, it was as real as it gets. "Still . . ." He began hesitantly, letting her know that regardless of the fact that he kept her safe, what the boy had done, was wrong.

"I know." She said softly before continuing. "At that point, I was still so adamant that I hated him. I spurned his every advance but as the year progressed, it became more and more difficult to deny that there was heat between us. Diego would sit in class and flirt with me. He would brush his foot up my calf, place his hand on my shoulder, lean close so that his breath was hot on my neck and most effective of all he would slowly run his hand up my thigh. I would always knock his hand away, but one day I was frustrated with the lab stuff and I let him continue until I couldn't breathe. His hand slid so high that it ventured under my skirt and I thought that I would hyperventilate."

Eric was about to raise his hand to let her know that that was enough of that but the story took a different turn.

Anna looked away, embarrassed by what she had just admitted but she was committed to full disclosure. "I somehow managed the strength to push his hand away but after that day he knew the power he held. His attentions only increased and as Jackson and I began to fall apart over worries about the following year, Diego took advantage. He was there for me, when few other people were and when he kissed me one day, I didn't push him away as I should have. I didn't let it get too far but I was still so ashamed of what I'd done that I ran far and fast even though it was my house. I went to Jackson and tried to give him what he had been pressuring me to give." She said looking at Eric suggestively to let him know exactly what it was that she was referring to.

Eric didn't need an explanation; he knew immediately that Anna was referring to her virginity. Also, noticing that this was a distinct difference from Blair's story with Nate because in that case it had been Blair doing the pressuring; however, he had a feeling that that might be one of the very few differences. "Go on." He almost whispered in an attempt to be encouraging. He was enraptured by her story.

"But I couldn't do it, I could only think about Diego. Jackson could see it in my eyes and we had a gigantic argument in which Jackson called me every awful name in the book. After that night we didn't talk for days. The whole time I was completely ignoring Diego as well; I didn't need him complicating things, people expected me to be with Jackson and I felt that I should because all my parents wanted was a good daughter that had everything. I owed them so much that I couldn't throw away their dreams for me on a gangster. So when Jackson showed up at my locker with flowers, chocolates, and an apology, I accepted." Anna said softly. "But when the end of the year came, all of our problems were still there, and somehow I had let Diego get close again. Right after graduation, while we were all at the Gulf for Senior Week, Diego and Jackson got into it."

Eric watched as Anna slipped into a memory and followed closely as she relayed what had happened.

_"Hey there Bella." Diego whispered into her ear from behind, surprising her and causing her to stumble. His arms immediately wrapped around her to keep her from falling. "Careful now mi amor. I wouldn't want you getting hurt on my account." _

_Anna exhaled slowly, doing her best not to get caught up in Diego tonight. What had she been thinking walking away from the campfire by herself, of course Diego would find her; he always did. Either way she had to ask. "Did you follow me out here?" She did her best to sound accusing but she could hear the breathiness of her voice and knew that she had failed. _

_"Si, Bella. I did. I never get to be alone with you anymore." As he spoke this time, he reached on hand up to turn her jaw so that she could see him, even though he was still behind her. He could feel her breathing increasing at a rapid rate and couldn't help but smile; she was his and always would be. "Do you know why I call you Bella sometimes?" _

_It took a great effort simply to whisper an answer. "No." She breathed. _

_Diego kissed her throat lightly, causing her to tremble. "Bella means beautiful in espanol and you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on." At that he kissed her neck again, this time not so lightly. _

_Anna feared that he would leave a mark and after all she was still with Jackson. But she didn't want to stop. "Angel, we shouldn't." _

_At the sound of his gang name he spun her around in his arms, it used to anger him that she dared to say it, but now he reveled in it and the intimacy that it indicated lay between them. "I don't care what we should or shouldn't do anymore. High school's over." _

_Just as he was about to kiss her, Jackson came through the trees. "I knew it, damn it, I knew it!" His face was red with anger as he slung the unnecessary flashlight that he had been carrying at a tree and watched it dissolve into several pieces. All along he had known that Diego had a thing for his girl but it had only been recently that he had started to think that she might possibly return the sentiments. It was his fault that they had been fighting so much as of late. The Mexican was going to pay. _

_Diego allowed her to turn within his arms but he didn't let her go. Anna tried to jerk herself out of Diego's hold, but Diego held tight, whispering in her ear. "Not so fast Bella," Before raising his voice. "I think it's time that your boyfriend knew about us." _

_Jackson had taken a couple steps towards them from across the small clearing and still looked infuriated. _

_Anna jerked once more but was still unable to get out of his hold. "There is no us Diego." She said through gritted teeth, all the intimacy of the previous moment long gone. Then she turned her head to Jackson. "This isn't what it looks like Jackson, I swear."_

_He simply glared at her shoving her out of the way hard enough to cause her to lose her balance and fall to the ground, before slamming his fist into Diego's face with enough force that Diego fell to the ground as well. Surprisingly, Diego first turned to Anna. "Are you okay?" He asked quickly, even though his lip was bleeding and they were both on the ground while Jackson was standing._

_She nodded and screamed as Jackson began kicking Diego in the gut; something that wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been checking on her. "Jackson, stop it." She shouted as she climbed to her feet. _

_"Stay out of this B." He said through gritted teeth, using the nickname only he called her as a reminder of what they were before continuing his assault on Diego. "You've had this coming for a long time now Gutierrez."_

_Annabelle realized that she might be able to get through to Jackson, upon hearing his use of her nickname. She remembered that he had started calling her Belle right after they began dating, wanting to be different and use the second half of her name. Eventually that had become B and it was something special between them. He couldn't be too angry with her if he was still using his pet name for her so there was still a chance that she could stop this before Jackson got himself hurt because regardless of who was on the ground right now, Jackson had clearly forgotten just who he was dealing with. "Jackson, please." She said almost sweetly, definitely pleading with him to stop. _

_"You're really sticking up for this lowlife Anna? I thought you were better than that" Jackson said turning his head to her for only a moment, but it was enough because suddenly with a quick twist of his leg Diego had Jackson on the ground. _

_Moments later Diego was straddling him, punching his fist into his face. "Who's the lowlife now Phillips? Did you really think that you could take me? Huh . . . Huh . . . Answer the fucking question douche bag." _

_"Yes." Jackson grunted as Anna looked on in horror. She had to stop this, she had to do something._

_Diego slammed his fist into Jackson's face once more, enjoying their little conversation as he did so. "That's laughable that you thought that a pretty boy like yourself could do any serious damage to the big bad." _

_Suddenly, she found herself on her knees beside them begging Diego to stop. "Please, please stop it Diego. Please." _

_He didn't even look at her as he continued to throttle her boyfriend. "Será feliz, si sobrevivieras, niño." He growled in Spanish at Jackson, unable to resist calling him boy._

_From her knowledge of French, Anna had an idea of what Diego had just said and it wasn't good. She had definitely heard words like lucky and survive in the same sentence. So she reached out and grabbed the arm that Diego wasn't currently pummeling Jackson with. This time he looked to her as she stared deep into his eyes. "Angel, please. For me." _

_He hissed at hearing her say Angel but then as he looked into her eyes, he seemed to cool down before her. His posture relaxed and he leaned back a little. "For you anything." He said standing up and pulling her to her feet as well. "Come with me." He said almost so low that it was inaudible as he pulled her up almost against him. _

_She looked down at Jackson whose hands were clutching his nose then back to Diego. "No." She said with a shake of her head. _

_Diego raised his eyebrows. "Do you want me to return to my human punching bag mía? Or do you want to come help me clean up my battle wounds." By the look on her face, he knew the answer, so he took her hand and started walking_

As they walked away, Anna turned around and called out. "I'm so so sorry Jackson. Please forgive me." 

_By this point Jackson had pulled himself to a seated position and yelled back. "Your life is over Gutierrez. Over. You'll learn not to touch my girl."_

"Jackson never really made good on his threat and despite the bruises on both boys, no one found out about the fight. Jackson and I tried to make things work this summer, but things never really seemed to go back to the way they were before; or maybe they did and it just wasn't good enough anymore." Anna said shaking her head. "Either way, I know one thing for sure, whatever was between me and Diego is still there and it's grown impossible to ignore. So after we kissed at the bar the other night before dancing a little, I agreed to go on a date with him tonight."

Eric couldn't help but smile. He had been right before. Jackson and Diego may not be best friends, but the similarities between them and Nate and Chuck were uncanny; so strangely, Anna's attraction to Diego didn't surprise him in the slightest. The whole situation was quite ironic, only one thing was kind of bothering him. "Sometimes you referred to Diego as Angel, why?"

Anna glanced away, this was stuff she wasn't supposed to talk about with anyone that she didn't wish dead but she had a feeling that Eric was a trust worthy guy. When she spoke, she did so in conspiratual tones. "Never say any of this in front of Diego but Angel is his gang moniker or rather Angel's Shadow. Angel was his dad and when his father died he moved from being known as Shadow to being known as Angel within the gang. I know that I'm the only person outside of the gang family that would dare speak that name to his face; even his mother would never."

Eric nodded rather solemnly. This guy Diego was dangerous, the kind of dangerous that got you killed and as he said he understood the attraction but at the same time he was worried for Anna. He didn't want anything bad happening to her. "Be careful." He said softly.

"I always am." Anna replied almost as an afterthought.

After another half hour or so, Anna headed downstairs and Eric headed to lunch with Chuck. Anna had assumed that her friends would be waiting but instead she found a note, along with a beautiful flower arrangement of fuchsia peonies. From the note she found out that she had left her phone in the room and since they had no way of getting in touch with her or no idea where she was, they had gone out sightseeing. They told her to call if she wanted to meet them somewhere. She considered it for a moment but then decided that she'd rather spend her day differently. At that she picked up her cell phone and dialed Jenny Humphrey's number. After a few measures of the new Lincoln Park song, Jenny answered. "Hey girl this is Anna, we met the other night at Socialista" . . . "Right, I have a date tonight and I was wondering if you would like to join me for a little bit of 5th Avenue shopping?" . . . "Yeah, sounds great, I'll meet you at Barney's in half an hour."

After she hung up the phone she moved to the vase of flowers to search for a card. Surely whoever sent them had sent a message as well, but after searching the whole arrangement and coming up empty, she gave up. "Oh well." She muttered to herself. But seeing as how it was her favorite arrangement and the only people she knew that knew that were the girls and Diego, she felt that it was safe to assume that it was a pre-date gift from him. The thought warmed her heart because she wanted so much for him to be that kind of guy; the bad boy gone good, who sent you your favorite flowers and always knew exactly what you needed. But there was something deep in her gut that whispered to her that Diego could never by that guy because he wasn't _the_ guy from the plane.

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A/N: I know the past couple of chapters haven't been action packed but I hope you still enjoyed them. I've added a picture of Jackson to my profile along with the other OCs and the locket in case you guys were curious.  
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**Reviews are always appreciated, even if you have something bad to say.**

**xoxo**

**kate **


	8. Secrets We Don't Know Why We Keep

**A/N: I really am trying to get the other fanfics progressing quickly so after this update it might be a little while before I get the chance to update again. So I did want to let you guys know that. I've felt like the chapters aren't really full of action and I've found that this fanfic seems to move rather slowly. I hope you guys don't mind too much *hugs***

Thanks to my reviewers: **BrittyKay247, flipped, Chris2035, sugarfusion, LC-LOVES-CB, fraychic18, Jessika, Sarah, annablake, teddy bear, Agent Twinkle Toes, CarolinaGirl21, decemberellia, illusion100, READER120, LitPrincess2787, ggloverxx19, MissCharstar, and Lalai **your reviews are the best motivation that I could ever ask for.

To teddy bear since I couldn't reply to your review: (teddy bear asked why Anna didn't Wikipedia Blair like she did the others) Anna didn't Wikipedia Blair for a few reasons. First, she still doesn't know Blair's last name. Second, Blair wasn't mentioned on Chuck or Jenny's page and she didn't click on Serena or Nate's not that Blair would have been mentioned there either this of course has a simple answer. Blair isn't/wasn't famous. Chuck is the CEO of a major corporation, Jenny is a fashion designer, Serena is a well known socialite, and Nate is a Vanderbilt and expected to make a political run in the future. Blair is simply Upper East Side old money and they are known only amongst those who they want to know them. Like in the Season 2 finale, all of the photographers were trying to get Serena's picture and Blair was in the way so they asked her to move; they didn't even know her name. Blair's only claim to fame would be her mother but daughter's of fashion designers usually aren't well known unless they are models. So no Wikipedia page for Blair. I hope that answers your question.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

* * *

Anna beamed as she saw Jenny approaching, walking quickly down the street with a coffee in her hand."Hey girl, it's good to see you again."

Jenny couldn't help but return the smile. It was strange that she already felt such a strong connection with this girl that she hardly knew. She supposed that it was because of the way Anna looked but either way, she couldn't deny that she was excited to spend the day with her. "You too." She said, flipping up her sunglasses as she reached Anna. "Now what exactly is it that we're looking for today? Or are we just shopping because that works for me." There was a time that she would have dreaded this sort of shopping trip with Blair, but now she had a high profile job and Lily insisted on paying for most things anyway.

"Well, I have a big date tonight. It's the first official date with this guy so I'm looking for something special but I'm done for all kinds of shopping. I think my Texas wardrobe could use a little New York City makeover." Anna said as the doorman to Barney's opened up the door and they walked through.

Jenny's eyes lit up at the mention of a boy. "Oooo tell me more about this guy." She said leading the way towards the dresses. "It had been a long time since she had had a true girlfriend. Serena was a great step sister but she wasn't really around and even though Jenny had been Queen of Constance, people had feared her more than they had been her friend. She missed this kind of thing.

Anna couldn't help but blush a little. It was strange for her to have so much support about a potential relationship with Diego and she couldn't resist spilling a little bit about what was going on even though she had just told Eric the whole story that morning, or at least more than anyone else knew. "Well Diego was kind of the bad boy in high school but there's always been something between us and tonight we have a date." She gushed as they reached the dresses.

"Is he hot?" Jenny couldn't help but ask.

Anna laughed. "Um yeah he's definitely hot. As in one of the most gorgeous guys I've ever seen. A fact your step brother Eric agreed to."

Jenny was taken aback. "You've met Eric?" After her conversation with him the other night she would have never guessed that Eric would talk to Anna, especially enough to meet her pseudo boyfriend. She had definitely missed a chapter somewhere.

"Chuck and Serena too." Anna said as she sifted through some of the dresses on the rack.

Jenny grabbed onto the clothing rack for support. Anna had met Eric, Serena, _and_ Chuck, how had this happened. Jenny had to remind herself that Anna had no idea that the girl she looked like had been dead for two years. So she had no clue that seeing her wasn't just strange for them, it was probably traumatic. "Jesus Anna, how did you manage to meet over half of my siblings in the three days since I last saw you?"

Anna once more laughed a sound that rang throughout their section of the store. "We all live in the same hotel and all of the sudden we seemed to be running into each other." Anna moved through another couple of dresses before picking one up. "What do you think of this one?"

"It's okay. But wait, what did you think of my siblings?" Jenny asked curiosity getting the better of her as she searched for Anna's perfect dress. The cream color of the dress in Anna's hand would totally have washed her out, whereas the one Jenny was looking at now, just might be perfect. "How about this one instead?" She asked holding up a yellow halter dress with beading on the bodice and at the trim.

"First off, love the dress, who's it by?" Anna asked as she fingered the fabric.

Jenny laughed and placed a rather smug smile on her face, she couldn't believe she was about to say to a girl who was the spitting image of Eleanor Waldorf's daughter. "Don't you know a Waldorf Original when you see one?"

Anna raised a hand to her lips in surprise before duteously inspecting the dress. "Oh my god, of course, it's from the new summer line _Heavenly_ and it's absolutely gorgeous. Intricate beading, ideal fabric, perfect lining; is this one of yours Jenny?" Anna said, finally looking up at the blond.

Jenny shook her head slightly. "This one is truly a Waldorf Original; actually the whole _Heavenly_ line is." She added staring off over Anna's shoulder at nothing in particular. Her vision blurred as her mind wandered. "Eleanor designed the line to be released on the one year anniversary of the official day of death of her daughter." For a moment, Jenny considered telling Anna that Blair was that daughter but then it just seemed too weird.

"That's so sad. I had no idea." Anna said softly; still running her fingers over the silk of the dress.

At the sound of Anna's voice, Jenny blinked her eyes rapidly a couple of times before refocusing them on the girl in front of her and plastering a smile on her face. "So are you going to try it on?"

Anna wasn't sure where Jenny had disappeared to for a second. She could only assume that Eleanor's daughter had been someone that Jenny had known which made perfect sense. Someone the dress in front of her seemed a little tainted with sadness now; it was something that she definitely didn't need to be thinking about on her first date with Diego. But abruptly she was inspired."Not this one." She said allowing the fabric to slip through her fingers. "I've got an idea though; come with me." With that she grabbed Jenny's hand and started weaving towards the exit.

"Anna where are we going?" Jenny said half laughing as she allowed herself to be drug through the store and onto fifth avenue.

"You'll see." Anna said a smile on her face as she locked her arm with the blonde's.

Jenny shook her head slightly but decided to go with it; what the hell, it could be fun. As they walked Jenny realized that they had lost their conversation in the recent madness and decided that her curiosity had yet to be satisfied. "So, you still haven't told me, what'd you think of my siblings? I know they can be a little much."

An almost wistful look came over Anna's face as she thought back to Jenny's siblings. "Well, Eric I adore."

"Of course." Jenny said with a dramatic wave of her hand. "Everyone loves Eric."

"He's just so smart and . . . I think the word I'm looking for is empathetic." Anna spoke, doing her best to describe the young man that she had met only this morning.

Jenny nodded understanding immediately what Anna was trying to say. "Yep that's Eric. He always knows just what to say for everything. He and I were friends for years before our parents got married. I don't know what I'm going to do with him all the way in Cambridge this fall."

"He's going to Harvard?" Anna asked surprised not that Eric had gotten in but surprised at the rush of pride she felt. That was just odd, she barely knew the boy.

"Yep." Jenny said beaming.

Clearly Jenny was proud as well, Anna thought as she absorbed this new information. "So I totally love Eric, but y'all's sister Serena isn't my favorite person or I guess it would be more accurate to say that I am definitely not hers."

That was surprising to Jenny. Of course she knew something Anna didn't, in that Serena was likely just reacting to the fact that Anna looked exactly like Blair. "Really, normally Serena is really easy going?" Jenny said probingly.

"You could have fooled me." Anna said, exhaling a poof of air. "She fainted when she first saw me; then proceeded to tell Eric he couldn't hang out with me and tried to kick me out of the apartment, all within the first ten minutes of meeting me."

Jenny had to fight the urge to say that Anna shouldn't have surprised Serena like that because it wasn't Anna's fault; Anna hadn't done anything wrong. "Yeah, Serena's had a rough couple of years. After high school, things changed for her in ways that she didn't really like." Jenny wasn't quite sure why she was skirting around the topic of Blair's death now when she hadn't earlier but she really didn't want to scare Anna.

Anna nodded. "That's what Eric told me after he and Serena got into it over me."

She tried not to look surprised. Serena and Eric never fight, ever. If they were fighting over this then it was a big deal to both of them. Anna must have really made an impression on Eric to get him to change his mind about all of them being friends with her. "Now what about Chuck?" Jenny asked almost as an afterthought. So much an afterthought that she almost missed it, the look. But she caught it right before it faded; it was that look that meant that a girl was into someone. The faraway eyes and the wistful glow added to an upturned mouth.

"Chuck was really nice." Anna said, doing her best to hide the attraction she had felt for Jenny's older brother. And the last thing she wanted was to call attention to her weird behavior around him; Eric knowing was enough.

Jenny smirked slightly, this was seriously interesting. Sure Chuck used to have the devil may care thing going for him but in the past two years he had come off as more of a puppy dog that had been abandoned. He was still extremely attractive but he had been unkempt and quite mean as of late. Yet Anna was still attracted to him. "Nice, huh? I would never think of Scrooge as nice."

Anna's eyes widened in surprise at Jenny's sarcastic comment. Chuck didn't seen Scrooge like at all to her; in fact, he was very much the opposite. "Well he certainly wasn't grumpy with me. He even kissed my hand, like some kind of Prince Charming."

Jenny had still been sipping on a cup of coffee and spewed it from her mouth. Brother or not, Chuck certainly had naive little Anna fooled. "Don't be naïve Anna, Chuck's no Prince Charming. Even for Blair" She added lowly.

"What was that last part?" Anna asked afraid of what she had heard. She was hoping that she had misunderstood what Jenny had said.

Jenny sighed, oh great what had she done. "I said, even for Blair."

Anna's hopes fell. There it was, exactly what she had thought Jenny had said, even for Blair. Meaning that Chuck was with Blair; that Chuck probably only liked her because she looked like Blair. Wait a minute she was getting ahead of herself, so what a boy kissed her hand, it didn't mean he was pledging undying love. Anyway, it didn't matter, she had Diego. So she smiled at Jenny for two reasons. "Okay." She said with a shrug before turning quickly. "By the way, we're here."

At first Jenny was simply glad that Anna had absorbed that information so well; then she saw where they were and looked at Anna with a hesitant look on her face because they were standing in front of the Eleanor Waldorf boutique. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea." Jenny hazarded.

"Why not?" Anna asked stubbornly as she waltzed through the doors. "Eleanor Waldorf dresses are ones that I reserve only for special occasions and tonight is definitely going to be special."

Jenny exhaled, dumping her coffee cup in the can by the door. She cursed herself for not coming clean about Blair being Eleanor's daughter earlier; it would have made explaining to Anna why they couldn't be in here so much easier. If Eleanor saw her, she would have a heart attack. But Eleanor was supposed to be at the atelier today so maybe she should just continue on the way things were, without Anna knowing that the girl she looked like was dead, no harm done. "You are so right Anna, why not shop here?"

Anna smiled and within five minutes she had found it, the perfect dress for her date with Diego. The colors together made the dress completely eye catching and the strapless top would flatter her. She turned and faced Jenny. "Found it. It's perfect."

This time Jenny was incredibly honored as a feeling of pride swelled within her. "I designed that dress."

Anna smiled even brighter. "Then I really do have to try it on."

Jenny reached out and grabbed her arm, causing Anna to turn her head back. "No, you don't. Take it from the designer; that dress was made for you." The smile on Anna's face became so bright that Jenny almost had to look away. It was incredible how happy this girl seemed to be all the time.

"Then I'll buy it." She said walking towards the register.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jenny saw her, walking into the store from the backroom and straight in their direction, Eleanor Waldorf. So Jenny thought on her feet as best she could. "On second thought, better safe than sorry." She said half dragging Anna to the fitting rooms; lucky that they were on the opposite side of the room from Eleanor.

Anna was confused but went with it. "Good point. Better safe than sorry. I wouldn't want to have to beg you later to take it in or let it out and I'm so in love with the dress that I know I would."

Jenny practically forced her into the dressing room before walking over to Eleanor. "Eleanor hey, I thought you were spending the day at the atelier."

Eleanor hadn't seen Jenny in the store so when she appeared in front of her it had been unexpected. She grabbed her clipboard that she had almost dropped. "Jenny, you startled me dear." She spoke, her voice almost scolding. But then she returned to her normal voice and answered Jenny's question. "I had to do a quick inventory check this morning because Laurel has fallen ill."

Jenny heard the eye roll in Eleanor's voice at the last part. She had a suspicion that the only reason Laurel had a job was because she was efficient and never quit no matter what Eleanor told her to do; not because Eleanor actually liked her. "Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked crossing her fingers that Eleanor was on her way out of the store.

"No, I don't think so. I'm just on my way out. I know you aren't on today but if you stop by the atelier later I know I'll need some help then." Eleanor said, straightening her glasses.

"Sure, I'll stop by." Jenny was doing her best to end the conversation so Eleanor would leave before seeing Anna.

Just then Anna walked from the dressing room. Eleanor turned to the store manager beside her. "Madeline you have a customer, go do what I pay you for." Then she faced Jenny once more. "I need to get back to the atelier. I have to prepare for the Bloomingdale's meeting this afternoon. You can sit in, if you'd like."

Jenny nodded again and walked with Eleanor to the front of the store, away from the dressing rooms. "See you then."

Eleanor simply nodded as Jenny held the door open for her and let her outside. She spun on her heels and hurried back to Anna, who was spinning in front of the mirror. "Absolutely perfect." She said with a smile. "So I was right the first time, you didn't even need to try it on."

Anna faced Jenny and smiled brightly before turning to the sales girl who was now standing by her side like a scolded puppy. "I'll take it."

"Marvelous." Madeline said as she took the tag from the dress to ring it up while Anna got changed.

Jenny breathed a sigh of relief that they had made it out of that one unscathed and of all the girls who worked the boutique, Madeline was the newest and probably the only one who would see Anna and think that she was Blair. Luck had definitely been on their side or at least she thought it was until she heard her phone beep.

**Lions, tigers, and Blair Waldorf oh my. Take a look at this picture kiddies. I was under the impression that B fled the UES for greener pastures but then who's this brunette beauty shopping with J. First person to tell me the real scoop gets a cookie ;)**

**xoxo**

**gossip girl**

* * *

"Nate I am so glad you're home." Serena said frustration coloring her voice as she stormed into his penthouse. She still couldn't believe that Eric had flipped sides on her. They had talked about this; the best thing for everyone was if they stayed far away from the look-a-like. Chuck's choice had been anticipated; it was in his nature to do things that were bad for him but Eric was normally so level headed and reasonable.

Nate shut the door behind her and walked over to the couch where Serena was unceremoniously plopping herself down. "What's the big emergency Serena? I assume I am correct in saying that emergency is the right word, since you woke me up before noon for this."

"You are not going to believe what Chuck, Eric, and apparently Jenny have done. And yes emergency is definitely the correct word because if we don't do something about this then all of this is going to end very badly." Serena said, waving her arms through the air for emphasis.

"What have they done?" Nate asked distracted. He was always going to be there for his friends but lately he had felt as though they had slid into a rather monotonous trend of issue avoidance followed by bad decisions until two days ago.

Serena rolled her eyes. "Nate you aren't paying attention to me."

Nate flipped his head to face her. "I am Serena, it's just it's always something isn't it? There's always a new crisis to deal with and it's starting to get old. I want normal back; I need normal back."

With a sigh Serena looked away. She was trying to keep the tears from her eyes. They all tried so hard to pretend that they hadn't grown apart since Blair's death; but she knew that that wasn't the case. Nate wasn't the same guy that he used to be, clueless and lost. Columbia had done a lot for him and with Blair gone, Serena away, and Chuck being Chuck. Nate had been forced to make it on his own for a while and it had pushed him just enough to make him grow up. Chuck was some kind of expert business man but Blair's death had destroyed him on the inside. Eric wasn't the same little brother she had known either. Clearly she hadn't spent enough time with him lately because she didn't really know him at all. She had no clue what was going on in his life or in his head; they had had their first real fight this morning over something that Serena was sure Eric would agree with her on. And she knew that she was different, what she had done after Blair died had made her into a different person; she was the weak one now.

Nate saw the tears coming and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Serena, I'm sorry, tell me what it is." It wasn't that he really wanted to know; only that he didn't want Serena to be upset. He still cared a lot about her even though it was only as friends.

Serena looked at him as though she was considering whether or not she was going to do this; but remembered that this was why she was here in the first place. "All of them are spending time with Anna."

"Who's Anna?" Nate asked, confused yet intrigued. He knew that they didn't know as much about each other now as they used to but he figured that he would have heard about someone important enough to have Serena this upset.

"The look-a-like." She said softly, almost as though she didn't want to.

Understanding swept through Nate, somehow or another they had all managed to meet the girl who looked like Blair, whose name was apparently Anna, and now Serena was upset that no one was sticking to what she believed was common sense. "Oh." Was all he said in response.

Fury began to pump in her veins once more. "Oh, that's all you have to say? Oh." How could Nate be so nonchalant about this?

"It's their decision Serena. If they want to associate with her, we can't tell them not to." Nate said with a shrug, knowing that it wasn't what she wanted to hear. Clearly she wanted Nate to go on a crusade with her to tell them all that they couldn't do this; but he wasn't biting.

"Why the hell not?" She asked, now infuriated.

"Because we can't make these kinds of choices for them. If we do they'll just resent us later. If it's a mistake, they have to figure that out on their own." Nate spoke calmly. Serena would regret it if she pushed everyone away over this and he really hoped that she realized that herself.

Serena stood and began to pace. "Great, so you're on their side. Next thing you know, you'll be asking Anna out on dates, using her to replace the one girl you never got over. Don't think I don't know Nate. You may have made peace with Chuck right after graduation I haven't forgotten what you told me that day at Tavern on the Green when I said that you were handling losing your girlfriend to Chuck well. I believe your exact words were, 'It's Chuck and Blair, they'll burn so hot they burn out, then Blair and I will find our way back to each other, just like we were always meant to.'"

Now it was Nate's turn to get angry. Why did she have to bring him into this? "First of all, I'm on no one's side Serena. Second, I don't want anything to do with this Anna that everyone is going on about. She isn't Blair and that's not good enough for me. And yeah you're right I was still in love with Blair, hell I always will be."

Serena remained indignant. Nate couldn't really think that she believed that he wasn't on their side. This was one of those things that Nate couldn't just chill out in the middle of; he had to pick on side or the other and he clearly wasn't picking hers. She raised her hand as though she was about to interrupt but Nate whose voice was escalating to a yell, wouldn't let her.

"Just because I didn't try to kill myself or I didn't hide away in Europe pretending like it didn't happen doesn't mean I loved her any less than Chuck or you for that matter. Because I think that's what this is really about." He said begin to run out of steam but refusing to stop until he got this off his chest.

His voice sounded venomous and spiteful in a way that Serena wasn't used to Nate's voice sounding. He couldn't be referring to what she thought he was referring to; but as he continued, she knew that he was.

"I think, that you can't stand looking at Anna because it makes you feel guilty for what you did, or rather didn't do." Nate finished having said everything he could think to say. Serena seemed to deflate right in front of his eyes.

Serena wanted to say something in response but she was physically unable. She opened her mouth a few times then closed it. After a few moments she did speak. "You're right." She collapsed backwards onto the couch and cradled her head in her hands. "You are so right."

Her response made Nate feel awful. He shouldn't have been so insensitive. Serena was clearly on less steady ground than he was right now so just because she threw a sucker punch at him didn't mean he should have done the same to her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm sure that that's not why you don't want Anna around."

Serena turned her head to look at Nate. Nate who used to be so innocent wasn't really that guy anymore. She had been right before; he had changed. And he was right now. "No, Nate, as much as I don't like it you're right. I can't bear looking at Anna and thinking about everything I did wrong. All of my mistakes just come rushing back at me. I was so selfish and I can't face that. Not now, not ever."

"We're all selfish sometimes Serena. You had reasons for what you did and I shouldn't have said what I did." Nate said reassuringly.

"If it was just that I was too selfish to come home when I found out what happened that would be one thing. But I kept so much from everyone. I should have been here; I knew what was going on. It hadn't taken you that long to track me down. But instead I told you to tell everyone you couldn't find me. I pretended like I didn't know and I went straight to Brown when I got back. All I cared about was myself, even though I knew that my best friend could be dead." Serena said the tears beginning anew. "And it all to keep a stupid secret."

"There's no point in worrying about it now Serena. What's done is done, it can't be changed. We can only move forward." Nate said thinking he sounded somewhat cliché. But Serena nodded so he thought it couldn't have been too bad, of a thing to say. Sometimes he forgot that he was the only one who knew Serena's secret; well him, Carter, Serena, and Scott.

**Busy day, busy day. J spotted with doppelganger, followed by C and E out to lunch, and a secretive meeting between S and N. My, my, my, we haven't seen our favorite Upper East Siders this interactive in two years. When I figure out what's got this pot astir, you'll be the first to know. **

**you know you love me**

**xoxo  
gossip girl**

**

* * *

A/N: Hope you like this chapter guys. There's a link to Blair's dress for her date with Diego on my profile if you want to check it out. **

**Reviews are always appreciated. **

**xoxo  
kate**


	9. Author's Note

**Author's Note **

(I'm writing this because I think you all deserve to know why I'm about to be quite distant)

I love reviews, I do. I think all authors have to for us to be posting on here. Each of us can write all we want but for some reason we choose to post on here. For me at least I post because I love getting feedback. When you guys send me reviews, 99.9% of the time I absolutely adore it. When the reviews are positive it's great, they make me so happy and they motivate me to write more. When the reviews are critical that's great too because if I'm doing something wrong then your criticism can only make me a better writer. At least this is what I have always believed to be true. Some of you have pointed out a couple of minor holes in the story and that has been absolutely wonderful. Others of you have pointed out some holes that aren't so much there. That's something that I never mind clarifying. Unfortunately, the way some of you have gone about this lately has been less than kind. I understand that as I writer I need to be able to take the good with the bad but a couple of you have gotten rude.

Additionally, I have always enjoyed hearing what you guys want to see in my story. Sometimes I have no clue where a story is headed myself so you guys really inspire me and give me great ideas. It's also been great knowing if maybe certain characters are boring or if you'd like to see more of others. That kind of stuff is really helpful as a writer. From about chapter three, reviewers have been requesting that someone figure out who Blair is already. Recently those reviews have not become more frequent so much as more insistent. There are many of you who have asked me about when Anna will remember that's she's Blair that have done so in a perfectly fine way. Curiosity isn't bad, insulting my writing or calling it stupid is. I received a review for this chapter that really upset me. So much so that I asked my former English Teacher (LitPrincess2787) what I should do and I am following her advice completely. This review was rude about pointing out some holes that will be filled in time (practice patience) and it told me that what I choose to write isn't what I should be writing. This review was anonymous like many other potentially problematic reviews. From now on that option will be disabled for my stories. To those of you that review anonymously and do so respectfully, I am sorry.

I am going to post it here and respond to every point of the review in addition to a few other things that have been coming up in recent reviews but I feel as though right now I can't write this story. I tried to write a chapter today and all I could think about was the fact that the story was turning into something that upset me to write. So following this I am going to respond to that review but then I am going to take a break from this story for a little while. I am already so stressed about going back to school and with rush practice that I can't handle worrying about this. To those of you who do enjoy this story I am so sorry that I am doing this to you guys because you are all so wonderful and make me so happy; not to mention the fact that you make me a better writer and give me confidence in what I do. But you are also the reason that I am really taking a break. You guys deserve to have chapters that are written well, when I'm not upset and disconnected from the story. Therefore for an undetermined amount of time this story is on hiatus.

**Review**

The stupidest thing in your story is that Chuck didn't do any PI work on Anna  
that would find the truth

so ok no body and look-like girl?? no fingerprint check, no other 'crazy  
thing' a boy should do

really i understan you WANT to write this plot but can't you at least make it  
believable

the person isnt just the apperance but the manner etc, so it can't be  
simmilar for 2 dif persons

no theories about "lost twin"?

too many flaws for my mind

**My Response**

First of all, calling something in my story stupid is disrespectful. This and your second point I am responding to together. As of right now Chuck has not done PI work on Anna. He has not seen a reason to since he has no reason to believe that she only has been Anna for two years. Anna has said nothing to cause Chuck to be truly suspicious. She has friends that appear super close and he has only actually encountered her once and there were enough differences in his eyes to cause him to believe that she wasn't Blair. In addition to all of this, should he have even done a fingerprint check (aka creeped Anna out majorly by asking for her fingerprints or hiring a PI that he sees no reason to hire since he truly believes that Blair is dead) he would have found nothing. What I am about to tell you would have come out later but since you are all so desperate to understand everything immediately instead of letting things come out as I wanted I'll go ahead and tell you.

WARNING SPOILERS FOR LATER

The storm in the Gulf of Mexico/Caribbean that crashed their plane was the largest storm in known history. It wiped out all cruise ships, airplanes (chartered, private, or commercial), any boat in the water, and countless towns throughout Florida, along the Gulf, throughout the Yucatan Peninsula, Cuba, the Bahamas, and countless other Caribbean Islands. Think thousands upon thousands of people; many of whom people didn't even know were in the Gulf/Caribbean to begin with because they were on private boats. Bodies were turning up everywhere, it was a disorganized mess. Blair turned up in Galvastan, Texas; Chuck in New Orleans. Blair was found amongst the wreckage of a cruise ship that had been home to Melanie Carmichael-Getty. The hospitals were loaded with people and there wasn't time for proper records to be made of everyone there; they were simply trying to save as many lives as possible. So when Melanie's parents offered Blair a home only two days after the crash and she accepted; there was no documentation other than a request to the government for a temporary social security number based on amnesia. We are talking about over 1000 hospitals that were doing this that Chuck would have had to search to find Blair and Blair was gone from the hospital and renamed Anna within two days. During Chuck's initial search for Blair I'm sure he did hire a PI and this is why the PI found absolutely nothing to help Chuck and the same would be true should he choose to hire one now.

I'm sorry that you disagree with what I think is believable. I think it would unbelievable if all of the characters were going around accusing other people of being a missing dead girl.

Yes the two girls are similar in appearance but there are differences. Anna has an accent, she has a scar at her hairline, and her hair is blonder. Furthermore, while there are similarities in manner there are major differences. Anna glows constantly, she's happier than Blair ever was. She isn't insecure like Blair is either because she never had to deal with a boyfriend who was more interested in her best friend, a mother who liked her best friend more, and a best friend who got everything she ever wanted without making an effort. So while there are similarities there are just as many differences.

No I'm not including a lost twin theory even though Anna mentioned it in one chapter. She thought that she could somehow be related to Blair. But that is not a direction that is going to be explored.

Lastly, if there are too many flaws then you are under no obligation to continue reading. You clearly didn't want me to know who you are since you chose to write anonymously and that's fine but it would service you well in the future to learn how to write criticism without being so completely disrespectful and rude. It may be fun to you to say whatever you want to people but you should realize that it is actually a real person who receives your review. I am deleting this review along with all of your others.

**To everyone else:**

I am really sorry. This was just kind of the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm on a hiatus until further notice.

Xoxo

kate


	10. Wait, You Know Each Other?

**A/N: So here we go. I've finally updated. You guys have been absolutely amazing/completely incredible about the whole thing; which is why I've written again. Seriously though this is for all you guys who gave such great encouragement: **Miss Charstar, READER120, alice, abelard, illusion100, Chris2035, LC-LOVES-CB, LitPrincess2787, CarolinaGirl21, BrittyKay247, sugarfusion, , rainbowbutterflie, annablake, ggloverxx19, sugary sweet and sour, cavanaugh-girl, riclynshea, lai1224,**and ** DamNDomsMommy. ***hugs***

**I would like to note that if you have actual criticisms of my writing, feel free to review and let me know; I am always looking to improve. However, if you are just being mean and making comments such as what I replied to in my last post, than I would really rather you didn't. I would much rather receive no reviews than ridiculous ones. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

* * *

Diego waited patiently outside of Anna's room at seven forty five. He almost couldn't believe that he was finally getting her to go out on a date with him. After two years of trying, he had finally succeeded and right now it seemed so surreal. He was so enthused that he didn't even mind that Anna was running late and he was stuck waiting out here. After a couple more minutes, Anna opened the door.

"Okay I'm ready." She said with a smile, grabbing her purse as she walked out the door.

Diego had to pause for a moment to catch his breath; Anna was absolutely gorgeous. "Wow." He whispered as he stepped forward and placed a kiss on her cheek before offering her his arm. "You're beautiful."

Anna practically beamed. That kind of reaction from Diego was major. He was rarely so speechless; she had been expecting a 'You look hot.' "I guess that means you like the dress." She joked as she accepted his arm.

"Like is a bit of an understatement." Diego said his voice back to its usual low rumble. "I adore it."

Anna was still smiling, but she had toned it down until it was almost a smirk. "Well good; I would have hate to have wasted a Waldorf Original on you if you weren't going to appreciate it."

They had just stepped inside the elevator when Anna spoke and at her words Diego turned to face her, completely amazed once more. Anna had purchased a Waldorf Original for their date; that was a big deal. Knowing Anna as he did; he knew her stance on Waldorf Originals. They were for special occasions only. "You bought a Waldorf Original for our date?" He finally asked.

She couldn't help but blush under Diego's intense gaze. She had forgotten that he was aware of just how much she liked Waldorf Originals. Finally Anna nodded.

Diego grinned smugly. "I warrant a Waldorf Original."

"You don't have to be so smug about it." Anna said doing her best to act serious even though she knew that she was failing miserably. She was a little embarrassed that Diego now knew just how much this date meant to her. Things were always easier when she was able to keep her feelings to herself. That way if something went wrong no one else knew that she was disappointed. It was easier that way.

Diego took a step forward and brushed a lock of hair back from her face. "Bella, I'm glad you're excited." Anna averted her eyes and Diego moved his head to catch them with his own. "I know you better than anyone, yet still I struggle reading you sometimes. I didn't know that I meant this much to you."

Anna was breathing hard. He was so close to her at that moment that they were sharing each other's air. "I didn't want you to know." She barely whispered.

At first Diego was taken aback but then he realized the problem; for some reason Anna believed this to be one sided. Diego closed the distance between their mouths slowly; savoring the feel of her lips on his. It was strange to think that this was only their third kiss when everything about it felt so right. He felt his body responding as hers pressed against him and he broke away knowing that if he didn't they weren't going to make it to the restaurant. As he broke the kiss he spoke lowly, "You mean everything to me. Never worry that you don't." Even he was surprised by his words so as he looked into Anna's eyes he knew that he would see complete shock because Diego did not express his feelings like that, even to Anna.

She was absolutely speechless. She knew Diego cared but she thought that perhaps she was only a challenge and that now that he had her, he wouldn't want her anymore. Such a proclamation was out of character and unexpected. She knew nothing to say in return so she replied simply. "Okay."

* * *

Chuck frowned as he looked at the clock. Where the hell was Anna? He knew the card said nine and it was already nine thirty. Granted he hadn't received any form of acceptance but she hadn't called his cell which he had also left on the card to decline either.

He took a look at the still covered room service, knowing that it was getting cold; but not really caring since he was fairly certain that Bl--Anna wasn't coming. She had knocked on his door first, she had come to him. And she had seemed completely charmed by the one and only Chuck Bass. He honestly couldn't believe that she would stand him up like this; especially after spending the day with his siblings. Now it seemed ridiculous but he had been hoping that she had gone shopping with Jenny to look for a dress for their dinner tonight. Unfortunately, it seemed as though that wasn't the case.

If he wasn't starving he knew that he would have done something dramatic like knock over the cart holding the room server but as he was so hungry, he instead sat down and began to eat the food that he had ordered.

As he ate, Chuck began to cool down. The anger that he felt at Anna not showing up was replaced by anger at himself. After all, what did he expect? He had met Anna once and was sending her flowers and invitations to dinner. She probably thought that he was a sociopath. How could he have been so rash, so stupid? Just because he wanted desperately to get to know her didn't mean that she felt the same.

Eventually, even Chuck's anger at himself began to ebb away until he was left with only disappointment in the wake of the nonexistent date. He had put so much effort into the preparation for this evening and as much as he hated to admit it; he had been painfully excited about it.

Chuck decided that he very much so needed a drink and more than that, he needed to get out of the Palace for the rest of the night.

* * *

Anna smiled as they walked out of the restaurant. Their dinner had been absolutely fabulous and they had already decided to walk back instead of taking the car. It was only a few blocks and they wanted a little more time alone together.

As they walked Diego reached over and took Anna's hand, lacing his fingers through hers. "Have you had a good time?" Diego asked almost nervously.

Anna gave a half laugh. "Of course. But I kind of feel like I'm the one who's done all the talking."

Diego smiled slightly. "I like knowing what's going on with you."

"I'm glad but it's not entirely fair. I feel like you know everything about me, you always have; yet I know nothing about you." Anna said with a pout. It was true, even when they were lab partners back in Texas he had always kept the conversation focused on her. It was usually because he didn't like talking to her about what exactly he did.

"You know why we don't talk about me." Diego said looking away. She couldn't be involved in that part of his life. He had sworn that to himself from the beginning. She was the only part of his life that wasn't tainted by his family's occupation of choice and he wasn't going to start changing that now. He could see the understanding and disappointment on Anna's face so he eased up a little. "But you can ask me anything you want that doesn't pertain to that."

Anna's eyes lit up, there were a few things that she had always wondered about Diego and now seemed like the perfect time to find out. "Promise?" She asked.

Diego recognized that look, Anna was up to something but he couldn't really back out now. "I promise." The smile that broke on her face at his acquiescence made whatever was coming worth it.

"So first question, how old are you really?" Anna asked with a curious smirk.

At that Diego laughed aloud. "How did you even know that I wasn't your age?" Anna was always surprising him with her perceptiveness. To his knowledge, he had never told anyone that he was older than everyone in his grade.

Anna grinned. "Call it intuition. But I mean really you were always so much more mature than all the other guys were."

Diego nodded. "You're right. I'm actually twenty."

Anna's eyes widened. "Really?" When Diego nodded again she continued with more questions. "Why did you graduate with us then?"

Diego sighed. He had never had to explain this to anyone before and she was unintentionally touching on the topic that was off limits. "Well my parents waited a year to start me in school. Which accounts for the first year. As for the second, I spent a year in Mexico after my dad died. It left me the heir to a lot of the family business and everyone was afraid that whoever shot my dad would come after me. No one ever did so I came home."

"Tell me about your dad's death." She practically whispered.

"Anna." Diego said warningly; but as he looked into her eyes, he could see her earnest expression and knew that she wanted to know because she cared not because of some kind of morbid curiosity. He decided that telling her wouldn't be like telling her about jobs or anything too dangerous. "He was shot while he was out on a deal. I was with him." Diego looked away but Anna reached up and turned his head to face hers. He was surprised that instead of pity there was simply understanding and what seemed to be a desire to be there for him. At that he continued. "I don't know who it was but I remember every sound, every smell, every sensation of the moment."

Anna watched closely as Diego spoke; noticing the faraway look that entered his eyes. But she didn't interrupt.

"I smelled gasoline. I think a car nearby must have had a leak in their gas tank. It had been raining and there were puddles all along the alleyway. Water had gotten in my sneakers and I was so angry. I told my dad I hated him for making me come with him. I wanted to go to a party at one of my cousin's houses." Diego said with a grimace on his face. He had regretted the things he had said that day ever since. "He said, 'No you don't my little Shadow and one day you'll be grateful that I taught you the business. It's important that you know every job within the operation from the lowest to the highest because that is the only way to understand all of the men who work for you. So today you can hate me but one day you will make me so proud."

Anna wasn't surprised that Diego remembered his father's exact words. Big moments tended to stay with you more than others and a father's last words were everything to a boy. She remembered when she comforted . . . wait she had been thinking about previously comforting a boy who had lost his father but Diego was the only guy she knew whose dad had died. That was odd but yet she had a distinct sense of what someone going through that needed. They needed someone to be there for them unconditionally; someone that would love them no matter what they did. These were disturbing thoughts. Anna pushed them from her mind and continued to listen to Diego.

"He did the deal while I stood grumpily next to him. When he finished, I was leaning with my back against his car as he opened the door. I heard footsteps in the wet ally but didn't bother looking. I could see my father's face as a look of surprise over came him. He started speaking to the person, it was someone he knew. 'What are you . . . no you don't want to do this.' His face had changed to a look of worry and I tried to turn around to see who was causing my father to wear such an expression but my father shoved me through the open car door as the gun fired. I could see his face as the bullets hit; I could see the pain that racked his body. The smell of gunpowder was strong in the air as I cradled my dying father in my arms. I begged him to tell me who did this, because by the time I could look, whoever shot him was long gone; but he couldn't get words out. I knew better than to call the cops; instead I called my cousin. By the time he got there, my father was just a body. A few of my cousins grabbed me and threw me in a car. We drove through the night; I woke in Mexico." Diego exhaled as he finished. He had never told the story to anyone after that night and it was a surprising relief.

Anna squeezed his hand as she spoke softly. "How old were you when it happened."

"Fifteen." Diego replied steadily. He was taken aback by the fact that he wasn't more emotional. For so long after his father's death, thoughts alone of the man had caused him to go into slight depressions where he didn't speak to anyone for days. But it was different now.

She used her thumb to rub circles on his hand just as they passed a Walgreens. Anna squeezed his hand quickly this time. "Hey do you mind if I run in, I need to get some more toothpaste?"

Diego nodded. "Sure why not? We're already here."

They walked in still holding hands and Anna couldn't be happier. She had never taken Diego for the holding hands type but their hands seemed to fit so well together and after everything that he had just told her she felt a strong connection with him. That's when she saw the photo booth. Her eyes lit up and she pulled on his arm. "Let's get our picture made!"

"Anna . . ." Diego said as he started to protest but as soon as Anna turned her eyes on his, he couldn't resist. "Okay fine." He said stepping into the booth.

Anna reached into her purse and pulled out a few ones, placing them into the machine and setting everything up. "Okay, so we get four pictures, get ready."

"Wait, what do I do?" Diego asked panicking a little.

"Smile." Anna said quickly as the machine counted down.

Diego did as she asked and a bright light flashed. After a few seconds the machine starting counting again. He heard Anna call out to make a funny face and did his famous impression of their old Chemistry teacher as she stuck her tongue out. Anna had been right, this was fun. Impulsively he reached over and started tickling her, the next flash catching them mid laughter. Diego realized that they were quite close and he reached out to brush a piece of hair that had gotten stuck to her lip gloss off her face before bending in and kissing her. The light flashed and the machine instructed them that they were done but instead of stopping their kissing Diego pulled her onto his lap.

Anna finally broke away breathless and looked at herself in the reflective glass of the booth. "Oh my God, Diego I look like a hot mess."

"You are." He said smirking.

Anna groaned but shot him a secret smile. "Oh shut up." She said fixing her hair quickly. As she climbed out of the photo booth she reached down and picked up their pictures smiling as she tore the strip down the middle. "Here's your copy." She said handing Diego the photos.

Diego smiled too. The pictures were perfect. He slid them in his back pocket and took her hand once more. "You ready to get back?"

"Sure." She said nodding as they paid for her toothpaste and got back on the street. They were to the hotel within minutes; giggling as they goofed off with the rotating door. Anna's laughter came to an abrupt halt as they spun out of the door and into someone. "Excuse me, we are so sorry." She said looking up, surprised to see that the person that they had run into was Chuck Bass. "Chuck hey!" She said smiling.

Chuck didn't return her smile as he brushed off his suit. From the looks of it not only had Anna stood him up, but she had stood him up to go out with another guy. "Are you on a date?" He asked, unable to keep the jealousy from his voice. He noticed the scowl on the face of the Hispanic boy she was with. Clearly, he wasn't the only one who had noticed the envy in his voice; the other boy had notice as well. Chuck studied the boy, or more precisely man's, eyes and noticed them fill with hatred.

"Yes actually." Anna said, still smiling but slightly confused. Chuck looked rather mad and she had no idea why. "Chuck, this is Diego Gutierrez. . ."

"Her boyfriend." Diego said interrupting as he wrapped an arm around Anna's waist.

Anna looked at him surprised at his use of the word but also extremely happy. She wasn't sure that Diego would want that kind of label but since he had given it to himself she confirmed it as she looked back at Chuck. "Yes, my boyfriend." She looked back at Diego. "Diego this is Chuck Bass, he owns the hotel and he stays in a suite on our floor."

Chuck watched the young man's eyes change. There was still a slight bit of anger present but it had seemed to be overrun by surprise, recognition, and respect. Chuck didn't understand until he heard the man's name. "Gutierrez? Are you Miguel Gutierrez's son?" He asked almost in awe.

Diego nodded. He of course knew Chuck Bass; he simply hadn't seen him since the last time he was in New York. Chuck's dad was majorly involved with their crime family. They had invested money in him when he was first going into the business and he had capitalized on it; starting quite the potent business relationship. He had been thirteen years old at the time he left New York and Chuck had certainly changed. "It's been a long time Chuck." He said reaching out a hand.

Chuck immediately grasped Diego's hand. He hadn't forgotten about Anna but this was almost too strange of a coincidence. "It most certainly has. What happened to you anyway?"

Finally, Anna managed to recover from the fact that it appeared that Diego and Chuck were not meeting for the first time and interrupted. "Wait does someone want to fill me in on how you two know each other?"

Chuck turned to her unable to wipe the awe off his face; it looked odd with a smirk. "I could ask the same of the two of you."

Anna shrugged. "We went to high school together in Texas; we're both going to Columbia this year. Now you two." She said looking back and forth between them.

After exchanging a look with Diego, Chuck spoke. "Our fathers did business together once upon a time. We saw quite a bit of each other growing up."

Diego laughed. "Remember that nanny of yours, the one from Norway?"

"How could I forget? She sure did teach us a lot." Chuck said with a knowing smirk. Her name had been Brigitte and she had only been three years older than them at the time but after his messy first with Georgina she had been the one to teach him all the pleasures of intimacy. "The last time I heard from you, your father was moving the family to Texas. My father wasn't too fond of your brother so when you left our business together ceased."

Anna didn't know what to say. Everything these guys were talking about had happened in a time when she knew neither of them; while they seemed to know each other quite well.

Diego gave a smug smile before shaking his head. "As Anna said earlier, we went to high school in Texas together. It took me two years to get her to go on a date with me but we'll both be at Columbia in the fall."

"I see." Chuck said, coming down from the excitement of seeing Diego again when he remembered that Diego was Anna's_ boyfriend._ "Well I really should be going; I have plans."

"Of course. It's was good seeing you." Diego said. But Chuck was already walking away. He turned to Anna as they made their way to the elevator. "That was weird I haven't seen Chuck Bass in seven years."

Anna was trying not to be grumpy but she couldn't seem to help it. She found herself extremely and unexplainably jealous of the boys' prior relationship. "It was weirder that he just took off like that. Not to mention rude."

As they stepped in the elevator Diego had to ask if only because he remembered Chuck Bass too well. "How do you know Chuck?" Even as he spoke there was a growing knot in his stomach that he had no way of explaining. It was like a memory nagging at his brain that he couldn't quite grasp. There were pieces of a puzzle that were just a little off.

Anna shrugged and gave the same answer that she had given Jenny. "We ran into each other on our floor." After a pause she continued. "You remember that guy you saw me with this morning?" When Diego nodded, she continued. "That was Chuck's adoptive brother."

"Really?" Diego asked with a cocked eyebrow. "When I knew him he was an only child."

"I think it's a pretty recent thing." Anna said with a smile. "Actually he has several siblings; two adopted two step, and one half adopted, half step."

Diego looked at her curiously. "How does that even happen?"

"No idea." She said with a laugh.

Diego looked at her closely. "I've actually been meaning to ask you about that guy, should I be worried?"

At this Anna actually laughed. She placed a hand on Diego's chest. "No, definitely not. In fact I'm fairly certain Eric's gay."

"Good because I didn't want to have to beat one of your new friends up." Diego said lowly as he leaned towards her.

Anna closed the distance and gave him a kiss. Their kissing quickly turned passionate as they stumbled out of the elevator. Chemistry had never been a problem for them. She broke away slightly. "Where's your room?"

Diego was surprised but wasn't about to question her. "This one." He said fumbling as he inserted the key and they continued stumbling into the room.

Anna pulled the pins out of her hair letting it fall around her shoulders as Diego pulled his feet out of his shoes. He couldn't quite believe that this was happening. He watched as Anna kicked off her heals and turned around in front of him. She held her hair out of the way as she turned her head. "Unzip me."

Diego complied immediately. As he slid the zipper down, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. When she turned back around in only her underwear, she made quick work of his shirt and pants before shoving him onto the bed. They continued kissing, and touching, and she was breathing so heavily that she thought she might hyperventilate. She broke away, "I don't want to have sex." She spoke in spurts unable to keep a constant airflow.

Diego tried not to be disappointed. "Okay." He said lowly as he averted his eyes.

Anna turned his head to face hers. "It's just I'm a virgin and I want my first time to be special."

Diego was shocked. "You and Jackson never?"

"He wanted to, I didn't." Anna said quietly.

"Okay." Diego said, as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him. He would never push her to do anything she didn't want to do. She was the one thing in his life that he gave a damn about and he wouldn't do anything to scare her or push her away.

Anna almost laughed. "We don't have to stop this though. Just no sex."

At that Diego smiled a mischievous smile before diving under the covers.

* * *

Anna removed his arm from around her gently as she climbed out of bed. He looked so innocent, sleeping there in the bed. Looking at him right then, no one would believe that he was dangerous at all. It made her smile.

She didn't actually want to leave, it felt good sleeping in his arms; but she knew Cassie would freak out if she wasn't there in the morning. As she left she couldn't help but wonder what Diego was dreaming about with such a smile on his face.

_Diego was lounging on the couch of the Bass apartment. One thing was for sure; Chuck had the nicest furniture and the hottest nanny's. "Seriously amigo, we should have a party here." _

_Chuck shrugged from his place on the chair. "I'm down but we'd have to do it when my father's out of town on business. He says I get my own suite when I start high school so then it's going to be a non-stop party; too bad you'll already be in Texas." _

_Diego groaned. "I know. I wish my father would just let me stay here with Alejandro; but he insists on taking me to learn the business with him."_

_"Sounds like my dad." Chuck said with an eye roll. "What do you suppose they talk about anyway?" He asked gesturing towards the closed door of his father's office._

_This time it was Diego who shrugged. "Business stuff I suppose. I mean I know my dad's people look out for your dad. Kind of like body guards. But other than that I don't really know." _

_There was a knock on the door that startled them both. "I guess. I should get that." Chuck said as he started for the door. But it swung open before he got close. There were only two people who had keys to this apartment that would do that Nate Archibald and Blair Waldorf. It appeared to be the latter. Chuck turned quickly to Diego. "She can't know who you are."_

_Diego nodded. There was always a lot of secrecy when he was with Chuck. People weren't supposed to know that his family was friends with a gang family. It would look bad for both of them. But he couldn't take his eyes off the girl who had walked into the room. She looked their age, thirteen maybe fourteen and her presence commanded attention. Her chocolate curls fell down her back and her eyes sparkled like she knew a secret. _

_She started out talking the second she walked into the room. "Chuck I need your help. Melanie Davenport must be destroyed and you'll never guess what Serena's done now . . . Oh." She said coming to a stop in front of the two boys. "You aren't alone." _

_Diego noticed the way that Chuck straightened up in front of the girl. If he didn't know Chuck better, he would have guessed that he was enamored with her. But it was Chuck Bass; he didn't try to impress anyone. _

_Chuck shook his head slightly. "Blair, this is Diego Gutierrez, he's a friend of mine. Diego, meet Blair Waldorf, also a friend." _

_Diego inclined his head. "Nice to meet you."_

_Blair looked at him, with an eye of scrutiny, observing his appearance before finally saying. "You too." She turned her head to Chuck. "Should I come back later?" _

_Chuck shrugged "That's up to you. You can stay if you want." _

_Blair looked between Diego and Chuck once more biting her lip before nodding. "Okay sure." _

_She took a seat on the couch next to Diego. "Okay so here's the deal . . ." _

_As she spoke Diego hung onto her every word. He didn't know what it was about the girl but there was a strange charisma that pulled him in. He had never heard a girl plot and scheme like this one and it was refreshing to say the least. When his father came out of Bart Bass's office he said his goodbyes but he walked away knowing that he wasn't going to be able to get Blair Waldorf out of his head, especially not those eyes._

Diego sat up in bed, in a cold sweat; the vision of Blair's eyes still in his mind. He knew those eyes. That hadn't just been a dream, it was a memory; a memory of the day he met Blair Waldorf. It wasn't possible was it? He had always thought that Anna looked like her; from the moment he had met her. The same sparkle was there in the eyes. Of course he had entertained the thought from time to time that Annabelle Carmichael-Getty could be Blair Waldorf; after all she had no clue who she really was. But he had always thought that the idea was ridiculous. He didn't even know what Blair Waldorf would have looked like five years from when he had met her.

He reached over and picked up the pictures of them that were lying on his bedside table. It only took one short glance to be certain. The girl from the dream was the girl who had been next to him in bed when he fell asleep. What was he going to do? He couldn't tell her. If he did or if she remembered who she was, she would never give him the time of day again. He would lose her completely. He could never let her find out.

**

* * *

A/N: SHOCKER!! Lol. Hope you enjoyed. **

**Reviews are always appreciated**

**xoxo**

**kate **


	11. Conversations Miscommunications and Lies

**A/N: I'm BAAAAAACKK! Still super busy but I couldn't stay away. Thanks to all of you guys for the wonderful reviews, you make my day**! PhoenixTears95, BrittyKay247, DewiMadrim, MissCharstar, illusion100, Chris2035, flipped, KillerNewton, DamNDomsMommy, rainbowbutterflie, ggloverxx19, CarolinaGirl21, Reader120, iluvcohen, dmnd04, teddybearslove, LC-LOVES-CB, LitPrincess2187, Butterflies In My Stomach, moccamary, simran-es, decemberellia, swishpot, linneaw, **and** GossipGirl27 ***hugs***

**I would like to note that if you have actual criticisms of my writing, feel free to review and let me know; I am always looking to improve. However, if you are just being mean and making comments such as what I replied to a few chapters ago, than I would really rather you didn't. I would much rather receive no reviews than ridiculous ones. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

* * *

Anna couldn't stop smiling as she got out of the shower; she had been in such a good mood since her date last night. The smile stayed on her face while she was getting dressed; she even found herself singing and dancing. The last time that she had been this happy was on the day that her boyfriend had told her he loved her.

Suddenly, Anna froze in front of the mirror. She had this distinct knowledge of being unnaturally happy the day that someone FINALLY told her that they loved her. That when she heard the words, it was something that she had been waiting for a very long time. But the day Jackson told her that he loved her was one of the worst days of her life. It was the day that she had tried to kill herself.

Anna didn't know what was going on anymore. This morning she thought that a boy had told her he loved her and it had been one of the best days of her life and last night she thought that she had once comforted a boy whose father had died . . .in a car accident. The boy's father had died in a car accident. Perhaps it was the boy in the dream, the one on the airplane. Every time she had the dream she heard him tell her that he loved her. It had to be him.

Just as she was about to continue getting ready, Anna realized that she hadn't dreamed of the boy last night. Not at all. As if on cue Cassie walked in the room.

"What gives?" Cassie asked as she flounced into Anna's room without circumstance. She had woken up moments ago to the realization that Anna hadn't screamed in the middle of the night and therefore Cassie had slept until morning for the first time since they had arrived in New York. "No dreaming last night?"

"Nope." Anna replied nonchalantly as she adjusted the straps of her sundress in the mirror. She knew that it was difficult if not impossible to hide something from Cassie but she didn't really want her to know that she went on a date with Diego.

Cassie's eyes narrowed immediately. "Why?" She asked skeptically. Anna didn't just not dream. This had been going on for a year now without a single night of cessation.

"No clue." Anna said shrugging. If Cassie knew about Diego, it would only lead to an argument.

"Fine." Cassie wanted to ask more but she backed off; clearly Anna wanted to keep something from he and for today, she just might let her. "How was your night?"

Anna smiled at the fact that Cassie was willing to change the subject. "It was good."

Cassie smiled in return. She was glad that Anna was making friends in New York; Cassie couldn't help but think that some of those friends might eventually help her figure out who she was. "So you had fun with Jenny?"

Anna had almost forgotten that Cassie was still under the impression that she had gone out with Jenny last night. "Yeah it was a lot of fun. But we ran into Chuck and it was super weird."

"Really? How so?" Cassie instantly felt guilty at the mention of Chuck's name. She was glad that Blair was making new friends but last night when she had seen the flowers for Anna she had done something rash without thinking. Upon reading the invitation to dinner from Chuck, Cassie had hidden the card; thinking that Anna didn't need to get that close to someone she had just met. Thinking back it seemed like a silly thing to do; Anna had the right to know that Chuck had sent her a card, she just felt so protective of Anna after last year.

"He was mean. He acted as though I had done something to make him furious." Anna said still confused over Chuck's behavior the night before.

Cassie knew that eventually Anna would find out that Chuck had sent a card with the flowers so she knew she should probably just come clean now; at least partially. "Actually, I think I might know why." Cassie said as she walked over to the desk and pulled out a card. "I found this on the floor yesterday. I assumed you had seen it." Cassie of course had known that Anna hadn't read the card since she had actually been here when the flowers arrived.

Anna took the card from Cassie and read it quickly.

_Annabelle,_

_I've found that our meeting was extremely memorable as I can't seem to get you out of my head. I would like nothing more than to have the pleasure of your company for dinner tonight. My suite, nine o'clock?_

_Chuck Bass_

"Damn it." Anna cursed as she flipped over the card and spotted his cell phone number on the back. That's why Chuck was mad. He thought that she had seen the note and stood him up for another guy. She would have been pissed off too. She looked back at Cassie before turning towards the door, calling behind her. "I've got to go talk to Chuck."

Cassie stood there as her friend left. She only wanted what was best for Anna and she was a little afraid that Anna might be getting in over her head at the moment; but Anna was a big girl and Cassie couldn't look after her for forever, she had to let her make her own mistakes.

* * *

Chuck was lounging on his sofa thinking about the failure that was last night and stewing over the fact that Anna hadn't even acknowledged the fact that she had blown off his invitation for dinner when there was a knock at his door. He assumed that it was Erik, ready to make up for their missed breakfast of yesterday so he didn't hesitate to open it. He was caught off guard by the appearance of Anna in front of him. "What are you doing here?" He practically spat. Chuck was angrier now than he had been last night.

Anna sighed. "Can I come in?" She knew that in most cases it would seem weird for a girl to invite herself into the apartment of a guy she barely knew but for some reason it didn't.

Chuck's mind was at war; say yes and it was like forgiving her for not even thinking to call him or say no and quite possibly not see her again. "I don't see why you'd want to come in. You certainly didn't last night."

"Gosh darn it Chuck, I didn't see the card until this morning." Anna said crossing her arms emphatically.

Chuck raised his eyebrows on hearing the words 'gosh darn it' come out of her mouth but no matter how cute she might have just sounded he wasn't about to let her off the look with such a lame excuse. "It's not that simple to fool me Anna. You know you could have just called and told me that you had a boyfriend as opposed to acting like you never saw the card."

Anna ran a hand through her recently shortened hair as she tried to make Chuck understand. "I assumed the flowers were from Diego; he's the only one that knows that fuchsia peonies are my favorite flowers."

"They're your favorite?" Chuck asked momentarily taken off guard. He had sent them on a whim. They had been Blair's favorite too. Well at least they were her favorite her senior year; junior year it had been hydrangeas.

"Yeah." Anna asked confused. Chuck had that faraway look in his eyes again. The look that said that he wasn't there with her. The moment he snapped back, he scared her.

As Chuck managed to bring himself back to the present he forced himself to remember how he was feeling earlier; how rejected and angry Anna had made him feel as opposed to how close he felt to Blair when he was around her. "Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore. You have a boyfriend and I am sick of girls who play games."

Anna didn't know what else she could say. Chuck had clearly formed an opinion of her already. She opened her mouth to talk but he cut her off.

"Don't bother. I'm not going to believe what you say. What else should I have expected from some kind of white trash from Texas? Why don't you just go back to your boyfriend and stay away from me." Chuck said about to shut the door.

Anna held up her hand. She didn't let anyone speak to her like that. "Fine I'll go if that's what you want; but I have something to say first." She said, speaking with conviction. "I don't care what you believe; I didn't see your note until this morning. I'm not sure what kind of girls you're used to being around but I'm not like that; so don't act like you know me." As she finished speaking she turned quickly on her heels and walked away from Chuck, who remained in the doorway.

As Chuck finally managed to recover from Anna's scolding and shut the door, he couldn't help but feel remorseful about some of the things that he had said. She wasn't white trash and more than likely, it appeared that she wasn't a liar either. It didn't make sense that she wouldn't have at least called him if she wasn't going to show up. Granted they had only met once but she was making friends with all of his siblings so they were bound to be seeing each other around; she wouldn't have wanted to make any enemies.

Most of all, he felt badly for judging her. He didn't have a right to judge her actions when they had just met. Anna was right, he didn't actually know her. Sure he knew her name and her favorite flower, but he couldn't tell anyone what kind of music she liked, what movies always made her cry, he didn't even know what she wanted to major in. She really wasn't Blair and that was something that he still wasn't used to.

He wanted to know her more now than he had before. Yes she looked like Blair but he wasn't sure that that was the only thing. Something else about her seemed to call her to him. He and Blair were friends long before they were more maybe that was the way to go about things with Anna too. But if he was going to even managed to be friends with her, he really owed her an apology.

* * *

Anna laughed at something Lina said as they sat down at the restaurant. "Seriously? Sam really tried to bypass security at the Empire State Building?"

"Yes!" Lina said laughing as well. "I don't know what she was thinking! She got us all thrown out."

Anna was still laughing. "Lina, it's Sam she wasn't thinking."

Lina nodded emphatically and their laughter eventually simmered down. Leaving a strange pregnant silence. After all they were here for a reason. "So why did you want to talk to me?" Lina finally asked.

Anna looked away. She had of course asked Lina to go to dinner with her because she needed someone to talk to; someone that knew her. Even if Lina wasn't going to be helpful in sorting the situation out, she knew at least that she would listen. "I'm dating Diego."

Lina's eyes widened in shock and her eyebrows shot up. "Seriously?"

"Yes. Seriously and officially." Anna said unable to stop a smile from appearing on her features.

"Wow." Lina was still in shock. "I have to say that I didn't see that one coming. I thought that you hated Diego."

Anna smirked fondly remembering her numerous attempts at ignoring Diego, at pushing him away; all of which proved futile. "I wanted to. I thought he wasn't good for me; I thought that he was dangerous."

"He is dangerous." Lina said in what would be considered a low voice for her.

"I know." Anna replied. "But not with me. He looks out for me, he always puts me first. He makes me happy."

Lina smiled. It was true. She hadn't seen Anna as happy as she looked right now since the day that she met her. "Then I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." Anna said as the waiter approached to get their order. After he left Anna turned back to Lina. "There's a problem though. There's this guy Chuck . . ."

"The one that owns the hotel?" Lina asked interrupting.

Anna nodded. Before continuing. "He sent me flowers with a note asking me to dinner last night but I didn't get the card until this morning. He's furious with me."

Lina shrugged not quite understanding. "So?" Anna blushed and Lina began to catch on. "Oh, you like him?"

Anna nodded slightly. "I shouldn't, I know that I shouldn't. I don't know him at all and I have Diego who's so completely fantastic. But I do. I can't stop thinking about Chuck. The way that he unknowingly sent me my favorite flower, the way he kissed my hand the first time we met, the way I'm breathless just by looking into his eyes. It's crazy I've only talked to him three times in my whole life, yet somehow I feel drawn to him."

"Did you ever think that he was someone from your past?" Lina questioned gently, not wanting to stir up too many emotions in Anna.

"Yeah, I thought about it but nothing seems to fit. I actually look like someone that Chuck and his friends used to know but she isn't dead, she just left town." Anna explained.

Lina shrugged again. "So? How long ago did she leave? When was the last time they saw her? Why haven't you been asking more questions?" She was a little thrown as to why Anna wasn't being more proactive about all of this. After all she wanted to know who she was, why wasn't she working to figure it out?

Lina had some good points. There were more questions she probably should have asked but every time Blair was mentioned everyone kind of freaked out. "They are pretty sensitive about the topic and I don't really want to upset them. Plus it seems as though Chuck is actually a part of Diego's past, not mine."

"Really?" Lina asked curiously. Not even noticing that Anna had changed the subject.

"Apparently their father's knew each other back when Diego lived in New York." Anna said leaning forward a little. She was glad that this topic interested Lina; she really didn't want to talk anymore about the possibility of her being Blair because she was fairly certain that someone would have mentioned it by now if Blair was dead. "Apparently Diego and Chuck were pretty good friends."

Lina scrunched up her nose. "Well that kind of throws out my theory about you knowing Chuck before the accident anyway."

This time it was Anna who was confused. "How?"

Lina lifted her shoulders as though it was obvious. "Because if you would have known Chuck, chances are you would have known Diego and Diego would have mentioned that by now, don't cha think?"

Anna was seriously surprised. She couldn't think of the last time that Lina had had that kind of light bulb moment, but the girl was definitely right. She would have likely known Diego too if she had known Chuck and Diego definitely would have said something by now. He didn't even look at her like he recognized her.

* * *

Diego walked sullenly back to his room. He still wasn't quite sure what he was going to do. He knew that he wasn't going to tell Ann-Blair what he knew but whether he would take an active part in making sure she didn't find out was undetermined. It was coincidence that the elevator door opened and Chuck was standing waiting to get in. "Hey man." Diego said with a smile as he exited. He expected Chuck to get in the elevator and go on but instead he stepped back.

"Hey Diego, do you think we could talk for a second?" Chuck asked almost warily. This was going to be a weird conversation but he felt as though it would be less weird to ask Diego these things than it would to ask Anna.

"Sure." Diego said with a shrug, immediately anxious about what Chuck might want to know. He could already assume that it must be about Anna. It had to really freak him out that she looked so much like Blair. Of course for all he knew Chuck and Blair hadn't even been friends all that recently.

Chuck continued to move aside until they were away from the elevator and against the wall. "It's about Anna."

"Okay." Diego said leadingly. "Ask away."

"It's just; she looks like someone I used to know." Chuck began. When Diego nodded encouragingly Chuck continued. "How long have you known her?"

Diego knew that he had to make a choice in that moment. Either he would lie and tell Chuck he had known Anna for a long time, or he would tell the truth and potentially give Chuck all the information that he needed to figure out that Anna was Blair, which was clearly the information that he was fishing for. "Seven years. I've known her for seven years." Diego made his choice, except in this instance, he didn't have to lie. He actually had known her for seven years. After all, he met Blair when he was thirteen, right before he moved to Texas.

Chuck nodded, trying to keep the disappointment from his features. "Oh. Well I suppose that's pretty much all of my questions then. If you've known her since you moved to Texas then I can't have known her another way."

"Sorry man." Diego said shrugging off the wall. "I actually have some things to take care of, but since I'm back in New York we should hang out, get reacquainted."

Chuck nodded again. "Of course. I'm sorry for bothering you." He was still a little dejected from this news. It proved once and for all that Anna couldn't have been Blair. So as Chuck pressed the elevator button again and Diego walked off he tried to tell his mind that.

* * *

Anna and Lina were on desert when a shadow darkened their table causing Anna to look up into the face of none other than Chuck Bass. "Stalk me much?"

Chuck gulped back the words that were about to escape his mouth at Anna's own words that were so similar to those he heard Blair utter at her seventeenth birthday party. "It's my hotel Anna. I came for a drink and saw you."

Anna kept her eyes on Chuck. He needed to know that the way he treated her earlier was not okay. He didn't even let her try to explain before judging her and jumping to conclusions. "No part of that sentence explains why you would feel the need to talk to me. We finished our conversation earlier."

Chuck didn't break her gaze as he readied himself for what he was about to say. "I know."

"Then what are you doing here talking interrupting my dinner?" Anna asked self righteously. She was utilizing the sharp tongue that she usually kept in check to give Chuck a second verbal lashing.

"I'm here to apologize." Chuck said softly. "I was wrong and I'm sorry."

Anna's mouth practically fell open. That was the last thing that she had expected to come out of Chuck's mouth.

Seeing the shock on Anna's face Chuck continued. "I felt drawn to you and I thought you stood me up. It's not something I am used to. I was jealous; another unexpected emotion, so I lashed out. Diego's a good guy and I would like for us to be friends."

Anna was still in the midst of a shocked silence at the words that the boy who Wikipedia proclaimed the biggest playboy in Manhattan apologized to her, until she felt a kick under the table. She flipped her head towards Lina, whose eyes were silently urging her to speak up. As she turned back to Chuck, she did just that. "I would like that too."

Both of them smiled, as they realized that they would have to settle for friendship for the time being. Neither one realizing that their thoughts were echoing one another.

**Oh the drama that a new addition can cause. Apparently the B look alike is none other than Anna Carmichael-Getty of Houston, Texas set to start Columbia next week; boring. Or at least she would be if not for her look and the fact that she's already made friends with the UES royalty. My sources report that she's also brought back an old friend of ours Diego Gutierrez to fill the role of boy toy; yet from what I hear Chuck's not too happy about that one. Oh my, what mischief could this bring, as for me, I hope is scandalous. Things around here had gotten rather monotonous, maybe these newcomers can shake things up. **

**you know you love me**

**xoxo  
gossip girl **

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A/N: Not quite as exciting as last chapter but I hope you still enjoyed it. **

**Reviews are always appreciated**

**xoxo  
kate**


	12. Why Cassie's in NYC and Why S Wasn't

**A/N: So I suck more than the CW for not airing more Gossip Girl episodes until March. I'm aware of this sad sad fact. For those of you still interested in the story, I am so sorry that I waited so long to update and I hope you still enjoy it. That being said, on with the next chapter. **

**Thanks to all of you guys for the wonderful reviews, you make my day**! Sugarfusion, DewiMadrim, swishpot, addieXmitsume, kaypie, BrittyKay247, LC-LOVES-CB, Madelinex, rainbowbutterflie, simran-es, CarolinaGirl21, ggfanfic-fan, chelle2911, sscohen, and LitPrincess2787. ***hugs*  
With a special thanks to chairlovforver for reminding me that I do this for you guys and I've been neglecting you.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

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"And then there were two." Cassie said as they stepped out of the cab in front of the Palace.

Anna looked at Cassie and squeezed her hand. They had left Lina and Sam at Grand Central only a few hours ago; this was the first time the four of them were really going to be separated since the day they met. While it was going to be challenging for each of them Anna knew that she had just lost half of her support system. Thank goodness, she still had Cassie; she wasn't sure that she could do any of this without her.

As Cassie felt Anna squeeze her hand she looked towards her friend. She could see the worry etched in Anna's face even as she tried to hide it. "I'm not going anywhere." She said softly, knowing that what Anna needed right now was reassurance that she wasn't alone. They had made it through dinner on sheer adrenaline; Cassie had made certain that the topic of conversation was always centered around starting class and moving into the dorms in three days as opposed to letting Anna dwell on the fact that Lina and Sam were gone for quite a while. Anna did her best to act like nothing bothered her, that she was strong, that she could handle anything. And people believed that she could because for the most part Anna wore her heart and her emotions on her sleeve, there was never a reason to doubt her. It was only Cassie who had any idea how easily Anna could be shaken. Being alone was Anna's greatest fear. Of course she could be by herself. It wasn't that kind of alone that scared her, physicality wasn't a big deal, it was the thought that no one could be there, that no one understood her, that no one would catch her if she fell that drove Anna to her darkest places. For the past year it had been Cassie's duty to make sure that Anna never felt like that again.

"Thank you." Anna replied, giving Cassie a look that clearly said that she was grateful. Cassie was the only one that knew everything, except now not even Cassie knew everything. She had no idea of Anna's growing feelings for both Diego and Chuck, or the fact that she and Diego were actually in a relationship. "I'm such an awful friend Cass. You have to spend all of your time looking out for me and I've done nothing to help you find what you came to New York for."

Cassie shook her head slightly. "I haven't really been looking. There's going to be plenty of time for that later, the school year hasn't even started yet. If what I'm looking for is here, I'll find him. Especially with Diego here, that shouldn't be too difficult." It had taken her a long time to find out that the man she had been desperately looking for was linked to Diego, but as soon as she knew she did her best to track him down. She had known all along that Alex was from New York and since Diego was from here and had returned here, it only made since that Alex had never left New York.

Anna tried to ensure that Cassie couldn't see the blush on her cheeks. This was getting too complicated even for her. She knew that eventually Cassie would want her to ask Diego where his brother was. Cassie deserved at least a conversation from Alejandro Gutierrez but she also knew all of the drama that would ensue immediately following any confrontation between the two. Anna sighed audibly. "Of course, it shouldn't be too hard at all, assuming that Diego is still in contact with him."

Cassie nodded. "I want to find him on my own. I don't want to have to use Diego to get to him, but I will if I have to." She was going to do whatever it took to find what she was looking for. It was a promise she had made to herself the night she figured out just who she was looking for and it was a promise that she was going to keep.

Anna smiled slightly at Cassie's determination and resolve; it was something that she wished she possessed. Anna knew that Cassie was probably just as scared about finding Alex as Anna was about figuring out who she was; but unlike her, Cassie would never let fear get in her way of getting what she wanted. Anna had realized over the past couple of days that she was allowing herself to make excuses for why she wasn't asking more questions of the people that she encountered. Why hadn't she at least asked Blair's last name? She was going to make some changes in the way she was dealing with things. She would push her fear about what would happen aside and she was going to find out who she was.

* * *

"Oh look, I beat you again." Jenny said smirking at Eric as he laid down his controller.

Eric groaned in frustration. "You have got to be kidding me?"How was it possible that he had lost every single game of Halo IV that they had played today? Jenny was a girl; she wasn't supposed to beat him at video games.

Serena laughed as she walked into the kitchen. "Did Jenny beat you again Eric?" She asked tauntingly. She might still be mad at both Jenny and Eric but she did live with him and as long as the subject of Anna wasn't breached it wasn't too difficult to deal.

"TEN TIMES!" Eric said exasperated.

Jenny laughed and stood up, walking towards the kitchen as well, she needed to rinse out her dishes from the delightful lunch that she and Eric had made earlier. As she reached the kitchen she threw back. "Actually it was eleven times."

This only earned another groan from Eric and Jenny and Serena both laughed, just as Chuck used the key that Eric had recently given him to open the doorway. "What's so funny?" Chuck asked, sounding almost like his old self, almost.

Serena turned to Chuck with a smile and was surprised to see Nate with him. "Jenny keeps kicking Eric's ass at Halo."

"Nice." Nate exclaimed as he gave Jenny a high five.

Chuck walked over to Eric and gave him a pat on the back. "Don't worry about it; the men in this family have never really done video games."

"So are we ready to get this little get together started, so to speak?" Serena asked her friends as she filled up several different drinks from the refrigerator. By now she knew what everyone liked.

Eric shook his head, "Not just yet. Let's give the others a few more minutes." The size of this little meeting had grown progressively larger throughout the day. It seemed as though everyone had something that they wanted to say to the group and he had been receiving texts all day asking if they could all use his apartment to talk.

Jenny looked around the room; it felt like most everyone was present. "So who are we waiting on?" She asked to the crowd as a whole.

As though her words summoned them Dan, Vanessa, and Scott walked in the room using Dan's key. Serena was so surprised that she almost dropped the glass currently in her hand. Nate was immediately by her side. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, so low that no one could hear.

Serena recovered quickly and smiled at Nate. "Of course. Everything's fine, I was just caught off guard."

Nate looked at her with a worried gaze. Serena always put on a brave face but Nate knew that seeing Scott always took her back to that summer.

Chuck's eyes narrowed at the newcomers to the party of sorts. Dan was fine, as much animosity as he once held for the guy, he was now part of the family but Vanessa and Scott no way. He didn't care who Scott's biological parents were, there was something off with that guy.

Eric looked around the room as various faces tensed up. He had feared that this might happen and knew that he needed to intervene before words were exchanged. "So, the reason that we are all here is that several of you have something you wanted to say to the rest of the group and I thought it would be best to just get it all out at once."

Jenny, who had returned to Eric's side, leaned closer to him. "A good idea?" She asked looking at the various daggers being glared throughout the room.

"In hindsight not so much but I can work with it." Eric said to her before addressing the group. "So who wants to go first?"

Serena rolled her eyes, this hadn't been meant for everyone's ears but when she was shielding herself because of Scott's presence she became quite reckless and uncaring about other things. "I just wanted to apologize to those of you that I went off on a few days ago, especially you Eric." Eric smiled and nodded, encouraging Serena to continue. "It's just that I couldn't handle seeing Anna so I made the assumption that none of you could do it either. I was wrong to try to run your lives."

"Wait, who's Anna?" Vanessa asked her confusion obvious on her features.

Everyone in the room other than Scott and Dan looked at her dumbstruck. It was Chuck who spoke, his tone so spiteful and condescending that it gave the rest of the room chills as it reminded them of the Chuck that had been absent from their lives for the past two years. "Are you seriously asking that? Do you not read Gossip Girl?"

Jenny glared at Chuck. She was glad that he seemed to be back to his old self but that was a little harsh. He simply shrugged and smirked. He was enjoying being himself again.

Vanessa shrugged as though the idea of reading Gossip Girl was ridiculous. "No, why would I? The last time we heard anything significant from her was right after graduation. So much for following us to college."

Nate couldn't help but laugh. "Well she's making up for lost time."

Dan raised his eyebrows. "Care to explain anyone?"

"Anna looks like Blair." Jenny said without hesitation. There was no reason to sugarcoat any of this. None of the people who didn't know were likely to have some kind of extreme reaction.

Scott shrugged. "So what? Blair died a long time ago, what makes this so interesting for Gossip Girl? Plus people look like other people all the time."

There was an audible intake of air throughout the room; no one could quite believe what Scott had just said. "Not this much they don't. Anna could be Blair's twin." Chuck said speaking lowly. "As for what makes it interesting, I'm going to guess that it was our reaction that really piqued Gossip Girl's interest."

Eric nodded. "We were drawn to her in a way that was more peculiar than I care to explain."

"None of us could stay away." Jenny added to the now slightly shocked faces in front of her. It was surprising to her to see just how little it had affected the newcomers at first. Sure she didn't expect much from Scott but she thought that at least Dan would have been surprised even if Vanessa hadn't been; at least now they were appropriately shocked.

It was Serena who spoke next. "So I'm sorry guys."

A chorus of 'don't worry about it' and 'no problem' filled the air until Jenny spoke again, turning towards Chuck. "I swear I just heard you say Blair's name."

Chuck gave a slight shrug. "I'm working on it."

Eric couldn't help but smile. He wouldn't elaborate on Chuck's breakthrough, the people who needed to know knew.

Dan surprised everyone by being the next to speak. "While we are sharing some news, I might as well tell you all that I transferred to Columbia."

"Oh my gosh Dan!" Jenny squealed jumping up and hugging her brother.

Serena's head snapped toward him and she smiled. "That's great Dan." She knew that he hadn't been very happy at NYU. It was a good school but Dan hadn't felt challenged. That's why he had taken a year off to intern with another one of his favorite authors. The fact that he was going back to school again made her happy.

"Thanks." He said exchanging a smile with Serena. He was glad that they were in a good place now and things with them weren't still weird.

"Speaking of news" Scott said as he took Vanessa's hand. "Vanessa and I have some of our own."

Serena and Nate looked at each other, eyes wide. Chuck had flipped his head towards Serena because she was usually good for an eye roll when it came to Scott and Vanessa, but as he did he intercepted the strange glance between Nate and Serena. What was that all about? Whatever it was had to be more interesting than the fact that Scott was about to announce that he and Vanessa were engaged. It's not like they couldn't all figure that one out.

Scott noticed that he only had the attention of one or two of the people and cleared his throat to capture that of the rest of the room; which he managed even if they gave it reluctantly. "We're engaged."

Eric, Jenny, and Dan gave overenthusiastic responses trying to make up for what they knew would be lackluster replies from their other friends. Chuck managed a weak "Congratulations" to accompany his most recent glare. He sure as hell didn't care about the relationship of Scott and Vanessa. However what Eric said next did interest him, almost as much as the reaction that it received.

"While we're on celebratory news, I wanted to go ahead and warn everyone that Mom's pregnant." Eric said with a smile on his face. He wasn't sure the kind of reaction that it would receive so he worked to give everyone time to adjust by continuing to babble. "I heard her on the phone with her doctor today, she's four weeks along."

Everyone was kind of shell shocked, but Serena looked as though she was about to pass out. Talk of pregnancies tended to do that to her ever since that summer. It certainly didn't help when Scott spoke once more. "Summer always did seem to be the time for making babies."

Nate couldn't care less about Lily and Rufus's baby, he looked strait to Serena. She was already on shaky ground because Scott was there. This kind of conversation might set her off.

Chuck looked on as Nate pulled Serena to a corner. Why was his sister so freaked out by baby talk?

"Do you want to go?" Nate asked softly.

Serena nodded. "Yeah, but I want to be by myself okay. You should stay. Tell them I didn't feel well."

Nate nodded in return and watched as Serena fled the room; noticing too late that Scott followed her. Nate wasn't sure what to do and in his slight panic he failed to notice yet another person following Serena.

Chuck wasn't about to miss whatever this drama involving Nate, Serena, and Scott was and managed to slip away amidst the conversations surrounding the baby.

"I told you that I wanted to be alone." Serena exclaimed as she felt a hand close over her arm. She had thought that Nate understood not to follow her. But as she turned around to send him back to the strange celebration, the air flew from her lungs; it wasn't Nate standing before her, it was Scott. "Let go of my arm." She said as she felt her body start to shake.

Scott's arm immediately loosened. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. My comment was out of line and I'm sorry." Scott said in a sincere voice. He wasn't entirely sure why he had said it; it clearly wasn't the best move on his part. He didn't actually want to mess with Serena's head or her emotions. His hatred for her was long gone; now he just felt remorse for all of his past indiscretions.

Serena couldn't help the anger that she felt at his words. "Your comment was out of line?" She asked snarkily before replying. "Your presence in my life is out of line." Scott appeared wounded by her comment and it only further fueled her anger. "After what you did to me you have no right to be any part of my life, or the life of any of my friends. Yet you have the audacity to show up at my little brother's suite, purposefully upset me, and then offer a half-assed apology. I seriously don't get your MO."

Scott shook his head slightly. "When are you going to forget about that mess Serena? It was two years ago and I've apologized a thousand times."

The slap that Serena let loose rang throughout the hallway. She could feel the sting of it on her hand but she ignored it as she continued her tirade. "I will never forgive you for that summer, much less forget about it. You don't even realize what you actually did cost me. I wasn't here for my friends and family when they needed me the most. They all think that I'm some kind of selfish bitch who was too involved in her own life, too narcissistic, to care that her best friend was missing. And if you think that the fact that it was two years ago would make a difference to any of them then you are welcome to walk right back in there and tell them just what happened between us. I'm sure Vanessa would just be dying to marry you then." Serena finished shooting him the most Blair like look that she could muster.

"You can't blame that on me Serena; you could have had an abortion and gone home. Going through with the pregnancy was your choice." Scott said narrowing his eyes. "Besides if you were going to tell any of them, you wouldn't have waited until now to do it."

This time as Serena went to smack him, she wasn't fast enough and he caught her arm. When she spoke it was through gritted teeth. "You knew that I was your half sister, you knew the whole time. Yet you didn't bother to tell me until it was too late to terminate the pregnancy. So yes it is your fault. As for whether or not I would tell, you seem to actually be a halfway decent guy to everyone but me but I swear to God if you do one thing to hurt any of them I'll publish an article in the freaking New York Times telling the world just what you did to me." Scott stood there slightly shocked and she jerked her arm away once more. "Now for the last time, don't speak to me again." Serena proclaimed before stomping off.

Chuck watched from a side hallway as Serena disappeared before quickly moving further into the hallway to avoid being seen by Scott as he returned to the party. What the hell had he just witnessed? Serena had a baby and Scott was the father, what kind of family was this? And apparently Nate knew about it; he was too quick to protect Serena from Scott for there to be any other explanation. So many things were explained at this discovery. Why Serena hadn't come home when Blair went missing, why Serena freaked out at seeing Anna, why Serena freaked out at seeing Scott, and why Serena and Nate had become so close? It filled in all the blanks. Chuck's first instinct was to beat the shit out of Scott but he knew that there was some reason that Nate hadn't done so yet. Serena clearly didn't want anyone finding out about this, so for today he would return to the party and bide his time but Scott was not going to get away with this unpunished; no one screwed with his family and got away with it.

* * *

"So what are we going to do now that we don't have Lina and Sam here to drag us all over the city?" Anna asked with a smile as she opened the door to her room. After their conversation outside the building, she knew that she was going to be okay; that she was finally capable of doing what she came to New York to do.

Cassie was in the process of smiling at Anna until she saw past her into the room. "Sam what are you doing here?"

Anna snapped her head quickly to see that sure enough Sam was standing in front of the mirror in what appeared to be going out attire. "Hey guys, so I was thinking we hit up 1 OAK tonight then move over to Marquee."

Anna and Cassie walked into the room dumbstruck. Cassie appeared to be in too much shock at seeing the friend that they had dropped off at Grand Central only a couple of hours ago, standing in their room; so it was Anna who took over the questioning. "Okay sure, but what are you doing here?"

"Oh you know, I figured I'd spend a couple more days in New York so I convinced the lady at the front desk that I was you and got her to give me another key." Sam replied as she put on mascara. "You know they really should tighten security here, just about anyone could get into your room."

Anna and Cassie exchanged a look before Cassie finally spoke with narrowed eyes. "Classes at Dartmouth start tomorrow."

"So what, you know I don't care." Sam said with a shrug before spinning in front of the mirror. "Do you like my dress? I bought it on 5th after you guys left me at Grand Central."

Anna ran a hand through her hair and shot Cassie a look that clearly communicated what she was feeling at the moment. "This is Dartmouth Sam. You've been working towards it your entire life; don't screw it up now."

Sam turned to Anna with a perplexed expression. "Don't be silly Annie everything's fine." As she quit speaking she turned away from her friends.

As Cassie looked between her two friends she knew that she was going to have to do something. There was something really off here. Just as she was about to say something she saw a change come over Anna's features.

Anna stepped forward. "Clearly everything's not fine, _Sammy._ Now why don't you tell me why you're really still in New York and not at Dartmouth?" She had realized that Cassie was about to take charge of the situation and for once Anna realized that this was something that she could handle without Cassie's help. Or at least she thought she could until Sam whipped around to face her with tears pouring down her cheeks.

"I didn't get in." Were the only words Sam spoke but they were enough to cause Anna and Cassie's jaws to hit the floor.

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**A/N: As always I hope you guys enjoyed the update. (And yeah Scott is a total creep)  
**

**Reviews are always appreciated**

**xoxo  
kate**


	13. Reality Bites

**A/N: I think this might turn out to be one of my more popular chapters ;) Enjoy. **

**Thanks to all of you guys for the wonderful reviews, you make my day! **BrittyKay247, chelle2911, sugarfusion, chairlovforever, ronan03, Lalai, ggff-fan, annablake, rainbowbutterflie, dmnd04, CarolinaGirl21, Wilwarinya, and LitPrincess2787. ***hugs***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

* * *

Cassie recovered first from the blow and reached out to hug Sam. "Aww sweetie, I am so sorry. Why didn't you tell us before?"

Anna was still standing there shocked. This was something that she had never seen coming. Sure Sam wasn't the smartest of the Fab Four, but her grades had been pretty high, she was involved in lots of extra-curriculars, and her parents were both Dartmouth alumni. In fact all of Sam's family had gone to Dartmouth except an uncle who had chosen Harvard and her brother who was currently on the football team at Texas. "Seriously Sam, you could have talked to us." Anna spoke, finally recovering from her astonishment.

Sam shook her head and shrugged as she backed out of Cassie's embrace to look at two of her closest friends. "What was I going to say? Guess what guys; I'm not going to college after all. I got waitlisted everywhere I applied. No, that doesn't exactly roll of the tongue."

Anna placed a hand on her friend's arm. "Sammie, we would have understood. We would have been there for you through all of it. We could have come up with a plan of action together." Anna said speaking like the leader they all knew she was. Anytime there was a crisis, Anna always took point. She always seemed to know the best way to get out of any situation, especially if plotting and scheming were involved.

Sam was still shaking her head. "I knew about Dartmouth back in late March but from the beginning Dartmouth was a long shot. It's one of the toughest Ivy's to get into in the first place. But I kept telling myself that it wasn't the end of the world, that I would just go somewhere else; after all Old Uncle George went to Harvard didn't he? But throughout April all of the responses came trickling in. I applied to all of the Ivies plus Georgetown, Vanderbilt, and Duke and yet not a single one accepted me. At least most had the decency to waitlist me, Harvard, Princeton, and Columbia just turned me down. Then it was summer and everyone just kind of assumed that I was going to Dartmouth so I went a long with it." Sam finished and took a seat on the bed. It felt surprisingly good to tell someone everything that had happened, even if doing so made it more real.

Cassie took a seat on one side of Sam and Anna on the other. Cassie reached out and took her friend's hand. "What do your parents think?" She asked softly.

Sam looked down and spoke to her lap. "They are so embarrassed. At first they were going to send me to Junior College as punishment but then they realized that if they did everyone would find out what an utter disappointment their daughter Samantha turned out to be and they just couldn't have that." She said finally looking back up. "So they placed a call to Dartmouth and apparently I don't have enough credits or the right credits or something. According to them I shouldn't have even been able to graduate because my attendance for some of my classes was so awful that it should have been an automatic failure. Apparently all of that partying I did sophomore and junior year finally caught up with me."

"So what does that mean?" Anna asked, always the one to want to get down to the crux of the issue at hand. She felt like an awful friend for the second time that day. First with Cassie on not helping her with Alex, now Sam who had been going through hell for the last few months and she hadn't even noticed because she had been too caught up in her own drama.

Sam looked to Anna and smiled. "It means that I have to repeat a few classes and retake the SATs. The Admissions Office at Dartmouth says that if I do and make at least a 2200 on the SATs, there will be a place for me there next fall. So when questions start being asked my parents are going to say that I decided to do a year off and intern with a fashion house in New York, meanwhile I'll actually be studying my ass off taking several of the most random classes at a private school here, Constance Billiard."

Cassie nodded. "That's not too bad I mean you were already topping 2000 on the SATs so if you actually study before you retake them it should be fine. Plus, the high school classes should be a breeze."

Anna was momentarily distracted by the mention of Constance Billiard. That's where Blair and all of her friends had gone to school, what an odd coincidence; there had to be more private schools than that in New York City right? "Why Constance?" She asked almost absentmindedly, not really thinking about the context.

"Constance?" Sam asked confused before realizing that Anna was asking why she had picked that particular private school. "Oh you mean instead of Spence or Chapin?" When Anna nodded, Sam continued. "Their headmistress, a Ms. Queller, was the most amiable to my terms of entry. The other two said that their class schedules were too structured but Constance has a brother school St. Jude's that I can take classes at if absolutely necessary."

Anna almost laughed at the thought of Sam in a class full of boys. That was trouble just waiting to happen; but she was glad that her friend had things worked out. At least now Dartmouth was still a possibility even if Sam would have preferred to go back to modeling or at very least really take a design internship. After all, the girl was artistically talented; it was a shame her parents were too caught up in themselves to realize it. Sam's heart had never been in Dartmouth, that's why she never worked towards college. From the beginning she had been hoping that her parents would wake up and realize that she didn't care about school or becoming a doctor. She loved modeling, loved fashion, she had her whole life. From the start she had wanted to design clothing or be an artist, even singing or acting would do. She excelled at all of the above but not school; school had never been her strong suit.

"Make's sense. And think about it, you'll get to be in the city with us for the entire year." Cassie said doing her best to be the optimistic one without Lina around to brighten up the mood.

At this Anna smiled brightly. "Seriously Sam, can't you see it now, a whole new city of boys for us to conquer and bars for us to dance on. It's going to be fabulous. Plus you'll be the hot new girl with college friends; we could meet you for lunch and everything."

Even Sam seemed to perk up a little. "True." Then came a full on smile. "Okay, it might be perfect plus I don't even want Dartmouth and while I'm in New York I could even figure out a way to convince my parents to let me pursue some form of art."

Cassie didn't like the talk of not going to college; as much as she loved Sam she sided with her parents on that particular issue. Art, design, singing, acting, none of it was practical and Sam was smart, she just didn't care about learning. So she remained mute on that particular issue. Lina had been at the opposite end, always feeling like Sam's parents should let her pursue whatever made her the happiest. Rather than taking one side or the other, Anna had always been somewhere in the middle. Sure she wanted Sam to be happy, she was so talented; but she knew that her parents truly believed that an education would make Sam happy in the long run. Plus education was important, it wasn't something to be taken for granted or thrown away; Anna had always thought that education was power. She didn't see why there couldn't be a compromise, like a double major in Chemistry and Design or something of the sort. Either way she knew that Sam still needed a little bit of cheering up. "What do you say we go to Marquee and kick start this fabulous life of ours?"

"You know I'm always down for a party Annie." Sam said smiling and jumping up. "Plus, I'm already dressed and ready to go." All of the girls dissolved into giggles before Sam pulled them off the bed and ordered them to get ready; she was so ready to get her party on.

* * *

Eric wasn't certain what was going on. Serena was so on edge tonight. After Blair's death Serena had never returned to quite the ray of sunshine she was before, but this was a new level of paranoia. He looked questioningly at Nate who had surprised him by not following Serena out of the room. Eric might not have been as close to Serena as he used to be but he could still tell when something was wrong and he had a feeling that whatever it was, Nate knew about it. Something was simply off about the whole evening. Scott of all people had followed Serena out the door and now Chuck was missing in action. Yet as Eric was pouring himself a drink, Scott came back into the room with Chuck slipping in not far behind him.

Chuck immediately walked over to Nate and shot him a look that screamed Chuck Bass is back.

Nate couldn't help but smile even though he was still worried about Serena. "What's up with you? I haven't seen that look in a long time." Whatever it was Nate knew Chuck was in the midst of plotting. He had missed that look as scary as it sometimes was.

"I followed Serena and Scott out." Chuck stated before continuing, his tone level. "I know everything and I'm not going to sit around and let that creep get away with it." Chuck said matter-of-factly.

Nate was taken aback, he hadn't even noticed Chuck's exit; maybe this was what they needed but then he recalled Serena's threats to him about taking action and he sighed. "Man, we can't do anything. Serena won't let us. I've known from the beginning and she has threatened me with my life if I ever tell anyone. She swears that it will do more harm than good. Not to mention the fact that she is so embarrassed about all of it."

Chuck ran a hand through his hair. "I do my best work under the radar. If I have my way, Serena will never have to know I even know about it. Speaking of 'it' where is my little niece or nephew?" Chuck said quietly not wanting anyone to overhear.

Nate smiled. That was the one outcome of this situation that he actually enjoyed, he had met the child of course on more than one occasion. As the only one who knew Nate was Serena's only option for the choice for a travel buddy to Europe. "Your niece, Trinity Lillian Van der Woodsen, lives with Serena's father and step-mother in Greece and she looks just like Serena."

Chuck cocked an eyebrow. "Serena found her father?" That was yet another surprise. Chuck was under the impression that Serena's father was permanently MIA.

"Yeah. That's actually why Serena was in Europe in the first place. She doesn't want anyone to know that she did because she doesn't want anyone to know about Trinity and one would simply lead to the other." Nate explained as he sat down with Chuck on one of the couches.

Chuck nodded, it made since. Now he had to ask the question that he was dreading. "And is Trinity . . . all right?" He managed, nervous about Nate's response. He was well aware that sometimes when brothers and sisters or cousins had children the babies weren't quite right.

Nate practically beamed. "Yes. She has had every test they can give her and all have come out just fine. That girl is a miracle if I've ever seen one. The doctors said that since they were only half siblings Trinity had a better chance from the start, but we were all still worried."

"I want to meet my niece someday." Chuck spoke before his eyes narrowed. "As for Scott, I don't care if everything turned out okay in the end or how many people here seem to like him. What he did to Serena was vile and I won't stand by and let him get away with it, even if Serena is willing to."

Nate was actually glad that Chuck was getting involved. There was a certain sense of relief that came with Chuck's involvement even with the added stress of whatever Chuck was planning. From the beginning he had wanted to do something but he wouldn't go against Serena's wishes, Chuck on the other hand would do just that and hopefully Chuck was as good as he used to be and Serena never would know. "So what's the plan?"

Chuck smirked. "Watch and learn Nathaniel, watch and learn." Chuck said rising to his feet and walking towards Vanessa and Scott with his hands in his pockets. "Congratulations on the pending nuptials." He said smoothly.

The couple looked at Chuck surprised. He hadn't taken an interest in anything that didn't have to do with Blair in a while and in them never. So to hear him speaking to them, congratulating them was a small feat. It was Vanessa who spoke first since of the two she was the one who had ever almost been friends with Chuck. "Thanks, I think."

Chuck rolled his eyes. "Please Abrams; don't act like I hate you or something. I feel like we got over that a long time ago . . . twice." Chuck added referencing their mistake of an evening back when Nate and Blair were together senior year.

Vanessa blushed, wow Chuck really was back and in full form. This was not the same man as he was only two weeks ago when she last saw him.

Scott looked between Chuck and Vanessa slightly confused. "Do the two of you have history?" That had been the last thing that he expected. Vanessa and Chuck Bass were not what one would think of as compatible; Chuck was nothing like Nate or Dan.

Chuck smirked while Vanessa turned to her fiancé. "Unfortunately, we do. But it was only one night . . ."

Vanessa was about to continue but Chuck interrupted knowing that Vanessa's statement would have led to a mention of Blair. "Don't worry brother, it's in the past."

Scott nodded confused at the term brother. As a rule Chuck didn't speak to him, in fact he wasn't sure that Chuck had said more than three words to him before today. "So you talk to me now?" Scott asked a little offended and unwilling to let the slight against him slide.

Chuck shrugged. He had never shown much interest in Scott before; mainly because he had never cared. He would have never said what he did next if befriending Scott hadn't been an integral part of his plan. "I'm rather ashamed about that, I was caught up in my grief by the time you arrived. That being said, I would like to rectify my prior actions."

Scott narrowed his eyes curiously. Chuck hadn't exactly apologized but from what he had heard about the old Chuck Bass that was much more of an apology than most people got from him. "And how would you go about that?" Scott asked.

"By offering my services in the planning of the bachelor party." Chuck said with a smirk. "I'm sure you've heard, entertainment is my forte."

Vanessa's eyes opened in alarm. "I'm not sure that I'm okay with that." If Chuck was really back to his old self, that was one party that could get way out of control.

Chuck shot her a glare. "Don't you trust me Abrams?"

"Not particularly." Vanessa replied quickly.

Scott had been silently thinking while his fiancé spared with Chuck Bass and had come to a decision. "Okay, I'm in." He said extending a hand for Chuck to shake.

Chuck took Scott's hand and smiled. "Then I'll be in touch." Chuck said before walking away. That couldn't have gone more perfectly, now he was in all he had to do was destroy. Right before he reached Nate once more he heard a knock on the door. Being the only one currently standing he strode over and opened it; thinking that Serena might be back and just left her key. He went slack jawed when he saw who was there. "Chelle, what are you doing here?" He asked angrily as soon as he had recovered from seeing her. He hadn't seen her since a week before Anna came to town.

"Eric invited me." She said smiling warmly. Her soft light brown hair fell forward as she tilted her head, causing her to brush it back with a hand. "It's good to see you again." She said innocently.

Chuck knew he didn't have much of a choice in whether or not to let her in so he simply stepped back, holding the door for her. "Come in I guess." Chuck knew that most of the room knew her; she had of course been around over the past year. After all, Michelle was the girl he had been dating to keep the company off his back after the suicide attempt. She was beautiful and nice but she had never really been his type. It was Nate's doing of course. He knew Michelle from class at Columbia and continued to bring her around. Michelle had become smitten with Chuck from the start and after she persistently pursued him, Chuck realized that he could get everyone off his back at the same time simply by dating her. So he had, for months; but he had ended things between them two weeks ago and now here she was standing in front of him. "For those of you who don't know her, this is Michelle. Michelle this is Scott, Vanessa, and Dan, I think you know everyone else." He said making the proper introductions.

Jenny immediately ran up and hugged her. The two of them had spent a lot of time together while Chuck and Michelle were seeing each other because at the time Jenny had been seeing Nate. While Michelle was occupied with Jenny Chuck walked over to Eric. "What were you thinking inviting her?"

Eric shrunk back slightly. He knew Chuck was going to be mad but he thought that maybe after his breakthrough Chuck would have been ready to see if things with Michelle could work. "Chuck why don't you give her a chance? She's nice and funny, plus she is absolutely gorgeous."

"I am aware of these traits Eric but I ended things with Michelle for a reason. She loves me and I don't love her and it's not fair to her. She's not . . ." Chuck explained, running a hand through his hair as he trailed off at the end; there was no need to complete the statement. Eric already knew exactly who Michelle wasn't.

Eric sighed. "I know it's just I want you to be happy." He should have known that this would be Chuck's reaction, just as he was about to concede he saw it in Chuck's eyes, a faraway look that only Eric would have noticed. "Is this about Anna?" He finally asked, surprise coloring his voice. He knew that they were getting attached but Chuck wasn't that attached, was he? He had simply thought that Chuck would be mad because he was trying to force him to have a love life, not because he interrupted his apparently existent love life.

Chuck looked away. "No . . . and yes." He answered. "I ended things with Michelle before I met Anna."

"But . . ." Eric said leadingly.

"But I don't want to be involved with someone else right now because I want to be involved with Anna." Chuck finished slightly guilty but still angry. "You still shouldn't have invited her because now I have to go have the same argument I had two weeks ago."

Now it was Eric's turn to be slightly guilty. Whether it was right for Chuck to get involved with Anna or not, it was wrong of him to invite Michelle without even warning Chuck. "I'm sorry. I should have at least told you she was coming but I was afraid that you would leave if I did."

Chuck reached over and tousled Eric's hair. "Apology accepted Cupid just don't do it again." He said with a hint of a warning in his voice. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go take care of this." He spoke walking towards Michelle. "We need to talk." Chuck said placing a hand on her elbow.

Michelle looked at him with understanding eyes. "So you haven't reconsidered the breakup?" She asked looking only slightly sad.

"It's what's best." Chuck said smoothly. "This relationship isn't fair to you Chelle."

She shook her head slightly. "You know I'm not complaining." She couldn't help but smile, she loved that Chuck called her Chelle even though he was breaking her heart.

Chuck nodded. "I know but one day you will, one day you are going to realize that you deserve a lot better than what I was or ever will be able to give you." He knew he was doing the right thing. He liked Michelle, Eric was right she was a nice girl and so different from anyone he had ever been with. She genuinely cared about people but she was confidant and poised and he felt awful for using her to satisfy the board at Bass. "You're welcome to stay here if you'd like to catch up with Jenny, I'm about to leave anyway." Michelle nodded and he leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Goodbye Chelle."

"Goodbye Chuck." She whispered back as she watched the guy that she had fallen for walk away.

* * *

Diego groaned as he walked into the warehouse, he couldn't believe that Alejandro was still calling meetings and not even notifying him. Lucky for him, some of the other family members had thought to let him know. He was going to have to have a talk with Alex about this; it had to stop. Diego knew what was going on; Alex was trying to keep him from the business in hopes that he wouldn't challenge him for the position of head honcho. If Alex had spent more than ten minutes with him since he got here he would have known that Diego didn't want to be a Mob Boss; he had no desire for that life, he wanted to major in business and make something of himself outside of this world. Diego's little show of power when he first got here was just insurance that Alex wouldn't try to control him, wouldn't try to act like his father.

Spotting his brother, Diego walked straight over, noticing the surprise and alarm on his brother's face. "This better be the last meeting that I'm not at least notified about." Diego said authoritatively.

"I thought you were too busy to be bothered Shadow." Alejandro replied smugly throwing Diego's excuse back in his face and adding the incorrect moniker for emphasis.

Diego's eyes narrowed as he took another step towards his brother. "Cut the bullshit Alejandro, all of it." He spoke, his eyes flashing letting Alex know that if he continued to call him Shadow, there would be an issue. It was a sign of respect and Diego refused to be disrespected.

Alejandro sneered. "Fine, I'll text you when we are going to have meetings hombre, relaja."

Surprisingly Alex's use of Spanish just made him angrier, he knew his brother was being condescending and he couldn't stand it. "Smart decision. Now what's this meeting about?"

"Take a seat. I'm about to start." Alejandro said, wielding the one power he still had over Diego, the position as boss. So as Diego sat down, he did as he said and started. "We've had some issues lately boys. This economic crisis is hitting some of our constituents rather harshly and they haven't been paying their protection fees. We are going to need to be a little more . . . forceful. I'm authorizing a few scare tactic teams, Bones, Smiley, Dagger, Skinny, and Viper, you five are going to be the first group; we will see where we need to go from there. Go for the fear factor, but if force is necessary it is authorized." He added with a smirk.

Diego gritted his teeth. He'd only been in town a week and already he knew that those were the five most dangerous guys; yet Alejandro had just given them authorization to beat up whoever the hell they wanted, this was ridiculous. Their father would have been enraged at this sort of behavior, this was not the way that he had built up the business, this was the coward's way, the bully's way of doing things. Just as Diego was about to speak he remembered, this was not his place. Unless he wanted to challenge Alejandro for the role of leader, he had to follow his orders and regardless of how stubborn Diego was, he didn't want the responsibility of leading the business. So he kept his mouth shut and allowed his mind to wander to pleasanter places.

Naturally he began to think about Anna, beautiful, innocent Anna who had no idea that she was actually Blair Waldorf. It made sense that the first girl to truly catch Diego's eye would be the one to do it once more. From the moment he had met Blair he had been nothing short of obsessed. He had dreamed about her, fantasized about her the following night and every other for well over a year. That day in Chuck's apartment hadn't been the last time he had seen Blair, he had encountered her twice more with Chuck, one of those times another boy, Nate Archibald, had been there as well.

Diego had been insanely jealous of Nate the moment that he saw the way that Blair was with him yet at the same time it sickened him. She doted on the other boy's every word, fawning over him, and making moon eyes. Diego knew he wasn't good enough for her; she was an entirely different breed than he was her blue blood a direct contrast to his red. Hell even Chuck Bass probably wasn't good enough for her; it wasn't about the money, it was about the caliber of the suitor and Nate was the only guy he'd seen that had come close to the right pedigree for a girl like that; but he would still have given almost anything for one look like that from her. On the other hand, Nate completely took her for granted; he barely even noticed her extreme devotion and that's why it sickened him; he couldn't stand to see her stoop to such levels of girlish flaunting as she did with Nate. Blair should never have to degrade herself in such a way.

He reached up to rub his temples. Remembering that evening that he spent with Chuck, Nate, and Blair, was something that Diego had done throughout adolescence to remind himself that Blair Waldorf was so high above him that he shouldn't waste his time thinking or dreaming about her. Some days it had even worked. It had always amazed Diego that she had made such an impact on him in so short a time. It shouldn't have been possible, yet it was that impact that survived the move to Texas, the death of his father, and the year in Mexico, to draw him so effortlessly to Anna Carmichael-Getty the moment he laid eyes on her.

Anna had reminded him of Blair instantly; she had the same sparkle in her eyes, the same seemingly unmatchable wit. It had been a long time, five years to be exact, and he didn't know what Blair Waldorf would have looked like at that point but he had assumed from the beginning that it would have been something like Anna. Diego's first thought upon hearing Anna's story was that she had to be Blair Waldorf but he had done an internet search finding nothing on Blair being missing or presumed dead. Additionally, there was no registry for Blair on the cruise that Anna had been on in the Gulf. So as each search had been fruitless he had come to accept that it was his imagination working in overdrive wanting the girl of his dreams to be in front of him and attainable; which is exactly what Anna became for him. She was his perfect girl and he was getting an actual chance at her this time because Anna was different from Blair in the sense that she was within his grasp. So he had pursued her with everything he had and been rewarded beyond his wildest measures. Anna was amazing. He had never truly gotten to know Blair, he had had only an idea of her but Anna was different, he knew Anna and he was falling for her.

Diego shook his head, he should have known, should have realized that it was too good to possibly be true. There was no way that there could be more than one girl that was as incredible as he had believed Blair and Anna to be and beyond that, that the girl would return his feelings. But regardless of his prior searches, the other night when he had awoken from the dream, he had known without a shadow of a doubt that Blair and Anna were one and the same. He had convinced himself earlier that he couldn't trust his memories of Blair, that he had put her on a pedestal, that Anna reminded him of her because he wanted her to; but the dream solidified everything for him and now he still didn't know what he was going to do. If Anna ever remembered who she was, Diego would be gone from her life in a flash. But was this really something that he could keep from her? He might have been mildly obsessed with Blair; but that was in a pre-pubescent kind of way and that might have been what had attracted him to Anna in the first place; but he hadn't fallen for Blair, he had fallen for Anna and Anna wanted to know who she really was. Could he in good conscience keep that from her? No. But was it possible that keeping her was worth a troubled conscience? Hell Yes.

* * *

Chuck wasn't sure why he'd chosen Marquee of all places to get smashed, it was nowhere near his usual scene especially the past two years. Chuck tended to prefer the dark watering holes where no one bothered him and no one asked any questions; yet tonight he found himself entering the second floor of one of his least favorite clubs. Marquee was bright, it was flashy, and it was usually crawling with couples and sleazy investment bankers. Which brought him back to his original thought; why had he chosen Marquee? But if he was being honest with himself, Chuck knew that the reason he had walked into Marquee tonight was because he had just received the gossip girl blast that Anna was here. Chuck looked down once more to make sure he had the right bar, he would hate to spend time in this place if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

**Interesting day so far on the UES, the Van der Bass Humphrey fam had a little get together where a few bombs were dropped. V and Scott are engaged, who cares, S's mom is preggers, ugh another Humphrey, D is transferring to Columbia, boring; perhaps the most interesting events occurred between the lines of what was said. Something sure did send S running and after Chuck's stand in girl crashed so did he. Whatever made our favorite's run off? One thing's for sure, our new friend A wasn't present at this little get together; she's been spotted at Marquee plus two. I for one am still on the fence on whether her friends are worth my time but I'm with you on this one A, August is a time for drinking away the heat. Cheers!**

**you know you love me**

**xoxo  
gossipgirl**

The first half of the message made him role his eyes. It had been a long time since gossip girl had meddled in his affairs and he'd almost forgotten just how annoying it was to constantly have her breathing down your neck. As he began searching for Annabelle, he knew what he did next was likely to put him back on gossip girl tonight; but he didn't care. Chuck had never been one to stress out over gossip girl; she simply made keeping things under the radar a little more difficult.

Chuck had yet to see Anna but a flash of red hair at the bar reminded him of one of the girls he had seen her with the first day outside the Palace when he still thought that she was Blair. The blast had said that she was with two friends; the red head could definitely be one of them. Chuck sauntered over and took a seat next to the red head at the bar. When she turned to look at him he smirked, this was definitely one of Anna's friends. "Can I buy you a drink?" He asked smoothly.

Sam smiled seductively at the extremely attractive young man who had just offered to buy her a drink. "Martini dirty." She said giving him her full attention. It was already starting to look like Cassie and Anna had been right about the perks of the city. "And you are?" She asked already turning on the bedroom eyes.

Chuck smirked finding her accent fitting; it was so much deeper than the slight one on Anna. "I'm Chuck Bass." It had been a long time since he had said that and it felt good.

Something triggered within Sam's brain. That name was familiar. "Do I know you?" She asked curiously, still slightly mystified.

"I believe I'm the owner of the hotel in which you are currently residing." He spoke realizing that the girl had probably heard his name from Anna; the thought made him smile.

"Oh." Sam said blushing. Was it possible that Chuck had noticed her in the hotel and that's why he approached her? It had been a long time since she had felt so appreciated. Plus a guy like this would make her parents happy; if he owned the Palace he was most definitely wealthy. "I'm Samantha Jenson." She said with a smile.

Chuck nodded, so one of Anna's minions had a name. Just as he was about to mention the object of affection, she appeared before him. "Anna." He said, all of his earlier cool leaving his voice.

"Chuck?" Anna asked looking between him and Sam. "Am I interrupting something?" She asked unable to keep the twinge of jealousy from her voice. She had no right to feel that way but she simply couldn't help it, she was attracted to Chuck.

Sam's eyes widened, clearly she wasn't the first hotel resident that Chuck had sought out, and he obviously had met Anna before. That's when she realized why his name sounded familiar; Chuck was the guy Lina mentioned at the train station, the guy that Anna was feeling torn about. "No. You're not." Sam said downing her drink and standing up from her bar stool. "I think I'm the one in the way." She said with a pointed look at Anna before leaning close to her friend's ear. "If you like him, don't hold back." With that she saddled up to an investment banker, she was looking to raise a little bit of hell tonight and this one looked like he might just be married.

Anna had followed Sam with her eyes but when she realized that her friend was gone she turned back to Chuck. "So what are you doing here?" She asked. She might have known very little about Chuck but she got the feeling that he wasn't here for the atmosphere.

Chuck couldn't help but smirk, Anna had called him out already. "I came to see you." He responded honestly.

"How did you even know I was here?" Anna asked mystified. She definitely hadn't told anyone that she was planning on going out tonight much less that she was going to Marquee. That Chuck had found her was eerie and slightly disturbing if flattering.

This time it was Chuck who was surprised; until he realized that Anna was out of the loop, literally. "You don't know about Gossip Girl?" He asked even though it was really more of a statement.

Anna couldn't help but be intrigued. "Gossip Girl? Who is she?" Somehow this Gossip Girl had told Chuck where she was this evening. If this girl knew her whereabouts she was definitely someone Anna needed to meet.

Chuck couldn't help but laugh. "I've got no idea." When Anna began to look fed up Chuck quit joking. "Gossip Girl is a website. People send her tips and photos anonymously. She or he blogs about the lives and scandals of the Upper East Side notable. And you are her new favorite topic of conversation." Chuck said getting out his phone and showing her the blast.

Anna's eyes widened instantly not believing what she was seeing. "Why in God's name am I interesting enough that people want to read about me and know what I'm doing?" She asked although it did explain the small crowd of younger girls that had been eyeing her from one of the booths all night.

Chuck smile sadly, it would always come back to this. "Because you look like Blair and Blair was probably the most reported on of all if not second to Serena."

"Oh." Anna said softly. That did kind of make sense. It would appear that she didn't just look like any regular girl, she looked like a girl that was seemingly adored or at very least envied and now she was the topic of some kind of strange internet gossip ring. "So you saw where I was on gossip girl and you followed me here, didn't we already discuss that stalking was a no-no?" She asked smiling.

Chuck smirked. "Well I don't have your number and we decided we were going to try to be friends. Friends hang out and I knew you were here, so I thought why not?"

Anna nodded before reaching over and taking his phone. "Well here's my number for future use." She said punching it in before pressing send to call her own phone, giving her his. "Now what do you say we get to know each other on the dance floor?"

Chuck's eyebrows rose. "Does dancing fall in the friend zone?" He asked questioningly.

"It does if we say it does." Anna said with a shrug. It was their friendship; they could make up the rules as they went. "Now let's have some fun." Anna said with a smile as she led him out onto the dance floor to the sound of Lady Gaga's newest hit.

As they began to dance, Chuck didn't hold back he knew very well that he was a good dancer. He was also quite aware that this was not only the most contact they had ever had; this was the longest he had spent in her presence. While dancing he let his hands do a little tentative exploring of Anna's body, allowing them to brush along her sides and over her hip. Chuck was surprised when she moved even closer to him; he had thought that she might pull away when his hands began to roam.

Anna wasn't sure what she was getting into, she had a boyfriend for goodness sake's; but right now, Chuck Bass had one hand on her hip and the other on her upper thigh and it felt so right. Soon enough she felt herself leaning back into him as they danced in a way that most people would consider slightly scandalous as a couple and extremely inappropriate for a pair of 'friends.'

When Chuck felt Anna's body press against his, he couldn't help but compare her to Blair. The movements were similar, her body felt so good against his. No girl other than Blair had ever fit with him so perfectly on or off the dance floor. He found himself bending close to her neck and inhaling her scent.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up at Chuck's proximity and Anna didn't even realize as she tilted her head towards him. Something about Chuck Bass was drawing her in, in a way that she couldn't begin to explain. It was like there was a magnetic pull between his mouth and hers as she blindly searched for his lips.

Chuck felt Anna's movement as her head turned toward him, he felt her searching for him as they continued to move on the dance floor and regardless of whether or not it was bad for him he couldn't help but acquiesce her in this quest and brought his lips to meet hers.

The second their lips touched a spark illuminated shooting a fire through Anna and she turned her whole body to face Chuck. Her arms snaked their way around his neck, her fingers wove themselves into his hair as she pulled him ever closer deepening the kiss.

The moment his lips met her own, it was as if he had been waiting forever for this moment, or at very least been waiting two years. He drank her in, hungrily, urgently, needing the contact, the pressure of her lips against his, her arms around him, their bodies intertwined. He wanted her and his body was responding to that want. He could feel her heartbeat quickening, her breathing rapid and all he wanted was her.

Anna had never felt like this, never felt her body take over in this way before. She felt as though she had completely lost control, her senses were in overdrive, she felt everything, every touch, every taste, every smell and it consumed her. And suddenly she couldn't breathe. Anna pulled back, removing her hands from their position around Chuck's neck and letting them slide down to his chest. She looked up to meet his eyes, still breathless as she said one word. "Diego."

Chuck felt several emotions wash through him, confusion followed by anger and jealous until finally understanding and calm. He hadn't said a word in response knowing that whatever he would have said would have been the wrong thing. "I'm sorry for my behavior that was inexcusable." He said willingly taking the blame.

"It's as much my fault as yours." She said quietly as she looked back up, her eyes meeting his once again. She felt the electricity and heat of the gaze and couldn't help but tilt her head

As soon as her eyes connected with his Chuck felt the indescribable pull towards her again and he found himself lowering his head back down.

Anna knew that he was about to kiss her again, she could feel it over every inch of her body and she wanted it, God she wanted it. Right before it would have happened, right before her lips would have touched his, she heard a sound, a clearing of the throat. It was enough to break the moment and cause her to turn her head around. As she turned, Anna let out a small gasp as she took in the sight of Diego Gutierrez standing right in front of her.

**

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**A/N: I hope you liked it as much as I liked writing it. It felt good to have some Chuck/Anna action finally on the screen. For those of you who would like the plot to be moving a little faster I feel I should warn you that this is about the pace that it is going to continue to go. But I can tell you that this is going to be a really long story (If you read my fanfic The Games We Play then you know about the length I'm talking). Anyways, I do hope you enjoyed. **

**Reviews are always appreciated and encourage me to write more quickly. I'm not kidding they really do :) Because when I know people are looking forward to hearing more, I feel the need to deliver. Plus they totally make my day.**

**xoxo  
kate**


	14. A Listers Spotted at a B List Club

**Hey everyone. So someone suggested that I shouldn't apologize anymore for late updates since you all know that I'm busy so I am going to try that out. Just know that I update when I can. I've added a picture of Michelle to my profile. Clearly I am thinking Emmy Rossum only with blue eyes. Anyways, enjoy the update and you guys can all thank ggloverxx19 for getting this up today because she took the time to beg :) Also to ggoddess -- you're review was inspirational and I really appreciated. **

**Thanks to all of you guys for the wonderful reviews, you make my day**! CarolinaGirl21, dmnd04, abelard, xoxogg4lifexoxo, ronan03, LittleRed22, LitPrincess2787, Wilwarinya, ggff-fan, GGfanficfan09, SouthernBelle88, diamond007, chelle2911, annablake, ggoddess, and ggloverxx19. ***hugs***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**Rated: T as always because we all know I like things to get a little smexy and I'm liberal with my word usage.**

* * *

Chuck felt Anna tense up and looked up to find just who had interrupted them. The moment he did he wished he hadn't as his eyes locked with Diego's. Chuck didn't know how much the other guy had seen but whether he had just walked up or he had been there for a while, Diego was rightfully pissed as he had just caught Chuck about to kiss his girlfriend.

Diego did nothing to temper the death glare that was aimed straight at Chuck before speaking the same words Anna had spoken earlier that night. "Am I interrupting something?"

Chuck wanted to clutch Bl-Anna to him protectively as she turned to fully face Diego but she wasn't his to protect and as difficult as that was for him, it was something that he had to accept. He was opening his mouth to speak, to defend her and to defend their actions when Anna placed a hand gently on his forearm which was currently sitting on her hip. It alarmed him as her touch was so very much like something Blair would do; from the simply way her fingers touched his arm to the fact that she was using a touch so gentle to convey her thoughts. He let his hands dropped slightly but kept his own mouth shut; clearly Anna wanted to handle this.

As she felt Chuck's hands drop from her sides Anna was instantly colder. All she wanted to do right now was step back into Chuck's arms and let him continue to hold her but she brushed the feeling aside and took a step forward she had a boyfriend that she genuinely cared about and whatever this was with Chuck couldn't possibly compare to that, could it? "No, Diego you're not."

Diego's eyes switched from Chuck to Anna and he felt his gaze soften. He had such a hard time being mad at her, even though he had just caught her in the arms of another man. She was and always would be his greatest weakness. "Then would you mind telling me just what I walked up on?" He asked, as he attempted to keep his voice harsh; a feat that was nearly impossible when it was Anna he was trying to be angry with.

Anna took a couple steps away from Chuck and towards Diego, placing her hands on his chest. "We were just dancing and got a little carried away. Right Chuck?" She asked turning her head slightly, silently praying that he would take her cue.

Chuck's whole body ached from the absence of Anna's against his but he knew that he had to support her in this. "She's right man. It was all completely innocent."

Diego's eyes were still narrowed as he regarded Chuck with a look of slightly toned down animosity. He knew Chuck Bass and he was never innocent; not with a girl as hot as Anna. After a moment he looked back in Anna's eyes, searching for the truth. "So nothing happened?" He asked, unable to keep from sounding hopeful.

Anna didn't even hesitate to lie. "Nothing happened." She spoke assuredly, her confidence shinning as she smoothly spun a web of lies around Chuck and Diego. Something about this felt so familiar yet so very not. It was that dream feeling again as though perhaps in a past life (or in the one she couldn't remember) Anna had been quite the manipulator.

Diego nodded slightly. "I trust you." He spoke filling the words with a meaning that only Anna would understand.

Anna inhaled sharply in surprise. Diego didn't trust anyone, she had always known that. It had come up between the two of them once before when they were doing a lab report. Diego refused to place his trust in anyone because that was the only thing that could prevent him from being hurt or disappointed; yet here he stood before her instilling his trust in her. She could tell that he was about to kiss her but a deep twisting in her gut made her want to turn around and make sure that Chuck wasn't still standing there. At that moment she was going to have choose, she was either going to hurt Diego by sneaking a peak to see if Chuck was there watching or she was risking the chance of hurting Chuck by kissing Diego. Neither idea was appealing but she had to choose because Diego's lips were getting ever closer to her own. Anna simply decided to bite the bullet and kiss Diego; she owed more to him than she did to Chuck. As the thought crossed her mind, her heart felt as though it was disagreeing as it began to pull tightly but as soon as her lips touched Diego's it returned to its normal reaction during one of Diego's kisses and started beating rapidly.

Chuck watched Diego and Anna kiss for a moment and it felt as though his heart was being ripped from his chest cavity yet he couldn't seem to look away. As they broke away he noticed the slight smirk Diego shot him over Anna's shoulder and was suddenly aware that Diego was feeling threatened; that was the only reason he would be sending a look such as that at Chuck. Chuck's head immediately began to real, he was missing something, he could feel it. There was more to Anna and Diego than he had originally perceived, perhaps it was simply more complicated than he knew. As Anna's eyes drifted to meet his there was a look of apology there; something he accepted immediately with a small nod before turning and walking to the bar.

Diego placed his forehead against Anna's and exhaled slowly; feeling his residual anger slip away. He felt her tremble slightly against him as she breathed and was instantly fearful. Had he been too aggressive tonight? It was definitely possible that he had come in angry after his meeting with Alex and taken it out on Blair and even on Chuck. "Was I overreacting?" He asked softly, uncertainly.

Anna smiled. "Yes but understandably so." In truth if he had actually seen what they were doing right before he walked in, Diego's reaction wouldn't have been overkill in the slightest. But only seeing what he did, it was a little much.

"I'm sorry." He whispered at her ear as she laid her head on his shoulder.

Anna smiled slightly. "So you're not mad at me?"

Diego ran his hands around her waist, holding her close. "No, I'm not mad at you." There was a slight clenching in his gut as he remembered just how mad she should be at him, just how mad she would be if she had any idea what he was keeping from her. "What do you say we get out of here? Go back to my room." He added pulling back slightly.

Anna smiled a little more broadly. "Normally I would say yes but tonight is kind of a girl's night. My friends need me." She added with a pointed look at Sam who she was still a little worried about. She couldn't just leave her friends and run off with her boyfriend. Besides she was still reeling from her encounter with Chuck and she wasn't exactly in the frame of mind to be hooking up with Diego.

Diego couldn't deny his disappointment. He wanted to be with Anna and right now, regardless of the trust he placed in her, he was insecure in their relationship. What he had seen between Chuck and Anna just then hadn't been about anything physical. There had been some kind of undeniable energy passing between the two of them in that moment and it filled him with fear at the prospect that there had been something there. "Okay." He said before giving her another quick kiss. He knew there was nothing else that he could do at that moment. "I'll call you tomorrow?" He asked even though it should have been a statement.

Anna nodded. "I'll talk to you then." As Diego was moving away from her she held his hand and tugged slightly until he turned around. "Thank you for, you know trusting me."

Once more Diego felt his stomach clench at the thought of all he was keeping from her. "I'd give you just about anything, my trust included." As he walked away from Anna he realized that the one thing he would never give her was the truth.

As Anna walked towards the edge of the dance floor to a booth where they had left their clutches she felt herself bump into someone, causing their drink to slosh a little. She knew it was her fault; she was distracted with thoughts of Chuck and Diego. "I'm so sorry." She exclaimed reaching out to steady the girl only to discover that it was Jenny Humphrey. "Jenny!" She exclaimed upon making the realization.

Jenny smiled. "Anna! Hey, don't worry, it's no big deal. Although I think that makes us even doesn't it?" She asked remembering that the first time they met, she had bumped into Anna.

"Well at least let me buy you another." Anna spoke smiling. Even though it had only been a few days since she had last seen Jenny, she felt like they definitely had some catching up to do. So much seemed to have happened.

Jenny simply shook her head. "I actually think I've had enough. This isn't really my normal scene, I followed Chuck here to make sure he was okay; he left Eric's in a hurry."

Anna cocked her head slightly before laughing. "Wait so you followed Chuck here. Chuck and Diego followed me here. And I'm only here because I read about it in a tourist guide book of hot spots."

"Ugh, never a good reason for going anywhere!" Jenny exclaimed only half joking. "Next time you are going somewhere, run it by me first. As your first New York friend, the least I can do is make sure you don't end up at another club that's been over for a couple of years."

Anna smiled brightly picking up on the joking mood. "Don't worry, from now on I'll check with you first; actually, I probably would have anyway but going out was pretty much a last minute decision. My friend Sam had a rough day, she didn't get into Dartmouth; it's where her entire family went to school." Jenny's expression told Anna that she was willing to listen to more and Anna knew it would be good to talk this out with someone else. "It was something she hadn't been honest with the rest of us about and she kind of had to come clean about it today. The sad thing is she doesn't even want Dartmouth, she wants to work in the fashion industry but her parents are making her go to Constance to finish while they are telling everyone back home that she's taking a year off for a fashion internship."

Jenny grimaced slightly. "I know how disappointing your parents feels." She couldn't help but think back to the turbulent time in her life when she completely rebelled from her parents for the sake of her art. "But at the same time I know just how important doing what you love is." She finished her voice changing as she came up with an idea that just might help Anna's friend. "What if she actually did have a fashion internship?" Jenny asked with a smirk.

Anna tilted her head slightly, not immediately realizing what Jenny was suggesting; yet after staring at the blonde for a moment recognition dawned. "Could you do that?" Anna asked, a smile forming on her features.

Jenny shrugged. "I'm allowed to hire interns and it just so happens that there is a spot opening up." She would be glad to help Anna's friend out. Plus this would mean that she would get to see more of Anna, which was something that she found herself wanting very much to do.

"What about school?" Anna asked realizing that Sam couldn't just drop out before she had even had her first day of class.

At that Jenny smiled. "It's doable, I promise. I'll give her flexible hours. After all, if she is going to be interning under me I have class during the day at Parsons anyway."

Anna smiled brightly. This was perfect. Sam was going to be so excited and maybe with an actual fashion internship, down the road her parents might realize that that was the right path for Sam after all. "Thank you so much. Sam is going to be ecstatic."

"My pleasure." Jenny said with a smile. Anna's smile was so like Blair's that it brought her back to a very different time in her life; a time when doing something nice for Blair Waldorf was very much what she strove to do. For so long it had truly been her pleasure to help Blair however she could, for just one ounce of friendship in return.

Suddenly Anna had an idea of her own. "We are having a girl's night tonight, why don't you come back and hang out with us at the hotel?"

Jenny pondered it for a moment before remembering that she had brought someone with her to the club. "That sounds great but my friend Michelle came here with me tonight. I can't just leave her."

"She can come too." Anna said as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine."

Jenny smiled brightly, the evening just kept getting better and better. Michelle was always complaining about how she didn't have any girl friends because her closest friends were all guys other than Jenny. "Okay, I'll go ask Michelle, but I'm sure she'll be down. I'll meet you outside okay?"

Anna smiled in return and nodded before going over to collect her friends. She was now really looking forward to the rest of the evening. Especially telling Sam the good news.

* * *

Michelle had only left Jenny's side for a moment before her gut instinct kicked in and she started looking for Chuck. After only a few moments she spotted him by the bar on the far end of the club, looking particularly brooding. Immediately she made her way through the crowd towards him avoiding all of the sleazy investment banker types rubbing against her, to reach him as quickly as possible.

Chuck took a sip of his scotch and sighed as he saw Michelle making her way through the crowd. He felt a slight tug at his heart strings at the determined set of her brow. He had always thought that she was her most beautiful when she was openly happy but at that moment the determination evident on her features was absolutely beautiful. "I said everything that I needed to say back at the hotel." He spoke swirling the caramel colored liquid in his glass.

Michelle had known what Chuck was going to say before he said it; she knew him that well. And knowing him that well meant that she knew that there was more to his explanation for why he broke up with her than she had been given. "You did, I didn't." She said as she sat down on the bar stool next to him, perching on the very edge as she leaned forward, brushing her hair over to one shoulder and exposing her neck, Chuck's kryptonite. "I've been entirely too passive in this breakup. I have the right to fight for you, I don't have to be the nice girl and let you walk away from me."

Chuck shook his head slightly as he avoided meeting Michelle's gaze. She was pulling out all of the stops tonight and was in danger of discovering things that would only make the breakup harder on her. Chuck continued to look anywhere other than her eyes as he stared off into the club, spotting Jenny's blonde hair across the dance floor just as she bumped into Anna. His mind was anywhere but focused on Michelle and it was for her own good.

"I want you to look at me when I say this." Michelle spoke as she placed a hand on the side of Chuck's face and turned his head to face her; forcing him to stare into her piercing blue eyes. "I love you. I was never presumptuous enough to believe that you felt the same but I did think that you cared. You have no idea the effect you have on me. You make my world better."

Chuck couldn't help but snort. "I highly doubt that Chelle." She was a happy person until she met him. All he did was break her heart and screw up her life. Someone as good as Chelle deserved better. "All I ever gave you was heartache and misery."

Michelle exhaled. "You are so wrong Chuck. Sure I played the role of the happy, sophisticated politician's daughter but that was all just an act. Being with you was the first time that I felt something real; something that wasn't a product of the perfect world I had been born into. The pain, that's real too, but that's life and being with you is the life I want."

This time Chuck looked away. He didn't need to be having this conversation. He was going to hurt her, he knew it. "I'm sorry Chelle, but I just can't do this anymore." He made a move as though he was about to stand and Michelle reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him.

Fury swept through Michelle's veins at Chuck's utter dismissal of her pleas and confessions and she let her anger take over; something she rarely did. "Jesus Chuck, did you not care about me at all or has this always been about her?"

Chuck had known the moment would come when he would be unable to hold back the truth, but he had always hoped it wouldn't. "Damn it I care Michelle. I care so fucking much." He said it only because it was the bare truth. She had helped him through some of the roughest days of his life and not every day had been a train wreck there had been days that they had been happy.

"Then why are you doing this? Why are you breaking up with me?" She shouted running a hand through her curls as she tried her best to understand what Chuck was thinking but what he said next surprised to her.

Chuck didn't even try to filter his response; he knew that there was no way that he could. "Because I fell in love with you." There was a shocked silence as she digested the words and he prepared to say the words that were going to break her heart. "But you're not her. And what I feel for you is never going to compare to what I felt for her."

Michelle had sucked in so much air as Chuck admitted his true feelings for her, but all of the air went rushing out of her lungs as he continued talking. As he finished she felt nothing more than disappointment and sadness; but not for herself. She felt these things for Chuck. After what could have been ten minutes, Michelle met his eyes again. "She's gone Chuck. Blair's never coming back but I'm right here."

Chuck shook his head so slightly that it was easy to miss. "I can't live with anything less than what I had with her."

Michelle squeezed her eyes shut trying her best not to cry as the truth finally came from Chuck's lips. She had thought he didn't love her. That had been easier. To know that he did love her, that he had fallen for her but was dumping her because she truly wasn't good enough, because she didn't compare to his Blair, killed her inside because he was everything to her. "Then you are going to be miserable for the rest of your life." She said brokenly as she stood up and walked away from Chuck; hopefully for good.

Chuck felt his heart pounding as Michelle walked away. He hadn't wanted to say what he did; he hadn't wanted to hurt her like that. Just like he hadn't been lying before; he did love her. He loved her poise, he loved her beauty, he loved the way that she had refused to give up on him and strangely he loved the kindness in her that came from a distinct place of innocence at the way she looked at the world. He took another gulp of scotch hoping that he hadn't stolen that innocence from her. Because even though he loved her, his love for her was not the kind of love he had felt for Blair. He was no longer ignorant enough to believe that what he felt for her wasn't love, yet he knew with everything he was that it was a different kind of love from what he and Blair had shared. It didn't burn or consume him. That kind of love only came once, or so he had thought, until he met Anna. As thoughts of Anna and their shared kiss entered his mind he realized that Michelle was wrong about one thing; he wasn't going to be miserable for the rest of his life. There was potential to have with Anna what he had had with Blair; he could feel it.

* * *

Jenny walked away from Anna in search of Michelle, her pace quickening as she noticed the company that Michelle was in. How had she found Chuck so quickly? Halfway to the bar, she saw Michelle turn and walk away. Jenny paused, watching as Michelle wiped at her eyes, she wore her heart on her sleeve but there was nothing she hated more than allowing people to see her cry. She stepped into Michelle's line of vision and waited on her friend to reach her; she wanted to be as far from Chuck as possible. "Why do you do this to yourself?" She asked softly as Michelle came to a spot close to her friend.

"I guess I just can't help it. Maybe I like the pain." She said with a laugh before becoming serious. "But I'm done." Michelle spoke with an air of finality present in her voice, pushing back the tears that had been falling only moments ago. "Can we just get out of here?"

Jenny smiled reassuringly. "That's actually why I was looking for you. My friend Anna is having a girl's night tonight and we've been invited. You interested?"

Michelle shrugged her shoulders delicately, "Sure. Why not? After all, it has to be better than mopping about over Chuck Bass. Plus I could use some more girlfriends."

This time Jenny's smile was brighter. She had been telling Michelle for as long as she had known her that she needed girlfriends, but the girl had always been dead set that guy friends were just as good. Perhaps she was finally realizing that there were some things, like helping their friends get over a guy, that only girls could do.

As they approached the exit Michelle looked around. "So where is this friend of yours?"

Jenny, who had just spotted Anna walking towards them, began to gesture towards her "Right there" She didn't realize the grave mistake that she had made until she saw the look on Michelle's face.

The moment her eyes landed on the girl that must be Anna, Michelle's mouth fell open. Granted she had never known Blair personally as she was a year younger than Chuck and Blair and had attended Spence. However, she had grown up on the Upper East Side; they had run in the same circles. She would have known what Blair looked like from Gossip Girl alone; but there had been pictures. Especially near the beginning there had been so many pictures. "Does Chuck know?" She finally asked her breathing heavy and her tone low.

Jenny was hesitant as she answered knowing that the answer was going to have a huge effect on Chelle. More than was strictly necessary. "Yes. He knows."

Michelle's eyes flashed as she turned her head towards Jenny. "Is that why he broke up with me?" It was strange how clear everything seemed now. Chuck had never and would never get over Blair, she had never been delusional enough to think otherwise; but she and Chuck had had fun together, they had been happy. Suddenly a girl appears who looks exactly like Blair and now she and Chuck are over.

Jenny shook her head slightly. "No and it isn't her if that's what you're thinking." Why had she not realized this minor detail before? How could she have been stupid enough to suggest Anna and Michelle be friends?

At that she completely rounded on her. "Of course it's not Blair! Blair's dead." The more she thought about things, the more it all made since. "The sooner you all realize that and quit trying to replace Blair with some look alike; the sooner you guys can move past this."

Jenny looked down guiltily before remembering the consensus they had come to and looking back up at Michelle with a firm back bone. "Look Michelle, you didn't exactly know Blair so you don't really have any right to be telling us how we should be feeling. And yes I know it sucks how things ended with you and Chuck, but that had nothing to do with Anna. He broke up with you almost two weeks before he met her and Anna is a nice girl who's new to New York and I'm her friend because I like her, not because she looks like Blair. So either shut about who she looks like and give her a chance or go on home."

Michelle's mouth almost dropped open. She had never before been so thoroughly reprimanded by Jenny or possibly anyone else. Immediately Michelle realized that she was projecting her issues with Chuck onto everyone else and nodded slightly as Anna approached. "Why don't you introduce me to your friend?"

Jenny looked at Michelle with one last look of warning, to which Michelle replied with a large smile. "Anna, meet Michelle." Then she turned to the other two girls accompanying Anna. "You must be Sam and Cassie." She said with a smile as she introduced herself.

As the girls completed introductions and walked outside of the club, Anna turned to Sam smiling. "So now for my surprise."

Sam grinned mischievously. "You know I love surprises."

Anna's eyes brightened as she exchanged a secret smile with Jenny. "What would you say if I told you that you could intern at a fashion house while in New York?"

Sam's eyebrows lifted. "I'd say that either you're on drugs or you're my new favorite person."

"Actually I think that makes Jenny your new favorite person." Anna said with a smile as Sam started realizing what Anna was suggesting.

Sam looked back and forth between Anna and Jenny. "You mean, I'm going to be interning for Eleanor Waldorf designs?"

Anna smile brightened further as she started jumping up and down giddily and Jenny simply nodded. "Welcome to the team."

"Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod!" Sam screamed as she threw her arms around Jenny. "You are totally my new favorite person."

As the others were smiling and laughing tumbling into a cab, Michelle couldn't help but observe Anna. It was eerie how much she seemed like the Blair Waldorf she had seen around growing up. Chuck might not have broken up with her because of Anna but she had to believe that she had something to do with why Chuck hadn't wanted to get back together. Most girls would have probably been angry at Anna but Michelle didn't have it in her. She simply wasn't a jealous person and more than that, she wasn't vindictive. So she climbed into the cab and joined the giggle fest because if Anna was truly Jenny's friend then Michelle would make an effort.

* * *

Chuck was watching across the club as Jenny introduced Anna and Michelle. He couldn't help but think that this entire situation was getting more complicated by the minute. He was still watching the girls intently as he noticed a presence on his left. He didn't turn his head, only shifted his eyes in the direction of the new presence. He had known instinctively that it was male, which meant he had a pretty good idea of who had approached him before he even looked. After observing Diego next to him for a moment, his eyes shifted back towards the girls before he spoke. "Good evening Diego."

Diego couldn't help but smirk at just how perceptive Chuck Bass still was as he had caused Diego to jump, slightly startled. He wasn't aware that Chuck knew he was there. "Bass." He replied with a nod as Chuck turned his head to face him.

"Would you like a drink?" Chuck asked, gesturing towards the bar. He wasn't sure what Diego wanted, but he knew it had something to do with Anna. The other young boy seemed to be as head over heels for Anna as Chuck had been for Blair.

Diego shook his head slightly. "No thanks. There's something I need to discuss with you." Diego paused and when Chuck made no sound he continued. "I don't like what I walked in on between you and Anna earlier."

Chuck smirked. "I thought you said you trust her." He spoke as he narrowed his eyes. After all he was still Chuck Bass.

"I do trust her Chuck. It's you I'm worried about." Diego said roughly, making certain Chuck knew he was being serious. "I've never had a problem trusting Anna, not that she knows this as I don't trust easily. Yet even when she had another boyfriend and I was trying to woo her away, I could always trust her." Diego noticed Chuck's eyes widen at this new information but continued. "But I know you and I know how you are with women. Even at thirteen you had them falling at your feet. And I'm not sure that my trust in her outweighs that."

Chuck snorted slightly. Diego had a point. He had always been able to charm women. It was simply what he did and what he had every intention of doing with Anna. "If you trust her so much you shouldn't feel the need to worry about me."

"You said you wanted to be friends again and that's not going to happen if you keep going after my girlfriend." Diego spoke, his voice low, dangerous, a warning. He could see where Chuck's mind was going with all of this; he could see it and he didn't like it.

Chuck looked away, trying to keep the guilt from his eyes. He had said that he wanted them to be friends because it was the truth. There had been a time when Diego had been one of his best friends. However, a friendship with Diego wasn't going to stop Chuck from going after Anna. What Michelle had said earlier was still resonating within him as was the realization that Anna made him feel so much like Blair had made him feel. Diego had no effect on him friend or not, it was only Anna's interests that he concerned himself with. His gaze lingered on Anna as she exited the building, long enough that Diego's gaze followed his own.

"Seriously, man, she's my girlfriend." Diego spoke exasperated. He noticed the look of sadness in Chuck's eyes coupled with a look of pure longing just before he looked away and suddenly Chuck's behavior became more clear; his cold manor towards Anna in the lobby, the pain in Chuck's eyes as Diego told him he had known Anna for the past seven years, the passionate encounter he had walked in on earlier that he had been observing for much longer than either of them were aware, and now Chuck's reluctance to give Anna up. Chuck was in love with Blair, which caused a guilty pain in Diego's chest. Chuck was still hurting over the loss of Blair; a pain that Diego could ease but doing so would put him in the opposite position. He wasn't willing to do that, wasn't willing to lose Anna.

Chuck inhaled deeply before slowly exhaling. He was transferring his feelings for Blair onto Anna again and he knew it. Even though Anna and Chuck held a strong chemistry on their own, she wasn't Blair and she wasn't his to possess; at least not for the moment. So he nodded slightly. "Okay."

Diego saw several things in Chuck's eyes at that moment. There was still a great sadness there, but coupled with that there was what appeared to be acceptance; of what Diego wasn't sure. He knew though if he was in Chuck's position he wouldn't be letting this go, letting her go, and he didn't expect Chuck to either. So Diego would remain wary and watchful.

"So about this whole friends thing . . ." Chuck started as he looked at Diego. "Since the girls seem to have left us to our own devices, why don't we have ourselves a lost weekend or at very least a lost evening?"

Diego smirked slightly as he cocked his head. The lost weekend had been infamous even when they were younger Diego had been sad to have missed out after moving to Texas. "I say, where and when?" Diego replied.

Chuck smirked, seemingly matching that of Diego's. "My suite at the Palace, room 1812. Meet there at midnight sharp."

Diego nodded as he pushed off of the bar and Chuck finished the last of his scotch. This night without the girls might be fun after all.

**Gossip Girl present and accounted for at a club I haven't been to in years, things were getting so interesting that I had to come see for myself. Since when is Marquee the place to be? Well apparently it isn't as all of our precious A-Listers just fled the scene taking anyone else who matters with them. Diego and our very own C made plans to meet up later and A left with J, M, and her two friends. Since they keep popping up and don't appear to be going anywhere I inquired as to their names. Our lovely Hispanic lady is Cassie Ramirez freshman at Columbia and roommate of our darling A, the fiery red head Samantha Jamison who some of you lucky high schoolers may get the opportunity to meet as she completes her senior year at Constance while interning with none other than Eleanor Waldorf Designs. So maybe they're worth my time after all. The most interesting thing to transpire tonight might just be the meeting of A and M, I can't help but wonder what B's look-a-like and C's most recent flame have to talk about, do you?  
**

**xoxo  
gossip girl**

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**A/N: Tada, chapter completed. Next time we'll get to see just what happens in these gender segregated evenings. I'd adore if you'd review :)**

**xoxo  
kate**


	15. Girl Talk and Guy Code

**A/N: So this time I do owe you guys an apology. My computer underwent major hardware failure and I lost everything on it and my hardrive decided to pick now to fail as well so I lost all my fanfiction stuff. In some cases that was a couple of chapters but for this one it was all of my information and outlining and such so it's been rough going but the betas have been helping out. Speaking of betas, thanks so much to ggff-fan for the help beta'ing this chapter with my normal betas unavailable.**

**That said I have a few notes about this chapter, first a clarification on where everyone lives. Anna, Cassie, Sam, and Chuck live on the 18th floor of the Palace, Eric lives on the 24th floor and Serena is staying with him. Nate lives in the apartment his grandfather bought him. The kids who go to NYU live at the loft so now that's just Scott and Vanessa. Dan used to live there but since he's going to Columbia he's moved into Eric's old room at the Van der Woodsen apartment. (We'll find out in time why Eric moved out). Also in the VDW apartment are Lily/Rufus and Jenny who still lives in Serena's old room. Chuck's old room is empty. When school starts Anna and Cassie will move into the dorms. That was just to clarify.**

**One other clarification, I know that the Nate/Serena/Tripp debacle occurred during season 3 which is before the start of this fanfic but I figured it could have happened anyway. I guess in my version Serena rebounds with Tripp from the mess with Scott rather than from Carter.**

To my reviewers: **dmnd04, annablake, NJBC Gal, Wilwarinya, ggloverxx19, toocrazy, CarolinaGirl21, SouthernBelle88, LitPrincess2787, Ggfanficfan09, ronan03, ggff-fan, and chelle2911. **Thanks so much for sticking with me over the past few months, they've been pretty rock and you guys are fabulous.

Disclaimer: I own more SillyBandz than a girl my age should but I do not own Gossip Girl.

Rated: T because I let things get smexy from time to time.

* * *

Anna laid back on the bed, collapsing in a fit of giggles. As she did she noticed the sloshing of her martini as it almost over flowed; it was safe to say that all five of them were on the drunk side of tipsy. The other girls were standing near the closet, trying on all of Jenny's fashionable clothes; but something was holding Anna back and she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. Originally, the plan had been to go her suite, but Nate had texted Jenny that Chuck was throwing a lost weekend at his suite and the girls had thought it better to be away from that. So instead, they had chosen to go to Jenny's apartment for the evening. Her parents were away celebrating their one year anniversary and Dan was at Chuck's lost weekend so they had the entire apartment to themselves. Her eyes wandered around the room, taking in her new setting. Anna was used to living in luxurious surroundings, but Jenny's room was as nice as it gets. "I love the art deco feel." Anna spoke, almost not realizing she'd spoken out loud.

Jenny smiled, flopping down on the bed next to her, she'd actually been intending to simply sit but in her current state of inebriation that proved to be too difficult. "Thanks. I wish I could take the credit, but it was an army of well paid interior decorators and Serena who decorated this room." She looked to Anna and sensing her confusion, kept speaking. "Before Serena went to college this was her room but when our parents moved in together and she moved out I inherited it. Kind of like Dan's recent take over of Eric's room."

Anna nodded, still feeling out of sorts. She needed to do something to get out of this funk, clearly everyone else was having fun. "Let's play a game."

Jenny's eyebrows rose intrigued. "What kind of game?"

"Truth or dare." Anna said definitively as she sat up. Truth or dare was her signature game so neither Sam nor Cassie were surprised by the suggestion but she could tell by the looks on Michelle and Jenny's faces that they weren't so sure about whether or not this was a good idea.

Jenny exchanged a tentative look with Michelle, truth or dare was one of those games that never ended well and in Jenny's mind it was a game that she would always connect to Blair. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Anna."

Anna smirked. "Scared Little J?" She was ready to keep goading but the look on Jenny's face stopped her; the girl looked as though she was about to be sick. "Hey what happened, what's wrong? I wasn't being serious, I just thought it would be a fun way to get to know each other. . ." Anna probably would have continued talking if Jenny hadn't held up a hand.

Jenny was shaking, it was as though someone had just doused her with a cold glass of water. No one had called her 'Little J' since Blair's death; not once. "Why did you call me that?" She asked softly.

The other girls in the room had quieted down, noticing the sudden change of pace in the conversation. Michelle took one look at Jenny and knew that something beyond weird had just happened; she also knew that whatever it was had to do with Blair; clearly the name meant more to Jenny than just being a name. She had the distinct feeling that she should leave and give the two some privacy to discuss it but her curiosity got the better of her and she stood there quietly observing.

Anna tilted her head curiously as she considered Jenny's question. She honestly couldn't say why the name had popped into her head. She hadn't even thought about it before she said it, it just came out naturally. "I honestly don't know."

"No one's called me that in a really long time. It used to be my nickname." Speaking, Jenny neglected to say that it used to be Blair's nickname for her. She tried to shake herself out of it but she couldn't get the image of Anna out of her head as Anna had called her little J; it could have just as easily been a memory of Blair, it was so similar, too similar not to completely freak her out.

"Oh, I must have heard someone say it in the past few days." Anna said as she tried to discern just what about the name had freaked Jenny out so much; but even though she had claimed to have heard the nickname from someone else, she was almost certain that she hadn't. But they had to of; Chuck or Eric _must_ have said something, there was no other explanation for it.

Jenny nodded slightly, it was entirely possible that Chuck still referred to her as Little J even after all this time. Slowly, her heartbeat calmed and the fevered thought that had flashed across her mind that Anna might be Blair dissipated until it faded completely. That was nonsense, Blair was dead, Anna's looks just had her going for a second. Now she needed something crazy to take her mind off of everything. "How about that game of truth or dare?"

Anna smiled tentatively but as Jenny returned the smile, she nodded. "Now for some rules, if you pick dare one round, your next turn has to be truth. No backing out of your dares or refusing to answer truths. IF you do either, you have to . . ." Anna paused for a moment, looking at the girls and thinking of an appropriate back up dare. Suddenly she had a stroke of brilliance. "Go find the boys and make out with one in a seduction attempt" She paused again to gauge reactions, which were mostly shrugs, before adding the last part. "And the person's whose truth or dare you refused gets to pick which one. Now who's first?" Anna ignored the slight gasps from a couple of the girls and placed a commanding smile on her face, she just had to be damn sure she didn't refuse a dare because the last thing she needed was to seduce Chuck in front of Diego or Diego in front of Chuck.

"I'll go." Sam said, taking a seat in a chair near the foot of the bed. Somebody had to do it and she knew that Anna's dare's only got crazier with time, going first was probably the safest bet. Plus, the faster they eliminated the current mood the better. "And I pick dare."

Anna raised her eyebrows. "I dare you to make out with Cassie."

Cassie rolled her eyes. That was nothing new, sure they had a new audience but the number of times that that had happened during a drunken night playing spin the bottle or truth or dare was more than Cassie could count.

No one batted an eyelash as the girls completed the dare; however, Jenny did walk over to Michelle as though she was getting a better angle to see what was going on. Leaning down she spoke into Michelle's ear. "Don't ask questions now, I don't have time to explain but you need to know that we aren't telling Anna that Blair's dead. Our reasoning is complicated but we've all decided it's better for everyone if Anna simply thinks Blair left town; we don't want her to think that we want to replace our dead friend with her." As Michelle nodded covertly, Jenny stood up just as Sam turned to Michelle. "Michelle, truth or dare?"

"Truth." Michelle spoke assuredly, of the girls she had a feeling that Sam was the one she didn't want daring her, she had a wild streak. But even then she couldn't help but contemplate what Jenny just said. She wasn't entirely certain that they were doing the right thing by lying about Blair's death but honestly, what could it hurt. Besides the last thing that needed to happen was for them to freak Anna out with dead best friend talk; this was already such a precarious situation they had on their hands and their was no need to add fuel to the flames. So Michelle would keep her mouth shut about the matter; besides she had kept a close eye on Anna all night and she couldn't help but think that the girl was interesting and definitely the type you'd want to be friends with. Michelle was being won over by the girl's charisma and she knew it and somewhat peculiarly she found that she didn't actually mind.

Sam grinned mischievously, ready for one of her trademark truths. "Okay, have you ever fantasized about an authority figure? If so, explain."

Michelle actually laughed, she hadn't been expecting that. Usually this game was lame without guys present but perhaps this could be quite entertaining. "My high school math teacher was the single hottest male specimen I've ever laid eyes on, so yes I have fantasized about an authority figure. Truth or dare Jenny?" She asked smiling brightly.

"Dare." Jenny said slyly, for reasons opposite of Michelle's for picking truth; of all the people here, a dare from Michelle was probably the safest.

Michelle couldn't help but scrunch up her nose, she was always awful at picking dares. "I don't know, lick Anna's ear."

"Waste of a dare." Jenny said jokingly as she immediately leaned over to Anna and did as told. "Now, Cassie, pick."

"Truth."

Jenny shook her head slightly. "Dangerous choice with me. Describe when, how, and to whom you lost your virginity."

Cassie's eyes widened in complete shock, these truths were much more dangerous than the dares, but she wasn't about to make out with one of the guys, that was even more dangerous. She exchanged a quick glance with Anna before speaking, Anna was the only one who knew what she was about to say. "The spring break junior year, I was visiting my aunt in New Jersey; it happened in a car. The guy was older, it was the culmination of a romance that had been going on since Christmas, his name was Alex."

Sam's jaw dropped. "How did I not know this?" Her eyes drifted to Anna's who looked timid but not surprised. "You knew and I didn't?"

"It wasn't my secret to tell." Anna spoke quietly, looking back to Cassie. Cassie had told her the night that she had told Cassie everything, the same night she had tried to kill herself.

Cassie bit her lip slightly but carried on gracefully, she might have fulfilled the dare but she owed Sam more than that. "I loved him, I still love him, but I haven't heard from him since that night. I honestly don't know what happened to him. We made love and then he dropped me off back at my aunts. We were supposed to get lunch the next day before I left home but he didn't show, I called but his phone went straight to voice mail. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to talk about it." She could have continued; she could have confessed that Alex was from New York, that Alex was Diego Gutierrez's brother, that she was still looking for him, but she didn't; she had said enough for tonight. "Now Anna, truth or dare."

"Dare." Anna said with a shrug, her eyes back on Sam. She was quite certain that Sam wasn't getting over the fact that Cassie had kept this from her anytime soon; she could see revenge in the red head's eyes.

"Take off your underwear."

Anna smiled and reached under her dress, looping her fingers around the sides of her bottoms and sliding them off. "Okay, Jenny next."

Jenny raised an eyebrow, unsure if Anna was really ready to go there. "Truth."

"Have you ever watched porn?"

Jenny shook her head. "Surprisingly no, unless you call art cinema with Dan and Vanessa porn."

At that Michelle burst out laughing.

"What?" Jenny asked smiling and slightly laughing herself.

Michelle covered her mouth. "I'm just thinking that it's very weird that you watched sexual art cinema with your brother and his ex, kind of kinky too."

Jenny's mouth opened slightly, she was so ready to heat this game up. "Truth or dare Michelle."

"Dare." Michelle spoke knowing that she'd already used her truth.

"Follow me." Jenny said smiling. As she did, she stood and walked into the kitchen, where she opened the fridge and started throwing all kinds of random things into the blender. Bananas, caviar, mayo, potatos, tuna, a splash of soda, super hot salsa, and a lot of vodka were added into the blender before Jenny poured it into a glass and handed it to Michelle. "Drink up."

Michelle looked at Jenny, disgusted and muttered, "Touché." before pouring the beverage down her throat, gagging several times before she managed to get it down. As she finished the girls refilled their drinks and took a seat at the dinning room table to continue their game. Sam looked to Anna, "I think it's time for you to have a truth. Now let's see, what do I want to know. Oh I know, is it true that you and Diego Gutierrez were hooking up behind Jackson's back while the two of you were dating? If so how long and how often?"

Anna inhaled but knew that she had to be honest, it was her only option. "Yes. It started back in March while we were Chemistry partners and it was only one kiss, well only one make out session. But then at Senior Beach Week things got steamy and Jackson and Diego got into it."

Sam smiled and shrieked. "I KNEW IT! I knew there was something going on there all along and at Senior Beach Week I saw you two holding hands."

Cassie's jaw dropped open and Jenny exchanged a look with Michelle, both of them knew about Blair's past with Nate and Chuck and the similarities surprised them much as they had Eric only a few days before. Anna wanted only to change the topic and looked to Jenny. "Alright Jen, truth or dare."

For the next hour, things proceeded to get more convoluted, the dares more dramatic and the truths more revealing and as it came to be Sam's turn again, things were getting vicious because everyone knew that a good game of truth or dare (especially one involving alcohol) will always end in either sexual escapades or purely vindictive cattiness. Since this was a good game, as well as a game of all girls, it had to end in the latter. That's why an extremely agitated Michelle dared Sam to ask Cassie why she had kept the truth about her virginity a secret; which Sam of course did, wanting to know herself but too prideful to ask in any normal circumstance.

Cassie bit her lip in trepidation. This was a bad idea, this whole game had been a bad idea. Truth or dare was always asking for trouble and it seemed like tonight they had gotten it ten-fold. She could only hope that if everyone was honest now, they would all laugh it off tomorrow and be better friends because of it. "I didn't tell you because I wasn't prepared for the constant jabs from you and honestly, I didn't trust you to keep it a secret."

Sam jerked her head in surprise at the insult. "What do you mean keep it a secret?" She couldn't deny that the jabs would have happened, it was in her nature to make snide comments.

Anna raised her eyebrows and snorted drunkenly. "Oh please Sam, we all know you're the reason the whole school thinks I'm not virgin and the reason they know still is. Don't even act like you can keep your mouth shut about our sex lives."

Sam's head snapped toward Anna. "Fine, if that's how you feel, let's add one more secret to the mix. It's your turn for truth right Anna?" She asked but then didn't pause for a reply. "Let's see…I want to know the truth about what happened to you the night of junior prom . . . all of it, and don't even try to say that you were with Jackson because I know you weren't."

Suddenly Anna blanched, her face turned ashen and she seemed to have lost all ability to breathe. Her first instinct was to turn to Cassie for support but without looking she knew that there wasn't any help that Cassie could provide. Either Anna had to prostrate herself right now in front of all of the girls, telling her deepest, darkest, secrets, or she was going to have to submit to the one dare she had thought none of them would do. She closed her eyes tightly, willing herself not to cry as she mentally prepared herself for what came next. When she looked back up at Sam, she was filled with resolve. "Pick the guy."

Sam was infuriated; whatever it was that Anna was keeping from her, she was determined enough to keep quiet that she was willing to go seduce a guy of Sam's choosing. They were supposed to be best friends; they were supposed to tell each other everything. That's why time and time again, Sam had allowed Anna to keep the events of junior prom night completely hidden from her, because she thought that Anna was hiding it from everyone and she thought that eventually with time, Anna would tell her. But clearly that wasn't the case; clearly, Anna and Cassie were each other's only confidants. The thought had her about to burst into tears but instead she channeled her anger and sadness into two words. "Chuck Bass."

* * *

"Men, welcome to the night of your lives. May the first lost weekend I've hosted in two years be the first of many more to come." Chuck spoke, slightly lifting his scotch. The other guys all followed suit with their respective drinks; even Dan Humphrey with his beer; Chuck noticed with a slight smirk. The guests in attendance were fewer than he would normally invite to such an evening of debauchery but as of yet he was content to simply enjoy the company of guys he actually liked as opposed to those he would normally have around. Tonight's guests were limited to Diego, Nate, Dan, and Eric. Scott was originally going to be invited as Chuck thought it would be a prime opportunity to get started on his project there but he decided that tonight was one for reconnecting, not scheming and chose not to extend the invitation.

Several drinks in, the strippers were on their way out and the infamous games of high stakes poker had begun. "Damn it." Nate cursed as his cell phone buzzed and he looked down at a text from his grandfather.

"Whatever is the problem Nathaniel?" Chuck asked suavely as his head lolled to look at his best friend.

Nate brushed a hand through his hair. "My grandfather is in town this weekend, he wants me to come downstairs and have a drink."

"And?" Chuck asked leadingly, knowing that there had to be more.

This time Nate sighed, sometimes Chuck knew him too well. "And I have a feeling he's brought Tripp with him. He's been trying for months to get us to reconcile after the fallout we had over Serena two years ago."

Chuck nodded his head perceptively. "I see. Feel free to go ahead. Your key to my suite will still work when you come back."

"Wait a second" Nate spoke holding up a hand. "I don't even know that I want to go. I'm not sure that I'm ready to make peace with Tripp after what he did."

Chuck sat down his scotch glass. "Yes you are, Nathaniel. You said it yourself, it's been two years. And they are the only family you have. Now go, mend your Vanderbilt fences, it's time."

Nate inhaled deeply. He had forgotten how wise Chuck could be when it came to these sort of things. "You're right. Of course you're right." Nate spoke as he stood. "I'll be back."

Nate had been gone for a little over half an hour when the knock came at the door. Eric, being the perpetually helpful one was the first to offer to open the door, expecting to find the next round of alcoholic indulgence. Instead he was surprisingly faced with the ladies who he knew were supposed to be off on their girl's night. "What are you guys doing here?" He asked, eyes wide.

Michelle and Cassie exchanged a look for what was likely the tenth time; neither thought that this was a particularly good idea. Michelle could only wonder what Anna was so desperate to keep hidden that she was willing to seduce Chuck in front of her boyfriend; Cassie on the other hand knew and she honestly wasn't sure that what Anna was about to do was worth keeping her past a secret. On the other hand, Jenny and Sam were all giggles for both of them were highly enjoying this. And Anna, Anna was petrified but she knew that she couldn't let what happened the night of junior prom get out; even to Sam. Confidently, she stepped forward. "Hey Eric, I just have to take care of something."

Eric gave Anna a curious look as Sam and Jenny burst out laughing, but he stepped aside allowing them all entrance. "What's this about?" He whispered to Michelle as she passed.

"Truth or dare. Anna refused a dare and the punishment involves the seduction of the man of the darer's choice. Sam chose Chuck." Michelle explained quickly and quietly.

Eric's eyes went wide. This was not going to end well. "Someone has to warn Diego or he's going to go gangster on Chuck."

This time it was Michelle's eyes that widened as Cassie stepped forward. "I'll take care of Diego." Then to Michelle. "Keep an eye on Anna okay? If she looks like she can't handle the situation do something to get her out of here." Michelle nodded and Cassie walked quickly towards Diego just as Anna approached the poker table the boys had set up. From where she was she could see the surprise on the boys' faces as Anna introduced herself as well as Sam to those present. Cassie walked up behind Diego and placed one well manicured hand on his shoulder, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "Come to the other room with me a second."

Diego looked up at Cassie strangely. He had no idea what the girls were even doing there and if it had been anyone else he wouldn't have paid any attention; he simply would have turned back towards the poker game and the girls. But this was Cassie and it didn't matter who she was talking to; when she talked you listened. "Okay." He said standing and following her into Chuck's bedroom. "What's going on?" He asked, shutting the door behind them.

Cassie looked at Diego and tried to maintain the forced calm she was presenting but it was difficult. She had never done this before, never spent a second by herself with Diego Gutierrez. Cassie prided herself on being a cool operator, on being calm and confidant, but Diego was intimidating even for her. So while outside she was the ice queen, right now she was screaming on the inside. "Look I brought you in here because something is about to happen outside that you're not going to want to see." Diego looked as though he was about to say something or simply push her out of the way but she continued forward. "It's just a game of truth or dare, that's all. Anna refused to answer a truth about that night junior year . . ." Cassie spoke with raised eyebrows, telling Diego that he knew just the night she was talking about. "And the backup dare was that the person who refused had to come here and make out with the guy of the darer's choosing. Sam chose Chuck."

As Cassie was distracting Diego, Anna went in for the kill. She walked over to Chuck's chair, running her hand along the back. Chuck's eyebrows rose in surprise as he felt Anna's fingers brush his shoulders and wrap themselves in his hair as she leaned forward, pulling his mouth to her own with force, mashing their lips together and sending fire rushing throughout his body. Anna sat on Chuck's lap facing him, which left her effectively straddling Chuck Bass as she kissed him for the requisite five minutes. During the time she only broke for air.

Chuck had no clue what was going on or why Diego hadn't punched him across the jaw yet but he relished the feeling of having Anna pressed against him, of touching her, of tasting her, of being able to feel this connection with her again. He found his hands tangling in her hair, running down her back, and cupping her ass, all seemingly at the same time. There was nothing other than Anna herself that could have halted him in that moment.

Diego knew his face was a thousand shades of red as he brushed past Cassie and stalked back into the other room of Chuck's suite. He joined the circle of other spectators standing by and watching the show being presented as Chuck Bass had his tongue down the throat of Diego's girlfriend. Diego was a millisecond away from doing something when Sam called out "TIME" And as though that was the word that she had been waiting for Anna wrenched herself away from Chuck and stood, smoothing out the lines in her skirt and straightening out her top. Chuck remained sitting there just as she had left him, for once in his life completely speechless.

Anna looked down at Chuck, missing his touch but knowing that it was wrong and that Diego was standing two feet away. "Sorry, it was Truth or Dare" Then she looked to Diego, seeking forgiveness. "And you know I can't stand to lose."

Diego felt the anger leave him as he looked at Anna. As hard as it had ever been for him to stay mad at her, now that he knew that she was actually Blair Waldorf and was keeping it from her, it was damn near impossible. So he simply nodded.

Both Dan and Eric simply stood there with shocked looks on their faces. Dan, who had never seen Anna before was in awe of just how much she looked like Blair. If someone hadn't warned him ahead of time just how uncanny the resemblance was, he would have sworn that the girl in front of him must be Blair Waldorf. Even the manner in which she spoke and conducted herself was reminiscent of Blair; it was almost creepy. Eric on the other hand was shocked at the display she had just put on knowing that Diego was standing right there watching. Whatever it was that she had refused to share must be one hell of a secret.

Chuck seemed to finally regain his ability to speak just before the girls turned to leave. "Wait a second, why don't you ladies stick around for a while. There's plenty of booze and fun to be had; we could even throw in a round of Never Have I Ever." Chuck spoke desperate to keep Anna close, even if it was in front of Diego.

The other girls shrugged non-committedly. It was clear that Cassie and Michelle thought it to be a bad idea but Jenny and Sam once more appeared to be all for it. So the decision was left to Anna. As much as Anna wanted to spend more time around everyone there she could see the disasters that might befall them all if they continued to booze it up in each others presence. Who knew what secrets might come out. "Thanks but no thanks, Chuck. I think we're done with games for the night." With that she walked over to Diego, giving him a quick kiss and hug before following her girls out.

Walking down the hallway, Anna caught up with Sam and pulled her back. "Are we even now?"

Sam looked at her and did her best to feign surprise. "What do you mean are we even?"

Anna rolled her eyes. "You found out tonight that you don't know everything about me and there are some things that Cassie knows that you don't. In return I kissed Chuck Bass, the guy you know I'm crushing on, in front of my very jealous, very dangerous boyfriend. So I'm asking you are we even or do I need to be wary of future onslaughts?"

Sam stopped walking and turned to Anna throwing her arms around her best friend's neck. She had forgotten just how well Anna knew her; forgotten that Anna usually knew her motives before even she did. And with Anna's words she realized just how close she had come to alienating their friendship tonight. "We're even and I'm sorry."

Anna just nodded her head. She knew Samantha Jamison better than anyone else did, if Sam said all was forgotten, all was forgotten. "Okay, let's go have fun."

* * *

It couldn't have been fifteen minutes after the girls left that Nate came back into the room full of righteous indignation at being correct concerning his grandfather's set up. "I was right, I knew I was right and sure enough there Tripp was at the bar sitting next to Grandfather."

Chuck managed to bring a smirk to his face although it took energy he wasn't sure he had. The boys had all been sitting completely silent since the departure of the girls; not a single word had been spoken in the past quarter hour. "And was I right as well?" Chuck spoke.

"Yes, you were right as well Chuck." Nate spoke with a sigh as he took his seat at the poker table. "Turns out that on being forced to sit with Tripp for a few minutes I was able to forgive the past and we were able to begin to move forward." Suddenly, Nate noticed the look on everyone's faces; even Dan looked out of sorts and Chuck and Diego both looked like they'd been sucker punched. "Jesus Christ, what did I miss here? It looks like I just walked in on a funeral."

This time Chuck found himself at a loss for words; even Eric couldn't seem to formulate a sentence. In the end it was Dan who had to inform Nate of what he'd missed as he was the least effected by the surprise. "Anna was here, along with Michelle, Jenny, Cassie and Sam." Nate's eyes widened but he didn't say anything. "She could be Blair's twin with a few exceptions."

Nate's eyebrows rose as he looked between the rest of the guests. "So that's what this mood is about?" There were nods of affirmation and Nate continued. "So what were they doing here?"

Chuck seemed to have finally found words and spoke. "Anna was dared to seduce me or something to that effect."

This time Nate's gaze shot back and forth between Diego and Chuck. This could be bad. Chuck had filled him in on the mess from the club earlier and if Diego was half as dangerous as his reputation spoke that he was, they were all playing with fire. Nate heard Diego say something under his breath and Nate fixed his eyes on him. "What did you say Diego?"

Diego looked up surprised. He had been under the impression that no one had heard him. Now the entire room was looking at him and he had no other option than to repeat what he had said. "I said, she's my girlfriend."

Chuck met Diego's eyes with a questioning look, as if to ask if they were still on okay terms. As much as Chuck hated to admit it, tonight was supposed to be about bonding with Diego, not Anna; even though in that bonding Chuck had always intended to find out more about their relationship. This was his opening and he knew it. "I know."

"Tonight wasn't your fault and from what I understand it wasn't hers either." Chuck raised his eyebrows as Diego kept talking. "She was asked the most invasive truth that Sam could think to ask. She didn't have another option."

Now Chuck was really and truly curious. What could possibly have Anna willing to kiss him in front of Diego? He found himself sitting on the edge of his seat and as he glanced around at his other guests, he could see that other than Nate, they were doing the same. "What did she ask?"

Diego shook his head slightly. This was getting dangerous quickly. He had to continually remind himself that these were Blair's friends and he absolutely could not slip up and talk about the accident. "It's complicated. There was this night junior year where her life kind of fell apart. I don't even know the whole story, I wasn't there for most of it; but I know that it has a lot to do with her ex-boyfriend Jackson."

Chuck noticed that Diego's fist clenched at the mention of Jackson, clearly there was bad blood between the two. "Who's Jackson?"

Diego rolled his eyes. "Oh you know the type, captain of the football team, all around golden boy, he could do no wrong in anyone's eyes, even Anna's." As he spoke he couldn't help but let his gaze find Nate's. He had never really thought about it before but Nate and Jackson had a lot in common, perhaps that is why he had hated Jackson so much to begin with. Maybe all of that resentment about Nate and Blair that had built up over time had never gone away. He looked to Chuck and sure enough Chuck's eyes were on Nate as well, apparently Diego wasn't the only one who saw the similarities and from the look on Eric's face it appeared that Anna had already filled him in on their love triangle. Dan was the only one who didn't look particularly interested in the conversation. "Jackson had this thing about pressuring Anna for sex and it's my understanding that on the night of junior prom things went a little too far."

Now Chuck felt his own fist clenching at the thought of someone doing something to Anna that she didn't want. He couldn't begin to explain the fury that fled through him at the simple thought. "So if Anna was dating Jackson as a junior, where do you come in?" Chuck asked his curiosity overriding his sense of stealth.

Diego couldn't help but smirk. "I always wanted her; she knew that. Senior year we were AP Chemistry lab partners. It took me all year to steal her away from him." This time Diego watched as both Nate and Chuck's eyebrows rose in shock. This was getting more interesting by the second. He had realized at the bar that Chuck had been in love with Blair but he had no idea that something similar to the situation with Jackson and himself had gone down between Nate and Chuck. That made things a little more complex. Diego had assumed Chuck's love to be one sided but if there was one thing he had learned from his relationship with Anna was that sometimes the golden boy wasn't the one who got the girl. Maybe Blair/Anna had a thing for bad boys.

"You're lying." Chuck said unable to comprehend just what Diego was claiming was true. It was eerily similar, too similar. There was something else going on here, there had to be.

Eric was looking back and forth between all of the guys, unsure what to do to defuse the situation. If Chuck thought someone was messing around with Blair's memory he wouldn't react well. Eric knew he had to step in. "Diego's not lying. Anna told me all of this herself. She and Diego just started dating. It took him until now to get her to give him the chance for a real relationship. I saw the similarities too." Eric spoke, keeping his voice controlled.

"What similarities?" Diego asked softly. Here was his opportunity to find out about the part of Blair's life he knew nothing about.

Nate looked to Chuck. He couldn't do it, he couldn't talk about their history with Blair and he knew with one look at Chuck that he couldn't either. It was Dan who finally started talking, surprising them all that he was even still paying attention.

"Blair dated Nate since what was it, kindergarten?" When Nate nodded, Dan continued. "Nate and Chuck were best friends, Serena and Blair were best friends, and I believe that Chuck and Blair were close as well." There were further nods of affirmation. "Well, Nate cheated on her with Serena, eventually Blair found out and after trying and failing to make it work, ended things. She then slept with Chuck repeatedly before getting back together with Nate. Between Gossip Girl and an angry Chuck, that ended. Then Chuck and Blair proceeded to be on again off again with their inability to admit their feelings. Blair finally did when Chuck's dad died but then things went sour again when he left town and she slept with his uncle. She dated Nate again before finding her way back to Chuck once more. He told her he loved her, they had a few good months together then. . ."

"That's enough Humphrey." Chuck interrupted as he looked to Diego. "And surprisingly accurate. Blair and I were in a plane crash that summer, I survived, she didn't."

Diego nodded reverently. So that's how they had lost Blair; but he knew differently. He knew that somehow Blair had survived that plane crash and that's how she ended up as Anna Carmichael-Getty. He swore to himself doing this that this would be the only time that he would tell this particular blatant lie; as bad as he was, he didn't think that he had it in him to do it more than that. "I get that you miss Blair, I really do; but Blair's dead. Anna's not Blair." As Diego spoke he realized that he was lucky neither Chuck nor Nate remembered the fact that he had met Blair back when he still lived in New York because if they did this could all get disastrous.

"We know." Eric spoke softly before he dealt the next hand.

* * *

Anna looked around through eyes blurred by lack of use. She had been lying on Jenny's bed for half an hour with her eyes closed but she couldn't quite fall asleep. She glanced over at Jenny in the bed next to her snoring lightly, and gently lifted the covers to slide out of bed, hoping that a glass of water would help sooth her to sleep. Quietly she crept out of Jenny's room and into the main room. She kept her footsteps light as Michelle was asleep on the couch. She wouldn't have bothered if it was either Sam or Cassie on the couch because as a rule they were heavy sleepers, but they were asleep upstairs in Dan's room and she didn't know Michelle or Jenny's sleeping habits well enough to gauge how much noise would wake them.

Luckily the first cabinet she opened contained the glasses and she was quickly able to fill one up, then she paused. There was still a nagging feeling in her gut that something was off with her tonight. It had left her for a while in her drunken haze but that had long since worn away and now she was back to her original feelings. The only thing she could think was that perhaps she was afraid that she might dream tonight and scare everyone half to death. As a rule, it didn't happen when she was sleeping in the bed with someone else, but who knew for sure.

Finishing the glass of water, Anna was starting back towards Jenny's room when she noticed a door that was slightly ajar one past Jenny's. It was strange, she hadn't even noticed another room and during Jenny's tour of the house when they first arrived, they definitely hadn't gone in there. Propriety told her that if it wasn't on the tour then she probably shouldn't go inside; but curiosity got the better of her and she found herself walking closer. After all, it was most likely just a laundry room or storage closet, there was no harm in opening it to find out. So against her better judgment, Anna found herself placing her hand on the slightly ajar door and pushing it open lightly.

Walking into the room, Anna flipped the light switch and couldn't have been more shocked. Instantly aware of where she was, she realized why this had not been part of the original tour of the apartment; she was in Chuck Bass's bedroom, and from the looks of it, she was the first to venture inside in a very long time. It looked as though someone had just packed for a vacation in the room. The closet door was ajar with an abandoned suitcase nearby on the floor. A few pieces of discarded clothing were left lying on various pieces of furniture in the room as though they had been eventually left out of the packing. There were photographs, so many photographs. On the bedside table alone there were four, one of a woman she assumed was Chuck's mother by the sheer resemblance; another was a family portrait containing people she assumed were Serena's mother and Chuck's father along with Eric, Serena, and Chuck. The third photograph made her gasp. Although honestly, she shouldn't have been surprised, she had had fair warning by the sheer number of times that she had been called Blair since arriving in New York. This was a photo of Serena, Chuck, the girl she knew must be Blair, and another boy she didn't know. They were younger in the photo, probably in the early years of high school, but that didn't change the fact that the resemblance was eerie. The last photograph on the bedside table was even stranger, probably because it was a more recent photo and Blair was probably about her age; it was a photo of Chuck and Blair, just the two of them and they looked incandescently happy. Anna had a hard time believing that she had ever seen too people look happier than she had in her entire life; which was a stark contrast to the shattered glass in the frame.

For some reason the shattered frame unnerved her and she found herself wandering around the room, looking at the abundance of photographs on the dresser. It was almost creepy the way that these photos were still here, each depicting what she assumed was Chuck and Blair's relationship. One photograph looked to have been taken at graduation, another at a wedding, one from prom (Anna couldn't help but feel that there was a certain sadness present in this photo), the next one from some sort of party, and the last looked to have been taken at some kind of fancy gala. Altogether it was strange, as were the similarities between her and Blair. Looking at the photographs, she couldn't deny that it was there, yet at the same time she noticed blatant differences. Blair's hair was much darker than hers had ever been and there was a look in her eyes that said that she had seen more of the world than someone that age should have seen; accompanying that was a hard edge that Anna could never imagine herself having. Setting down one of the photographs that she had picked up, Anna tried to force herself to stop making comparisons between herself and Blair; there wasn't a point to it, she and Blair were not the same person. Blair might not be around anymore, but she was alive. Chuck's obvious obsession with her was extremely unnerving though. From what she could tell it had been awhile since Blair had been around, he should have moved on by now; he should have moved past this. Anna was still standing in front of the dresser when she heard a voice, causing her head to flip around.

"You look so much like her it's scary." Michelle spoke softly as she walked into a room that she had only been in once before. Her only other trip inside had been sheer curiosity, but the room's undisturbed atmosphere had freaked her out so much that she had never dared to go back. However, tonight she had been unable to stay asleep and awoken to see the light on in this room. Immediately she had known who had wandered inside and thought it best to come see just what Anna was doing.

Anna didn't move, there was no need to ask who 'her' was or to respond with affirmation. There was no denying that she and Blair looked very much alike. "What happened to her?" She spoke quietly and then as an after thought she added. "And why is this room like a shrine to her relationship with Chuck?" The first was a question that she had been dying to ask for days. Everyone had been so cagey giving her answers and she hadn't wanted to push them, clearly whatever happened to Blair was a sore subject for them; but she assumed that Michelle was far enough removed from the core group of siblings that she might be a little more forthcoming with answers. The second question was one that was just now starting to bother her. She didn't want to admit just how much Chuck's obsession was getting to her.

Michelle remembered giving her word to Jenny earlier that she wouldn't tell Anna what had truly befallen Blair for fear that it would freak her out so she knew she couldn't tell Anna the truth; however, she wanted to stay as close to the truth as possible with her response, that was after all the easiest way to tell a convincing lie. "She went away. It was only supposed to be for a few months but then a few months turned into a few more and then she never came home." Michelle started speaking, pausing to think about what she spoke next. "Chuck didn't deal with it well. He went looking for her, he did everything he knew to do to find her and let me just say that generally, if Chuck Bass wants to find you, he finds you. Chuck had the world's best team of PI's searching for any clue to her whereabouts but nothing ever came of it and eventually he had to quit. I don't think he's been back to this room since the day he got back from looking for her. Most people think she went off to college somewhere, far far away from here, away from Chuck's realm of influence." Michelle realized that she was navigating away from the facts and knew that she needed to reel it back in or risk her web of lies getting too complex and that couldn't happen because she would need to repeat them to Jenny later so that no one would contradict her story.

This time Anna turned and looked at Michelle. "Why do you think she left?" She couldn't even explain why that question popped into her head. Michelle had given her explanation enough without asking something that probably didn't have an answer. Yet at the same time, Anna felt a burning desire to know. What would make someone with such a perfect relationship, perfect friends and perfect life want to leave it all behind? "Was it something to do with Chuck?"

Michelle couldn't help but be surprised by Anna's last question, it wasn't one that she had prepared herself to answer so she gave the reason she would leave if it ever came to that. "I didn't really know her, but if I had to guess, I would say that it all just became too much for her. This world, this lifestyle, they come with a lot of pressure and sometimes it can be too much to deal with anymore. I honestly don't think she would have left Chuck if she had another choice but maybe getting out was more important."

"That's sad." Anna spoke turning all the way around as another thought struck her. "Is that why he tried to you know . . ."

"Kill himself?" Michelle completed with raised eyebrows as Anna nodded in response; she'd had no idea that Anna was aware of that happening. "Yeah, that's why." Then almost as an after thought she added. "He's been through a lot you know and I can see the way he looks at you, try not to hurt him."

Anna nodded slightly before sitting down on Chuck's bed. "I just don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anybody but eventually I'm going to have to. Diego's my boyfriend, a title he's worked so hard for over the past few years and I really care about him. I was just starting to give him a real shot at a relationship when I met Chuck and I can't deny that I'm attracted to him too. I try to stay away, to be a good girlfriend but so far it hasn't worked out like that." She looked up to find Michelle meeting her eyes. "The game wasn't the first time I kissed Chuck. Earlier tonight on the dance floor we made out and things were so intense; but things are like that with Diego too. It's like each boy has a different part of me." Anna spoke not knowing just how true her words were. "But I can't be with Chuck, it's not fair to Diego and besides, we've only just met."

Michelle had to bite her lip as Anna talked about her feelings for Chuck. Honestly she'd never endured anything more difficult than listening to how another girl felt about the guy she loved. "Well if you want to minimize the hurt, you need to cut Chuck loose now rather than drag him along."

"You know, Chuck probably doesn't even like me for me. He just likes me because I look like her." Anna spoke, voicing her biggest fear with being involved with Chuck as she picked up the photo with the broken glass once more.

Neither of the girls had noticed that Jenny had walked into the room until she spoke. "That's what I thought until I saw you guys at the club tonight." Sensing Anna's disbelief she spoke again. "He might have been drawn to you because you look like Blair, but he clearly feels something for you outside of that or he wouldn't be pursuing you." After a pause she continued. "What are you guys doing in here anyway?" No one had spoken when she noticed the photograph in Anna's hand. It was one that had been taken the day that Chuck and Blair had said I love you. "Wow, I'd forgotten just how much you look like her." Jenny spoke, walking closer to Anna.

Anna laughed slightly. "You should have seen me before graduation. My hair used to be longer and curly like hers too; it's never been that dark though."

Jenny raised her eyebrows. She couldn't quite identify the source but she felt a sudden rush of hope in her heart; hope that maybe there was something that they were all missing, maybe Anna could be Blair. "How did you get that scar?" Jenny asked her voice shaking as she casually pointed toward Anna's forehead.

In that moment Anna knew that she could say anything and everything. She could completely open up about the two years of memory that she had, the plane crash, the night after junior prom. She opened her mouth to do it before the secrets she was keeping became an even bigger burden; but then she couldn't. If she said that she didn't know who she really was, didn't have a memory, then Jenny would think that she was saying that she was Blair. After the intense conversation they had all just had about Blair and Chuck and the fact that Blair was alive just somewhere else, Anna couldn't drop this on them. It wasn't true, she knew that, and right now was not the time for her new friends to believe she thought otherwise. "Boating accident at the lake. Summer before junior year." She spoke covering. It was half true anyway. She really had been in a boating accident that summer, only it gave her the scar on her knee not the one on her forehead; the one on her forehead was from the crash.

Jenny nodded shaking herself slightly. She needed to snap out of this. Anna wasn't Blair. Anna was Anna and Blair was dead. She knew that the best thing for her right now was sleep, so she extended a hand to help Anna up from the bed and spoke softly. "Come on, let's go to bed."  
**

* * *

  
Just a note: The entire events of the night of junior prom will be revealed later. Several of our Texas characters were involved. What we've learned so far about that night is that for some reason Anna was not with her boyfriend (something that Sam knew), at some point that night she was with Cassie, and that's the night that the dreams started. **

**The photos that Anna was looking at are on my profile. I hope you guys enjoyed. **

**Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated,**

**xoxo  
Kate**


	16. Breakfast at the Palace

School is killing me. Quite literally actually. I got so stressed last week that I forgot to eat/sleep and passed out from exhaustion. I got this back from my beta about a week ago but this is the first chance I've had to look it over before posting. Anyways, I feel the need to warn you that chapters will be few and far between for a while until I can get a surer footing at the B-School. So thank you for being patient with me. All of your past comments have been really encouraging and I hope to update again soon. In better news I did split this chapter into two pieces so you'll get an update now and one in the next few weeks

**A couple of notes**: Thanks so much to **Marylee** for the correction on the last chapter. You were completely correct it was supposed to be Anna. I can't believe I didn't catch it! So really thank you!

**Secondly, it's been pointed out by some of you that my story is moving too slowly/with all the time they've spent together they should have figured things out by now. Others of you have noted that they just met and shouldn't be telling half of what they are much less sharing their darkest secrets. To all of you I will say, as of right now in the story it has been a week since Anna arrived in New York City. I'm trying to keep that in mind as I write so bear with me. And keep letting me know what you think, it really helps. **

**To my reviewers**: chelle2911, ronan03, Lalai, ggloverxx19, LitPrincess2787, SouthernBelle88, schizoOntheDancefloor, CBBW3words8letters, ggff-fan, Heyy, CarolinaGirl21, GGfanficfan09, Wilwarinya, annablake, Jake, Marylee, and Mrschuckbass94. You guys have no idea how much you motivate and inspire me. Really you are all so incredibly awesome. Thanks so much for taking the time to give me some feedback!

**To Jake**: Your continually motivation was particularly helpful. You constantly reminded me that I had people who were interested in my story so thank you for that.

**To Heyy**: I hate to respond to this in a public manor but you replied anonymously so that's the best I could do. First I want to thank you for giving me your honest opinion and doing so in a way that wasn't degrading. Secondly, I'm sorry you don't care for the story and completely respect your opinion. I won't insist that my story is possible because I don't really know. I will say that there is someone out there who looks eerily like me as I have been in more than one situation in which people swore they knew me and my name was Stephanie. (As far as I know whoever Stephanie is though isn't dead but it is what gave me the idea for the story because I was on vacation in Chicago last summer and someone came up to me and hugged me because they thought that I was someone named Stephanie, I also met someone at a camp who thought I was Stephanie, and on a cruise). Anyways, it's cool, if you don't want to read or if you do. That's up to you but thanks for your criticism.

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Lastly! Thanks so so so so much to **ggff-fan** for being the most awesome beta ever. Seriously girl you rock

* * *

Anna groaned as she walked to the door of the suite, if only to make the incessant knocking cease. She'd been lying in bed with the blinds drawn ever since she'd gotten back to the room that morning, due to the horrendous hangover she was sporting. Cassie was in much the same condition in the adjoining room and for once they had the door separating the two rooms locked. After last night, both of them needed a little bit of privacy. The knocking, which she assumed was Sam as the redhead never seemed to be hungover, sounded like someone banging a sledge hammer to her over sensitive ears. "I'm coming, I'm coming." She mumbled, knowing that Sam likely couldn't hear her. She would have spoken louder but she knew her own voice at a normal volume would have sent ear splitting vibrations through her head in her current state.

Reaching the door, she pulled it open, placing one hand over her eyes in expectation of the bright light that was sure to flood the room. "Come in already and shut the door . . . quietly!" She added as an afterthought as she turned away from the glaring light, eyes still shielded.

Chuck held back a laugh as he stepped inside Anna's suite. He doubted that she knew it was him; her behavior would have been different, especially after last night. Not to mention, she was only wearing a set of La Perla lingerie with a flimsy robe loosely tied around her waist, a fact that set Chuck's mind reeling. Clearly she had a killer hangover; something her mannerisms alone would have told him even if the entire room wasn't shrouded in darkness. Shutting the door with care, he walked forward and touched her arm, removing it from her eyes. "Apparently croissants and Breakfast at Tiffany's aren't going to do it this morning." Chuck spoke as he consciously pulled his hand away from her own.

"Chuck!" Anna spoke, her own voice making her cringe. "What are you doing here? Diego would . . ." She trailed off as Chuck placed a finger on her lips, effectively silencing her.

Chuck shook his head, smiling slightly. So slightly it could almost be confused with a frown. "I went too far last night. I want us to be friends and last night at the club was clearly crossing the line. And I'm sorry. So I brought croissants and an Audrey Hepburn movie to make it up to you. This is what friends do right?" In truth he didn't really think that they'd gone too far. In fact he'd like to go much further with her, but he knew that it would be too soon for Anna so he would take a few steps back and work on just being her friend; anything just to be close to her. "I really am sorry. I take full responsibility for the events of last night. The way I acted at the club was way out of line."

Anna had braced herself for the worst and was ready to lambast him with why he needed to leave her alone, but his self-depreciating yet utterly charming statement had her jumping to defend him. "Stop it." Anna sighed. "Last night was just as much my fault as it was yours." Maybe more. She completed silently to herself. As she spoke, she remembered her tour of Chuck's room last night and couldn't help but think that it was amazing that he held any sort of restraint with her after everything that Blair had meant to him. She couldn't deny that she felt the chemistry with him too but she could never be with him, even if it weren't for Diego. She'd never know if what he felt for her was for her or for Blair and she refused to live like that; but there was no reason they couldn't still be friends. "You know I've never actually seen Breakfast at Tiffany's, or any other Audrey Hepburn movie for that matter."

Chuck's jaw dropped slightly in shock. How was it possible that a girl who looked and acted so much like Blair Waldorf could have gone through life without seeing a single Audrey Hepburn movie? Audrey was Blair's idol. She had aspired to be her in every facet of her life (not so much the real Audrey, but Audrey's movie persona); hell Blair had even dreamed in Audrey. What if the girl didn't even eat croissants? "You'll love it, I promise." He assured her as he handed her the DVD. "Now get the movie started and I'm going to fix you something to kill this hangover of yours." He spoke as he walked towards the bar.

Anna stood there, mouth slightly ajar as Chuck proceeded to remove various contents from the bar, from tomato juice, to celery, to vodka, to things she couldn't even identify. Then he pulled out a blender that she wasn't even aware was in the suite. "How did you know where all that stuff was?" She started as she watched him toss ingredients into the blender.

Chuck shot her an amused glare over the blender. "I'm Chuck Bass." He said with a smirk. "I own the hotel remember."

Anna rolled her eyes. "Yes but these clearly aren't the most normal items to have in a bar." She spoke, indicating the mysterious pills she'd seen him pull from a drawer behind the bar and add to the concoction.

Chuck shrugged slightly, not meeting her eyes. He was hoping she wouldn't notice that detail. It was true; the items he'd just removed weren't things that were in every bar in every suite. They were items that were particular to his infamous hangover cure, a cure he specialized for each person; currently he was producing one particular to Blair in hopes that it would do the trick. "I might have had the maid stock some special items in your room this morning after the activities of last night."

Her eyes were wide with surprise and though any normal girl would have been slightly creeped out, to her it didn't feel creepy at all, it made her feel special. "Oh." She spoke softly.

A strange silence fell between them, not exactly awkward in nature; it was more content. As though they were both observing each other, waiting to see where they would go from here. This was the first time the two of them had really been still in each other's presence and it seemed as though they were absorbing each other. There was an unidentifiable quality of the silence, like a heat radiating between the two, that seemingly came out of nowhere. In the silence, Chuck felt the urge to rush forward and kiss her and had to grab the bar to physically restrain himself. Purposefully, Chuck ruined the moment they seemed to be sharing by turning on the blender, killing the all too easy silence.

Anna seemed to snap out of some sort of trance as Chuck began to blend her hangover cure, it was as though she'd been lost for a moment; almost as though, for a moment she'd been someone else. She shook the feeling and turned to place the DVD in the player, excited to see why on earth Chuck Bass had brought her an old classic movie that was most likely a chick flick. Sitting down on the couch, she tried to relax, she didn't know why but her entire body felt on edge.

Chuck poured the mixture into a glass, struggling to shake the strange feeling he'd experienced a few moments before. It wasn't unusual to feel what he felt for Blair when he looked at Anna but always before he'd known that the feelings were a mirage, just residual of what he'd felt for Blair. But this time was different. This time it didn't feel like residual feelings and it didn't feel like they were simply for Blair. He felt something just for Anna, he knew that now; but there wasn't anything he could do about it. She'd insisted that she was with Diego and that they could only be friends. As he walked to the couch, he was still struggling to sort out his feelings.

Anna swallowed hard as Chuck sat down next to her, she was going to have to do something to douse the heat between them or they could never actually be friends and for some reason she felt that she needed him in her life. As he handed her his hangover cure, she downed it doing her best not to look at him as she did; maybe him being here was a bad idea. Anna managed to keep a straight face through the entirety of the mixture but she couldn't resist a wince as she sat down the glass. "That was disgusting." She finished.

Chuck laughed, mostly because her action at that moment was so un-Blair-like that it took him by surprise. The very first time he'd given Blair that mixture she'd made a face at the smell but she'd kicked it back without protest. Ever since, she'd just knocked it back the second he made it. Right now Anna was looking at the glass extremely skeptically. "Don't worry, I have full confidence that the drink will work its magic within the next twenty minutes and you'll be thanking me." Anna lifted her eyebrows clearly still doubtful, causing him to chuckle at her doubt. "Just press play." He spat half frustrated by her disbelief in his abilities, half amused.

Anna rolled her eyes but did as he asked. As the movie started it gave her an excuse to look away from Chuck and distract herself and within moments she didn't need one. She was so engrossed in the classic film that she found herself wiping away tears as Holly found Cat and kissed the man of her dreams to the sounds of rain and Moon River.

Chuck looked over at Anna as "The End" appeared across the screen and couldn't help but smirk. She'd swooned over Audrey Hepburn as much as Blair had when they'd watched the movie together the first time.

Anna looked at Chuck and smiled her few remaining tears still sliding down her cheeks. "That is the best movie I've ever seen. It was perfection."

Chuck smiled, reaching over and wiping away her tears with his thumbs. "Thought you'd like it." He replied softly, very much aware of their current close proximity, just as he was aware that even when crying Anna was beautiful.

"I loved it." She said in return as her tears slowed to a stop. Though even as they did Chuck didn't remove his hands and she didn't tell him to. "Do you think that people really belong to other people?" She didn't know why she was asking him this, especially right now when she'd sworn that they would only, could only, be friends. All she knew was that she desperately needed to know his answer.

Chuck didn't hesitate even a second. "When two people fit together that well, they certainly can't belong only to themselves. So yes they can belong to one another, they'd have to." He found himself moving even closer, this was dangerous territory and he knew it. Now there were mere inches separating their lips, but he wasn't pulling away.

Anna inhaled shakily, having to force her body to even take a breath. As she did she smelled Chuck and asked a question she never believed she would ask him; in fact she would have sworn she wouldn't. "Do you think you could ever belong to someone other than her?"

Anna's statement told him several things all at the same time. First that she knew about his relationship with Blair, how much exactly he didn't know but she knew something. Additionally, he knew that as much as Anna might try to hide her feelings or resist him, she was just as attracted to him as he was to her. Lastly, he knew now just how happy that last fact made him. "God I hope so." He said as he swooped down and captured her lips in his.

The only word Anna would have been able to use to describe her reaction to Chuck's mouth pressing against hers was violent, but not in the way one might think. She didn't shove him away; instead she found her entire body responding to him in an uncontrollable way as her very skin seemed to melt into his. As his lips touched her own, a heat Anna had never known filled her. Her body's responses sent sensations rolling through her that caused her to tremble and grasp at the back of his shirt, holding on for dear life. The second their lips had touched, she was a goner. The simple taste had sent her entire body into frenzy, igniting a fire inside of her that she hadn't known existed. She began kissing him with a fervor that she couldn't begin to comprehend. Every part of her wanted to touch him, to taste him. Damn the consequences, she never wanted to stop touching him.

Desire crackled in the air around them and their kisses became urgent, almost volatile. His arm snaking around her waist, pulling her into him and she complied, snuggling closer to him as his hands began to roam over her body, taking liberty to explore what had been kept from him for so long. Chuck ran his hands down her sides, brushing her breasts, feeling the curve of her waist, her hip. He pulled back slightly, only to move his mouth down from hers to her neck, his kryptonite.

As soon as Chuck's lips touched her neck it felt as though a bucket of ice cold water was dumped on Anna's head. The loss of the sensation on her lips yanked her out of her dazed state. The fire was dead and she was panting as she put as much distance between the two of them as the couch would allow. "Now that was your fault." She spoke panting.

Back in reality Chuck shook himself. He'd been completely lost in that kiss. Not only had he not known whether in his mind he'd been kissing Blair or Annabelle, he hadn't even known who he was. Chuck Bass had disappeared as he'd given in to urges he'd forgotten existed. Feeling a tightness in his pants he glanced down before looking up into Anna's eyes. "I'm inclined to believe that you had just as much a part in that as I did."

"You. Kissed. Me." Anna spoke, gesturing back and forth in accusation.

Chuck smirked. "And you kissed me back. It takes two to tango darlin'." Chuck spoke using a word he knew to be southern.

Anna looked as though she was swallowing an ice cube. "Do not, I repeat do not, call me darlin'." She spoke, disgust ringing in her voice at the word. It was strange, it was a colloquial phrase for her and she'd never minded it's usage before, but now and from him, it just sounded so wrong. Shaking the feeling she realized she was being quite irrational. "We can't do this." She spoke, the tension leaving her body as she slumped onto the couch.

"Can't do what?" Chuck asked; worry overtaking him at the look of disappointment on her face.

Anna shook her head. "This sorry excuse for a friendship. We are clearly incapable. And I won't be more than that, I can't be more than that, it isn't fair to Diego."

Chuck had to hold back from reaching out his hand to hold her in place in case she tried to leave. "You're wrong. We can be friends; we just haven't given it a chance yet." He spoke, desperation creeping in.

Anna sighed, running a hand through her hair, "We couldn't ignore the heat between us for two hours. Don't think I'm delusional or I don't see it, there's something between us, something unlike I've ever experienced before; but it still can't compete with the history I have with Diego."

"We can be friends Anna. This, what's between us," Chuck spoke gesturing between the two of them, "It's not real, not that we don't feel it, it's just a heat that will eventually die down. It's nothing more than a hormonal reaction. Sure there's a connection there but it will fade until it's nothing more than a funny story we remember." Even as Chuck spoke he could taste the lie in his words. He knew that what was going on with Anna was the opposite of everything he was saying it was; what was happening was as lasting as it got but if he wanted her in his life it couldn't be right now.

Inhaling, Anna gazed at Chuck pensively. He made good points and even though her brain told her that he had to be right, there was a tugging at her heart that said he was wrong. Exhaling, Anna nodded. "Fine, but no more kissing."

"No more kissing." Chuck repeated. "And for good measure we should probably avoid touching altogether." He added, thinking about the shock of electricity he felt every time his skin brushed against hers.

Anna nodded, accepting his terms without protest; she knew that he was right. If they wanted to be friends they had to draw some lines and stay behind them.

Chuck sighed in mild frustration. "As much as I hate to say this, we probably should avoid being alone behind closed doors. If we aren't with a group, we should probably stay in nice, well lit, public places. Or else there might be a certain temptation." Chuck said with a wince.

Anna's eyebrows rose in surprise, those rules were fairly intense, though she had to assume that they would work. As long as there was no kissing, no touching, and they avoided being alone together, there wouldn't be any opportunity for weakness. "Deal." She said sticking out her hand to shake on it.

"Forgetting the rules already?" Chuck asked mischievously, though he still took her hand in his and shook it firmly, if only to feel her skin on his once more. Simply rolling her eyes, Anna made to stand. "Wait, where are you going?" Chuck asked standing as well.

"Now who's forgetting the rules?" Anna asked saucily. "We can't be alone together, remember."

Chuck groaned in frustration. "Fine, but that doesn't mean the day has to end. I had a few more ideas of friendly things to do."

Anna couldn't help but smirk at Chuck's attempt not to use any sexual innuendos even though his last statement could easily be made into one. "Okay, what do you have in mind?"

Chuck returned her smirk. "Assuming your hangover is cured . . ." Chuck paused for confirmation.

For the first time in a couple of hours Anna assessed her state of being, realizing immediately that Chuck was right, her hangover was completely gone. She nodded in amazement.

Chuck smiled slightly in return. "Then I was thinking I'd show you around Central Park. I have one spot in particular in mind."

Annabelle smiled brightly. "Lead the way Mr. Bass."

**

* * *

That's all for now. I can legitimately promise an update before October 16 (that's my Fall Break) but I'll try to get one up before then! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. **

**See that cute little button with the word review? I'd love it if you'd click it. Actually it would probably make my day. **

**xoxo  
kate**


	17. Is 'Just Friends' Enough?

**Sorry this is a day later than I wanted it to be but as promised I'm delivering it before the 16****th****! I hope you enjoy it. I know not a lot happens here, but like I said, it was originally at the end of the last chapter. **

To my reviewers: **Sw33theart21, mrschuckbass94, Wilwarinya, CarolinaGirl21, simran-es, chelle2911, rainbowbutterflie, ggloverxx19, CrazyBitch10, SouthernBelle88, LitPrincess2787, ggff-fan, IzmeKeelyn, missy, GGfanficfan09, diamond007, JissyLuv13, annablake, and LovelyLydia. **Thanks so much for all of the reviews last chapter. Love you guys

**Disclaimer: I don't own gossip girl.**

**Rated: T because we all know I can't contain the language **

Special thanks to my awesome beta **ggff-fan **who is basically the best beta ever!

* * *

"Come on Anna, eat the hot dog." Chuck teased, holding out the steaming hot dog that he had just purchased from the vendor. He still couldn't believe that as much as Anna claimed to love New York City, not only had she never been to Central Park, but she'd never had a NYC hotdog.

Anna simply looked between the hotdog and Chuck with a look of utter disgust on her face. "Eww, Chuck that's just gross." She couldn't stop the way her nose wrinkled. Sure Anna was the girl next door type but she was raised by parents who valued cleanliness and quality, neither of which were involved in a _hotdog_, from a street vender no less. "You don't know what's in that or for that matter where it's been!" She exclaimed shaking her head.

He laughed at her expression and how much it reminded him of how Blair would have reacted in the situation. Never-the-less he moved the hotdog closer. "Just try it Anna. Take one small bite and if you don't like it, we will throw it away and go eat lunch at Tavern on the Green."

Anna raised her eyebrows. Picturing Chuck sitting down for lunch at Tavern on the Green was just too priceless not to do it. That place was full of uber-preppy Upper East Siders and their snotty parents and the hardest liquor they served at this time of day was champagne, which wasn't liquor at all. In other words it was the exact opposite of everything Chuck stood for. "Fine." Anna said taking the hotdog in her hand, careful to touch as little of it as possible, before taking a bite.

Chuck watched anxiously. In truth Tavern on the Green wasn't his scene in the slightest so he hoped against all hope that she did in fact like the hotdog. He watched as Anna tentatively took a bite, smirking when her eyes lit up.

Anna was amazed at how good the hot dog tasted. She couldn't stop at one bite and soon enough she had eaten the whole thing. "Oh my God, that tasted amazing! Who knew something so cheap and potentially unclean could taste so good?"

Chuck laughed. "Do you want another one?" They were still right next to the cart. Anna bit her lip, what she always did when she was thinking hard about something. Chuck couldn't help but think about Blair again. She always used to make that face when she was considering if the calories of the food were worth the taste. So acting impulsively he bought two more hotdogs, one for each of them. "Go ahead, you know you want to."

Anna smiled as she took the hotdog. This one she ate slowly savoring it as they walked through the park. This was strangely not weird at all. It felt totally normal to be walking through Central Park with Chuck. Without touching the whole being friends concept was coming quite easily to them. That's when they passed the bathroom. She turned to Chuck, "I'll be right back."

Chuck followed her line of sight and seeing the bathroom panicked, reaching out quickly and grabbing her elbows. "Oh no you don't."

"Chuck take your hands off me, I have to go to the bathroom." Anna said looking at him like he was insane. What the hell was he doing? This was beyond weird. "Seriously, I have to pee." She added when he didn't immediately let her go.

Looking into Anna's confused eyes Chuck snapped back to reality. He'd been thinking about Blair again. It was her reluctance to eat the hotdog that had done it. Years of knowing Blair had made him attuned to her eating habits and he'd put it upon himself to prevent her destructive behavior. Now here he stood, preventing a girl he knew very little about from using the bathroom because of a condition Blair had. He knew there was a certain dejection that appeared in his eyes by a calmness that seemed to run through Anna.

She knew it was connected to Blair, she recognized the wild look in his eye as the one he wore when he forgot that she wasn't her. Anna sighed as he let her hands go but she didn't remove them, rather, she took his hands in her own. "Blair again?" She asked softly.

Chuck nodded. "She was bulimic."

Nodding with understanding Anna gave his hands a squeeze. "I Annabelle Carmichael-Getty, love food and would rather be a happy size four than a miserable size two. When they told me that if I wanted to be a flyer for cheerleading I needed to weigh 115lb, my response was that I would be an amazing base."

Chuck stared at her, slightly amazed. And for that moment he was there with her, completely in the now; with Anna, not Blair. He nodded, struggling to keep himself there. "I'm sorry. It's hard sometimes."

"I know." At that she released his hands taking a step back. "Sometimes I wonder if it's me or her you're talking to."

"But you're not her." He spoke resolutely.

She shook her head, replying with complete certainty. "I'm not her." In truth she normally wouldn't have been so understanding but she'd done her research on Chuck; she knew the kind of things he'd been through, with his parents both dead and his attempted suicide. Add that to the fact that she looked like the girl who he had believed to be the love of his life who had taken off over a year ago and it was no wonder he was a little bit off kilter. "And I have to go to the bathroom." She added as she cracked a smile, breaking a lot of the tension.

Chuck smiled in return and watched as Anna walked away. When she returned the strangeness from the moment before was gone and things were back to the way they had been before Chuck had lost his control. A quick unspoken conversation passed between the two of them, as they each silently agreed to place the earlier strangeness in the past. "So how did Diego react to the little game of truth or dare last night?" Chuck asked casually as they resumed their walk towards his intended destination.

Anna rolled her eyes slightly. "He came by this morning, rather early I might add, to discuss it." Chuck lifted his eyebrows in interest and she continued. "He says that he understands completely, that he isn't angry with me but I know him well enough to know he's mad at me, even if he doesn't want to admit it."

"Is he mad at you, or is he mad at what you did?" Chuck asked pensively. Not only was this a subject they could talk about to help build their friendship, it was a subject he was quite interested in.

Anna shrugged slightly, following as Chuck veered to the left, down a hill. "I can't be sure, but if I was guessing I'd say he's mad at me." Chuck's expression told her to continue her explanation so she complied. "It isn't the fact that I kissed you, he knows why I did that. But he also knows I'm attracted to you and it's something he doesn't like. In his defense he is trying to be understanding, it's just a lot thrown on him all at once and he has a lot of stuff going on with his brother; stuff he won't talk to me about." She sighed in frustration as Chuck slowed to a stop. "You know I get why he keeps that part of his life separate from me, I really do. I know he just wants me to stay safe and out of reach of anyone who might want to hurt me, but sometimes it's gets ridiculous. I mean I feel like he doesn't trust me enough to tell me."

Chuck resisted the urge to pull her into a hug. He could tell that she was in grave need of one but he knew all too well where that would lead at the current moment, so he refrained. "Annabelle, I'm sure that's not the case. He doesn't want to taint you with that kind of thing. Trust me, I've done some shady dealings in the past, things I wouldn't want to involve someone I cared about in and as dangerous as his line of work can be, you know he just wants you safe."

She smiled at Chuck's words of comfort as well as the use of her full name, finding she actually liked the way Chuck said it.

"What are you smiling at?" Chuck asked noticing her change in mood.

Anna just kept smiling as she shook her head slightly. "I actually like it when you call me Annabelle. From everyone else it sounds so formal, but with you, I don't know; it just feels right."

Chuck returned her smile. "In that case Annabelle, how would you like to feed the ducks?" He spoke gesturing to those gathered in the pond.

Anna looked at him curiously. "We don't have any bread."

"Yes we do." Chuck replied as a man who looked suspicious in a black tailored suit walked up and handed him a loaf. Chuck tipped the man and sent him on his way before handing the loaf to a smiling Annabelle.

Shrugging her shoulders Anna took the loaf and began to do just as Chuck had suggested, tearing off a piece to feed to ducks who were now quite interested in her presence as she offered the promise of food.

Chuck smirked. "Aren't you going to ask how I did that?" He asked, taking a few strides to catch up to where Anna was now standing.

"Nope." She said with a nonchalant shrug, doing her best to withhold a smirk.

Chuck looked at her questioningly. "Why not?"

At that Anna couldn't help but let the smirk slip through. "Because I'm finally starting to learn what 'I'm Chuck Bass' actually means."

Chuck's laughter rang throughout the park as he was completely and utterly charmed by the sweet southern girl. Life would be so much simpler if she didn't look so much like the dead love of his life, but what would be the fun in that.

* * *

"Eric, whatever are you going to do without me around to tell you that you simply cannot wear button downs with patterns like the one you were sporting this morning with pants like those?" Jenny chided playfully as she and Eric walked down the street.

Eric laughed as he bumped his shoulder into Jenny's. It had been a while since they'd had the opportunity to hang out just the two of them and the prospect of brunch at Gemma had him quite excited. Add that to the fact that he was leaving for Harvard the following day and wouldn't be coming home for several weeks, they had a lot of talking to do. They had opted to walk all the way from the Upper East Side down to the Village just so they had adequate time to catch up one last time before he left for school. "Maybe I'll just have to Skype you my outfit before class every morning for approval."

Jenny smiled broadly as she practically danced through the street. It was so good to be spending time with Eric, it always felt as though he was the one person she could always be completely herself with and not face judgment; and since he was leaving first thing in the morning for Cambridge she was soaking it in as much as she could. "You know that's not a bad idea." Jenny added with a laugh. "Now if only you could figure out how to keep Chuck sane all the way from Cambridge then we would really be set."

Eric sighed at Jenny's comment, his good mood deflating slightly. "You're right; I wish I could be here to help him more. I feel like he needs support right now. He's better than before, not 100% or even 75% but still better."

"And how much of that do you think has to do with Anna?" Jenny asked, knowing that was probably the question of the moment for everyone right now.

"I don't know." Eric said with another sigh. "A lot." He added, frustrated with himself. "I blame myself for getting her involved. I don't necessarily think that I could have kept Chuck away completely, but I've been encouraging it. I just wanted my brother back."

Jenny nodded. "You don't have to explain yourself to me E, I get it, I really do. I've been spending time with her too. And honestly I think that I would like her even if she didn't look a thing like Blair." Just as Jenny finished speaking she tensed, shaking her head slightly and giving Eric a look that said they would have to continue the conversation later as none other than Anna and Chuck appeared before them, walking out of Central Park and back towards the UES.

"Hey guys!" Anna exclaimed excitedly. She knew that Eric and Jenny had plans all day and he was spending time with his family tonight, so they'd said all but goodbye yesterday since he was leaving tomorrow. It was a pleasant surprise to see him again and she was always happy to see Jenny.

"Hey A!" Jenny responded hugging the brunette; though not missing the almost accusatory glance passing between Eric and Chuck. She had to admit it was strange seeing the two of them hanging out alone. "What are you guys up to?"

Chuck looked away anxiously. He wasn't sure how Jenny and Eric would feel about his efforts to get closer to Annabelle and didn't particularly want to find out at the moment; regardless of the fact that of their friends, Jenny and Eric were likely to be the most supportive of their friendship. So it was Anna who answered. "Well Chuck here surprised me with Breakfast at Tiffany's and croissants this morning, then we went and fed the ducks in Central Park."

At that Chuck added, "Believe it or not it was a morning for new experiences for her, I got to introduce Anna here to both Audrey and Central Park in one day." Even though he knew that at the very least, Eric would see right through him and it was likely Jenny would too.

Eric smiled. "Sounds like you guys have had fun."

"Yes you see we're trying out this new thing, you might have heard of it, it's called 'friendship'" Chuck added, a sarcastic lift to his voice.

Jenny and Anna both rolled their eyes. "Boys." They responded, seemingly in unison before laughing. Almost immediately the four had their attention drawn away from the conversation and to their phones as they simultaneously received a text message.

**Spotted: A and C laughing as they fed the ducks in Central Park. So what are these two to each other? From what I hear they didn't touch once all day long and A has our original bad boy DG wrapped around her finger; but how can C possibly be 'just friends' with a girl looking so much like our dear B. My guess is, he can't.**

Anna sighed in frustration. "I'm getting really tired of this Gossip Girl person, really fast. Does she ever mind her own business?"

The question was meant to be rhetorical but all three of her companions responded with a flat out "No."

"In that case, I need to head back to the hotel before Diego hears about this from someone other than me." Anna spoke, with an apologizing glance at the other three.

Chuck shrugged. "We were heading that way any way, I'll escort you."

Anna nodded and they exchanged goodbyes with Jenny and Eric before heading off, Anna moving quite rapidly as Chuck sauntered behind.

Eric and Jenny remained standing there looking at each other as their counterparts walked away. After a moment they started walking, both seemingly in deep thought. It took almost two blocks before either of them said anything. It was Eric who finally broke the ice. "I'm starting to get suspicious about the two of them."

Jenny nodded. "Me too. I mean, Gossip Girl's right, how can Chuck be 'just friends' with someone who looks so much like Blair Waldorf?" She paused before asking pointedly. "Did _you_ buy the crap from him about it being just friendship?"

"I wanted to." Eric replied, sticking his hands in his pocket. "But the way the two of them were looking at each other is dangerous. They didn't even have to touch for the thing that's between them to be visible. They're playing with fire."

"And from what I hear, Diego could be dangerous." Jenny added. Reminding Eric that it wasn't just dangerous for Chuck's sanity and Anna's emotions due to her involvement; it was potentially physically dangerous with someone like Diego Gutierrez involved.

Eric nodded. "You didn't hear wrong. Diego is not someone you'd want to mess with."

Jenny sighed. "We're going to have to keep a close eye on those two aren't we?"

"Close is an understatement." Eric replied with a slight shake of his head. It was true, if Chuck and Annabelle were anything like Chuck and Blair the situation was intense all on its own. Adding all the old emotions and baggage to the mix with a kick of Diego and the situation might very well combust, fast.

* * *

Anna knocked rapidly on the door in front of her. "Come on Diego, answer. I know you're in there." She added, rapping on the doorway again. She'd called his cell phone twice; both times it had gone straight to voicemail. To her knowledge Diego didn't know about Gossip Girl but since he'd known Chuck back as a pre-teen there was a good chance he'd known about it then. The question was whether or not he'd thought to follow it. Picking up her phone she dialed his once more, this time faintly hearing it ringing on the other side of the door. What the fuck was he doing not answering? If she could hear it, he should be able to as well.

Just as Anna was about to pound on the door once more, Diego walked around the corner, pulling back in surprise when he saw her there. "Hey baby. I see you're feeling better." He paused briefly assessing the situation. "Waiting for me?" He asked with a slight smirk.

"Obviously." Anna replied with a roll of her head. "Where have you been? I've been calling but I'm assuming you left your cell in the room."

Diego nodded in confirmation. "Good assumption. I was at the warehouse." He finished, not willing to share anymore; something that he would continue to remind himself was for her own good.

Anna nodded in understanding, knowing that was as much as she would get out of him on the subject. "Can we go inside? I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Uh huh." Diego said, sliding his key into the lock and opening the door. As he led the way in he shot over his shoulder, "Should I be worried?"

His voice was calm, controlled, but Anna could hear the intensity beneath it. Diego may be good at hiding his emotions but Anna knew when he was bluffing or covering for something. "No. That's actually why I'm here. I needed to talk to you about something to make sure you didn't worry."

"Okay, shoot." Diego said tentatively as he leaned against the bar, while she took a seat on one of the stools.

Anna took a deep breath before jumping in. "I spent the day with Chuck." She heard his sharp intake of breath but forged on none the less. "We just hung out, watched a movie, went to the park, that kind of thing. There was a lot of awkwardness that needed clearing up after last night. I just needed you to know that it was just as friends before someone else tried to make you believe otherwise."

"Someone else like who?" Diego asked curiously. Clearly he was missing something in this equation. He'd known Blair/Anna long enough and well enough to understand that it wasn't in her nature to be upfront about this sort of thing. It wasn't that she would intentionally keep it from him or lie to him about it; but she wouldn't tell him things that would stress him out or worry him, just to tell him.

"Gossip Girl." Anna replied, removing her phone and showing him the message. "I wanted to be the one to tell you so that you understood that nothing happened.

Diego nodded and shrugged. "Okay." After all, what else could he do? This wasn't a situation that he had any control over. Getting mad would only push her away and that was the last thing he wanted to do; well that and tell her that she really was Blair Waldorf.

Anna shrugged. "That's it? Okay?"

"Do you want me to get mad?" Diego asked pointedly. "I trust you. And if you tell me that there's nothing going on with you and Chuck, I believe you."

Immediately, Anna stepped forward and wrapped herself in Diego's arms. Sometimes she couldn't believe how lucky she was that he was so understanding of all of this. Most guys when faced with this type of competition did not react well, take Jackson for example. But Diego was doing everything right and as of right now she couldn't be more content. She had Diego as her boyfriend, someone who truly cared about her and treated her well and she got to keep Chuck, who was so intriguing and new, as a friend.

As Anna snuggled into his embrace, Diego inhaled deeply, appreciating her scent. He didn't know how much longer he would get to have her in his life and he was scared of losing her, so scared. If she ever found out about who she really was and how he'd known all along, she'd never forgive him. Anna might be worried about him stressing over Chuck Bass but compared to his own secrets, Chuck Bass was barely a blip on his radar.

* * *

"Hello Eric." Chuck said with a smirk as he walked into his seemingly well-lit suite. The only other person who had a key was his little brother and he knew that the maids knew better than to leave the lights on. Besides, he'd been expecting a visit.

Eric stood from where he was sitting on the bed. "You know, I'm always surprised when you do that. It never fails."

Chuck simply laughed. "Onward with the lecture dear brother, I won't keep you from your goal. Go ahead and tell me to stay away from her, I won't even get angry."

Eric raised an eyebrow, that was perceptive even for Chuck, but for once he was only halfway on target. "I'm not going to tell you to stay away from her."

"Really?" Chuck asked, his eyebrow lifting as well.

Eric nodded. "Really." He paused composing his thoughts before continuing. "I'm just worried you aren't going to be able to be 'just friends' with Anna and how that's all going to work out."

At Eric's statement Chuck laughed. He laughed so hard that he was almost doubling over. For someone who rarely ever smiled, Chuck had laughed more today than most normal people would.

"This isn't funny Chuck. I'm being serious. I don't think you can be 'just friends' with her!" Eric exclaimed, indignation creeping into his voice.

Chuck ran a hand over his head as he settled down, it took great effort to regain his control. "I'm not laughing at what you think I'm laughing at." Chuck responded. "I'm laughing at the fact that you think I ever had any intention of being only her friend."

Eric leaned away slowly in understanding. "You're using friendship to get close to her."

"Of course." Chuck said with a shrug. "It's not that I don't want to be her friend. It's just I have every intention of becoming the type of friend she sleeps with." Chuck paused, taking a seat on the bed next to Eric. "Need I remind you, my only relationship before now that's ever amounted to anything started with friendship? Besides, right now Diego is in the way."

"Chuck, need I remind you that Diego is dangerous." Eric spoke pointedly.

Chuck smirked. "I have to bide my time and wait for the perfect opportunity to swoop in and replace him, that way he can't feel overly affronted. Should he still feel the need to lash out, I think you've forgotten just what 'I'm Chuck Bass' really means." He finished, pulling from Anna's statement earlier that day.

Chuck watched as Eric shook his head, even as a slight smile appeared on his face. "I guess all I can say to that then is good luck."

With that the two boys turned to more interesting matters, namely Halo IV.

**

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A/N: So I know this was another rather light hearted chapter but after this one the story will begin to pick up. All the secrets and lies that everyone's keeping are going to start getting in the way. Anyways I hope you enjoyed it. **

**Reviews are appreciated.**

**xoxo  
kate**


	18. Let the Battle Begin

**So I've dedicated A LOT of time to this fanfic lately and am very happy to say that you'll see consistent updating over the next couple of months so get excited. There's a poll on my profile that pertains to this fanfic just so I know what you guys want to read more of, so if you could fill it out that would be great **

**One thing that goes for the next several chapters – I do not go to Columbia. I did a lot more research than I planned on to try to be at least somewhat accurate with what I say in this fanfic but eventually you'll find I let my imagination get carried away (more on that later) If any of you do go to Columbia I'm sorry for butchering the set up of your school *hugs***

To my reviewers: **simran-es, QueenBee10, ggff-fan, CarolinaGirl21, mrschuckbass94, annablake, Lali-chan, chelle2911, SouthernBelle88, rainbowbutterflie, GGfanficfan09, Chairforever, Taiyo To Tsuki No Megami, Anonymous GG Lover, Nikki, ladychrysanthemum, Wilwarinya, IAmAurora, LitPrincess2787, Sw33tHear21, LovelyLydia, B3ingObsessed, Jasmine, Tiff xoxo, BloodCry, and audreyM67. **Thanks so much for all of the reviews last chapter. Love you guys. To the numerous anonymous reviews on this chapter, I get that you guys want Anna to figure out she's Blair, I'm sorry it's taking longer than you want. Honestly that's why I didn't originally peg this story as Chuck/Blair because I'm sorry to inform you but it's going to be awhile before Anna remembers EVERYTHING. Other characters are going to figure it out first.

**Disclaimer: I don't own gossip girl. **

**Rated: T because we all know I can't contain the language**

Special thanks to my awesome beta **ggff-fan **

* * *

Anna clutched tightly to the iced mocha in her hand. She couldn't deny she was anxious about moving in today. Sure, she and Cassie were still going to be living together and everything; it wasn't like she had gotten stuck with some random roommate, but it didn't change the fact that this whole day was going to be crazy. She'd been assured that she would be in the best dorm at Columbia - it was the same dorm her mom had lived in when she'd attended, but there was still going to be all these new people she didn't know. Even though she thrived on taking control of a situation, Anna was nervous. This wasn't high school anymore, she wasn't the perfect popular girl that everyone adored and there was a chance, however slim, that these people wouldn't like her. Add that to the fact that they had to get all of their things moved in in only a few hours time and it was enough to stress out anyone. "The U-haul truck will be there when we get there right?" Anna asked Cassie as she rested her head on the cab's headrest.

Cassie nodded, smiling reassuringly. She could see how nervous Anna was and even though she wanted to do something to calm her, she really didn't know what to say. Anna would be fine once she got there, Cassie knew that, the brunette had practically inherited a life and a set of friends and now she was going to have to prove that she was still the same, headstrong, charismatic girl that everyone assumed her to be. "Yes the U-haul will be there and we will be able to unload immediately."

Anna took a sip from her drink, trying to ease her nerves. They'd had their things shipped up and stored when they left, keeping only the necessities with them at the hotel the previous week. But somehow they'd forgotten the small detail of movers. It wasn't like they had that much stuff or anything, but they were still going to have to unload it themselves. "I can't believe you didn't schedule movers to actually put the stuff in the room. You could have at least warned me when I got my manicure yesterday." Anna said taking a long draw from her coffee, she was going to need it if she was about to have to unload all of her things.

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Oh please Anna, quit acting like you're high maintenance or something. We both know that you don't care about your appearance that much." Cassie spoke, smirking slightly, really it wasn't like Anna to act like such a prima donna. Granted, she didn't really do manual labor but it wasn't like this was hardcore moving. So to change the subject she decided to poke fun at her friend. "Unless dating Diego has changed things . . ." Anna didn't even look at her so she dug deeper. "Or maybe it's Chuck? How is the Basshole these days? I heard you guys spent all day Saturday together . . . not touching."

At the mention of Chuck, Anna turned her fiercest glare on Cassie. She knew better than to prod around in her love life. Besides she was already in a fowl mood, not to mention completely confused when it came to Diego and Chuck. Her eyes widened at the realization of what she'd just been thinking. She wasn't supposed to be confused about Diego and Chuck. Chuck was her friend, Diego was her boyfriend. That was all there was to it. But now that she'd thought it she couldn't un-think it. She was definitely confused about the boys and where she stood with each of them. She sighed in frustration, turning her gaze away from Cassie and looking out the window. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Being done with Jackson was supposed to be the end of boy drama at least for a while, yet here she was caught between two boys once again. The difference was this time she really didn't know what to do. It wasn't a choice between the boy people thought she should be with and the boy she had chemistry with, literally. She felt an intense attraction to both boys and neither was probably good for her.

Sensing a change in her friend, Cassie decided that perhaps her folly of forgetting to call the movers was the safer topic of conversation after all. Clearly, there was something else bothering Anna, something she really didn't want to talk about. "Hey Anna, don't stress, seriously, we'll be fine and I'm sure it'll be fun."

Anna shot Cassie a smile but she knew without being able to see it that the smile was a pathetic attempt at feigning happiness. She and Cassie were closer than close but it was times like these when she missed Sam. She and Cassie were just always so serious together whereas Sam knew how to lighten the mood and take her mind off the serious stuff. Of course Sam would have been here if she hadn't been starting her internship with Jenny today.

Cassie studied Anna for a moment, not quite sure what to say. Whatever was going on in that head of hers had something to do with Diego and Chuck, it was obvious. Deciding to make Anna's turmoil a little easier she withdrew her phone, texting the guy Anna should have texted to help them out. But even as she did she tried to lighten the mood, throwing out a joke. "Besides maybe I can find some cute guys on our hall to help out." With that she shot her friend a seductive look causing Anna to burst out laughing because honestly that was the last thing either of them needed.

As they pulled up to the curb in front of their home for the next year, Anna's laughter slowed as she stilled. She couldn't believe what she was seeing._ No effing way_. She thought to herself as she reached for the door handle, at this point she didn't even know why she was surprised anymore.

Cassie looked at Anna strangely, what was going on now? The girl should have already gotten out of the cab yet for some reason she was still sitting there, staring out the window with a rather shocked look on her face.

After a moment, Anna managed to speak once more. "I think we already have enough guys in our lives." With that she climbed out of the cab, knowing Cassie would take care of the cab driver.

After taking care of the cab fee, Cassie rushed up beside her friend who'd already grabbed their bags from the trunk, continuing to stare at her, trying to figure out just what the issue was, then she saw it. "Is that our U-Haul?" She asked dumbstruck as a set of what looked to be half a dozen movers was emerging from the U-Haul carrying what had to be their things, she recognized the boxes. "What's going on?" She asked, realizing that Anna clearly knew as she seemed to simply accept the fact that other people were unloading their things and instead seemed to be looking for someone.

Anna didn't bother answering Cassie's question, she'd know soon enough. Rather she looked around for the person she knew had to be there somewhere. Spotting him leaning up against the fence in front of Hartley Dormitory, she shook her head as he shot her a smirk. He sauntered over slowly, pulling out a bouquet of peonies, causing her to narrow her eyes. "You know I would ask how you knew but I'm pretty sure I know what the answer would be."

Chuck's smirk widened, it was amazing how well she seemed to know him already when he had so much he still wanted to learn about her. She already seemed to have figured him out completely though by the look on her friend's face it would seem that she hadn't.

Cassie looked between the two, still completely confused, an emotion that she was not in any way used to feeling. "You may know the answer but I sure as hell don't. What the hell is going on here?"

Chuck simply raised an eyebrow at Anna, indicating he would allow her to inform Cassie herself. Anna sighed, laughter beginning to ease into her voice as she noticed a twenty-something girl in a pencil skirt flittering around behind Chuck with a clip board and what appeared to be a large file with a color palate about to slide out. Anna looked at Cassie, a small smile involuntarily appearing on her face. "Chuck hired a team of movers to unload our things and what I assume is an interior designer to do our decorating."

Chuck nodded, surprised yet not surprised at all that she had noticed the designer; sometimes it was hard to remember that she wasn't Blair. Motioning the blonde girl over, he gestured. "This is Amelia, Amelia, meet Annabelle and Cassandra. Amelia decorated the Van Der Woodsen - Bass apartment, which I'm certain you've seen as well as Nathaniel's penthouse and the majority of my other hotel, The Empire."

Anna had already decided that she didn't particularly like the simpering blonde but she had to admit it would be nice not to have to deal with the decorating herself and the girl's credentials seemed good enough. So she nodded at the girl, exchanging pleasantries before looking back to Chuck. "It seems you've thought of everything."

Chuck smirked. "Actually, you haven't even met my favorite person." As he spoke he gestured over a brunette that Anna couldn't help but think looked like she belonged on an episode of the Vampire Diaries. "Annabelle, Cassandra, this is Bex. She'll assist you with any art purchases you wish to make for the room."

Cassie watched as once more, Anna made small talk with one of Chuck's employees or whatever they were but it didn't stop her from being seriously confused. "How did you even know we didn't have movers and what makes you think that you have the right to do any of this?" Cassie asked, feeling imposed upon by Chuck Bass and his team of decorators.

Picking up on the tone of annoyance in Cassie's voice, Anna couldn't help but laugh, honestly it was quite funny. "He's Chuck Bass." She managed through her laugher.

Cassie looked at her with narrowed eyes. She didn't know what was up with Anna but she wasn't acting like herself. It wasn't like her to let anyone do things for her, especially a guy, and especially not behind her back. "What does that even mean?" She snapped, rather aggressively.

Chuck just shook his head, it was clear that there was a spitfire hidden beneath this one's cool exterior. The old Chuck Bass would have reveled in unearthing that fire to its fullest extent, this Chuck Bass would simply be wary as the girl clearly had a good deal of influence in Anna's life. "You'll learn, everyone does."

Narrowing her eyes further until they were nothing more than slits Cassie took a step towards Chuck. She didn't care who Chuck Bass was or how many hotels he owned, it didn't mean that he could just waltz into their lives and screw around. "Maybe I don't care." She spat.

Anna watched as Chuck's eyes lit with a fire that she felt as though she recognized. Even though she'd never actually seen Chuck lose it, somehow she knew that was what was about to happen. Sliding between her two friends she pressed her hands to either side, pushing both of them back. "Cut it out guys."

Chuck felt a shock run through him, not at Anna's words or her interference but her touch. They'd been so careful not to touch each other over the past few days that when she'd done it mistakenly it had sent him spinning. He could tell she felt it too as her eyes locked with his. Slowly, he moved his hand not holding the flowers to meet hers which was still pressing firmly into his chest.

Anna froze. Why had it felt like that when she'd touched Chuck? This wasn't right. Their gazes locked and she knew she should look away, but she couldn't, she didn't want to.

"What's going on here?"

Three heads snapped in the direction of the voice that had just interrupted their strange moment to see Diego standing there looking dashing but if you looked at his eyes you could see the slight threat of danger. Anna backed away from Chuck as though she'd been pushed, smiling as she moved towards Diego. "Chuck decided to hire movers to unload our stuff since Cassie and I forgot."

Diego narrowed his eyes at Chuck before glancing to Cassie for confirmation of the story. He didn't like it but he could tell that he was starting not to trust Anna anymore, at least not when it came to Chuck. When Cassie nodded he noticed the disjointedness of her movement. He didn't think she was covering for Anna, after all Cassie had been the one to text him to come help rather it appeared as though Cassie was deep in thought about something, she was having trouble processing something and that scared him. The look in Anna's eyes was begging him to simply take her hand but he was troubled by the look in Cassie's eyes and the fact that Chuck wasn't looking at them at all. Swallowing his pride he took Anna's hand, drawing her towards him. "Well then I suppose thanks are in order. Not that I minded getting my hands dirty helping you move."

Anna smiled, tilting her head slightly. "You were here to help?" Sometimes Diego surprised her, well actually he was always surprising her. Just when she thought that she had him figured out something like this would come up and he'd prove just how much she still had to learn about him.

"Of course." He spoke, smiling as he placed a kiss on her lips as she leaned into him. "And these . . ." He spoke withdrawing an arrangement of red, orange, and yellow followers from behind his back. "Are for you. I know they aren't your favorite but I wanted to bring you something and this was the best the stand I passed by had to offer."

Anna's smile brightened as she accepted the flowers. Sure they weren't fuchsia peonies but they were still lovely. "Thank you. How'd you even know I needed help?" Diego moved his eyes to Cassie who was still standing there watching everything with eyes like a hawk. Anna's eyes followed and she smiled. "Of course. But didn't you have a meeting with your brother?"

Diego hissed slightly at her mention of the meeting, even as Chuck and Cassie's ears both seemed to perk up, his attention drawn back to the conversation. Diego took everything in but simply shrugged. "Yeah, I ditched when I got Cassie's text."

Anna's eyes widened slightly. "Can you do that? I mean, can you just walk out on things like that?" She knew she was treading a thin line right now, Diego had made a conscious effort lately to not keep her so much in the dark but at the same time he was careful not to share too much. They were in unexplored waters right now; she'd never tried asking so much while still expecting an answer.

Diego inhaled. He could shut down this conversation but he didn't want Anna to think that he wasn't serious about opening up to her. However, he didn't want anyone else listening in on what he might say not to mention he didn't want to cross a line and tell her too much. "I can. Alex wasn't happy, he's still the boss and doesn't like my insubordination. But honestly my brother would rather I wasn't there at all so the more I ditch, the better he feels. Besides, you are much more important to me than he is, there's nothing he could do to keep me from coming to help you."

Anna nodded, knowing that what Diego had just said was a lot more than he had ever told anyone else. She also knew that there was no point asking any more questions, he'd already told her all he felt that he could. So instead she smiled and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "Well thank you for coming. I guess you need to get moved in yourself?"

Diego shook his head slightly. "My move in day isn't until tomorrow. But since everything's taken care of, maybe I can take you to breakfast?"

"Breakfast sounds great." Anna spoke with a smile. She felt a little guilty walking off and leaving Chuck after all he'd done for her this morning but right now she and Diego weren't on the sturdiest ground, even though they might be acting like otherwise. They needed some alone time to reestablish their relationship. And honestly, friends or not, the last thing she needed right now was to be around Chuck after that electric shock she'd felt touching him earlier. "Just let me grab my purse." She said indicating the small stack of items next to Cassie, including her suitcase and her matching DVF purse.

Diego nodded and walked over to where Chuck was standing, holding out his hand. "Thanks for helping the girls out this morning. I know they appreciate it." His voice and mannerisms may have been friendly but the look in his eyes was a firm signal for Chuck to back off.

Chuck took his hand, knowing he couldn't very well refuse it. He accompanied the handshake with a small almost imperceptible nod of his head, telling Diego that the message was heard, loud and clear.

As Anna appeared once more by Diego's side, she made sure to shut down her emotions as she addressed Chuck. "Thanks again for all of this. Can you let Amelia know that I'll be back in an hour and she, Bex, Cassie, and I can sit down and work things out?"

"Of course." Chuck replied with a small smile before Anna turned and walked away, hand in hand with Diego. Chuck wanted nothing more than to run after them and bring her back but he knew it wasn't time yet. He'd made the conscious decision to not rush things. For the time being he had to stay in the friends only zone. Gradually that would change and one day something would happen and they wouldn't be able to be just friends anymore. He simply had to do something Chuck Bass had only ever done for one other woman, and that was wait.

The moment Anna and Diego were out of earshot, Cassie approached Chuck. She'd been silent for the whole of Anna and Diego's conversation, only nodding her assent to Anna's breakfast date as she picked up her purse. Instead, she'd been thinking; carefully turning over every inch of what had just happened in her mind. That had been the first time she'd actually seen Chuck and Anna interact other than at the game of truth or date and that time she'd been more focused on keeping Diego calm. But now that she'd seen it, really seen it, she couldn't deny that everything Sam had said about the two of them being strangely magnetic was right. It was strange because that was the way that she'd always viewed Anna and Diego, magnetic, dangerously magnetic; as though if they weren't carefully monitored they might somehow collide and combust. As much as she'd always disliked Diego, somehow she now found herself backing him. It was as though he was the home team and Chuck was some intruder; Diego while still dangerous, was the familiar one now, while Chuck was the wildcard. "I don't like you." She spoke firmly though softly, drawing his attention to her.

Chuck's eyes met Cassie's instantly. He'd actually forgotten she was even there as he had allowed his mind to wander to thoughts of Anna and of course thoughts of Blair. "Really? I would have never guessed."

"You think you know everything don't you?" Cassie asked, though it was really more of a statement.

Chuck had to hold back a roll of his eyes. This girl accused him of thinking he knew everything but it was clear that she was the same way. He was going to have to watch out for her, that was for sure. "I know enough."

Cassie's lips pursed and as she spoke once more, she knew her tone did little to hide her emotions. "You know nothing."

Chuck was instantly intrigued. "Care to elaborate on what exactly I don't know."

She knew she shouldn't pick a fight, especially not with Chuck Bass since he did seem to leverage quite a bit of power, not to mention a certain hold over her best friend, but right now she couldn't seem to help it. "You act like you know who Anna is but what do you really know? Her name, where's she's from, a few surface details about her life? Diego knows her, he really knows her. He was there with me during one of the lowest points in her life and that's something that you can never begin to comprehend about her. You don't know anything at all!"

Chuck found the words slipping from his mouth before he could sensor them. "I'd like to." Cassie's eyes widened in shock and he felt strangely open and vulnerable, something he didn't do ever. No one got to see that part of him unless he damn well meant to show them. "I'm already starting to care about her, that much should be obvious. But I'm not an imbecile. I know she has a boyfriend that she doesn't intend on leaving any time soon. And contrary to popular belief, I actually like Diego, he's a good guy if a little rough around the edges." Chuck watched as Cassie's eyes widened even further and he couldn't help but continue to lay it on. He might have just found the way to win the girl over and honestly when it came to Annabelle, he could use all the help he could get. "Just like I know that you are just trying to protect her. You want to be a good friend, I get that. But I can assure you, you don't have to protect her from me."

Cassie swallowed, her throat feeling dry. This guy had an intensity to him that she couldn't quite identify or even really comprehend. It was clear that when he set his sights on something he wanted, he didn't give up until he got it. And what was even more clear to Cassie was whether he wanted to admit it or not, Chuck Bass wanted Anna. "I have to protect her from you trying to use her to replace someone else." She spoke, her voice calm and in control.

Chuck inhaled. He hadn't been expecting Cassie to go there, though honestly as Anna's friend she had every right. He could be honest with her now, he could lay it all on the line, tell her everything, or he could take two steps back and get out of there before he made her realize just how messed up he really was. The first might endear her or it could scare her, the second would erase any progress he'd made with this particular friend and in truth that could end up being his biggest obstacle. "What do you know about Blair?" He asked, choosing to be cautious in his approach. He knew the company tag line was something to do with Blair just taking off because she couldn't handle it anymore, no one was supposed to know what had really happened; but the girl before him was observant there was a chance that she had caught on to slip ups over the course of the past week.

Assessing the situation before her, Cassie quickly realized a few things. The first being that Chuck knew the game. It appeared as though he was being honest with her but it was clear that he wasn't going to be tricked into saying anything he didn't want to say. At the same time, he knew just how to learn the information he wanted. But she knew the game too, and when there was another player, that was something she was quick to recognize. The second thing she realized was that Chuck still cared a great deal about Blair whoever she was. Being too sensitive to that would immediately trigger Chuck's sense of suspicion because as she'd already noted, he knew the game. "She was a big deal around here, you loved her, she loved your best friend. You won her heart and she shattered yours by getting the hell out of Dodge the summer after graduation. And most importantly, you had trouble getting over her, in fact you still aren't."

Chuck twisted his head away, nodding as he fought back the furry. "You don't go easy on anyone do you."

"Never." Cassie replied crossing her arms over her chest.

His eyes snapped to meet hers. "And loyal to a fault?" Cassie gave a sight nod of agreement, motioning her head for Chuck to continue with his assessment. She was harsh but she fully expected him to be harsher. "You keep quiet unless you have something to say, in which case a hurricane couldn't stop you from speaking your mind. Sam resents you, Diego respects you, and Annabelle relies on you." Cassie's eyes widened at Chuck's all too correct evaluation; he might be better at the game than she thought and suddenly she wasn't so sure she wanted Chuck to keep talking, but Chuck was far from done. "Sam resents something you've done in the past, perhaps your closeness with Anna, perhaps something else. Diego respects the fact that you command a certain attention and you seem to have a level head on your shoulders which he doesn't see very often in his line of work. So kudos because it's hard to earn his respect. And Annabelle, well she is somewhat dependent on you, for what, I'm not certain. But it's clear she looks to you when she's making an important decision." Chuck paused for a breath but Cassie didn't speak, she couldn't. "And you Cassandra, you trust no one. No one gets to see the real you because somewhere along the way you let someone in . . . and whoever that person was, they let you down. I think Annabelle knows more than most but not everything because you'd never risk that again."

Cassie's mouth dropped in shock. She wanted to yell at him, to tell him how off base he was on everything, but she couldn't because Chuck Bass wasn't off base even a little bit, he was right on target. Opening her mouth, she wasn't sure what words would come out but she knew she had to say something. "You're right."

Chuck lifted a shoulder lightly. "As dear Annabelle reminded you, I'm Chuck Bass."

"But you've only known me a week. Actually you've known Anna for a week, you've only known me a few days and even then we've exchanged maybe two words before today yet you completely nailed me." Cassie spoke, still completely thrown.

Chuck couldn't help the smirk that rose to his features. "I wouldn't say I nailed you." He spoke suggestively earning a slight glare from the girl before him. Instead of continuing he straightened his spine a little. "I will say you were harder to read than most and I had an advantage as your friends seem to wear their hearts on their sleeves. It allowed me to learn a lot quite quickly."

Cassie nodded. She wasn't sure what to think of Chuck now. She'd always thought she was a good judge of character, a good reader of a person's emotions but she hadn't read Chuck or at least, she hadn't read Chuck as well as he had read her. "I think my first judgment of you was wrong, Chuck Bass."

"And what does that mean?" He asked carefully.

Cassie simply shook her head. "I'm not sure." Pausing she thought over her next words. "I don't think that's ever happened to me before." Chuck laughed lightly but she continued. "I thought you were a spoiled rich brat who'd never worked for anything a day in his life. I thought you were attention seeking, overdramatic, and most definitely a playboy. On top of that I thought you might be the most dangerous person I'd ever encountered." Once more she shrugged, seemingly at a loss for words. "And you're not any of that."

Chuck nodded, accepting her assessment quite quickly. "I use to be. I use to be all of that and more. Blair changed me. I didn't realize how much until I was already a different person. Honestly I thought she had ruined me. When I didn't have her I went through every day comparing every girl to her. Then when I got her for real everything was so perfect that after I'd lost her I couldn't move on. She'd truly wrecked me because no girl would ever compare. There was one that came close but it wasn't enough, until Annabelle."

Cassie was listening with rapt attention. Chuck was opening up to her and she could tell that this wasn't something to expect to happen again. It was obvious he knew that she was important if he wanted to be in Anna's life, important enough that he had to give her something to go off of to start to trust him. "You've only known Anna for a week, how could you possibly know something like that?"

Chuck ran a hand over his face and through his hair, leaving it at his neck as he looked at her. He'd never done this, never bared his soul like this to someone he hardly knew and wasn't sure he could trust, the closest to that he'd come was that night in jail with Humphrey and he'd learned his lesson then. "She looks like Blair, so much like her it's scary. And I'm not going to lie and say that's not what drew me in. It caught me hard and fast. But it made me get to know her and God she's fucking incredible, you have to know that. She's not incredible because she looks uncannily like my ex-girlfriend. She's incredible because that's who she is."

"You've got it bad." Cassie surmised, finding her arms uncrossing.

Chuck just nodded. "Yeah, I've got it bad."

Cassie sighed. "Why don't we get those flowers you brought in a vase and we can see just what kinds of ideas your little employees have about the dorm room. Of course you are free to go if you want."

Chuck found a grin appearing on his face. It might have been painful but one thing was for certain he'd taken ten steps forward in winning over Annabelle's best friend today. Ten really big steps. "No, I'll stay."

Cassie didn't smile, they certainly weren't there yet, but she did give Chuck a sincere nod before turning and following the simpering blonde and the vampire-looking brunette into the building.

Cassie was still sitting in the now semi-decorated room when Anna returned a few hours later. She'd been lounging on her bed, waiting for her roommate to get back from her rendezvous with Diego, they had a lot to discuss.

"Wow." Anna exclaimed as she stepped into the mostly decorated space for the first time. She hadn't expected so much to have gotten done in her absence but she also hadn't expected to be gone for several hours. Breakfast had turned into a campus tour followed by a picnic in the center of campus and a trip to the bookstore to buy school books in the afternoon. It was as though Diego was purposefully trying to keep her away from the room or maybe away from who might be in it. Not that she hadn't enjoyed spending the day with him, she had and it had been good for them, given them a chance to talk that they hadn't seemed to have lately but Diego's jealousy was becoming apparent and Anna was not a fan. "You guys sure did make a lot of progress."

Cassie sat up, looking at Anna pensively. So much had happened today yet so little had actually been said. "You know we can change anything you don't like."

Anna simply shook her head as she observed the room. "No, I love it. Really it's fantastic." Every part about the room was chic and stylish and so utterly representative of her and Cassie. There were hews of pink, lavender, turquoise, and black that accented the white walls as well as the room itself; she tried to figure out the central source as she knew that there was something anchoring the room that she hadn't identified yet. But honestly there was no way she could have done a better job. "You really nailed it."

"I thought you would." Said Cassie with a small smirk. "Unfortunately I can't take the credit. Amelia was just as good as Chuck had said, and Bex has a great eye for art. But really everyone was following Chuck's orders. He basically designed the room." A surprised look from Anna made Cassie feel the need to clarify. "It wasn't that I took a back seat it's just he put his ideas out there and I couldn't seem to think of anything better. Seriously he's good."

Anna nodded somehow unsurprised. "Where is our Mr. Bass now?" She asked casually. If he had stayed after she had left, she was surprised he hadn't waited around to see her again.

This time Cassie had to withhold the smirk. It wasn't that she was surprised at Anna's inquiry; in fact she was the opposite. She'd predicted that that would be one of Anna's first questions and so it was. "He had a business meeting he had to attend to. He left maybe an hour ago."

"Oh." Anna spoke lightly. Stepping forwards into the room. Really it was all beautiful. That's when her eyes landed on the flower arrangement situated on the table before her and just like that she could see where the room gained its inspiration. It was all drawn from the arrangement of peonies Chuck had brought her. Frowning slightly she lifted Diego's flower arrangement, bringing it into her field of vision.

"What's wrong?" Cassie asked, immediately sensing a disturbance with her friend. The change was enough to cause her to sit up on the edge of the bed.

Anna furrowed her brows as she studied the room then the flowers before her once more. When she finally met Cassie's gaze, she knew her eyes must have appeared troubled. "The don't seem to fit do they?" She asked, knowing Cassie would know what she meant.

Cassie looked at Anna then at the arrangement in her hands, comprehension dawning on her. Her own voice was tinged with a quiet sadness as spoke, keeping it as real as she could. "No, they don't."

**C showed up bearing flowers, movers, and decorators to help A move into her new digs with Ca. But our good friend DG didn't seem to appreciate it much as he whisked A off to a day long date. A better pick a boy soon or I just might pick for her. **

**you know you love me**

**xoxo  
****gossip girl**

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Hope you enjoyed this somewhat Cassie centric chapter. As always, reviews are appreciated.

Xoxo  
kate


	19. Where There's Smoke, There's Fire

**ETA:** I really hate doing this but I have once more disabled anonymous reviews. I'm done dealing with the spamming of my account by what I believe to be one person. Within twenty minutes I received three anonymous postings:

**1 - er, can i ask how this is a chuck and blair story? Blair's not even in it.****  
Don't put it in the CB section if it doesnt even have one of the characters.19 chapters in and still nothing**

**2 - I hate Anna so much. Can't u just make her blair agan?**

**3 - we want BLAIR**

It's in the CB section because another reader reviewed months ago saying "You should really put this story down as Chuck and Blair you will probably get more readers that way because I think by reading the summary readers have a fair idea that Anna is Blair." As for the fact that you clearly want Blair – I hear you, I promise. I would have heard you if you'd only sent one message and I am well aware that you have posted basically the same review for other chapters. Really if you have that much of a problem with the way I write just quit reading or for goodness sake fess up to your comments with a signed review.

Sorry to those of you who had to read this that it doesn't affect as well as those nice anonymous reviewers out there who just want to review without making an account (I'm sorry that there are people out there who complicate that). And thanks to everyone for their support. I'll probably be posting this or something like it at the start of the next chapter as well.

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Here's my next update as promised By the way there's still a poll on my profile concerning this fanfic (I've already written the next four chapters but the poll results are going to affect where I go from there).

Thanks to my reviewers: **VanillaNewYork, ggff-fan, Kels, annablake, D, ggloverxx19, CarolinaGirl21, SouthernBelle88, wrightangal, B3ing0bsessed, LitPrincess2787, chairlovforever, LovelyLydia, mathildaas, Sw33tHeart21, and GGfanficfan09. **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

**Rated:** T as per usual.

Thanks again to my amazing beta **ggff-fan!**

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Jenny smiled as she watched Sam from her office, there was most definitely a fire in that girl. She loved fashion it was obvious in the way that she was looking at everything in awe as she worked. Right now Sandra, who was over the interns when they weren't working with a designer, had her fixing the hem on dresses, but she was doing it as though it was the most fun she'd ever had. Looking back at the designs she'd been working on, she decided she had a minute and walked out onto the design floor.

Checking on a couple of the interns' projects as she walked Jenny made her way towards Sam. "How's your first day going?" She asked approaching from the front so as not to surprise Sam causing her to make a mistake.

Sam looked up at Jenny and smiled. "Great, really great. I mean my hands are going to be covered in band-aids by the end of the day but really I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jenny shook her head. "Well you're doing great." It was strange, if she had a photograph of herself on her first day interning for Eleanor she would have sworn she looked something like this.

Sam rolled her eyes but was clearly pleased. "Sandra doesn't think so. I've gotten yelled at once every twenty minutes or so for doing something wrong."

Jenny scoffed. "Please Sandra is twenty times nicer than Laurel ever was. I mean seriously that woman was a raging bitch." She wasn't going to interfere with Sandra's authority, she had every right to berate the interns and honestly they needed it. It put them through the paces of working in fashion, honestly it had done wonders for thickening her own skin. "I remember my first day working. God and my first fashion show but Blair sure did make a mess of that one."

Sam tilted her head upwards. "Blair? Blair was interested in fashion?"

Laugher came from Jenny before she even thought about what she was saying, what she was revealing. "Not in the designing aspect but Blair Waldorf was the most fashionable girl I knew. I'd go so far as to call her a Dictator of Fashion at Constance. Eleanor wouldn't have had it any other way."

"Wait. . ." Sam spoke, confused. "The girl who looks like Anna is Blair Waldorf? Blair's Eleanor's daughter?" That was new, Anna and Cassie hadn't told her that but after this weekend she really shouldn't be surprised that they had secrets from her.

Jenny's eyes widened, shit she'd forgotten that they weren't telling people Blair was dead and Eleanor's daughter was dead, shit shit. But looking at Sam now she didn't seem too thrown. It was Anna who really knew the history of Waldorf Designs not Sam. Maybe they weren't screwed but she certainly wasn't elaborating. "Yeah. Look I should really get back to work myself, I have a few designs that really have to be finished before I start school later this week."

Sam nodded. "Of course and I mean I have to get back to work anyway." She said lifting the hem.

Jenny forced a smile as she nodded and turned. After a few steps she flipped back. "Oh and Sam, mint tea."

Sam looked at her curiously. "Do you want some?"

Jenny shook her head. "No. Soak your fingers in hot mint tea. It does wonders for the pin pricks."

Sam smiled, nodding. "Mint tea. Thanks J."

Jenny simply smiled as she turned and headed back to her office. Sam would be a good intern she knew that, now she just had to worry about whether or not she could keep her mouth shut about Blair. Because it was going to start looking strange if different stories started coming from different people. For the first time since they came to the conclusion that it was better if Anna didn't know that she was the spitting image of a dead girl, she began to second guess their decision. Maybe they should just come clean and tell Anna. It had been a week she might not get too freaked out or it might send her running and honestly if they scared Anna off Chuck would probably kill them all. So for now, the real story would stay under wraps but someday it would all come out and then where would they be?

* * *

Nate smiled brightly as Chuck entered the room. He knew Chuck had been doing some recon work on Scott this evening, he'd met with a few potential leads into other sketchy areas of Scott's past and Nate was seriously looking forward to hearing the results. "Man, I've seen you more in this past week that I have this past year."

Chuck smirked at Nate's light dig knowing that wasn't really what Nate had wanted to say rather he'd settled for that to start the ball rolling on the conversation. He and Nate would always be friends but what had happened the past few years had managed to splinter their relationship. It was going to take serious work to get things back to the way that they use to be. "Get used to it Archibald."

Nate's smile became smaller but perhaps more sincere, less guarded. "I'd like to." He paused, looking towards the one photo he kept of the four of them; he knew Chuck used to have the same one in his room at the Van der Woodsen-Bass apartment. "You know I took a lot of things for granted in high school, our friendship, Blair. . ." He trailed off knowing that what he really wanted to say was his relationship with Blair but he didn't want Chuck going off on him like he had in the past. Even if Chuck was better now, he still wasn't quite the Chuck they all remembered, not yet at least. "I don't want to make that mistake ever again."

Chuck looked at Nate appraisingly, something was different about him; something Chuck couldn't quite put his finger on. That's when he realized it, somewhere over the course of the past two years when the Serena had been dealing with her baby crisis and Chuck had been unsuccessfully mourning the loss of Blair, Nathaniel Archibald had grown up. Without Blair or Chuck there to tell Nate what to think or what to do, Nate had learned how to think and act for himself and it appeared he'd also finally tapped into some of that intelligence they all knew he had in there. "I've missed you too." He spoke, knowing that in the end that's what this really all boiled down to.

Nate just nodded. It appeared as though they'd finally come to an understanding. "So how did the meetings go this afternoon? Find out anything?"

"Nothing useful." Chuck spoke with a shake of his head. "All of it was just more of the same."

Nate groaned. "Why is this guy so airtight? If he was enough of a creep to do what he did to Serena, that certainly can't be the first time he'd done something. Unless he just resented Serena that much."

Chuck shook his head. "I don't know but whatever it is, I'm working on it. We'll find something or we'll create it. He'll pay, I promise you he'll pay."

Nate nodded his head in acceptance. This was Chuck's realm, well his and Blair's, Nate knew better than to interfere. "I'll leave you to that so long as you aren't too distracted?" He added with raised eyebrows.

This time it was Chuck who groaned. "What have you heard?"

Nate chuckled. "I've heard that you've grown absolutely obsessed with the doppelganger."

Chuck glared. "Her name is Annabelle. She's not Blair, she's a completely different person. And I'm not obsessed. You were there the other night, you saw her seduce me."

"Actually I wasn't there but I heard it was hilarious." Nate said reminding Chuck that he had been with his grandfather and Tripp when the girls had come over. "Still Gossip Girl says you spent all day with her on Saturday and then today showed up to help her move in."

Chuck continued glaring, though it was obvious he wasn't really mad at Nate, simply surprised at his digging. "Annabelle and I are just friends . . . for now."

Nate smiled as though he had a secret. "Whatever you say man, I mean, it's probably not the best idea to mess with Diego's girl that kid was always dangerous." Nate spoke referencing the Diego they knew so long ago. "You know it's a wonder he never told Anna she looked like a girl he used to know, I mean it had to be a shock the first time he saw her when he moved down to Texas. Or I mean maybe Anna and Blair didn't look so much alike when they were younger."

Finally Chuck raised up a hand. "Slow down Nathaniel." As Nate finally paused his long winded assessment Chuck lifted both his hands. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Nate looked at Chuck curiously. "Don't tell me you don't remember?" A slow smirk was rising to Nate's face for once it seemed that he knew something that Chuck did not. "Diego knew Blair. I mean I only met him a couple of times myself but Diego already knew Blair when I met him the first time."

Comprehension dawned on Chuck as flashes of memory zoomed into his mind; Blair showing up when Diego was over a couple of times, Diego coming to Chuck's Birthday party, Blair and Nate hanging out with Chuck and Diego, all of it had been so long ago it hadn't even crossed his mind. "Holy fucking shit Nathaniel, Diego and Blair did meet, more than once." He shook his head in awe that Nate of all people would have realized this. "I find it hard to believe that he didn't mistake Anna for Blair when he first got to Texas because looking as much alike as they do now, there's no way they didn't look somewhat alike then."

"Now it's your turn to slow down." Nate said shaking his head. "We don't know what's really going on with Diego. Maybe Blair didn't leave a big impression on him."

Chuck shook his head. "Don't kid yourself, Blair leaves an impression on everyone."

Nate continued to shake his head. "Chuck, slow down. Maybe Diego just forgot her or didn't find it pertinent to say something to her. I mean Diego says they weren't together until this past year, that's a long time to hold onto something."

Now it was Chuck shaking his head. "No I know Diego, Diego knew she looked like Blair, he had to. But he lied to me or if he didn't lie he certainly didn't admit to anything. He's hiding something. Maybe he knows something we don't."

Nate took two steps forward and placed his hands on Chuck's shoulders. "Man you've got to stop this. Blair's dead, you know it, I know it, we all know it. You are the one who's been waxing on for days that Anna and Blair are two different people and you know that. You have to remember that. Whatever Diego's game is that's not it." Nate was worried. He was the one who brought up knowing Diego and now Chuck had that crazy look in his eyes, the same look he used to get every time he asserted that Blair was still alive. But slowly he saw that look begin to fade.

"You're right." Chuck finally said. Realizing just how far he'd let his imagination run. Sighing, he nodded once more. "You're right." He repeated looking into Nate's eyes, so calm, so certain. "But it doesn't change the fact that Diego's hiding something and I'm going to figure out what it is."

Nate exhaled. Chuck on a vendetta was one thing, insane Chuck was a completely different story. He didn't care what Chuck did to Diego as long as he didn't go off the deep end again. Nate would have said more but Serena walked into the room using the key he'd given her a long time ago. While Serena had apologized for the whole Anna thing he knew she still wasn't over it and if she'd witnessed this conversation she'd be even more certain of her original decision. So instead of what he was going to say to Chuck he faced Serena and smiled. "Hey beautiful, what's up?"

Serena smiled as radiant as ever. "I'm actually stopping by to say goodbye. I'm leaving for New Jersey tonight. Move in isn't til tomorrow but I don't want to deal with the am rush hour traffic."

Chuck nodded walking over. "Well I hate to take off but I have business to attend to at Victrola. Have a good semester sis and if you need anything, call."

Serena nodded and smiled. "I'm glad you're back Chuck."

"Me too." He spoke before walking out of the apartment. In truth he didn't have things to attend to but he assumed Nate and Serena had things they would need to talk about, things that Serena didn't know he knew about."

As Chuck left the room Nate turned his attention to Serena. "I didn't realize you were leaving so soon." Even as he spoke he noticed something was up. Serena's movements were strange, almost flittering. He could tell immediately that she was having trouble with her nerves but that didn't make any sense, she was never nervous around him.

Serena nodded, recognizing a strange tension that seemed to be filling the air. "Yeah I have to get back. I may have finished summer school just last week but the new semester starts in a few days."

"Oh." Nate spoke. And to add to the nerves there was something strange about this conversation, something about it felt stilted. "So . . ."

"I love you." Serena spoke, before Nate could say something or she could chicken out. It's what she'd come here to say and she knew that if she waited for polite conversation to finish or for herself to relay the idiotic story she'd come up with for what she was really doing there then she wouldn't say it. Instead she forged onward. "I've always loved you and I wanted you to know that before I leave for school."

Nate was blindsided. Whatever he'd though was coming, this certainly wasn't it. "Serena I . . ."

She saw it in his eyes before he said it. She saw it and hated herself for thinking that things were different, that something had changed from the last time she'd told him. They'd been in Greece, visiting Trinity not long after the Tripp thing. It had been perfect and they'd had this one perfect night only for him to tell her that he wasn't over Blair, he wasn't done grieving. But since then he'd had a string of girlfriends and she'd thought that maybe just maybe he was done now. Maybe he was ready and she couldn't keep pretending she wasn't or that she didn't love him. "Nothing's changed."

"No . . . well yes things have changed. . . I mean everything's changed. Ugh!" Nate groaned in frustration hating that his words weren't coming out right. Honestly he was both glad and disappointed that he wasn't high for this. Had he been the conversation sure would have gone a lot smoother but Serena deserved better than that.

"You know I love you. You know that. But it's never going to work between us." Nate tried to explain. There was too much history, too much water under the bridge. Their relationship would always unravel at the seams. Of course they'd tried it before, they'd tried over and over and over again but they never seemed to make it work on the relationship side of things but friends never seemed enough so they were always left straddling the proverbial line between friendship and more.

Serena shook her head. "You don't know that Nate. We aren't the same people we used to be. We're not the young reckless teenagers who had sex on a bar, we aren't the two idiots who betrayed Blair so many years ago, we've grown up." She referenced that one particular event on purpose because if she knew Nate as well as she thought she did, that was the source of his reluctance. He'd always see them as tortured lovers because of what they did to Blair.

Nate sat down on the chair nearest him and put his head in his hands. "You know that's it. That's always going to be it. Every time I think of being with you I think of her and how stupid we both were. And I'm sorry but I just can't. I can't be in a relationship that's always going to go back to her."

"Nate. . ." Serena started vindicated that she'd been right but heartbroken for the same reason because even if Nate didn't say it what he really meant was that he would always love Blair more in the end, just like Chuck. And something about all of it meant that she lost all of them. Because Nate would never be able to give himself to her. Not really because to him she was the one in competition with Blair for his affection and he couldn't betray that now not with her gone. Suddenly the reverie was lost from her voice. "You know what you are a hypocrite. You couldn't choose Blair over me when she was alive and now that she's dead you can't choose me over her."

"Serena . . ." Nate began before sighing, she had a point and honestly one way or the other she was going to be mad at him, one way or the other he still had to hurt her. This was easier for her to understand, easier and less hurtful. "Maybe you should just go."

Serena shook her head. "Don't worry, I'm gone." And with that she spun around and left the apartment almost as quickly as she came.

Nate simply sat where he was contemplating what had just happened, what had just been revealed because honestly he hadn't expected it and yeah Serena was kind of right but there was so much more she didn't understand. He saw their relationship as part of the past, tied up in betrayal and foolishness and now going back there would just be like taking steps back to who he used to be. Neither of them were good for each other romantically, they never would be and one day she would realize that too.

* * *

Anna lay back on her bed, new school issued laptop in hand. She bit her lip almost nervously as she attempted to navigate the rather complicated school registration site. It had come to her attention that school was about to start and she had yet to glance at her classes since registering at orientation. She hadn't even thought to look to see if one had been canceled or a time change or anything, it was so unlike her when she was normally so careful. But it seemed that this would be fairly indicative about the way she was feeling about school in general. Normally she had everything planned out to the last party favor but right now she had no clue what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. She was thinking majoring in Business but Pre-law was a serious enticement too. And she loved English and French so those were always backups. In short, she had absolutely no idea.

Finally finding the right button she clicked and waited on the screen to load. The internet was normally lightning speed on this campus but this site seemed to take forever. The load button in the center of the screen just kept circling and circling to the point that it was about to drive her crazy. When her schedule finally appeared she sighed in relief; everything was just as she'd left it.

**MWF**  
**9am ENGL 320 - American Literature 1860-1910 - Dodge**  
**10am ECON 101 - Intro to Economics – Butler Hall**  
**11am French 255 - French Literature - Fayerweather**

**TTR**  
**9:30am STOR 155 – Statistics - Avery**  
**11 am PSYCH 101 – Psychology - Kent**

Perfection. Her classes were back to back every day so she didn't waste any time waiting around an hour for another class to start. One English, one French, a science to fulfill her gen eds and then two business pre-requisites. She wasn't thrilled that the English was so high level that it was likely to be mostly upperclassman majors but she was good at literature so it shouldn't be a big deal and the teacher for the class was supposed to be amazing.

One thing about her schedule did make her frown though, classes started on Wednesday which meant she would have her entire first day of classes alone. Not really alone, of course there would be other people in her class but on Tuesday and Thursday she had Statistics with Diego and Psychology with Cassie so it would have been a much easier first day.

As she thought about Cassie, she realized that she hadn't seen her roommate in a long time. After getting home from her day with Diego she'd finished unpacking the small stuff but then she'd gotten a bath and hadn't seen Cassie since. Cassie had left a note about running errands but it had been several hours and she still hadn't heard from her.

Almost on a whim Anna pulled out her phone and sent Sam a message; maybe they'd met up or something. Because this was not like Cassie at all.

* * *

"Coming" Diego called as he wrapped the hotel towel around his waist, emerging quickly from the shower. Damn he was kind of going to miss this place. Tomorrow he'd be sharing not just a shower but a bedroom, things were about to get a lot more crowded in his life. Expecting Anna, he was surprised and had the humility to be slightly embarrassed that it was Cassie who was knocking on his door. "Ramirez? I wasn't expecting you." Diego spoke, subconsciously tightening the towel around his waist.

Cassie took one look at his towel before moving her eyes back to his face, this time with raised eyebrows. "Clearly." She spoke snarkily. "However, I'm here to talk to you about something important.

Diego's entire body tensed as though it was preparing for battle. "Is it Anna? Is she okay?" He asked as a certain insanity filled him, he'd never forgive himself is something happened to her.

Immediately realizing how dangerous the place Diego's mind had just gone was Cassie placed a hand on his arm to still him or slow him down or something. Honestly she didn't really know why she touched him, only that it was instinct. "Anna's fine. I'm here about me."

Diego's look of anxiety morphed into one of confusion. "You're here about you? What's wrong that you need my assistance?" Even if he and Cassie were beginning to come to a certain understanding, they weren't friends by any means. For her to be coming to him it had to be a big deal, quite possibly she was in trouble, a lot of trouble.

Cassie inhaled, she just had to spit this out before she chickened out. She was done waiting on Anna to do this for her, she wasn't close to Diego but she was on firm enough ground that she could ask him this. "I need your help finding someone or maybe, getting ahold of someone is the better way to put it."

"Okay. . ." Diego spoke hesitantly. Cassie was being cagey which was unusual, normally she was incredibly direct, almost to a fault. That she seemed to be talking around something worried him. "I can try but I'm not all that well connected in New York yet. This isn't Texas."

Cassie nodded, a slow serious smile rising to her features. "This is someone you'll know where to find, I promise."

Diego looked at her strangely. It was almost as though she was trying to get him to promise results before he knew who she was looking for. But he needed her help with Anna, especially if Chuck was going to be serious competition for her time and affection. Finally managing to win Cassie over would do wonders for him in Anna's eyes. "I'll do what I can, now who are you looking for?"

Cassie spoke as she exhaled. "Alejandro Gutierrez."

If Diego had any less of a poker face his jaw would be on the floor. What the fuck was Cassie doing looking for his brother? That wasn't just stupid that was dangerous. She shouldn't even know him and a girl like her had no business being involved with a guy like him. "You don't know what you're asking." He warned, his voice low, compelling.

Cassie stood her ground, crossing her arms over her chest. "Believe me I do."

Diego laughed darkly. It wasn't a happy sound at all, it was critical and filled with darkness. "Believe me Cassie, you don't." When it looked like she was about to say more he continued. "Now I'm going to do you a favor and forget this conversation ever happened. You should do the same." Once more it looked as though she had more to say but he wasn't hearing it. "Go home and don't tell Anna you came here asking those kind of questions." With that he shut the door immediately walking to the bed where he laid down. He might have just pissed Cassie off but he was fairly certain that if he got one of her best friends killed that would pretty much ruin any chance he had with Anna and that's exactly what leading Cassie to Alex would be doing, it would be feeding the lamb to the lion and he wouldn't do that, his conscience wouldn't let him.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Reviews as always are appreciated.**

**xoxo  
kate **


	20. Starting To Slip

**Hello everyone:** Once more for those of you that didn't see my last message (check back to the previous chapter for a recap) I've disabled anonymous reviews again due to some rather diligent spamming by one individual. I'm sorry for those anonymous reviewers that do so respectfully but it takes too much energy dealing with immature people who use it to be rude to deal with it. If you have a critique that's great but sign your name to it and stand up for your words or in the end they mean very little.

**On a happier note**: Happy Late Valentine's Day. And once more, to anyone who actually goes to Columbia I'm sorry if I've botched up any details I did try to do research.

**To my reviewers: **annablake, QueenBee10, Lalai, rainbowbutterflie, wrighthangal, Kels, LovelyLydia, Sw33tHeart21, LitPrincess2787, jamieerin, mlouison, ElenaBelle, CarolinaGirl21, **and **SouthernBelle88. **Thanks so much for your support, I greatly appreciate it!**

**Disclaimer:** I own an annoyingly long Corporate Finance book that is calling my name to go study but I do not own Gossip Girl.

Thanks so much to my incredible beta **ggff-fan**. YOU ARE FABULOUS!

* * *

"Man, I'm so not ready for classes to be starting back." Nate said with a shake of his head. "Early mornings, class, coffee, homework, all-nighters, none of it sounds appealing." Dan chuckled over his cup of coffee but Nate glared. "It's not funny and I have a ten am this semester."

At that Dan outright laughed. "Suck it up Archibald. I have a nine today and tomorrow I have an eight and nine-thirty. Besides if you didn't want to get up early you should have scheduled everything in the afternoon."

Nate rolled his eyes, taking another drag of the cup of coffee before him. "I would have but this was the latest econ class offered this semester and grandfather is being insistent that I take it and since he pays for the apartment I kind of don't have a choice."

Dan nodded. "Well not to leave you alone stewing over your coffee but I'm about to be late for my American Literature class and being the first day I don't want to make a bad impression on the teacher."

Shaking his head Nate couldn't help but laugh. "Is this Kyle What's-His-Name? The one you've been raving about since you transferred to Columbia?"

Dan grimaced. "Nate, Kyle Hedlund is one of the most renowned professors of English Literature on the East Coast, probably the country. The fact that he accepted the teaching position here is half the reason I finally decided to transfer . . ."

"Blah, blah, blah, yeah I get it. The guy's a prodigy, born to teach, creates award winning English critics and writers, I know. Now go before you're late and he hates you for your failure to be punctual." Nate said, discretely jabbing at Dan's nervousness.

Dan didn't notice as he nodded seriously before turning to leave. "Have a good first day of class." He called over his shoulder as he rushed out of the café and straight into Dodge Hall. Slipping into the classroom he realized he'd just barely made it before the start of class and it looked as though there were two seats left in the room, one beside a ginger guy who looked like he hadn't showered in a week the other next to a thin blonde. He made his way over quickly and quietly, sliding into the seat next to the blonde thinking as he did that the hair was really more of a honey brown. "Just made it." He spoke softly as the teacher walked into the room. As the girl turned to look at him he held back a gasp.

The girl's head popped up at the sound of the guy now occupying the seat next to hers voice, it sounded familiar. As she met his surprised gaze she smiled. "Dan, right? I think we met briefly at Chuck's."

"Yeah, Dan Humphrey. And you're Annabelle." Dan furrowed his brows, great he was going to be stuck next to the Blair Waldorf look-a-like all semester; everyone knew that in small classes seats never changed after the first day. He should have chosen the smelly ginger rather than deal with what was bound to be a superiority complex with both mommy and daddy issues. "Was that before or after you stuck your tongue down Chuck's throat because honestly I don't remember." He'd spoken harshly to deter her from making any kind of overtures at friendship, he thought it was ridiculous the number of people who were falling over themselves to be friends with her and he for one wasn't joining in. Though at the surprised look on her face he couldn't help but soften the jab a little. "Look the teacher's here, maybe we should pay attention."

Anna looked at Dan strangely. She'd been surprised at his coldness after hearing that he was the nice one but she knew different people reacted to her appearance differently so she would excuse it for now. After all, she hadn't heard much about a friendship between Dan and Blair but she and Cassie were evidence enough that an outside observer no matter how close, couldn't always see where the closest friendships lay. However, the mistake he'd just made about the teacher was strange. "That's not our teacher." She stated curiously.

Dan narrowed his eyes. "He's writing on the board, I'm pretty sure he's our teacher. Why would you think otherwise?" He had not intended to engage in conversation but he couldn't help it. She was already infuriating him.

Anna smirked. "Because Kyle Hedlund is a woman, not a six foot something middle eastern man. That must be the TA."

Dan pulled back surprised, she couldn't possibly be right. There's no way that one of the most brilliant minds of modern English Literature was a woman and he'd never noticed. Just as he was about to correct her, a thirty something woman with long dark blonde hair neatly fashioned and an impeccable skirt suit walked into the room guns blazing.

"Hello class. Yes I am in fact Kyle Hedlund and yes I have a vagina. If you have a problem with that leave now. Each class's reading is to be done BEFORE class. If you come to class unprepared you'll be asked to leave. If you are asked to leave for any reason, don't come back. I can also assure you that I am going to challenge as no other English professor ever has. You will work harder for me than you've ever worked. And you'll get more out of that work than you've ever gotten out of a class. If you have a problem with any of this, there's the door." Looking around the room everyone was quiet, still, staring at Kyle Hedlund in awe. "Last chance." She spoke looking around the room again at the forty two faces. "Okay then, now that that's settled, I wanted to let you know that I'm very excited about this, my first semester at Columbia and have high expectations for my favorite subject, Post-Civil War American Literature. Look to your right and to your left, these are the people you'll be sitting next to for the rest of the semester, I'll pass around a seating chart at the end of class. Now, if you'll withdraw your syllabus we'll get started." Papers were beginning to move all over the room when the professor spoke almost as an afterthought. "And for future reference, you can call me Kyle, or if you're slightly more daring O Captain My Captain."

Dan heard a quiet laugh from the girl next to him and looked over out of habit. From the look on her face it was clear that she'd caught the reference and he simply couldn't withhold his surprise. "You've seen the Dead Poet's Society?"

"Don't look so surprised Humphrey, Dead Poet's Society is one of my favorite movies." Anna said with a small smirk before turning it into a smile. When she spoke her voice was filled with a warmth, honey like her hair. "And for the record Mr. Judgmental, it was after."

Dan tilted his head curiously, feeling strange around the girl who was like Blair but wasn't. "After what?"

Anna smiled again. "We met after I stuck my tongue down Chuck's throat, as you so artfully put it." With that she turned her attention back to the teacher and began to take notes.

Dan simply shook his head feeling jolted. Her personality was like Blair but not. She had the same biting edge and she looked like a fighter; something in her eyes said that she could be cruel if she wanted to, that she could take someone down, she simply didn't want to. She was smart like Blair but he wasn't sure whether or not Blair was as cultured about literature. Well she probably was but Blair usually didn't say more than five words to him at a time. And there it was again, she was like Blair but wasn't. Her voice was like sweet tea, smooth and sugary with the southern accent, not heavy but southern none the less; it sounded more South Carolinian than Texan. And then that smile, that smile that seemed to brighten the entire room, it invited you in, it was unguarded and open as though she had never really been burned before.

And there lay the real difference, the one he had been looking for. The shell that seemed to be built up around Blair, the hard fierce one that said no-one was getting past her defenses wasn't there. The one that Blair built up to hide her vulnerability and her feelings of inadequacy. And all of the sudden he was drawn back to a day when he sat down on the floor of a warehouse building next to Blair, the one time he remembered being on the other side of Blair's walls. There'd been a couple others where she'd allowed him to see through to the other side like when they were plotting against Georgina or when he was helping her confess her love to Chuck but the only time the walls had dropped was the day they'd shared their mommy issues while Serena was off being her ordinary "it girl" self.

Anna was focused on Kyle so he took the opportunity to study her features. She looked like Blair in the face, but the hair was all wrong, sleeker, straighter, and almost blonde. Then there was that scar on her forehead, right at her hairline. The other night he had seen the part that ran slightly onto her forehead a little less than an inch, faint, almost imperceptible, but still there. But today the way she had her hair parted revealed more. The scar extended past what was regularly visible; it seemed to run right along her hairline horizontally for about two inches before disappearing. He wanted to run his finger along it, to trace it, to see how far back it went.

Dan was jostled from his thoughts as the noise and motion around him suddenly grew in intensity. Next to him, Anna was putting away her notebooks but she looked up at him and paused.

"You okay?" Anna asked smiling slightly at Dan. He was sitting there seemingly frozen one hand lifted just off the desk before him and his eyes seemed to be unfocused staring vaguely in her direction.

Dan shook himself slightly, what was he doing, thinking about touching her. "Yeah of course." He spoke immediately, a gut reaction.

Nodding, Anna stood. "Then why're you still staring Humphrey?" With that she turned and walked from the room, her hips swaying as she went.

Dan continued to sit there for a second, seemingly mesmerized. It took him a moment to realize that he was mesmerized by the sway of her hips, something that was so not okay. Looking down he noticed that his hand was lifted slightly as though he'd been about to follow his instinct and brush her scar. This whole situation was anything but alright because he was feeling then what he knew all the others must have felt; there was a pull and he could already tell that it was going to be difficult to resist.

* * *

Anna smiled as she waited for Cassie outside of La Maison Francaise, which the students called Buell Hall or sometimes Bloomingdale's as it was the only building left over from the old Bloomingdale's mental asylum. She was about to go in for French and if she'd calculated correctly Cassie should be coming out. She was taken aback when the first person to exit the Spanish wing was Diego instead. "Hey" She spoke brightly, immediately walking over and enveloping him in a hug.

"Hey yourself." Diego spoke softly into her ear. "I wasn't expecting you."

Anna smiled at the low rumble of his voice as it sent chills down her spine. "You either. I was waiting for Cass."

Diego pulled back, looking down at her with a joking smile. "I see where your priorities lie."

Anna smacked his shoulder lightly. "Oh shut up. You know I'm happy to see you. I was simply unaware of your schedule. Whereas Cassie and I already designated meeting times and places for our day."

Diego rolled his eyes at his neurotically perfect girlfriend but as he did it there was a smile on his face. "Well Cassie is in my class so she should be right out. Whereas I need to run downtown to the Warehouse before my next class."

Anna nodded surprised. Not just that Diego and Cassie would be in the same class when as far as she knew they still weren't fond of each other but that Diego was actually telling her that he was going to the Warehouse. That was kind of big. Deciding to act like it wasn't, she did her best to act normal. "Okay, I'll see you later then." She said before rising up on her toes and giving Diego a soft kiss.

Diego deepened the kiss immediately, unable to get enough of her. Realizing that things were getting a little bit heavy as far as PDA went he was about to pull back when someone else intervened.

"You two don't waste any time do you. I mean I was what, a minute behind you Diego?" Cassie spoke, placing a hand on her hip and looking at the couple with raised eyebrows as they split apart.

Anna looked over guiltily as Cassie began to laugh. Turning her attention back to Diego for a moment she placed a quick kiss on his lips. "Go so that you're not late getting back." Diego nodded and left as she turned back to Cassie whose eyes were a little more judgmental now than they had been with Diego there and it was as though she could hear what Cassie was thinking. Before she could get words out, Cassie dove in.

"You have to tell him how confused you are." Cassie spoke, walking closer to her best friend.

Anna bit her lip and looked out a nearby window where she was fairly certain she could still see Diego walking quickly across campus. "I know." Suddenly she turned back to face Cassie. "But whatever I was thinking the other night was a fluke. I mean seriously, I made my choice a long time ago. I made my choice before I met Chuck and I'm going to keep making that choice every day. Diego deserves that much from me and god Cass I think I'm falling in . . ."

Cassie held up a hand. "Don't. Don't say it. I want you to think very carefully about what you almost said and decide if that's really how you feel before you run around saying it. You know the main reason I didn't like you with Diego?"

"No." Anna responded curiously with a shake of her head.

Cassie smiled. "Because I was sure he only wanted you because he couldn't have you. But now watching the two of you together, I don't know. He's different with you."

Anna smiled. "I always said he was."

"You always did." Cassie responded. "So maybe I can tolerate an entire semester in a class of twenty with him."

Anna struggled not to laugh at the predicament because honestly it was quite funny. "I'm sure you guys will be fine. Besides maybe it will give you the chance to ask more about Alex."

Cassie forced a smile to her face as she nodded. She hadn't told Anna about visiting Diego the other night and she hadn't told her about one little detail she already knew: that Alex was Diego's older brother. What Anna thought, was that when she'd been hanging with one of Diego's cousins someone had mentioned an Alex Gutierrez and she'd tracked him from there. In reality, she'd known from the start that Diego and Alex were related. When she'd first told Alex where she went to school he'd said he had a younger brother down there. It hadn't taken her long to put two and two together. "So how has your day been?" She finally asked to change the subject.

Anna shrugged. "Dan, Jenny's brother and one of Chuck's stepsiblings, is in Am Lit class. He's interesting. He's not like the others but I can't really pinpoint why." Cassie was following so she continued speaking. "Then my econ class was great. It's a huge lecture, almost four hundred but I can tell the teacher is going to be amazing. And now I have French. How about you?"

"Spanish was my fine." Cassie spoke glancing at the clock and realizing they didn't have much time before Anna's class started. "But I've still got my twelve and my one to go. I'm going to go grab some coffee before I make you late for class."

Anna looked up at the clock and her eyes widened she was about to be late. "Um, yeah. I've gotta go."

"Later." Cassie called after Anna's retreating form as she waved to the side. Shaking her head, Cassie turned and left the building. She could see that Anna was getting in over her head with Diego and Chuck, she just wished that Anna herself saw it too because until then she wasn't going to try to fix it.

* * *

Anna sighed as she walked out of her French class. She'd placed out of all the intro French classes but this one was required to be a major or minor and it was going to be a cakewalk. Honestly she could probably take the final now and make a hundred. Half the kids in the class sounded as though they had maybe three years of French before now and she was probably a better speaker than the teacher. Not that that was really her doing, she'd been fluent from the time she woke up from the coma. Either way though she knew it was going to be a long semester.

Walking out the back door of Buell towards her dorm she stopped in surprise just as she passed Kent. Chuck was standing not ten feet in front of her, leaning back against a limo as he talked on the phone. Within seconds his eyes locked with hers, a look of surprise overcoming him as well. Quickly ending his phone conversation he pushed off the limo and started walking towards her. "Annabelle, what a pleasant surprise."

Anna couldn't help but notice the smile that lit Chuck's face as he made his way to her. At the same time she couldn't resist throwing in a snarky comment. "You know, history would say you were following me, but by the look on your face I'd guess otherwise."

"Not this time." Chuck said with another slow smile. "I was dropping off Nathaniel. He'd left something at his apartment and I was on my way back from a meeting so I gave him a lift."

Anna nodded, she'd heard of Nathaniel a couple times here and there, though he was one of the few friends she wasn't aware of meeting. "I see."

Chuck didn't really know what to do as they entered a strange silence. He didn't want to leave, in truth he wanted to reach out and brush the piece of hair that had blown in her face out of the way. Instead he spoke. "What are you doing right now?"

Anna shrugged, smiling suspiciously. "Nothing, I'm done with class for today. What do you have in mind?"

"Do you want to go to lunch? I mean unless you have plans with someone else later?" Chuck spoke, trying to keep the hope from showing in his voice.

Anna smiled. "No plans and lunch would be great."

Chuck's smile extended over his face. He shouldn't be this happy just to spend time with her but God damn it he was. Turning towards the limo he opened the door gesturing for her to enter. "Is there anywhere particular you'd like to go?"

Anna looked at him, her eyes full of a challenge. "I want you to pick somewhere you'd think I'd like."

"Is this a test?" Chuck asked, suspicious of the way she phrased her words.

Anna smirked. "You bet it is."

Chuck laughed. "You shouldn't have told me that." Then to the driver he spoke. "45th Street between 5th and 6th." Before turning his attention back to Anna.

"Why not?" Anna asked curious. She'd thought a test would make him anxious or something. Anything to throw him off his game, but of course things weren't like that with Chuck Bass.

Leaning close he spoke softly. "Because I'm quite competitive. You might as well have requested for me to blow you away."

Anna smirked again as she shook her head, moving closer as well. "Bring it on Bass."

Chuck smirked leaning back in his seat. Sometimes it surprised him the way she reminded him of Blair other times it surprised him when she didn't. For instance, Blair would have known better than to challenge him. Annabelle was so innocent sometimes. That was okay, it was endearing even which was strange when on all previous accounts he hated the innocent ones, they were so hard to get rid of afterwards but he didn't want to get rid of Annabelle. So he'd take her to lunch or rather brunch at Gaby - the restaurant at the Sofitel Hotel in Midtown. And she was going to be knocked off her feet because the food there was really that good.

An hour or so later Anna found herself shaking her head as she finished off her mimosa. "Honestly Bass I'm going to have to stop underestimating you."

Smiling, Chuck looked at her empty plate. She'd insisted he order for her too, not even picking up the menu and it appeared as though the Eggs Florentine had been to her liking. "Yes you are." He spoke, a double meaning to his words because there were other ways she didn't even realize she was underestimating him as he had every intention of making this lunch date a regular thing and slowly but surely he would gain ground until she was his.

"I should get back though." She spoke almost reluctantly. She'd never dreamed she'd have so much to talk to him about, it was as though they never ran out of words. It wasn't stressed or forced, everything was simple and perfect and completely electric. The only thing that had momentarily broken their intense conversation was her hunger and the deliciousness of their food. "Cassie will be back from class soon and she'll get worried if I'm not there."

Chuck shrugged, trying once more not to show how hopeful he was; knowing he was failing. "So text her."

Anna closed her eyes tightly. "Chuck . . ." When she spoke her voice was pleading with him to understand. "I can't."

Gesturing for the waitress, he worked to hide his disappointment. Paying the waitress he stood. "Then let's get you back." He spoke gently.

Looking up at Chuck, Anna smiled. "Thank you." It was clear to her that Chuck had a true understanding of her feelings, he got her. And with that he seemed to understand that she had to leave.

Chuck gave a single nod of his head as he walked with her out to the car. He wouldn't push her for more time. After all, he had all the time in the world.

* * *

Looking down at his watch, Dan sighed. Nate was late as per usual. They had a class in five minutes and of course Nate was nowhere to be found. If Dan was honest with himself, he didn't even know why he was taking the class to begin with. It was a bullshit class that didn't fulfill a single requirement. Nate wanted to take it for a guaranteed A and somehow he'd managed to talk Dan into it.

Almost as if he'd conjured him, Nate appeared grinning. "You ready to learn about Stagecraft?" He asked as he wiggled his eyebrows.

Dan groaned, seriously Nate was one of the biggest slackers he knew but generally when it came to Columbia he took things seriously. Taking this class was almost out of character, even for him. "Let's just get this over with."

Nate laughed. "Come on man, get excited! We get to learn the difference between a proscenium and a thrust!" That was at least what it said in the class description.

Dan couldn't help but roll his eyes. "You do realize that that's referring to the shape of the stage right?"

Nate shrugged as he spoke rather suggestively. "I don't really care what it's about because either way there's going to incredible that's what she said jokes every time the teacher says thrust."

Finally cracking a smile Dan just shook his head. "Alright, alright, you've got a point."

Nate simply smiled as they made their way through the drama building and into the theatre hall where their class was held. "So was that English class as great as you thought it would be. I mean was that guy seriously a good enough teacher to make a nine am worth it."

Dan was surprised and simply spoke without thinking. "The English class was . . . weird. I don't really know how to explain it I mean it was definitely surprising." Nate actually appeared interested so Dan continued rambling. "Kyle Hedlund turned out to be a woman . . . a hot one at that." Nate's eyebrows rose but Dan kept speaking. "And that wasn't even the strangest thing. My seat's next to Annabelle, that girl who . . ."

"I know who she is." Nate interrupted, glancing away. It had been his choice not to interact with the girl and he had every intention to keep it that way. He wasn't going to be like Serena and condemn everyone else for doing it but he wasn't going to do it himself. He could tell by the look in Dan's eyes that he'd made a different decision.

Looking at Nate, Dan could see that his friend was doing his best to withhold any judgment, and was actually succeeding but he simply couldn't do the same. "I was with you on this. Until today I was with you. I thought they were being idiots, all of them, even though I didn't say it. But now . . . ugh I don't know. I mean she's different than you'd expect, she broke through my judgment and earned my respect within the first five minutes and there's just something that pulls you in, something that hooks you. I wasn't even that close to Blair but I still feel it."

"She's not Blair." Nate spoke definitively through gritted teeth.

Dan nodded and spoke with almost a pleading tone. "Trust me I know that. The differences are somewhat glaring at times but something's there man, something."

Dan was rambling on sounding just like Chuck and Eric and even Jenny and honestly it kind of scared him. If Dan had this kind of reaction, he couldn't help but be terrified about what his own reaction would be if avoiding her all together stopped working out for him. He didn't want to replace the Blair he remembered, not in his head and certainly not in his heart. And what if he liked the new girl better, then what? Was it just out with the old and in with the new? No, he wouldn't, he couldn't ruin Blair's memory like that. "Doesn't matter." Nate spoke softly before turning his attention towards the front, relieved that the teacher had walked in and he had an excuse to end the conversation because if he was honest, it did matter and that's what scared the hell out of him.

* * *

"So how's your first day of class going?" Anna asked brightly as she took a seat next to Sam on the steps of the Met. As promised, she and Cassie were meeting their friend for lunch; unfortunately they were only going to be able to do it on Tuesdays and Thursdays because of their class schedules but they figured something was better than nothing. She'd already finished her classes for the day while Cassie was on break between her 12 and 2 and Sam was on her lunch break.

Sam sighed. "Well it's not as interesting as working at Waldorf's, that's for sure. I mean, sure it's cool to be the only girl in a classroom of boys but the girls are actually pretty catty about it." Gesturing with her hand to a group of girls not sitting far away; a group who was currently shooting glances at them from a few steps below. "That's the Queen Bee down there. Cadence Schuler, a junior crowned by Jenny herself last year at a graduation party from what I've heard. She doesn't like me if you can't tell."

"I'm sure that's not the case." Cassie spoke with a shake of her head. With Lina absent she felt it was her duty to make the best of the situation and honestly she wanted Sam to like school because she was still siding with Sam's parents, college was the best path for Sam; fashion was a hobby not a career. Though even as she spoke Cassie noted a rather menacing look on the girls face as she turned and stood.

Anna got a strange sense of foreboding as she watched the high schooler make her way towards them. "You're not supposed to sit higher than the Queen." She spoke her voice low.

"What?" Sam and Cassie said in unison as their heads snapped toward Anna.

Anna furrowed her brows in confusion, surprised at her own words but certain of them none-the-less. "You aren't supposed to sit higher up on the steps than the reigning Constance Queen, it shows insubordination and isn't tolerated."

Now the looks both Cassie and Sam were shooting her had reached an all time level of shock; they had no idea what Anna was spouting off about but could tell that she was looking panicked as the other girl reached them, cup of yogurt in hand.

"What do you think you're doing?" Cadence spat as she fiddled with the spoon in her yogurt. Her hands might have been fidgeting but her glare was withering.

Sam met her glaze fearlessly. "Are you blind or just stupid? We're eating lunch."

Cadence shook her head. "Samantha right?" She questioned without actually waiting for an answer. "You know I was going to give you a free pass and let you off with a warning because you're new but right now I'm thinking not so much."

"A warning?" Sam asked with raised eyebrows as Cassie and Anna sat mum; it wasn't their place to get involved in high school arguments.

Cadence looked down at Sam with what was probably an attempt at a smirk. "Yes, a warning you piece of Texas trash. No one sits higher than me on the steps." Sam and Cassie's heads snapped towards Anna once more but were drawn back to Cadence as the young blonde kept talking. "Your ignorance would have granted you a pass but your impertinence lost that. Now you have to be punished."

"Punished?" Sam scoffed with lowered eyebrows. "You're delusional if you think you can actually dole out punishment. I'm not one of your subjects you idiot."

Anna listened to Sam wondering if the fiery red head had any idea what she was getting herself into; however, her eyes didn't leave Cadence as she was watching the other girl carefully. That's why she caught the hand stilling on the spoon of the yogurt as the girl began to lift the cup. Before Anna knew what she was doing she'd jumped up, snatching the cup of yogurt from the girl's hand just in time.

Cadence jerked back, stepping down a step in shock. "BLAIR?" She screeched a hand going to her heart. She hadn't seen the former Queen in years but she'd spent the majority of her middle school career both worshipping and fearing the girl. What on earth was she doing back in town and at Constance?

"Not Blair . . . Anna" She spoke as though she were talking to a two you old, which honestly this girl seemed to have the mental capacity of. "God don't you read Gossip Girl you little twit."

The girl's eyes darted amongst the group of girls. How had she not taken an assessment of her surroundings or done better background work on Sam before engaging? Now it was painfully obvious just who the girls around her were. "Then you're the Sam from the posts and then you're probably Cassie . . . I just wasn't thinking."

"Assuming you have the capacity for that much thought." Anna snapped, surprising her friends behind her. "Now I'd advice you reevaluating just who was disrespecting who in this situation. From the last name I'm guessing you're dad is what, a Congressman?" With a slight nod from the now terrified girl Anna continued, scoffing. "Not even a Senator." She said under her breath before making her point. "Samantha's family is in oil and don't think that makes her new money because she's no more new money than the Rockefellers and Vanderbilts. And after landing the most sought after fashion internship around with Jenny Humphrey at Waldorf Designs, I think the seating arrangements are just how they should be. Don't you?" She couldn't resist throwing in Jenny's name after hearing that she was the girl's predecessor, at the very least the girl would hold respect for the name from the looks of it she was also quite terrified, from what part of her spill she didn't know. Turning towards Sam she handed her the yogurt. "I think you know what to do with this."

Sam smirked as she stood (against Cassie's best attempts at stopping her) and stepped down a step to come face to face with Cadence who found herself trapped as her own minions had encircled her through the course of the argument. Seeing that Cadence had no way of escaping, Sam lifted the yogurt and poured, dumping it all over the Queen Bee's head. Once the container was empty she spoke, her voice level as though she were bored. "If you're done now, I'd like to get back to my lunch. By the way, sorry I accidently spilled yours." Sam said before turning away from the girl to return to her seat.

Cadence forced her way through the crowd amid sniggers and laughter, screaming as she tried to escape her subjects. She'd never been so embarrassed in her life and by a new girl at that. Before she'd even reached the school she'd realized that her subjects were all too eager to see her fall, this would probably be the end of her reign before she'd even begun.

As Anna watched she couldn't help but smile as though she was revisiting an old memory. She supposed she was just happy that she'd been able to help Sam stand up for herself but either way it had probably just made her day.

**Gossip Girl here and oh my did the new girls leave a mark on Constance. From my reports it seems as though A assisted in a marvelous take down of resident Constance Queen Cadence, or from the looks of it former Queen as shouts of long live Queen Sam could be heard from a block away. Cadence was only around long enough to have her head chopped off, metaphorically speaking of course. I didn't see it live but this streaming video is certainly reminiscent of a certain other former Queen at her best. All I can say is Viva la revolución! **

After pausing in the hallway of the disgusting campus dorm to watch the video of Anna's take down for probably the twentieth time in the last few hours, Chuck tucked away his phone. He had business to attend to but honestly he just couldn't get over the glory of that video and the majesty of it was that Anna would have had to been running completely on instincts. The viral copy started from around the time the words "Texas trash" were uttered and nothing, absolutely nothing should have really tipped Anna off about the yogurt and then she nailed the other girl, slinging insults as though she could see inside the girl's head to her insecurities. Not that Chuck condoned revisiting high school drama after graduation but the fact that she'd been defending a friend made it all understandable, and he couldn't help but glow with pride.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts and get ready for the coming confrontation, Chuck came to a stop in front of a particular door on the hallway of singles, knocking brashly before he lost the nerve.

"Chuck? What the hell are you doing here man?" Diego asked as he answered the door. He couldn't stop the nerves that rushed through his body. Chuck might be one of his oldest friends but right now they were dancing a dangerous tango.

Chuck withheld a sneer as he crossed his arms. "I just have a few questions for you. That's not a problem is it?" His voice making it clear that it better not be.

Diego shook his head. "'Course not. Do you want to come inside?" He asked gesturing behind him to his already slightly disheveled dorm room.

Chuck shook his head. "Not necessary. This shouldn't take long." He could see the apprehension rising on Diego's face and had to withhold a smirk because truthfully it was just confirmation that he'd been right, Diego was hiding something. Continuing on Chuck took a light front offering Diego a way out or at very least a chance to stumble. "How long did you say you've known Anna?"

"I don't know man, seven years." Diego spoke, forcing steadiness into his voice. He was Diego Gutierrez. He would not be intimidated by Chuck Bass. "Why?" He added, infusing impertinence into the word.

Chuck lifted his eyebrows a bit of the smirk sneaking through in an almost terrifying fashion. He disregarded Diego's question of why. "So right after you moved to Texas then?" He asked.

Diego nodded, feeling his heart pounding in his ears. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. Kept running through his head like a chorus because Chuck had realized something and whatever it was, wasn't good for him. "Yeah." He spoke keeping it brief.

"And you never thought she looked like anyone?" Chuck asked his voice dangerously low. "And before you answer that you should know that I remember quite well that you met Blair, that you knew her before you left for Texas. After all, I introduced you."

Diego exhaled. The time he'd been dreading had come, thank god it was one of the few scenarios he actually felt prepared for. He relaxed what he hoped looked to Chuck like he was giving in. Now was the time to see just how good of a liar he was. "Yeah I remember Blair and before you ask another one of your leading questions yeah they always looked that much alike. For God's sakes the first time I saw her I thought she was Blair. Lucky for me I found out otherwise before I made an ass of myself." He spoke lightly with a faint eye roll. Stopping Chuck from speaking and ruining what he had organized to say with some kind of surprise question Diego continued. "Dude honestly I thought I was a little crazy thinking she looked like Blair. I told her once she looked like a girl I used to know but that's the closest I came to mentioning it; I mean I met Blair a couple times but Anna was actually a part of my life. I had convinced myself I wasn't thinking straight. Then we got here and all of you guys with your stories of a missing Blair, a dead Blair and no one wanted Anna to know and I don't know I guess I got protective. I kept her away from you guys as best I could. I mean announcing to my girlfriend that all her new friends only liked her because they thought she looked like a dead girl that I happened to have had pre-pubescent fantasies about wasn't exactly my idea of foreplay." Diego sighed, taking in Chuck's stony face, unable to tell whether or not he'd been believed. With the next part he lowered his voice. "And man when I realized that you guys were grieving I really didn't want her around. I didn't want to bring the kind of pain that comes with being forced to see someone that looks like a dead loved one on anybody. Just because I deal with it everyday with my brother Alex, who's the spitting image of my father at thirty doesn't mean anyone else should have to."

Chuck stood there for a moment. He didn't want to believe Diego but his explanations made too much sense not to. Chuck was reduced to a simple biting question. "Why didn't you come clean about this stuff earlier, I mean if you knew how much she looked like Blair you shouldn't have concealed so much, acting so shocked every time someone 'recognized her'."

Diego shook his head. "I told you man, I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to put you guys in worse shape than you already were. You lost someone you cared about I didn't want to fuck with that."

Taking a step back Chuck nodded slightly. He was preparing to leave it where it was but found he couldn't as words slipped from his mouth. "Not cared about - loved. I loved her and I always will." Chuck spoke before turning quietly and walking away.

Diego couldn't stop the chills that ran down his spine. He'd already figured that much himself but to hear Chuck say it was frightening. He was starting to slip, getting in over his head and if he didn't figure a way out soon, he was going to drown.

**

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this installment. Hopefully I'll get one more posted before spring break. **

**Please REVIEW and let me know what you think!**

**xoxo  
kate**


	21. Here's Lookin' At You Kid

**For anyone interested the poll concerning this fanfic is still open on my profile and I've definitely been using it to guide my writing so if you have an opinion please let me know. I've discarded entire plot lines and embellished others based solely on that poll. **

**Just a quick note with this chapter: some time has passed. Not a lot just a few weeks mid to late September. Enjoy!**

To my reviewers: **LovelyLydia, wrighthangal, AquarianAir, CarolinaGirl21, QueenBee10, ggloverxx19, ElenaBelle, HarryPotterfanforever123, jamieerin, and kt_xoxo. **Thanks for the support, you guys are amazing.

Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.**

Thanks as always to my amazing beta **Ingrid (ggff-fan)** I don't know what I'd do without you.

* * *

Anna quickened her steps as she walked across campus, glad that she'd had the foresight to grab a jacket on the way out. She'd mildly overslept this morning, nothing extreme but she'd been up late working on webassign for econ and slept through her first alarm. Unfortunately that meant that she'd only had time for a quick shower and no time to straighten her hair, forcing her to wear it curly.

She knew she was going to be late if she didn't start running or something and Kyle would not be happy. Glancing at her watch, Anna realized she only had five minutes left and picked up the pace; not running because really as much as she enjoyed running normally, it was never a good idea for her in heels, choosing instead to walk briskly.

Approaching Dodge, she rushed up the front stairs and inside just as the clock on the bell tower began to ring. Quickly making her way to the classroom she did her best to catch her breath, something that rather infuriated her as she couldn't remember the last time a brisk walk had even made her break a sweat. Her newfound state of out of shapeness was at the forefront of her mind as she saw the sign on the door. "No fucking way." She groaned as she read the words.

**9:00am ENGL 320 CANCLED 9/17  
Next time check your email**

"You too huh?" Dan asked from where he was sitting on a bench against the wall. He'd read the sign a few minutes ago but didn't want to go back to the apartment this morning so was pretty much just hanging around.

Anna looked over and glared. "I woke up late, didn't have time to dry my hair, and practically ran here; only to find that class was canceled."

Dan lifted an eyebrow curiously, his voice skeptical. "You ran here?" Even as he asked he couldn't help but take in her appearance. Her hair worked curly but maybe that's because he was so used to Blair's that way. His eyes widened as he took in Anna's appearance, what he guessed were stylish red shoes, black tights, high-waisted red pencil skirt, a white patterned blouse tucked in and a black jacket that she was currently slinging off. Pair that with her hair which had grown in length and darkened away from the Texas sun, highlights barely visible, hair that was currently curled with a perfect red headband placed in the center.

Anna sighed lightly. "Well no. . .not exactly. But I might as well have." As she answered, Anna noticed the way Dan was looking at her, eyes glazed, mouth slightly open. She'd seen the look before on other faces and was beginning to know it quite well - he was looking at her as though she were Blair. Chuck was the most frequent but he also hid it the best. With Eric it had never occurred quite so much, he was careful about that though and then Jenny never tried to hide it at all often resulting in the blonde shaking her head and laughing; but over the past few weeks she'd never once noticed it from Dan other than the very first day of class. She was growing to hate that look.

Dan chuckled. "I didn't think you ran anywhere."

Instantly, Anna's eyes narrowed. "When I became cheerleading captain I instituted a mile run at the start of every practice. I actually enjoy running. I find it clears my head."

"It's just that I assumed-"

"You assumed that because Blair didn't run, neither did I." Anna snapped. Dan looked taken aback and Anna instantly regretted her rash actions. Rarely if ever did she allow herself to lose control, it had just been a long morning. "You don't usually look at me like that, it freaked me out."

Dan's face clouded over with an unknown emotion as he stood, speaking softly. "How was I looking at you?" He asked but he already knew what she meant, he was wearing the are you sure you aren't Blair Waldorf look, it was the only explanation for her reaction.

Anna looked away, she was starting to fall apart, she could feel it. Just like she knew the real reason she'd overslept was that the dreams had come back with a vengeance last night, it hadn't mattered that Cassie was in the room, nothing had mattered, and when she'd woken up she was gasping for air, coughing as though she'd almost drowned. She couldn't answer his question, not right now. "What are you still doing here anyway?"

Dan's brows furrowed and his gut twisted. He could look at Anna and see that something was wrong, something was hurting her and the fact that something was hurting her made him ache, a sensation that he knew he shouldn't be feeling. "Well I didn't want to go home, Jenny's turned the place upside down getting ready for fashion week, that's why I didn't check my email before leaving, I just wanted out of there." Dan paused for a minute slightly embarrassed. "And I was hoping that maybe you hadn't seen the email and I could convince you to go get coffee with me. I wasn't trying to upset you." With his last words, Dan reached out and took her hand in his. He'd done it as a soothing gesture but now as he touched her he realized he meant it as more.

Anna looked down at her hand which was now resting in Dan's then looked back up at him and saw something very different in his eyes, hope. Oh shit, this was so not okay. Slowly, gently, she withdrew her hand from his. "Dan, we can get coffee, but only as friends. I'm already in over my head with Diego and Chuck and you are such a good guy but what I really need right now is a friend." Sure she was being presumptuous but sometimes there are things you just know and this she'd seen enough to know, Dan was slowly but surely falling for her and she could stop it if she did it right now.

He hadn't realized what he was asking, hadn't realized what he had wanted until he felt the disappointment. So Dan stood there for a moment, examining what he was feeling. He'd developed a crush on Anna, an unintentional, innocent crush, but a crush none-the-less. Looking back up at her a small smile rose to his face and he nodded. "Coffee, as friends. I'm okay with that." And as he spoke the words he realized he was.

"Nothing more." Anna reminded, wary of dragging yet another innocent guy into her issues.

Dan nodded. "Nothing more. You said you needed a friend and I'm a very good friend." As he spoke he realized that it was quite true. He could care for her as a friend and be okay with that. A crush was a crush, he wasn't like Chuck, he wouldn't cross that line.

Anna smiled brightly. "All right then, lets go get coffee and we can both bitch about how the people in our lives have gone crazy over fashion week."

* * *

Cassie tapped her pencil lightly on the desk waiting on the rest of the class to finish the assignment. It had been yet another partner exercise and she and Diego had learned quite quickly that if they sucked up their feelings of distaste concerning one another and worked together that they finished in less than half the time it took the rest of the class. And all the while she was staring at Diego as though she were hypnotized.

"Could you stop that?" Diego hissed at Cassie as she repeatedly tapped her damned pencil. She knew it drove him crazy, yet she continued to do it, add that to the fact that her eyes were boring into the side of his skull and he was becoming seriously annoyed. "And why the fuck are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm not looking at you." She said innocently, slightly smirking. As she continued a look of disdain flitting across her features. "Anyway, since when do you talk to me in English?" She responded referencing the fact that over the past month Diego had not spoken more than two words to her outside of Anna's company that weren't in Spanish and honestly he only did that when he had to for class. He was avoiding the potential for her asking more questions, so in turn she'd taken up pestering him.

Diego's eyes narrowed. "I'd talk to you in English if you'd stop asking me questions I've already answered."

"You haven't answered anything." She hissed leaning forward. "Just tell me what I want to know Diego."

Forcing his face to remain hard Diego leaned forward, his voice low. "I told you before Cassie, you don't know what you're asking of me."

She met his eyes directly, zeroing in. "I know more about Alex than you ever will Shadow." She noted the way Diego drew back, his eyes alight with a fire she'd never seen before but she forged onward. "What I'm asking is for you to tell me where he is, nothing more. I'm not even asking you to contact him for me. Just give me an address, a phone number, anything."

She was damn lucky he hadn't reacted more strongly than he had. She'd called him Shadow. It wasn't Anna who'd told her either; Anna only ever called him Angel, never Shadow. Which meant someone else had told her, someone inside. It could have been one of his cousins, one of them did date Cassie for a while, he could have told her trying to impress her but something in his gut told him otherwise. "I refuse to endanger your life by exposing you to him." Diego said, hedging his bets that Cassie wasn't lying saying she knew as much as she did. Something about the way her gaze was meeting his made him believe her and the growing pain in his stomach agreed.

"I'm not dropping this Diego." Cassie spoke, knowing that she was lucky that he hadn't responded any more than he had to her blatant disrespect by using what Alex had told her long ago was his moniker.

Diego squeezed his eyes tightly closed before wearily opening them. "Why do you want to find him? How could you possibly want to find a monster like him."

Cassie pursed her lips. He'd asked the one question that she had yet to resolve what her answer would be. Anna of course knew why she was looking for Alex but no one else and she wasn't sure how she felt about Diego becoming informed of her past. "Your brother isn't a monster." She practically whispered, her voice betraying more emotion than she wished. "He wouldn't hurt or endanger me anymore than you would hurt or endanger Anna."

"You don't understand Cassie, my brother and I are different people." Diego found himself pleading with her. He didn't know how she'd become involved with Alex or when but he knew now that she had and now she was looking for him. She loved him, but she was delusional if she thought that Alex loved her back. Alex wasn't capable of love.

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Really? Because both of you are involved in the exact same shit. So please tell me, what's the difference?"

Diego's voice remained soft and low but he knew that what it contained now was nothing near kindness or compassion. An angry fire was rushing through his veins and if Cassie wasn't a girl he would be scared for her because of what he would have done. "That's the last time you ever compare me to him, is that clear?"

"Crystal." Cassie spoke, hiding the slight twinge of fear she felt at Diego's reaction. She'd always thought Diego was dangerous, but he'd always backed that up himself, telling Anna that he was too bad for her. This was the first time she'd witnessed something she considered truly dangerous from him, what she couldn't comprehend was that the thing that had brought out this side of him was talk of his brother. It was clear that he had a deep seeded hatred for Alex, over what she didn't know but it was obvious that his hatred was clouding his judgment.

Diego exhaled through his nose, flaring his nostrils. "You're not giving this up are you?"

Cassie shook her head. "Nope. I will find him, with or without your help."

Locking his jaw, Diego grimaced. "I won't help you, but I won't stand in your way."

Cassie tilted her head slightly, confused. "What do you mean?"

Furrowing his brows, Diego sighed. "You're on the right track. My brother is in New York. And if you want to look for him I won't stop you, I won't lie to you about him not being here, I won't send you on a wild goose chase, and when you start getting close I won't make sure you fail. But be advised that I think you are making the worst mistake of your life."

"Thank you." Cassie spoke sincerely. Relieved to know that she wasn't grasping straws, she finally had something concrete. At the same time, Diego's abject distress over the idea of her hunting down Alex made her somewhat uneasy. When she'd decided the conversation was over, she turned to face the front of the room where it appeared that the teacher might have been about to continue. She was focusing so hard on the Argentinian professor that she almost didn't hear Diego next to her.

"For the record, the difference between me and Alex is that I have a soul, he does not, not anymore." Diego spoke so lowly he almost didn't hear himself. He didn't know whether or not Cassie had heard him but it didn't really matter; he hadn't said it for her, he'd said it for himself.

* * *

"Not again." Anna groaned looking down at her watch. She was seriously having a problem with punctuality this morning. When Dan had wanted to go to his favorite coffee shop, she'd complied thinking it would be fun. She should have nipped it in the bud insisting that they go somewhere closer, after all she had a ten o'clock but no she'd gone along with it and now she was late for econ.

Rushing out of her cab she ran up the stairs of Butler Hall, not looking forward to walking into an almost four hundred person class, almost five minutes late. Not to mention the professor already knew who she was since she'd made multiple trips to office hours already. She could feel her hand shaking around her coffee as she tried to push the door open inconspicuously.

"Ahh Ms. Carmichael-Getty, so nice of you to grace us with your presence." Mr. Sullivan spoke crossing his arms. "Please come on down to your usual seat." Anna forced her steps to be even and calm as she began to walk forwards. Her usual seat was in the third row, which meant she would be walking down through the lecture hall past the entire classroom. "While you are making your way down here, why don't you tell us why exactly you were late to class this lovely morning."

Anna felt the adrenaline begin to rush through her. Usually so mild mannered this was one of those times that something seemed to take control of her. She could only believe that it came from her old personality, the one she couldn't remember. And like the way she'd snatched the cup of yogurt from the girl bullying Sam she felt her mouth talking without her consent. "The coffee shop messed up my order and I thought I lost my phone. Then it took forever to get a cab." She supplied, doing her best to feign nonchalance; only it didn't really feel as though she were faking it, it felt natural.

The professor tilted his head curiously. "Really Ms. Carmichael-Getty? I was under the impression that you were living in the dormitory right next to this building." He spoke knowing he was right since she'd told him as much herself.

"I wasn't home." Anna spoke, making her way down the lecture hall steps.

Nate was sitting around the middle of econ, further up than he would liked, zoning out as per usual when he heard her voice. The southern drawl was deceptive and the main reason she had not immediately garnered his attention but her words were so familiar that she could have been reading from a script.

_"Everything alright Mr. Archibald." The man spoke as he fixed his suit. _

_Nate straightened up. "Yes everything's fine. It's just my date, she's never late and she likes to have final approval."_

_As Nate spoke Blair rushed into the room, coffee in hand, wearing an uncharacteristically casual outfit, it was one of the few times Nate had ever seen her in jeans. "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry." She spoke as she passed him, barely glancing at him as she made her way to the window. "My cappuccino was decaf and I couldn't find my phone. It took forever to get a cab." She finished, sitting down on the window seal and turning her attention to the phone that was buzzing almost constantly in her delicate hands. _

_"But you live up the street." Nate spoke, fixing his cuff links as he smiled at her in confusion. _

_"I wasn't home." Blair said, her phone going off again.  
_

_Nate looked away, he was doing everything right and she simply wasn't impressed with any of it. For goodness sakes his suit was going to match her dress perfectly and she hadn't even mentioned it. "Well everything's taken care of. I'll pick you up at five in the car. I got that Laurent-Perrier you like." He paused smiling over at her only to see that she wasn't even looking at him, her phone held all of her attention. He was going to have to work harder. "I also thought we'd stop by the Modern afterwards for desert, cause that's your favorite." She wasn't responding, wasn't even looking at him so he'd raised his voice to catch her attention. "Blair." _

_"Oh. Um we don't have to go anywhere afterwards it's fine." She spoke, scooting off the ledge, dropping her phone which was still going off at an almost constant rate. _

_Nate bent forwards and picked it up, handing it back to her. "Sorry, uh." But his thought was interrupt as the phone went off once more. "Who's texting you so much." _

_Blair had frozen for only a moment, not willing to reveal that it was Chuck to Nate. "Serena." She supplied. "I gotta go back to my house. My mom's supposed to throw this tea for Serena's grandmother, she had to jet to Paris at the last minute so it's all on me." She spoke, walking around him. _

_"Okay, I'll stop by and help you out." Nate said remembering the way Blair used to want to involve him in all her party planning and he'd been reluctant. Now that he wanted her back it would be the easiest way in. _

_Blair shrugged him off. "It's alright, I've got it. Thanks." _

_Nate lifted his shoulders confused. Blair was punctual, snappily dressed, completely neurotic, rarely attached to her cell phone, never this relaxed, and always wanted his help, the girl in front of him wasn't any of these things and it was beyond strange. "Who are you and what have you done with Blair Waldorf?"_

_Blair froze in front of him realizing that her new glow might have been a little too much for Nate. She needed to tone it down a little or he would suspect something was up. Blair sighed taken in his appearance for the first time. "Not bad Archibald, I almost forgot how handsome you are." _

_As Nate watched her walk away all he could think was that breaking up with him might have been the best thing Blair had ever done for herself as she seemed to have become a much different, much happier person in the few months apart and he wanted this newer happier Blair more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life. _

That's why his head had snapped towards the aisle where she happened to be standing not two feet away from him, making her way towards the front of the room. He knew who she was instantly but the resemblance was more than he could handle as he felt his entire body going slack. Even still he couldn't take his eyes off her form, it was everything from her walk, to her words, to what she was wearing, everything.

"Are you okay?" The girl next to him asked, noticing that not only had the incredibly good looking guy next to her slumped downward in his seat he seemed to be breaking a sweat.

Nate didn't even look at the person next to him as he couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away. "Yeah I'm fine." He spoke, keeping his gaze firmly placed on Anna as she took her seat in front of the professor. Class continued on but still he couldn't stop looking, couldn't stop thinking about her, about Blair. He'd promised himself he wouldn't talk to the girl, the imposter. He'd struggled not to berate the others for getting involved with her. But now when he'd seen it for himself, it was like a drug. Dan's words raced through his mind. _'There's just something that pulls you in, something that hooks you. I wasn't even that close to Blair but I still feel it.'_ But Nate was close to Blair so he could only imagine how much stronger this pull must be for him than it had been for Dan.

As he sat through class he struggled to maintain his composure as an internal battle raged. He'd sworn he'd stay away, sworn on Blair's memory that he wouldn't disgrace her with some pathetic excuse for a look-a-like. But right now in that moment all he wanted was to talk to the girl, to see if maybe she could wake him up again, maybe she could make him remember what it was like to feel alive.

When the professor ended the lecture, he watched as Annabelle darted up quickly. Clearly she was embarrassed and didn't want to stick around. He honestly couldn't blame her after the way the professor had tried to humiliate her but he was fast on his feet and closer to the exit so he was able to catch up with her rather quickly. They had just exited the building and she was descending the outside steps when he called out to her. "Hey, wait up."

Anna turned around, surprised to see an attractive blonde guy rushing after her. He looked distinctly familiar but assuming she'd just seen him in class she brushed it aside as the guy approached her, his good looks increasing the closer he got. Dear God he was perfect in a very traditional golden boy kind of way.

"I just wanted to say that it sucked the way the professor called you out." Nate said coming to a stop in front of her. Up close the resemblance was even more shocking. He knew that right now all he should be thinking about was walking in the other direction but once more he couldn't seem to look away from her and he'd gone from wanting to talk to her, to wanting to touch her; he could only imagine where his brain would be heading from there.

"Thanks." Anna said with a slight smile, the boy almost reminded her of Jackson. "Do I know you?" She asked, her tone friendly but questioning as she wanted to ensure that it was really just that she'd seen him around as opposed to her remembering something from before but she didn't think that was likely since this time it was he who didn't seem to recognize her.

"No." Nate said shaking his head. "Nate Archibald." He said extending his hand the smile on his face practically glowing as it hid the indecisiveness he knew lay in his eyes.

Anna smiled taking his hand, he was definitely the golden boy type. "Annabelle Carmichael-Getty, and as you can probably tell from the accent, I'm from Texas, newly relocated."

Nate knew all of this of course but he'd been slowly making decisions in his head. He wouldn't be grouping himself with Chuck, Eric, Dan, and Jenny, he would simply be friends with her without her knowing that he had known Blair. The girl had to need a normal friend. And then maybe perhaps that friendship could lead to more. Nate wasn't even tracking where his mind was quickly going as he carried on the conversation with the girl. "Freshman then?" He asked as she nodded. "I dig the accent. Junior, from New York." He spoke noticing that they were still holding their hands as though in the midst of a handshake.

Anna was still smiling. Nate seemed to be so free and easy, so uncomplicated and clearly nice. "My friends call me Anna. And I can assure you I will never be late to that class ever again."

Nate smiled slightly, finally removing his hand from hers not because he wanted to but because he didn't want to weird her out. "Public humiliation is a powerful motivator, I guess that's why the teacher was such an ass to you."

Anna nodded. "I assume so. My face was probably burning the entire time. I don't even know what I said when he asked me why I was late."

Nate shook his head. "You didn't look embarrassed. You were the perfect picture of composure and don't worry, your excuse was fine."

Anna bit her lip, eyes meeting the intriguing eyes of the boy in front of her; a greenish blue flecked with gold. "I really should be going, I have a class in a few minutes and it would be good not to be late at least once today."

Nate nodded understandingly. "Of course. I wouldn't want to hold you up. I was wondering though if maybe you would like to go out with me sometime, say Friday night."

Anna tilted her head in surprise, what was in the water today, first Dan now Nate and she didn't really even know Nate. "I actually have a boyfriend."

"Of course." Nate sighed dramatically. He was well informed of her boyfriend situation, so much so that he probably qualified as a stalker. "Couldn't help but try." He stuck his hands down in his pockets and looked at her sheepishly. "Can I give you my number just in case the status quo with the boyfriend changes?"

Anna didn't want to put him down too hard, after all he was being quite nice and seemed to be one of the few people she'd met in New York that didn't want her to be someone else. But honestly if the status quo with Diego changed she knew that Chuck was still there, waiting. But there was no problem with having more friends. "How about I use the number to set up a study session? I don't know anyone else in this class or really any of my classes for that matter. It would be nice to have someone to work on the homework with."

Nate nodded, a smile reemerging brightly over his features, he knew he was turning on the patented Nate Archibald grin, twinkling eyes and all. "Definitely. Surprisingly, I don't know anyone in the class either."

"You know me." Anna said with a smile, getting out her phone and handing it to him. "Just put your number in and I'll call you on my way to class so you'll have mine.

"Perfect." Nate said as he typed in the numbers, looking up at her with a grin on his face. "There you go." He said handing it back.

Anna couldn't seem to stop smiling, Nate's smile was infectious and she just couldn't seem to help it. "I should go."

Nate nodded. "Wouldn't want you to be late again."

"See you later then Archibald." Anna spoke, beginning to move down the stairs.

Nate gave her one last beaming smile. "See you later Anna." Nate shook his head, still grinning like an idiot as he walked off; her parting words rang through his mind and sent chills down his spine. _"See you later then Archibald."_ Because in that moment he hadn't heard a southern accent at all; he'd heard the voice of Blair Waldorf saying what she'd said to him a million times before. And once more the day of his Cotillion fitting ran through his mind like a scene from a movie. _"Not bad Archibald, I almost forgot how handsome you are." _A deep unquenchable churning was left in his gut because he suddenly missed Blair so much he thought it would devour him and it left him with the indescribable need to see her again.

As he watched her disappear his mind began to race and it was as though he finally really understood what everyone else had been saying: he knew he shouldn't, he knew it wasn't right to become involved with her, but once you'd seen her it was too late. He admired Serena for seeing her, speaking to her and holding firm because he like the others was done thinking about right or wrong, he was going to be in her life, he couldn't help it.

* * *

Sam laughed as she tugged on the boys hand, moving forwards through the back door of the salon. "Shhhhh. You have to be quiet."

The boy grinned at her goofily. He could hardly believe it, he was skipping class with the hottest girl in school. He didn't know where they were going but he would have followed her anywhere, so he did his best to quiet down.

Sam smiled in the boy's direction, he was definitely eye candy and she'd taken particular pleasure swiping him away from Cadence Schuler but that hadn't been hard after she'd dethroned the bitch. His name was Riley something, Sharpe maybe? It didn't really matter to her, all that mattered was that she had a pretty little toy to play with for awhile and when she got tired of this one there were several others lined up waiting. When she'd been relegated to another year of high school she never imagined it being so much fun. Walking into the atelier she smiled at the boy. "This is what I do when I'm not at school and since you were so eager to spend time at me, I thought you could join me."

Riley nodded stupidly as though he couldn't form words which in Sam's presence he usually couldn't.

"Now you just sit right here honey." She spoke pushing him down into the chair of her desk. She stood facing away from him, rifling under the top few levels of papers on her desk. She knew she shouldn't have him here but the atelier was mostly empty with everyone down at the pre-show for fashion week today. It wasn't a big deal, just a day of everyone showing a preview of their show next week just a few designs, she'd wanted to go but her test this morning in calculus had made it pointless. So now they had the atelier all to themselves.

Riley lifted his hands, boldly placing them on her hips as she faced away from him. She turned around and shot him a glance but he simply grinned mischievously causing her to laugh. As she laughed he raised a finger to his lips and lifted an eyebrow causing Sam to remember just why she'd picked this particular boy to play with first. He was pretty much just like her. She picked up the papers she'd been looking for, designs she'd been tinkering with in her spare time and rotated. Turning around, she shifted in his arms facing him, his hands still on her hips. Leaning forwards she shifted to where her body was positioned over his, designs still in hand. "You know I'm quite talented."

"Oh I have no doubt." Riley spoke smirking as he tugged her forward until she sat straddling his lap.

Sam laughed as her arms came to rest behind his neck, her legs on either side of him. "I bet not." She spoke seductively into his, lightly blowing hot air on it before pulling back. She'd completely forgotten that she had every intention of showing him her designs when his hands made their way to her ass and his lips to her neck. Losing herself in the moment, she let loose a moan, not even hearing the heels clack on the floor.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jenny asked as she slammed the folders she was holding down on one of the other desks. She'd been observing Sam and her friend for a few minutes before she intervened, wanting to make sure she knew exactly what was going on.

Sam jerked away from Riley, whipping her head around. "Oh shit." She mumbled, extracting herself from Riley as quickly as she could manage. "Nothing, uh I was just showing my friend around."

Jenny crossed her arms. "Your friend?" She asked with a frown. "Hi Riley." She spoke tilting her head to peer around Sam to the boy she could now see.

"Jenny?" Riley drew back stunned. Looking between the two girls he was at a loss for words. Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone but he'd lost his virginity to Jenny during his junior year when she was the reigning queen. They hadn't really been dating at the time and things were still kind of weird there.

Jenny raised her eyebrows. "Last I checked you were dating Cadence."

Riley looked like he would answer but sensing the strange tension Sam cut in. "Cadence is out of the picture. Has been for a while."

Jenny scoffed as she met Sam's eyes. It had been a mistake on the girl's part to draw Jenny's attention back to her. "Which brings me back to the question, what the hell were you two doing in here? Do you not take this job seriously Sam because I took you on as an intern as a favor to Anna, if you don't want to be here then go but don't disrespect this job by playing with your boy toy here. You know it's against the rules for anyone not affiliated with the company to even be inside the shop."

At that Sam rolled her eyes. "So that's why Dan and Chuck and Serena and Eric and that other blonde guy that I haven't met are _always_ here."

Jenny took a couple steps forwards, fire burning in her eyes. "They were Blair's friends and yes they stop by to see me or Eleanor every once in a while. Eleanor is releasing the Celestial line in continuation of the Heavenly series in three days, three days, do you not understand the kind of stress that is on not just her but all of them? That line is in memory of Blair and while you are out here acting like a slutty little teenager, Eleanor herself is in her office at the end of the hall crying as she tries to finish the show stopping gown because she doesn't think any of it is good enough."

Sam deflated completely, her earlier attitude gone. She walked toward Jenny a somber look on her face, she could see that the other girl was close to tears, she'd forgotten just why she knew Jenny - the whole mess with Anna looking like Blair - she'd forgotten everything. "I thought Eleanor was at the pre-show."

Jenny shook her head. "I presented, Eleanor couldn't bring herself to do it."

"I'm sorry J, about all of it." Sam spoke, reaching out and taking the blonde's hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Thanks." Jenny said looking up at Sam. As she did she noticed for the first time that Sam had something in her hand. "What's that?" She asked gesturing towards the papers.

Sam felt her face flushing, an unusual sensation for her as she was rarely embarrassed by anything. "It's nothing, just some stuff I've been working on in my free time."

Jenny laughed slightly. "You have free time?"

Sam shrugged. "Okay so I stay up at night working on them because when I get an idea in my head I can't rest until it's out on paper. It's actually why I brought Riley. I wanted to show him my designs but I'd left them here. I'm sorry we got carried away."

Jenny nodded choosing not to address the Riley issue as it was just weird. She'd slept with him a few times right after she and Nate had broken up last year so it was kind of strange for him to be in the room for all of this. "Can I see them?" She asked, her voice friendly but still rather insistent.

Sam pursed her lips nervously but extended her arm, handing Jenny the designs. She watched anxiously as Jenny looked at the first, there were five. She watched as Jenny began to smile, flipping through the designs. She was on the third when she looked up at Sam. "You know you were born to do this right?"

Sam simply shrugged and continued to watch Jenny observe the designs. She wouldn't deny that it felt good to have Jenny's approval but she knew better than to get her hopes up when it came to her designing; she'd learned that the hard way a long time ago.

As Jenny flipped to the last page she exhaled. Looking at the design she was absolutely breathless. This one design was better than anything she'd been able to do in almost two years and it was perfect. "Come with me." She spoke stiffly to Sam before looking back at Riley. "Stay right there Riley. Seriously you better not have moved when I get back."

Riley held his hands up in surrender. "I won't move a muscle."

"Sorry." Sam called as Jenny drug her forward through the shop portion of the atelier.

Jenny looked at her seriously. "Don't be sorry, Riley can take care of himself."

Sam tilted her head sideways but before she could say more she was being drug into Eleanor's office. "What are you doing?" She hissed at Jenny.

Jenny however didn't answer as she knocked lightly on the door, barely waiting for a response before entering. "You have to see these Eleanor." She spoke walking to the desk and handing her Sam's designs.

They both watched as Eleanor laid the designs out on the table before her. Eleanor smiled, looking up over her working glasses. "Brilliant work Jennifer and I can't tell you what good timing you have. We have our showstopper. I want gown three and five in my fabrics by tomorrow morning at 8am. Put the other three in the folder for future lines."

Jenny smiled knowingly because she had known that Eleanor was going to love them. "Eleanor, these aren't mine."

"Well then whose are they and why on Earth are you wasting my time with designs we can't use?" Eleanor asked, taking off her glasses.

"You can use them." Sam said boldly. "I mean, if you want to, you can use them."

Eleanor narrowed her eyes to get a better look at the young girl next to Jenny. "And who are you?" She asked noticing the girl for the first time which was surprising with hair that looked almost as though it had been set on fire.

Jenny stepped to the side. "This is my new intern, Samantha Montgomery. And those are her designs."

"Hmph." Eleanor sighed looking over at Jenny. "You should have claimed them as your own Jennifer. I would have."

Jenny laughed knowing what game they were playing, it was an old familiar one. "Yes but I'm not you Eleanor."

Eleanor shook her head. "No you're not." At that she turned her attention back to the redhead. "Samantha is it?"

"Sam." She nodded stepping forward.

Eleanor nodded. "Well Samantha, you are very talented and I stand by what I said before, I want to use your designs. Now there's the slight problem of labeling. I can't very well give you your own just yet-" Jenny glared at her, which Eleanor matched before looking back at Sam. "However, I can credit the designs to you in the dress's info for the show."

Sam smiled brightly. "That's more than enough Eleanor."

Eleanor nodded again. "Well then you and Jennifer have work to do to get these designs ready before tomorrow. I have to make certain everything is perfect before Monday."

Sam nodded dumbly as Jenny took her elbow and tugged her from the room. Walking out into the atelier Sam slung her arms around Jenny's shoulders. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Jenny smiled as she pulled back. "Don't thank me just yet we have a lot of work to do before tomorrow, I hope you didn't have other plans because this is going to take all night. Besides they were your designs you earned it."

Sam smiled in return as they approached the desk to see Riley sitting exactly where they'd left him. "Go home Rye."

"You're not coming with me?" He asked with a pout.

Sam shook her head but it was Jenny who spoke, walking over and smacking his shoulder. "No you idiot she's not coming with you. Now get out of this atelier before I text gossip girl your little secret."

Riley's eyes widened in shock as he pushed up from his seat and scampered out the way they'd come, faster than a bat out of hell.

Sam looked at Jenny in awe. "How did you do that, the boy is normally so persistent."

Jenny laughed. "Yes but he knows that at any time I could choose to reveal to everyone that matters that he was a virgin until I got ahold of him."

Sam smirked, she could see for the first time why Jenny had been such a powerful Queen. She gave off the appearance of being quite nice but seemed to collect info like some kind of database and obviously she wasn't afraid to use it. But from what she'd been hearing, as much as she could learn from Jenny about ruling the school, she would have been able to learn more from Blair - the one who Anna looked like - if she'd still been around. Apparently, Blair was known for the way she ruled Constance with an iron fist. No one crossed her, no one even dared to threaten her monarchy other than Jenny and occasionally Serena. As they sat down to get to work on converting the designs to patterns Sam couldn't help but think how much she would have liked to spend time with Blair, the girl had to have been a total badass.

* * *

Anna exhaled as she exited French. This might have been the longest day of her life. She'd been late everywhere she went, gotten called out by a teacher, asked out twice, and had a pop quiz in French. All she wanted right now was to get down to Gemma for lunch with Chuck. There was nothing that she was craving more than a some good food and conversation with someone who really knew her because she'd felt like she was putting on some kind of show all day and she didn't have to do that with Chuck - he wanted the real her, not some mask she put up for everyone else.

When they'd first started their standing lunch date following French class, Anna had been wary. But now she couldn't imagine her MWF without them, they were the part of the week she looked forward to the most. Just an hour or so every other day that she got to relax and let down her guard.

She was prepared to walk to the outside of campus and hail a cab as Chuck had a meeting this morning down in the Village so it only made sense for her to meet him there. Anna stopped in her tracks when she saw Diego leaned up against a bike rack next to the building. Frozen, she wasn't sure what to do or what to say.

"There you are! I was beginning to get worried about you." Diego spoke, spotting his girlfriend and shooting her the most gorgeous smile.

Anna furrowed her brow as she took a few stiff steps forward. "Don't you have class right now?"

Diego shrugged. "Usually but my teacher canceled for some conference thing. I was going to tell you before your French class but I think I must have gotten out after you got there or something."

This time it was Anna who shrugged, still trying to shake her confusion and strange feeling of discontent. "No actually I was late."

"You're never late." Diego stated definitively as he looked at her with a confused glance.

Anna crossed her arms unsure of just what her problem was, she was never this moody and it couldn't be PMS, she'd just finished. "Well I was today."

Diego could sense that there was something weird going on with Anna, she wasn't acting like herself, not in the slightest. "Alright." He spoke softly as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "You know I love your hair curly."

"You do?" Anna asked softly as well. She actually hadn't known that which wasn't a complete surprise since before New York that's wasn't the kind of thing she and Diego talked about.

Diego nodded. "Yeah I do." They both paused for a moment, seemingly taking each other in and allowing one another to breathe. In that moment it seemed as though Anna had calmed down so Diego said what he came to say. "So I was actually here to see if you want to get some lunch with me. I feel like I haven't seen nearly enough of you lately and since neither of us have class I wanted to do something special."

Anna forced a somewhat reluctant smile to her face. She couldn't tell Diego that she already had plans with Chuck, especially that those plans were a regular thing, he'd freak out. So really she had no choice but to say yes; even if it meant sacrificing the part of the day she'd been most looking forward too. However, Diego was right, they hadn't seen much of each other lately as he'd been sucked into some family things more than usual and she had been loaded with studying. Maybe a nice lunch was just what they needed. "That sounds wonderful." She said with a smile. "But I need to make a call first if that's okay."

"Sure. I'll meet you out by Bennett Hall." Diego said with a smile, moving away to give her some space.

Anna nodded her assent as she dialed Chuck's number.

"Hello Annabelle. You didn't forget we're meeting at the restaurant did you?" Chuck spoke with a slight smirk. Honestly he should have sent Arthur to pick her up and just walked even though she'd insisted on taking a cab a few days ago.

Anna bit her bottom lip even though he couldn't see it. "Actually I was calling because I have to cancel. Diego showed up outside my classroom and asked me to lunch."

Chuck's grip on the phone tightened. "Couldn't you just say you have plans?"

"Chuck." She pleaded softly. "You know I can't. We've talked about this, I have to put Diego first for awhile besides he wouldn't be thrilled to know that the two of us do this three times a week. We made a decision remember, he's my boyfriend, and we can only be friends. . ."

Chuck sighed knowing she was right and that if they were 'just friends' as they said they were than they really had to act like it; which meant that when the boyfriend interrupts the plans, the friend doesn't complain. "Of course you're right. It's probably better anyway with the sponsorship thing we're doing for Fashion Week getting so complicated, I've been neglecting that lately and it really needs my attention."

Anna smiled and even though he couldn't see it, she knew he would hear it in her voice. "Thank you for understanding."

"Of course. I'll just call and cancel our reservation." Chuck spoke politely before finishing up the conversation. As he hung up, he motioned over the waitress. "Looks like it's just going to be one after all."

As Anna hung up the phone she walked over to Bennett Hall where Diego was waiting but as she locked her arms with his she couldn't deny the slight twinge of disappointment that it wasn't actually Chuck she was going to lunch with. Then Diego glanced over at her, his smile brilliant in the sunny afternoon and she felt her heart speed to an almost sickening speed, or perhaps it was her stomach that was flipping over and over again. But either way that smile of his made her absolutely melt and she remembered just why it was she'd made the choice she had. Reaching up with her hand she brought Diego's face down to meet hers and kissed him with an emotion that she hadn't realized until now that she was feeling.

Breaking away a few moments later, Diego smiled down at her. "What was that for?" He asked almost jokingly because generally Anna was not a fan of PDA.

Anna smiled softly, bringing her other hand to rest on the side of his face. "Because I love you." She said as her heart beat furiously in her chest because she'd said it without thinking things through and if he didn't feel the same she was going to be humiliated. She let her hands drop as she knew her whole face must be falling because they'd been standing there for several seconds and Diego had yet to respond.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Diego asked, cupping her cheek with his hand. Anna bit her lip before meeting his gaze and he immediately knew. In his mind he'd said it a thousand times but never aloud. "Oh Anna, I love you too. I've loved you for so long." Diego spoke, compassion filling his voice as he caught her lips with his once more, this time not stopping so quickly. He wanted to relish this moment for as long as possible because when the day came that he lost her, he always wanted to have this; always wanted to remember that he had won her love.

* * *

**So I hope you don't hate me for the ending - have faith that the status quo will change :) Also, I have to admit that I was a little disappointed by the lack of reviews for the last chapter. If you guys aren't interested in this story anymore that's fine but if that's the case I'll probably just switch my focus to another one of my stories since I've been devoting so much time to this one lately. Anyways, I guess the moral of the story is review review review, or don't and I'll write something else that you'll hopefully like better :)**

**xoxo**  
**kate **


	22. Secrets of Columbia

So first off, thank you for your reassurance after the last chapter. I know I was thinking a bit about dropping the story and I can assure you that I am no longer considering it due to the sheer number of amazing reviewers. One point that was raised a lot was the speed that the plot is moving in my story. I do like to drag things out, build up suspense, etcetera – If I wrote a novel it would be the size of Gone With the Wind rather than the size of the Little Prince – of this I am aware. And this chapter is one some of you may not find important but I assure you it is critical to the rest of the plot. HOWEVER, I am in the processes of revising the story plot in its entirety to move up when Anna realizes that she's Blair because that's what you guys are asking for – if that's not what you want let me know now before it's too late for me to fix it.

**Now on to this chapte**r: you get to see a little bit into my obsession about Secret Societies. I have done extensive research to prepare for this chapter so hopefully you appreciate it. If you'd like to learn more about the Columbia Tunnels – use Wikipedia. Yes I've elaborated on the truth but they do exist. Columbia also at one point had a society known as LNF that I've expounded on. Anyway, enjoy!

Last thing - I'm going to be in New York this weekend and I have a test both of the next two weeks SO I'm going ahead and updating this early. But that means that it might be a few weeks before my next update. Just a warning.

To my reviewers: **AquarianAir, svenjen, Crisz, ggkat1207, CarolinaGirl21, QueenBee10, GGfanficfan09, ggloverxx19, LitPrincess2787, HarrPotterfanforeverr123, cordeliamarie, Butterflies In My Stomach, ladychrysanthemum, SouthernBelle88, JissyLuv13, Sw33tHeart21, LovelyLydia, VanillaNewYork, Lyakia, jamieerin, and schizoOntheDancefloor. **Thanks for all the reassurance after the last chapter and thank you for letting me know your concerns with the story. I promise I take everything that's said in reviews into consideration (just like I mentioned with the plot movement issue above).

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Thanks as always to my amazing beta **ggff-fan** I don't know what I'd do without your help!

* * *

"Have a good time in Greece." Anna smiled as she closed her economics book. She and Nate had just finished their last assignment together before fall break. The two of them had grown surprisingly close over the past month, so close that she truly counted him among her friends. She had been surprised and more than a little disappointed to hear that he was going to Greece for fall break because Diego was so incredible busy with the family, Cassie had gone home to Texas, Dan was visiting his mom in Hudson, Chuck was almost constantly in business meetings, and Sam and Jenny were in Italy with Eleanor. She'd been hoping that Nate could keep her occupied in the meantime but he was jetting off on some last minute trip to Greece with an old friend.

Nate smiled. Honestly he didn't want to go to Greece. Serena had called yesterday and practically begged, and after the way they'd left things he thought it was beyond a bad idea but he hadn't seen Trinity in so long that he couldn't help but agree. He obviously hadn't told Anna who he was going with as that would ruin his pledge to himself to keep his past with them separate from his relationship with her. "I'm sorry I had to cancel our plans, really I am. I wouldn't be going if it was just my friend but we're going to see someone."

Anna nodded understandingly. "Don't worry about it Archibald, I'm sure I'll find some other way to occupy my time."

"I'm sure you will." Nate spoke his voice friendly but low. He didn't want to think of the people that would be occupying Anna's time while he was absent because just as he hadn't told Anna about his relationship to all of them, he hadn't told them that he was seeing Anna and he didn't look forward to them finding out. Chuck was going to kill him as would Serena. Shaking his head of unpleasant thoughts he focused on Trinity - it had been entirely too long since he'd seen the precious little girl and he honestly felt like he was part of the girl's family, he didn't like the thought of abandoning her with Serena's dad for so long. "Now I have to go or I'll miss my flight. Have a good fall break." His flight wasn't really until later tonight but he needed to be out of the room in the next fifteen minutes or he'd get Anna in trouble, she was about to have a visitor, a very important visitor that would give him reason to spend a lot more time with her in the coming weeks.

Anna smiled giving Nate a brief hug. "You too." As Nate exited her dorm room she sighed relaxing backwards on her bed. For the first time in as long as she could remember, Anna had absolutely nothing to do. Everyone she knew was either busy or out of town and she was completely by herself and just like that she was regretting her decision to stay in New York with Diego rather than heading back to Texas for the five day break. Just as she was contemplating what DVD she'd watch tonight she heard a knock on the door. Frowning she rose from the bed, she wasn't expecting anyone tonight and most of the other girls on the hall had already gone home. Opening the door she looked at the person before her curiously, it was an immaculately dressed guy, a guy she'd never seen before. "Can I help you?" She asked, doing her best to keep her voice friendly.

Trey Pearson gave a stiff nod before speaking. "Annabelle Carmichael-Getty." He stated, she gave a slight nod of affirmation and he let a slight grin slip past his mask. He was immensely relieved that as of right now he hadn't screwed anything up. This was an unusual situation for him. "Then follow me."

Anna lifted one perfectly manicured eyebrow as she crossed her arms. "Excuse me."

Trey paused letting out what sounded like an exasperated sigh. "Trust me, you want to follow me. If you make this difficult then I'm going to be in serious trouble."

Alarmed Anna gave a quick jerk of her head. "You've got to be kidding me, I'm not going anywhere with you. I don't know you."

Running a hand over his head Trey realized he'd seriously fucked up. They'd decided as a group to approach this one a different way than they usually did after being assured that their usual precautions were unnecessary. This was not supposed to be his job. As soon as Nate had decided to go AWOL for the break they should have either postponed this or treated it like a normal case but no, they had to stick with the plan and he got stuck dealing with it. "Are you seriously telling me Nate didn't let anything spill about this?"

"Nate?" Pulling backwards Anna looked in confusion at the guy before her. "What does this have to do with Nate?"

Trey actually began to laugh and the second the laughter broke he couldn't stop. It had been a stressful week with midterms and now this? Apparently he'd cracked under the pressure.

"Are you okay?" Anna asked finally moving to the other side of the doorway. The guy might have been cryptic but she was fairly certain he wasn't dangerous even if he might be a little unhinged.

Trey simply shook his head, still laughing though this time he did try to speak. "Typical Archibald, finally figures out what confidentiality means when I'd rather him forget."

Anna bit her lip looking at the guy curiously. Apparently he knew Nate and they were close but not that close. But this guy had believed that Nate was going to break a rule and tell her something. "I'll go with you." She said surprising herself almost as much as him.

A look of relief overcame Trey's face as he finally felt himself relax. "Oh thank God because I really didn't know what I was going to tell my superiors." Anna looked at him curiously but he just shook his head. "Don't worry about it I've already told you more than I was supposed to."

Anna's brows furrowed as she followed the guy out of her building. "So are you going to tell me your name or where we're going or anything of that sort?"

"Can't, sorry." Trey said, actually meaning it. This had to be torture for a girl like her. In his opinion the regular way was easier but a few of the others had really pushed for this more unusual approach. It wasn't like it was never done, however usually the person it involved was a legacy or something who already knew what was going on. "What I can say is you're lucky, usually this involves a fairly uncomfortable situation for you."

For the first time Anna contemplated the possibility that she was being kidnapped. What if this guy had just used Nate's name to get her to go with him after seeing Nate leave her room. It was definitely possible but why would someone want to kidnap her? Was it even kidnapping if she went willingly? Contemplating these questions, Anna continued to blindly follow her new friend, if you could call him, that until they reached one of the buildings she was quite familiar with on campus. "What are we doing at Kent Hall?"

Trey gave her a conspirtual look and laughed. "It's the easiest entry point unless you want to go through the disgusting manhole?"

"What are you-" Anna started before suddenly stopping. Oh my God. She knew exactly where they were going. Shit if she really was being kidnapped and they killed her, no one would ever find her body where they were going. "The tunnels." She spoke finally, resigned. "We're going down in the tunnels."

Trey laughed once more, for some reason this girl seemed to make him laugh a lot. "You know the more you question me the funnier you get. Please tell me you've been in the tunnels before?"

Anna pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, this guy kept patronizing her; she didn't know his name, didn't know where they were going, didn't know anything and yet he kept talking to her like she was supposed to, like she was someone else. For a brief moment she wondered if they were only doing this because she looked like Blair. Maybe Blair knew all these things this guy expected her to know but after a moment she pushed the thought from her mind, of course Blair wouldn't have known any of this, she never attended Columbia. "I've never been in the tunnels because it's not allowed."

At that the guy smirked. "Well darling that depends entirely on who you are, now go on in."

Anna did as he asked, entering into the basement level of Kent Hall where they walked over to a downward staircase. She'd known this was an entrance, one of the more popular ones after those up around Havemeyer and Pupin, people liked this one because it crossed under College Walk to Hamilton. She'd heard of people taking it when it was raining or snowing outside and then Hamilton connected back to her dorm Hartley which brought an interesting question to her mind. "Why didn't we use the tunnel entrance in Hartley or Hamilton?"

"I'm not trying to get seen and then followed by a bunch of Freshman looking for adventure. I maintain that it was a mistake not to just tap you like we do everyone else." Trey spoke not realizing what he'd said until it was too late. "Shit." He muttered as Anna's eyes widened.

"Tap me? As in secret society tap?"

Trey nodded. He was going to be in serious trouble if this didn't all work out. "Yes, now if that's enough questioning?"

This time Anna nodded fervently. All the pieces were starting to click together. The guy's dropped clues, Nate's hurry to leave earlier, all the secrecy; she was being tapped for a secret society, one that Nate was already in. Noticing how hot it had gotten since they'd arrived in the tunnels Anna looked around realizing they were surrounded by steaming pipes.

Still following, she watched as her guide or whatever he was produced a flashlight, when he stopped and turned towards what looked to Anna like a large air duct Anna was surprised, she'd assumed they were going under the Philosophy building in the regular tunnels, not this. But this time she didn't say anything, simply followed. As the tunnel kinked it managed to get even smaller, small enough that she was forced to get down on her hands and knees. For once she was glad she was wearing jeans.

Anna watched as her guide slowed to a stop in what appeared to be a large room, only there was barely enough room for a tall person to sit down without hitting their head on the ceiling. Coming to a stop next to the guide she looked at him curiously. "What now?"

"Now we wait." Trey replied setting his flashlight pointed up as was agreed for the signal. Honestly this was as far as he could get her without a superior officer, that's why he'd been surprised when he'd been assigned this particular task. "Do you know where we are?" He asked, glancing over at the girl.

Anna looked around. In her immediate vicinity the area was clear but she could see what appeared to be really old file cabinets lining at least one edge of the strange area. Thinking about where they turned, Anna realized she did have a pretty good idea where they were. "Buell." She spoke softly. "We're under Bloomingdales, the old insane asylum."

Trey nodded. "Very good. Actually back when this was Bloomingdales it wasn't really 'under' this was the records room back then the boilers didn't come until later." He gestured over to the file cabinets she'd been looking at earlier. "Those are old files from the asylum. We considered relocating them a few times but they serve their purpose."

"What purpose?" Anna inquired immediately. This whole ordeal was becoming more curious by the second.

Deciding that he'd already fucked up so royally that he was already completely screwed if this girl went psycho and rejected membership or decided to spill the secrets, Trey decided he might as well tell her. "IF you have one of the key cards you can access a staircase hidden behind those files. It's funny back before they started closing off the tunnels, before the key cards were necessary people could have accessed that staircase at any point but that I know of no one did. Now you have to be one of us to get to it."

Anna nodded but the more the guy talked the more confused she seemed to get. What was he blabbing on about the tunnels and key cards? Someone was going to have to sit her down and explain all of this because she simply wasn't catching on. "How'd we get the key cards?"

Trey didn't even bother to contemplate not telling her and simply answered her question. "We have the key cards because the doors were our idea. We didn't like how close a few people were coming to our secrets and we weren't thrilled at the possibility of any of them finding any of the hidden tunnels."

Anna was about to ask more when a figure began to approach on all fours. As it neared it stopped and with it's hand knocked on the floor. "Knock-Knock, Knock-Knock-Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock" Anna was still staring at the new addition when her guide began to form a response. "Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock."

"Welcome brother." The new presence said to her guide. "Follow."

The new figure was slightly alarming to Anna, broader, shrouded in darkness; it made her old guide seem like a friend so she stuck close to his side as they continued on through an increasingly narrow passage. As they came to a sudden stop Anna looked around in alarm. Everyone knew the legend of the tunnels: some were heating tunnels remaining from the old mental asylum, some were sets of steam tunnels that were used to transport coal for heating, and some were mysteries. There were rumored to be tunnels used to transport foreign dignitaries or other important persons across Columbia University's campus unseen and before it Kings College had many important alumni. But the secrets of the tunnels were well kept and many were now locked off but apparently that wasn't the case for her current companions. From what she'd seen of tunnel maps they could continue the direction they'd been going, it would lead to Uris Hall but there would be a block there. Another option would be to continue forward several yards and turn right but once more they would be blocked, this time in the chapel. Her companions however were now facing the left where she could see red-hot piping and only about six inches to a foot of clearance. "I'm not going in there." She spoke her voice wavering for the first time.

Trey looked at her and just shook his head, the other guy (Trey assumed it was Mitchell by the size though he couldn't see his face covered by a mask of sorts) simply laughed. He took out what appeared to be a key - not a key card but an actual key - and slid it into a break in the rocks that Anna couldn't even see with the key in it. Leaning over to Anna, Trey whispered. "That's why we had to wait. I have a key card to access the blocks but I don't have a skeleton key."

Anna felt herself swallow as the unknown companion turned the key. Hearing a click Anna marveled as the pipes began to disappear upwards while the flooring underneath lowered. And just like that there was easily seven or eight feet of clearance. "Are those pipes even functional?" She asked, not really bothering to stay quiet anymore as she was fairly certain they were completely alone.

Trey would have answered by their other companion, who he was now certain was Mitchell, beat him to it. "They serve the purpose of keeping others out. Which is what they were put there, of course. We were integral in the construction of most of the tunnels."

Anna said nothing, instead she simply followed. Whether these guys were blowing smoke up her ass or they were really as powerful as they said they were right now she didn't really care. Her curiosity had grown so strong she could hardly stand it. So she kept quiet and followed. Until the guy before her simply stopped. "Knock-Knock, Knock-Knock-Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock"

From the other side of the door she could hear voices, one louder than the other. "Who seeks entrance?"

"Fellows Huckleberry Finn and Jay Gatsby, accompanied by one." Mitchell spoke as though he were reading a script he'd read a million times before.

Anna was shaking as the voice on the side of the door spoke again. "Is the one worthy?"

Mitchell glanced over at the girl before speaking, a slight smile on his face though she likely couldn't see it. "That shall be determined before the whole."

"Enter and the tests shall begin."

With the withdrawal of the key once more, the shadowed companion slid the key into the lock and turned. This time the door before them groaned slightly before drawing inwards revealing an opening to a room more magnificent that Anna had ever seen. It was luminous and larger than Anna could possibly comprehend in that one moment. It was clear they had entered the room from the side as her guides walked her up the side towards what she assumed was the front as there was a table of seven that was facing the rest of the room, she immediately noticed that two of the seats were empty. Turning her attention away from the table she looked at the rows of people, there were tables, spaced in perfect rows with one great aisle down the center. The people were sitting around, each wearing cloaks, their faces hidden by what Anna could now see were simply masquerade masks. Watching as the guy who'd collected her put on a robe and took a seat amongst them Anna was suddenly aware that she was standing before at least fifty people and she was completely alone. Trying to think of anything else she looked around the room at walls filled with books and priceless artifacts; the whole room seemed to glow.

Reaching the front of the room the second guide stood next to her facing not the people assembled but the table currently seating five. She watched as her guide spoke. "Fellow Huckleberry Finn presents the one, Annabelle Carmichael-Getty, for testing."

The cloaked person sitting in the center nodded. "Fellow Huckleberry Finn take your seat, the potential will continue on her own." Anna watched as the second of her companions, the one they were calling Huckleberry Finn walked to the long table and took a seat, leaving one remaining but as she watched Huck sit she realized that the person now giving directions hadn't glanced away from her once. She looked at him, looked at his eyes past the decorative mask, and held his gaze for longer than she could possibly count until he smirked. "Test one has been passed, in what might be record time." Pausing momentarily his smirk widened. "I, Fellow Hamlet, welcome you."

Anna barely batted an eyelash, rather she remained still. She didn't know what test one had entailed but she was determined to continue with this. She registered gasps throughout the room and supposed that this was not usual though the boy who'd picked her up had led her to believe that none of this was usual. The man in the center who'd referred to himself as Hamlet gestured to his left. "You are present before the oldest society at Columbia University, one of the oldest anywhere. Formed in 1775 during the days of Kings College by names you likely know well: Alexander Hamilton, John Jay, Gouverneur Morris, Robert R. Livingston, Egbert Benson, Robert Troup, and Nicholas Fish. Original members were of an organization known as Hearts of Oak which would be renamed Liberty's New Fellows in 1785 in homage to its founders following the Revolutionary War. We refer to ourselves as Fellows and it is our founding fathers' beliefs and values that we stand by today. In Newland Archer's absence, test two will be delayed though I suggest you commit these facts to memory."

Anna continued looking at him, waiting on him to proceed, however it was the girl to his right who spoke. "I, Fellow Elizabeth Bennet, present your third test. You must retrieve something for us, something that once belonged to us and must again." Anna's breathing practically stopped but she didn't let it show, rather she sat and continued to stare forward. "The Heartsong necklace. You will retrieve it or you will fail the third test and shall not be granted admittance into our fold."

Elizabeth Bennet had stopped speaking and it appeared as though attention was shifting between her and Hamlet. She had quickly surmised that he was the leader and she assumed that whoever Newland Archer was, was second in command. "Do you have any questions?" Hamlet asked.

Anna swallowed, wetting her throat, unwilling to show a lack of nerve. "How long do I have to complete this task?" Around her she could hear rumbles of laughter and immediately knew the response she would receive would not be what she'd hoped.

It was Hamlet who spoke once more. "Time is of the essence. You will be granted three days. You must have collected the artifact before the twentieth hour in three days time or you will not be admitted into the Fellows. Do not fail us. And I don't think I need to say that this is all to be kept secret. I don't want to have to tell you what would happen should you betray our secrets."

"How will I find you?" She asked, feeling her heart begin to race. She didn't even known what the Heartsong necklace was, let alone how to find it. To do so in three days would be impossible. If Nate had been here maybe not, maybe Nate could have helped her. Struck with an idea, Anna pondered for a moment the prospect that Newland Archer might be Nate Archibald, it would be almost a funny coincidence with the names lining up so well.

Hamlet simply smirked. "We'll find you. Now if that's all, Fellow Jay Gatsby will escort you back."

Anna gave a stiff nod and turned to spot Gatsby who was now standing near where they had entered still wearing the cloak and mask. Walking over he took her by the elbow, leading her not where they'd come in but instead towards a different door in the back, a much grander door. Reaching the back, two attendants cloaked in red robes with simple black masks rather than the elaborate velvet black robes of the Fellows with their intricate personal masks, opened the doors. Stepping through they were in a cloak room where Gatsby proceeded to remove his cloak and mask, hanging his cloak under a name plate and his mask on the shelf directly above. Anna looked around in amazement, each individual had their own individual place to hang their wardrobe and their own stand for their mask, everything about it was lavish and intricate.

Gatsby smiled when he looked at her but as she opened her mouth to speak, he lifted a finger to his lips and shook his head, simply motioning for her to follow him. The door at the end of the walkway was much less grand but no less intricate on this side. Gatsby opened it revealing a strange room, small and circular. Observing the room she saw an elevator and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion but once more Gatsby steered her towards a different door, releasing a latch on the door he opened it revealing what appeared to be the longest hallway Anna had ever seen. To Anna everything, the whole establishment was swirls of gold and mahogany and it was beautiful.

Shutting the door behind him Gatsby started down the hallway turning to glance at Anna. "You can speak now."

But now Anna's mouth simply fell open, unable to form any complete phrases she simply nodded.

Gatsby smirked at her. "That's what I thought."

Narrowing her eyes, Anna tilted her head as suddenly all the questions began to pour out. "That was amazing! Is Newland Archer Nate? Cause I think it's Nate. And that first test, what was it? And was Elizabeth Bennet trying to be a bitch? How am I even supposed to find that artifact? And since you are Jay Gatsby in there should I call you that or do I get to know your real name? And where the hell are we? Was that an elevator back there?" She whipped her head round to peer behind her.

Trey held up a hand shaking his head, but for some reason he couldn't stop smiling. "You ask a lot of questions, some of which I can't answer."

Anna nodded, having anticipated that would be his response.

"But, I'll answer what I can." Trey said with a smile. "Newland Archer was supposed to be your guide if that helps." He spoke with a look that answered her question quite clearly as he had already told her Nate was supposed to pick her up. "Only the seven get the original keys, as there were seven members of Hearts of Oak that formed LNF. As for Elizabeth she puts up a firm front but that's because she is one of only a few girls and the first to become a member of the seven though from the talk it sounds like you'll be the second." Anna's eyebrows shot upwards but Trey shook his head. "You shouldn't be so surprised. They are confident enough you'll succeed in your tasks that they didn't take any of the usual precautions. They only do that with legacies usually. Not to mention, if you didn't notice you're the only person who has been tapped. That's another trait characteristic of legacies, legs are tapped in the fall and everyone else in the spring. Though for the most part they don't forgo the secrecy even with legacies. Most of the time you would have been ambushed, blindfolded and practically dragged through the tunnels. The last time they did it this way was when Fitz came through and I mean he's like the biggest legacy there is, being a descendant of one of the founders." Noting her confusion Trey clarified his statement. "Fitz is Hamlet."

"I'm not a . . ." Anna said trailing off.

Trey shook his head. "Believe me, I'm aware. That's why everyone was watching you so closely tonight." Trey paused briefly trying to remember the rest of what she'd asked. "You asked about the first test, your performance there is going to ensure that they continue to watch you. The first is really quite simple but most have a difficult time with it. With a normal tap class they are brought in and presented one at a time before the collective. After Fitz tells them they are alone, the task is simply to lock eyes with Fitz for what he considers to be a solid amount of time. But you can't simply look at him, your eyes must lock. You did it immediately, most it takes five or ten minutes - I've sat there for two hours before waiting. The test is failed after three hours - it has happened."

Anna shook her head, unable to even speak. She'd acted completely out of instinct. When confronted you stare down your opposition, it was that easy. It was the only way to measure up your challenger.

Trey looked pensive for a moment as he pondered her other questions and selectively picking out the ones which he could answer. "Oh, right you asked where we are, right now we are underground, that looks like the above entrance from College Walk which means we are about halfway between Low Memorial Library and Butler Library."

Anna's eyes widened once more. "You mean that passage actually exists?"

"As you are currently walking it, I'd say it exists." Trey said smiling rather triumphantly. "You know we're the only ones with access. And yes in the entrance room that was an elevator, it goes upstairs into Low. Our floor is only accessible with the key card. Members generally enter through either this passage or the Low elevator. Did you have any other questions? Oh yes, my name. I'm Trey Pearson, sophomore. Archer is my older brother in the Fellows that's how I ended up saddled with babysitting you I believe."

Anna rolled her eyes. "Come on, you know you love me."

Trey just shook his head though he couldn't help but crack a smile. "As for the artifact, they are serious when they mean a vow of secrecy and unfortunately I'm not permitted to help you with any of your tasks though I'm sure Nate would have had he been here. I'm not one of the seven so I can't exactly risk it. Though I do wish you luck."

As Trey finished talking Anna realized they'd neared the end of the hallway. Trey simply opened this door and as he shut it Anna looked back curiously. "What's to keep people from coming in?" Though even as she asked she saw the key card swipe and simply sighed. "Goodnight Trey."

"Goodnight Annabelle." He called back before heading in the opposite direction.

Walking up the stairs Anna found that she was indeed in the basement of Butler. Thinking that it might be useful to do a little bit of research before leaving the library she walked to one of the carrels where there was a computer lab and took a seat. Accessing Google, she typed in "Heartsong necklace" and waited, her heart dropping as she began to read the first page that appeared. It was a necklace given by a member of the Whitney family to his fiancé during his senior year at . . .Columbia University. Anna would have put money that he was a member of the Fellows since Elizabeth Bennet had said that the necklace once belonged to them. Reading onward Anna felt a strange tightening in her stomach. At a grand party to announce their engagement, she'd worn the necklace for the first and the last time. The story read that she had stepped out on the balcony for some fresh air and had been murdered; the murderer stealing the necklace. Clicking article after article it was always the same story, never any hints as to where she could find this likely expensive necklace. A couple times she would come across where it had been sold at auction but never anything recent.

Sighing, Anna leaned back in her chair. She was going to have to seek help on this and if Nate was unavailable she'd simply have to look elsewhere. Diego she knew had a lot of connections, especially in the jewelry market, perhaps he'd be able to at least discover where the necklace was, even if he couldn't help her acquire it. Looking down at her watch she sighed, Diego would still be at the Warehouse but she needed to see him, she needed to see him as soon as possible. Besides she was so excited, she had to see him, she had to have someone she could confide all of this in and honestly she missed him. So she resolved to do something she'd told Diego she wouldn't and make the trip down to the Warehouse.

Almost half an hour later, Anna was sliding into a cab. She felt herself holding her breath even as she gave the cab driver the address. It was almost funny that Diego thought she didn't know where the Warehouse was but she wasn't stupid, she'd heard him tell too many drivers just as she shut the cab door. Anna inhaled and exhaled slowly, her breathing unsteady. There was a good chance that Diego was going to be mad at her for this but she wouldn't stay long, only long enough to ask for his help. She was certain he'd leave with her after that. She'd thought about just calling his cell phone only to remember he'd left it in her room that afternoon. If this wasn't so time sensitive she'd just wait but if she didn't find this thing soon, she had no hope of procuring it.

Arriving at the address, Anna immediately spotted the building she was looking for. It was down on the wharf near the bridge. Walking over goosebumps began to rise on her skin, she'd started to get a bad feeling about all of this. Shaking her shoulders, she assured herself that Diego would never let any harm come to her, that this couldn't be that dangerous. It wasn't even a meeting tonight or anything, Diego was just on guard duty or something. Approaching the door she assumed was the main one, Anna pushed inward, revealing what appeared to be an empty warehouse. Looking around Anna called out, her voice rather quiet as though speaking too loudly would be a bad thing. "Diego"

Noticing a shape moving in the shadows, Anna turned to get a better look, smiling as she assumed it was Diego. "Hey." The figure stepped into the light and she found herself taking a few steps back. This guy was not Diego and his face was cut up like he was the Joker or something.

"Well what do we have here?" Smiley asked, approaching the pretty girl before him. She looked so innocent, so untouched, as though she might break if you bumped into her; and oh how he'd love to break her.

Anna's eyes went wide. "Where's Diego?" She asked still backing away, this had definitely been a bad idea, the guy before her was scary and the look in his eyes was absolutely terrifying.

Smiley grinned. "Don't worry, Angel's around here somewhere. I'll keep you company while you wait." He spoke reaching out and stroking her arm.

"Stay away from me." Anna shouted. This time as she backed away she stumbled and watched as the creep in front of her grinned, his eyes glinting.

Diego rolled his eyes, thinking he'd heard voices. Who the hell was at the Warehouse? Probably some whore Smiley had brought over, Diego thought, leaning back against the outside wall. He had volunteered to guard the back door, wanting to be as far away from Smiley as possible, the guy continually gave him the creeps. Content to simply ignore them, Diego was about to do a lap around the building when he heard the girl inside shout. In seconds he was running inside the warehouse as fast as his feet could carry him, he knew that voice.

Reaching the pair he knocked Smiley across the side of head with his elbow, jerking Anna away. Grasping both her shoulders he shook her. "What the hell are you doing here Anna? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Anna shook her head slightly and as she met Diego's gaze, she was scared in his presence for the first time in her life. "No I -"

But Diego didn't let her finish. "You promised me you'd stay away from here, away from all this. I won't have you getting hurt. Use your head Anna! I've told you time and time again that you can't be around this. I don't know what you were thinking!"

"Diego, I'm sorry." Anna finally managed to spurt out. She felt as though she were about to cry. She'd known of course that Diego would be mad but not this mad. Nor had she thought that the creepy guy who had scurried away after Diego had knocked him across the head would have bothered her. She knew she was shaking as her eyes pleaded with him to forgive her.

Diego shut his eyes slightly, relaxing his hold on her shoulders and pulling her to him. "Never do that again Anna. Promise me you'll never come here again. I can't protect you here." He'd never been more scared in his entire life than he had been at that moment.

Anna nodded into his chest, her arms wrapping around him. "I promise."

Diego held her tightly for a moment before pulling away. "You need to go home. You can't stay here."

Anna nodded once more, her shaking beginning to fall under control as she allowed him to lead her outside by the hand. As they passed Smiley she noticed him shrink away as Diego sent him a murderous glare, she had no doubt that once she was gone Diego would do a lot more than glare at the guy but she knew that he could handle himself. Placing her in the cab, Diego exhaled. "I love you and I don't want to lose you, you know that right."

She nodded again. "I know. I love you too and Diego, I really am sorry."

Placing a single kiss on her forehead, Diego simply shut the door. He couldn't tell her it was okay because right now, it wasn't. Walking back towards the building, his eyes looked for Smiley; he had some business to take care of now.

Anna had every intention of returning home until she remembered the reason she'd gone to Diego in the first place. Sighing, she ran her fingers through her hair. She still needed help and if Diego was out of the question she would need someone else. Smiling, Anna realized, she knew someone else with even more connections than Diego. Leaning forward she gave the driver a new address before relaxing into her seat.

0980908098098098987970

Chuck swirled the caramel colored liquid in his glass. Taking a sip, he relished the burning in his throat, it took a strong scotch to do that for him now. Tonight he was drinking because what he would rather be doing was spending time with Anna but with their rule of not being alone together that was rather difficult. Taking another drink from his glass he heard a knock at his door. He furrowed his eyebrows, not really expecting to see anyone tonight. As he began to stand, a giddy sort of feeling entered his stomach as though he knew who was at the door and he was excited about it. All of the sudden, he couldn't get to the door fast enough, though he forced himself to fix a mask of nonchalance on his face before he actually opened it. Seeing Anna there he smiled, the feeling in his gut had been correct. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" He asked with a slow smirk.

Anna smiled the way she always did when she saw Chuck, she just couldn't help it. "I actually need your help with something."

"Of course. Whatever you need." Chuck responded quickly, opening the door further and gesturing for her to enter.

Anna did so quickly, she'd already wasted so much time tonight, she didn't want to waste any more. "So I really shouldn't be talking about this, I mean I'm not supposed to ask for help. . ."

Chuck's eyebrows raised. "I assure you I'm not going to tell the University you're breaking the Honor Code. Is it your econ homework?" He asked setting his glass of scotch down on the counter. If Anna was here for homework help he was done drinking for the night.

Anna shook her head. "I think it's a little more serious than that."

This time Chuck's eyebrows dropped down, his eyes narrowing in concern. "You're not in some kind of trouble are you." He stated more than asked.

"Oh no." Anna replied quickly. "Or at least I don't think I am. I need to procure an item and I don't even know where to start."

Chuck drew his head back. She couldn't possibly be asking him for help for what it sounded like, could she? Tapping for non-legacies wasn't until the spring. "Anna. . ." He started ready to speak when she pulled out a piece of paper.

"I need to find this." She spoke handing Chuck a sheet that she had printed from the library computer.

Chuck clenched his teeth as he looked at the page. He hadn't been told about any of this, but one look at what Anna was looking for and he knew his earlier suspicion was correct. Anna was looking for the Heartsong necklace and the only people who would ask her to do that were the Fellows. Handing her back the paper he met her eyes. "You're right, you shouldn't be talking about this."

Anna's eyes fell but as they did she realized that Chuck must know something. She didn't know how since he didn't attend Columbia but Chuck must be a member. Shit now she really was in trouble.

Chuck reached out a hand about to place it on her shoulder when he remembered the no touching rule and stopped. "It's okay, I'm still going to help." He said with a smirk.

Anna smiled as she followed him towards the table where his laptop was sitting. "Are you one of them?" She asked softly. "I mean it's obvious you knew what the necklace was when I showed it to you but you seemed surprised at the same time."

Chuck narrowed his eyes as though he were thinking while he opened the internet on his computer. "It's complicated." Chuck paused briefly, typing in his username and password to an auction site he was familiar with. Members of the site could find virtually anything they wanted of course membership came at a very high price. "My father was a Fellow and though I didn't attend Columbia they tapped me when he died. He was one of their largest benefactors and they didn't want to lose our family's support. So I am a member, though mostly in abstention. They throw some rather lavish parties that I attend on occasion and they can actually be quite useful at times. The only time I'm required to be there is initiation but I'm generally invited to everything. It's strange they've tapped you and I didn't know about it."

Anna would have been satisfied with his answer but Chuck now seemed to be talking more to himself.

"They must know you look like her and didn't care to upset me. That still begs the question of why you were tapped now instead of in the spring. Someone must have been pushing quite heavily for you to be tapped." Narrowing his eyes, Chuck assessed the situation. If Nate hadn't been adamant about not being involved with her he would have thought it was his best friend but as firm as Nate had been in his decision it couldn't have been him. Someone else must have met Anna, someone she'd made quite an impression on, maybe Fitz.

Anna just nodded. Chuck was clearly deep in thought and she didn't want to disturb him. Chuck didn't say anything for a moment as he searched for the necklace. As he found it he shook his head, this was no typical Fellows assignment and it raised his suspicion of Nate's involvement which made no sense as Nate was in Greece with Serena. Turning to face Anna he tilted his head. "Do you know the story behind the necklace?"

"I read about it earlier." Anna said, perching on the edge of the table ready to listen to whatever Chuck was sure to add and she wasn't disappointed.

Chuck nodded. "Did you know that the Whitney bride was a Vanderbilt?" As he spoke he lifted one eyebrow.

Anna shook her head, not really knowing what that meant. She knew the Vanderbilt name was as powerful as was the Whitney family but past that she didn't know much. "Does that mean something for us?"

Chuck chuckled darkly. "Only that this isn't going to be easy. The Heartsong was auctioned off at Sotheby's two weeks ago. I'm assuming the Fellows underestimated and were out bid."

"By who?" Anna asked, genuine surprise filling her voice.

Chuck just shook his head, it really was quite ironic. "By one of the Astor's."

Anna tilted her head confused. There was something important here something right on the outside of her memory. Suddenly it hit her. "Aren't the Vanderbilt's and the Astor's rivals?"

Chuck nodded, surprised that Anna had known such a detail, it wasn't that it was a secret. Just about everyone who kept up with the old family hierarchy knew the Astor's and the Vanderbilt's hated each other but he didn't think Anna would be one of those. "They're the only family that the Vanderbilt's hate more than the Buckley's. Which means, the Astor's aren't going to be giving this up for very cheap."

"Oh." Anna said, deflating slightly. Her family had money but she always felt a little guilty spending it and from the sound of Chuck's voice this really wasn't going to be pocket change.

Chuck pursed his lips for a moment before making a decision. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it." He had a few favors he could call in. Perhaps he could acquire this necklace in a timely fashion.

Anna shook her head. "I can't let you do that."

Chuck shrugged. "Of course you can," withdrawing his phone he sent a quick message. "In fact, it's already done."

Anna sighed, knowing it was useless to fight Chuck on well anything. Chuck simply smirked. "Now why don't you tell me why you came to me with this as opposed to Diego? I would assume he still has the kind of connections his family had back when we were younger."

Pursing her lips, Anna was unable to manage a reply quickly enough. She looked away trying to buy more time but she knew it was too late with Chuck; a single moments hesitation and Chuck would know she wasn't being truthful.

"Are you going to tell me or will it take further persuasion?" Chuck asked rather smugly. He found himself unable to ignore the growing feeling of hope in his chest, hope that something really wrong had happened between them, or even something small, something that might grow into something big.

Anna leaned her head back, trying to keep from meeting his gaze but it was like magnetics because her eyes just seemed to click to his. "I went to Diego first. I went to the Warehouse."

At the mention of the word Warehouse, Chuck's eyebrows furrowed. Assuming the Gutierrez family still ran shop out of the same old place, he'd been there once; he and Diego had snuck out and gone, it was down in the Bowery. Not that he admitted it then or even now, but he had been petrified, the place seemed to scream dangerous. Anna certainly didn't belong there.

Seeing the look on Chuck's face, the one that said that this was already Diego's fault, Anna knew she had to qualify her statement. "Diego has always been adamant about me never going there. He didn't even know I knew where it was but I was so excited and I thought it was just him you know on guard or whatever." She paused momentarily, knowing she was getting to the more difficult part. "It wasn't just him. This other guy was there, his face was all messed up. He tried to touch me but Diego heard me scream and came running. He was furious with me afterwards for coming."

Chuck crossed his arms tightly across his chest to keep from calling in a hit on whoever it had been that had touched her, or worse, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking some sense into her. "Promise me you won't go back there."

Anna smiled just a fraction. "Diego made me promise the same thing."

Chuck nodded, content but anything but okay. He wasn't about to let this go right now. It didn't matter what she'd promised Diego; he was trusting Diego to keep her safe and if he couldn't achieve that Chuck would do something about it. Immediately he promised himself that he would keep closer tabs on Diego, perhaps even pull a few PIs off retainer. He wouldn't have Anna getting hurt, under any circumstances. Breaking into his reverie, Chuck noticed that Anna was staring at him quite steadily. "What is it?" He asked softly, curiously.

Anna shrugged. "Really I was just wondering what your name in the Fellows is?" They had been sitting there for a few moments without saying anything and not only did this particular statement change the topic, she was actually genuinely curious.

Chuck smirked just a little, though it quickly faded from his face. "Fellow Holden Caulfield."

Anna couldn't help but laugh. She didn't even know that much about Chuck, she certainly hadn't known him all that long but from everything she did know, they couldn't have picked a more perfect character.

Rolling his eyes, Chuck managed to crack a small smile. "Yes the seven tend to have quite the sense of irony about them."

Tilting her head, Anna study Chuck strangely. "What do you think they'll name me if I get in?"

"Oh you'll get in." Chuck spoke quickly before relaxing his brain to think about her question. From what he could see there were a few good options: Portia from the Merchant of Venice, Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With the Wind, Becky Sharpe from Vanity Fair, and Emma Woodhouse from Jane Austin's Emma, however one in particular seemed to come to the forefront. "If I were making a bet, I would have to say Catherine Earnshaw, though Emma Woodhouse would be a close second."

Anna lifted her brows in surprise. Emma she'd expected or at least thought of and maybe even someone like Jane Eyre but honestly Catherine Earnshaw hadn't crossed her mind once, not to mention she wasn't exactly placing any bets on her managing a way in. "Why do you think that?"

"The name or that you'll get in?" Chuck asked, turning his head to the side to meet her gaze.

Anna shrugged. "Both."

Nodding thoughtfully, Chuck tried to put into words what he was thinking. "Well on the first count, simply put…you're their type." Anna lifted her eyebrow but Chuck continued. "You come from money, you're smart and I don't mean in the obvious way I mean in the way that you can discern just about anything, you're high profile, and you've got insane connections."

Anna's face was already beginning to heat up but Chuck wasn't near done.

"Now for why I think they'll name you Catherine Earnshaw? If they do their research - which they always do - they'll realize the similarities. Looks play a factor, they always do, but past that -" Chuck said as he placed his palms flat on the table to prepare himself for what he'd say next. "Cathy was faced with quite the choice in Wuthering heights; she had to choose between Edward, the guy everyone thought she should be with - the one society said was right, or Heathcliff - the one her heart had chosen." He looked at her pointedly. "Something you're all too familiar with."

Anna's heart was pounding as she stared at Chuck unblinkingly. She wanted to say something, make some comment but she was frozen solid.

Chuck lessened the intensity of his gaze but did not look away. "I'm of course referring to your decision between Jackson and Diego."

"Of course." Anna spoke, knowing her voice was breathy as her heart called into question the truth of Chuck's last statement. Something in her told her that it had a double meaning.

Breathing deeply Chuck continued to force himself to meet her gaze. "Not to mention, Cathy's daughter is her spitting image, though not actually her. All things considered, you share quite a bit in common."

Blushing furiously, Anna looked away. She couldn't believe Chuck had said some of what he had said. When he'd spoken it had been clear what he'd meant in relation to the choice. It may have sounded like he was referencing her choice between Diego and Jackson but hours later as she approached her dorm room she'd become more certain than ever that he'd been referencing the coming choice between Diego and Chuck, himself.

She'd stayed over at Chuck's longer than was allocated by their rules but nothing had happened, they'd been perfect ladies and gentlemen, she'd just been a little too shaky and wound up to head back. Of course he'd insisted the limo drive her back and she was glad he had, she wouldn't have wanted to take a cab so late at night.

Entering her dorm room, she saw a jewelry box placed in front of a fresh bouquet of fuchsia peonies on the table. She shouldn't be surprised after all Chuck was Chuck, when he said he'd deliver he delivered but this was big even for him. Opening the box she could help the slight gasp that escaped her lips. The necklace was truly magnificent and it must have cost a small fortune. If it had been anyone else, she would have felt as though she owed them something major, but for some reason with Chuck she didn't. She knew he wouldn't lord it over her or ask for something in return, at least not in a serious manner. Even Diego would have required more from her but with Chuck, Anna truly felt as though she could simply accept his help and that would be the end of it

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A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! And as always, PLEASE review :)

xoxo  
kate


	23. Highway to the Disaster Zone

**So I know you aren't expecting another chapter so soon but I have bad news to accompany it. Unfortunately I'm going to be going on a much needed hiatus for the next few weeks. The end of the semester is here and I can't balance fanfics and all my school work and interviews. However this chapter is my gift to you until then. **

I've added photos of** The Fellows, Riley, The Heartsong necklace, a map of Columbia, and the girl's dresses for this chapter. **It's all under The Reality They Live With.

A huge thanks to **britanic77, QueenBee10, AquarianAir, ladychrysanthemum, HarryPotterfanforeverr123, xoxogg4lifexoxo, ggloverxx19, Krazy4Spike, CarolinaGirl21, LovelyLydia, Sw33tHeart21, chairlovforever, LitPrincess2787, mara29, ggff-fan, cordeliamarie, SouthernBelle88, GGfanficfan09, jamieerin, **and** Lyakia. **Your reviews to this chapter were fantastic and thank you for the many suggestions you gave of what you want to see in your reviews and pms. Some of you will see a few of them incorporated into this chapter but for the most part they will show up after this as I had already written this chapter. Keep the suggestions coming!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Thanks as always to my fabulous beta **ggff-fan.**

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Alejandro Gutierrez paced smoothly across his office. His little brother was fast becoming a thorn in his side; it was a thorn he needed to remove before it caused an infection. Part of him had always envied his brother though he was loathe to admit it. Diego had always been their father's favorite. No matter what he'd done to gain attention or make his father proud, Diego had always been the shinning star. Now when Alex finally had the business under his thumb he wasn't going to let his nuisance of a brother come in and snatch it out from under him.

The problem lay in the fact that he knew very little about Diego. He hadn't spent much time around the kid since they'd moved to Texas - leaving him here in charge almost seven years ago; Diego had been thirteen at the time, he'd been twenty. Now his younger brother had come back a man; a man who was very much a threat to his regime. He wouldn't let Diego take what he'd worked so hard to gain, he'd do whatever he had to.

Calling for one of his men, Alex concluded that he had inadvertently stumbled upon an idea. According to Diego he didn't want the business but if he didn't then he had to want something, he had to have a weakness. If Alex could find that weakness, he could exploit it or at very least use it to threaten Diego until he stood in line. After all Alejandro knew the importance of family, there was nothing more important and he needed a strong second - Diego could be that, he just had to draw him into the fold.

Viper seemed to snake into the room, much as his name commanded. "What's up boss?" He asked presenting himself as requested.

Alex practically snarled. "I need you to stay close to Diego, find his weakness. And while you're at it, keep him busy."

Viper nodded. "Should I start now? I'm about to head out on assignment - the boy could come."

Alex nodded. "I'll make the call."

* * *

Diego practically growled as he snapped his phone closed. Shit, shit, shit. He was supposed to be off tonight; he'd promised Anna that he'd have the night to spend just with her. But Alex had seemingly become obsessed with "including him." Technically he was only getting what he asked for but this wasn't what he had meant. He hadn't wanted Alex making shady decisions behind his back, but he didn't want to be expected to be so involved in assignments. Not to mention Alex seemed to love to spring them on him at every turn.

Turning to face Anna, who'd been waiting patiently a few feet down the hallway, he grimaced.

Instantly Anna's heart dropped. Diego was canceling on her again. This was the third time in just the past few days. On Wednesday it had been him ditching their dinner plans, Thursday he hadn't shown up in the morning to go over to Staten Island with her for the day, and then tonight he was canceling on her for date night. Her fall break was almost over and it seemed as though it had been filled by meetings with the Fellows and canceled dates with Diego. On the plus side of the cancelations it'd given her ample time to complete each of the Fellows tasks and now all that remained was Nate's and the final task before admittance as a new member. "Again?" She asked, doing her best to hide her irritation.

Reaching out Diego ran a hand along her cheek. "I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you I promise."

Anna sighed. "I'll call and cancel the reservation," she pulled her phone from her purse, pausing to glance at him, "just go." She knew she sounded angry but quite honestly she was tired of being ditched. Diego had promised that he wouldn't be this involved in the business but now he was becoming completely sucked in. At the same time she didn't want to sound like the needy girlfriend. Reaching up she placed a quick kiss on his lips. Pulling away she smiled. "I love you. Now go."

Diego exhaled, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I love you too."

As Diego turned and left Anna leaning back against the wall of her dorm hallway. What was she supposed to do now? The past few days, every time Diego had ditched her she'd done something for the Fellows but there was nothing left to do there until Nate got back from Greece so he could administer his test. Knowing that it was going to be a boring night if she stayed in she thought about the people she could get in touch with and only one seemed to be plausible.

Smiling to herself, Anna got out her phone and called a number she probably shouldn't. Her smile grew as she heard him answer the phone.

"Annabelle, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Chuck spoke, the smirk clear in his voice.

Anna couldn't help the rush of endorphins she felt, just listening to his voice. The low timbre had her entire body in a frenzy, causing her to be a little bolder than she might have been under other circumstances. "Pick your favorite movie that you think I need to see and come over. . . I'm bored."

Chuck laughed lowly sensing yet another challenge a la Annabelle. "Your wish is my command Princess. I'll be there in an hour."

Smiling Anna forced control in her voice. "Don't disappoint Bass."

"I never do." He responded a hint of seduction slipping into his voice unwittingly. He hung up the phone and felt the urge to rush straight over, calculating just how fast he could get there but the old Chuck Bass, the one from so long ago, managed to take control and remind him that while he didn't want to keep her waiting he wouldn't be getting there early either. No, he'd arrive exactly an hour from now.

Anna found herself unable to keep from being excited, though she knew the excitement she was feeling wasn't the kind she should be feeling about Chuck. She should be pouting that Diego had canceled, instead she found herself almost relieved. This wasn't right, she loved Diego, but for some reason the opportunity to spend time with Chuck held the promise of so much more.

Ignoring her feelings, she dialed the number of the Indian restaurant that she and Diego had made reservations at. "Hello, this is Annabelle Carmichael-Getty, I have a reservation at six." Nodding her head to herself she waited for the maître d' to look up her reservation. "I know this is an unusual request but can I have that delivered? I'm willing to pay a catering fee." Smiling to herself, Anna knew she'd gotten what she wanted. "Wonderful, forty five minutes is perfect." As she hung up the phone Anna smirked to herself, the food would be set up before Chuck arrived, the timing was going to be ideal.

Chuck smirked as he knocked on the door to Anna's dorm room. He hadn't been inside since the day she'd moved in because it would have left them "alone together" – a violation of their rules.

"Impeccable timing." Anna noted with a smile as she opened the door.

Chuck smirked. "I aim to please." Walking into her dorm, he was hit by a wave of delicious scents and looked at her discerningly. "Is that Tabla?" He asked citing what had become the trendiest Indian restaurant as of late.

Immediately laughing, Anna closed the door. "No no no, I learned my lesson after being seen at Marquee when it was the "trendiest" club. This is from Dawat, the soon to be hippest Indian restaurant in midtown."

Though his face still held a smirk, Chuck's eyes were smiling in appreciation. "So it seems. I must say I approve. I haven't even managed to make it to Dawat yet. I thought they didn't deliver."

Anna smirked as she walked to where the caterer had set the food on the table that normally contained flowers. "They don't but for me they made an exception. Help yourself."

Chuck simply shook his head in admiration as he walked with her to where the food was almost elaborately displayed and began to place a variety of items from the expansive selection on his plate. He didn't say anything, he didn't feel as though he had to.

Anna walked to where she'd set her own plate down on her bed and took a seat, crossing her legs as she pulled her plate onto her lap. "So what movie did you pick?"

Chuck smirked as he walked to her. "What do you think?"

Pursing her lips, Anna tilted her head in thought. "I'm thinking action, something like The Departed."

Chuck nodded, coming to stand before her, one hand behind his back holding the film. "You're warm."

Anna's eyes were glittering as they met his. She could feel their usual banter settling in and it made her smile. "With a psychological twist, something that makes you think, something like Inception."

"Now, you're hot." Chuck spoke, his voice a low rumble as he moved, bending dangerously close to her.

Anna smirked and placed a hand on his arm that wasn't holding his food. "I'm always hot." Sliding her hand down his arm she followed it behind his back where she latched on to the DVD case. Leaning to where her lips were almost touching his she spoke lowly. "As for the movie, it's Fight Club." As she spoke she whipped the DVD around and grinned because of course she was right.

Chuck shook his head and smirked as she leaned back on the bed away from him. "You know me too well."

And even though Anna knew that that statement should have been untrue since it felt as though she hardly knew anything about Chuck, she didn't contradict him. Somewhere in her gut she felt like his statement was true, like she really knew Chuck in a way that she didn't know anyone else.

* * *

It was about halfway through the movie when Chuck noticed Anna's eyes fluttering closed. He said nothing knowing the tests from the Fellows had been tiring her out as of late. He'd received a message from Fitz yesterday informing him that there was an initiation within the next few weeks so clearly she'd been succeeding splendidly if Fitz was already scheduling her initiation.

Sighing Chuck thought back to the conversation that occurred post-message when he'd called Fitz.

"_Bass?" Fitz questioned as he answered his cell. "You never call, not unless it's serious."_

_Chuck smirked, for someone so in control of their emotions he knew that Fitz was constantly thrown by him. "Do you want to tell me why I had no idea she'd been tapped when she's about to be initiated?" _

_Sighing Fitz was hit with realization. "So I am in trouble, huh?" Pausing momentarily Fitz took that as a yes. "Well if it helps we only tapped her Tuesday night but she's destroyed the tasks. She did the first faster than you did, faster than even I did. It was incredible." _

_Chuck couldn't help the pride that swelled within him; of course Anna had killed the tasks. "Yet still the question remains – why was I not informed?" _

"_The collective thought it best if we waited to see how she passed the test. We aren't ignorant to her looks Chuck, we didn't want to upset you." Fitz explained, pausing, his next words spoken with a hint of uncertainty. "You know Blair was a legacy. I think that's what drew eyes to Anna. She'd met a few of the Fellows, each were enchanted to say the least. She was mentioned at one meeting and it wasn't a day before we were tapping her." _

_Chuck sighed, none of that had been a surprise to him – he'd completely expected the connection to Blair followed by the push by a few members. "I'd almost forgotten she was a legacy." Chuck admitted truthfully. Blair's mom was a Whitney and several of her mother's relations had been in the Fellows. Sudden realization swept through him. "That's why she was given the Heartsong as her task." He spoke anger beginning to seep into his voice. _

"_That's why she was given the Heartsong." Fitz responded in affirmation. Each of the Fellows had their one initiation item that they had to obtain – the third task. At their initiation it would be presented back to them to be worn as a Fellow whenever and wherever they wanted until their death at which time it reverted back to the Fellows, unless a special circumstance arose – like a wedding present from a Whitney to a Vanderbilt. For Legacy's it always had something to do with their family, everyone else it was a draw._

The rest of the conversation had come to a quick close as Chuck had all the information he needed to know. His suspicions that Nate was involved in her tapping had intensified as they wouldn't have tasked Anna with the Heartsong without Nate's okay – it was one of his family's heirlooms too. So either Nate was fooling them all with a façade that he wasn't interested in Anna when he really was or he was fooling himself.

So instead of waking her, he simply watched her sleep as his mind wandered. When her head fell against his shoulder after a few minutes he smiled. Just that simple contact seemed to send electricity flowing through him - it was unbelievable that anyone other than Blair could make him feel like that.

Bringing his lips down he pressed a soft kiss on her forehead as he slid his arms around her, relishing the way she felt curled against his body. His movement sparked a restlessness in her as she began to shift, curling into him until she was wrapped tightly within his arms. Burying his face in her hair Chuck drowned himself in her, allowing her very essence to creep into his senses.

Breathing deeply he felt himself slipping under as well and he didn't fight it because for the first time in a very long time, he felt completely content.

* * *

Diego was surprised when he approached Anna's room to find that she'd left her door unlocked. He'd been trying her cell but she wasn't answering, so he'd immediately believed she was either asleep or a little angrier at him than he'd originally guessed. But she clearly wasn't asleep, she wouldn't have left the door unlocked.

Thankful he'd picked up a movie from redbox and apology flowers on the way, he opened the door slowly, lightly knocking as he did. "Anna?" He called, confused by the boxes of food scattered across the table with no Anna in direct sight. His senses were on high alert as he moved forward, something felt off here. Seeing a man's jacket draped over a chair next to the door, his instincts shot upwards.

Walking further into the room he felt panic rise inside of him, the sounds of Fight Club no more than a hum in his ears, as he spotted them. Anna and Chuck were laying on the bed, propped up with her head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped protectively around her. Both of them were asleep. Shaking, Diego moved back to the door which he slammed loud enough to wake anyone on the hall, certainly enough to wake his girlfriend and her "guest."

Anna shot up from the bed, her eyes immediately meeting Diego's own furious ones. _Shit_ she whispered to herself, she hadn't even known she'd fallen asleep much less in what appeared to be a compromising situation. She felt Chuck moving beside her but her eyes didn't leave Diego's.

"Shit's right, Anna." Diego spoke slinging the flowers he'd brought against the wall.

Straightening his shirt, Chuck ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "Look man, it's not what it looks like, we fell asleep."

Diego rolled his eyes. "It seems that I've heard that phrase a lot when it comes to the two of you. Funny how it's always exactly what it looks like."

For the first time since Diego's entrance Anna's expression changed from one of panic to one of confusion. "What are you talking about?" She asked, brows furrowed. As she spoke, she found herself acutely aware of the fact that Chuck's hand was currently resting on the small of her back. She felt the need to arch away as it was sending a constant flow of energy through her body but at the same time she didn't want to.

Setting his jaw Diego groaned. "I'm referring to the fact that every time I walk in on the two of you you're engaging in an intimate moment and every time you explain it away like I don't know what I've seen, like I don't know the truth. Like that night at Marquee back in August, I'd been watching you for ten minutes before I said anything. And those weekly lunch dates of yours, you can't possibly think I haven't noticed that by now."

Beside him he heard Anna gasp but Chuck simply shrugged. What could he say, it was true. He'd been working diligently over the past few months to steal Anna out from under Diego's nose. There was no reason to deny it now.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Anna asked, her voice nothing but air.

Diego shook his head, anger continuing to course through his body. "Because I fucking love you Anna. I didn't want to lose you, didn't want to chase you away by smothering you or acting like the jealous boyfriend who doesn't let you have other friends…but this is crossing the line." He said gesturing at the two of them.

Anna exhaled, running a hand through her hair. "Nothing happened, we were watching Fight Club and fell asleep." As she spoke she arched away from Chuck's hand, shifting to where he was no longer touching her. She needed to have a clear head for this conversation and if Chuck was touching her that wasn't possible.

Diego felt himself relaxing, felt his temper ebbing away but one look at the smug smirk on Chuck's face had it rearing back up. "What I don't understand is what the fuck he was doing here in the first place?" Diego asked, his voice barely under control.

Indignation filled Anna as she rolled forward onto her knees to be on Diego's level - she wasn't about to look up at him for this. Jabbing her finger she emphasized her words. "YOU are the one who canceled on ME! YOU had better things to do than the date WE had planned! Therefore, YOU don't get judge what I do instead!"

Chuck looked between them, wondering then if he was witnessing the very thing he'd been waiting for; but one look at Anna as she gestured vehemently he knew that now wasn't the time. She was too passionate, too hurt. He straightened his spine reflexively as his stomach clenched. He couldn't deny that he didn't like the fact that she cared so much about Diego, he wanted to believe that she didn't but Anna had a life before him, one he still knew very little about - Diego was part of that life.

Diego's face seemed to fall as all the fight went out of him. "I don't want to do this. I don't want to fight with you Anna."

Anna relaxed back on her heels, exhaling. "I don't want to fight with you either."

"I'm sorry for canceling . . . Again." He spoke sincerely. "I don't want to but I don't know what else to do, my brother keeps calling me in and I'm scared of what he'll do if I'm not there. You don't understand how dangerous he is and I am at least some kind of a threat to him, enough that if I say so he might not let someone get killed."

The slight tremble in his voice was enough to let Anna know how serious he was, as well as how hard this had truly been for him. Diego seemed to be breaking down right in front of her, his defenses crumbling as words he'd sworn to keep from her poured out. Slipping off the bed she walked over and wrapped her arms around him. "It's okay, I promise it's okay."

Continuing to sit there Chuck realized that he was about to need to help himself out in this situation - clearly things between Anna and Diego were going to be okay if only for now - he was going to have to do some recovery though. Diego wasn't going to want him to be around Anna so he was going to have to do something to prove he could be trusted. An idea began to take shape in his head just as he needed it.

Anna met Diego's gaze. "But that doesn't mean you get to dictate who my friends are. I'm sorry things with Chuck got carried away a few times but I chose you; I'm always going to choose you."

"I don't trust him." Diego spoke, his voice low as he made eye contact with a now standing Chuck over Anna's shoulder.

Chuck shrugged. "Don't you remember what you told me that night at Marquee? You don't have to trust me, only her." Crossing his arms Chuck walked up to where the two were still partially embracing. "Besides I have an idea - why don't we go on a double date?"

Anna's eyebrows shot into her forehead, this sounded like an awful idea. There was a distinct clenching in her stomach, one she told herself was because this could only end poorly not because she hated the thought of Chuck with another girl. "I don't know."

Diego looked at Anna curiously before meeting Chuck's gaze. "What do you propose?" He asked finding himself immensely curious as to what exactly Chuck was thinking right now. A whole evening of Anna and Diego rubbed in his face was suicide on Chuck's part, unless he thought that he was going to be the one rubbing someone else in Anna's face. It was an interesting conundrum and honestly Diego wanted to do it because he wanted Anna to see the womanizer buried inside of Chuck.

"The Opera of course." Chuck said with a smirk as though it was the only answer in the world.

Diego recoiled slightly but not before he caught the look of awe on Anna's face.

Anna almost sighed. "I've always wanted to go to the New York Opera, the Magic Flute is playing right now."

Chuck nodded. "So it's settled then. I'll get tickets for tomorrow night."

Diego and Anna both simply nodded and as Chuck excused himself and slipped out, neither could quite discern just what they might have gotten themselves in to.

* * *

"I still can't believe you told the girl at the café we were newlyweds." Serena said drawing a peel of laughter from Nate.

Nate just shook his head as the cab approached his building. "I couldn't think of anything else and I'd forgotten my wallet, what was I supposed to do?"

Serena shrugged. "I don't know, dine and dash maybe but that story was ridiculous." Even though she was laughing and making fun of what Nate had done as they grabbed dinner on the way to the airport in Greece, at the time her heart had gone into overload. She would have given anything for it to have been the truth.

Nate rolled his eyes, tilting his head slowly in her direction and smiling his trademark smile. "It worked didn't it."

"I suppose it did." Serena responded, returning his smile. She reached over placing a hand on his knee. "Thank you for coming with me."

Nate nodded noting the suddenly serious tone of the conversation. "I love Trinity like she's mine, you know that."

Serena nodded. "You're always going to be Uncle Nate to her."

"I can't believe how big she's gotten." Nate spoke wistfully. He'd watched her grow up, sent presents on every holiday and visited at every opportunity and sometimes it was difficult knowing that she was never going to be part of their lives. She would grow up thinking that Serena was her sister and calling him Uncle Nate. Trinity wasn't his daughter but the paternal feelings he felt for her were still strong.

Squeezing Nate's knee Serena smiled. "We can go visit any time. I'm going again around Thanksgiving and I'd love your company."

Looking at Serena Nate saw it in her eyes again. For the majority of the trip she'd been good at keeping her feelings hidden but right now they were as clear as day. Drawing himself back Nate prepared to let her down easy when the cab pulled in front of the curb of his building. Looking out the window he saw the person he least expected to see. "Shit." He muttered under his breath, glancing back at Serena.

Though Nate was trying to block her view, Serena maneuvered until she could see over his shoulder. "What the fuck is he doing here?" Immediately, she was clamoring to get out of the cab leaving Nate to get the luggage and pay for the taxi.

"Serena! SERENA!" Nate shouted as he tried to stop her but it was useless and within seconds she was stalking directly towards Scott.

Jaw locked Serena got closer to Scott than she'd been since the engagement announcement. "Who do you think you are showing up here like this?"

Scott backed up against the wall, he was here to talk to Nate, he'd been waiting for over an hour; Serena had not been part of the plan. He held up his hands in defense. "Whoa, hold your horses, I wasn't expecting you."

"And you think that matters?" Serena replied indignantly. Usually the sight of Scott made her weak but she was done being weak; seeing her daughter - their daughter - had only made her remember how unfair Scott's actions had been. "You aren't wanted here. You aren't wanted anywhere."

Scott felt the flip of his stomach as his very core seemed to recede. It was as though he was losing all his gumption. He spoke as Nate approached, coming to stand behind Serena. "I just wanted to know how she's doing - she's my kid you know. When Lily told me you'd gone to Greece, I knew why. So I found out what time your flight got in and came to ask Nate about her."

Serena ran a hand through her already tangled hair. "Now you want to take responsibility for her? I don't think so." She shook her head vehemently as she shrugged off what she supposed was a comforting hand on her shoulder from Nate. "You don't get to know her, you don't get to be in her life. And if you try to go around me and get to her, I will ruin you."

"I almost told Vanessa." Scott said, his voice small. "When I heard where you were there was a pain in my gut so strong that I almost broke down. She's my daughter Serena, I have a daughter."

This time as Nate placed an arm around her she didn't resist, she needed the support. "You have nothing." She spoke, eyes glittering and voice dangerously low.

Nate pulled Serena to him as he met Scott's gaze. "You need to leave. And it'd be in your best interest to forget Trinity exists because she'll never know that you do."

Jaw fixed and stomach clenching Scott took a step forward. "This isn't over Archibald."

"Damn straight." Nate replied before he led Serena into the building and away from Scott, leaving the bags to the doorman. He needed to get Serena away from Scott, far far away, otherwise he might do something crazy like kill the guy and that would be difficult to explain. Arm still wrapped around Serena, he turned her to face him as they entered the elevator. Brushing her hair back from her face he forced her eyes to meet his. "Are you okay?" He asked sincerely.

Serena pursed her lips before nodding ever so slightly. "Surprisingly yes. And for the first time I really want that bastard to get what's coming to him."

Nate smirked. "Chuck's got that covered." He spoke without thinking.

Pulling back Serena looked at Nate in panic. "Chuck? How does Chuck know about any of this."

Realizing his mistake, Nate was about to lie his way out of it when he remembered something Blair had said a long time ago. They were the Non-Judging Breakfast Club, they were supposed to lean on each other for things like this because they were the only family each other had. And with that memory came the decision to come clean. "He overheard you and Scott at the engagement party; he's working on a plan to take Scott down, one that doesn't involve spilling your secret."

Pursing her lips once more Serena stayed quiet as she digested the information. At first her heart was racing, she was so ashamed of everything, she didn't want anyone knowing; yet at the same time her desire to get Scott back for everything he'd done was growing stronger by the minute. Then there was the thought that it was Chuck. They'd been friends, the four of them, for so long that there wasn't anything they didn't know - if there was one person other than Nate she trusted, it was Chuck. "Okay." She spoke, her voice soft.

Nate looked at her curiously. "Okay?"

Serena simply nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Anna looked in the bathroom mirror one last time, adjusting the neckline of her dress. She watched in the mirror as her gloved hands touched the bare skin of her neck. For a moment she wished she'd chosen one with a high neck so she could have worn her locket but it was much too late for that. She always wanted to touch the locket when she was stressed or felt out of her element - that one piece of jewelry gave her so much strength.

Sighing she allowed her head to drop backwards. This had not been what she'd expected in the least. Chuck's date being the first issue. Until tonight she had never really understood that Michelle and Chuck had been together but tonight had made it obvious and it was much harder to watch than she'd thought. She'd spent the evening trying to focus on Diego but the sound of Chuck whispering in Michelle's ear would draw her attention away in an instant and the knowledge that Chuck's hand was resting on Michelle's knee was a constant distraction. Worst of all was the way he'd meet her eyes every so often, as though to let her know that he was still there, still watching her.

Walking out of the bathroom, she focused on Diego linking arms with him and following his lead to their box seats. The whole purpose of tonight had been to prove that she and Chuck were nothing more than friends; that they were perfectly capable of being in each other's presence without doing anything. Tonight had told her the exact opposite.

Repositioning himself so that he was on the other side of Anna, Chuck moved up the staircase hardly able to keep a smirk off his face. This hadn't been the plan, this double date was supposed to have been his best attempt at keeping his friendship with Anna so that he could continue getting closer to her; that's why he'd brought Michelle, she was the only girl that he thought stood a chance at distracting him from Annabelle. But the moment he'd seen Annabelle in the strapless red Vera Wang she'd donned something came over him.

He'd tried to distract himself with Michelle, but it had been futile from the start. He couldn't keep his eyes or, when given the opportunity, his hands off Annabelle and the tension had grown so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Covertly he slid a hand to the small of her back. To anyone else he knew it appeared as though he was leading her up the stairs but if Anna felt even a fraction of what he did at the simple touch, then to her it meant so much more.

Annabelle forced her eyes to meet Diego's as he spoke about the research he'd done on the Opera, his pride in learning about something she loved shining through; they'd already watched La Boheme and were journeying back to the box for the Magic Flute. She granted him several well kept smiles but all the while she could feel herself trembling from the simple touch of Chuck's hand. Reaching the landing Diego excused himself for a moment to collect a glass of wine.

Left with the reluctant couple Michelle withheld a sigh. She'd been skeptical when Chuck had called; but the more he'd talked the more she'd allowed herself to hope. He'd made it seem as though this double date was the very moment she'd been waiting for, even though she'd claimed she was over him. He'd promised this was all about friendship and moving on and showing everyone that he'd really put the past in the past. Honestly she thought that had been his intention but she could see right through him now.

At first she'd tried to play along with him but even as they whispered and touched she could see that as much as his head might want it his heart certainly wasn't in it as he almost unconsciously looked to Anna at every moment. Michelle watched the covert glances, the occasional touches, and the sweaty palms that came with the heat and intensity that she knew they were feeling. Her stomach turned as Diego excused himself, she didn't want to be alone with them.

Backing up slightly she watched as Chuck helped Anna into her seat, she watched as Anna shot him a look filled with questions, and she watched as his look in return was full of fire. Michelle observed them as they sat there frozen, gazes locked. The feeling she felt deep in her stomach was one she hadn't expected. Her heart wasn't breaking so something told her that she'd known all along that this would happen; instead she felt regret for coming and anger for Chuck that he continued to lie to himself.

Anna couldn't seem to look away as Chuck stood next to her chair, a hand on her arm. There were tingles running throughout her body as she seemed to go numb. The place where their skin connected was on fire. She couldn't seem to shake the feeling that the entire earth had just shifted, that something was finally coming together. She was lost for that moment, the noise around them was fuzzy and blurred, it was just them. She was shaking as she felt Chuck move nearer to her. All she wanted in that moment was him, she had the sensation that if her lips could meet his in that moment than everything would be as it should.

Chuck didn't know where he was, didn't know what he was doing. All he could see was her, sitting in front of him, looking up at him and in that moment it was all enough. Everything he'd missed, everything he'd wanted for the past two years was here and could be his. He couldn't have moved if he'd wanted to and God he didn't want to. Watching as she tilted her chin upwards Chuck moved in. Within that moment their lips would have met if a cough hadn't come from nearby.

Looking up instantly Anna and Chuck's eyes landed on Michelle who was standing there arms crossed in front of her. Chuck straightened and moved toward her, compassion filling his eyes as he realized what he'd almost done. He'd been an asshole for bringing Michelle here tonight, this wasn't right and he should have known it. "I'm sorry." He tried, knowing Michelle was perceptive, knowing she wouldn't let him get by with what she'd just seen and he honestly owed her an apology.

"Don't." Michelle spoke, her voice flat. Uncrossing her arms, she gesticulated as she continued. "This perverse idea of a double date is done, it's over. All of it is. I should tell her everything, maybe then she'd realize just what she was getting herself into; just how messed up you all are." She spoke taking an angry step towards the couple.

Chuck's eyes alit with a very different kind of fire from the passion they'd shown moments before when looking at Anna. "Keep out of this Chelle."

Michelle laughed darkly as she shook her head. "You're the one who involved me by bringing me here on this date or whatever the fuck this is. You're sick Chuck." She paused her voice leaking compassion for one brief moment. "You're sick and you need help." She heard Anna exhale loudly as Chuck seethed but she didn't care. "I can't give you the kind of help you need" She spoke exhaling herself as her gaze drifted to Anna. "And neither can she." With that Michelle turned and walked off heels clicking loudly on the marble.

Chuck didn't try to stop her. He probably couldn't have moved in that moment out of sheer shock but even if he could he didn't know what he'd say. Surprise hit him once more when Anna shot around him, chasing after Michelle. Reaching out he tried to catch her but her hand slipped through his fingers as she followed Michelle. Terror gripped his chest there was so much Michelle knew that could send the house of cards they'd all built tumbling down around them.

Anna watched as Michelle slipped into the very bathroom she'd come out of only ten minutes before. Chasing after her, she entered only a minute later.

As the door opened, Michelle glanced away from the mirror and looked at the girl who'd just entered even though it wasn't necessary. Leaning on one arm she turned to face the girl who looked so much like Chuck's dead lover. "What do you want?" She asked, trying to keep the malice out of her voice, this wasn't Anna's fault; other than Chuck, the blame was hers alone.

Anna lifted one shoulder then the other, straightening her spine. "I wanted to check on you, make sure you were okay."

Michelle couldn't help the laughter that eased from her. "This was no one's fault but my own. I should have known better this time."

Anna looked at her curiously but didn't question her further. "It wasn't what you think, there's nothing going on between me and Chuck."

Shaking her head as she looked down, Michelle worked to hold back further laughter. "You really have no clue what you've gotten yourself into." Anna looked as though she would respond but Michelle wasn't done. "You can deny the truth of what I said but that doesn't change anything because you're blinded by him. He puts up a good show doesn't he? You almost wouldn't see it but if you haven't yet you will soon. He's broken Anna, he's broken deep inside his soul and that's not changing - not now, not ever."

Anna shook her head. "You don't know what you're talking about." Though even as she uttered the words she could feel a tinge of doubt seeping in. She'd seen the careful way his friends regarded Chuck - as though at any moment a switch might flip - and she'd seen moments where he'd lost it, moments he was sure that she was Blair. But she refused to believe that he was actually broken.

Michelle smirked. "You're a nice girl Anna and Diego seems to be head over heels in love with you. But right now you're playing with a fire so hot that you can't possible walk away unscathed." Pausing as she pushed off from the counter and walked closer to Anna, Michelle thought about what words she would say next. "You're going to get burned Anna, there's no going back now. He's not going to give you up, not when you are so much like her." And with that Michelle brushed past her towards the door. Just as she was about to open it, it swung inward and her eyes met Chuck's. Simply shaking her head she stalked away.

Anna spun around to where Chuck was now standing in Michelle's place. Looking at him curiously the emotions that filled her were too numerous to count or begin to identify.

Chuck reached behind him and locked the bathroom door; he didn't want to be interrupted. Without another word Chuck crossed the room to where she was now standing, pulling her body flush to his and capturing her lips with his own in one swift motion.

Anna didn't try to fight him; her body wouldn't have obeyed even if her mind had said otherwise. Something about tonight had changed everything and for some reason Michelle's words had lit a fire within her that was raging as Chuck's lips pressed to her own. She couldn't help it. There was an inexplicable need in her to have Chuck, to taste him, to be with him and fighting it was so hard, it was so damn hard. Her body instantly responded to the sensations rolling through her, causing her to tremble and grasp at the back of his shirt, holding on for dear life. The second their lips had touched, she was a goner. The simple taste had sent her entire body into a frenzy. She began kissing him with a fervor that she couldn't begin to comprehend. Every part of her wanted to touch him, to taste him. Damn the consequences, she never wanted to stop touching him.

Desire crackled in the air around them and their kisses became urgent, almost violent. His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her into him and she complied, snuggling closer to him as his hands began to roam over her body, taking liberty to explore what had been kept from him for so long. Chuck ran his hands down her sides, brushing her breasts, feeling the curve of her waist, her hips. He pulled back slightly, only to move his mouth down from hers to her neck, his kryptonite.

As he moved to her neck, Anna reached up with one hand and pulled a pin out of her hair, causing it to fall down in waves around her shoulders. Chuck looked back up, mesmerized as she made movement to remove her opera gloves. Chuck met her gaze and took her arm. Without words he spoke to her _Allow me, _as he began to slowly remove her glove, kissing every inch of skin he uncovered. Anna could hardly breathe; every kiss of his lips, every newly exposed piece of skin burned at his touch. Who knew that the removal of a single glove could be so electrifying, so tantalizing. Chuck smirked at her as he heard her began to moan; yet he did not rush. He removed the other glove in the same agonizingly slow manner, dropping both of them to the ground.

Hands were everywhere, roaming over each other, unbuttoning every button, untying every bow, and unzipping every zipper that stood in the way of their bodies touching one another. Unwittingly, Anna's hands found Chuck's head, her fingers twisting in his hair as she kept his mouth on hers. She was losing control of the situation. Hell when it came to Chuck Bass she'd never really had any control; with him she'd never had a chance.

As Anna moaned into his mouth, Chuck hoisted her onto the counter, his hands pushing her tight dress up around her waist, hands running up her stocking clad legs and under her skirt. Relishing the way the fabric bunched and crinkled, not daring to return to its former position. Fingering the band of her La Perla's he began to unhook her garters so that he would have better access as his mouth continued ravaging her neck.

Anna gasped as Chuck hooked his fingers in the band of her panties and began to tug. She felt, more than told, her body to respond as she lifted herself off the counter, allowing him to do as he wished. She was lost in complete oblivion as she reached for his zipper when he spoke.

"God Blair I've forgotten how good you feel." Chuck spoke, his voice husky as he lost himself in the moment and how good it felt with her.

Pulling back Anna pushed him away with both hands. "I'm not Blair." She spoke her voice barely louder than a whisper. Taking an assessment of her surroundings Anna's consciousness came back to her full force. She was half naked, in a bathroom, about to lose her virginity to a man who couldn't even tell her apart from his ex-girlfriend. Her eyes couldn't meet his as she yanked her underwear back up, embarrassment filling her to her very core.

Realizing his mistake, Chuck reached out a hand watching as Anna forced her dress back down. "Anna, please don't leave. I'm sorry I just got lost in the moment." Chuck paused trying to meet her eyes as they flitted about while she straightened her clothing. "Like that time in the park." He spoke softly as he placed a hand on the side of her face.

Finally, Anna forced her eyes to meet his but what she saw there bothered her. The intensity of the look Chuck was giving her was utterly terrifying in a way she couldn't even begin to describe. What if Michelle had been right about Chuck, what if there was really something so wrong with him that he would never come back from it. It was in that moment as she looked into his eyes, his hand on the side of her face that she realized that somewhere inside she'd been thinking that eventually she and Chuck would be together; not now when she was with Diego but eventually, once things with Diego had run their course.

"This is right Annabelle." Chuck spoke his voice soft yet insistent. "You know it's right, I know you do." Both his hands were grasping the sides of her face, staring into her eyes with an intensity she'd never seen before. "Be with me."

Anna could feel herself being drawn in, drawn in so tightly that she was losing herself again. And then it snapped, realization flooded through her as though a dam had burst. All of her emotions were set free at the same time, it was too much and at the end of it all there was one thing she was certain of, she still loved Diego and he was waiting for her. "I can't do this." Anna spoke jerking back, away from Chuck's touch.

Chuck had seen it in her eyes before she'd even spoken but there was nothing he could do to fix it, he couldn't push her any harder.

Anna shook her head as she moved back. "I'm not saying Michelle was right. I'm really not but I think you need to evaluate if it's me you want or Blair because if it's me then we have a long road ahead of us, if it's still her then that's something you have to deal with. So tell me now, tell me how you feel."

You, I want you Annabelle. That's all he had to say and he wanted to say something, anything to stop her from leaving. "Don't go." He spoke his voice soft, that was all he could manage.

Anna shook her head, sending her curls flying. "Why? Give me a reason . . . And "I'm Chuck Bass" doesn't count."

Her words sent a tingle down his spine, one of such an intense familiarity that he couldn't grasp what was happening. In that moment he was back in the Hamptons with Blair as she asked for a reason to stay instead of leaving with Marcus. The words couldn't have been more similar if she'd read from a script. Chuck was shaking as he opened his mouth. "Because you don't want to. Because I don't want you to. Because that's all there is that's all that matters." He spoke trying to get to the crux of what she wanted him to say like he hadn't done the first time.

Still shaking her head Anna took one step closer; when she spoke she had no idea that her next words would throw him, no idea that she was deviating from a script he knew by heart. "I already told you what I need you to say Chuck. And you can't do it." Sighing she took a step away. "I'm sorry but I can't risk everything on you when you don't really know what you want." She could see Chuck trying to say something, trying to form words but it didn't matter, she had to go.

Chuck stood there trembling, completely shell shocked as Anna turned and fled the bathroom. For one brief moment he'd completely believed that the woman standing in front of him was Blair Waldorf. For that moment there'd been no other explanation. Her words had been the same, he would have sworn they were the same; but then they weren't. Then she said something else and he didn't have a response.

Pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes Chuck tried to focus, tried to bring himself back to the present because right now his mind was blown. His entire head was spinning and he couldn't seem to find a way to cope with it all. The one thought that was still ringing clear in his mind was that Blair Waldorf or not he wanted Annabelle as much as he ever wanted anything and he might have just fucked it all up.

**Gossip girl present and accounted for at the NYC Opera where I witnessed quite the scene amongst our oldest friends. It looked like a double date with DG paired with A and C paired with M - someone I thought was out of the picture all together. Looks like I wasn't wrong as it wasn't long before she went fleeing the scene of the crime. The question is what crime? Sources say there was an altercation of sorts that sent A running off with Diego all the way back to HIS dorm and leaving C all by his lonesome. Don't worry C, it's only a matter of time, what girl could ever resist your affections? I know I couldn't.**

**xoxo  
gossip girl **

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**So I hope this was a satisfactory addition for those of you craving more Chuck/Anna interaction as well as those of you wanting more of Blair to come out in Anna. **

**Questions, concerns, suggestions, reviews? All are appreciated :)**

**xoxo - kate**


	24. The Lies We Hear and The Truth We Don't

Okay everyone I know I promised a What We Don't Remember update (may still happen tonight or tomorrow) BUT I received a request for the next chapter of this fic from **Aquarian Air **so you guys can all thank her.

This came from a review reply and I feel like it's actually something that would benefit you all to hear concerning Anna and Chuck and what they are feeling so - - - There's like a line that is getting really blurry for Anna, but there's also one for Chuck. Anna's memories are starting to bleed through but it's more in her thoughts than any actual memories. It's like feelings and emotions and words that are just there and she says them because she doesn't realize that she's remembering things she thinks she is just thinking of them. It's similar but different for Chuck. His line is more this line between what's real and what isn't and the more Anna's line becomes blurry the more his does as well. Because the more Anna is like Blair the more it confuses Chuck's psyche. As you'll continue to see when she says things or does things that Blair did Chuck's mind can't handle it - this is going to become clear quickly. On that note I apologize for the lack of Chuck/Anna in this chapter but you'll see there are other redeeming qualities – and I promise another update soon.

To my reviewers: **ladychrysanthemum, QueenBee10, emmaknightely12, Krazy4Spike, lovley-thalia, CarolinaGirl21, AquarianAir, cordeliamarie, Lyakia, LitPrincess2787, Crisz, LovelyLydia, HarryPotterfanforeverr123, jamieerin, annablake, Kimi, BellaB2010,** and** Wailuku**

Huge thanks to **ggff-fan** for being the best beta ever!

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**Chapter 24  
The Lies We Hear and The Truth We Don't**

Diego crossed his arms in front of him and forced his face to remain a mask of steel. He couldn't allow the other guys to see what he was really feeling; the disgust, the anger, the shame, and most of all, the fear. They were on an assignment, which was nothing unusual as of late. In fact he was being called on an assignment almost every single day.

Today was worse than most. Most days it was simply: go on a drug deal, collect a payment, maybe a little protection detail. Progressively things had been getting more heated. Extortion, money laundering, cocaine deliveries, and tonight there was rumor of a fight going down. There was a war brewing from the Five Points all the way to the West Side. The old rivalries were reemerging and it was only a matter of time before things came to a head. Things had quieted over the past thirty years, Diego had been raised in a time of relative peace; but if something didn't happen soon the fire would be reignited.

For as long as New York had existed so had the gangs. It was the only way the entering immigrants knew to survive. Early American history was intertwined with that of the gangs, as was the American government. The Gilded Age had been a thinly disguised golden age of the various families and through Prohibition the activities had only risen. No one was elected that one of the gangs didn't have a part of. Then came the sixties where the national government became so linked with organized crime that the line between CIA and the families became blurred, leading to the crackdown.

The rise of the modern gangs had been building steadily. The Five Families still existed with the Genovese Family still on top and the Irish Mob had been slowly rebuilding themselves after their destruction. But the Puerto Rican Families of consequence were gone, with the Gutiérrez family (who'd come to be known as the Brigade) rising in their stead. The time of peace between the families was coming to a close; the Commission was dead and everyone was beginning to step on one another's toes. Territory lines were blurred or gone altogether and everyone was beginning to want what one another had. And tonight was rumored to be the beginning of what could be the largest war the underground had ever seen.

Diego knew they were operating well into the jurisdiction of one of the Irish Families; it hadn't been a problem when their actions had been more vanilla - Alex on the other hand was calling attention to them in a way that was undesirable at best. The Connelly's were already angry but tonight they were going to become furious. Alejandro had ordered the procurement of a particular property on the West Side and unbeknownst to Diego he'd ordered a hit on James Connelly. Even in the dark about Alejandro's intentions, Diego had a bad feeling about the whole thing. Diego's thoughts were interrupted as he felt an arm sling around his shoulder.

"Man, you have got to lighten up." Lucky spoke, his teasing masking the comforting nature of his words.

Diego shot a grin at the guy next to him. "Hey Eddie." He spoke, his voice genuine as it was with none of the rest of the family. Eddie was the one person he felt comfortable with, the one person he trusted, and the only person he made an effort to stay on a first name basis with, for him it just made it more real.

Eddie smiled in turn, he was Diego's age and they'd been friends once as were their fathers. Eddie's dad had been Diego's dad's guardian so to speak. He stood by him at all cost and had rather mysteriously disappeared not long after Diego's dad had moved to Texas. He'd been on assignment when Diego had arrived and had only recently returned. "Diego." He spoke with a nod of his head, an air of seriousness invading his normally joking tone.

Diego's grin faded as they surveyed the area. Eddie, or Lucky as he was known by the gang, was the one person Diego would be honest with. "So what do you think?"

Eddie's jaw tightened as he tried to hold back his emotions. "I think, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is a bad idea."

Diego nodded, knowing that Eddie didn't simply mean that as emotional support but also physical support. His dad disappearing had been a big deal, bigger than he put on. He'd gone from the son of the VP to the bottom of the food chain almost overnight. He couldn't afford to disagree but with Diego beside him he could. "Let's just get this over with."

Nodding Eddie walked forward shooting a brief glance at Viper who was running the operation. "What now?"

Viper smirked, he was pleased with the way the plan was progressing, never thinking that he'd get so far so fast. After the altercation with Smiley, he'd already known that Diego would do absolutely anything for the girl - Anna. Now he had a sneaking suspicion about Diego's other weakness and tonight he would test them out. Flicking his tongue across his lips in a way that conjured an image of his moniker, Viper smirked looking around at the guys assembled. "This thing is ours."

Watching for the signal Diego braced himself, knowing things were about to get messy. As they began their assault on the building there were only a few moments before the Connelly men showed themselves. Withdrawing his gun, Diego rolled on the ground. His job was simple, make sure none of the Connelly's made it up the staircase, he had no knowledge of the plan from there, only of his specific instructions. Everyone had a job and they'd be much quicker at accomplishing it if they weren't concerned with everyone else.

Diego and Eddie took each other's backs, the way they'd done when playing as children. No one made it near the staircase. As a flood of people began to pour down the staircase, Viper amongst them Diego saw a guy out of the corner of his eye and knew that he was about to take a shot - maybe if his gun had been pointed at one of the other men Diego would have simply ignored it (the Connelly's were better men than most of the Brigade) - but the gun was trained on Eddie. Turning quickly Diego took the shot, his gun firing and the man crumpling to the ground.

The heads of the men snapped towards Diego's shot and Viper sneered; there it was, the very thing he'd been waiting for. Observing the fallen Connelly man who was struggling to rise as Diego had sent a bullet into his hand and a string up his arm, Viper trained his own gun on the man and shot him through the throat. He watched in his periphery as Diego flinched; he narrowed his eyes though he was secretly pleased. "Next time take the kill shot so I don't have to clean up your mess."

Diego didn't say anything, merely grunting lowly. His heart was beating so loudly in his chest and he was clutching his gun tightly trying not to shake. He continued to stand there for a moment even after the men started to leave, trying to get a grip on his fragmented reality. There was so much he couldn't come to terms with, that wasn't the first time he'd shot someone, he was a good shot, but he'd practiced long and hard on the shots that crippled rather than killed and had never screwed up; never once had Diego killed someone or acted out of anything other than self-defense and there was a tightening in his stomach that said that there might soon be an end to that.

"Thanks for having my back man." Eddie spoke, his voice filled with brotherly affection as he clasped Diego to him in a quick bro-hug. He was trying to hide the fact that Diego was shaking, everyone else had born witness to Diego's intentional avoidance of the kill, they didn't need to witness just how much even that was affecting him.

Diego nodded. "I've always got your back man."

Viper grinned as he met Smiley's eyes across the group. Smiley knew of his assignment from Alejandro and was glad to help out after his altercation with Diego after Anna's visit. As the gangster's observed a conversation between Angel and Lucky both knew that it was only a matter of time before Alejandro put the punk in his place and then they'd have the old crew back. That's why Viper was so excited at his new found knowledge, anticipating the moment he would let Alejandro know that he'd found out Diego's weaknesses; Anna Carmichael-Getty and causing others' permanent physical harm.

* * *

Chuck hissed through his teeth as he sifted through the PI's pages in front of him. How was Scott so squeaky clean? It didn't make sense, people who ordinarily did things like what Scott did to Serena were sick and twisted in so many other ways but Scott was the model citizen. In high school he was almost as much of a golden boy as Nate had been and there was no indication apart from a brief disappearance one summer where he and his friends roadtripped across the country that even smelled of rebellion.

Chuck pushed the papers off the table in frustration, Scott was making this more difficult for him than was ideal and all of the time he'd been spending in Scott's presence "making amends" was starting to make him nauseous. But if he couldn't find dirt on Scott he'd just have to use what he knew and take him down.

Leaning back in his chair Chuck took a swig of scotch as the cogs in his mind began to turn. If this was out of character for Scott, if he wasn't normally a womanizing freak, what had possessed him to do such a twisted thing? Serena was his family and if there was one thing Chuck had learned it was that you don't take family for granted, Blair had been his family. Forcing his thoughts away from the ever tempting nostalgia he refocused on Scott. So what made you turn against your family?

He had to sort this out, for this to be so out of character, the motivation must have been something completely overpowering and that would be his weakness. Was it possible that Scott hadn't known yet? No, he'd been the one to seek out Serena, he had to have known. Why would he strike out like that? It was obviously an attack, an extremely personal, destructive attack, but why? And why Serena?

The same thoughts had been running rampant in his head for weeks and he just continued to come back to one word: Jealousy. No matter what other direction his thoughts traveled they always returned to that. He knew jealous well, it was a powerful emotion. He'd done and said many things when he'd been jealous of others; the one that seemed to come to mind the most was when he was jealous of Blair's ability to move on with Nate when he still wanted her during their junior year. He'd almost destroyed her because of it.

Perhaps that was it then, perhaps Scott was jealous that Serena lived the life he never got to live. It wasn't Serena's fault of course but Chuck knew from experience that whose fault it was didn't matter when you were hurting. Maybe Scott even thought that Serena had taken the life she'd had - the one that had been kept from him - for granted. Chuck smirked to himself, knowing that he'd finally nailed it, which meant he knew how to get back at Scott; he'd just take it all away.

His mind began to move quickly now as ideas began to fly. He jotted a few down so as not to forget them, his smirk growing wider. He stopped suddenly when he heard a banging on the door. Standing, notepad still in hand, he walked over and opened it, sliding the notebook behind his back when he saw Serena standing there - he hadn't forgotten Nate's specification that Serena must not find out that he knew. "Serena, what are you doing here?"

Serena's eyes narrowed slightly, over the years she'd gotten pretty good at reading Chuck and she'd seen the slight sense of panic in his eyes when he'd opened the door as well as the notepad he'd moved behind his back. "What are you doing?" She asked, her eyes drifting down towards the half hidden notebook.

"Just school work, Corporate Finance." Chuck spoke, his voice steady, the lie slipping smoothly through his lips.

Serena smiled, her eyebrows lifting. "Really, can I look?" She asked as she reached for the notebook, pulling it from his hands before Chuck could react.

Chuck frowned as he felt the notebook slide from his hands, he had expected Serena to fall for his lie. "Serena. . .don't." He spoke, his voice low.

Serena's eyes fled over the words on the sheet, unsurprised at what she saw. It was of course what she'd been expected and the reason she'd come to see Chuck in the first place. Looking back up at Chuck, her eyes held a serious glint. "Good you've already gotten started."

Furrowing his brow curiously Chuck backed up to allow Serena into the room. "You're not mad?"

Serena shook her head as her jaw locked in place. "No, I want to help."

With that Chuck smirked. "Happy to have you on the team, sis."

* * *

Anna laughed, smiling brightly as her eyes met Eric's. It was so good to have him home. She hadn't realized how close she'd gotten to him in such a short time before he'd gone off to college; now it was finally his fall break and she'd be able to spend a little bit of time with him. There was something about Eric that just let her be herself and be honest in a way that she struggled to do with everyone else. "You know this really isn't funny at all, I don't know why I'm laughing."

"You mean finding that you're potentially falling in love with my step brother when you are in love with a dangerous mobster all while trying to move to NYC, do well in classes, and gain admittance into the most lucrative secret society isn't funny?" Eric smiled, his face lighting up as it tended to do around Anna. "You know in a few years you'll look back on all of this and think about that funny time when you first moved to New York. And I'll be happy to have played even a small role."

Softening her smile, Anna reached forward and placed her hand on Eric's. "Thanks for being so understanding."

Eric nodded. "Of course, I mean it's not like this situation is weird or anything." He spoke delightfully sarcastic. "So go ahead and lay out what happened. Promise I won't call you Blair."

"Ha ha ha, you're funny Van der Woodsen." Anna spoke with narrowed eyes, though the sparkle was still there.

Eric grinned. "So what are you going to do? About the guys I mean."

Anna shook her head, shrugging and sighing in turn. "I still don't know." Inhaling deeply at Eric's inquiring gaze she forced herself to press on, this was her one chance to reveal what she was feeling. She'd told Eric everything about the situation; no one knew about what had happened at the opera with Chuck or how she'd almost given her virginity to Diego that night because she'd been so messed up over the situation - no one but Eric.

Speaking, a rush of air fled her lungs as she let everything pour out. "I love Diego, I know I do. I told you our history, how I denied that we had something for so long and we've both come so far, I've come to depend on him in ways I never dreamed I would. Plus the heat between the two of us, it's like a flash fire each time my eyes meet his. I know who Diego is, I know him like no one knows him and he knows every bit of who I am, the good and the bad. I never have to doubt Diego's feelings or where he stands because he tells me every day. Then there's Chuck, the man I barely know; who might be the most troubled individual I have ever met - no offense." She indicated towards Eric.

"None taken." He said with a small reassuring smile. He knew as well as anyone how messed up Chuck was, just like he knew that Anna had been both good and bad for him.

Continuing, Anna felt her heart begin to pound in her chest. "He's lost and sometimes he forgets that I'm not her; it wasn't just that one time, I can see it in his eyes when it happens." But then her voice softened, taking on an almost mystic quality. "Even still there's this pull, something magnetic, drawing me to him. I can't seem to avoid him, no matter what I try to do and the simplest touch makes me go weak at the knees." She said with a shrug as a smile slipped on to her face.

"You have chemistry too." Eric spoke, his voice quiet and reflective.

Nodding Anna felt as though her heart was pouring itself out, laying itself bare. "It's more than that. There's something about Chuck that makes me makes sense. He doesn't know me but it feels like he does or like there's something so innately similar about the two of us that he's the only one that really could know me. And where with Diego there's the flash fire every time I see him, with Chuck there's something different, something I've never felt before. It's like a slow burning ember, always there, always pulsing and heating me, reminding me of Chuck every moment of every day. When I'm not with him I want to be. Then when I am with him," Anna paused as a smile rose to her features without conscious thought. "When I'm with him that ember swells, growing brighter and more heated with each passing moment until it completely consumes me and my entire body is nothing but flames.

"Wow." Eric spoke, feeling her visual in a way that astounded him; he knew that he himself had never felt anything close to that for another person and wondered if Chuck and Blair had even felt that. A slight warning bell began to ring in his mind as an unidentifiable feeling began to tingle along his spine. Shaking it off, he smiled at Anna. "Forgive me if I'm biased but I'm not sure how you can resist something like that."

Laughing slightly, Anna gave Eric a grim smile. "Oh that's not bias speaking, I haven't quite worked out the resisting bit yet. It's like there are two parts of me, one part loves Diego and the other is falling hopelessly in love with Chuck."

Once more the bells began ringing, this time Eric had a much more difficult time shaking them off. He wasn't certain what they were alerting him to, only that they were making him increasingly uncomfortable. "Sounds like you have a decision to make." He spoke with a struggle.

This time, Anna shook her head almost sadly. "I don't think so. I think the decision is out of my hands for now." Eric looked at her questioningly but she pushed herself forward. "Chuck has to decide if it's me or Blair that he wants because if it's her than I'm not giving up half of myself to be with him; but if it's me . . . Well, then I have a decision to make."

"But until then . . ." Eric spoke leadingly though he knew precisely where he was going.

"Until then, there is no choice. I'm not going to make myself unhappy by ruining what I have with Diego because God help me I don't know yet what I'd do without him." Anna spoke, swallowing tightly as a part of her, bigger than she was willing to admit had begun seriously contemplating what it would mean to lose Diego from her life.

Eric could see that Anna was done, she was exhausted of the talk of Diego and Chuck and needed a distraction, one Eric was more than willing to provide. "Enough of those boys, now tell me about these tasks you've had to do."

Anna exhaled heavily, a sigh escaping her lips, partially out of relief that she'd survived what she'd told Eric and he didn't find her crazy and partially because she knew that she shouldn't say what Eric was asking, it was against the rules. Screw the rules, Eric was her person. "Well there're seven tests, each measure a value of the Fellows."

Eric nodded for her to continue, a smile rising to his face at the way Anna had rearranged herself and even the way her voice had changed. He remembered when Nate and Chuck had undergone the tests, Nate had grumbled about some of them but Chuck had been mostly mum about what was occurring. Either way he'd learned most of them through them and what he hadn't was something he'd picked up from conversations with his father who of course was a Fellow; but he was more than a little confused at how some of them could be completed with only one pledge.

"The values are strength in self, knowledge, resourcefulness, ruthless ambition, judgment, loyalty, and dignity. Some tests were simpler than others, in fact a couple were ridiculously easy, while others were more difficult than I can begin to explain." Anna spoke her voice quiet even though she knew that the two of them were alone in Eric's apartment.

Pursing his lips, Eric found himself speaking before he realized it. "I think perhaps that each of the tasks are difficult in different ways and the ones that are easy for some are harder for others. Those who find each test to be easy or at least doable would be the ideal fellows."

Anna shook her head slightly, never ceasing to be amazed by Eric's ability to reason things out because of course he was probably right. They'd discussed the society before over the phone when all of it was first beginning, she'd talked to him about the layout and the Seven so she didn't bother going back over all of that again." To test strength in self I simply had to hold Fitz's gaze which I did immediately. The knowledge test is the one that I completed on Wednesday once Nate had returned and the Fellows could meet, it was like a pop quiz about facts, current events, culture, and of course the Fellows, but it was easy too. The resourcefulness test was acquiring the necklace which Chuck did for me."

Eric smiled, Chuck had called him that night and they'd spoken for over an hour about how much Chuck wanted her to succeed and more than that how much Chuck simply wanted her. His thoughts paused when Anna continued because this was one of the parts he was confused about. Usually the pledges were given the task of sabotaging one another only each thought that they were the only one with that task. It always ended with the elimination of one of the pledges. They had to be ruthless in their sabotaging but judgment came into play as to which they each targeted - did they go for the strongest, the weakest, the one with the least connections? In years where they all targeted the same person it was easy, the years that they didn't is when things tended to get difficult. How this was done with one person, Eric didn't know.

"Ruthless ambition took a lot out of me. All I was told was that 'for one to rise, another must fall.' I was then handed a list of what they called potentials and told to pick one to then thoroughly socially destroy." Anna exhaled and looked away, she couldn't meet Eric's eyes. "Aiden administered the test." She spoke with a shiver at the thought of his eyes staring at her as he spoke. "But Braden spoke right before I left, 'Choose wisely.' I knew that there was more to this test than they were telling me."

Furrowing his brow, Eric squeezed her hand; he knew who Aiden was and couldn't help but think that the test fit his personality with his dark penetrating gaze that seemed to eat you alive. "This was the hard one wasn't it." He couldn't help but think that for Blair this would have been simple; that was just a part of who Blair was, when she wanted something, nothing and no one stood in her way. And her judgment while harsh was unfailingly accurate.

Anna swallowed and looked back at him. "I took the list and observed them, I picked the one that I thought least worthy, truthfully I'm not sure why she was even considered" She added snarkily before continuing. "And I did what I had been asked to do. I humiliated her in front of all of her friends and just about anyone else who mattered."

"What did you do?" Eric asked, strangely curious, more because of the tone he'd heard slip into her voice as she spoke of the way she'd passed judgment than anything else. It was just so familiar, almost sickeningly so.

Anna smirked. "Nair-tini, always a classic."

Eric's eyes widened in surprise, Blair had invented the Nair-tini; at least he thought she had. "What made you think of that?" He asked, knowing his voice probably sounded strangled as he attempted to hide the rush of déjà vu that was overpowering him at the moment. It didn't help that all of the sudden he was seeing things he knew he'd been ignoring earlier. It was as though his blinders had fallen away, allowing him to see the full picture that was Anna. Her hair had lost its honey coloring completely and her curls fell mid back, her skin while still lit with a certain glow was no longer the bronzed color it had been when he'd last seen her. Not to ignore the difference in her voice, the southern accent she'd carried had almost disappeared completely, he only heard it on some words now and the way she dressed had a distinctive northern prep splashed with her traditional style.

Anna simply shrugged. "I've done it before, it always makes for a quick humiliation."

Eric could feel his heart pounding as thoughts he swore he would never allow himself to think began to permeate his mind. "Go on." He spoke with a gesture as he swallowed tightly. He needed Anna to distract him right now, to do something anything to take his mind away from where it was headed.

Anna noticed the strain on Eric's face but continued on at his bequest. "Turns out it was a double test. Aiden's test had been the ruthless ambition part, Braden's was having the judgment to eliminate the right person. Then Mitchell's loyalty test, I was 'kidnapped' by another society and threatened, but I saw through that one." She added with an eye roll. "I knew Mitchell's test involved loyalty so I assumed that this was where I had to show it by refusing to divulge our secrets even under pressure."

Eric nodded, forcing himself to stay with Anna, reminding himself that this was simply Anna; she wasn't Blair, she couldn't be Blair, no matter how like her she sometimes seemed or looked or acted. "Then . . ." He spoke leadingly.

Anna nodded as she continued. "The last test was what they called a test of dignity under pressure. I was placed in a stressful situation with the Dean of Students, accused of doing something I hadn't and had to talk my way out of it adequately."

"Easy for you wasn't it?" Eric said, once again thinking about Blair. He couldn't quite shake the strange tremble he was feeling shooting up and down his spine now, the one that made him completely on edge.

Again Anna nodded. "It was. The only task left is the Initiation task. I'll be kidnapped on the last Tuesday night before winter break - almost two months from now, placed in the tunnels blindfolded and have to work my way back to the Fellows, along the way there will be tests like the labyrinth with quizzes or puzzles - I'm actually excited. Then after I'm initiated there will be a ball and I'll be named."

"Should you know all this?" Eric asked, though he knew it himself through his connections he knew that potentials usually didn't. Immediately he suspected Chuck's involvement.

"One of my friends in the Fellows spoiled it. . ." She spoke with a laugh thinking of how Nate had taken her from the last meeting immediately spilling what initiation would entail.

Eric furrowed his brows slightly. "Not Chuck?"

Grinning Anna shook her head. "No, Chuck's been surprisingly mum about the topic. It was my friend from Economics class, Nate."

"Archibald?" Eric swallowed, the strange tingling replaced by a very different sort of feeling, one he couldn't begin to describe. It was then that he realized that this wasn't the first time Anna had said Nate's name, she'd done it earlier, in the same way she'd said the other names of the Seven which meant that she didn't know that he knew Nate, that Nate was Blair's ex-boyfriend; but yet she knew him well enough that she called him a friend and he'd confided about the tasks; not to mention she knew that he'd been away over fall break. Nate the honorable had been keeping secrets.

Anna nodded avidly. "Yeah, do you know him?"

Pressing his lips tightly, Eric knew he had a decision to make, either he could reveal Nate's identity to Anna, potentially ruining their friendship, freaking Anna out, and causing a rift in the group. Or he could stay quiet for now, talk to Nate and see just what was going on before he acted. Slowly, Eric nodded his head. "We run in some of the same circles. Six degrees you know?"

Smiling Anna nodded again because it was true in some ways everyone knew everyone in New York. "Is it weird that I'm strangely excited for this last task, I think it's going to be fun."

At this Eric actually laughed. Only Blair would find something so torturous to be fun, like her prior obsession with standardized test and how she thought they were only a game that weeded out the weak. He was about to remind her of such when his words caught in his throat as he realized that for the first time he'd done it, he'd thought of her as Blair in his mind and not in a nostalgic way, in a real psychologically screwed up kind of way. Grasping his head, Eric felt as though he might hurl.

"Are you okay?" She asked her voice, soft as worry filled it completely. Eric looked suddenly ill, his face had gone almost completely white.

For a moment he couldn't look at her, couldn't bring his eyes to meet hers. So many thoughts were flooding his mind, completely overwhelming him. He'd allowed himself to think of her as Blair, or maybe allowed himself wasn't the right word because he hadn't seemed to have a choice in the matter, it just happened. He'd been away at school and it seemed that during that time he'd allowed his guard to fall and now he was doing exactly what he'd swore he'd never do; but it was more than that. There was something today that had him on edge, something in the way she was speaking and acting - even the way she'd begun to look. His entire body was screaming at him that the girl in front of him was Blair. "Yeah, just a bit hungover after my night out with Jenny." He finally managed.

That's when it happened, time seemed to freeze as he looked up to see her left hand twisting a ring on her right. An almost insane panic filled him as he became unable to focus his gaze anywhere else. He'd never seen anyone do that but Blair. She wasn't, she couldn't be, it wasn't possible.

Anna smiled, of course, she'd almost forgotten he and the blonde had torn up the town last night. "So the trick is to drink a PediaSure when you come in drunk, rehydrates you and kills the hangover."

Curiosity overpowered whatever else Eric was feeling at that moment and his head snapped to meet Anna's gaze. "Really? Where did you learn that?"

Anna's mind drifted without her control, later she assured herself that she allowed it to wander freely because she was more comfortable with Eric than she was with anyone, more at ease. Her guard was down and she could therefore not be responsible for the words that then came out of her mouth. "My friend Cassie, the night of my junior prom."

Immediately Eric's ears perked up, he remembered all too clearly just what had caused the scene at Chuck's the night the girls interrupted their Lost Weekend - Anna's reluctance to share what had happened that night, so if she was going to tell him now he certainly wasn't stopping her.

Anna wasn't censoring herself, simply letting the words slip through her lips like air. "Jackson had gotten a hotel room where we had the prom and I went up with him thinking we would just hook up. We'd both been drinking heavily but I still said no and he didn't stop. When he broke the strap on my dress I slapped him and he seemed to come out of it, but it was too late. I ran from the room, running into Diego on the way out. Diego tried to slow me down, get me to tell him what was wrong but I wouldn't. I just kept going. I took a taxi home to an empty house, my parents were visiting relatives so I was alone, and I polished off the remnants of a bottle of vodka."

Eric felt his breath slow almost to a stop, he would have sworn he could hear both their hearts beating loudly throughout the room and nothing else.

Anna kept speaking, surprised that she wasn't shaking, she never talked about this, it was too upsetting. "I passed out on the couch and then was shaken awake by this terrible dream, one that was so punishing, so completely realistic that I can't believe it didn't kill me."

"I don't understand." Eric spoke quietly, wondering what kind of dream could kill someone.

Anna exhaled as she spoke. "I die in the dream, every time I die."

"Every time?" Eric asked confusion filling his voice. He felt the feeling again, those words she said were so familiar, almost hauntingly so. Only this time he wasn't thinking of something Blair or Anna had said but of something Chuck had once told him, only he couldn't quite lay a finger down on the words.

"Every time." Anna echoed softly unaware that she'd lost Eric for a moment. "I have the dream almost every night now, never as bad as that first night, if it was I don't think I'd still be here. I knew the trigger, it was too close to the date of the accident to be anything else, I know I am just reliving it over and over. And that night after everything that had happened I just couldn't handle the pain."

Softening his gaze, Eric realized that this had turned into something else entirely. "What happened Anna?" He wasn't sure what he was asking her, whether it was about the accident or what the dream made her do.

Her voice was cool and calm as she spoke again. "My dad keeps this 1962 Maserati 3500. I stuffed the tailpipe with a mechanical cloth, sat in the driver's seat and started the car. I was out from the carbon monoxide in a matter of minutes" Anna spoke, her voice low. "In the mean time Diego had found Cassie and sent her looking for me. She found me passed out in the car, if she'd been even ten minutes later I don't think I would have survived."

"Does Chuck know?" Eric asked softly, connecting the dates quickly enough to realize that this wasn't too long before Chuck had attempted suicide himself. If Chuck knew about this then Eric would be surprised that he hadn't said anything or perhaps begun to speculate.

Anna shook her head as she straightened out her shoulders, reality hitting her like a brick. What had she just done opening up to Eric like that. She barely knew him and here she was laying down all of her emotional baggage at his feet. She knew she had to stop herself before she said anything more. She'd sworn to herself that she wouldn't do that, wouldn't tell them about her two years of memory and risk them all thinking she was crazy. "Chuck doesn't know, no one knows."

Eric watched her close herself back up and knew that the time for questions had come and gone. But Eric knew that he had more to say to her, much more. He could feel the hole in the story, though he couldn't seem to quite see it. There was something missing from all of, something she wasn't telling him, it was in her eyes, the way the spark left them as they guarded something she wasn't ready to admit.

He wasn't sure why his next words rose to his lips, only that he couldn't prevent them from slipping out. "You should be honest with them, both of them." His words, while kind, were still direct. "They deserve to know how you're feeling."

Anna looked surprised but Eric wasn't done yet. "But while you should be honest with both, I'm asking you to be honest with Chuck. You don't have to tell me what you're hiding but please tell him. After everything he's been through, treating him the way you are right now will only fuck with his head even more. He's risking everything right now to be with you, including the sanity he's been grasping to so tightly, and he deserves to know the real you, not the mask that you wear for everyone else." Eric swallowed, surprised at how harsh his words had probably seemed but he was relieved to see that Anna didn't seem upset. "I'm sorry if that was too direct. It's just he's my brother."

Anna smiled slightly, feeling herself slide slightly off kilter. She'd been protecting her secrets from day one but Eric was sitting here practically begging her not to. Maybe she'd been wrong, maybe she should have come clean earlier about what she was looking for in New York. "It wasn't too direct. I think you're right." She spoke softly.

At that moment they were interrupted by the ringing of Eric's cell phone. He saw the number and motioned to Anna that he had to take it. When he snapped his cell closed his eyes met Anna's wishing he had the time to continue this conversation, there were words on the tip of his tongue that he couldn't quite form and he knew he was close to something he just wasn't sure what. "I have to go, the car is here to take me back to school." He spoke reluctantly.

Anna nodded, standing. "You'll be home in a couple weeks for my birthday right?"

"Wouldn't miss it." Eric spoke, his voice hiding the strange feeling that was growing in his gut.

It wasn't until he was sitting in the car a few hours down the road thinking about the words Anna had said earlier when speaking about her dream - _I die in the dream, every time I die - _that a memory of Chuck right after he tried to kill himself resurfaced.

_Swallowing tightly, Eric met Chuck's gaze, unable to hide the hurt in his own. "Why'd you do it?" _

_For a moment Chuck didn't look over. Eric was the first and only person he'd let in to see him, the only one he'd really considered doing damage to when he'd tried to end his pain. The disappointment in his voice caused something to stir inside of Chuck that he hadn't felt for a long time; it made him meet Eric's gaze and speak. "I've had the same dream every night for the past month." Chuck spoke, his voice throaty and raw. "I dream of the accident." _

_Eric's eyebrows furrowed, he knew what had happened to Blair was still torturing Chuck but he had no idea that it was literally haunting him like this. Eric couldn't imagine what that must be like to have to relive the accident over and over, the accident that had cost Chuck Blair. "I'm sorry." He spoke honestly._

_Chuck shook his head. "Don't be. Dreams are the only place where I feel like I can breathe. They are the only place I can exist anymore without the all-consuming pain of reality crushing down on me so hard that I feel like I'm suffocating. You see in the dream I save her, every time I save her." _

_Eric's brows tightened even further. "Then why . . .?" _

_"Because last night in the dream, I didn't." Chuck exhaled, ready to say the only words he could to explain why he'd done what he had. "And I couldn't bear the thought of living when even my dreams became nightmares instead of just existing inside of reality."_

Everything seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks as the tingle in his spine, the pounding in his head, and the twisting of his gut all combusted together. She'd sidestepped the question about the accident. The accident. One year ago Anna had tried to kill herself because of a dream of an accident she'd had, an accident who's date was close. One year ago Chuck had tried to kill himself because it was the one year anniversary of Blair's accident, Blair's death. And the dreams, the dreams coincided, maybe even their start dates.

Anna's pull to Chuck, the fact that she looked so much like Blair, the indescribable draw they'd all felt towards her, all of it fit together. Anna being Blair made sense, more sense than anything had in such a long time. For a brief moment Eric felt that everything in the world was right again, that everything was explained, that all questions were answered.

The only problem with the theory was that Anna didn't seem to think so herself. If Anna were Blair she would have said something. She was so confused, so lost. He knew her, knew that she was conflicted over Diego and Chuck, she wouldn't be if she were Blair; Blair would never turn her back on Chuck, she'd proven that time and time again. But still his mind just kept seeing the image of her twisting the ring on her hand nervously, the exact nervous gesture Blair had always used. There had to be an explanation for all of this, there had to be.

His gut was flipping, his heart was pounding, and his brain was screaming that she simply had to be Blair Waldorf and all he wanted to do was shout it from the rooftops but he couldn't, not until he was sure, he couldn't do that to everyone and risk it turn out to be wrong. He'd go back to Harvard for the next few weeks and try to focus on something else but when he came back for her birthday, he was damn well going to figure it all out.

* * *

Anna felt a strange feeling building in her stomach, one that slowly overcame all of her senses as she paced the lot outside her dorm room. Ever since she'd left Eric's her mind had been unable to leave that conversation and some of the implications that it held were simply making her head spin.

Her gut was telling her to talk to Chuck, to come clean about everything not only because he deserved to know but because of a growing feeling that had been developing, one that said that maybe she was wrong before. What if she were Blair? No one had seen or heard from her in a few years, it was possible right? So she wasn't missing per se, but she might as well have been. The only thing that kept throwing her off was that they said she went off somewhere to college to get away from all of this; if she'd been in the storm people would have known.

But at this point the finer details were becoming obsolete because so much was going unexplained. She looked like Blair so much that she could have practically been a clone, they said she acted like her sometimes, and that indescribable pull not just to Chuck but to all of Blair's friends. She used to think it was there because subconsciously she wanted to be Blair; wanted to have found out about her past, but now she wasn't so sure. Her mind just kept screaming "what if?"

So it was with determination that she entered Diego's dorm; she had to run this by someone and he was the only person she could think of at the moment. "Can I come in?" She asked as Diego opened the door.

Diego was exhausted, more so than he'd been in a very long time. He was worn out and beaten up from the activities of last night and had spent most of the day in bed; however the sight of Anna seemed to invigorate him. "Of course." He spoke as he backed from the doorway, surprise hitting him as she began to pace, immediately he began to worry about the cause of this visit.

Anna pursed her lips together as she stalked back and forth around his room, aware that as she spoke her hands were gesticulating with her mouth. "I want to talk to you about something, something that I've been feeling a lot lately."

Diego blanched. "Should I be worried?"

"No." Anna spoke immediately as she came to an abrupt stop. "Well yes, maybe…ugh I don't know." Anna spoke with a groan. "Just let me talk for a minute to sort out my thoughts and then you tell me what you think okay?"

Diego swallowed as his eyes met hers. He couldn't deny the intense worry that was filling his bones. Was she breaking up with him? Had she figured out that he'd been lying to her? Did she know that she was Blair? "Okay." He said in a low voice because really what else could he say.

Nodding her head, Anna resumed her pacing. "You know I love you but you also know that I'm attracted to Chuck, I suck at hiding it or for that matter anything else from you." Anna said honestly. "That doesn't change us or what we have but I can't help but wonder why? Why am I so attracted to Chuck?"

Diego felt like he was having heart palpitations, she wasn't telling him anything he didn't already know but yet the twisting it was causing in his gut was immeasurable. Though he couldn't help but focus on the fact that she wasn't breaking up with him, at least not yet.

"It's bugged me for a while because really there's no explanation, I barely even knew Chuck when this whole thing started." As she spoke, she couldn't meet Diego's eyes, not while she said what she was saying. "But now it's all I can think about. Why Chuck? Why does part of me feel so connected to him, the boy that the girl that I look exactly like was in love with?"

Finally slowing, Anna looked up at Diego, coming to a stop right in front of him. "I feel like I should be honest with Chuck about everything. The accident, the memory loss, why I knocked on his door that morning and see where it goes. I'm so tired of being scared of freaking them out by making them think that I think I'm Blair because honestly I am starting to think that. I can't find any other explanation Diego, what if what I've been looking for has been right under my nose from the moment I arrived in the city. What if I'm her?"

Diego's heart was pounding so violently that it felt as though it might beat straight from his chest. And then it seemed to stop beating altogether, the moment he knew would come was here. It was his last chance to turn back from this course, his last chance to be honest with her. If he lied now it was done, he could never come back from this. He was standing at the point of no return. The hope shining in her eyes made the choice even harder but what choice did he really have. Lie now and lose her when she found out or come clean and lose her now. "You're not." He spoke softly.

"What?" Anna asked, her throat drying immediately. Diego had spoken with such certainty, he wasn't making a guess, he was stating a fact.

Swallowing tightly, Diego tried to wet his mouth enough to form words. "You aren't Blair."

Anna shook her head. "You don't know that for sure. I could be. She's been gone from their lives without word for so long that maybe they didn't know that she was in an accident, we can't be sure."

"I can be." Diego spoke, taking one of her hands in his. "I'd hoped I'd never have to say this, that it would never come to the point that I would need to step in but I can't let you get Chuck's hopes up, or your own, for that matter."

Anna was so confused, Diego was talking like a crazy man; he wasn't making any sense. "I don't understand." She spoke quietly.

Diego looked down at her fingers intertwined with his and stayed focused there because that was something concrete, something that could center him. "I knew Blair. Chuck introduced us when I used to live here, we weren't exactly friends but we interacted on multiple occasions, I knew her."

Anna's mouth formed an 'oh' in surprise but she didn't speak, in fact she was probably unable to form words at all.

"Even I was fooled at first. When you first showed up in Texas it sent my head spinning because I recognized the similarities even then, it was my initial attraction to you." Diego spoke candidly because so far that was true, or at least it was what he thought at the time. "I get the resemblance I do, but one conversation with you and I knew you weren't her. Yes you're similar but you're also like wine and water. Blair had a cruelness about her that was biting and defense mechanisms to keep anyone from getting too close; you can bitch with the best of them but you've never been malicious and you are the most openly loving person I know."

Reaching out, he brushed a strand of hair off of Anna's face, tucking it behind her ear. "And more than all of the personality difference there's one major issue. I haven't seen Blair since she and I were 13 years old but when I saw you junior year, five years later you were much too young; there's no possible way you are old enough to be Blair. You looked how I imagine she would have looked around 15 or maybe even 16; but 18 no way."

Finishing up, Diego placed his hands on either side of her face. "You know how much I love you and contrary to how it may seem I do care about Chuck and his family, they used to be my friends too; so I am begging you not to do this. Don't make them believe they've found her when we both know they haven't. Don't do this to them and don't do it to yourself."

Anna could feel her bottom lip as it begin to tremble; it felt as though all of her hopes had been dashed, hopes that had been there from the beginning, building steadily throughout the past few months until she'd begun to truly believe it. As the first tear fell, she forced herself to speak. "I really wanted to be her. I wanted to finally be able to put this part of my life together."

"I know." Diego said, pulling her tightly to his chest, partially to comfort her and partially to hide the pain on his face. He was the only thing keeping Blair from knowing the truth, keeping her from knowing about her past, and he knew that if he got his way this would be something she would have to live with for the rest of her life. The thought of how much pain this caused her hurt him more than he wanted to admit.

Biting her lip in an effort to stop the tears, Anna held tightly to him. "I just want to know who I am."

Pulling back slightly Diego looked directly into her eyes, their nose touching ever so slightly. "You know who you are. You are Annabelle Carmichael-Getty, the most beautiful, brilliant, loyal, compassionate, loving woman I know and you don't need anyone or anything to tell you otherwise."

Feeling her heart warm at how even when she was feeling her lowest Diego had an incredible ability to make her feel so special, so loved, Anna leaned in and pressed a soft tender kiss on his lips. "Thank you."

* * *

So close but yet so far . . . but soon more will surface, as in the next two chapters kind of soon. A few things: The first couple of sections are setting up for something bigger, I had to show you a bit more of Diego with the gang for what's to come to make sense and I thought it was time to clue Serena in on the rest. As for the Eric/Anna convo – so Eric knows or thinks he knows, he's a bit confused and I chose for her to really open up to him because she'd done it before and because he's the one character that would be analyzing everything, in some ways he simply should know first. You have my permission to hate Diego (get ready to hate him more) BUT I do want to remind you that though we love Chuck and Blair Diego loves Anna so much and he's so afraid of losing her that he doesn't know anything else. So hate him but also kind of feel sorry for him. He's loved her for as long as he remembers and he can feel her slipping away. That said . . .

**Please review, you know I love them. **

**xoxo-kate**


	25. The Cutting Room Floor

I just saw RENT which just returned Off-Broadway in New York and felt so inspired by the song Halloween that I couldn't stop myself from beginning this chapter a bit differently. I implore you to read the lyrics I posted cut from the song Halloween. I was simply floored at the way they articulated so much about this fanfic particularly this section of this fanfic.

Disclaimer: There is a scene in this chapter that is emotionally very draining and potentially very hard to read – for that reason this chapter is M. Please heed that.

To my reviewers: **Kels, ggloverxx19, CarolinaGirl21, LeftWriter224, HarryPotterfanforeverr123, SouthernBelle88, Krazy4Spike, GGfanficfan09, LovelyLydia, Aquarian Air, annablake, LitPrincess2787, Sw33tHeart21, jamieerin, ggoddess, Hannah, Lolaaa, Tuppence, and ggff-fan. **You guys are so awesome and I'm so excited to share this next chapter with you because I think you're going to love it. Sorry if I didn't respond to your review, I'm in the middle of rush practice and such just know that I really did appreciate every single one of them!

_Why are entire years strewn  
__On the cutting room floor of memory  
__When single frames of one magic night  
__Forever flicker in close-up  
__On the 3D imax of my mind  
_**Halloween - Rent the Musical**

* * *

**Chapter 25:  
The Cutting Room Floor**

Anna exhaled as she walked out of her French class to see Chuck leaning against the side of his limo. It wasn't a surprise in the slightest; in fact she would have been surprised if he hadn't been standing there. It had been just over two weeks since she'd spoken to Eric, which then prompted her conversation with Diego. Since then she hadn't been able to bring herself to talk to Chuck. Part of this was due to the fact that she wasn't over what had happened at the Opera, part was because she was still shaken up by her conversation with Diego.

She'd simply shaken her head and walked away every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday before today but something about the look in his eyes this time made her feel like she had to stop. Taking a few steps towards him she paused, a few feet away, feeling the flames beneath her skin beginning to heat. "Hey Chuck."

Chuck straightened immediately as she approached. He'd sent endless flowers with apologetic notes to her dorm and had waited for her at the conclusion of her French class just as they used to meet to go to lunch but this was the first time she'd spoken to him since the Opera. "Annabelle." He said with a nod before adding almost as an afterthought. "Happy Halloween."

Anna wrinkled her nose only slightly as she felt herself slipping into their easy banter. "I was never a big fan."

"Really?" Chuck asked with raised eyebrows. It still surprised him in the ways she was different from Blair; Blair had adored Halloween, it was the perfect excuse for a masked ball.

Nodding, Anna relaxed and uncrossed her arms. "Yeah. Things have always been rather unlucky for me on this particular Holiday and I don't know something about it has just always freaked me out."

Smirking Chuck took a tentative step forward. "As sorry as I am for your past bad luck, I can't say that it isn't my favorite Holiday."

"Why am I not surprised?" Anna asked laughing quietly. "Only the devil himself would love it."

Chuck found he couldn't help but grin; her presence seemed to illuminate and electrify him. "What's not to love? It's the one night of the year where everyone is free to let down their inhibitions and be exactly who they'd like to be. It's when you see who people really are, their true self revealed."

Nodding a smirk rose to Anna's lips. "So what do you do to celebrate?"

"I throw the biggest party of the year." Chuck responded though he felt the question was practically rhetorical.

Lifting her brows, Anna was surprised to find herself taking another step closer. "A masquerade?"

"Only of the grandest proportions. The first annual Devil's Ball." Chuck responded, realizing that for the first time since the Opera, Anna was close enough to touch.

Smiling, Anna leveled her gaze. "Chuck Bass, I must say I'm impressed."

Chuck spoke without thinking as was becoming custom around Anna as of late. "And you are my toughest critic." He heard the familiarity of the words but knowing Anna wouldn't he didn't call attention to them. "You are of course invited."

At that Anna took a half step back, recognizing that this particular moment had finished; but it had gone better than she had expected for their first conversation post-Opera to go. Chuck hadn't pushed the issue of that night and things hadn't been awkward at all; but they were still towing the dangerous line from before. "Diego and I actually have plans tonight."

"I see." Chuck spoke, leaning back against the limo once more. "Well if those plans fall through, you know how to get a hold of me."

"That I do." Anna spoke before backing away. "I'll see you soon then Bass."

Chuck gave one singular nod before sliding into his limo. "See you soon Annabelle."

Anna watched Chuck's limo pull away until she heard the ringing of her phone. At first she half thought it was him, calling to be silly, her stomach tightened as she saw the number - _what the hell? _The name currently flashing across her screen made no sense at all.

**Jackson Hollingsworth**

Anna answered more out of shock than anything else. If she'd had one ounce of sanity left in her tiny brain she would have let it go to voicemail but apparently she'd lost it recently. "Hello?" She asked questioningly as she braced herself, Jackson had a bit of a way with words that always warmed her heart into forgiving him for whatever he'd done. It had been a long time since they'd spoken but she knew that of all things, that wouldn't have changed.

"Hey Belle." Jackson spoke, his voice warm and husky.

Anna found a smile unwittingly working its way to her lips. She hadn't seen or spoken to Jackson since he'd left for football camp in late July but he somehow managed to say the only words that were guaranteed to keep her listening. Exhaling she tightened her grip on the phone. He'd relaxed her by using his nickname for her, something in the familiarity of his tone and phrase just calmed her though she was surprised that the tingling feeling she used to get at the sound of his voice wasn't there. "It's been a while Jackson."

"I know." In his voice was more than a hint of shame but it was still guarded, he knew if he wanted them to be anything whether that be friends or one day more he couldn't act like that now. "I was an idiot. After beach week I was just so angry and I acted like a possessive jerk."

Anna would have laughed if the statement hadn't been true. "You did. But I'm sorry for just walking out on you that last night." She said referencing his last night at home where he'd gotten jealous, she'd gotten angry, they'd argued, and when the question came up as to what now she'd said 'I don't know' and walked away.

Jackson almost smiled. "You don't have anything to be sorry for; walking away was what was best for both of us at the time."

"I agree." She spoke as he finished, remembering then that this wasn't exactly an ordinary thing. "So why are you calling now Jay?" She spoke with a shrug clear in her voice as she tensed for his response.

Jackson breathed heavily, not sure how she'd react to this next bit. "I'm in New York and I'd like to see you."

Anna's jaw dropped as she processed Jackson's words. "What are you doing in New York?"

"A friend of mine is on the basketball team so I used the excuse that I was coming to watch him play at Madison Square Gardens against Georgetown but I'm really just here because I missed you." Jackson spoke, his words slow and deliberate. When Anna didn't say anything else he knew she was a little surprised, he took the fact that he could still hear her breathing on the other side of the phone as a good thing. "Have a drink with me tonight B."

The air flooded from Anna's lungs quickly at the sincerity in Jackson's voice. "I'm supposed to meet Sam for drinks when she gets out of class."

"You know I love your friends." Jackson spoke immediately. "I don't care who's there, I just want to see you. I miss my friend Anna."

Anna found herself nodding before she really knew she'd made a decision. But his words were true for her too. She might not have missed a lot of the romantic pressures that came with dating Jackson but he'd been such a large part of her life for so long that there was a bit of a Jackson shaped hole left when he wasn't around. "Okay, is PJ Clarkes okay?" She asked, citing one of her favorite bars.

"Sounds great." Jackson said as relief washed over him that she was willing to see him. After speaking he felt a natural lull fall in the conversation but he didn't want to hang up just yet. "So, you're still close with Sam?" He asked, almost cautiously.

Anna furrowed her brows as she approached the cab. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

Jackson scoffed softly. "Oh I don't know, I heard y'all had a fight of sorts."

Furrowing her brows more tightly Anna stared at her phone in confusion. "How did you . . . Lina."

"Might have said something." Jackson finished his voice amiable. "She and I keep in touch from time to time.

Anna nodded slightly; she knew that Jackson and Lina's families were close so it wasn't that surprising that they talked. "Lina will be Lina and Sam will be Sam." She spoke with a shrug.

"So what happened with Sam that caused me to hear about it?" Jackson asked as he continued walking down the street.

Anna pursed her lips deciding how best to answer. It wasn't like she wanted to outright say that she and Sam had been fighting because they weren't quite as close as they thought they were and had both learned that the other was keeping secrets. "Some stuff we'd been closed up about resurfaced recently and it caused a fairly large rift."

Jackson's brows furrowed as his heart beat quickened. "What kind of stuff?"

Anna looked at her phone curiously, she couldn't help but think that Jackson was acting weird, almost cagey; but if they were going to be friends again then she needed to be honest or at least try to be. "A lot of it was about the night of junior prom."

"Anna-" Jackson started immediately realizing that it was about exactly what he feared.

Anna shook her head though she knew he couldn't see her. "No Jackson, just listen for a second okay. That night was a long time ago and I've moved past it. I forgive you."

"You do?" Jackson asked tentatively, surprised at the smoothness of this conversation, all things considered.

Anna nodded. "I do. Now I'll see you at PJ Clarkes at five."

Jackson smiled a smile that shone through his voice. "I'll see you then."

* * *

Chuck was quiet as he sat in his limo listening to his PI speak. This wasn't exactly protocol for them. Usually Chuck got his updates over the phone but today Andrew had thought it best to speak in person, something Chuck wasn't entirely happy about because of what it must mean.

"As of now, the boy hasn't taken her anywhere near his extra-curricular activities. Anna's remained perfectly safe." Andrew Tyler said cautiously, knowing that if a hair on that girl's head was damaged his head would be the one on a platter even though his job was technically just keeping tabs on Diego.

Chuck's nostril's flared as his finger ran up and down the length of the door handle. "Then would you mind telling me why we're sitting here?"

Tyler swallowed before continuing. "The boy's activities have become increasingly more frequent and for that matter more dangerous. There's a bit of a territory war heating up between the Brigade and some of the older families, the Connelly's specifically."

"And?" Chuck asked leadingly.

"And I'm concerned that the boy's involvement could lead to the girl getting hurt." Tyler said gruffly.

Chuck felt his heart clench at the thought of someone hurting Anna, but at the same time he knew that there was a fine line between protecting her and pushing her away. He couldn't step in before she recognized herself that she was in danger or she wouldn't find his minor stalking to be very forgivable. He groaned because he couldn't protect her until she was already being hurt. "Anything else?"

Tyler nodded. "I have intel that there's something big going down tonight, something really big."

Chuck shrugged and looked away. "Diego won't be involved he has a date with Anna." As he spoke, Chuck was unable to keep the jealousy from his voice and realized that Tyler had heard it when he spoke again.

"Convince her to do something with you instead." Chuck's head snapped towards Andrew's as he spoke but he continued. "If you want to keep her safe, keep her away from Diego."

Chuck slammed his hand against the window. "Don't you see that I can't? She doesn't think she's in danger and until she does I can't do anything about it." A rare hint of helplessness seeped into his voice.

Andrew Tyler shook his head. "Then know that she's at risk right now and you need to be ready to act if something does happen."

"Keep a close eye on them tonight." Chuck said before giving Andrew a bonus and sending him out of the limo. As the vehicle begin to move once more, this time with Chuck by himself, he couldn't ignore the sick twisting in his gut that said that Andrew Tyler was right, Anna wasn't safe and that thought terrified him.

* * *

Sam smiled as she walked into PJ Clarkes. It had been a long day and she was looking forward to happy hour with Anna. Fashion Week was done in every country and she'd spent most of this week catching up on all the work she'd gotten behind on so this was really the first chance she'd had to breathe. Plus it would be a great start to the evening, Chuck had texted her and Cassie both earlier inviting them to some big party he was having and both had agreed that they had nothing better to do. Yes, today was going to be a good day. "Hey bitch." She said affectionately as she took a seat next to Anna at the bar.

"Nice to see you too, slut." Anna said smiling as she gestured the bartender to bring them a round of drinks. "How was your day?"

Sam shrugged. "The usual. I think I'm finally caught up on my work which is actually a pretty good feeling."

Anna smiled knowingly. "Oh look at you all grown up. Learning that there's a time for work and a time for play."

"Speaking of play, are you coming to Chuck's party tonight?" Sam asked taking a large sip of her drink.

Shaking her head, Anna held back a twinge of disappointment as she reminded herself that the ball wasn't in her court right now when it came to things with Chuck. "Date with Diego."

"I see." Sam spoke as she tried to hide the unexpected flash of jealousy she felt. She'd always had a thing for Diego, it wasn't a secret. But at the same time she didn't begrudge Anna's happiness, after all, she would use Diego once and throw him away unlike Anna who actually cared about him. That was just the way she operated.

Anna didn't talk about Diego around Sam much because she didn't want to strain their friendship, realizing that was where the conversation was headed she quickly changed the subject. "So you'll never guess who's in town."

"Who?" Sam asked smiling as she thought of the possibilities. She would have guessed Lina but Lina would have messaged all of them if she had been coming to town. Surprises were exciting.

Anna smiled brightly, surprised at how much she'd gotten used to the fact that she was about to see her rather volatile ex-boyfriend for the first time since they'd broken up. "Jackson Hollingsworth."

By the look on Anna's face, Sam knew her own face must have blanched; which was fitting since her stomach had dropped and her world was spinning. "Jackson's in town."

Anna nodded, a concerned look rising to her face. Sam's name hadn't gotten a rise out of Jackson but clearly the opposite wasn't true. "Yeah he's meeting us for drinks in a few minutes."

"He's coming here?" Sam asked her mouth dry.

Anna again nodded. "Yeah, Sam are you okay?"

Placing a hand on her stomach Sam stood. "I think I need to go to the bathroom."

"Okay." Anna replied, her voice colored with worry. But she didn't have much time to be concerned because as soon as Sam turned the corner, Jackson appeared and the warmth she had been feeling for him earlier at the sound of his voice seemed to explode in her at the sight of him. He was still her Jackson, tanned skin, golden blonde hair that just slipped over his forehead; he was like coming home.

As Jackson's eyes locked with Anna's he sensed the immediate connection. There was something about just the sight of her that always seemed to put him at ease. "Hey there Belle."

"Jay." She said as she stood and wrapped her arms around him. She could feel the nostalgia washing over her in waves as she inhaled his familiar scent.

Pulling back Jackson met Anna's eyes. "You don't know how happy I was this afternoon when you said you'd forgiven me for what happened junior year."

Anna smiled. It was a bit strange that he was so fixated on that night when so much had happened since then. Apparently the distance between them had taught him some of the things he did wrong in their relationship. "It's in the past."

Pulling her to him tightly once more, Jackson held her close. "God I've missed you."

Anna felt the nostalgia began to ease and though she knew that it felt good to be around Jackson again, he was a part of her and always would be, she had to be honest with him about where this was going. So this time it was Anna who pulled back. "Jackson, things are different now. I'm with Diego." She felt him tense and was almost scared to meet his gaze.

Jackson's entire world seemed to come to a screeching halt at Anna's words. He'd been here to win her back in whatever capacity that might be but to hear that she was with Diego made his blood boil. Pulling away he tried to remain calm, something very difficult all things considered. "How could you?" He asked his voice a low growl. "How could you lower yourself to the level of that thug? You're so much better than that Anna."

"Jackson . . ." Anna started. She'd known that his reaction probably wouldn't be positive but she'd hoped he'd moved past some of the animosity.

Understanding hit Jackson like a brick. "You're doing this to get back at me." He stated, his voice cold yet cutting.

Anna started to speak, confused as to what Jackson was even talking about. "No I . . ."

Jackson shook his head, his voice now filling with righteous indignation. "Don't try to deny it Anna. Don't act like I've never seen that side of you before. You have the capability of being the nicest person I know but you are also fully able to be the most manipulative cruel person I know."

"Jackson, don't be like this." Anna started, finding that her heart beat was racing as she tried to think of what he could be talking about. For some reason her intuition was telling her that this was about to end badly.

Jackson shook his head, nostrils flaring angrily. "All that holier than thou talk earlier about putting the past in the past, worked like a charm Anna. I completely believed you but I'm sure that was the idea."

"What are you talking about Jackson?" Anna finally managed to get out, her voice raised loudly enough to garner attention from most of the bar.

"I'm talking about the fact that you're screwing the person I hate the most to get back at me for sleeping with Sam." Jackson roared in return, his anger completely controlling him. "I still can't believe Sam told you. She swore she'd take it to the grave. . . " He trailed off as he noticed Sam standing to the side of them, face white and mouth slightly open; only then did he look back at Anna's face.

Anna was looking between the two of them, two people who had once been her boyfriend and her best friend; they had betrayed her in the worst way possible.

Jackson swallowed tightly as he assessed the situation, realizing that he'd made a grave miscalculation. "You didn't know?" He spoke, his voice soft and raw.

"Of course she didn't know you idiot." Sam snapped angrily as the worst possible scenario of what could have happened with Jackson coming to town played out before her. The one secret she'd managed to keep to herself for so long now lay bare on the table.

When Anna spoke, her voice was barely there. It felt as though her chest was caving in on her lungs, making it impossible to breathe. "When?" She gasped.

"The night of junior prom, after you ran off." Jackson spoke, using every ounce of control he had to keep his voice level.

Anna's heart clenched as her throat began to burn with unshed tears. She clenched her eyes shut tightly as the pain at the realization of what the two people she had trusted the most had done to her when she was at her most vulnerable. "That's how you knew." She finally managed as she opened her eyes fixing her gaze on Sam. "That's how you knew that I wasn't with Jackson that night."

Sam nodded, placing a hand on Anna's wrist. "I'm so sorry Anna, you've got to know that. You have to know how much I regret it."

"I don't know anything anymore." Anna snapped, jerking her arm away as she turned to flee the bar.

Jackson suddenly seemed to snap out of his stupor and called after her. "Anna, wait! Just talk to us."

Anna turned her head in their direction briefly. "I don't want to talk to either of you, ever again. Got it?"

Walking out of the bar she immediately dialed Diego. She knew he was busy until almost ten with the Family but she needed him and he'd promised her he'd always be there for her.

"Anna what is it?" Diego asked lowly into the phone. He was at the Warehouse getting ready for the situation that was about to go down and didn't want to get caught on the phone, especially not with Anna. He'd taken enough heat after the situation with Smiley; he didn't want the others to know how strongly he felt about Anna. He didn't want them to know that hurting her would kill him.

The sound of Diego's voice was all Anna needed for the tears to break through the front she was putting up; but she still tried to remain solid and not too needy. "Jackson's here, he knows about us."

Diego swallowed tightly as a very physiological reaction seemed to take over his entire body. "Are you okay?" He spoke softly, his implication as to whether Jackson or not had done something to hurt her obvious.

Anna nodded, holding back a gasp. "Yeah I think so, but I was hoping that I could see you sooner rather than later."

Diego felt the angry rage coursing through his veins, he recognized this particular brand of jealousy all too well, though it had been a while since he'd felt it. With Chuck he was jealous because of the connection he saw between Anna and Chuck and the one he knew had existed between Chuck and Blair. With Jackson, it wasn't just because he'd had Anna for so long or that he hadn't always treated Anna well; no with Jackson there was a deep seated hatred fueled by years of loathing all culminating when Anna had become involved. Jackson had been the golden boy, he'd had everything handed to him since birth, never working for anything in his life, always looking down on Diego, thinking he was better; they'd hated each other from the moment they'd met, Anna had escalated the situation past a point of sanity on Diego's part. Which was a large part of the reason why Diego's next words almost killed him to say. "I want to Anna, but I really can't leave now."

Anna could feel her body start to shake and knew that in order to pull Diego away from his responsibilities she would need to really open herself up; she was about to make herself more vulnerable to him than she'd ever done before, she was ready to start being honest about everything, her feelings, her past, and even what she'd almost done to herself. "I need you Diego." She heard the moment's hesitation on his end of the line and her voice cracked. "Please."

One word and Diego couldn't hold back. He shouldn't do what he was about to do. If he were a good person he'd send her to talk to Cassie or Chuck or even Sam or Eric. He wouldn't risk her safety. It killed him that she was in pain, but Jackson's presence heightened all of his emotions; heightened them enough that Diego couldn't see reason. In that moment he knowingly made one of the worst decisions he'd ever made. He put Anna's safety on the line in order to feel secure in their relationship. And the worst part was that he knew that it was Jackson's involvement that had him doing this and not Anna's distress; but that didn't stop him. "Take a cab all the way down East 15th Street and go in the restaurant that's right there. It's difficult to see the entrance, you have to walk around the corner but then you should see the sign, it's called Los Reyes, I should be there, if I'm not ask for Eddie. As soon as you're with Eddie call me. Do you understand?"

Anna's throat tightened. The Warehouse was after 15th Street ended, you had to walk under the highway to get there. "I'll call you as soon as I'm with Eddie."

Diego exhaled as he hung up the phone. Immediately he walked across to where Eddie was sitting. "I need your help man."

"What is it?" Eddie asked seriously, his brow furrowed; Diego never asked anyone for help because he didn't trust anyone, for him to be doing this, it must be big.

Swallowing Diego motioned him away from the others, he didn't want them overhearing. "My girlfriend is dealing with some shit with an ex of hers and she's pretty messed up about it. She's meeting me at Los Reyes but if I have to leave I need you to look out for her; can you do that?" Diego asked, his voice hushed.

Eddie nodded. "Of course."

"Okay." He said exhaling. He knew he should feel worse about all of this but for some reason he just didn't. He trusted Eddie to take care of Anna, Eddie would always have his back.

* * *

Watching Anna leave, Sam felt Jackson's hand slip around her waist. "I'm sorry about that, I thought she already knew."

"Of course she didn't you idiot. Why would I tell her? Why would I alienate my best friend?" Sam snapped furiously.

Jackson turned towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Come on, you can't seriously claim that you guys were that close with what you were doing behind her back."

Sam narrowed her eyes. "So you weren't here to try to win her back?" Jackson looked away. "That's what I thought." Sam said with a shining spark to her eyes.

Jackson slid his hands down her arms until they rested on her waist. "Doesn't change anything with us though?"

Sam jerked away. "What are you doing Jackson? Don't act like we're friends."

"Aren't we?" He asked, his voice low as he thought back to all the time they'd spent together over the years. Specifically the time they'd spent together the summer after junior year and periodically during senior year; the time they'd been sleeping together.

Sam took a step backwards and looked at Jackson with disgust. All she could think about was the fact that she'd lost her best friend when from the look in his eyes all Jackson was thinking about was sex. "We were never friends." She said before turning and walking away.

* * *

Alex looked around the room, his eyes scanning over the men assembled. The warehouse was more crowded than usual though it seemed that the one person Alex was looking for wasn't there. "Where's Diego?" He hissed at Viper who was standing next to him.

"Slash says he heard Diego tell Eddie he was meeting the girlfriend. Apparently he plans to leave the girl with Eddie while we're out." Viper said with a grin, knowing that the information he was giving was prized stuff.

Alex smirked darkly. "Now is that so . . ." A plan quickly began forming in his mind as his eyes found Eddie; the boy he'd so discounted after his father had taken off. Now maybe he'd finally get some use out of him. "I think it's time we revised the plan for tonight's activities, what do you think?"

Viper grinned. "I think we could kill two birds with one stone, maybe three."

Alex laughed as his eyes once more ventured to Eddie. "Yes maybe three."

* * *

Anna exhaled as she walked into the restaurant; immediately seeing Diego sitting on the counter. A flood of relief filled her as she took him in, his black shirt tight on his chest, jeans slung on his hips, and dark hair just falling into his eyes; he looked sexy and unmistakably dangerous.

Immediately Diego wrapped her in his arms, allowing her to cry for a few minutes before he spoke. "What happened Bella?"

"Jackson and Sam slept together the night of junior prom." She stated quickly, not seeing any reason to hold back.

Diego's arms tightened around her almost instantly. That son of a bitch, he wanted to hurt Jackson like he'd never hurt anyone. "I'm sorry babe, I'm so sorry."

Anna shrugged lightly as she held herself tightly against him. "He thought I already knew and when I told him we were together, he said I was doing it to get back at him."

Diego had never felt more protective of her than he did in that moment. What kind of idiot would want anyone else when they had Anna? And Sam? Sam was supposed to be her best friend. It was no wonder she was a wreck. "It's going to be okay, I promise."

"The worst part is that it was going on while I . . ." Anna began, ready to finally tell Diego what had happened on the night of junior prom but was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone.

"Shit." Diego spat as he snapped his phone open. "What is it Eddie?"

"They need you now. They're leaving and Alex seems pissed." Eddie spoke quickly. Alex had had a discussion with him and now he knew he had to play his part well or the shit would really hit the fan. Everyone needed to think he was on their side or this would never work.

Diego practically growled into the phone. "Meet me at the café in five."

"I can't." Eddie responded quickly but quietly.

"What do you mean you can't?" Diego asked, his voice becoming dangerous.

Eddie exhaled shakily. "Alex's eyes haven't left me and you don't have time to wait for me to get there then come back to the warehouse. You're going to have to just bring her here."

"No." Diego responded immediately, without a question. Shooting a glance at Anna he noticed she looked moderately worried though she was no longer crying.

"You have to unless you want to leave her at the café by herself." Eddie hissed. "Bring her to the back door on the side of the river and slip in just as everyone's leaving. I'll stay with her while you guys take care of business; it's just me and Ben staying back. But if you don't get over here in the next two minutes Alex is going to come looking for you."

Diego was growling as he realized that he was stuck. He couldn't just leave her here, taxies didn't come here and she didn't have time to call anyone. "Fuck." He snapped into the phone.

"I'll take that as a yes." Eddie spoke. "I'm heading outside now."

Hanging up the phone Diego turned to Anna and took her hand. "Come on, we have to go."

"Go where?" Anna asked, surprised at her own timidity. Normally she grabbed the bull by the horns but tonight she had a weird feeling in her gut. The afternoon had started off so well as she'd had her first normal conversation with Chuck in weeks but from the moment she'd declined Chuck's invite to his party she'd had a growing ache. She'd thought it was Jackson's call, then his news, but it was still there now.

"You're going to stay at the Warehouse with Eddie." Diego spoke quickly leading Anna from the café.

Anna's eyes went wide with surprise. She'd been thinking he was going to tell her that he was taking her home. "Is it safe?" She asked carefully as she tried to keep up with Diego as he led her towards the Warehouse while trying to stay out of sight.

Diego didn't answer her, he didn't know what to say because honestly he wasn't sure; but if he trusted anyone it was Eddie. Eddie would keep Anna safe.

Anna stopped moving and pulled her hand away crossing her arms.

"Anna come on we have to go." Diego spoke turning towards her impatiently.

Anna shook her head. "I'm not going anywhere until you answer me Diego. If it's not safe I want to go home, I can find a way to get home."

Diego swallowed tightly as he found her eyes, seeing immediately the fear she was repressing. Taking two steps towards her he placed his hands on either side of her face and lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her with every ounce of feeling coursing through him at the moment. In that moment emotions were running so high and there were so many different feelings competing for attention that that one kiss felt super charged. As they broke away both were breathing heavily. Diego spoke his face merely inches from hers, their eyes locked. "I love you, never forget that. I would never let anything happen to you."

"So it's safe?" Anna asked softly, her eyes searching his.

"It's safe." Diego responded reassuringly before pulling back.

Anna laced her fingers through his and started walking forwards, stunning Diego slightly. "Let's go then."

Diego nodded quickly realizing that she trusted him so completely; he'd never experienced that kind of trust before. Slipping around the back way he led her to where he saw Eddie standing against the side of the building. They locked eyes for just a moment, exchanging a quick nod before he looked to Anna. "Anna this is Eddie, Eddie this is my girlfriend Anna." He watched as they exchanged looks of acknowledgement before he spoke again. "Eddie is staying behind to guard the Warehouse, I trust him." Diego added knowing that Anna would know that he was really serious.

Eddie gestured towards the door with a hand. "You've gotta get in there man, they're already angry. She's in good hands."

Once more Diego gave a curt nod before placing a quick kiss on Anna's lips. "I'll be back in an hour at the most."

She nodded quickly. "Be careful. I love you."

"You too." He spoke before disappearing inside, leaving Anna outside with Eddie.

"So what now?" She asked her voice doing nothing to reveal the clenching feeling still inside of her stomach. She simply looked at Eddie questioningly, sizing up the guy Diego had left her with.

Eddie inhaled deeply, observing the girl before him. She was just a slight thing but there was a certain amount of power in her eyes. When Diego had told him about Anna he'd been surprised but seeing her now he could see how she had gotten Diego, she was everything he looked for and probably more. "Now we wait."

It was a while later probably close to an hour, when Eddie first heard the sound, tires crunching on gravel. His first assumption was that Diego was back which was good because the girl was obviously starting to get bored. He was just standing as the doors opened. He felt as though a punch had been delivered to his gut because it wasn't just one door it was every door.

He acted reflexively, running towards Anna he pushed her behind him. His first panicky thought was that the Connelly's thought they were getting revenge, everything was blurring together as he felt her shake behind him. That's when his eyes began to focus again and he realized that he recognized these men; they were all members of the brigade. Instantly his spine began to relax only for him to realize that there was obviously something wrong; the men were wearing smirks and evil grins and they were still walking towards them. Where was Diego? He was supposed to be back first. The moment he saw Smiley and Slash walk in with Viper between them he knew that there was something wrong about all of this, very wrong.

"Well, well what do we have here?" Viper asked as he sauntered into the Warehouse.

"Don't say a word and if I say run, do it." Eddie hissed to the girl who'd quite surprisingly stopped shaking. His nostrils flared as Smiley and Slash began to get particularly close and he became vaguely aware that they were surrounded.

Viper stood back and observed, hoping he wouldn't need to involve himself more. He watched as his henchmen approached Eddie and the girl, excited for what was to come.

Anna inhaled deeply as she straightened her spine. She didn't know what was going on but she trusted Eddie to take care of her, Diego had said he trusted him so, so did she. So she did as asked and stayed quiet even as she saw Smiley, the one who'd touched her before approach.

"Lookie who's come back to play." Smiley said with a twisted grin as the other guys began to laugh.

Slash grinned as well, his hands sliding from his front pockets. "So this is Angel's girl? No one said she was such a looker." More laughter rang throughout the room.

It was when the laughter began to pick up that Eddie became completely aware of how many men were there. It had to be at least twenty. Earlier he'd only seen six or so but they must have continued arriving. "What's up guys? Fight end early?" He asked trying to keep his voice friendly even as his eyes began to narrow as he stole glances around the room.

Smiley grinned. "We weren't needed." He spoke coming up beside the pair, reaching forward he tried to stroke Anna's arm but she jerked away and Eddie rotated until he was between them though he knew that put Slash on the other side of her.

"Leave her alone man." Eddie said, his voice barely restraining his anger. These men were some of the roughest in the gang and oh how they had taunted him when he'd gone from prized boy to bottom rung after his father had disappeared.

"I don't think so." Slash spoke, grabbing Anna's arm from the other side.

Eddie felt more than heard Anna as she let out what could only be considered a hiss as she tried to pull herself away. His gun was withdrawn and pointed at Slash before he had a moment to think otherwise.

Slash backed away immediately as Eddie wielded the gun unwaveringly. Smiley began to approach and Eddie twisted immediately to point the gun at him. "Let's not forget how fast I can shoot. Now if you'll all excuse us, we're leaving." He spoke, taking Anna's hand in his and walking towards Smiley noticing that the number of people between him and that exit were the fewest.

Viper took a few steps forwards, moving until he was in Eddie's sight. "Don't be hasty kid." Moving his vest he showed his belt. "I don't want this to get nasty but we didn't show up defenseless."

Anna gripped Eddie's hand tightly because in that moment he was her lifeline. She didn't know what was going on, where Diego was, or why these men seemed to be targeting her. She was confused and scared, no not scared, terrified.

Eddie gripped her hand back tightly. "What's this about Viper?" He asked as he kept his gun on Slash who seemed to be moving in once more.

Viper grinned sinisterly before rolling his neck back and around. "You have a choice to make kid."

"I don't know what you want but you and the rest of this scum aren't touching her." Eddie spoke, adrenaline racing through his veins as he stared down the man in front of him; a man who could only be considered pure evil.

Viper shook his head. "You're wrong Lucky." Speaking he took another step closer aware that Eddie's gun was now trained on him. "We're going to have her one way or the other. Either you're going to fight us or you're not." He could see Eddie chomping at the bit to snap back but raised his hand. "Think before you speak here. I've been told to offer you a deal. Think about your life before your dad left, think about it; the favored son, in line to become second one day. Reduced to the lowest position in the gang in a flash. Imagine what things would be like if you had your old life back."

"What are you saying?" Eddie asked eyes widening.

"I'm saying that everything can be erased if you give us what we want." Viper spoke, his gruff voice strangely alluring as he tried to reel the boy in. His betrayal would be one more bullet into Diego tonight and Viper could practically taste it, he was so close. "Aren't you tired of paying for the sins of your father?"

Anna could feel her breathing quicken. It was almost as though they were speaking in another language, she could tell that the men were there for her, to hurt her.

Swallowing tightly Eddie's lips pressed firmly together. So many thoughts were streaming through his brain at lightning speed that he could barely funnel them into coherent thought; yet when the decision was finally made it was done in an instant. Loosening his hold on Anna he took one step forwards. "I won't hurt her. And I won't stand by and watch."

"You aren't expected to." Viper replied smoothly, the look of an honest businessman on his face.

With a nod Eddie stepped further away from Anna, letting go of her completely before he steadily walked towards the nearest exit.

At first Anna thought that this had to be a trick. He was just trying to catch them off guard, say they'd given in then surprise them with an attack. He'd turn around and tell her to run at any second now. But as the men on either side of her closed their rough hands around her forearms she realized that he was going to be too late; if Eddie didn't do something quickly then his plan would fail. "EDDIE!" She called out as she felt more hands begin to grab at her; but Eddie didn't stop he didn't even flinch.

As Eddie disappeared from sight, a fight that Anna hadn't felt in so long filled her. "LET ME GO!" She shouted, jerking away from their every grasp and touch, smacking, anything that came near her.

"Calm down pretty one, this doesn't have to hurt." Smiley said as he gripped her arm more tightly.

Anna turned her head and spit in his face. "Diego will kill you if you harm me, he'll kill you."

A fury filled Smiley's eyes but the rest of the men laughed. Viper took a step towards her and turned her head to face him. "Angel couldn't do anything to us. We follow someone much higher up."

Slash grinned as his hands began to slip lower than just restraining her. "Yeah, the Bossman needs to learn how to keep his little bro following the rules. Alejandro better be careful or that little brother of his might challenge his authority for real. We're going to ensure that doesn't happen any time soon."

Shock reverberated through Anna. She was quick to piece it together; how after all could she have been so stupid not to realize it before. Diego's brother was the boss, she knew that. But Diego's brother was also Alejandro. Alejandro, Alex; Alex was the love of Cassie's life. Alex was Diego's brother, Alex was the boss, Cassie was in love with the mob boss.

In her moment of shock the men took advantage gripping onto her more tightly. As she snapped out of it she began to struggle but Slash and Smiley restrained her as Viper spoke. "You see if you're here, you're on our turf. And if a lady's on our turf she's open to all. In this family, we share." He spoke before licking her cheek very slowly.

Anna jerked against the men who held her but she could hardly move an inch. She was fighting them, fighting tears, fighting a breakdown but she knew she couldn't fight much longer. As a hand began to slip under her skirt she let out a blood curdling scream.

Viper leaned forwards and forced his mouth against hers, moving his tongue across her lips. Sliding further along her mouth across her jaw, and down her neck, he nipped her with his teeth as she struggled, her screams echoing in the warehouse. "Mmmm, tastes sweet." He spoke devouring her with his eyes. "We could call an end to this little party and head back to my apartment if you'd like. I know I'd enjoy utilizing the full pleasures of your body in the privacy of my home and of course my video camera."

Anna was struggling so hard she felt like she might claw his eyes out if she were let go. "I'd never willingly touch you, you sick perverted freak." She spat, delivering a swift kick to the shin.

Viper growled, baring his teeth at the young beauty. "Fine then." He snapped taking a step back. "Have at it boys." He gestured before taking yet another step backwards to watch her unwrapping.

"Let go of me." Anna screamed as she tried to struggle, her legs kicking wildly into the air as she tried to jerk free. But the men weren't letting go. She felt the strap of her dress be torn away as her skirt was hiked up. There were hands everywhere, jerking, ripping, grabbing and no matter how much she tried to fight she could feel the lips on her skin. Tears broke through as she screamed pleadingly. "NO! Please just stop, please."

She heard the jeering comments but they were mere echoes in her head mixing with the screams she knew were her own. Everything was in slow motion as she fought like hell to stop them from what they were trying to do. Mingled with this were flashes, flashes of something she couldn't remember though right now she couldn't seem to forget.

She was there but at the same time she wasn't.

A hand pulled her head backwards by her hair

_A man walked out as she cried for her Daddy not to leave. _

A mouth biting her delicate shoulder

_A tear fell on a page of a note she somehow knew was meant for her best friend. _

A pair of lips moving along her neck

_A restaurant bathroom as she shoved her fingers down her throat._

A tongue sliding into her ear

_A woman running fingers through her hair as she begged to stay with her father in France. _

A hand gripping her inner thigh

_A night in Tuscany crying because she knew he wasn't coming. _

A hand grabbed her breast under her shirt

_A red convertible as she wiped tears from her eyes because he didn't love her. _

A finger sliding into the band of her underwear

_A note in her hand that said she deserved more when all she wanted was him. _

A pair of lips slamming into hers

_A drunken night with an older man she hardly knew to prove someone still wanted her. _

A tongue forcing its way into her mouth

_A bouquet of peonies thrown at the feet of a man she knew she couldn't be with. _

A set of hands clutching her hair forcing her to return the kiss

_A boy walking away from her telling him she loved him a second time. _

A jerk on her underwear as she tried to keep her legs together

_A shock filling her body as she was slammed into the wall of an airplane as the man's brown hair disappeared into the wind. _

A tug on her zipper as her skirt was forced upwards.

_A strangled feeling in her lungs as they seemed to fill with water until they felt like they might burst. _

Time seemed to be moving slower and slower until the sound of a door slamming open seemed to cause it to freeze all together.

Anna's head snapped upwards as her eyes connected with the brown eyes in the doorway. Though the men hadn't let her go; in that moment she knew everything was going to be okay because he would never let someone hurt her. He would die first.

* * *

So before anyone gets too excited thinking that Anna's remembered I should go ahead and let you know that she hasn't. During the assault she was seeing flashes of her former life. Like for instance when she flashed to throwing peonies at Chuck's feet all she was seeing was his feet and the peonies landing there accompanied by the emotions she was feeling at the time. So basically in her time of pain/fear her other memories of pain and fear were forcing their way through. Kind of like a shattering of her psyche almost. If you haven't read the note I wrote about the line blurring at the start of the last chapter, I recommend checking it out because it's especially important in the following chapter.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter wonder who's there to save her. . .

I'd love it if you'd all review!

xoxo -kate


	26. You're All I Want

**Here's the next chapter – I think you'll all be pleased with it. To those of you who wrote hateful reviews before just know that you can feel free to stop reading at any time lol. Also, if you're reading my new fanfic, there's a poll on my profile about it so you should check it out.**

**To my reviewers: **AquarianAir, BellaB2010, miragrace93, LeftWriter224, ggoddess, Cecrecy, kayla, Krazy4Spike, Harrypotterfanforever123, ggloverxx19, Kels, cbfanforever, flazzy Cullen, Bloomerical, LovelyLydia, Miiz April, Imortalrunes, Sw33tHeart21, CarolinaGirl21, Lolaaa, GGfanficfan09, **and **SouthernBelle88. **You guys are amazing for sticking around with me thus far – I hope this chapter is worth the wait (I think you'll enjoy it). **

**Rating: M **because of a section near the end.

**Thanks to my amazing beta ggff-fan. **

* * *

**Chapter 26: You're All I Want  
**

Diego was slamming his fist into the man in front of his face with almost reckless abandon. He didn't want to be doing this but he knew in order to get back to Anna he had to or Alejandro would further detain him. He blacked out what he was really doing and for a moment pretended that it was his brother's face that he was hammering with his fists because that might just get him through this.

After the showdown earlier that evening Diego had been ready to hop in the first cab back to Anna when Alejandro had pulled him aside insisting that he go with him on a collection detail. Diego had tried to resist but Alejandro wasn't having it tonight so reluctantly Diego had gone along with it; not wanting Alejandro to realize that he was reluctant mostly because he'd left Anna at the Warehouse. With each passing second away from her he grew more worried; with only the knowledge that she was with Eddie reassuring him.

"I think that's enough." Alejandro spoke, his voice cutting through Diego's adrenaline and fear induced haze.

Immediately, Diego pulled back unable to resist seeing the damage he'd done to the poor man who'd done nothing but forget to pay protection fees. Diego was shaking as he looked at his brother, his voice barely a whisper. "He hasn't paid yet, he keeps saying he doesn't owe us anything."

Alejandro smirked. "That's because he doesn't. It's his brother who owes us money and I thought that I'd send a little message."

Diego's stomach lurched violently. The man he'd just beaten to a bloody pulp didn't even owe them any money. Nausea rushed through him as he looked down at his bloodied hands before locking eyes with Alejandro. "Then why am I here? Why me? If you were just trying to send a message why not send someone else?"

Alejandro practically snarled. "Because little Shadow I wanted to see if you could do it. That being said, hit him again."

Diego jerked backwards violently. "No." Wiping his hands on his shirt he practically growled his next words. "Alejandro you're sick."

"I said. Hit. Him. Again." Alejandro spoke through gritted teeth, leveling his gaze on Diego.

Diego's nostrils flared. "I'm outta here." He spat, turning to walk out only to find that his way was blocked. "What the fuck is this Alejandro?"

Inhaling and exhaling, Alejandro forced his breathing to slow. Diego's defiance had him on edge and his heart was racing a little too quickly for his liking. He didn't like to feel out of control and right now he was struggling to maintain it. Forcing a smile to his face, he took a step closer to Diego, stepping over the man on the ground. "So it's true. My brother has quite the weak stomach." Diego flinched but Alejandro threw an arm onto his shoulder forcing him to maintain eye contact. "Hit him again and you can go."

Every passing moment caused Diego's heart rate to pick up as a feeling of dread seemed to seep through his veins. Something was off about all of this and it was more than just Alejandro's menacing glare or the fact that his brother apparently knew his distaste for violence. The feeling was causing him to panic, to feel as though he had no other choice. He simply had to hit the man one last time and he could go. What was that in the face of the hundreds of other punches he'd thrown tonight? Bending down he threw a swift right hook to the groaning man before standing quickly and taking a step away from Alejandro. "Can I go now?" He asked nauseous at what he'd done as well as at the sight of the smirk on Alejandro's face.

Alejandro couldn't help but be pleased. Tonight had been exactly what he'd wanted it to be. Sure now of his brother's weaknesses, he'd exposed them and forced Diego against his moral code; now it was time to crush his spirit. "Certainly hermano, in fact you might want to hurry. I hear we're missing quite the party." He finished with a dark peal of laughter.

Confusion followed quickly by fear rushed through Diego's tired frame. ANNA! His brain suddenly screamed at him. That had been the missing piece, that was what had felt so off about all of this. "You sick fuck you set me up!" He shouted barreling towards Alejandro, feeling adrenaline as his fist connected.

The men who'd previously blocked Diego's way had him restrained within seconds as Alejandro rose to face his brother, grinning darkly as he stepped towards him.

"What did you do to her? What the hell did you do?" Diego screamed, jerking his arms as though he were crazed.

Alejandro smirked. "I didn't do anything. You're the one who left her unprotected at the Warehouse. You're the one to blame for whatever happens to her. And just think how much quicker you could have gotten to her if you had just thrown that last punch at the man or now when you wasted time and energy attacking the wrong person."

Diego looked like a mad dog fighting his chain as he struggled against the men. "If they hurt her I swear to God." He growled darkly.

Alejandro's lip curled tightly. "I don't think they had any intention of hurting her. They just want to have a little fun."

Realization dawning on Diego once more he felt desperation consume him. "Just let me go Alex, let me go to her. What do you want from me? I'll do whatever you want just let me go?"

"Beg." Alejandro spoke his voice low. "Beg me to let you go and then pray to God that you're in time."

His heart clenching painfully Diego stopped struggling and looked directly into his brother's eyes, not even trying to stop the hatred that he knew was coursing through his veins as he stared at his brother. "Please. Alex, please let me go to her. I love her."

Clapping his hands together Alejandro smiled. "Let him go boys. He's got a lot of ground to make up."

Diego immediately began running, the sound of Alejandro's laughter fading into the background. He prayed that this was all some kind of sick joke, some kind of test. His brother wouldn't do this to him, he wouldn't. But as many times as Diego repeated that in his mind he knew it was a lie because God damn him, Alejandro would. Which meant that Alejandro had been right about something else, this was all Diego's fault. He'd sworn never to involve her in this world, never to let her get hurt, to always protect her at all costs and tonight he'd done the opposite. If he didn't make it in time he'd never forgive himself, ever.

* * *

Chuck's glare was murderous as he advanced into the room, flocked by body guards bearing machine guns pointed directly at the gang members. He struggled to maintain his calm as wrath filled his entire being. He tried to control it as it was causing him to shake with rage. How dare they touch her, how dare they lay even one filthy finger on her.

He had to keep cool; he had to stay calm for Anna. "Take your hands off her. Now." He spoke, enunciating every word so that there would be no misunderstanding.

Instantly Anna felt the hands around her release her and a chill rush through her as they begin to back away the heat of their bodies leaving her. Shakily she took a few steps forward, escaping their reach completely. Realizing they weren't going to grab for her she found herself running. Her eyes never left Chuck's as she threw herself into his arms, holding on for dear life.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly as he held her to him. Relief filling him that she was here in his arms, safe from whatever evils she'd just endured. He was still shaking with anger and fear but clutching her to him was the only way he knew to abate that sensation.

Anna nodded into his shoulder. "Thanks to you."

Nodding slowly Chuck pulled his head back slightly to make eye contact. "Let's get out of here."

Anna nodded and watched as Chuck turned to face the men while still tightly holding her hand. "My friends here are going to stick around and make sure you don't follow us." He said gesturing to the twenty or so men with guns trained on the mob guys. "If you move, they'll shoot you. If you come near Anna ever again, I assure you you'll wish you were dead." He finished before turning, slipping his arm around Anna's shoulders and walking out of the warehouse.

It was as they walked outside and the chill of the night air overcame her that Anna began to break down. Stopping she pulled Chuck tightly to her once more as she started to cry into his chest. "I was so scared." She spoke through her tears which had come back so quickly. "I don't want to think about what would have happened if you hadn't shown up."

"Me neither." Chuck spoke as he held her close. He didn't like that they were still so close to the Warehouse but at the same time he knew that his men would take care of it if anyone tried to follow them so for the time being he remained where he was holding her tightly. His heart was still racing. The fear that had been radiating through his body when Tyler had called him earlier was only softened by the physicality of her embrace. She was here in his arms, she was safe.

Anna exhaled shakily, still clutching tightly to his shirt. She didn't know how or why Chuck had shown up only that she was more thankful that he had than of anything in her life. And now as they stood there, there was an ache in her body that needed to be near him, needed to have him hold her. Something about their embrace seemed to make the world right again.

Anna was still holding onto Chuck when they both heard the sound of running feet on gravel, the fast crunching noise as shoes forced the gravel to flatten. Both of their heads rose looking for the source of the noise, seeing a quickly approaching figure shirt covered with blood that was clearly not his own.

Anna's stomach turned as she looked at Diego. His hair was a tousled sweaty mess, his jacket torn, his shirt splattered with blood, his hands raw from physical use. He'd left her there with those monsters completely undefended and he'd been out hurting people? She was sickened. He was coming to a startled stop in front of her, seemingly surprised that she was standing out here with Chuck.

"Oh thank God you're safe." Diego spoke as he realized that the figure outside of the Warehouse was Anna. He'd been running for seven blocks but he hadn't even felt the burn of the run, all he had cared about was getting to Anna in time. He didn't care that she was next to Chuck, that Chuck was there at all barely even registered with him because all he could see was Anna.

Walking forwards he reached out to touch her, to pull her to him because he knew that only then would he really relax. But she leaned into Chuck, away from him. "Anna…" He started, surprised at what was clearly her dismissal.

"No." Anna interrupted surprised by the strength in her voice.

Diego smiled in confusion, the adrenaline still pounding through his system as he reached for her again; but this time Anna slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me." She spat, slightly taken about by her own certainty. The thought of Diego touching her now or ever again made her skin crawl. Feeling her body lean into Chuck's even more she spoke. "You're glad I'm safe? Well if Chuck hadn't shown up I wouldn't be."

Diego's brow furrowed as fear began to work its way back through his system. It was then that he took in her appearance. Chuck had draped a suit jacket over her shoulders but he wasn't blind, he could still see. It was as though his brain was finally catching up to his body, they'd hurt her. Her clothes were torn, her hair was disheveled, and her eyes red from tears she'd already shed. She wasn't okay. But he wasn't losing Anna, he couldn't be. Alex couldn't cost him the only woman he'd ever loved. "Anna it's not my fault. I had no idea they'd show up. Eddie was supposed to protect you."

Anna shook her head, holding tightly to Chuck. Her voice low as she spoke. "Eddie was persuaded to jump ship rather quickly."

"Damn it." Diego cursed, thinking that he'd be getting Eddie back in due time, whatever the cost. "I was set up Anna. They tricked me, they wanted me to lose you."

Anna shrugged one hand clutching Chuck's, the other holding his jacket to her, a jacket she didn't even realize he'd placed around her. "Then their plan worked because I'm done." She spoke, without a doubt.

Diego took a staggering step forward. His vision was blurring as the shock ricocheted through him. His heart was pounding loudly in his chest but that's all he could hear as it seemed to take him over. "Don't do this Anna . . . I love you."

"I can't be with someone who can't protect me." Anna replied immediately. Knowing that he didn't see, that he didn't get it. Her world was sharp, the colors and images so bright it was almost painful, it was as though the world had suddenly snapped into focus and as staggeringly painful as it was she was experiencing both a visual and mental clarity she'd never felt before. It was with this clarity that she spoke, her tone as harsh as her words. "You have no idea what I just went through. They were going to rape me and it was because you pissed them off."

Diego looked as though he were about to speak, the world before him continuing to blur in confusion. But Anna stopped him, speaking words that made him want to die. "If Chuck had been five minutes later they would have."

A different kind of anger began to course through him at her last statement and Diego recognized it well; it was jealousy. Jealousy that it had been Chuck to get there, it had been Chuck to save her, and now it was Chuck that she was clinging tightly to."So what, you're just going to run to him?" He shouted gesturing at Chuck. "Without even giving me the chance to explain, the chance to show you that this isn't my fault."

For the first time, Chuck became worried about what Diego might do. He knew the other man, knew that he could be dangerous if you provoked him enough and right now Diego looked as though he might explode. Diego was like a simmering volcano, he had been from the time Chuck had known him. Chuck knew that was why Diego was afraid of violence, Chuck knew it was because Diego feared the rush, feared what it might do to him. "Calm down man." He spoke stepping towards him. "I'll take Anna home and then we can all talk about it tomorrow."

Anna shook her head. It was as though she were waking up from a long black and white dream and for the first time this was real life, like Dorothy emerging from her house after landing in Oz - the real world was technicolor and it was crystal clear. "No, we don't need to talk tomorrow. I never want to see you again." She said her voice low and raw from her earlier screams.

Both men's faces lit with shock at her words. Chuck was surprised at her assuredness while Diego looked as though he'd just been punched. "Anna. . ." Chuck started. He didn't want her to be around Diego either; especially not after what had happened tonight but he knew he had to let her make that decision herself. He wouldn't push too hard and push her away.

But Anna just shook her head and stared at Chuck. "This is something I have to do Chuck."

Diego clasped his hand over his chest. "You promised you'd always choose me." He spoke, the words almost fragmented, laced with pain.

Anna held tightly to Chuck as she spoke. She wasn't quite afraid of Diego but she still wanted the added support of Chuck's embrace. "And you promised me I'd be safe. I guess we both lied."

Diego stood there, close to tears not knowing what to say. When he didn't say anything she started to walk away and he reached out and grabbed her arm almost involuntarily. "Don't go." He pleaded.

Anna felt the chills rush through her that she'd feared before as she quickly jerked her arm from his. "Don't ever touch me again. Stay the hell away from me Diego, I mean it." She spat, her voice somewhere between a cry and a growl.

He wanted to beg her to stay but it was clear she wouldn't listen and at the moment Chuck was looking at him with a glare that could kill.

Taking Chuck's hand Anna began to walk away, barely pausing her movements as she said. "Goodbye Diego."

As she walked away Diego felt himself fall apart. Everything he'd done had been for nothing. All the lies, all the manipulations, it was all for naught. He didn't want to be part of this fucking family, he didn't want to hurt people, and most of all he didn't want to lose Anna. He dropped to his knees as his head fell into his hands. He'd lost everything.

* * *

Sliding into the limo, Anna immediately scooted closely to Chuck. In that moment there was still a part of her that felt like she needed to be near him to keep it together.

"Are you okay?" Chuck asked softly as they limo began to drive. He still had an arm wrapped around Anna's shoulders but he reached over with his other hand and turned her face to his. He needed to see her eyes - needed to know that this wasn't something that would break her.

Nodding ever so slightly, when Anna spoke her voice was stronger than she expected. "Thanks to you, yes."

Chuck's heart should be racing at a mile a minute but for some reason in that moment he was completely at peace. Bending his head forward he rested his forehead against hers, inhaling deeply and letting her scent erase any remaining fears. "I don't know what I would have done. I think I would have killed them with my bare hands if I'd been too late."

There was no doubt in Anna's mind that he was telling the truth, she could feel it down to her core. "How did you know?" She asked as she continued to breathe him in.

Sighing slightly, Chuck pulled back to meet her gaze. "Don't freak out." He warned as he got ready to tell her about the PI's.

Anna tilted her head confused as she met his gaze. "I won't." She spoke confidently though she didn't yet know what he was referring to.

"Since the day you came down to the warehouse, I've had a couple of PI's on Diego." Chuck spoke calmly, hoping that she'd understand that he'd only done it to protect her, especially since he'd turned out to be right. He heard her emit a small gasp but he continued. "I was worried that he was involving you too much in his line of business and the last thing I wanted was for you to get hurt."

Anna's eyes were wide as she realized what Chuck was saying. He'd had Diego followed. Though she couldn't begin to be mad or offended because clearly he was right.

Continuing when he realized that Anna wasn't going to panic Chuck's voice became more conversational. "Today one of my PI's approached me that there was something big going down and I knew that you had plans with Diego so I was extra careful, I had a team of security at the ready near the warehouse and as soon as I got confirmation that you were there I started down here. When I found out that Diego had left you there by yourself - that's when I called my guys."

Nodding Anna found herself lacing her fingers through those of his right hand as his other hand stroked her cheek. "Thank you." She spoke softly knowing that he understood that she wasn't just thanking him for saving her but for caring enough about her to do all of that for her.

"For you, anything." Chuck spoke as his thumb grazed her jaw. He felt their connection just then and wanted nothing more than to kiss her but after the night she'd had he didn't want her to think he was taking advantage of the situation so instead he drew back. "Where do you want to go? Home?"

Anna couldn't help the disappointment that rushed through her, she knew that he was about to kiss her, she could feel the tension between them as her gaze had locked with his but he'd pulled back. "Not home." She said with a shake of her head. "I need somewhere that I can forget. Take me somewhere I can escape." She spoke with a look in his direction.

Chuck smirked. "I have the perfect place." As he spoke he picked up a dark box from the bench of the limo seat and handed it to her. "I bought this for you in case you changed your mind about the party tonight."

Anna took the box from him, unsure of what she might find, she carefully opened the lid. The first thing she noticed was the mask. Intricately designed with what might be real diamonds accenting what could only be considered a piece of art. "Chuck…" She began, her voice laced with awe.

"The dress matches." He spoke softly. "What better way to escape then to go somewhere no one expects you to be and wearing a mask so that no one knows who you are."

Nodding quickly. Anna moved aside the tissue paper to stare at the gown. "Let's do this." She spoke her voice filled with excitement. Her life was changing at a rapid fire pace but for some reason it didn't bother her, in fact she felt more at ease now than she had in a long time.

* * *

As Diego stepped from the shower he could barely stand to see his reflection in the mirror. He didn't know how he was moving, how he was walking when there was so much pain coursing through him. Anna was done, he'd lost her. Everything he'd done to keep her had been for nothing because now she was with Chuck doing God knows what. And worse, because of his idiocy and pride she'd been hurt. If he hadn't agreed to let her come to the warehouse none of this would be happening.

Everything felt like a bad dream as Diego forced himself to dress. He kept feeling as though any moment he'd wake up and everything would be okay again. Anna wouldn't be gone and it wouldn't be his fault. But he knew it wasn't a dream he knew this was real. The only thing he could think to do was drink to dull the pain. So he headed to the only bar he could seem to think of at the moment, the only bar where he thought he might see her.

Walking into the Palace Hotel he prayed to see her there. Prayed that she was just holding to Chuck earlier because he'd saved her, that now she might have reconsidered. But of course he knew it wasn't true. He knew that she and Chuck had an intense attraction and now that he was out of the way there was nothing stopping them from being together.

Taking a seat at the bar which was unsurprisingly devoid of Anna's presence, Diego ordered the strongest drink he knew and began to wash away the pain he was feeling. Liquor was the one thing he knew that might ease the throbbing in his heart; so he drank and he drank.

He drank until his reflection in the glass before him became a bit blurred. Drank until he wasn't alone anymore. Drank until Sam had taken a seat next to him at the bar.

"What's wrong with you?" Sam asked as she observed Diego's figure. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that that was not his first glass.

"Thought you were going to some party tonight." He spat in response noting that Sam did appear to be wearing some kind of gown.

Sam exhaled. "I was. But Cassie bailed when she found out what happened with Anna earlier and I wasn't feeling like going solo. Speaking of Anna, where is she? I thought you guys were doing something tonight."

Diego clutched the glass in his hand more tightly. "Anna hates me."

"Join the club. I bet I get to be the president." Sam snapped back as she sat down.

For the first time Diego turned his gaze to meet hers. "That's right. You slept with Jackson."

"The ultimate betrayal." Sam spoke quietly.

Diego shook his head. "No, I win. I let her go to the warehouse. She got hurt."

Sam flinched slightly. "Is she okay?"

"Thanks to Chuck." Diego practically growled.

Nodding, Sam looked at him. "I think I still win."

Diego narrowed his gaze unsure of what Sam was about to say. "What could be worse than leaving the woman you love to be ambushed and attacked by thugs?"

Running a hand through her fiery locks Sam exhaled, feeling the sting of tears in her throat. "I didn't sleep with Jackson once. We slept together for over a year."

"I still win." Diego said taking another swig of his drink.

Sam shrugged as she ordered a drink of her own. "Let's say we tied."

Diego gave her a curt nod. "Deal." For a moment they sat their quietly both drinking before Diego looked back at Sam. "You really are a bitch you know. Why the hell would you sleep with your best friend's boyfriend repeatedly? Don't tell me you're in love with Jackson."

Sam sighed loudly. "No I'm not in love with Jackson. It had nothing to do with that at all." Pausing for a moment she struggled to find the words she was looking for. "I think I was just tired of losing. Anna always one upped me, always. She was the president of every club, the captain of every team. She had the guy, she had the life and a part of me just wanted to take a part of that from her. It's not that I don't care about her or wanted to hurt her, I just wanted to win at something."

Diego felt himself ease because honestly he identified. Anna was perfection and it was hard to measure up to perfection. He knew that and knew that if she ever knew who she was she'd never give him another glance - he wasn't perfect like her. "I get it." He spoke quietly his voice raw.

Sam turned to look at him and felt herself opening up in a way that she never did. "I took Jackson because he wanted me; because I'd give him what Anna wouldn't but he wasn't the one I wanted. Of all the guys Anna ever attracted the only one I really wanted was you." Her voice failed her on the last few words and they were nothing but air but she knew he heard her anyway.

Diego felt the monster inside him roar as he perceived Sam before him. She was hot, she was there, and she wanted him. Unlike Anna. Anna who was with Chuck right now. Anna who told him that she never wanted to see him again. Screw her. And with that he was kissing Sam, with that he was willfully throwing it all away.

* * *

Chuck withheld a gasp as she emerged from the back offices of Victrola. He'd brought her in the back door so that she could get changed without anyone knowing she was here - he wanted to keep his word after all - then he'd left to walk amongst the party, ensuring that things were running smoothly. Now as he watched her emerge his heart almost quit beating.

She was a vision in white. The one shoulder dress fell across her frame, hugging her in all the right places. She'd pulled her hair half back and donned the mask; she was an angel. The dress which was lined with sliver called to mind another dress, this one silver with a large bow on its shoulder. Chuck flinched as he resisted a flash to another time, another reality. For once he didn't want to be anywhere but here.

_**I'm running out of ways to make you see  
I want you to stay here, beside me **_

"You are beautiful." He spoke softly as he approached her. Taking her gloved hand in his and placing upon it one chaste kiss.

Pursing her lips Anna looked around anxiously. "I have a bruise on my arm."

Meeting her eyes Chuck sought out the bruise before laying his lips there ever so briefly. "You're beautiful." He repeated. Unsurprised that she was bruised, more surprised that there was only one.

_**I won't be ok and I won't pretend I am  
So just tell me today and take my hand  
Please take my hand  
Please take my hand**_

Motioning to a waiter Chuck procured them each a glass of champagne. "Shall we?" He asked extending his arm outwards towards the room which was the picture of devilish decadence.

"We shall." Anna replied before taking his arm and allowing him to lead her around the room.

_**Just say yes  
Just say there's nothing holding you back**_

As they walked they observed and they judged. The party appeared to be in full swing. Everyone there was indulging in their most base desires under the guise of their mask. Anna was surprised she was unable to recognize anyone, certain that there were probably those there she might know. The dancers on stage were engaging in more elaborate routines than ever before as the debauchery around them seemed to escalate with each passing minute.

A few glasses of champagne later, Chuck was spinning her along a makeshift dance floor in almost a waltz. Anna spun, laughing brightly as Chuck caught her. The world was glittering brightly around her and she had this extreme happiness bubbling up inside her. She smiled brightly at him, the champagne rushing to her head as her eyes connected with his. She felt like this was all a beautiful dream, like this couldn't possibly be real.

_**It's not a test  
Nor a trick of the mind only love**_

"I never want this to end." She spoke a smile lighting her face.

"It never has to." Chuck spoke, his voice a low rumble. Tonight with Anna had been surreal. It had been perfection. He could see it in her eyes that she was happy here with him and her being here filled him with something intangible, something that couldn't even be described. Though at the same time it brought back so many memories, memories of another brunette spinning around in a pretty dress.

_**It's so simple and you know it is, you know it is  
We can't be to and fro like this, all our lives **_

Leaning into him, Anna laid her head against his chest. Though as she did she let her gaze wander to the stage where the dancers were still performing. She looked at them appraisingly for a moment before her voice spoke almost unconsciously, like an afterthought. "You know, I've got moves."

"Hmm?" Chuck asked for clarification, sure he'd misheard what he thought she'd said, certain that her words had only been muffled by his shirt.

Pulling back Anna looked at him gesturing with her head towards the dancers, laughing as she did. "I'm just saying I have moves."

_**You're the only way to me  
The path is clear **_

Chuck knew he hadn't misheard her, knew she'd said what he thought she'd said. His whole body seemed to react to her words and something other than his brain seemed to take over completely. "Then why don't you go up there. You're ten times hotter than any of those girls."

Laughing Anna's head tilted back, hardly believing what he was suggesting. "You don't think I'd do it do you?"

Shaking his head, Chuck knew he was lost but he didn't care. "I know you won't do it." He said though it wasn't true. On some level he knew she would.

Anna smirked before lifting an eyebrow. "Challenge accepted Bass." She said as she turned and began walking towards the stage, holding the end of her gown as she climbed up the steps.

_**What do I have to say to you, for god sake dear  
For god sake dear  
For god sake dear  
For god sake dear**_

Chuck's world was dancing before him in a magical glow. Reality and dream were blending until he didn't know which was which. Was he here? Was this happening? Was that Anna or Blair he was watching move on stage. He watched as she touched her zipper. Amazed as it slid down her body. He refused to blink for fear the vision before him would disappear as the dress dropped to the floor.

Her hips swung as she moved on stage in only her undergarments. Anna had never felt more free, more alive. There was an indescribable rush that accompanied her act of emancipation. She wasn't sure what she was freeing herself from but she knew in that moment that whatever it was she had succeeded. Her mask was still covering her face as she fingered the tops of her stockings, still concealing her identity from everyone other than Chuck. But she was done hiding. So slowly she reached up and untied the strings holding it to her face and tossed the mask out into the crowd.

_**Just say yes  
Just say there's nothing holding you back **_

Chuck toasted her as he'd done so many times in his dreams and his visions, just as he'd done so many years ago in reality. He watched entranced as Anna or Blair or whoever she was finished her dance and began to walk down the stage towards him.

Anna approached Chuck quickly, her gaze never breaking from his. It was then while she was looking into his eyes that she remembered seeing his eyes as he tore into the warehouse to save her - remembering what she knew in that moment, what she'd been guessing for so long.

_**It's not a test  
Nor a trick of the mind only love  
Just say yes **_

Reaching him, she wrapped her hands around his neck and removed his mask as well. She needed to see him for what she was about to say next. "I'm falling in love with you." She spoke, her voice filled with a certainty she hadn't known she possessed until that moment.

Chuck could barely breathe let alone think as she stood before him, gazes locking as he took her in. "I want you and only you." He spoke answering the question she'd asked him at the Opera. He didn't know whether or not it was the truth but he was past the point of caring because right now, in this moment, Anna was everything.

Rising to her toes Anna brought her lips next to Chuck's ear and whispered quietly. "Take me home Chuck."

_**Cause I'm aching I know you are too  
For the touch, of your warm skin as I breathe you in**_

Nodding he took her hand, leading her quickly out of the club, knowing Arthur would be waiting with the limo. Opening the door for her, he watched as she slid inside. His heart was racing as he joined her. He could barely control himself all he wanted in that moment was to be touching her; but he knew like before that it was her move to make. But her next words changed everything.

"Thanks for everything tonight." She spoke, her eyes filled with sincerity as she began to scoot closer to him, knowing what she was doing yet at the same time having no idea.

_**I can feel your heartbeat through my shirt  
This was all I wanted, all I want **_

Chuck's heart throbbed in his ears as he looked at her. "You were…amazing up there."

Any doubts she had were erased as she moved towards Chuck and placed her lips gently against his. "I want you." She spoke her voice barely a whisper.

That was all the affirmation he needed as he brought his lips to hers. The world could have been exploding around him and he wouldn't have known because it was just them and that was all that mattered; that was all that had ever mattered. Nothing about the kiss was slow or gentle as his lips claimed hers.

_**It's all I want  
It's all I want  
It's all I want  
It's all I want**_

Anna clutched tightly to him as he flipped her over, this was real and this was right and it was perfect. He layered kisses along her jaw as she positioned her body to be touching him all over. The feel of his hands on her was exquisite, the opposite of everything she'd felt earlier that night when those men touched her. He cherished her, she could feel it with every fiber of her being.

As gentle as he wanted to be, in that moment Chuck could barely restrain himself. There was a feeling of urgency powering through his body because this was something he'd wanted for so long and now that they were finally together, he needed her more than ever. His hands moved quickly to remove her undergarments, unsnapping the clasp on her bra and removing it he marveled at her beauty. "You're perfect." He spoke, his voice unnaturally raw.

_**Just say yes  
Just say there's nothing holding you back **_

Pulling back only slightly Anna looked into his eyes. Placing her hands on either side of his face she smiled at what she saw reflected there. Inhaling deeply she tilted her chin upwards and kissed him, wrapping her hands tightly into his dark hair; before flipping them until she was now sitting on his lap.

Chuck ran his hands up the sides of her body as he kissed her with everything he had. The moment felt electrically charged as though to stop touching her would be torture. Arching his hips slightly he brushed his hardness against her center.

_**It's not a test  
Nor a trick of the mind, only love **_

Anna gasped as she broke their current kiss, barely managing to breathe as she spoke. "I'm a virgin." She gasped almost unwillingly.

Chuck froze instantly, pulling his head back to meet her gaze, looking for whatever it was she was saying in her eyes.

In that moment Anna smiled feeling as though she was home. "I didn't stay stop, I just wanted you to know."

_**Just say yes  
Cause I'm aching and I know you are too **_

Reaching up with his hands, Chuck cupped her face tenderly, his gaze never breaking hers. "You sure?" He asked softly, aware that this was only the second girl he'd ever said those words to.

In response, Anna leaned forwards and kissed him ready and willing to give him everything as she realized that the sharpness and clarity she'd felt before hadn't abated. She'd awakened from a long lonely dream and this was reality. This is where she wanted to be and who she wanted to be with.

_**For the touch  
Of your warm skin as I breath you in**_

As Anna kissed him, Chuck lost himself in her all over again. He knew in that moment that he was giving her everything that he would always give her everything. Drawing her down under him, Chuck handled her as though she were the most precious thing in the world because to him she was. She was more than that, she was his world. There was a part of him that couldn't believe this was real but as he entered her and felt their heated skin connecting in every way possible he knew that no dream could be as excruciatingly beautiful as this.

Gasping she cried out as he moved inside of her. Digging her nails into his back she moved against him in a pleasure so strong that it rivaled pain. And as their desire took them over she let herself go and truly let herself feel every ounce of passion that she knew was there and every other feeling that seemed to be overwhelming her. Causing her to realize that for the first time she could remember she was completely content.

**Spotted: a pair of unmasked beauties fleeing the masked ball. Who'd have thought A would have more in common with B than just her looks? From what I hear it was C to the rescue tonight when A found herself a damsel in distress, perhaps our Dark Knight has been resurected? Only time will tell.**

xoxo  
Gossip Girl

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**Soooooo I hope you liked it, let me know what you think . Also the song is Just Say Yes by Snow Patrol.**

**I'd love it if you'd review!**

**xoxo - kate**


	27. Déjà vu

So here's the next update to the Reality They Live With. This chapter has a heavy focus on Anna and Chuck. Every scene will contain at least one of them. To those of you that asked and I posted little teasers for coming chapters you've been looking forward to this chapter for a very long time. As I told my beta (and she agreed) this chapter is a **complete game changer** in the sense that many secrets will soon not be secrets any longer ;)

To those of you who've read multiple of my fanfics you probably know that there are certain things about Chuck and Blair that I like to think are true even if they aren't. To everyone else I just felt like I should throw them out there so you get my basis for a lot of where my stories come from:  
- They are meant to be (which isn't that much of a stretch from the show).  
- They were close friends all through their childhood - that they shared a bond that none of the other characters shared.  
- Chuck has always carried a torch for Blair and only slept around so much because she was completely off limits and he never found another girl who measured up.  
- Chuck saw Blair's bulimia when no one else did because he saw her when no one else did and Blair was the only one who really saw that Chuck was more than the womanizing and scheming.  
- I like to think that Chuck visits St. Patrick's on occasion to light a candle for his mom on his birthday. Also in my mind that woman in season three is not Chuck's mother.

Those of you who read my fanfic's probably already knew all of this but for those who didn't I'm sorry if I operate on one of these ideas without really giving a basis for it lol.

**To my reviewers**: Krazy4Spike, leah, Kels, lovley-thalia, simran-es, AquarianAir, bfan, Mrs. Bass, Cecrecy, Lolaaaa, CarolinaGirl21, HarryPotterfanforeverr123, LovelyLydia, Nicole Lovely, ggloverxx19, SouthernBelle88, LeftWriter224, wcb-lover, GGfanficfan09, Sw33tHeart21, LitPrincess2787, G, GossipGirlFan03, annablake, Julia, AJVJ, Valentina, Wictoria, EvelynC, CASSANDRA, olimgossip, jamieerin, vmp87, Onelessthan3you, and Eimxx. **The number of reviews for this chapter was absolutely incredible and I must say that the anonymous review throttle was actually quite motivating to whichever of you was responsible for that. Thank you all for being so patient with me, I hope that this chapter was worth the wait (I have a suspicion it will be . . .) - One note, if you write me an anonymous review and ask a question I hope you realize that I can't actually answer them, so if you actually want an answer sign in lol. **

Disclaimer: I don't own gossip girl or the characters.  
Rated: T+ not quite M but close

**To my beta ggff-fan**, you are amazing and I don't know what I would do without you! Not to mention that she got this chapter back to me within like 24 hours of me sending it to her.

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**Chapter 27 – Déjà vu**

_There was water, she could hear it rushing around her ears. Everything was black but she could hear the water. It was a roar at times as it crashed against her. That's when she felt it, surrounding her, covering her, tossing her body. It was warm, wrapping around her like a blanket even as it knocked her body about. But why was she in the water and why did her head feel like she'd been hit across the head with a pair of Manolos. _

_She gasped as realization washed over her, just as a large wave rocked her and it filled her mouth with water, salt water. Her eyes flew open as yet another wave slammed into her body. She coughed and tried to breath but as soon as she did more water filled her lungs. And just like that she was sliding under. She didn't have the energy to stay afloat without air. She fought, her body jerking against the waves until a memory seemed to surface. This time when she opened her eyes the world had shifted. She'd gone from thrashing in the water to standing upright waist deep. The black sky of the storm had given way to a perfectly clear day with the hot sun of early summer warming her shoulders. And there was a boy there, a boy with brown eyes and angular features. _

_"You don't want to get your hair wet?" The boy said with a teasing smirk._

_She shook her head, looking away, brown curls bouncing around her face. "This is not about my hair." _

_The boy took a step closer. "Then why won't you go further in the water?" He asked gesturing around. _

_They were in the ocean but not that far. The water hit her small hips. She turned back towards shore and saw that no one was there, no one was watching, there were nannies but they were lying on their stomachs tanning. She looked back at the boy and she pursed her lips. Then looking over his shoulder she saw them. Two blonde children, one boy and one girl splashing in the water, dunking one another under, and a sense of longing filled her. _

_The brown hair boy frowned. "She's just like a sparkly object, he'll get bored." _

_She shook her head slightly. "He thinks she's more fun than me." _

_His forehead creased the boy leaned forwards. "Then show him he's wrong." _

_Meeting the boys brown eyes her brow furrowed. She didn't know what to say, didn't know if she could admit the truth or if he would only use it against her later. But he was being nice. "I'm scared." _

_The boy tilted his head, scoffing. "That's ridiculous, you're the strongest swimmer I know." _

_She bit her lip and took a step towards him. "Maybe in the pool, but the ocean, that's different. There's the undertow and the waves, the ocean's bigger than me." _

_The boy nodding realizing immediately what she was scared of. He remembered now, remembered the parents talking about how she'd gone out too far while on vacation, how the waves had pulled her under. "C'mon, I want to show you something." He said extending his hand. "I'll keep you safe, I promise." _

_She was timid, unsure, but something in her made her trust that he'd keep her safe, so she placed her own small hand in his._

_Leading her gently into the water, the brown haired boy stopped when the water came up to each of their chest. He watched as she flinched when the first big wave rolled in and held her hand more tightly. "No, don't. Just be." _

_She slowed and looked at him, trusting him completely in that moment. "Okay." She spoke, letting her body relax. _

_Nodding he took her other hand in his, careful to keep his eyes on how far out they were. "When the waves come, roll with them. Don't fight it. And if you ever get too far out, when the next wave comes push yourself with it, let it take you back to shore." _

_Snapping back into the present she remembered the boy's words and she slowed her movements, she stopped fighting the waves and let herself float in the water. She wasn't sure how long she floated before she saw it. A floating object that looked like a door or something. She was so tired and her head was pounding and all she wanted was to sleep but she knew that if she fell asleep now everything would be over and she couldn't fail him. So instead she waited for the next wave, she waited then pushed her body into it, letting it carry her to the floating object, letting it carry her to somewhere safe. _

Anna felt her body awaken leisurely as sunlight warmed her skin, she smiled at the dream she'd just had the dream about the little boy. Naturally, she began stretching, arching her spine ever so slightly. It was in that moment that she became aware of a strange sensation. Something heavy was resting on her hip. Shifting slightly she found that whatever it was didn't move. She slowly began to open her eyes only to snap them open when she realized just what was laying across her body.

Oh my God, she'd slept with Chuck the night before. Instantly her mind was back into the limo, where'd she'd fallen asleep following the single most magical experience of her life. She'd given her virginity to Chuck Bass. Looking back at his face over her shoulder she remembered that he'd offered to take her home but she'd been the one to suggest they come back here to his suite. Just as suddenly her mind went back to her dream, realizing that it had been more than a dream, it had been a memory.

Once more the words running through her mind were _Oh my God_. She couldn't believe it, this had never happened before. Yes overtime the details of the original dream, of the plane crash had sharpened, she'd remembered certain things, most recently the scarf, or gradually begun to make out more words but never this. She'd never known anything past the crash.

Internally she began to panic. Too much was happening too quickly. Last night she'd made one of the biggest decisions of her life completely impulsively. She was never impulsive, at least not with big things. She was a planner. But in one night's time she'd been assaulted, had broken up with Diego, and had slept with Chuck. And now she lay in Chuck's bed after having had the first new dream she'd had in years. It was too much to process.

Slowly, she lifted Chuck's arm, careful to gently replace it as she slid across the sheets. She heard him exhale and for a moment she thought for sure she'd woken him. She paused instantly, staring at him to see if he was about to wake up. When his breathing returned to normal she stood and took in her surroundings. Looking down she realized she was simply wearing a shirt of his because that's all she'd been wearing when she exited his limo the night before. Her gown was at the club and her clothes from the night before had been ruined.

Swallowing tightly she looked around the room, trying to think of a way to clothe herself that wasn't too obvious. She couldn't seem to form coherent thoughts. Everything was mixed together in her mind. Part of her would love to just climb back in bed and fall asleep against Chuck but she wasn't sure how she felt about last night. Her state of mind had been altered and what happened at the Warehouse . . . That was a whole other issue. Then the dream, the dream that didn't make sense. Could it be that the dream had just been that, a dream?

She was shaking as she slipped into Chuck's closet and took a belt, using it to tighten his dress shirt turning it into something that resembled a dress. Looking back at Chuck she felt a pang - she wasn't trying to upset him by leaving, but she knew that she needed to get her thoughts together before she spoke to him or else who knew what she might say or do and the way her mind was racing trying to piece things together made her think that there was a lot she needed to figure out. So she picked up her purse from where it sat on the floor and made her way out of the room.

With one last glance at Chuck, still asleep, she couldn't help but note that he had a small smile tugging at his lips and just as she slipped out the door, she felt the same smile on her own even through the mixture of emotions and thoughts that were flooding her.

Closing the door quietly she was hit by another memory one in which she stood laughing outside this very door, right after she'd arrived in New York City, the night they'd taken a wrong turn down the hallway. It seemed so long ago, she'd been so innocent it seemed - she'd seen so much in so little time. There was so much that she'd lost, she didn't want to lose anything else.

Just like that her feet were moving without much thought or consideration of her own. Turning down the hallway she was quick to remove the key she still had to their old suite of rooms. She needed someone to talk to to sort this out, possibly more than that she needed some clothes and she knew where she could find both. The past was the past, today was a new day, it could be a new start.

Sliding the key into the lock she couldn't help the smile that formed on her features. It was going to be a new beginning for all of them she could feel it. Thinking of the dream she realized for the first time that it hadn't been a nightmare, it had ended with hope. And that's what soothed her as she began to turn the nob. Just as she opened the door she remembered, it was November 1st, her birthday. Her smile brightened, it was only fitting that the new start came with the new year of her life.

Excited she pushed open the doorway. "Get out of bed bitch I need to talk to you . . . And borrow some clothes." She added with a laugh as she practically fell into the room. What she saw made her stop short, mouth opening a fraction in surprise. The words that came to her mouth were a shock. "Happy Birthday to me."

"ANNA!" Sam shouted as she sat up in bed grasping the sheet tightly to her body. Her head was pounding, her mouth was dry and she knew without looking that a naked Diego was stirring in the bed next to her; while Anna was standing in the doorway staring at them both with wide doe eyes.

Diego groaned slightly as his eyes began to open, the world was always slightly blurry in the morning but the moment he heard Anna's name it pulled him all the way out of his slumber. "What do you mean Anna. . . " He started staring up at Sam before his eyes landed on the figure in the doorway. "Oh shit." He spat as his vision cleared completely.

Sam started to scramble for any article of clothing she could pull on but struggled with keeping the sheets over them. "This isn't . . ."

Anna raised an eyebrow daring her to finish. Sam took the hint and stayed silent, which Anna took advantage of. "You've got to be kidding me."

Sam was shaking as she met Anna's gaze. "I'm sorry." She spoke softly. "I thought. . ."

"I don't care what you thought!" Anna practically shouted.

"Anna. . ." Diego started, rising from the bed as he'd managed to recover his boxers.

"DON'T TALK TO ME!" She screamed at Diego. "Ever again. I don't know you and from now on you don't know me."

Walking into the closet she grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweater before reemerging, to see both Diego and Sam standing. Sam had moved between her and the door. "I came here for a fresh start. Can you believe that? I'd convinced myself that what you'd done was in the past; that we could be friends. I'm such an idiot." She finished before stalking past.

"You're not an idiot." Sam said as she reached out to grab her arm.

Feeling Sam's hand close around her forearm, Anna swung around and slapped her across the face. "You're right, I'm not. I care about people, I care about my friends and I cared about both of you. I'm not the one who threw that away, you guys are."

Sam raised a hand to her check as Diego's presence seemed to burn at her side. They'd fucked up so badly this time. "We . . ."

Anna smirked. "You two deserve each other." And with a glare at both of them she was gone.

* * *

Chuck smiled as the light from the window slowly woke him. He'd had the best dreams he could remember having in so long. He'd dreamed of their childhood, summering in the Hamptons. He hadn't had dreams like these in so long, good dreams. That's when he remembered he had more than dreams now, he had Anna.

A rush of absolute happiness filled him as he remembered the night before, followed by a similarly strong rush of anger at what had happened at the warehouse. Anna was going to need him. He opened his eyes expecting to see her lying next to him, still asleep and felt a stab of pain in his heart when she wasn't there.

That's when the confusion began to settle in. Last night had been real hadn't it? It hadn't been a dream. Surprise filled him as he realized that his thoughts and memories of the night before were almost a complete blur. He could identify the main points, the occurrence at the warehouse, the masked ball, and of course the limo ride, but the actual words they'd said seemed to fade into one another.

Some of the words that Anna had spoken had seemed to be someone else's. Had she really said them or had he simply imagined them because they were what he wanted to hear? And she'd said she was a virgin when she certainly hadn't been. He hadn't thought much about it the night before in his abject elation but now the strangeness of it all was settling in. And she wasn't here to make the confusion go away. So much of last night felt like it was layered over moments in the past, moments with Blair.

He ran a hand through his hair as he set up in bed. From what he could see, she hadn't left a note of any kind. But last night had happened, he was certain of it; he simply wasn't certain how much of it was real and how much of it he'd imagined. Closing his eyes he let his mind drift backward to one of the biggest nights of his life.

Running over the memories in his head he was certain that Anna had said that she had moves, he was certain that Anna had challenged him that he didn't think she'd go up there, and he was certain that she'd initiated what had happened in the limo. The virginity issue was one point he didn't understand. Why would she lie about that, she had to know he wouldn't care. Unless she just didn't know, but how would she not know? Losing your virginity wasn't something you forgot; what could have happened to her that she wouldn't know. The questions were multiplying faster than he could even imagine and he had no way to find answers.

Dressing to go search for Anna, one other thought seemed to be worming its way into his mind. Her kiss was so familiar, so heartbreakingly familiar. The way that her lips moved against his, the passion that sparked between them, was so much like what he had with Blair that he could feel himself slipping. Because honestly he didn't know whether it was her or him at this point. Did he just want it to be the same so badly that he was mentally recreating what he had with Blair or was it actually the same.

Chuck ran these questions through his mind over and over again as he left the Palace and went to the only place he could think to go; St. Patrick's Cathedral. He might be insane, the line between insanity and reality was certainly beginning to blur, but Anna was so much like Blair that he had to give it a shot. This was where Blair had gone the morning after, perhaps it was where Anna had gone as well.

Chuck walked into the church slowly, his eyes scanning the empty rows. It was unusual, normally there was at least some tourist traffic but today it felt empty. Remembering that Blair had gone to confession the morning after he walked to the front of the church to where the priest held confession but the priest wasn't even there. Chuck exhaled, so in this the two girls were different. Anna hadn't come here.

Shaking his head Chuck began to walk towards the exit when he heard a voice.

"Charles?" The older priest of the cathedral asked curiously. He wasn't used to seeing the young man in his church anymore. He used to come once a year on the anniversary of his mother's death. When his girlfriend had gone missing in the terrible accident Chuck Bass had been in the church once a day; he hadn't been back since the day that the girl was pronounced dead.

"Father Henry." Chuck spoke with a sigh as he turned to face the old man. From the time he was a boy the father had taken special interest in him. Chuck had lived across the street in the Palace Hotel for as long as he could remember and every year when he'd come to light a candle for his mother Father Henry had sat with him without saying a word; it was almost a surprise that the old man remembered him now, it had been a long time.

"What brings you here today son?" The older priest asked, approaching Chuck with care.

Chuck exhaled realizing that he was trapped. "I was looking for someone."

"I see." The priest spoke with a nod. "May I ask who? Perhaps I could help."

"A girl." Chuck spoke softly.

Father Henry's eyebrows rose, he was aware that the boy hadn't expressed much interest in girls since his girlfriend's death.

Chuck sighed quietly knowing Father Henry expected more. "I'm confused. She reminds me of Blair so much that it confuses me. She looks like her but it's not just that."

"That would be confusing for anyone." Father Henry said walking past Chuck to where the candles were laid out. Picking up a lighting stick he dipped the end in the flame and handed it to Chuck. "Perhaps a bit of tradition?"

Chuck nodded, taking the stick from the father and lighting two candles one for his mother and one for Blair; he hesitated almost lighting a third for his father but something stopped him, it wasn't the same. When he spoke he didn't really know if he was praying or just asking the two of them to hear him; he wasn't even sure he believed in God. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what's right and what's wrong when it comes to Anna. All I know is that for the first time in a long time I don't feel alone anymore and I don't want to lose that."

After another moment of staring at the candles Chuck looked back up at Father Henry with unanswered questions in his eyes. He could feel himself breaking down. The barriers he had built over the past year were crumbling and he was wide open and completely raw. But with the loss of the protective barriers there seemed to exist the loss of the division between what was reality and what was fiction. After a moment of quiet contemplation as his eyes wandered once more searching for Anna, he spoke. "I should go, I think I know where I need to go now."

Father Henry nodded. "I hope you find clarity Charles."

Anna watched from her position behind the one of the columns as Chuck walked out the door. Something about his posture seemed defeated but at the same time there was a strange light in his eyes, one she could only think might be hope.

Anna wasn't sure what she was doing here, her parents were catholic but that hadn't been something they'd ever really pushed on her; but as she'd exited the Palace Hotel she'd seen the cathedral and hadn't been able to help it. Her mom had always said that she went to church for guidance and right now Anna could use some guidance.

She'd been on her way out of the cathedral when she'd seen him walk in the door, just as confused as she had been when she arrived. Immediately she'd slipped behind a column, wanting her presence to stay a secret momentarily. After all, she'd left the room this morning for a reason.

Her first thought was that Chuck was having her followed, but after a few minutes she realized that while he did seem to be looking around she might not have been his primary reason for being there. When he started talking to the priest she began to walk closer, desperate to hear what Chuck was saying.

It was surprising to her to see Chuck here, more surprising that Chuck had come often enough for the priest to know who he was. The way they spoke, it seemed as though there was a closeness there. She hadn't seen Chuck that open with anyone other than her; which made her wonder what the priest might have witnessed from Chuck over the years.

She almost stepped around the corner when Chuck lit the two candles, candles she could only assume were for his parents who'd both passed away. When he spoke about the way she made him feel, when he said that because of her he wasn't alone anymore her heart melted. Now all she wanted to do was be in his arms, to tell him that because of him she didn't feel alone anymore either.

But she stood still behind the pillar, the moment when his eyes scanned the room she thought they'd landed on her hiding place as they hovered over her pillar just a moment longer than the others; but before she had time to stress the possibility Chuck was leaving and a piece of her was going with him.

When she began to walk out of the cathedral a few moments later a voice stopped her.

"You know eavesdropping isn't polite." Father Henry spoke when he spotted the girl walking through the shadows.

Anna turned to face the priest and gave an apologetic smile. "I know, I'm sorry, I was simply curious."

The priest nodded. "I didn't think it was harmful that you listened."

Anna's mouth fell open. Manipulation was something she expected from Upper East Siders but not from the priest of all people. "You knew I was there?"

"Of course." Father Henry said with a nod. "And if Charles had been truly looking for you, he would have known too. But that isn't why he came here today."

Anna nodded slowly, amazement running through her at how perceptive the priest appeared to be. "He was looking for clarity."

Father Henry nodded once more. "Yes, he was. Now the question is, what was it you were seeking here?"

Anna exhaled, shaking her head slightly as she observed the older man before her who might be the wisest man she'd ever spoken with. There was an innate skill in observation that he seemed to possess, it was uncanny. "Guidance." Anna supplied, her voice soft. "I was seeking guidance."

"And did you find it?" He asked, his eyes narrowing only slightly as he questioned her. He'd known who she was the moment she'd slipped behind the pillar; he'd once met Ms. Waldorf and Charles had been right that the girl was practically her twin.

"I believe so." She spoke, almost surprised. She'd been so lost when she'd come in this morning, so confused. Everything that had happened yesterday and this morning was overwhelming her and she'd been so unable to sort through it; but after hearing Chuck speak so openly as he lit the candles she'd felt something that she hadn't expected at all.

Father Henry nodded. "He's been through a lot, as I'm sure you know. Follow your heart and you might be able to heal his."

Anna nodded feeling as though all of her instincts had been confirmed without almost any attempt of her own. "Thank you." She said sincerely before turning to leave. There was somewhere she needed to go before heading home. She needed to speak with someone, the question was who?

* * *

Eric sat at the table in the Van der Woodsen's apartment wanting nothing more than to cover his ears. His very pregnant mother, very hormonal mother was shouting at her very distraught husband over the state of a House Board Committee. He looked between Dan and Jenny and saw similar looks of distress on their faces. All of them knew that this marriage had been rocky at its best over the course of the last year but the pregnancy had seemed to only escalate things.

Eric could never avoid the idea that this came from the timing of the wedding. Chuck had tried to commit suicide just a week prior to the wedding date. Any normal family would have postponed the date but in the interest of showing good PR for Bass Industries, Lily had pushed for the wedding to go on as scheduled. He knew his mom had just been trying to salvage the company's reputation for Chuck but it had splintered her relationship with Rufus. The fragments of that decision seemed to cause the rest of the relationship to crack and shatter - nothing was the same, now there were always doubts.

When he'd decided to wait to tell anyone his suspicions about Anna being Blair he'd always assumed that when he came into town for Anna's birthday he'd be ready to talk to someone, he had assumed that he would have figured something out by now. But right now he had nothing. He'd organized his thoughts about the subject, even taking up journaling about it on his computer to organize everything he knew. The problem was that right now he had no proof, nothing substantial at all.

Dan looked at Eric strangely, college seemed to be taking a toll on his stepbrother. He'd been quiet the entire morning and he had worry lines etching themselves into his forehead. He looked 4 years older than he had only two weeks ago. Sliding his eyes to Jenny he saw her pretending to be absorbed in the fashion magazine in front of her but every time Lily yelled he saw her flinch. He could tell that as much as she wanted to ignore them she couldn't, just like he couldn't. Lily was storming back upstairs now after asserting that he must be cheating.

He needed something to de-stress, he needed to get away, he couldn't be here right now. Almost as though he'd dreamed her up, Anna walked right into the apartment, a look of excitement on her face.

Eric, Dan and Jenny each immediately turned their heads towards the new arrival, all hopping to their feet when they realized who it was. It appeared as though each of them were looking for a reason to leave the now awkward room.

Eric looked flustered, Dan was smiling, and Jenny was simply glad for a reason to look at something other than her magazine. Rufus on the other hand looked as though he might pass out. Jenny immediately realized that no one had told any of the adults about Anna and she instantly hoped that she didn't have to be the one to take care of it.

Eric was the first to speak. "Happy Birthday." He spoke with a tight smile.

Anna smiled in return though she could feel her pulse racing beneath her skin. So much was changing today. "Thank you."

"I'd forgotten it was your birthday." Dan supplied as he fidgeted with his hands.

Anna nodded before exhaling heavily. She recognized that she had a strange situation on her hands. Each of the Van der Woodson - Bass-Humphrey clan seemed to wish to speak with her. Their eyes were bright and alert, with almost a pleading quality to them. While the man that she could only assume was Dan and Jenny's father looked as though he might fall over. Clearly he didn't know about her. "I think I need some help with something."

Jenny smiled ready to jump at the chance to hang out with Anna and get out of the tension of this room. But she noticed that the other two had similar reactions.

"What can we do for you?" Eric asked with another slightly forced smile. Maybe if he talked with her again he'd be more sure of what he was supposed to do, more certain of whether or not his suspicions were right.

Looking between the three of them Anna sighed. "I think I need a girl for this."

Eric and Dan sat back in their seats reluctantly as Jenny shot them an almost triumphant glare. Even if she hadn't been looking for a reason to avoid explaining to her father just who Anna was, she would have been excited to talk to Anna not to mention thrilled that Anna sought her rather than the boys.

Starting to walk away she turned quickly to tell the boys one last thing. "I've axed the idea of doing something big but I'm thinking a late dinner at Gramercy Tavern tonight. You are both invited of course." Once she'd received affirmation from both boys that they'd be there she gave them a bright smile before following Jenny out.

Dan watched as the girls walked out of the entry and into Jenny's room, disappointed that Anna hadn't been there to speak with him. Almost immediately after Jenny closed her door, his eyes drifted to his father who was standing as still as a statue, hands gripping tightly to the back of the chair he'd been standing behind. Dan exhaled ready for his father's questions. "Go ahead and ask." Dan spoke, his voice tired.

Rufus swallowed tightly. His entire body felt numb at the shock of what he'd just witnessed. That girl looked exactly like Blair Waldorf, but his children had referred to her as Anna. What the hell was going on here? Dan's words felt muted to his ears, like the pain in his hands that he was only vaguely aware of. "Who the hell is she?"

Eric sighed softly. "Annabelle Carmichael-Getty of Texas. Rich, beautiful, semi-dating Chuck Bass, and obviously the mirror image of Blair Waldorf."

"How?" Rufus spoke, barely managing to croak out a word. He was so shocked.

Dan shrugged. "We don't know. She's enrolled in Columbia, I have class with her, Eric and Chuck met her at the Palace Hotel, Jenny met her at a bar. She's different than Blair in some ways."

"I certainly didn't see any differences." Rufus spoke, beginning to recover from the shock, which was replaced by worry.

Eric nodded. "It's almost uncanny but she's started looking more and more like Blair the longer she's been here. Acting more like her too; but maybe that's just from hanging around Chuck."

Rufus shook his head. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Honestly, no." Dan spoke quietly. "But none of us could seem to stay away. The draw is . . ."

"Inescapable." Eric completed before letting his head fall into his hands. He didn't know what he was going to do, didn't know what he believed. All he knew right now was that he had to talk to someone. He'd been making excuses for the past two weeks as to why he hadn't told anyone of his suspicions; but in his heart he knew they were more than just suspicions. He knew the truth he'd simply been too scared to act on it.

Standing up slowly Eric gave Rufus and Dan a quick nod. "I need to go. I have to go talk to Serena."

"Serena's in town?" Rufus asked, glad to have something other than the girl who looked so much like Blair to think about.

Eric nodded. "She left as soon as she found out I was coming home for the weekend."

Dan propped his head up in his hands, staring at Eric curiously. "What is it that you need to talk to her about?"

Eric shrugged. "Nothing important, I just haven't spoken to her since she got in this morning."

Dan nodded though he wasn't sure he believed Eric. Normally the younger boy was so steadfastly dependable but Dan hadn't missed the way he was fidgeting this morning or the haunted look in his eyes when he'd seen Anna. Something had happened to Eric in the past few weeks and it had something to do with Blair or Anna; something had changed.

* * *

Jenny was shaking her head as Anna finished up her story. In all honesty she was struggling not to laugh out loud because of some similarities you noticed. But she wasn't going to lie, the part about Chuck actually disturbed her.

Anna tilted her head curiously as she came to a close, almost out of breath from the speed at which she relayed what had happened over the course of the past few days. It was funny telling all of this to Jenny, she'd wanted to talk to Cassie first but she still felt like there was something stopping her from letting Cassie in when it came to Chuck and Diego; besides right now she needed someone who wasn't so entangled with the issue. Looking at Jenny now she couldn't quite read the look on her face. "What are you thinking?" She asked with a slight smile.

Jenny scoffed lightly. "I'm thinking that Sam and Serena would either get along great or kill each other because they are the same person."

"What?" Anna asked surprised. That had been the last thing she'd been expecting Jenny to say.

Jenny sighed. "Serena had a tendency to take things that were Blair's, usually without even trying."

Anna shook her head slowly. "I don't think I understand."

Jenny exhaled realizing that she'd started down a road she wasn't sure she should travel. They'd all agreed that it was easier not to tell Anna about Blair but right now Jenny couldn't seem to help it. "Serena was Blair's best friend yet she had this thing about being the center of attention. And she couldn't seem to do anything about it for a long time. Blair worked for everything she ever got whereas Serena always just had things handed to her. Including Blair's boyfriend."

Anna gasped. "Serena and Chuck slept together." Her stomach turning at the thought.

"God no." Jenny replied completely horrified by that mental image. "Blair dated the same guy for years before Chuck." She paused for a moment wondering whether she should say more about Nate. Deciding it was just too complicated she finished with. "Blair's boyfriend was actually Chuck's best friend."

Anna's eyes widened. "Nathaniel?"

Jenny was momentarily confused until she remembered that Chuck still referred to Nate as Nathaniel even now. She assumed that by saying Nathaniel Anna hadn't actually met Nate, she'd simple heard Chuck talk about him. "Yeah." She said with a slight laugh.

"How did any of them stay friends after that?" Anna questioned, curious because it still hurt that she was about to lose Sam from her life. Sam had been one of her best friends for so long and no matter what part of her wanted to forgive her.

Jenny sighed quietly. She could see the pain in Anna's eyes. She didn't want to hate Sam, that was immediately clear. "It took some time." Jenny replied thinking back to when Blair had found out about Serena and Nate. "But Blair eventually realized that she needed her best friend and forgave her."

Anna nodded. "I don't know that I can do that. She's done this twice now."

"Every situation is different." Jenny spoke giving Anna's hand a light squeeze. "And I'm not saying that she deserves to be forgiven, I'm only saying that one day_ you_ might need her in your life." Then with an almost wicked smile she added. "Though we could always have a bit of fun in the meantime."

Anna's eyes lit with a sparkle as she eyed Jenny. "What do you mean?"

Pressing her lips together Jenny smirked. "A scheme, payback, revenge if you will."

There was a fire in Jenny's eyes that seemed to make Anna's heart skip in recognition. Adrenaline filled her, flooding her veins, until it reached the tips of her fingers. It was a familiar rush but she just couldn't place it. Though as good as the feeling felt she was fighting it, she really wasn't a schemer outside of necessity. "I don't know, it's not something I enjoy."

Jenny could see the light in Anna's eyes and knew she just needed a little push. So she scoffed in half-feigned disbelief as she responded. "Please, you forget who you're talking to. I might be the best plotter of the UES currently depending on whether or not Chuck's on his game but I learned from the very best there was. And I've seen the video from the Steps of the Met when you took down Cadance."

Anna was shocked, partially because of the words Jenny was saying and partially from the fact that she could now place that rushing feeling she was feeling right now. She'd felt it that day on the Steps. "That was Sam really . . ." Anna started but Jenny held up a hand.

Jenny smirked. "Don't deny it A. You did the heavy lifting in that takedown and you enjoyed it. It was instinctual for you and by the look in your eyes then, the one you have in your eyes right now I'd say a part of you ached to do it again."

Anna's mouth opened slightly as she looked a Jenny with a mixture of wonder and something akin to caution or maybe even fear. "You're serious." Anna asked the thrilling sensation tingling through her once more.

Jenny nodded. "When it comes to a scheme, I'm always serious."

"Then let's do this." Anna spoke with a smirk. As she did it seemed as though something came to life within her, something was reborn. She knew the same way she'd known when she started speaking French the first time that this was a part of her past life, the one she'd lost.

Jenny smiled brightly and stood as though to dig right in but Anna shook her head.

"But not right now." She spoke. "Right now I have to figure out what I'm going to do about Chuck."

Jenny bit her lip, unsure of where to go with this. Anna had told her about last night, what Chuck had done for her and then what had ensued and while part of Jenny was happy for Chuck and Anna another part of her was worried. Worried about Chuck who was clearly losing himself in Anna, losing himself so much that he recreated his and Blair's first night together. But something in her couldn't ruin this for Anna. "You know what you're going to do."

Anna cocked her head to the side. "Do I?" Jenny looked at her knowingly and Anna sighed. "And even if I do, how do I know it's what I should be doing?"

"You don't." Jenny replied simply. "You just have to go with heart and hope that it's good enough."

Anna groaned lightly as she stood to her feet. "That can't be it, it can't be the answer. I can't just let go and hope I'm doing the right thing."

Jenny reached out and clasped her hand once more, pulling Blair's attention back towards her. "Hey, sometimes it's not about the right thing or even the wrong thing for that matter. It's about the strength of what you feel because sometimes that surpasses everything else."

Swallowing tightly Anna met Jenny's gaze head on. She could feel her heart pounding loudly in her ears as she considered Jenny's words, it seemed to drown out everything else until she realized that what she was hearing now were words Chuck had said in the church that morning, words she'd overheard. _I don't know what to do. I don't know what's right and what's wrong when it comes to Anna. All I know is that for the first time in a long time I don't feel alone anymore and I don't want to lose that._ Chuck felt it too, the loss of control, the loss of everything other than the two of them. "You're right." Anna spoke quietly.

"Of course I'm right." Jenny said with a smile.

At that moment Dan poked his head in the door. "We gotta go." He mouthed with a quick jerk of his head.

Anna was still standing there apparently deep in thought so Jenna gave her arm a light shake. "Now go to class before you're late."

Anna nodded. Once more Jenny was right about something, Anna and Dan had class in thirty minutes, they'd have to take a taxi already and they still might not be on time for Kyle's class, one both of them knew better than to be tardy too. Giving Jenny's hand a light squeeze Anna smiled sincerely. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Jenny smiled in return before shoving Anna off. "Go."

* * *

Dr. Patricia Michov was doing everything she could not to let her expressions show through on her face. She had to keep a calm demeanor because right now Chuck was scaring her and letting it show would be a mistake. He'd never opened up to her like this. If she admitted her concern he'd close up, she knew him too well.

Chuck couldn't stop pacing. Normally Dr. Michov insisted he lay down on the chaise lounge but she'd been surprised by his appearance today, too much so to question what he was currently doing while talking. This was the first time he'd spoken candidly in her office about anything really. She must be floored. "I knew it was wrong but I continued to have Diego followed all the while worming my way closer into her life, so close that she couldn't imagine it without me. She thought I just wanted to be friends but I never really wanted to be her friend."

Dr. Michov nodded. "That's to be expected, after all she's the spitting image of Blair."

Chuck nodded as well as he continued to pace rapidly. "If that were it then it would be one thing; but it's more. I don't just love her because she looks like Blair and occasionally acts like Blair, I love her because of who she is."

"You love her?" Dr. Michov questioned, her own heartbeat quickening.

Chuck sighed, that was the first time that he'd admitted it aloud. "I do." He replied certain none-the-less. "I think I have for a long time. Certainly before the Opera though I was too much of an idiot to realize it."

"What happened at the Opera?" Dr. Michov questioned, keeping her voice light.

"It was a double date." Chuck responded immediately. "I was with Michelle, Anna was with Diego. But Anna and I couldn't stay away from each other. Even after Michelle warned her that I wasn't over Blair. Things got intense . . . In the ladies bathroom and would have progressed if I hadn't mistakenly called her Blair."

"I see." Dr. Michov said as she nodded her head. "How long ago was this?"

Chuck swallowed tightly. "Just over two weeks."

Peering over her glasses, Dr. Michov could tell he was holding something back now. Previously he had been speaking without prompting on his part. "And since then?"

Chuck nodded, realizing that if he wanted help he had to continue, as he did he resumed his pacing. "For a while things were quiet. Anna focused on Diego and I focused on other things … until yesterday." Chuck knew she would probe for more if he didn't continue so this time he didn't stop. "Yesterday she spoke to me for the first time since the Opera. I invited her to a party but she had plans with Diego. It was then that my PI reported that Diego was up to something bad that night at the Warehouse."

"I had a team on stand-by - a SWAT team of sorts" He filled in before continuing. "When I heard that that son-of-a-bitch had left her at the Warehouse alone I acted. I was down there as soon as I could get there, my team in tow. The 'family' was hurting her, I was almost too late." Dr. Michov looked confused. "They would have raped her." He spat furiously. "Thinking of those scum even looking at her much less talking to her or touching her makes my stomach turn."

Dr. Michov could see how anger Chuck was getting and knew she needed to steer the conversation elsewhere. "But you saved her?"

"Yes." Chuck spoke softly, once more thanking whatever powers that existed that he had been quick enough. "And when we saw Diego later she told him she was done. I tried to take her home but she told me that she wanted to escape so I took her to the Masquerade at Victrola. I dared her to dance on the stage after she said that she had moves and she did it before unmasking herself, kissing me, and telling me that she was falling in love with me."

Dr. Michov had been looking down at the pad in front of her writing but at Chuck's words her pen froze. She didn't say anything for a moment she simply listened and as she did her hand began to shake.

Chuck continued on not even noticing the psychiatrist's behavior. "We left, went to my limo, and when she thanked me for the night she kissed me again. Things escalated, she told me that she was a virgin. I was going to stop but she told me not to, I asked her if she was sure and that was it."

Dr. Michov's heart was racing a mile a minute now. What Chuck had said when he'd come into her office was frightening, she'd been worried about him falling in love with someone who looked like Blair; but this was worse, much worse. "You recreated your first time with Blair?"

Chuck nodded. "I know. I didn't mean to though, not really. But then this morning when I woke to find her gone I went to the church Blair went to after our first time together. So maybe I meant to more than I thought."

Dr. Michov nodded finally feeling as though she had to voice her opinion. "This is very dangerous Chuck. From the moment you told me you were dating Anna I was concerned but if you are trying to recreate your time with Blair it could be a major setback for you. Whether you are doing so consciously or not."

"I know . . ." Chucks exhaled loudly; his mind was racing as tried to explain himself. "A part of me thinks that's the only way I know how to win a girl over." He knew Dr. Michov was saying something after he spoke but his mind was shutting her out. It wasn't simply that that's how he knew to win a girl over, that's how he knew to win a girl like Anna. But this time he wouldn't make the same mistakes as before.

Dr. Michov's voice had become nothing but background noise as Chuck let his mind wander through the possibilities. In some ways he seemed to have a free bank of ideas for how to make Anna happy and even though he knew it was wrong he couldn't seem to help it. What did it matter if he repeated a few pick-up lines here and there. He needed for Anna for fall as much for him as he had for her; he needed her to not be scared about their future together and he had just stumbled across the perfect way.

"Do you understand what I'm saying Chuck?" Dr. Michov asked, looking up at her patient who was currently staring at the wall.

Chuck's head popped towards the psychiatrist remembering for the first time in several minutes that he was here for help. But instead of asking her to repeat herself he simply nodded. "Of course. And I think I've probably wasted enough of your time today, I'll get out of your hair."

Dr. Michov tried not to sigh too loudly. "Chuck, don't do it."

Chuck exhaled loudly, shooting her a look full of charm that had rarely been seen the last few years. "I assure you, I'm only doing what's necessary." With that he started to turn to leave.

"She isn't Blair, don't forget that." Dr. Michov said, finding herself rising from her seat. She'd broken all sorts of protocol with Chuck today but at this point she was willing to do whatever it took to help him rather than send him further down this path. "You can't make her Blair simply by recreating your time together."

Chuck had frozen when Dr. Michov started talking and now as he faced the door he turned his head to direct his next comment at the psychiatrist. "Blair's dead. I'm just moving on, it's what she would have wanted." With that last comment, he walked out of the room.

Dr. Michov sighed in frustration as she sat back down, she wasn't sure today that she hadn't done more harm than good.

* * *

Nate ran a hand over his head as he looked around the quad, Anna hadn't been in class today and he'd wanted to wish her a happy birthday. It had been a few days since he'd seen her and more than that since he'd spent time with her since he wasn't technically supposed to have contact with her until her initiation was complete. He was surprised at just how much he'd missed her.

Sighing he pulled out his phone ready to send her a text when a delicate pair of hands closed over his eyes. He smiled as he leaned back slightly. "Guess who?" A voice vibrated against his ear making his smile widen.

Taking her hands in his he spun. "Anna." He spoke his smile filling his voice. "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks." She smiled in return giving Nate a quick hug. Her heartbeat quickened slightly as he gave her a light squeeze. The feeling surprised her. It was almost as though something inside her had missed Nate more than she realized.

Nate held onto the hug as long as he thought he could get away with before pulling back and seemingly drawing the words from Anna's mind. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too." She said almost laughing in the way Nate had practically read her mind. She'd forgotten how comfortable she felt with Nate. He was so solid and steady like a rock. There was a part of her that really wanted to sit down with him and tell him everything that had happened over the past few days but she knew she didn't have a lot of time before French. "I want to talk but I have class in ten minutes."

Nate knew he shouldn't be seen walking around campus with Anna. The Fellows would be furious if they found out, which they always seemed to do, but there was also the chance that Dan or one of their other friends might see him and he hadn't gotten around to telling them that he'd been spending time with Anna just yet. But in the end it was just too tempting. "Come on then, I'll walk you to class." He spoke, holding his arm out for her to take.

Anna smiled brightly before linking her arm through Nate's. He was always such a gentleman.

"So where were you in class today?" Nate asked. They'd been sitting together ever since they decided to study together. It had been weird being in Econ without her today.

Anna shrugged. "I was almost late for class, slipped into a seat in the back to avoid another incident."

Nate laughed knowingly, remembering the day he'd met Anna, when she'd been late to class and the teacher had called her out.

Smiling brightly Anna suppressed laughter of her own. "What's been up with you lately? Any new ladies in your life?" She asked jokingly.

Nate laughed, mostly to hide the fact that he'd been having trouble thinking about other girls since he'd met Anna. "No time for girls in my life right now, school's been kicking my ass and there's been some things going on with the Fellows."

"What kind of things?" Anna asked instantly curious. She'd yet to be initiated so she wasn't privy to the details of what went on behind the doors of the Fellows just yet.

Nate instantly tensed. He knew better than to mention the Fellows in the way that he just had. It would have been stupid in any instance but this was something Anna couldn't know, that's why he was trying so hard to prevent her from being informed. Swallowing tightly he looked away for a moment, his mind wandering to his last argument with Fitz - Anna didn't need to know that she'd been tapped because Blair had been a legacy and more than that she didn't need to know that Fitz wasn't entirely certain she wasn't Blair.

_"You can't be sure." Fitz spoke anger edging his voice. They'd been discussing Anna's initiation on and off for weeks. More specifically they'd been discussing her connection to Blair, her name in the Fellows, and whether or not it was appropriate to discuss certain suspicions they had about her with her just yet. _

_Nate rolled his eyes. "Yes I can. I'm not an idiot Fitz and neither are you - there's no way that Blair survived that crash." _

_Fitz locked his jaw. "I think we'd all be idiots not to suspect it." _

_Nate looked around at the rest of the Seven. Caroline was worrying her lip, Braden wasn't meeting his eyes, and Aiden was practically staring daggers. "You guys can't be serious!" _

_Aiden shrugged. "Think about it Nate, how does a girl like that fly under the radar for so long?" _

_"She lived in Texas! It's not exactly like that's on our radar." Nate snapped. _

_Fitz shook his head. "She did the first task faster than I did Nate . . . And I knew what to do." _

_Nate shrugged. "That doesn't mean anything other than that you're a pussy." _

_Fitz exhaled loudly, clearly frustrated. But it was Mitchell who spoke. "I'm with Nate. If the girl were Blair Waldorf we'd know it by now." _

_Thomas nodded as well. "As am I." _

_Nate felt himself relax slightly but he knew it was foolish it was still 4-3, they would win. Fitz shook his head at Nate. "You're not seeing reason." _

_"I'm not seeing reason? You trying to tell me that a dead girl is alive, you're the one acting insane." Nate responded knowing he was bordering on insubordinance. "I let the Heartsong necklace slide because I wanted her in the Fellows but this is too far, you can't give her a name from Blair's line and you certainly can't tell her that you think she's Blair." _

_Aiden shook his head. "IF she's Blair and she's lying about it; then I want to know." _

_Fitz nodded. That hadn't been where he'd wanted to go with the conversation but it was true. If the girl had another game they needed to know it. This had been brewing for a long time. It was half the reason she was tapped. Certainly she would have been next semester on her own merit but the similarities to Blair ran too deep and Fitz's gut was telling him he wasn't wrong. The question to him was whether she knew herself who she was or not. _

_"SHE'S NOT BLAIR!" Nate said as he slammed his hand down on the table before him. He couldn't believe this was actually happening._

_"Boys…" Caroline started, a warning in her voice._

_While Nate slowed he didn't stop, this was absurd. "How is it that Blair's best friends know that Anna isn't her and you don't? If anyone would know it was us." _

_"Archibald, you're too close to the situation, it's blinding your judgment." Fitz spoke, his voice level. "You want it so badly that you can't believe it could be true." _

_Nate shook his head, his gaze become hard. "You're crazy and I swear if you confront Anna about this or in any way involve Blair's family and friends in this I'm done." _

_Fitz locked eyes with Nate for several long moments. "I wouldn't involve the family until I was sure, that would be cruel." Nate exhaled heavily but kept his eyes locked. "And for now I won't mention anything to Anna but I'm not changing the name I selected." _

_Nate practically growled. "That name was meant for Blair." _

_Fitz nodded slowly. "Catherine Earnshaw yes, Catherine Linton on the other hand . . ." _

_"What?" Nate asked completely thrown. _

_Thomas Rhodes laughed, he was always the most literary of the group, it usually fell to him to chose names but Fitz had been adamant about this one. "Catherine Earnshaw married Edgar Linton instead of Heathcliff the man she loved. Her daughter is Catherine Linton who would later be forced to marry Heathcliff's son to give him control of the estate only to fall in love with Hareton Earnshaw who Heathcliff actually raised. At the end of the novel she also becomes Catherine Earnshaw. It's all very circular." _

_Fitz smirked. "Thank you for the literary lesson Thomas." _

_Nate practically snarled. "I can't believe you." The whole thing was sick and twisted. Pushing his chair backwards, he stood and walked out of the room, he wasn't dealing with them anymore - not today. _

Looking back he forced a smile and changed the subject. "How about you? How's the boyfriend, Diego right?"

Anna knew immediately that that meant that Nate was shutting down her line of questioning but she held back her disappointment, there was enough going on in her life right now that she didn't need to add more drama, especially drama she shouldn't be involved in anyway. "He isn't."

Nate felt himself stumble, shocked by her statement. He was surprised he hadn't heard more about this from someone. He recovered quickly. "Recent development?"

"Very recent." She responded quickly, wanting to make sure that Nate knew that she hadn't been intentionally keeping this from him she just hadn't had time to tell him yet.

Looking at her almost coyly Nate grinned. "You know you still have my number if you want to do something other than study together."

Anna bit her lip ever so slightly before giving Nate an almost sad smile. "I think I'm involved with someone new." She held her breath unsure of what Nate would say. He'd been such a good friend and she didn't want to lose that. She wasn't sure what his feelings were past the fact that he was attracted to her. In all honesty she was attracted to him too, who wouldn't be, he was gorgeous. But it wasn't like the connection she had with Chuck, nothing was.

Nate nodded slowly knowing that she was talking about Chuck. He couldn't control the intense rush of jealousy he felt in that moment. He'd lost Blair to Chuck, it sucked that it seemed he was destined to lose Anna to him too. He stopped walking knowing that they were in front of her class building. "Well then I suppose a study partner is all I can be."

Smiling shyly Anna placed her hand on Nate's arm. "And my friend of course."

"Of course." Nate spoke with a gentlemanly nod. "Go on to class before you're late." Anna nodded, beginning to leave but Nate called out to her. "And Anna, let me know if it doesn't work out."

In her heart Anna knew that things with Chuck weren't going to be ending soon but she couldn't bring herself to let Nate down so quickly besides half of her believed he was just joking about asking her out. So instead of saying more she gave a quick nod before remembering something she'd been meaning to say. "By the way, I'm having a small dinner get together at Gramercy Tavern tonight for my birthday if you want to come."

Nate wanted nothing more to be there but he knew without asking that Chuck would be there as would Eric and Jenny and probably even Dan. He wasn't ready just yet for them to know what he'd been up to with Anna. Besides seeing her with Chuck would probably make him nauseous. "I wish I could but I have Fellows stuff."

"I understand." Anna responded with a quick nod and a smile even though she was disappointed.

Nate returned her smile but he could see through it that she'd been expecting him to say yes. "I'll make it up to you I promise."

Anna smirked. "You better. See you soon Archibald." She called over her shoulder before turning and heading into her classroom. A large part of her was glad that she cut it close getting there, otherwise she probably would have run into Diego and she wasn't ready for that.

"See you soon Anna." Nate replied softly even though he knew she was long out of earshot.

* * *

Chuck was waiting, leant against his limo and feeling strangely calm all things considered. There wasn't a bone in his body that was uncertain about what he was doing even though his mind knew it was wrong, his heart told him it wasn't. As she walked out of her class building his eyes immediately found hers, his heart began to race, and he smiled.

Anna should have been anticipating Chuck waiting on her outside of class, it was after all their tradition but she'd been so wrapped up in thought that she'd underestimated him. She'd been about to call him anyway so it didn't really matter. Returning his smile she walked forward. "Hey there."

"Hey there yourself." Chuck responded noticing that her walking had slowed to a stop and she was just out of reach without him moving. She was leaving the ball in his court. "Happy Birthday."

Anna smiled, running a hand through her hair. "Thanks, though I think you actually told me last night."

Chuck nodded. "I wanted to tell you this morning too but you ran out on me." His voice was teasing but at the same time he let a little bit of vulnerability show in his eyes.

Pursing her lips, Anna struggled for the words she wanted to say. She didn't want to say the wrong thing and mess things up. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have, I was just a little confused . . . I had some things I had to figure out."

Again Chuck nodded but this time he reached forward and took her hand in his, testing to see whether or not she would pull away. When she didn't he smiled. "And. . . ?" He asked leadingly.

"And I realized that I'm tired of fighting how I feel about you. Something that feels so right can't be wrong." She spoke lacing her fingers through his and taking a step closer.

Drawing her in, Chuck placed a kiss on her forehead softly running the fingers of his free hand through her hair. "So you don't regret last night?" He questioned.

Anna shook her head into his shoulder before pulling back. "No, do you?" Anna asked, making certain they were on the same page.

Chuck shook his head, taking Anna's face in his hands. "I've never regretted a moment I've spent with you." When a smile spread across Anna's lips he let his hands slide down onto her shoulders and then down to her hands. "Come on, I have something for you."

Following Chuck into the limo, Anna couldn't help but blush at the feeling of leather against her skin. It was just twelve hours ago that they'd made love right here. A tingle burst through her body as she remembered the way Chuck had made her feel. It took a lot after that to look back at Chuck, when she did surprise overtook her previous feelings instantly.

"Is that?" Anna gasped as her fingers reached forward to the necklace sitting in the box Chuck was holding in his hands.

Chuck nodded. "The new Erickson Beamon necklace. Yes." He smirked at the glow in her eyes. The necklace wasn't the same as the first, this one a lovely mix of diamonds and pearls, one of only 100 made.

Anna felt as though her eyes had glazed over in shock. Withdrawing her fingers she shook her head. Speaking as Chuck removed the necklace from it's case. "No, I couldn't."

"Yes you can." He responding placing the necklace around her neck and fastening it as she continued to look on with wide eyes. Chuck ran his fingers along the chain slowly before looking up into her eyes. "Something this beautiful deserves to be worn by someone worthy of its beauty."

Anna swallowed tightly, barely having room to breathe. Her entire body was tingling with desire and as Chuck's lips touched her shoulder she seemed to be taken over by something else entirely. Taking her hand in his she once more threaded her fingers through his. "Thank you." She whispered quietly, drawing his eyes up to her face, to her lips.

When he kissed her then she didn't even begin to hesitate. Their clothes seemed to fade away as both of them made quick work of the other's. Sliding her hands around his neck she pulled him into her, relishing the way they seemed to meld together.

Chuck's entire body seemed to burst into flame as Anna's presence, her touch rushed through him. This time he didn't ask if she was sure, he simply knew. The fire he'd felt last night hadn't abated at all, if anything it had intensified. And as he moved inside her, something in his chest seemed to explode. The happiness he felt coursing through his veins was something he'd been sure he'd never feel again.

In the light of day, Anna could see everything even more clearly than she had the night before. She was done second guessing herself, done fighting against something that felt so right. Her breathing quickened even as their pace slowed and her fingernails dug into the skin of Chuck's shoulders. "Chuck…" She gasped as they moved even closer, even deeper. The explosion within her was like something she'd never dreamed of feeling and she wanted to have this, have him forever.

Chuck balanced himself over her for a moment, catching his breath as he looked in her eyes. They were still intertwined when she reached with one hand and brushed his cheek, her fingers resting in his hair. "Do you think you'll ever be able to love someone like you loved her?" She asked softly. She wanted this, she wanted to be with him, but the one thing that she needed now more than ever was the knowledge that she could have him.

Keeping his eyes locked with hers Chuck didn't for one second hesitate to answer. "I didn't. Until I met you." He inhaled softly before speaking, his words certain. "I'm in love with you."

"I love you too, Chuck." Anna whispered softly feeling a smile ease onto her lips as she shifted their position until they were both a bit more comfortable. Once they had stopped moving she spoke again, her voice gentle. "Is that why you tried to kill yourself?"

Chuck tensed next to her, his entire body going rigid almost against his will. In that moment his eyes couldn't meet hers, that wasn't something he was ready to share with her, he didn't want to scare her away, he didn't want to lose her. "Who told you?" He began, his voice strained.

Anna's hand instantly found his face, cupping his cheek. "Hey, hey." She spoke softly, bringing his eyes back to meet hers. "I just wanted to say that we have something in common." She watched as Chuck's eyes widened. "I tried to kill myself the night of my junior prom."

Chuck's heart almost stopped in his chest as a cold fear seemed to rush through him that she'd almost not been a part of this world. If she had succeeded then she wouldn't have been here to save him. "That's what you were keeping secret the night that you kissed me in front of Diego."

Anna nodded slowly, nerves racing throughout her body. She could hardly believe she was about to do this, she was about to tell him everything.

"Why?" Chuck asked, amazed at the pain he felt simply thinking of her in pain. He wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go, he wanted to protect her from everything terrible the world had to offer and even though he hadn't known her yet he felt as though he had failed her.

Anna pressed her lips together gathering her thoughts before beginning. "A lot happened that night, a lot that seemingly gets attributed to what I did. Jackson got a little rough because he wanted more than I was willing to give, Diego saw me leaving and tried to help; but I ran. I took a cab home, polished off a bottle of vodka and fell asleep on the couch. But this is where the real reason for what I did occurred."

Chuck could barely restrain his anger in that moment for Jackson for touching her and even at Diego for not doing more to stop her but he focused, hanging onto her every word.

"I haven't been completely honest with you guys about everything, though I've only intentionally covered it up a couple times. I just didn't want to freak you guys out or anything like that." Anna spoke, her voice beginning to shake.

Chuck placed a hand on the side of Anna's face in reassurance, when he spoke it was from the heart. "Whatever it is, you can tell me, I'm not going anywhere."

Anna nodded carefully before speaking. "While I was passed out I had this dream. I was on an airplane and the plane was crashing. I'm with this guy that I know I love but I can't see his face or make out his voice. We're about to jump but the plane hits an airpocket and he gets thrown out while I get tossed back into the plane. And I knew the moment I woke up that it wasn't just a dream, it was a memory."

Chuck's entire system seemed to have frozen. He couldn't even comprehend the words she was saying as they began to blur and slow. Every single second seemed to last an eternity as he eyes flew over her. From her head to her breasts, down to her legs, then back once more to her eyes. Those deep brown eyes and even as his heart struggled to comprehend her words his mind seemed to be working in overdrive. The dates matched up between when their dreams started, the first anniversary of the accident. His accident, Blair's accident, Anna's accident. Anna was Blair.

Anna noticed how quiet Chuck was and assumed that he was waiting on her to finish so she continued. "I don't remember anything from before the accident and I don't even really remember the accident other than that terrible dream that makes me feel like I'm dying. And in that moment I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted it to be over, I didn't want to feel alone anymore, so I stuffed the tailpipe of my dad's old car and started the engine. If Cassie hadn't shown up and pulled me out when she did I would have died."

Chuck clutched her tightly to him, unsure of what to do, unsure of what to say. Every dream he'd ever had was coming true. Blair was alive and she was in his arms and the happiness that he felt was as close to pure elation as he could have ever believed. He was holding her again, he was never letting her go, never again. "You won't be alone, ever. I'll never let you feel like that again." He spoke holding her against him. His whole body was alight with so many emotions, confusion, fear, happiness. How had he not uncovered this, how had all the PI's he'd ever hired missed this, missed finding Blair, missed finding out that she was Anna?

A part of him had to have always known, because in his heart he had always known that he could never love another woman the way he loved Blair and yet he felt as though he loved Anna that way. They were the same, it all made perfect since and just then reality was better than any dream. Yet in that moment a dark thought entered his brain, what if he was wrong? What if he'd only heard what he'd wanted to hear? He had to be sure; before he told her he had to be sure. But for the next little while he'd let himself have this, he'd let himself believe that the only thing he'd ever wanted to happen was real.

* * *

**Longest. Chapter. Ever. And I hope as worth the wait as I professed it to be. It's certainly going to shake some things up.**

**PLEASE review :) It means a lot to me when you guys do!**

**xoxo - kate**


	28. So, What Now?

The response to the last update was absolutely incredible, which is part of the reason it has taken me so long to update. I wanted to be certain about every decision I was making for the rest of the fanfic because you guys deserve it and I wanted this chapter to be worth the wait. On that note I hope you aren't disappointed with it, though I have a feeling it isn't what a lot of you were expecting – all I can ask is that you guys trust me.

To my reviewers: **ggloverxx19, Jillian, Sw33tHeart21, Kels, Tigger23, Wiktoria, BellaB2010, teddy bear, miragrace93, flazzy Cullen, Inny, vmp87, wrpiJ, wrighthangal, LitPrincess2787, CarolinaGirl21, kpattinson, tsukimonse, Cerecy, HarryPotterfanforeverr123, Lolaaaa, sallysally, GGfanficfan09, AquarianAir, Iwishiwasabass, Imortalrunes, LeftWriter224, lovely-thalia, annablake, Eimxx, VanillaNewYork, Neligirl, GossipGirlFan03, S, CASSANDRA, julia1117, EvieLily, Stephycats7785, KassieK, Juliannaforever, Carodaria, **and **SouthernBelle88. **Every single one of you is absolutely amazing, all of the support that you guys gave about this last chapter was just astounding. For all of you that were new to the story I hope you continue to enjoy it. Love all of you!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

To my beta: A HUGE thanks to ggff-fan who edited this during her exams. She rocks obviously!

* * *

**Chapter 28: So What Now?**

"Did I tell you about my dream this morning?" Anna asked as she pulled her dress over her head.

Chuck shook his head slowly as he laced his fingers through hers. He wasn't sure what she meant. He now knew about her dream of the airplane crash but from the way she described it he assumed that would be classified as more of a nightmare and right now she was smiling.

Anna leaned forward placing her forehead against his. "I think I remembered something from before."

Chuck's heart lurched as his voice seemed to catch in his throat. "Really?" He managed, his voice sounding strange to his ears.

"Yeah, from when I was a kid." She spoke squeezing his hand tightly in hers. "I was in the ocean and a boy was teaching me how to float without getting dragged out. It's what saved me after the crash I think."

Chuck's heart thumped loudly in his chest because he was a millisecond from telling her what his heart was screaming was true, that he was the little boy, that she was Blair. This was more proof than even the crash. He remembered that day on the water, Blair had been scared. He was about to open his mouth and allow the words to tumble out when she spoke.

"Promise you'll be at my birthday dinner?" Anna spoke as she trailed her thumb along Chuck's bottom lip, hesitating to get out of the limo.

Chuck nodded, trying his best to control his face as he abruptly tore the words from his mouth before they could spill out. A few hours more couldn't hurt to make sure and a few hours was all that he would need. "I promise. I'll see you in a few hours, go work on your paper with Dan."

"Alright then." Anna nodded and smiled before leaning just a bit closer. "I love you Chuck Bass." She spoke before placing her lips on his in a gentle kiss.

Now that Chuck knew it didn't change the way her kisses felt; but why would it? In his heart he'd always known, he'd always felt that familiar feeling. He returned her kiss before pulling back. "I love you too . . . Annabelle."

With one more smile, Anna exited the car and walked inside, not allowing herself to look back because she knew if she did, she'd probably want to hop right back into that limo. It was then as she was walking into her dorm that she remembered the necklace Chuck had given her, her fingers reached up and touched it and she smiled.

Chuck watched Anna...Blair...Anna since he didn't know what to call her, walk into her dorm before he told the limo to take him to the Palace. He needed to talk to someone who knew Anna from before and the only person he knew he could find was Sam. So regardless of the fact that that was the last person Anna wanted anything to do with right now except maybe Diego, he had to go there to know the truth.

As the limo moved he felt himself begin to tremble. Could this even be possible, was there a way that Anna could really be Blair, could have been Blair all along? The more he thought about it the more it made sense. Chuck had also thought he'd never feel the way he had felt about Blair again, that's why he'd been so surprised when kissing Anna that first night at Marquee had made him come alive again inside. But Annabelle being Blair meant that he'd been right all along; she was the only girl he'd ever feel that way about. And the whole reason he might not have been able to find Blair could be because she'd been someone else. He didn't know how it had happened but he was going to find out.

Leaning back against the seat he exhaled. They'd be at the Palace soon, he'd find Sam, he'd talk to her, and then he'd know for sure; he'd know for sure if he really had Blair back. At the thought, tears stung his eyes and burned his throat because if he had Blair back he had back everything he'd ever wanted and everything he'd ever need.

* * *

Sam sighed as she swirled the drink in her glass. She couldn't even look in the mirror across her behind the bar, she couldn't stand to see herself. What she'd done to Anna was the worst thing she'd ever done to anyone.

"This was low, even for you." Cassie spoke, her voice smooth as she took a seat next to Sam at the bar.

Sam pressed her lips together, still not tearing her eyes away from her glass. "So Anna told you huh?"

Cassie shook her head. "What were you thinking?"

Sam sighed, finally forcing herself to look over at Cassie, at the look of disappointment on her face. "At which point? When I was sleeping with Jackson for a year or when I was screwing Diego last night?"

Cassie exhaled in disgust. "She was your best friend Sam, your best friend, you don't do that to your best friend."

"She was your best friend." Sam spat, a fire filling her eyes as a burst of anger rushed through her. "And for that matter, you don't do what? You don't lie to them? You don't keep secrets from them? Because Anna's been doing that a lot longer than I have."

Cassie sighed as she shook her head. "So now you are going to blame this on her? Of course, it's her fault you repeatedly screwed her boyfriend, she clearly wasn't giving him what he deserved and it's her fault that you fucked Diego too. Neither of you would have been so upset if it weren't for her."

Sam shook her head. "You act like you're so above it all Cassie but she's lied to you too. You guys have your little secret pact over what happened on the night of junior prom but what about what happened last night, did she tell you about that? About how Diego got her into trouble but Chuck rushed in and saved her? Or that she's pledging a powerful secret society? Did she tell you that she's been seeing Chuck behind Diego's back for months? That she performed a striptease at Chuck's club last night before kissing him in front of God and everyone else? That she came running into my room this morning finding me and Diego in bed because she'd spent the night fucking Chuck and didn't have any clothes to wear home?"

Sam watched as Cassie's eyes widened even as she attempted to keep her expression in check and knew she'd hit the nail on the head. "Yeah, I didn't think so." Running a hand through her hair, Sam finally turned to face Cassie head on. "Don't you think it's a little weird that we're her best friends yet the people she's confiding in are people she's only known for a few months time?"

Cassie wasn't sure what to say. She wanted to call Sam a liar, but deep down she knew it was true. She knew that Anna had been acting weird, that she hadn't been honest about how she was spending her time and it all just fit. Sam wasn't lying, everything she'd said filled in the gaps in Anna's own stories. "That doesn't change what you did." She said as she met Sam's gaze head on.

Sam exhaled loudly in frustration. "You want to know why I slept with Jackson?" She asked rhetorically before barreling onward. "I slept with Jackson because I wanted anything to remind me that there was something I could be the best in. I didn't want to hurt her, I just wanted something that she didn't beat me in. Don't you ever think about what it was like before Anna, before any of us were friends?"

Cassie swallowed tightly because she could see where this conversation was going and it made her stomach slightly queasy. "Don't. . ." She started, but it was too late, Sam was intent on saying her piece.

"Come on, Cassie, don't you ever miss Melanie, or was Anna just too perfect of a replacement. After all before she died you and Mel were best friends." Sam said her voice sugary sweet. "And then there was Lina, sweet, innocent Lina in line to be Valedictorian, class president, and chair of every committee at our school - not to mention practically betrothed to Jackson Hollingsworth since birth; her next door neighbor, her best friend." Sam added knowing that she was hitting all kinds of nerves. "And then there was me, captain of the JV cheerleading squad and the hottest most popular girl in school that every guy wanted to sleep with and every girl wanted to be."

Cassie shook her head. "We chose to be friends with Anna; that was our choice."

Sam's eyes snapped back towards Cassie. "I saw the challenge in Anna's eyes the moment she and I met, I did what I had to do to retain as much of my social standing as I could. I wasn't the smart one, I wasn't the kind one, I was the popular one. Anna was a threat to that. So I shared the limelight."

"Are you saying . . ." Cassie started completely shocked.

Sam shook her head. "No, I'm not saying that I never gave a shit about Anna so don't even go there." Sam sighed. "I'm just saying that I lost a lot to be her friend and sometimes it felt like I lost more than I could handle. So I lashed out. Jackson was there and he wanted me and I couldn't remember the last time someone had chosen me over Anna so I let it happen. And it just felt so good to be wanted again that I kept doing it." There were tears in her voice before Sam realized it. "I know that I act like I'm some kind of huge slut or whatever, like I sleep around and give guys what they want but Jackson was my first."

Cassie almost fell off her chair in shock. "But you said you slept with Beau Matthews in eighth grade at Melanie's birthday party while we were playing seven minutes in heaven."

Sam shook her head, wiping one tear quick tear that had slid from her eyes, she was furious at herself for showing this kind of weakness but she couldn't help it. "No, Beau said I slept with him. I didn't even let him get to second base but he'd told the whole football team I'd gone all the way and the rumor spread throughout the school in a matter of hours. No one believed me when I said it wasn't true so one day I just quit saying it."

"Sam. . ." Cassie started instantly feeling terrible. She remembered how they all were back then, they were kids, they would latch onto anything to tear someone else down.

Sam simply shrugged wiping another tear. "So I capitalized on it. I made it my trademark. I was the hot sexy girl with boys fawning all over her; all of them were trying to get what they thought the rest of them had but it was all lies. It snowballed, boys would brag about screwing me and how great I was without me doing anything at all because they didn't want to be the boy that I said no to. I became the best lay in school without ever sleeping with anyone."

Laughing through what remained of her tears Sam ran her hand through her hair. "Don't get me wrong though, after Jackson there were plenty of others, I finally became the thing everyone said I was because it was the only time I felt like the girl I used to be. The virgin became a slut so that she could be popular like she had been when she was a virgin and everyone thought she was a slut, now isn't that poetic."

Cassie reached out and placed a hand on Sam's arm. All these years she'd had no idea that her friend was in pain. Even before they were close, before Anna, she'd at least thought they were friends and she'd thought that she was a perceptive enough of a person to know when someone around her was hurting.

Sam rolled her eyes, still trying to act tough. "As for Diego, I've wanted him for as long as I can remember. I used to dream he'd be my first and he'd be so caring and so gentle because he would be the one to realize what it meant to me. The night Sophomore year when Mel threw her annual end of the school year bash he and I actually kissed and I thought that there was going to be something more. Then came the cruise - the one we'd gotten to go on because we'd won the State JV Cheerleading Championship - and we lost Mel and gained Anna. Diego never looked at me twice after that."

Sam looked away for a moment hiding her hurt before looking back at Cassie. "But last night wasn't even about that - last night was about the fact that he was hurting and I was hurting and I thought that maybe it would make us both hurt a little less. But all it did was make me feel like the worst person in the world."

Cassie was hugging Sam almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Sam shouldn't have done it, any of it. But Cassie should have realized that there was something internally that was making her act out like this. Pulling back from the hug she placed her hands on Sam's shoulders. "We'll fix this, all of it, I swear."

"I hate to interrupt this lovefest but I need to talk to Sam for a moment." Chuck spoke as he sauntered up seemingly from nowhere. He hadn't expected finding her to be quite so easy when she hadn't been in her room and now he got two for the price of one.

Both of the girls looked over at Chuck in surprise as he was pretty much the last person either of them had been expecting to see in that moment. Especially now that both were aware of his relationship with Anna, neither had any idea why he was there. As always, it was Sam who managed to find words first. "What do you to talk to me about?" She asked, her surprise evident in her face.

Chuck swallowed, narrowing his eyes slightly as he looked between the two girls. He hesitated for a moment debating whether he should just come out and say it or perhaps if he should lead up to it. Finally deciding he spoke plainly. "I was just wondering when exactly the plane crash that caused Anna to lose her memory occurred?"

Chuck watched as he spoke, carefully observing both of the girl's faces. Sam's whose brow immediately furrowed in confusion and Cassie's whose eyebrows rose in surprise. Immediately he realized that he'd miscalculated. Even through everything he'd thought that Sam was Anna's best friend but he could see that it was Cassie that she'd trusted with the truth; which made sense since Cassie was the one who'd saved her.

Sam shook her head. "It was during that freak storm the summer before our junior year but you must have heard her wrong, Anna was on a cruise ship when that happened not a . . . plane."

Cassie put her hand on Sam's arm, squeezing gently and reassuringly before she spoke. "The plane crash was the summer before her junior year."

Sam's head immediately snapped towards Cassie. "That's the secret?"

Cassie nodded slowly looking at Sam for a moment. "That's part of it." Then she focused her gaze back on Chuck. "So she told you?"

Chuck nodded, his heart bursting at the seams as the blood pounded to his brain. "Yeah, she told me everything."

Cassie exhaled unsure of what this meant. Clearly Anna trusted Chuck, more than she'd ever probably trusted anyone if she'd opened up to him; but what did it mean that he was coming here asking questions?

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" Chuck asked, his eyes matching his commanding tone. Now that he knew it was the right timing he had to know everything, he had to know that he'd really found Blair.

Cassie looked over at Sam for a moment. "You going to be okay?" She asked sincerely.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, go on and talk."

"I'm not trying to exclude you." Cassie spoke, the genuineness of her statement showing through her eyes.

Sam nodded once more. "I know. Right now I don't think I deserve to know."

With one last squeeze of Sam's hand, Cassie turned and faced Chuck. "Lead the way Bass."

With a quick nod of his head, Chuck started moving towards the elevator, he didn't speak the entire ride up or the walk down the hallway. He remained completely silent until the door to his suite was safely closed and he could take a seat at the bar; not just because he didn't want anyone else to overhear this conversation but because he knew that he was going to need something to anchor himself regardless of what he found.

As Cassie came to a stop, standing across from Chuck, she realized that he wasn't going to speak until she did. Honestly she hadn't spent that much time with him but she could see that there was something strained about him today, something jittery. It was as though a part of him wasn't under his control; this realization was almost scary as she'd never imagined a moment in which he'd been out of control. "So how much has Anna told you? So that I'll know where you want me to fill in the gaps."

Chuck swallowed feeling a burning sensation in his throat as he did, he was so close, so close he could taste it. If he was wrong, if he lost everything now he wasn't sure what would happen. "The basics. I know about the night of junior prom, I know that she was in a plane crash and lost her memories from before, and I know that now she has dreams about the crash and the guy that was with her."

Cassie nodded slowly, uncertain of where to proceed. "I'm not sure what else you want me to tell you. Honestly that's all she or any of the rest of us know."

Chuck exhaled heavily, his hands beginning to shake. "Since you mention the topic of honesty, there's something that I haven't exactly been honest about; none of us have."

Cassie tilted her head in confusion. "What are you saying?" Her heart had begun to pound loudly, the sound reverberating through her body. The adrenaline in her veins was telling her that something major was happening, she just wasn't certain what it was.

"Blair didn't run away." He spoke, his voice strained as though the effort it took to speak caused him pain. "She died."

Cassie gasped in shock, immediately thrown, that hadn't been what she was expecting at all and it didn't make sense...unless. "In a plane crash?" She asked, her voice barely there as she spoke.

"In a plane crash." Chuck responded with a nod of his head. "I was with her. I was thrown out of the plane she was shoved back inside."

"Oh my God." Cassie spoke, her voice mostly air. "Oh my God." She repeated, this time with more strength. Her mind was moving so quickly she could barely keep up. Meeting Chuck's penetrating gaze she spoke, grasping at the only thing she could remember. "The boy, the one she was with on the plane, had a scarf."

Chuck felt his heart slam around inside of his chest as he walked towards his closet, coming out with the article of clothing he'd almost burned what seemed like forever ago. "A scarf like this?" He asked, holding it towards her.

Cassie's hands shook as she took the scarf in her hands. This wasn't possible, this couldn't be possible, could it?

Chuck watched Cassie carefully as she held the scarf in her hands as though it were made of the most fragile material. "That's all I have left of the crash. Does Anna have anything, anything at all that would be proof?"

Cassie nodded her head slowly because she already knew the answer to the question Chuck hadn't asked. "The locket."

"She can't open it?" He asked, his voice filling with emotion because now he knew what his heart had been telling him from the beginning. Anna was Blair, Blair was alive.

Cassie nodded her head uncertain of how she was even still functioning with all of this information rushing through her brain. "How did you . . ."

"I have the key." Chuck finished. He covered his face with his hands wanting to stop the flood of emotions he was feeling, the emotions that threatened to take him over. Standing, Chuck motioned for Cassie to follow with a jerk of his head. "Come on, there's someone we have to go see."

* * *

"One second." Eric called out at the knocking he heard on the door. Exchanging a look with Serena he mouthed, "Are you okay?"

She nodded, running a hand through her golden locks. "I think so." She spoke quietly back.

Nodded, Eric exhaled before he called out once more. "Come in, it's unlocked." He knew it was Chuck by the rapid pounding, the man had a thing for assaulting doors when he wanted something. He just hoped that Serena could hold herself together until Chuck left.

Chuck practically stormed into the room, his heart still racing as he thought the best way to say what he needed to say. He'd known that Eric was in his old suite again because he was up visiting for Anna...Blair's birthday, but seeing Serena was actually a surprise. For a moment he considered changing what he was going to say but he realized that Serena would have been the next person he would have sought out anyway so he didn't bother. "There's something we have to talk to you about . . . Both of you." He spoke gesturing behind him to where Cassie was standing.

Eric tilted his head in confusion, Chuck he had expected, Cassie's presence on the other hand had him curious. There wasn't a chance that Chuck had figured things out on his own was there? Eric almost smirked, it was Chuck, of course there was a chance. He looked over at Serena and lifted an eyebrow letting her in on what he was expecting. "Go on then." He spoke the smirk still there.

Chuck swallowed tightly before forging on. "It's about Anna and well it's about Blair too." Chuck exhaled loudly, looking at Cassie for a moment for support. "And I don't really know how to say this but. . ."

At that Eric knew for certain that he was right, Chuck had figured it out. Choosing to save his brother the agony of trying to tell them Eric simply shrugged. "Anna is Blair. Yeah we know."

Chuck's jaw practically hit the ground as Cassie's eyebrows rose into her hairline. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting when Chuck had told her they were coming to tell Eric but this hadn't been it.

Chuck shook his head in surprise, amazed that Eric already knew. "How?" He asked in awe. "Did Anna tell you? Does she know?"

Eric almost laughed. "No, Anna has no idea unless you've told her."

"Then . . .?" Chuck asked leadingly. He couldn't begin to fathom how Eric could have known when he hadn't. HE was the one sleeping with her after all.

Eric shook his head, his voice not quite the happy exclamation one would expect. In fact he sounded sad. "I've been suspicious for a long time but I wouldn't let myself think it. One afternoon Anna did something, she twisted the ring on her finger and it was like a punch in the gut for me. I'd never seen anyone do that other than Blair." He paused looking around the room and was surprised when Cassie spoke.

"Anna . . . Blair" She spoke struggling. "Has always done that, ever since I've known her."

Eric nodded. "We were so blind. She'd given me all the clues I needed to figure it out but it wasn't until she told me that she had an accident and that she. . ." He looked to Chuck timidly unsure if he should say more.

"That she tried to kill herself." Chuck finished with a solemn nod. It made him sick to think how close they'd all come to losing her again.

Eric nodded. "Yeah. She told me it was because of the dreams and that she died in the dreams every time; the strangest part was her phrasing was so exact as to the phrasing that you'd said when you told me why you did it that something in me just flipped and I knew."

Chuck shrugged, his eyes clouding with suspicion. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wanted to be sure before I did. I wouldn't risk causing you the kind of pain of being wrong." Eric spoke sadly looking Chuck straight in the eyes.

Chuck nodded. Actually grateful that Eric had thought like that because he'd had a taste today of what that kind of hope mixed with fear felt like and it was miserable. "I wouldn't let myself believe it was possible." Chuck spoke his voice quiet. "I ignored every hint, every sign." Chuck exhaled emotion apparent in his face and voice. "I thought I was crazy, I was okay with being crazy."

Eric exhaled. "The thing holding me back was actually the same thing that made me realize the truth. I kept telling myself it couldn't be possible, that I was crazy for even thinking it. Then today it was like I suddenly realized that we were crazy for not thinking it. From the beginning she's reminded us of Blair and we'd been convinced that she wasn't - that's what should have been hard to believe. Anna being Blair wasn't crazy, it was the sanest thing I could imagine."

Serena looked up at her brothers each in turn before letting her gaze land on Chuck. She bit her lip as she held back the tears that she'd been feeling ever since Eric had told her what had been going on. She'd been so reluctant to believe him. "I'm sorry for doubting you guys. If I'd had my way, none of us ever would have known."

Chuck smirked. "That would have required us listening to your nonsense sis."

At that moment, Serena smiled and it was the first real smile she'd had in a while. "I'm so glad you didn't. We're actually going to get our best friend back, I never thought that was possible."

Chuck smiled too. "I've never been more happy than I was the moment I realized the truth. There have been flashes of happiness, like the first time I saw her standing outside the Palace or the other night when she told me she loved me; but I had forgotten what this kind of happiness felt like, this kind of wholeness."

At that statement Cassie frowned. She'd been quiet this whole time, even excited for much of the conversation; however now as she sat there listening to them as they all began to discuss what things would be like and how happy they were she felt a sickening tightening in her gut. "She's still Anna."

Every head in the room immediately snapped towards her but none of them seemed as though they cared to speak. Serena looked mildly confused as though she'd just realized Cassie's presence but Chuck looked almost angry. However when her eyes met Eric's she saw there something she herself had been feeling and felt reassured. "You guys are forgetting that she's Anna too. She has a life, she has friends. She's not simply Blair again just because she used to be."

Eric watched Serena's eyes cloud as though she were a child being told that Santa Claus didn't exist and Chuck's eyes seemed to flicker with rage. But he knew Cassie was right, it was one of the many things he'd thought about himself before telling Serena what he'd figured out. "Guys, as much as I wish it weren't true, Cassie's right."

This time the heads turned toward Eric who sighed loudly. "She doesn't know she's Blair, she doesn't have memories of us or what her life used to be like. Regardless of the fact that she used to be Blair, right now she isn't."

Cassie swallowed before giving Eric a small smile. "Exactly. And I for one don't think the way you were talking about not being happy with Anna was exactly reassuring." She directed at Chuck. "She'd told me that nothing could happen with you until she knew that you wanted her not Blair and that's not what it sounded like had happened just then.

But Cassie's words were completely lost on Chuck as his eyes had darkened. It was almost as though a shadow had fallen over his face as his smile from earlier disappeared completely. "It's worse than that." He spoke darkly, voicing the thought that had made his happiness fade.

"What?" Serena asked surprised. This whole thing kind of mystified her but she hadn't really cared about the particulars so long as she got Blair back. She was okay on having to work with her to remember or whatever was necessary; the fact that her best friend was alive had been enough to erase at least a portion of the guilt she'd been feeling for so long. But now the look on Chuck's face worried her.

Chuck exhaled, knowing that all eyes were on him. "We were such idiots. We weren't honest with each other, none of us were. If we had been it wouldn't be like this."

Eric shook his head, for the first time not following Chuck's train of thought. "What are you talking about man?"

"If we had known about the amnesia or had any clue that she might be Blair. If we hadn't lied about Blair dying or the plane crash. So many if's and each one has a but we didn't attach to the end. Because of our manipulation and lies we're all stuck in this mess." Chuck said, his voice low and dark.

Cassie shook her head as she tried to meet Chuck's gaze though his eyes seemed to be looking everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. "I don't follow."

Chuck swallowed. "Don't you see, if we'd told her then she could have rebuilt or at least tried to; but now things are so convoluted. We're all so intertwined."

Suddenly, Eric seemed to understand. Exhaling he took an almost staggering step backwards. "She's got two different histories with all of us now. Blair-and-Chuck and Anna-and-Chuck aren't the same thing. The way Anna feels about each of us is different from how Blair felt. Toss that in with the fact that she had her life before us, her life without us. Anna and Blair are two very different people."

Cassie realized then what they were saying and her breath almost caught in her throat. They were treading on difficult territory now, more difficult than they could have possibly imagined. "There's no telling what's going to happen if - or when - she remembers. Oh God, what's that going to do to her?"

Always the last to the party, Serena's heart jerked as she realized what was being discussed and felt like she might collapse. "You're saying she may never really be Blair again."

Chuck nodded. "But it's worse than that Serena: I'm saying that if she remembers who knows if her mind will even be able to reconcile it." Almost as if on cue Chuck's cell phone rang. Looking down his jaw fell open in surprise - what the hell? Dr. Michov was calling his cell, she'd only ever called back when he used to skip his court ordered appointments. Though as he opened the phone he realized that this might be just what they needed. If anyone could tell them if Blair would be able to handle the truth it would be a psychiatrist. "Chuck Bass." He spoke answering the call.

Dr. Michov almost gasped in surprise, she'd been expecting it to go to voice mail. "Charles I need to speak with you about our session earlier."

Chuck gave a curt nod though she couldn't see him. "Good because I need to talk to you too."

"I'm already in the lobby of your hotel." Dr. Michov responded quickly. She'd come by on her way home from the office hoping that she might be able to speak to Chuck and give him better guidance than she had before. He needed her help now more than ever and she felt as though all she had done was judge him. She still thought he was being dangerous but perhaps there was a way to get through to him.

Chuck smirked. "It's room 2013."

* * *

"So let me get this straight, you're actually saying we can't tell her?" Serena asked a look of intense annoyance on her face.

Dr. Michov sighed, this had been the last thing she'd expected. When Charles had agreed to see her she'd been relieved but walking into this room had been a shock, she hadn't known what was going on. What they had explained to her had been one of the greatest shocks of her life; after all the coaching she'd done making Charles admit that Blair Waldorf was dead. Now not only was the girl not dead, she was involved with all of them. Swallowing she spoke carefully. "In my professional opinion, if you tell her it might cause a mental break."

Chuck felt the knot that had formed in his throat swell. "Are you saying she can never know?" There was a strange fear rushing through him. To have Blair but not really have her would be a pain he wasn't sure he could handle. Not now that he knew that she was alive.

Dr. Michov shook her head and gave a small careful smile. "No, but I think the key here is that her mind must come to terms with it on its own."

"She has to remember who she is on her own." Eric spoke, eyes widening in realization. Of course it made sense. Telling her might be too much for her to handle, who knows what that might do to her but if she could remember slowly then maybe she'd be okay.

"Yes." Dr. Michov said with a nod. "I'm not saying that even that will be a perfect solution, when she remembers she'll still have a lot to reconcile but perhaps it won't shock her system as much as it would to be told who she is."

Cassie had been quiet most of the conversation, thinking carefully about what she wanted to say; about how she felt. "What if she doesn't remember? What then?"

Chuck's head immediately snapped towards Cassie, not really because of what she said but because of what he heard in her voice. He sensed what was behind her voice, there was a hint of hope. "Cassie, tell me you're with us not against us."

Inhaling Cassie closed her eyes reopening to see everyone staring at her. She shook her head almost sadly. "I'm not against you. I'm terrified that I'm going to lose my best friend but I want what she wants and what she's always wanted is to remember. So I'm with you."

Serena wasn't sure what she was doing as she stood and walked over to where Cassie stood and pulled her into a hug. She couldn't say anything because there was nothing to say. She couldn't promise that Blair would still be Anna once she remembered, she couldn't promise anything. "We're all going to get through this."

Cassie held on tightly for a moment before pulling away. "Thank you." She spoke sincerely before looking over at Chuck. "So what's the plan?"

Chuck looked to Eric who shrugged before they looked over at his psychiatrist. "Dr. Michov?"

She sighed with a slight shake of her head. "You wait. That might be all you can do."

"I have to do something, I have to help her remember!" Chuck spoke emphatically. For the first time all day he seemed to lose his careful composure. "You don't understand."

Dr. Michov exhaled. "I assure you Charles I do. All I can suggest without speaking with her myself is that you help her remember. Do things with her that would be familiar to Blair; but you were already doing that. Now I think it's best if I go."

Eric looked over at Chuck warily after he shut the door behind Dr. Michov. "What did you do?" He asked, voice suspicious.

Serena was a little slower on the uptake as she looked amongst the others confused, noting that Chuck had looked away. It was Cassie who finally spoke. "He and Anna-Blair slept together."

"Twice." Chuck added, looking back towards Eric. "Once after she danced on the stage at Victrola during the Masquerade last night and once after I gave her an Erickson Beamon necklace for her birthday today."

Serena's eyes widened as Eric looked as though he were about to fall over. "You didn't." Serena spoke shaking her head.

"What were you thinking?" Eric added taking a step forward. "Do you know how insane that makes you sound? You didn't know she was Blair and yet you were . . . I can't even think right now."

Chuck threw his arms out. "She is Blair, that's what matters."

A small smirk appeared on Serena's face as she shook her head. "You tell her that when she gets her memory back. She might decide she'd rather be with that boy from Texas."

Cassie snorted, calling attention to herself once more. She wasn't sure what was going on in the room right now, only that she was absorbing as much of the conversation as possible to use in the future since it appeared she was going to be stuck with these people. "Both of Anna's boys from Texas slept with Sam. I don't think they're going to be an issue anymore."

"Diego too?" Eric asked a look of surprise on his face. Jackson he expected, from what Anna had said the guy was a douche but Diego regardless of his bad side seemed to love her too much to do that.

Cassie nodded. "Last night, after Anna dumped him."

"Diego." Chuck spoke, his voice dark once more.

Cassie looked at Chuck strangely while nodding. "Yes that's what I said." She could only guess that Chuck was thinking back to the situation that had apparently occurred last night involving Anna, a situation she unfortunately knew nothing about.

Chuck shook his head. "Diego knows. Diego always knew."

Serena grabbed the desk behind her for support as her eyes searched Chuck's for a hint of doubt. "Wasn't that Anna's boyfriend?"

Eric ran a hand over his head before spitting out words that surprised everyone. "That fucker."

Chuck almost laughed but he was shaking too hard to manage it. It was a shocked Cassie who spoke. "There's no way he knew, that can't be possible. He knew how important it was to Anna that she learn who she is."

Chuck met Cassie's gaze directly, his look full of probing honesty. "Even if it meant losing her? Even if he knew that if she ever remembered she was Blair Waldorf she would never come near him again?"

"I don't understand." Cassie spoke quietly.

"Diego knew Blair. Blair knew Diego. He had a thing for her then and he's lied to me about her now." Chuck spat as fire flamed in his eyes. Diego had known and had done everything he could to make sure Chuck hadn't found out. That son-of-a-bitch.

Eric took another step forward, placing a hand on Chuck's arm. "Chuck . . ."

Chuck flinched as he seemed to come back down to reality from wherever he'd been the past few moments. Looking over at Cassie, his eyes had dulled but they still held the spark of anger. "My father and Diego's father did business growing up. We were friends even though his father was basically under my father's employ. He met Blair, spent time with her, and I could see the way he looked at her, like she could save him. That's why I should have realized the moment I saw Diego with Anna, I should have remembered that look in his eyes because he looked at Anna the same way."

Serena shook her head. "Are you sure she knew him Chuck? I don't remember him."

Chuck nodded. "I'm sure. Blair and I were scheming partners; Diego assisted a couple of times."

Cassie swallowed tightly giving Chuck a nod. "I've seen it, the look. The very first day of school junior year he saw Anna across the cafeteria and something came over Diego that I'd never seen before. For a moment I thought he knew her, I'd forgotten until you described the way he looks at her because he's looked at her like that from the moment he saw her and he still looks at her like that now. Diego knew."

Eric shook his head back and forth slowly before taking a seat. His knees had started to feel weak over the course of this conversation. It was surreal. None of them had believed this was possible and yet here they all were. Anna, the girl they'd all been swearing wasn't Blair, was in fact Blair. But they couldn't tell her because of the shock it might cause her to breakdown and they had now come to learn that Diego, someone they'd considered a friend, had known the truth. "This is going to be miserable isn't it?"

Chuck nodded before speaking, wary of the words he was about to say. "You know, the more people that know. . ."

Eric nodded resigned to the truth of Chuck's words before he'd even finished saying them. "I know."

"What are you saying?" Serena asked looking between the boys.

Cassie looked at the blonde girl and pursed her lips before speaking. "They're saying that this stays in this room." She hadn't decided how she felt about Serena yet. She'd heard things from Anna and Jenny about the girl; things she didn't like. But she clearly cared about Blair which meant that now she cared about Anna. "They are saying that we can't tell anyone else."

Serena exhaled looking around the room at everyone's expectant faces. They'd all silently seemed to have reached this agreement but it took Serena verbalizing it to make it sink in. "Okay then, it's just us."

Eric nodded as he forced himself to stand once more. "So what now?"

Chuck smirked as he looked at his little brother. "Now we go to Anna's birthday dinner."

"Oh God, I'd forgotten." Cassie spoke running a hand over her head.

Eric sighed loudly. "We don't have a choice, we can't just not show up at her birthday."

"And if we don't leave now we're going to be late." Chuck spoke walking quickly towards the door.

"I'm going with you." Serena spoke standing from where she'd been sitting on the table.

Everyone's eyes moved towards Serena surprised. "Anna thinks you hate her." Eric articulated for everyone.

Serena shook her head and crossed her arms. "I don't care I'm coming. You can tell her whatever you want about why I'm there. But now that I know. . ."

Eric exhaled before wrapping his arm around his sister. "Fine, come on then."

Following Eric and Serena out of the room, Chuck looked over at Cassie. "Thank you." He said earnestly. "You don't realize what you've given me, all of us really."

"I think I do." Cassie spoke, thinking back to Melanie. Sam's words earlier were still resonating. Anna had brought them all together, Sam had been the popular mean girl, Lina the sweet academic girl next door, then Cassie what was left of the dynamic duo. She was half of the inseparable pair of Cassie and Mel. One rarely did anything without the other and she'd lost half of her when Mel had died. "Melanie Carmichael-Getty was my best friend. She died in that storm but they thought that Blair was her. Mel's parents took Anna in and I did the same. I thought if they did it, I could too. Getting close to Anna was an accident and she helped to fill that void but she wasn't Mel. Anna has found herself a role all her own in my life but if I could have Mel back . . . I get it."

Chuck nodded, feeling his heart tighten just a little at the pain in Cassie's voice. As they walked through the door he met her gaze. "Anna's going to remember, she's already starting to in her dreams and I'm going to be there helping her every step of the way." Cassie nodded slowly and Chuck continued. "And I just wanted you to know what I told her last night. She asked me if I ever thought I could love someone the way I had Blair and I told her that I didn't until I met her."

Cassie smiled ever so slightly realizing that Chuck was telling her this so that she would know that he hadn't just fallen for Anna because he thought she was Blair, that he really loved her and she had nothing to worry about from him. "Okay." She said softly.

"All I meant earlier when I was talking about being happy is that to have all my dreams of Blair being alive existing inside of the woman I had fallen in love with gave me a sense of complete elation." Exhaling Chuck hesitated for a moment debating whether or not he could say what he felt he should say next, but Cassie's admission about Melanie gave him the needed push to say it. "I've been feeling this overwhelming guilt for over two years thinking that I was the reason she was dead. That guilt has been nagging at me recently because a part of me felt as though I was breaking a vow I had made to Blair by loving someone else when I'd sworn to her that she would be the only woman I would ever love."

Cassie's eyes widened in sudden understanding but she didn't say anything, waiting instead for Chuck to finish.

Chuck swallowed tightly. "When Anna told me the truth about the accident, for the first time in those two and a half years all of that guilt dissipated until it was just the two of us, just me and Anna. I had been right all along - I never could fall for someone other than Blair. Try as we might to deny it or say they are different people, at my core in my heart I always knew." Chuck paused for a moment, deciding whether or not to say the final words on his lips. "And I think that somewhere in your heart, you knew too."

Swallowing Cassie looked at Chuck, her dark eyes meeting his bronze ones directly. He'd just opened up his heart to her in a way she knew he hadn't done to many others; Chuck Bass was not the type to make himself vulnerable in any way shape or form. And in turn she felt safe offering a truth to him that she'd never shared with others. "I've consciously suspected since the night we all played truth or dare. I think that's part of the reason I encouraged Anna to stay away from you. I was scared to be wrong, but more than that I was scared to be right. But I think a part of me has known since the moment she and I saw the date that you tried to commit suicide because it was so close to the date of her own suicide attempt."

Chuck nodded, saying with his gesture that he understood what Cassie was saying; he understood that sometimes the gut knew things before the brain was willing to admit it and even when the brain admitted it, that was still a far cry from allowing those thoughts to be voiced. Before he could say anything more, Eric called back to them.

"Come on guys! I'm tired of holding this elevator while you chit chat back there." Eric spoke with a smirk. "Besides, we're already going to be late, if you take much longer we're going to miss the whole damn party."

Laughing slightly Chuck tugged on Cassie's arm, guiding her towards the open elevator doors. "It's going to be okay, you know." He said, keeping his voice low. "Neither of us will lose her, she'd never let that happen."

Nodding her head in response Cassie looked at Chuck one last time as they entered the elevator, allowing words she was thinking to simply slip out unbidden. "And neither would we."

At that Chuck smiled before echoing her sentiment. "Neither would we."

* * *

I've had this chapter mapped out for a while originally Anna was going to be in it more as the party was going to be here too but it got too long so I bumped the party. I know a lot of you had been concerned in your reviews about some things concerning Chuck loving Anna – I didn't respond to the reviews because I knew that this chapter answered those concerns. As for the Sam comments that I'm sure I'll be hearing, just know that I'm not saying she should be forgiven, I just wanted you to know a little bit about why she is the way she is and why she acts like she does, none of my characters are ever black or white (the closest is probably Eric because I kinda worship him lol).

Anyways I look forward to hearing what you guys think!

xoxo-kate


	29. Worth Waiting For

I know, it's been forever, my last semester of college was stressful to say the least and writers block was really killing me; however, I'm finally unstuck on this story and am making headway on the next chapter after this so hopefully I'll have another chapter up soon. Also since the hyperlinks in the profile don't work anymore I've pasted the link to my flickr in my profile for all the photos I had up.

A note: I know that TV Show Blair didn't smoke but she did in the books and I never really got that trait out of my head.

To my reviewers: **LovelyLydia, anon, Krazy4Spike, sallysally, AquarianAir, Mcsexielover, Rf, teddy bear, wrighthangal, bfan, Hannah, 1MIKITAFANFORLIFE, ggloverxx19, Kels, choppymonster, HarryPotterfanforeverr123, CarolinaGirl21, SouthernBelle88, LitPrincess2787, Sw33tHeart21, harperrose15, GGfanficfan09, soso4662, olimgossip, Eimxx, LeftWriter224, annablake, Cassie1117, Elliott Harper Rose, Joyce, ImaDayDREAMER08, ggkat1207, twistedfate13, ebs12, and blairforever. **Thanks for sticking around and pestering me to get this chapter finished, I know it took a long time but it really helped motivate me to know that you guys were anxiously waiting for an update.

To my beta: ggff-fan you absolutely rock, thanks soooooo much as always.

* * *

**Chapter 29: Worth Waiting For**

"This is good." Anna spoke with a smile as she got out her card to pay the cab fare. As she paid, she motioned Jenny and Dan to go on, following close behind them.

Dan offered her his arm as she stepped onto the sidewalk and she took it with a smile. At the same time she linked her other arm with Jenny's. Dan looked at her curiously as she took a few quick steps forward, almost pulling them along with her. "In a hurry?" He asked, moving quickly to keep up.

Anna shook her head and continued towards the restaurant. "Not really, I just don't want to be late."

Jenny hadn't noticed anything until Dan mentioned something but now that she thought about it, she could see that Anna was acting weird. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Anna asked, eyebrows raised and voice a bit higher than normal. She wasn't sure what had her anxious but she knew she didn't really want to discuss it.

Jenny's eyes narrowed in concern. "I don't know. You just seem on edge." Anna was shrugging it off but Jenny wasn't dropping it just yet. "Is it about what we talked about earlier? Did you get a chance to talk to Chuck?"

Dan's head snapped towards the girls as he caught on to the fact that he wasn't clued in on this conversation. Choosing to stay quiet and listen rather than interrupt he didn't say anything.

Anna shook her head, a smile briefly crossing her face. "We talked. He gave me this necklace." She spoke gesturing down with her chin.

Immediately Jenny's eyes followed her movement and what she saw there shocked her. A necklace would have been fine, appropriate even, for such an occasion, it was simply _**the**_ necklace that he'd gifted that concerned her. "The new Erickson Beamon."

Anna nodded as she remembered him presenting it to her; no one had ever made her feel quite as special as Chuck had. "I think perhaps I'm a bit nervous about everyone's reactions."

"To the necklace?" Jenny asked, surprise tearing through her. How much did Anna know? Did she realize the significance of the necklace that Chuck had given her? Another necklace would have been fine but not an Erickson Beamon; even though it wasn't the same one that didn't make it less strange.

Anna shook her head, a little confused by Jenny's assumptive response that had come so quickly. "No, I meant about this thing that I have going on with Chuck. We haven't actually defined things yet but I was with someone else only yesterday, reactions could be . . . harsh."

Dan tried not to reel back in shock. He'd had no idea that things had progressed so immediately with Chuck and Anna. Pushing away the sting he felt he gave her arm a light squeeze. "Everyone here tonight is your friend. All any of us wants is for you to be happy."

"I know." Nodding Anna continued into the restaurant, trying to push back the strange anxiety that seemed to be threatening to take over. It was her birthday, yet she couldn't seem to control the nerves that had her fidgeting.

As the trio walked into the bar it was a very different emotion that hit Anna as her eyes immediately found someone she hadn't expected to see. She should have restrained herself and gotten a better look first but vision couldn't change what instinct knew and before she could think twice she was rushing to meet the smiling face of one of her best friends. Wrapping her arms tightly around Lina she smiled brightly. "It's so good to see you!" She exclaimed sincerely.

Lina smiled as her hold on Anna tightened. She was almost laughing at Anna's enthusiasm. "You too. I've missed you."

Pulling back Anna shook her head with awe. "What are you doing here?"

"Did you really think I was going to miss your birthday?" Lina smiled sweetly. "It's not that long of a train journey you know."

Still smiling Anna squeezed her friend's hands lightly. "How long are you here for?"

At that, Lina's smile dropped a bit. "Only for dinner I'm afraid. I actually have to catch the train back at midnight."

Before Anna could respond she became aware of a darker presence over Lina's shoulder and felt herself become tense. Her eyes didn't have to look to know who was there. "What are you doing here?" She asked a sneer in her voice.

At first Lina thought Anna was talking to her but then she realized she must have been talking about Diego. Turning her head she looked over curiously at the young man who'd been waiting on the party to arrive with her. Noting his almost tortured gaze she looked back at Anna and saw something she hadn't seen for a very long time - her friend's gaze was filled with a fiery fury. "I thought you guys were together."

Anna was glaring daggers at Diego though her face remained the picture of calm. She felt, rather than saw, Dan take a protective step closer . . . so he knew what Diego had done, she thought to herself though she still allowed it. "What are you doing here?" She repeated, voice icy.

Diego took a careful step forwards. The look in her eyes was murderous and any sane person would walk away; but he wouldn't back down, not about this. "I wanted to see you." He spoke exhaling. "To wish you a happy birthday."

"That could have best been accomplished by following my wishes and staying away." She snapped critically.

Diego shook his head stepping closer towards her, his steps still cautious. "I'm so sorry Anna, for all of it."

As Diego neared Anna, Dan decided it was time to intervene and took a step between them. "Man I think it's time you go."

"Anna…" Diego appealed, his voice pleading.

But Anna shook her head, holding her ground. No look in his eyes could convince her otherwise, no matter how tragic. "Dan's right. Please leave."

Lina turned her body which had been angled between the two of them until she was standing next to Anna. Slipping her hand into Anna's she gave it a light squeeze. "What's going on here?" She spoke quietly near Anna's ear.

Anna tilted her head in Lina's direction whispering into her friend's ear. "Later." She spoke withdrawing her hand. As she did she failed to notice Diego's immediate proximity. Startled she looked up into his eyes, astonished by the determination that lay in their depths.

Utilizing her moment of surprise Diego leaned in and pressed a kiss on her forehead. Grasping her hands in his he placed something into her hand, closing her fingers around the small object. "My father gave me this the night he died; he said it would protect me. It's where he got his name, it's where I got mine. I want you to have it."

Anna didn't respond, her skin tingled in the place where his lips had touched and his low voice rumbled against her ear. She knew that no one else had heard, she also knew the significance of whatever he was giving her. For a moment she was frozen, Diego's hands still clasped around her own.

Diego would have been content to stand there forever, exchanging air with her, feeling her skin against his but as Dan's hand tugged on his arm and pulled him back he didn't resist. Walking out of the restaurant he knew he'd done what he needed to do, just as he knew that if he stayed much longer the risk of running into Chuck was high. Chuck was currently someone he didn't want to see because as much as he wanted to hate him, he felt indebted to him for saving her. He couldn't deal with the weight of that debt, not when he was going to do his damnedest to steal her back.

Both blondes stood watching curiously, wondering just what had happened. Both watched as Anna looked down and opened her hands, both watched her flinch almost imperceptibly and both leaned forwards in attempt to see what she saw. "What is it?" Jenny finally asked.

Anna trailed her fingers over the design on the pendant, taking a moment before speaking. Instead she held out her hand so that they could see.

"I've seen Diego wearing this before." Lina spoke curiously.

Anna nodded trying to push back the threat of tears. "I've never seen him without it." She spoke her voice almost cracking.

Pursing her lips Lina pulled Anna into a tight hug. "Whatever happened, I'm sorry. I know how you feel about him."

As the girls untangled themselves they saw Dan and Jenny standing there both with a slightly disapproving look on their face, though it was Jenny who finally spoke. "Don't forget what he did to you."

Nodding Anna brushed back the tears. "I still love him, I can't just turn it off. It's hard to think about what happened last night. It hurts to think about. And even though I know he wasn't there, he didn't do it; I feel like he failed to be there for me in every way that matters, he didn't protect me."

Lina didn't know exactly what Anna was talking about but with Diego involved she knew it could be bad. Lina wasn't sure what to say though it turned out she didn't have to say anything as Dan began to speak.

"It's St. Michael, right? The defender?" Dan asked as he looked at the pendant.

Anna pressed her lips together, thinking about just what Diego had said. It made sense, Diego and his father had shared the name Angel and this pendant was of the angel responsible for protecting and defending. She was transfixed for a moment before she heard Jenny cough lightly bringing her back to the present.

Snapping her head up Anna smiled graciously. "I apologize, Lina this is Jenny who you've heard about and this is her brother Dan." Lina smiled and both Jenny and Dan gave nods of acknowledgment. And it was so small that Anna almost missed it. She had been looking at Jenny and Dan and if she'd turned a moment later she wouldn't have seen the spark of interest in Lina's gaze as she observed Dan.

Checking the time Anna smirked, the rest of her friends were late. Shaking her head she looked at her companions. "Let's go ahead and have them take us to our table, they'll find us when they get here." Truly she had alternative motives. Now that she'd see the possibility of something in Lina's gaze she wanted to test it out and if they were seated first that meant she had a bit of control over the seating arrangement.

Jenny noticed immediately what Anna was doing as she casually manipulated their seating to have Dan and Lina sit across from one another. She had to hold back a bit of a smirk as she lifted an eyebrow at Anna. Anna batted her eyes innocently in return but it was clear that Jenny had seen exactly what she was doing; sometimes it was scary the way they could each read manipulation.

Jenny would have said something, something that the other two wouldn't have picked up on but as she began to speak she saw a light in Anna's eyes and knew that the time had passed and the others had arrived. Turning she smiled as their friends walked in, there would be time for discussion later. After all there was quite a bit that she and Anna needed to talk about.

Cassie walked in front sharing what appeared to be an excited smile; but Jenny immediately noticed that it was strained and knew Anna would definitely see it as well. She continued to be confused as Chuck followed, a strange nervous edge to his movements. Sparing a glance back at Anna, she saw her brightly glowing smile as she viewed the arriving guests but upon further inspection she noticed the slight glint of her eye that indicated that she recognized something was off.

Chuck had been a nervous wreck all the way here. He was about to knowingly see Blair for the first time in 2 years. He didn't know how to act, what to say, what to do. How do you look at someone you've fallen in love with once you discover they're the same person you fell in love with years ago? The person you thought was dead. The moment Chuck's eyes laid on her and her smile illuminated across her face, his heart felt as though it were exploding and the answer was perfectly clear: you look at them the same way you always have.

For a moment Anna was uncertain. Both Cassie and Chuck had the strangest looks on their face and though she couldn't deny the warmth that rushed through her when her eyes met Chuck's own, she still felt a certain amount of tension. Chuck was around the table taking a seat next to her by the time Eric walked into the room, speaking in a way that could almost be considered babbling. Eric did not babble.

"So sorry we're late. We got caught up in traffic. We were all at the Palace, not together, but we ran into each other and so we took the limo." Eric felt the words uncharacteristically tumble from his mouth and cringed; but even as he did he kept walking into the room, knowing what followed behind. He felt the room still as he knew it would when they saw her.

Surprise flitted throughout the room as the various guests saw Serena standing behind Eric and although she was striking as always she looked almost feral. There was a sensation of an animal deciding between fight or flight. Something wild lay in her eyes as they jerked around the room until they landed on Anna, it was then that she seemed to calm, her face relaxing. "I hope I'm not intruding." She spoke, her voice much calmer than she felt; yet still she could hear a certain pleading quality in it.

Anna's eyes narrowed only a fraction, her brows furrowing as she looked amongst her recently arrived guests. Cassie gave a slight shrug, Chuck a half grimace, but it was Eric who finally seemed to crack. Exhaling he looked between his sister and Blair, trying his best to focus on the plan. "Serena heard I was in town and came up to visit, I hope it's alright that I brought her along."

Inhaling deeply Anna took only a moment to focus and compose herself before presenting the smile of a gracious host. "Of course." Though as everyone took a seat she leaned over and spoke into Chuck's ear, her voice almost a hiss. "What's she doing here? Doesn't she hate me?"

Chuck rolled his lips realizing just how deep a hole that Serena had dug with Anna who they now knew was really Blair. At that thought he almost had to shake his head, it was all still so surreal. But instead he pushed himself forward, feeling as though he owed it to Serena to help her. "She never hated you. You shocked her, Serena doesn't do well with surprises, not since Blair left."

Exhaling Anna paused before giving him a slight nod. "One more chance, but just because she's your family."

Chuck smiled because he'd always appreciated beyond words how much Blair worked to give him a family and now it appeared that she was going to make an exception for the same reason. Looking into her eyes he wondered how he could have ever doubted her identity. "Thank you." He spoke softly before turning his attention back to the table where conversations had begun to pick up.

Anna felt the minutes slip by as their courses began to arrive. Conversation wasn't exactly flowing, something about it seemed disjointed as though no one was having the same conversation. Everyone seemed to be talking in small groups and for the first time Anna realized that maybe this was too mixed of a group of people.

And it didn't help that everyone was acting strangely. Chuck seemed determined to be touching her at all times, his hand continually slid over to her thigh which was awkward because she wasn't certain who at the table actually knew of their relationship. He'd always been affectionate but this was to the extreme. And then Dan didn't appear to be quite as over her as she'd thought he was as he appeared to be directing all of his attention towards her; something that had Serena glaring daggers and Chuck locking his jaw. Yet Lina, oblivious as always, was hanging on to Dan's every word. While Eric's head was turning back and forth between all the ongoing conversations as though there might be an explosion at any time.

But it wasn't just the boys acting strangely, the girls were doing weird things too. Cassie had been quiet, mostly watching everything and trying to defuse a few of the more potentially disastrous conversations. She hadn't even really been conversing with Lina. But really the only person Lina appeared to be conversing with was Dan; which Anna fully supported, but she knew it wouldn't last much longer unreciprocated. She wasn't sure if what Serena was doing was strange or not since she didn't really know her but the blonde kept looking at her oddly. Sometimes she'd be glaring at someone at the table, usually Dan or strangely Cassie, but other times she'd be looking at whoever Anna was in conversation with almost enviously.

Jenny was the only person at the table not acting abnormally though at this point Anna would have welcomed it because Jenny was being her regular self and smirking at the show before her. At one point Jenny almost burst out laughing as Dan practically fell over himself complimenting Anna.

"No really Anna, you might be the smartest person I know." Dan grinned almost goofishly. "Seriously guys, we have this Professor Kyle Hedlund who hates everyone but even she loves Anna."

"You're too nice." Anna laughed and squeezed Chuck's knee in reassurance.

Lina on the other hand beamed at Dan and nodded. "Anna was Valedictorian in high school."

Eric looked at Serena, trying to gauge her reaction to everything so far and he tensed at the look in her eyes. Knowing that Anna was Blair was torturous for her, that much was completely obvious. And it seemed to be making her as angry as it was making Chuck that Dan was throwing himself at her. He looked to Cassie for some kind of help or reassurance but she did nothing more than purse her lips.

Shaking her head Anna pursed her lips at Jenny who was still trying not to laugh as Lina fawned over Dan who was fawning over Anna. "You're not helping." She mouthed her lips barely moving though she knew Jenny would still get the message.

Jenny's bottom lip slipped out as she pouted, making it clear that the circus was entertaining to her. She wasn't sure what had gotten into everyone tonight but they certainly appeared to be acting in extremes. But it was Anna's birthday dinner and if she wanted help defusing the situation Jenny would help. Rolling her eyes Jenny reached over and tugged Dan's elbow before whispering in his ear. "Could you be any more obvious?"

Dan's head snapped towards Jenny as he tilted his head confused. "What are you talking about Jen?"

Jenny placed a tensed smile on her face as she spoke through her teeth. "I'm talking about the fact that you're so far up Anna's ass that you're likely to die from asphyxiation. And that's if Chuck doesn't get to you first."

Dan laughed as he shook his head, completely ready to brush Jenny off until he looked back towards Anna and Chuck. Anna looked mildly uncomfortable but Chuck's emotions were much more evident and the look written all over his face was a thinly veiled warning. Relaxing back into his seat Dan looked around the rest of the table before leaning his head back over towards Jenny. "Okay you're right."

Jenny smirked. "Of course I'm right. Now why don't you pay attention to the beautiful girl across from you who has clearly been flirting with you all through dinner."

Dan shook his head, grinning sheepishly at Jenny, while skirting his eyes towards Lina, noticing for the first time her cornflower blue eyes. "No she's not." He spoke softly. "She's too perfect to be interested in someone like me."

At that Jenny actually scoffed. "You know I've always wondered how you got the girls you do but maybe it's that whole I'm-not-good-enough-but-I-worship-the-ground-you-walk-on thing." Jenny tilted her head slighted as she began to tick the girls off in her head. "I mean, Serena Van Der Woodsen, Vanessa Abrams, Georgina Sparks, Olivia Burke, and now Lina Caruthers. Yes it has to be the self-depreciation thing."

Dan's eyes narrowed only slightly. "No. Come on Jen. Seriously?" Jenny laughed but the lift of her eyebrows told him she was only halfway joking but he rolled his eyes anyway. As he did, his eyes once more found Lina and he couldn't help but grin as his eyes connected with hers. Now that he was aware of the way she was looking at him, he couldn't help but look appreciatively back at her.

Jenny rolled her eyes as she watched her brother first observe, then appreciate, then become almost instantly smitten with the obviously charming girl in front of him before looking back towards Anna and lifting her eyebrows.

Anna tipped her head in acknowledgement towards Jenny even as Jenny's smirk clearly exclaimed, _Anything you can do . . . _Laughing she leaned back only to find Chuck's arm resting along the back of her chair. "Ohh" She spoke softly as her back arched in surprise.

Chuck's hand slipped forwards until it rested on her shoulder which he gave a light squeeze and just that small point of contact sent feelings of incredible joy throughout him. This was Blair, this was the love of his life, she was alive and she was here. "What's going on with Dan? He's acting like a lunatic."

"No more than usual." Anna said smiling as she leaned a bit further forwards, as she did she cast furtive glances around the table to check whose eyes were on them. Cassie and Eric were both watching almost curiously, as though they weren't quite sure what to make of the situation. Jenny was smirking, Dan and Lina were in their own little world as they matched literary wits, but it was Serena whose gaze was once more throwing her. The blonde looked as though she were in pain and for a moment Anna was distracted from trying to keep this new thing with Chuck on the downlow. "What's with Serena?" She asked curiously, tiling her head towards Chuck.

Chuck was momentarily thrown, he was always so good at keeping up with her but sometimes she caught him off guard. He was about to ask what she was referring to, hoping to dismiss her concerns and protect the secret they were keeping when he saw Serena's face. She literally looked as though she might start crying at any moment. "I'm not sure, perhaps I should go check on her."

Anna smiled giving Chuck's hand a light squeeze. She knew how important his family was to him and that was her way of telling him to go ahead.

Chuck looked at Anna and smiled, brushing his fingers along her cheek and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're beautiful."

"Chuck." Anna said laughing and averting her head towards the rest of the table, hoping they weren't being too obvious.

Chuck shook his head and smiled, his eyes alight with amazement. He couldn't help but think how much of Blair was already showing through, especially her support of him and his family. So he chose to focus on that rather than the fact that he could feel her brushing off his affections. Stepping up from the table and walking to where Serena was seated, he only slightly touched her elbow before gesturing for to follow with his head.

Serena rolled her eyes as she knew they'd now garnered the attention of the table as a whole but she didn't resist as she followed Chuck out. "What's this about?" She asked leaning against the wall outside the bathrooms.

Chuck exhaled before placing his hands on Serena's shoulders. "You're one of my best friends, you're my sister, and I love you but if you're going to compromise everything you can't stay."

Serena's eyes widened first with surprise and affection, then narrowed as Chuck continued speaking. "You can't just tell me to leave."

"I can if you continue to draw attention to yourself. You've been staring at Blair like a lost puppy all night and she's noticed." Chuck spat. "You're freaking her out and I think it's causing her to act jumpy."

"Whatever." Serena spoke trying to brush him off but Chuck only tightened his grip on her arms. Turning her head to face him she grimaced. "When did Dan fall in love with her anyway? And why on Earth is Jenny so far up her ass?"

At that Chuck almost laughed realizing for the first time that Serena was jealous. It made sense after all, Blair was her best friend and yet right now she wasn't. "She and Jenny are close, really close from what I've seen. For the record I don't think Cassie's happy about that one either. Look." He said, gesturing towards the table that he could see around the corner.

Serena turned her head around the corner to steal a glance only to see Jenny and Anna laughing while Cassie watched on in consternation. "Okay I guess you're right - but what about Dan?"

Chuck actually frowned, Dan had been bothering him too but he didn't want to admit that he was still insecure in his relationship with Anna. "I didn't realize that either until tonight, I'd never really seen them together. But from what I can see she's adequately diverted his attentions elsewhere." As he finished speaking he looked back at Serena finding her much calmer than when he'd brought her away from the table. "So tell me, can you handle this?"

"Yeah I can handle it." Serena spoke softly, knowing that it would take considerable effort not to stare at Blair the rest of dinner. "It's just, it feels like I can't get enough of seeing her. Now that I know she's Blair it's like there's a fear inside of me that she'll disappear again if I blink."

Chuck nodded, drawing Serena's elbow back towards the group. "I know the feeling." He spoke quietly, because he did. "But now we should be getting back." They walked back to the table smiling and they didn't even have to fake it. Walking towards his seat Chuck was about to sit down, next to an obviously curious Anna when Lina said something that made him flinch.

"Oh my god guys I forgot to tell you about my roommate she like freaked when she saw a picture of Anna!" Lina exclaimed.

Chuck exchanged a quick look with his end of the table before swallowing tightly and settling back into his seat; this could be very bad. "Who's your roommate?" He asked his voice dark. "What did she say?" What if whoever the roommate was knew about the crash that Blair was supposed to have died in?

Lina's head tilted in confusion as a smile hit her features. "Jackie Yukie. She kept saying how her sister was friends with that girl and asking how I knew her. It took her like forever to believe that Anna wasn't Blair. Way longer than it took you guys!"

Chuck breathed I sigh of relief, Jackie wouldn't have known about Blair's "death" that's why she wouldn't believe it wasn't Blair, but it was Serena spoke, doing so for the first time since they'd arrived.

"Nelly's little sister. I had forgotten she went to Yale too." Serena spoke absentmindedly, drawing stares from the whole table but especially from Anna. "Nelly was one of our friends in high school." Eric coughed slightly noticing the overly intense way that Serena was looking at Anna. Serena snapped out of her daze quite suddenly before giving an almost sheepish smile. "Most of them didn't even realize Blair took off like she did, no wonder it freaked Jackie out. Not to mention Blair's the reason Jackie didn't go to Constance." Serena laughed as she remembered the day that Blair declared no younger siblings could attend the same prep schools as their older sisters.

Anna gazed at Serena strangely. She could tell that Serena seemed lost in a memory but this time she didn't seem angry. For once in her presence Anna wasn't entirely uncomfortable yet at the same time she was still kind of weirded out by the other girl's behavior. She was just about to say something to the blonde when Cassie's voice cut sharply through her reverie.

"So how are you handling the Sam situation?" Cassie had been sitting there quietly trying to do her best to tone down the tenseness that seemed to be ever increasing amongst those at the table. But she could see Anna getting too curious about what was going on with Serena and knew that she had to say something to stop it.

Anna felt the sharp intake of breath that slipped through her lips and almost shocked her lungs. That was a curve ball that she hadn't expected from Cassie. And now every eye at the table was fixed on her. She glanced around the group noting that some were curious other anxious but none of them confused which was surprising in and of itself. Which is why her gaze narrowed on Lina.

Exhaling before grimacing sheepishly, Lina spoke her voice soft. "Jackson might have called me."

"Of course he did." Anna said with a scoff. She couldn't help but shake her head. This was not something she really wanted to talk about but she wasn't at all surprised that Jackson had called Lina, they were best friends.

Lina tilted her head as she bit her lip, eyes filling quickly with compassion. "Is it really upsetting you that much? It was so long ago. You have to forgive them eventually."

Jenny's lips formed a snarl as her eyes formed what had to be close to slits. "Like hell she does. After what the three of them did to her...No."

At that Lina's eyebrows lifted. "Three?"

Chuck's hand slipped to Blair's which it clenched tightly as he tried his best not to get angry at this conversation; he thought he might speak but it was Jenny who's ice filled voice spoke. "Diego. Sam slept with Diego."

"Oh." Lina breathed softly. But her heart which was constantly overriding every other part of her couldn't help the next words that slipped from her lips. "I'm sure there were reasons behind them, that they were mistakes, you can't just cut the people you love out of your life because they screwed up. That isn't you."

Anna pulled back, mouth slipping open in shock; as she did she slipped her hand from Chuck's aware that he'd grabbed for her hand in plain view of the rest of the table. This was classic Lina so she shouldn't be surprised but honestly she hadn't expected it. She wasn't sure what she was going to say but it turned out she didn't have to say anything at all as Cassie cut in.

"She gets to be mad at them for as long as she damn well pleases." Cassie spoke, her voice low, once more drawing surprised looks from the others. She might understand Sam's side of things but Anna still had every right in the world to be angry with them.

Lina's eyes widen in surprise and she knew that just about everyone at the table seems to disagree with her but Anna was still sat there looking at her almost curiously. She seemed to be the one person who's actually listening to what she was saying and Lina knew it's because Anna knew on some level that she was right. However, it was Cassie that she directed her next words to. "Give them a break Cass, it was one time, forever ago. And whatever happened with Diego I'm sure it was some kind of horrible mistake."

Cassie swallowed, feeling the temper she'd been trying to keep at bay slip from her as Lina's words touched a nerve. "God damn it Lina, it wasn't only one time."

"What?" Lina asked her mouth falling open in surprise. That wasn't what Jackson had led her to believe at all.

"You heard me." Cassie said darkly as she realized just what she'd done. Everyone at the table's eyes were on her, each of them filled with shock. No one had known, Sam had only admitted it to her. Shrinking back into the chair she watched their individual reactions.

Serena, Eric, and Dan seemed surprised but not overly alarmed. Chuck's nostrils were flaring, it was evident he didn't like the idea of anyone hurting Anna/Blair but it was the other three, Jenny, Anna, and Lina who truly appeared shocked.

"Oh my God." Jenny said, surprised at the snark evident in her own voice.

Anna on the other hand couldn't help but stifle a laugh, hardly believing this could possibly be the truth. "Wow. . . You're serious aren't you?"

Cassie swallowed. "Yes. You should talk to her though . . . there's a lot she needs to explain." She saw the looks on both Jenny and Anna's faces and instantly issued a rebuttal to her own comment. "But don't do it until you're ready; right now you get to be mad."

Anna's head tilted ever so slightly to the side as she observed Cassie. So much had happened in the past two days and everyone was telling her what she needed to do. She couldn't seem to quite comprehend all of it in a mature fashion and the fact that Chuck's hand was currently resting on her thigh wasn't helping. Internally she was freaking out, there was too much going on. "I think I need a minute." She spoke, standing abruptly.

Chuck started to stand but she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please." She spoke softly, doing her best to let him know that she needed to be by herself.

As she was walking out of the room, Jenny ever so briefly managed to catch her eye and when she saw the panic laced there she immediately stood and followed, much to the barely hidden chagrin of everyone else at the table.

Watching Jenny follow Blair out of the room Chuck began to glower. This wasn't right, this wasn't how this was supposed to go. All he wanted was for her to have a good birthday and for the two of them to be together but she'd been giving him the cold shoulder all night. And now he just wanted to be there for her and she was refusing to let him. Looking around the table he could see similar looks on the others faces - they were all here for her and yet there was nothing they could do.

Cassie looked to her side to meet Serena's gaze for only a moment before she decided to risk at least a bit of comfort, the girl was clearly distressed. "Are you okay?" She asked quietly, hoping that Dan and Lina were still occupied enough in their own world that they wouldn't notice.

Serena looked at Cassie for a long moment. She'd just met this girl and a very big part of her wanted to hate her because she was Anna's best friend but the girl was being so nice that it made it difficult. And something about Cassie's eyes was telling Serena that she would understand. "I'm so jealous right now that I feel like I might rip someone's hair out. She's my best friend but I don't have that connection with her; not like you do, not like Lina does, and even Jenny's closer to her than I am. Blair hated Jenny."

Cassie pressed her lips tightly together before speaking quietly. "I'm jealous too."

Serena's head snapped back towards Cassie with a look of pure confusion on her face. "Why? You have what I want."

Cassie shook her head carefully, being very judicious about her words. "First of all Jenny drives me fucking crazy, I don't think she's a great influence for Anna."

Serena scoffed slightly. "If we're trying to get her back to being Blair, then Jenny might be the perfect influence. No one did scheme like Blair Waldorf, Jenny could bring that out in her, she usually did."

Cassie's nose wrinkled momentarily. Anna never had problems with a takedown but it seemed like Blair might have been even more serious about scheming that Anna, although that wasn't the point of what she was trying to say to Serena. "Nevertheless, I'm jealous of you. Because eventually she's going to remember and you're going to have your best friend back, but no matter what happens my best friend - the girl that did die on that cruise ship - is gone and now I'm going to lose Anna too."

Serena reached over and placed a hand on Cassie's arm because in their brief conversation Cassie had gone from comforting her to needing comforting and the way that the brunette explained everything Serena couldn't help but feel that she had a point. "She'll still be Anna too. You won't lose her."

Cassie smiled at Serena, not as certain of that as the blonde seemed to be but in that moment she felt as though they were friends and she was happy about it. Serena was going to be a part of her life now.

Eric listened quietly to the hushed voices of Serena and Cassie before he turned to look at Chuck after shooting a careful glance at Lina and Dan who were very clearly absorbed with each other. "And are you okay?" He asked, repeating Cassie's words.

Chuck frowned as he gazed at Eric almost impassively. "I should be. I have everything I've ever wanted."

"But for some reason you're not." Eric spoke understandingly. Chuck looked as though a war was raging beneath the surface and he would love to be able to be there for him but he didn't know how.

Chuck shook his head. "No, I'm not. On some level this makes everything so much more difficult. My heart is saying that it always knew that Anna and Blair were the same person but my brain is saying that isn't true and now I'm in love with two different women, two women who happen to inhabit the same body and it's so damn confusing. And I don't know how to be there for Anna without now expecting her to be Blair."

Eric exhaled, he wasn't sure that Chuck was going to level with him but it seemed as though he was doing plenty of that. "We're going to get through this. As for being in love with Anna and Blair, just remember that both Anna and Blair love you."

"Well right now she's giving me mixed signals. She disappeared after the first time we slept together but then I met her today, gave her the necklace and we made love. She told me she didn't want to fight her feelings for me anymore but now she's shutting me down at every turn. I don't know what changed." Chuck sighed, exasperated.

Eric actually laughed as Chuck finished, it was clear it had been a long time since he was in the new stage of a relationship, he was out of practice and Eric knew that it must be even more frustrating now that he knew that Anna was Blair. "Sorry I don't mean to laugh," He spoke, sobering up before smirking at Chuck. "Did you ever think maybe you should just ask her?"

Chuck practically huffed as he crossed his arms, he knew he was acting like a petulant child but honestly he couldn't help it. He didn't understand women sometimes. "I suppose that would work."

Laughing again, Eric realized they'd likely trusted that Dan and Lina weren't listening enough for one night and began to make an effort to engage them in a table wide conversation.

* * *

Jenny still hadn't seen Anna when she made it to the front of the restaurant. Pausing briefly near the front she asked if they'd seen a brunette and thanked them as they directed her outside. What she saw there shocked her enough that she almost had to place her hand against the building for support. "Anna?" She asked drawing the other girl's attention.

Anna's head snapped towards Jenny and the half gone cigarette slipped through her fingers. Eyes wide she met Jenny's realizing that she'd been caught doing something she wasn't entirely proud of.

"You smoke?" Jenny asked, her voice cautious as she watched Anna rub out the stub with the toe of her shoe.

Anna bit her lip slightly before giving Jenny a careful nod. "Sometimes when I'm really anxious and I feel like I'm about to lose control I take a few drags on a cigarette and it centers me." She looked away laughing almost darkly. "I think I must have picked it up from Diego when we were lab partners junior year."

Looking back up she noticed that Jenny was still staring at her with a carefully constructed ambivalence on her face and Anna found herself struggling to defend her actions. "I actually hate the smell and I've only done it like 10 times ever, it's just right now in there I thought I was about to lose it. I don't know how to deal with all of that, especially not all at the same time."

Jenny shook her head slowly stepping forward. "You don't have to explain yourself to me Anna." As she did she pulled a pack of cigarettes of her own from her purse and held them in her hand. "See."

Anna laughed, noting that the mood still seemed quite dark but she couldn't assess why until Jenny continued speaking. "It's just it surprised me because Blair used to do the same thing. When she was younger she thought it made her bad ass to smoke or maybe it was secretly because Audrey Hepburn did it. But when I knew her, she did it to control what she was feeling. It calmed her too."

"Oh." Anna spoke softly as she found herself wrapping her arms around her own small frame. "So it's just another way that we're similar isn't it?"

Jenny nodded. "I'm not sure I would tell Chuck…" Jenny was going to say more, something to explain herself but a loud exhale from Anna interrupted her thoughts. "That's what has you stressed out isn't it? It's something to do with Chuck."

Anna pressed her lips together tightly as she met Jenny's gaze. "Chuck, Sam, Serena, even Cassie. Everything is such a mess and there's just all this pressure…" She paused for a moment, straightening her spine. "I love Chuck, I'm in love with Chuck but I haven't told any of my friends from Texas yet and to be honest I don't know how."

"Not his biggest fans?" Jenny asked perceptively, knowing she'd likely hit the nail on the head.

Anna exhaled and nodded. "It's not like they really liked Diego that much either but when I was cheating on Diego with Chuck - Cassie was really defensive of Diego. And Lina would rather I be with Jackson. And Chuck is pushing so hard, he's not picking up on any of my hints that I'm not ready to be that public."

Jenny shook her head laugh lightly. "Oh Anna, that's Chuck being subtle."

"What?" Anna asked in surprise.

Jenny leaned back against the wall, lighting a cigarette of her own and offering one to Anna, who shook her head as she declined. "Trust me, I didn't find it obvious and if Chuck was really pushing for PDA it would have been beyond obvious. He's a possessive son of a bitch when he wants to be. Most likely he just wants to be near to you, after all you practically saved his life."

Anna shook her head slightly. "I didn't…"

"Yes you did." Jenny interrupted. "You have no idea what he was like before you got here. It was like some kind of zombie version of Chuck. And the change is all you." Taking a long drag on her cigarette she turned her head to look at Anna. "Don't worry about Chuck, he loves you, he'll wait until you're ready."

Smiling Anna leaned against the wall herself. "Thanks Jen."

Jenny shrugged nonchalantly. "Ehh it's true." Pressing her lips together she thought back to what they'd spoken about since she'd come outside, cigarettes, pressure, Blair, Chuck, Cassie, which left Sam and Serena on Anna's list of worries. "So what's Serena done that has you anxious?" She started deciding to go for the more confusing point first.

Exhaling loudly Anna thought for a moment about how best to phrase what she was thinking. "It's weird. First she wants nothing to do with me and now she's at my birthday dinner hanging on my every word. And the way she's been staring at me is just beyond creepy."

Again Jenny shrugged. "Serena's weird sometimes. She's probably coming to the same conclusion that the rest of us did months ago and has decided to give you a chance. The girl was always a bit slow on the uptake." Jenny said with a laugh.

Anna was nodding so Jenny decided to move on to the final matter at hand. Using her heel to push of the wall she turned to face Anna. "So that leaves us with Sam."

"That it does." Anna replied, running a hand through her hair. "I didn't know that she and Jackson had . . .an affair. I thought it was one time."

Jenny looked at her strangely, Anna's voice sounded so...detached. "Does that make it harder, to forgive her I mean? Does it make you more angry than you were?"

Anna tried her best to sort out her feelings. "I don't think so. At least it doesn't make me more angry at Sam. I think it makes me more angry at myself for not seeing it. It makes me want to know what's been going on with her because I can see Sam sleeping with Diego and Jackson once but an affair isn't her style. Which means there's something going on that I missed and it bothers me."

"But you're still angry as hell?" Jenny concluded with a smirk on her face.

Anna nodded an almost cruel look gracing her face for the slightest of moments. "Part of me wants to destroy her."

Jenny's smirk grew until it was almost a smile. "Then how about we settle for a nice medium...something I like to call revenge."

Anna's eyebrows rose as she blinked. The moment she'd thought about revenge and destruction that feeling that she'd felt a few times lately, the rush of anticipation that filled her with an inexplicable adrenaline, had caught her by surprise. This time when it hit her she felt a quick twist of her gut accompany it and couldn't help the feelings of déjà vu that seemed to offset her balance. And when she spoke it was almost as though it wasn't her speaking, she felt outside of her own body. "What did you have in mind?"

"I'm just starting to form a plan, but I think Riley could be useful." Jenny spoke her voice low, something strange had come over Anna and the way she was looking at her now was frighteningly similar to the way Blair used to look when she was plotting.

Anna smirked. "Riley could be useful, she's started to care about him. Are you sure you can get him on board?"

Jenny nodded, in awe at the gleam shinning in Anna's eyes, but she pushed through. "I have something on him that he'd hate for people to find out. Not to mention I'm fairly certain I could get him to choose me over her anyway."

"Good." Anna spoke her voice deathly quiet. "Now the question is how to use him. She's become quite attached to the Constance Crown, I feel like taking it back. And I think I know just the way to do it."

Jenny's eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat as Anna continued onward talking about her plan because in that moment she would have sworn she was looking at Blair Waldorf.

As Anna finished talking she tilted her head in confusion. Jenny was looking at her the way people looked at her when she was acting like Blair - that was rare coming from her. On the positive side, she was getting better at dealing with it. "Jen, snap out of it. Now that we have that taken care of we need to go back inside."

"Of course." Jenny spoke shaking off the eerie remnants of their conversation. What was she thinking, this was Anna, not Blair. "Let's go." It was as they were within sight of the others that she reached out and grabbed Anna's hand, pulling her slightly back towards her.

Anna tilted her head confused at Jenny's actions and that look in her eyes right now was almost as though she were afraid. "Everything okay?"

Jenny nodded quickly. If this were about just about anyone else she wouldn't say anything but some part of her felt a loyalty to Chuck, maybe he was more family than she'd thought. "About Chuck...Anna, just talk to him, tell him how you're feeling."

Curious Anna faced Jenny completely. "But earlier, you said he'd wait for me."

Once more Jenny nodded. "He will - as long as he knows what he's waiting for." When Anna smiled and nodded, Jenny exhaled surprised at just how relaxed Anna's reaction made her.

With that both girls took their seats unaware of the conversations that had occurred in their absence. As soon as she sat down Chuck turned towards Anna and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. He smirked as he watched her arch her back recognizing the stance to mean that chills were running up her spine. Leaning his head near her ear he whispered his voice low. "You okay?"

Turning towards Chuck, Anna nodded all too aware of the fact that he had one hand resting on her neck and the other on her thigh. The hardest part was that a much larger part of her would rather he never stop touching her; but for right now it wasn't what she needed. Slowly she placed her hands on his and withdrew them from their position on her body, she saw his face collapse as she did and didn't want to hurt him so she hoped that her next words would offer him some form of solace. "After dinner."

Chuck frowned, knowing that his eyes still showed his confusion but this was her birthday - well not actually but she thought it was - and he wouldn't push her today. He was just glad that the rest of dinner passed quickly and without any more dramatic episodes from the table. Lina had already had to leave, she had a train to catch and Serena and Eric had slipped out not long afterwards. Now it was only five of them left and Chuck had already taken care of the bill against all Anna's attempts to do it herself.

Walking out, Anna was between Chuck and Cassie with Dan and Jenny following close behind and when Chuck reached over and took her hand, for the first time of the evening she didn't withdraw it, she squeezed back. She knew Cassie couldn't see and even if she could she would be finding out eventually - a birthday dinner in front of everyone might not be something Anna was ready for but this was a different story.

Chuck turned his head the moment he felt her hand squeeze his and knew that the smile on his face must have been bigger than any he'd had in a very long time. He was about to say how much he loved her when a voice interrupted their moment.

"You've got to be kidding me."

All five of the members of the party's head snapped forwards at the same time where they saw Michelle standing with a couple friends right inside the doorway of the restaurant.

Taking in their surprised faces Michelle shook her head. "Actually, I shouldn't even be surprised, what girl has ever resisted the charms of Chuck Bass?"

"Michelle." Chuck spoke stepping forwards while still clutching Blair's hand in his.

Michelle shook her head, pulling off her gloves and sliding them into her coat pocket. "Don't bother."

As Chuck moved towards Michelle, Cassie noticed for the first time that Anna and Chuck's hands were clutched, fingers intertwined. Part of her knew she was supposed to be surprised, after all Anna hadn't told her that they were together yet but the other part of her, the part that already knew, actually felt a bit scared by it. Chuck had the power to take her best friend from her - all that she could do was pray that when the time came it would work out. But instead of conveying this fear she simply looked over at Anna and lifted an eyebrow.

Anna smiled back at Cassie rather guiltily, tilting her head and giving the smallest of nods. Cassie would understand that she was promising to explain later.

In turn Cassie exhaled with a look that said, 'you better' and Anna had to hold back a laugh. Directing her attention towards Michelle she stepped up next to Chuck.

"Anna." Michelle said taking a step closer to the brunette who looked so much like the girl that had haunted Chuck for so long. "I expected more from you. When this falls apart, remember that I warned you."

Anna's lips parted ever so slightly unsure of what to say to the girl before her, the words that came were so unbidden that she almost didn't believe they were her own. "I'll keep that in mind."

Michelle's eyes widened as before her Anna went from wide eyed and uncertain to quietly powerful, her eyes glinting with an unvoiced threat. Giving a curt nod she stepped away walking around the group without another word.

Jenny and Dan exchanged a look that spoke volumes between them concerning just how much Anna had just reminded them of Blair. While alternatively Cassie narrowed her eyes in realization and Chuck tried to shake the wonderment he was feeling before she realized just how unlike Anna and how like Blair that smallest of actions had been.

Walking out of the restaurant Jenny and Dan moved to hail a cab; they both had classes in the morning. Jenny gave Anna a quick hug and smiled brightly at her. "Enjoy the rest of your birthday. Relax tonight; we'll worry about the rest tomorrow."

Anna returned her smile before turning to Dan and promptly sticking out her hand. "Phone." She spoke curtly, smiling a tiny smile as he handed her his phone, a vaguely curious look on his face. Anna typed quickly before handing it back to Dan. "Carolina Caruthers. Call her sooner rather than later."

Understanding, Dan smiled before giving Anna a gentle hug and placing a soft kiss on her forehead. A part of him was still attracted to Anna but he knew she didn't feel the same but he could sense the potential for something interesting with Lina and it made him glad to know that he had her approval. "Thank you."

Anna nodded and stood watching with Cassie and Chuck as Dan and Jenny slid into a cab. It was after they were gone that Cassie lightly placed a hand on her wrist. "You ready to head home?"

Anna looked at Anna before glancing back at a very patient and understanding Chuck with a question in her eyes. In response Chuck gave her hand a tight squeeze and tilted his head in a brief nod, knowing she would understand. Looking back at Cassie Anna bit her lip. "Actually...I think Chuck and I are going to stay out for a bit."

Cassie nodded, a pensive look coming over her features. She wasn't surprised, a little jealous maybe, but not surprised. Pulling her best friend towards her she smiled as Anna quickly let go of Chuck's hand and enveloped her in a hug. "You have a lot of explaining to do." She said because she knew that's what she was expected to say.

Anna nodded into her friend's shoulder, still holding on tightly. "I know and I promise that I will."

"Have fun okay but . . . be safe." Cassie spoke, pulling backwards. That was the one thing that she did feel better about with Chuck than Diego. Chuck might be closer to taking her best friend away but he would never let any harm come to her; she knew on some level that Chuck would protect her with his life.

Anna nodded before giving Cassie's hands a light squeeze. "Don't wait up."

Cassie smiled before sliding into the cab that Chuck had hailed while they had been talking. As she did she couldn't help the slight fear that Anna was becoming more like Blair all the time, she'd seen it multiple times tonight. Parts of Anna that she'd only rarely seen before and some parts that she'd never seen and she'd known immediately that those were parts of Blair. While the cab drove away she watched as Chuck enveloped Anna in his arms and had to fight the pangs in her heart that told her that her best friend was slipping away.

When Cassie's cab drove off Anna turned and immediately fell into Chuck's arms, where he tilted her head up and captured her lips with his own. In some ways it surprised her that he was so affectionate after she'd spent most of dinner brushing him off, but either way she couldn't help but melt against his body.

Chuck pulled away after a few moments completely breathless. Smiling down at her, his lips were only inches from her own. "I've been waiting to do that all night." He breathed as a small smile lit his features. This was the first kiss they'd shared since he'd learned the truth and his entire being was pleased that it still felt the same - further confirmation that his heart had known all along.

Annabelle smiled up at him before wrapping him tightly in a hug. "I'm sorry, I know I owe you an explanation for tonight."

"You do." Chuck responded matter-of-factly. "But first, there's somewhere I want to show you."

They were quiet as they rode in the back of the limo, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. They were just enjoying relaxing in one another's arms. It was strange to Anna how comfortable it was already to simply sit against Chuck, cradled underneath his arm, her head leaning against his shoulder; something about them just fit together as though they weren't meant to be apart. Chuck on the other hand was simply relishing the feeling of completeness that he thought he'd lost.

Almost without her noticing, Anna felt herself move closer into Chuck until she was curled against his side, her knees on the seat of the limo as she placed a hand on his chest and looked up.

Chuck looked down at her, down at Anna, down at Blair, and smiled. "What?" He asked, seeing that there was something she wanted to say that couldn't wait.

Anna laughed, he was so good at reading her that it was uncanny. "How do you always do that?" She asked, her prior thoughts slipping from her mind.

Chuck smirked before placing a quick kiss on her lips. "I'm Chuck Bass."

Laughing aloud Anna grasped tightly to his shirt. "Oh my goodness, remember that day at the park when we were feeding the ducks."

Chuck nodded a smile rising to his face as he swung her legs over until she was sitting in his lap. "When we thought we could still be friends."

Anna nodded as well, bringing her smiling face to rest against his neck. "It was the day I finally figured out that part of who you are - part of Chuck Bass - is the fact that how you know everything is supposed to be an enigma."

"Do you still feel that way?" Chuck asked quietly aware that his voice had darkened considerably. "That I'm an enigma?" He missed the way that Blair always could figure him out, sometimes faster than he could figure out what he was thinking himself. While a part of him relished the idea of rebuilding that connection and this time doing it without hurting her the way he'd hurt her as Blair; another part of him feared that that connection wasn't something you could build, that it was inherent, and that if she never remembered who she was, they would never get that back.

Anna bit her lip, looking into Chuck's darkened gaze. She could tell that their conversation had taken a more serious turn and that he almost desperately wanted to know her answer to his question. "Sometimes." She spoke truthfully, before smiling to herself. "But then sometimes it's like I know you, I mean really know you, better than I know myself."

Smiling Chuck leaned his head down and rested his forehead against hers. After a moment of breathing her in he knew they were getting close to their destination and wanted to lighten the mood. "I have a confession to make." He spoke, the smile on his face evident even in his whisper.

Tilting her head up, Anna met Chuck's now lighter gaze, seeing a hint of laughter in his eyes she smiled letting him know he should continued.

Leaning close to her ear Chuck smirked. "I never considered the idea that we could just be friends. This-" He said running his nose from her ear down her jaw until his lips were inches from hers. "Was always my intention."

Anna found a surprised smile flitting across her features as she searched his face for a hint that he was joking. When he continued to smirk at her she laughed. "You're serious." She exclaimed as she reached up wrapping her hands around his neck, her fingers tightening in his hair as she did so. "Oh Bass what am I ever going to do with you." Part of her knew she should be angry at him because he'd practically admitted into manipulating her throughout her relationship with Diego, but she just couldn't be mad that he'd brought them to this point. Tugging his hair down she pressed her lips tightly against his showing just how much the opposite of angry she was.

"We're here." Chuck spoke softly, not really wanting to break away from her embrace but knowing that they had a few important things to discuss inside.

"And just where is here?" Anna asked as she continued to nuzzle the line of his jaw.

Chuck smirked as he placed his hand on the door. "Look and see."

Nodding quickly, Anna slid off Chuck's lap and allowed him to lead her from the car. She looked at him curiously when she realized they were at Victrola and the club was in full swing.

Chuck continued smirking as he lead her forward through the entrance. Yet instead of continuing into the club he turned to the right, walking through a camouflaged doorway and leading her up the stairs.

Anna followed him, curiosity brimming though she stayed quiet choosing instead to trust him. When they reached the rooftop she pulled back in surprise. "Oh Chuck." She spoke her voice breathy as she took in her surroundings.

There were peonies of every color everywhere that she could see and in the middle of everything lay a mound of blankets with a chilled bottle of Dom '95 and a cupcake with a single candle in it.

Leading Anna forward, Chuck pulled a lighter from his pocket and quickly lit the candle before handing her the cupcake. "Happy Birthday Annabelle."

Anna swallowed back the tears that had rushed to her eyes, stinging her throat and interfering with her ability to speak. Blowing out the candle she turned immediately towards Chuck, wrapping him in her arms. "This has been the best birthday ever."

"I'm glad." Chuck spoke, his voice holding back all the emotions he was feeling at having her slim form wrapped in his arms. Setting down the cupcake he popped the champagne and poured them each a glass before pulling her back against him. "I like having you near me." He said by way of explanation.

"And I like being near you." Anna responded allowing him to enfold her in his arms. "Which is why I should explain my actions earlier tonight." She spoke, knowing it was time to get this talk out of the way.

Chuck chuckled as he placed his chin on her shoulder. "I was wondering…"

"I know." Anna spoke quickly before exhaling. "I've never been single, not that I can remember anyway." She spoke leaning her head backwards onto his shoulder.

Chuck had to resist the urge to laugh because she didn't realize just how true that was. As Blair she'd dated Nate for most of her life and then she'd moved straight to him then Marcus then back to him and sure their senior year they'd been on again off again, but never during that time had she ever actually been single.

Sighing Anna took a sip of champagne. "I was dating Jackson within two weeks of starting school in Texas, I cheated on Jackson with Diego then I cheated on Diego with you. And sometimes I worry that I don't know who I am without a guy by my side."

Nodding into her shoulder Chuck knew there was nothing he could say, at least not until she finished explaining. He knew this was something she'd struggled with before. She'd always been so dependent on that plan of hers that when Nate was out of her life she hadn't known how to deal.

"Tonight I freaked a bit when I realized that I was already in another relationship, a relationship that I had yet to tell my friends about." Swallowing Anna pushed onwards knowing that all she could do was be honest. "So I froze you out at dinner to avoid that confrontation in the midst of all the others."

In that moment Chuck had to bite his tongue because he knew that in the grand scheme of things to Anna's friends, particularly Cassie, their relationship was the smallest of complications. "I get it." He spoke because when he looked at things from her point of view, he really did. "This between us is so new and whether I like it or not you have some uncertainties about it." Chuck spoke his voice low. When she remained quiet he knew he'd read her correctly.

After a few moments Anna finally spoke. "I'm not sure that I'm ready to dive into another relationship. I don't know that that is what's right for me."

"You're asking me to wait." Chuck spoke softly, bracing himself for the pain of her words.

Anna pressed her lips together her head still resting on his shoulder. She could feel her heart constricting as she spoke. "I'm asking you to wait."

Chuck was surprised that even though what she was asking made him tense it didn't seem to wreck him; probably because he knew that for him it didn't change anything. "I don't want to not be with you but if you want to wait, I'll wait. For as long as it takes."

"Thank you." She spoke with the slightest of smiles. As she did her heart soared. Jenny had been right about everything. She'd been honest with Chuck and he had in turn promised to wait for her.

Exhaling Chuck set down his champagne glass and loosened his hold around her waist. "You ready to go home?" He asked turning his head to observe her.

Smiling brightly, Anna moved quickly, knowing that she would be catching him completely off guard. "Do you know how much I love you?" She asked her voice bright as she turned her body to face him, flipping over until her knees rested on either side of his legs and her hands rested on his shoulders.

Chuck looked at her curiously, completely taken aback by her behavior but he couldn't help the hint of a smile that played on his lips at her expression.

When Chuck just looked at her in what she could only construe as confused amazement she continued speaking, giving his shoulders the lightest of shakes as she did. "So much that it terrifies me." She completed, her smile so wide it hurt. "I've never felt this way about anyone and the rapidity at which I fell for you is completely inexplicable."

"I love you too, Annabelle." Chuck spoke his voice filled with surprised awe. "You know that." He added quietly.

Anna smiled, clutching tightly to his shoulders. "I do. And the fact that you would be willing to wait for me tells me everything that I need to know."

At her words, the hint of a smile on Chuck's lips grew into a full on grin. "So we're not waiting?" He asked, unable to hide the unfiltered happiness from his voice.

"No, we are most definitely not waiting." Anna spoke, her voice taking on a seductive tone as she leaned her body into his, pushing him back into the pile of blankets and lowering her lips to his.

* * *

**Ladies and Gentlemen, or more aptly Bitches and Players, it is my pleasure to announce that C and A are officially official. Call me sentimental but ever since B left town seemingly for good I've hated seeing our favorite former bachelor alone and brooding. Though I'm sure there are hearts of boys and girls alike breaking all over Manhattan tonight as a result. Yes I believe I can even hear them shattering.**

**xoxo  
Gossip Girl**

As the various Upper East Siders read their phones at the latest Gossip Girl blast they couldn't help but think that Gossip Girl didn't know how right she was. Cassie was filled with worry at what she might lose, Dan still felt a tiny twinge over his crush, Michelle couldn't help but feel nauseous, Nate's heart clenched painfully, but more violently than any of the others Diego's heart shattered into what felt like a million pieces.

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Hope you enjoyed and that it was worth the wait! Hopefully I'll have another update posted soon.

Reviews are always appreciated – xoxo, kate


	30. Revenge 101: Lessons in Scheming

So I'm back Just to let you know, my life is kind of crazy right now: I just moved to NYC and started a new job BUT I'm working to find time to write. Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's part 1 of 2! Also I've uploaded more photos for this fic to my twitter account (I've put the link on my profile).

Just to preface - you'll notice from here on out sometimes I'll refer to her as Anna and others as Blair. Referring to her as Blair occurs when the person is thinking of her as Blair - so you'll see this with Chuck, Serena, Eric, and even Cassie and Diego.

To my wonderful reviewers: **CarolinaGirl21, SouthernBelle88, sallysally, wrighthangal, LitPrincess2787, Kels, chairforever2012, Sw33tHeart21, AquarianAir, GGfanficfan09, H, gatoryn, LovelyLydia, ****ldjsfoisd, LeftWriter224, monique89, Damon-girl96, Guest, and** **Malena2010** (for her motivating pms). I hope that each of you really enjoy this chapter. I think I responded to most of your reviews this time but I'm sorry if I missed you. Also: I'm sorry for always making you guys wait so long in between updates (I would spend all my time writing if I could).

Thanks to my incredible beta **ggff-fan**

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**Chapter 30  
****Revenge 101: Lessons in Scheming**

"So everything's in place for tonight?" Anna asked, a smile on her face as she sat down on the corner of the bed, her robe tied around her waist as she spoke into her cell phone.

Jenny nodded even though Anna couldn't see her and she couldn't help but smile, she'd almost been surprised at how masterful Anna had turned out to be when scheming got underway. In fact there were times in the past few weeks since Anna's birthday that she'd had trouble keeping up. "Yes. I switched the dresses at the atelier after she checked it and it should be arriving late enough that she won't have any time to fix the situation. It's a shame no one will see it, the design of the dress is amazing."

"Of course it is." Anna spoke softly. "And you sure the replacement will embarrass her?"

Jenny laughed to herself thinking back to the Junior League Deb Balls she'd attended over the years. She was supposed to be a mentor this year but had opted out because she had too much on her plate. But if there was one thing she remembered it was that while wearing white was expected in most American Debutante Balls, for the NYC Junior League Ball it was the opposite. Dresses must be exquisite, couture, one-of-a-kind, and above all that it could not be white. "The last time I saw a girl wear white she didn't even make it to the presentation before bursting into tears from the humiliation the other girls were laying on. It will make her look like a clueless Southerner who doesn't know better."

Anna exhaled nodding. She could hardly believe she was doing this, especially to someone she'd once considered her best friend but at the same time she couldn't deny the thrill that ran up her spine at every turn. "And Riley?"

Jenny absentmindedly spoke into the phone as she began to pack up things around the atelier. "I sent him the text and I take it from the 7 times I've called Sam's cell and it's gone to voicemail that you took care of her cell phone battery."

Anna smirked. "It was almost too easy. You know she's still staying on Chuck's floor?" Anna said with an eyeroll hardly believing the gall, it made everything easier. "The maids all know me now and it was oh so easy to tell one of them it was her birthday and I wanted to leave her a present for her to wake up to."

Jenny smiled as Anna kept talking. "You know I was actually surprised that little gadget worked, I almost want to ask Chuck what he was doing with it."

"You got it from Chuck?" Jenny asked in surprise. She knew that Anna was spending a lot of time with Chuck, even that they were officially together but she hadn't realized that Chuck was aware of their plans.

Anna shrugged putting Jenny on speaker as she began to do her own make up. "Not really. I mean he knows that I wanted to screw with Sam and I mentioned making sure she couldn't get any incoming calls or texts. He went to a drawer pulled it out and tossed it to me."

"Hmm." Jenny had responded. She wasn't exactly surprised that Chuck had a devise that allowed him to destroy the battery of a phone, it was Chuck after all. "So what did you do?"

"I just held it up to the battery of the phone and pressed a button." Anna answered as she twisted her hair into an updo. "She'll have to replace the battery but Chuck says it will look like the battery just died, it's undetectable."

Jenny laughed, together Anna and Chuck were a dangerous combination and she was honestly glad that Chuck hadn't been more involved in the planning. "And Sam didn't even stir."

Anna laughed as well. "Heavy sleeper. Perhaps you should call her one more desperate time asking where she is, telling her Riley's there, explaining how angry Eleanor is going to be."

Jenny smirked. "Yes it's too bad she'll miss the show, after all the hard work she put in. I'm honestly surprised I was able to keep her misinformed for so long, the odd hours I've been having her work 'because of school' probably helped."

Thinking for a moment about the complexity of their plan they were lucky that everything so far had fallen into place. Anna had been calculating about everything sure but this was new to her, she had to cover all her bases. Thinking over their plan she had to make sure there were no missing pieces. "I'm going to talk this through one more time." Anna spoke carefully.

"Go for it." Jenny said. This was probably the tenth time Anna had done this in the past few days. She was so meticulous and it couldn't help but make Jenny think of Blair.

"Tonight is Sam's Debutante Ball." At that Anna had to suppress a groan, in Texas Debutante Balls followed your sophomore year of college but Sam had been insistent about partaking with the girls of Constance even though she was a year or so older than them. She wanted to be in the Junior League so they'd devised a plan back in September to help her basically buy her way in.

But that was beside the point now, the important thing was that Sam was debuting tonight and it was incredibly important to her. "Her battery on her cell phone is fried so she won't be receiving any Gossip Girl blasts, phone calls or texts, nor will she be able to call to request help. Her dress has been switched, the one arriving will be vastly inappropriate for a Debutante Ball rather than the one she designed for the occasion. Tonight Eleanor is participating in Fashion Takes The Night as one of several designers holding fashion shows in night clubs across Manhattan but Sam believes that this is tomorrow night. You sent Riley a text asking him to come model as a condolence to the fact that she's had to back out of her Debutante Ball. Sam will be left dateless and inappropriately dressed, Riley will be confused yet perfectly set up for the next phase of the plan, and Eleanor will be furious."

Nodding again Jenny smiled realizing again how much like Blair Anna really was. Anna had done the plotting but over all that she'd somehow managed to have Jenny doing most of the dirty work, not that she actually minded. It just felt like old times. "And you'll be there at the Ball to oversee that everything goes as planned."

"It's funny, Chuck had mentioned the Ball to me not knowing that I was already planning to go for this. But it does give me a good reason for being there." Anna spoke pulling her dress from the closet. "It's a shame you couldn't be there to watch the humiliation."

Jenny laughed. "I think I'll just have to relish in Eleanor's anger. Not to mention I need to be there for the sake of my own job."

Picking up the receiver of the phone Anna set back down on the bed just as the doorway of the suite opened. "I need to finish getting ready, check in throughout the night."

"Aye aye captain." Jenny replied, still giggling, now because she knew that they'd really just hung up because Chuck had entered the room not because Anna needed to finish getting ready. Looking at the clock Jenny realized that this probably meant they were going to have sex. Shaking her head, she turned off the lights in the atelier and smirked at the dresses hanging by Sam's desk, oh yes she was going to be in a lot of trouble.

Chuck smirked when he saw Blair sitting on his bed in a robe and felt an instant tightening in his pants. She probably didn't even realize how alluring she looked she looked lounging there the robe slipping to show most of her leg and just a hint of her La Perla undergarments. "Getting ready in my room I see." Not that he minded of course.

Anna smiled, seemingly pulled from a place of distraction though she'd really just been making herself look distracted, artfully posed to attract his gaze in all the right places. "It was easier to bring my dress and things here since it's just downstairs. I'll take them home on my way back in the morning."

Chuck nodded trying to hold back a frown, he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable here, as far as he was concerned anything of his was already hers. Looking at her bag, the one he knew contained her overnight things, he thought not for the first time about the fact that she never left anything in his apartment. "You know you don't have to." He said as he walked into the closet not really wanting to see her expression because he wasn't sure if she'd pick up on what she was suggesting.

Anna tilted her head confused for a moment at to just what Chuck was inferring. "I don't mind." She said with a slight laugh. "I wouldn't want to clutter up your suite when I have my dorm room."

Pulling his tux shirt he walked back towards the entrance of the closet as he tucked it in his pants. "It wouldn't be clutter. You're more than welcome to leave things here, it would keep you from always making a trip back to your dorm before class. I'll make some space in the closet." Chuck finished matter-of-factly before walking back into the closet.

Anna's eyes widened in surprise. This felt fast, though she supposed that nothing in their relationship moved at a normal speed. Her heart started to beat quickly, were they ready for this, was she? "Chuck...I don't think that's a good idea."

Chuck walked back out of the closet this time tying a bow tie, the final touch of his ensemble. "Why not?" He asked like the obstinate child he often was. "You sleep here most nights."

Exhaling, Anna knew that was true, but if she started keeping things here that would mean they were really serious. That was blurring the lines between his life and hers, not to mention it would mean seeing less of Cassie. Anna looked away. "I'm not ready." She spoke truthfully.

Taking a few steps forward toward the bed, Chuck grazed his fingers along her jaw before turning her head to face him, leaning forward he placed a kiss on her forehead. "Whenever you're ready. Like I said, I'm willing to wait. I simply did not want you to feel like you couldn't."

All the tension left her body as she stared into Chuck's eyes, letting his words reassure her. Nodding slightly she let a seductive smile slip onto her features. "You know, I scheduled us in a bit of alone time this afternoon before the gala, but now you're all dressed."

Chuck stood grinning impishly. "You know I'm supposed to go meet with the Chairwoman of the Junior League and the Master of Ceremonies before the event but they can wait." As he spoke he tossed off his jacket and leaned towards her once more, quickly loosening the tie on her robe before making quick work of his own pants.

Anna's hands were on his shirt, taking button after button before pulling him towards her back onto the bed. As Chucks hands reached up to undo his bow tie she stilled them and spoke between their now feverish kisses. "Leave the bow tie."

Smirking Chuck removed his shirt and brought his lips down to hers. "As you wish."

* * *

Sam smiled as she walked downstairs. Unlike most of the girls, Sam had the added advantage of living at the Palace so she hadn't had to bring anything here to get ready other than her dress which she'd asked a receptionist at Eleanor's to take care of. As she walked into the hair and makeup area with hers already completely finished she couldn't have been more glad. The area was total chaos as girls tried to get ready, each of them realizing they'd forgotten something.

Sam simply smirked as she observed from her assigned station. Her dress was here, her escort should be arriving any time, and she looked perfect. The only negative she could think of was that her cell phone seemed to have shorted because no matter what she did, she couldn't get it to power on.

Relaxing into her chair, Sam couldn't help but be a bit excited that she'd be the first of her friends to debut as the Houston chapter of the Junior League didn't do their ball until the summer following the sophomore year of college. She relished the idea of being first. Of course she'd had to pull a couple strings, mostly purse strings, but money was of no consequence to her and it hadn't even taken that much.

"Hey Sam can you get this pin in my hair? I can't seem to get it right." Quinn Elliot asked moved before a lackadaisical Sam. When Sam didn't answer she waved a hand, gesturing towards her halfway up hairdo. "I mean you seem to be ready so if you wouldn't mind and I obviously value your opinion more than anyone else's."

Sam tilted her head almost in confusion Quinn was one of her girls from the junior class, she should know better than to approach Sam making assumptions but considering the fact that Kate Winters and Elizabeth Connors had been over earlier one asking to use her lip gloss the other for help with her dress perhaps she hadn't been strict enough with her girls.

Deciding she'd had enough of this, Sam smiled. "Sure, turn around."

Looking relieved Quinn did as asked and turned away hardly containing her excitement. "Thanks so much Sam, seriously I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Here's the pin."

Quinn's words stopped short when instead of placing the final pin in her elaborate strawberry blonde updo, Sam took the pins in place out allowing her hair to drop around her shoulders. "There. That's much better than the atrocious hairstyle you were going for."

Eyes wide and quickly flooding with tears, Quinn spun to face her. "Why did you...You've ruined my…Why?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Oh please, stop blubbering and do something more appropriate. You said you valued my opinion the most, you should be thanking me."

"Of course." Quinn replied, lower lip trembling as she turned and walked quickly away.

Sam shook her head, she could hardly believe Quinn, Kate, and Elizabeth had all had the gall to approach her for help. She was their Queen not their friend. It just proved that she was target the right person as her successor in Pierce Hamilton as that girl had at least had the common sense not to come asking her for help. It wasn't her fault they hadn't had the foresight to not wait until the last minute to get ready and Sam was too preoccupied with her thoughts to worry about these girls, who were nothing more than dalliances, things to toy with.

She had better things to think about – namely how perfect her debut was going to be. Her dress was one of a kind as she'd designed it herself but afterwards she was going to give Eleanor the design and as it was the most fabulous thing she'd ever designed she was sure it would be included in the next line. And her date was the most gorgeous senior at St. Jude's bar none. Riley might even be graduated from boytoy to boyfriend if this went well.

* * *

Chuck smiled as he looked over at Blair, she practically glowed; whether it was a post-coital glow or because she was in her natural habitat he wasn't sure. Perhaps it was some of both.

Anna knew Chuck was watching her as they descended the staircase together but rather than looking at him she looked around the floor and couldn't help but feel a sense of familiarity with the scene. It was that same feeling she got every time she schemed which caused her to smirk, after all she was here on business.

Reaching the bottom of the staircase Chuck immediately procured a couple of champagne glasses, handing her one with a smile. He'd been surprised that she'd wanted to go to the debutante ball after her fight with Sam but he couldn't deny that it worked in his favor. He'd been trying to do things to jog her memory as much as possible. Inserting Anna directly into Blair's world might be just enough of a shock to her system to bring her back.

"Where's Jenny?" Chuck asked, knowing they were supposed to be meeting his stepsister here. He knew they'd worked together on their plot against Sam even though Anna thought he only knew Jenny was supposed to meet them. He'd been impressed with her scheming ability clearly some things weren't taken away by the accident in the slightest and he'd stayed out of things only offering his assistance when requested.

Anna gave a half smile. "She can't make it, she's doing something for Eleanor, a fashion show."

Chuck raised his eyebrows. Another piece of their plan it seemed, a plan he was surprised to have been left out of. He was about to say something else when he saw Nate further into the ballroom. Confused he looked to Nate then back to Anna afraid he'd lose sight of his friend, who after a phone call from Fitz, he really needed to talk to. "Will you be alright by yourself for a few minutes? There's someone I really need to talk to."

"Of course." Anna spoke quickly. She'd noted the distracted tone of Chuck's voice, clearly whoever it was he needed to talk to was important and she needed to check up on the plan anyway. "I've got a few people to see myself then I'll come find you."

Chuck smirked knowing this was likely about their plan but he didn't comment he just nodded and turned to track Nate down.

* * *

Cassie messed with the neckline of her dress, trying to straighten what the cab had done to her designer gown. She wasn't sure why she'd worn something quite so fantastical for something as silly as the Junior League Ball but she'd bought the dress under Anna's urging as the girl had claimed that it had been made for her.

Smiling at her reflection in the lobby mirror, Cassie finally nodded that would do. She was late already and the rain had nearly spoiled her entire look. Just as she was turning to head into the ballroom she heard a voice that forced her to turn.

"You look beautiful Ramirez ." Diego spoke almost fondly, he'd begun to think of her as a friend, especially since they'd moved to New York, even if most of their conversations were spent arguing. It was a shame Cassie was in so deep with someone like Alejandro, she deserved better.

Cassie narrowed her gaze as she walked over to where he stood. "What on earth are you doing here?" She hissed, her glare conveying just what she thought of his recent actions.

Diego's brow furrowed in confusion. Cassie had already chewed him out about the incident at the Warehouse after Spanish class the last day that she'd actually gone. "Looking for you actually. You don't go to Spanish anymore and I figured you'd be here."

Cassie pursed her lips, trying to decide whether or not he was telling the truth. "Anna's here and she doesn't want to see you."

Immediately Diego's eyes widened in shock. "I didn't...I wasn't expecting her to be here. I figured...with Sam...she wouldn't come. That's why I came to see you here rather than your dorm."

Cassie nodded realizing that Diego actually was telling the truth. But she still wasn't buying that he didn't at least hope to see Anna. "Her boyfriend owns the hotel, she practically lives here. Honestly you'd be less likely to see her at our dorm room."

"Oh." Diego spoke softly, trying his best to not to convey how upset that made him, how jealous he was; but at least he knew that he she was safe with Chuck - Chuck would never let something happen to her, not like he had. But that didn't change the how much he wanted her back.

Cassie watched as his face darkened, she hadn't been trying to hurt Diego but she was never one to sugar coat things. A part of her wanted to absolutely rail on Diego for keeping the truth of Anna's identity from them but another part of her understood. Diego, like her, just didn't want to lose Anna. "The teacher offered me course credit for the class if I became her TA for the rest of the semester, apparently her original TA dropped out."

Nodding Diego moved to meet Cassie's gaze, he could see that she was trying not to look at him and for just a moment he wondered what was going on in her head. She faced things head on, that was what she did. And right now she looked angry with him but she also looked like she was holding it in. "What's going on Cass? It isn't like you to hold back."

Swallowing tightly Cassie struggled to keep her cool. Diego could be so . . . persuasive. But she wasn't going to let on what she now knew. This was Chuck's situation to handle, something she'd sworn to let him do. "What's going on is that I still think you're here because of Anna."

Practically growling in response Diego stepped forwards, running both his hands through his hair. "I never said I wasn't. I simply didn't know she was here as well. I need your help Cass. I need you to help me win her back."

Cassie pulled back surprised, that hadn't been what she was expecting. Why on earth would Diego think that she'd be interested in helping him? But before she could ask he stepped in, attempting to plead his case.

Pressing his lips together Diego stepped towards her once more. "The only reason I brought Anna to the Warehouse was because she begged me to. She'd just found out about Sam and Jackson and she was in so much pain. I didn't want her to be alone. I left because I had to, it was the only way to keep her safe. She was in the care of my best friend, my most trusted ally; he betrayed me to . . . the leader of the gang." Diego continued, his voice betraying his emotions. He'd almost screwed up, he'd almost admitted who Alex was to Cassie and he knew that would be a mistake. "They played me. They wanted me to lose Anna because they knew it was what was holding me back from being who they want me to be."

He could see her wavering, could see the flash of indecision in her eyes and continued speaking. "Cass, you know how long I waited, you know I've done everything possible to take care of her, you know how much I love her." Diego spoke, the plea clear in his voice.

Cassie shook her head feeling a twinge of what she could only assume was pity. "Sometimes love isn't enough." And with that Cassie turned and walked into the ballroom, though she found it hard to ignore the twisting in her gut that questioned whether or not she was doing the right thing.

* * *

"Sam do you have any spare jewelry, I can't believe I forgot my necklace." Pierce Hamilton asked as she seemed to appear before a lackadaisical Sam. "I know you're staying here so I was wondering…"

Sam tilted her head in confused disappointment. Pierce was the one she'd expected more of. She'd brought an extra downstairs herself but it would be showing clear favoritism, not to mention she didn't feel like it. Choosing not to dignify her request with a response Sam simple stared at her. When the other girl didn't move away Sam tisked. "You're dismissed, Pierce."

Pierce had to hold back an eyeroll. She'd been playing nice all semester, she was the first to defect to Sam's side, power recognized power. Usually she preferred to keep to the sidelines and influence the leader, she'd been insistent to Jenny last spring that she didn't want to be Queen, forcing her to choose Cadence instead. But she'd done it because she could control Cadence, Sam was more difficult but they'd struck a rather uneasy friendship. Beside Sam she could see a small makeup bag and had noticed when she first posed her question that the other girl had cut her eyes towards it ever so briefly. Smirking she reached around the other girl and took hold of the bag, opening and withdrawing the necklace she suspected was there. "That will work perfectly, thanks Sam."

Sam's eyebrows rose as her eyes widened then narrowed. She thought about ripping the necklace from the other girl's hands just to make a point but honestly she didn't really care enough to do it. Shaking her head she shot Pierce a warning look. "A certain amount of impertinence will be tolerated, even celebrated in some cases, but tread lightly Hamilton."

With a curt nod at the older girl, Pierce looked her up and down. "You should finish getting ready, it's only twenty minutes before we line up."

This time Sam did roll her eyes, noting as she did that other girls' dates were starting to arrive. Standing, she wished Pierce hadn't been right about it getting close to time because Sam never liked to do what she was told but it was time. Paying no heed to the fact that most of the dates were backstage she slid off her robe leaving her in her lingerie. She smirked when she heard the gasps around the room, she could feel the lustful gazes from the boys around the room and the envious ones of their dates.

Walking to where her dress was hanging in its bag she narrowed her eyes for a moment, speaking of date's where was Riley? If he was late she'd kill him. She was about to turn and call Pierce back over to use her cell but as her hand slid down the bag's zipper she froze, eyes widening in horror. She would not freak out, she would not freak out. Her mind flew through the possibilities of what had gone wrong. Either the receptionist at Eleanor's had sent the wrong dress or someone here had switched it. This was her bag and she'd checked it before leaving but she also hadn't let it out of her sight since she'd arrived.

Looking quickly around the room she spotted Pierce close by and spoke her voice a low warning. "Pierce."

The other girl recognized that this was a command, not a request and immediately walked over. "What's up?"

"Is this your way of challenging me for the crown?" Sam asked, her voice deadly. Pierce was the only one who'd dare except maybe Cadence but Sam knew Cadence, she wasn't smart enough or cruel enough to be so cunning. If anyone was it was Pierce.

This time Pierce didn't hold back, she did roll her eyes. "Chill the fuck out, it's just a necklace."

When Sam's eyes cut towards her this time there was nothing short of fury in them. "I'm not talking about the stupid necklace." She said her voice filled with venom as her hand pulled the garment bag to the side so that Pierce could see what it held.

"Oh my God." Pierce said when she saw the white monstrosity. "Please tell me this isn't your dress."

Swallowing tightly Sam observed the girl, either she was a fantastic actress or she really had nothing to do with it. "No. This disgustingly traditional debutante gown is not mine. Mine is gone. Which means someone switched it."

Exhaling in understanding Pierce looked towards the older girl. "And you thought I did it."

"Who else?" Sam spoke seriously.

Pursing her lips Pierce looked around the room and knew that Sam was right: Cadence had the motive but not the brains, the other girls didn't really have anything to gain by it, and of course she was the only one who'd even think to do something like this. "You're right. If this were happening to me my only guess would be you or Jenny Humphrey. Don't worry, I mean that as a compliment." She spoke her voice controlled.

Sam felt it the moment her brain recognized what was going on but as she did she knew it was already too late. "Damn it." She said, hearing her own voice become emotional. This explained both the dress and the date, it was Jenny, it had to be. Which of course meant that this all went back to Anna.

"What now?" Pierce asked, surprised at her own genuine concern.

Titling her head back to fight the tears that were threating to fall, Sam spoke quietly. "It's Jenny who did this, she's helping a friend of mine to get back at me." Pierce exhaled next to her clearly realizing that Jenny's involvement was bad. "And if I'm right the two of them are responsible for my missing date and somehow my dead phone too."

Swallowing Pierce observed her pseudo-friend carefully deciding whether or not she really wanted to try to help. "Okay you live here so you have to have something you can wear-" She saw Sam about to interject and cut her off. "No, don't even. You have something better than this monstrosity even if it isn't couture. So you go get it and I'll see what I can do about the date issue."

Sam paused for a moment unsure what to do or say. She even considered doing nothing and just pulling out but Pierce just shook her head and grabbed Sam's hand tugging her to a standing position.

"You back out, you get humiliated." Pierce could see she was still skeptical so she rolled her eyes. "I chose to back you over Cadence. If you go down, I go down with you, unless I take you down myself. And let's face it, I just like you better than Cadence." She could see the mix of surprise and gratitude on her face. "You can thank me later." She finished before turning and walking away.

* * *

Anna had watched Chuck walk until he left her line of sight and she his before slipping backstage. She'd been careful avoiding being seen as she listened to a conversation happen between Sam and a girl she was fairly certain she called Pierce.

She smirked as she realized that so far the plan had gone off perfectly. Sam might be able to find a dress upstairs but it would be almost as bad as wearing white. Anna knew her closet, it was beyond scandalous. And if Pierce could somehow scrounge up a date, there wasn't one as good as Riley and all the other good enough boys would have been taken.

She was glad she'd overheard that conversation, though the presence of an ally was a bit disconcerting as the plan was crafted around the idea that Sam had isolated herself. Nevertheless it would still work. To be sure she'd heard the conversation correctly, she waited until both Sam and Pierce had left the dressing room before stepping into the room. However as soon as she did three girls immediately flocked to her side.

"She fell for all of it." Elizabeth said excitedly, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Quinn nodded her strawberry blonde locks still bouncing. "Even though she totally wrecked my hair. It worked."

Kate smiled and nodded her agreement. "She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't even notice that every time she began to stand or reach for her bag one of us interrupted."

"Good." Anna spoke with a small smirk. Truthfully she hadn't wanted to involve the Constance girls at all. She wasn't a big fan of involving herself in their business but it had been Jenny's idea; she had been certain that they would be helpful. It looked as though she may have been right as timing was everything to the plan. Sam couldn't have been left with enough time to find a workable solution, something Anna believed they had pulled off. "Turn around." She said to Quinn quickly.

The other girl did as told and Anna reached to the side table and artfully began pinning up the other girl's hair as she continued talking. "And the other girls?"

Elizabeth was the first to answer. "Only the Constance girls are important, but neither Parker nor Catalina have noticed anything amiss, they are busy being coddled by their mother's."

Nodding, Kate shot a quick glance over at Cadence who was standing close enough that she could probably hear them. "It was smart to avoid Pierce with the planning, I don't think she would have gone along with it. Cadence on the other hand . . .seems to know what's going on and appears . . .interested."

Finishing up Quinn's hair, Anna immediately motioned Cadence over and while she didn't rush up like the first three she didn't lag behind either. "Lurking is beneath you, what do you want?"

"I could ask you the same question." She snapped in return before looking at the other girls in disgust. "Go. I want to talk to Anna alone."

The other girls scampered but Kate held firm. "I don't have to listen to you anymore."

Rolling her eyes Cadence fixed the shorter girl with a glare. "Clearly you don't have loyalty to Sam either, besides what do you think is going to happen if Sam's humiliated? I'll just be Queen again."

Interrupting the very reason she didn't want high school girls involved Anna coughed. "Both of you stop." Looking at Cadence she spoke quickly and quietly. "Why I am doing this is none of your concern, you should be thankful I'm shaking things up. The other girls agreed that Sam didn't deserve to be Queen so they agreed to assist." Looking towards Kate she continued. "I don't care about your social hierarchy, who listens to who is up to you. I have what I need, you can go." Kate walked off as Anna once more looked at Cadence. "Now is there something else or are you done?"

Cadence observed the other girl for a moment. She looked so much like Blair that it gave her chills and from the sound of it she was just as cruel. She hadn't forgotten the incident on the steps and Anna's involvement but she couldn't deny that this particular plan served her interest as well. "I'll do what I can to assist."

Anna couldn't deny that a part of her relaxed at Cadence's words, she didn't particularly want the other girl's help but she certainly didn't want her screwing everything up. So taking a step backwards she gestured to where the other girls were standing. "Talk to Kate, she'll tell if they need anything else."

* * *

Spotting Nate once more, Chuck took a few quick steps to catch up. He knew that Nate hated society events, so to find him here of all places was a surprise but it was actually perfect timing. "Nathaniel, what on earth are you doing at this stuffy old thing."

Nate smiled immediately on seeing Chuck, though a part of him knew that his happiness was as much because that meant Anna was here as it was that he was happy to see his friend. "I'm some kind of Grand Marshall Ceremonies Master or something." Nate spoke, his voice showing just how excited he was about this position. But as he spoke he could feel his shoulders tense up; as glad as he was that he might see Anna, she couldn't see him with Chuck.

Chuck couldn't help but laugh. "Your Mom's doing?" It was so like her to rope her son into this type of thing.

"I'm sure." Nate loosened slightly, realizing as he rolled his eyes that if Anna wasn't with Chuck now that was probably his doing. He'd almost forgotten that Chuck still thought he was against being around her. A slight smile of affection tugged at his lips at the knowledge that his best friend was still trying to respect his wishes.

Nodding, Chuck recognized that this was the time to address Nate with the reason he'd run after him before their conversation dissolved into conversations about the women in their life as it usually did. "I'm actually glad you're here. I need to talk to you about something."

The tendons in Nate's shoulders that had loosened, immediately tightened back up. What if Chuck knew about his friendship with Anna? What if he'd figured out that he'd been going behind all of their backs? But no sooner had Nate begun to worry than Chuck spoke absolving his fears.

"It's about the Fellows." Chuck spoke quietly. He watched as Nate relaxed, realizing then that for some reason Nate had been dreading what Chuck might say. "What did you think I was going to ask you about?" Chuck asked skeptically.

Nate forced himself to keep calm and look Chuck in the eyes as he spoke. Thank God he wasn't the clueless teenager he used to be. Losing Blair had forced him to grow up and maybe more importantly it had taught him how to survive on the Upper East Side without her there to clean up his messes; how to scheme, how to manipulate, how to keep up appearances, and the piece that held it all together, how to lie convincingly. "Nothing, I've just been meaning to talk to you about something going on with the Fellows and couldn't think of a way to bring it up.

Chuck nodded distractedly. Of course, Nate would be upset about this. He didn't want Anna around at all because he didn't want people replacing Blair with her which is exactly what Fitz - someone Nate considered a close friend - was doing. "Fitz called me today or I would have said something sooner."

Nate's eyes widened, surprised that Fitz had been the one to initiate the conversation with Chuck. He'd assumed that Chuck had found out from someone else and confronted Fitz. "Fitz called you?" He asked, not trying to hide his surprise.

"About her Initiation Ball," Chuck said with another nod before adding. "I know what he's naming her."

Nate swallowed tightly, his heart clenching in his chest as he looked at Chuck. As much pain as he was in, he knew that had to be resonating with Chuck as well. As much as either of them might be attracted to Anna, she wasn't Blair and what Fitz was doing was only going to hurt everyone involved. "I fought it, I swear I did."

"I believe you. Fitz confessed that you were against it. He told me you walked out of the meeting." Chuck spoke immediately. The last thing he wanted was for Nate to feel like he was accusing him of something, he wasn't, he just needed to know what Fitz's game was. "What he wouldn't tell me was why he's doing this."

Nate exhaled, the words coming as he did. "That's probably my fault. I made him promise not to involve any of Blair's family in this mess and I'm sure he considers you a part of that group."

Chuck looked confused. What could Fitz be doing that had Nate so angry and defensive? Before he could ask, Nate answered.

"Fitz is certain that Anna is Blair." Nate said before looking away, fighting back the painful memories of the last meeting of the seven he'd been to.

Chuck's eyes widened in surprise. This wasn't good. No, this complicated things to a degree Chuck didn't even want to think about. He knew Fitz was up to something, he knew that he was causing trouble, what he didn't realize was that Fitz was smarter than all of them; though as Nate continued speaking that much became clear.

Nate crossed his arms and continued in a low voice. "He's so sure that we're too close to the matter to see the truth. The cocky piece of shit thinks that he's the only one with enough perspective to see things for how they are. It's why he tapped her in the fall, it's why her piece of jewelry was the Heartsong necklace, and it's why he's naming her Cathy Linton."

Chuck grimaced, a facial expression that came naturally at the situation at hand, though it worked as a response to Nate as well. This might get dirty quite quickly. He was going to have to have a conversation with Fitz to get him to back down, he could tell by the look on Nate's face. "So you and Fitz aren't speaking…" Chuck hazarded.

"It's gotten to the point that I'm considering leaving the Fellows." Nate spoke, his tone somber. "If I do, Anna will probably get a spot on the 7, if not she'll have one after Fitz and Braden graduate."

Chuck's eyebrows lifted. "She's done that well?" He couldn't hide the pride in his voice at the thought that she'd aced every test so thoroughly that they were already talking about her being placed onto the 7. All Blair had ever wanted was to be a member of an exclusive secret society, knowing that her dream was coming true made his heart feel full.

Nate noticed the pride shining on Chuck's face and filling his voice and had to fight not to reveal that he was similarly proud of Anna. "She's been absolutely phenomenal." Nate spoke his voice gentler. "Are you sure it was a good idea to bring her here though, this is Blair's world; everyone here knew her?"

Swallowing, Chuck had to do what he thought was right. "She wanted to come, her friend is debuting. I thought about it; but most of these people don't even know that Blair's dead, Eleanor kept things so quiet.

Pursing his lips Nate had to wonder what this was taking out of Chuck to have Anna here where Blair used to be. And it was dangerous all things considered. "So many things could go wrong. Talk about a scene…" He said unable to stop himself from thinking back to their own debutante ball.

"It's my world too." Chuck spoke in explanation, even though a part of him wanted to come clean about the truth of why he'd brought her here.

Nate nodded solemnly, Chuck was right of course, if Anna was going to be his girlfriend they couldn't avoid this forever. "I guess it had to happen eventually."

"I love her." Chuck responded his voice soft, vulnerable.

"I know." Nate replied with a sad smile. "I could see it in your eyes."

Exhaling Chuck brought his eyes up to meet Nate's, afraid of what he might see there. "You aren't mad?" He asked carefully. Nate's opinion still mattered to him, though it wouldn't change the course he'd chosen, especially now that he knew that she was Blair.

Nate shook his head. "No. I'm worried, but I'm not mad." He knew he still had to play the role of concerned friend or else they would realize his connection to Anna which wasn't something he was ready for. He knew that they had something special, he was able to be there for her in a way the others weren't because she didn't even contemplate the possibility that with him she was being compared to someone else.

Chuck nodded, his body calm and relaxed even though the guilt of what he knew was beginning to eat away at him. Of all people who deserved to know, Nate had to be one of them. When Nate found out he would hate them all. A long silence stretched between them before Chuck finally interrupted it. "I'll talk to Fitz."

"You don't have to." Nate replied. He could fight his own battles, he didn't need Chuck stepping in and doing it for him. He thought about mentioning the fact that Fitz was here tonight but decided against it. There were already too many unreliable variables in the situation with Anna interacting in Blair's world, they didn't need to add Fitz in tonight.

Chuck shook his head, knowing that that wasn't true, he did have to talk to Fitz and get this all sorted out, the sooner the better. "Nathaniel, this can't keep going on. If it does someone's going to get hurt."

Nate nodded just as he saw Anna walk back into the ballroom. He knew he had to wrap this up quickly or she'd see him and his cover would be blown. "Chuck…" He started, about to tell him about his study sessions with Anna, but at the last moment with Chuck looking at him expectantly he chickened out. "Thank you." He finished his voice low.

Chuck swallowed, feeling his heart tighten inside his chest as it seemed to fill with guilt. Nate was so messed up over the situation with Fitz, he could see the pain and frustration in his gaze and Chuck knew he could stop his best friend's pain if he simply admitted the truth of who Anna was. "Nate…" He started, thinking for a moment that he might actually do it, before he remembered that it was for Blair's sanity that they were keeping it a secret. "I've missed you."

Nate smiled sadly. "I've missed you too Bass, now get back to that girlfriend of yours." He spoke before walking away, just in time to insure that Anna didn't see him.

* * *

After speaking with the girls, Anna walked back into the ballroom, her eyes searching for Chuck. But every five feet she was being stopped by someone.

"Blair I just love this gown." A blonde said, reaching out and fingering the garment.

"It's Anna actually." She replied with a quick smile as she stepped aside.

With wide eyes the girl reached forwards and touched her arm. "But you look so much like Blair, and you're here with Chuck."

Sighing Anna nodded. "I'm aware, sorry I must be getting back."

As that girl stepped out of her way it wasn't a few more feet before another impeccably dressed lady stepped in her path. "Blair Waldorf, it certainly has been a long time. You must contact me about getting more involved with the Junior League. You're mother still has my number I'm sure."

Anna smiled politely barely stopping this time. "I'm sorry you have me mistaken for someone else." Not waiting to see the woman's reaction, Anna continued on towards Chuck, who'd she'd managed to lose sight of once more, so she was more heading in the direction she thought he might be.

Beginning to get frustrated as the pattern continued Anna knew she was becoming shorter and shorter with the people stopping to speak to her. Her mother had raised her to be polite of course but there was only so much more of this she could take. By the 7th or 8th person she'd stopped correcting them.

"Weren't you going to say hello?" A pretty brunette said touching Anna's arm. When she saw a look of confusion on her face she rolled her eyes. "Blair, it's me Penelope. You're flattering me. The nose and cheek work do make me look like a different person." She said with a laugh.

So tired of correcting everyone she saw Anna changed tactics and placed a smile on her face. "My God Penelope I honestly almost didn't recognize you. You must tell me the name of your plastic surgeon, he's a miracle worker."

She watched as the girl called Penelope's face fell as she registered Anna's insult. Smirking she stepped around her thinking that she hoped that she and Blair weren't close but she couldn't stand the girl's personality which was as fake as the rest of her facial features.

Finding Chuck with her eyes Chuck exhaled and simply smiled and nodded to the rest of those who crossed her path. If they wanted to believe she was Blair, she was done telling them they were wrong, she simply didn't have the energy to attend to everyone in the ballroom.

Reaching Chuck she noticed he was watching the retreating back of another guy but it wasn't anyone she recognized, not that she expected to know anyone here in the first place. Though his back or slicked down hair didn't seem familiar she couldn't help but think that something about his gait, pushing that thought aside she wrapped her arms around Chuck's waist from behind, moving until she was resting against his side. "Who was that?" She asked curiously.

"Just a good friend." Chuck spoke looking down at Anna. It was so strange that she didn't know Nate to him. She was Blair, Nate should be as instinctive to her as he was to him and yet there was so much keeping them from that. Nate didn't want to know Anna, but Chuck knew that wouldn't be the case if Nate knew the truth, but Chuck had been more insistent than anyone that they not tell anyone else.

"Nathaniel?" Anna asked hopefully. She and Chuck had been officially dating for some time yet she still hadn't met his best friend. If he was here perhaps there could finally be introductions.

Nodding Chuck tried to keep his face neutral. "Yeah."

Eyes brightening, Anna looked up at Chuck with an easy smile on her face. "Can I meet him?"

Chuck had known immediately where this conversation was going and he really wished that it hadn't. The whole thing was just so weird, not to mention the fact that he didn't want to hurt Anna by the fact that Nate wanted nothing to do with her. "I'm not sure that's a good idea." Chuck spoke, voice low.

Anna was immediately confused. "Why not? He's your best friend, I want to meet him."

"Anna…" He said while spinning her around to face them. He wasn't entirely sure how to address this with her but knew that whatever he did he had to do it carefully. "Nathaniel and Blair dated for a long time before she and I got together. We're talking years." It was felt so strange to be telling Blair about her own past with Nate, the whole thing made his skin start to crawl.

"Oh." Her eyes that had brightened with hope now widened in surprise. This was the first she was hearing of this and she wasn't entirely sure how it had stayed quiet for this long; but at the same time she wasn't, Chuck never mentioned Blair with her. As the surprise wore off she realized what Chuck was actually saying. "Nathaniel doesn't want to meet me."

Chuck shook his head slowly, hating the fact that this might cause her even a miniscule amount of pain. "I'm sorry. I wish things were different." Though as he spoke he knew his words were false. Until Anna's birthday that would have been true, but now he was glad that Nate had been so insistent about not getting to know Anna otherwise the situation would be even more uncomfortable than it already ways.

Anna shrugged and gave Chuck a small smile. "Don't be, it's not your fault."

They'd moved on to happier topics when Cassie walked up to join them, drawing the attention of the couple immediately. "That's one hell of a dress." Chuck spoke in polite awe.

Cassie shot him a slight smirk, ignoring the light blush that had risen to her cheeks. A compliment from Chuck Bass was high praise and she knew it. "Thanks."

"See I told you." Anna spoke knowingly, her grin playful as she appraised her friend, who did of course look stunning.

Laughing slightly Cassie looked around at the patrons milling about. "Some party." She spoke with a discerning gaze.

Chuck's eyebrows lifted as he looked to see if she were serious. This party was about as dull as it got but he supposed she might have been impressed by the splendor of the affair.

Cassie shot Chuck an amused look. "That was sarcasm, Bass."

Chuck smirked. "Dry wit. I like it."

"Is this bonding I see?" Anna exclaimed, in exaggerated surprise as she placed a hand to her chest. It was about time that two of the most important people in her life started getting along, otherwise it made being around the two of them too difficult.

Cassie just smirked in return, observing the possessive way Chuck's hand was placed on Anna's waist as though someone in the room might try to snatch her away. She knew of course that the reason she and Chuck were getting along was because they'd come to an understanding over the Anna/Blair situation in realizing that they indeed shared some common ground, but that wasn't really something she could bring up so she changed the subject. "What are we doing here anyway?" She asked, her voice hiding her emotions.

This time it was Anna who wore the smirk. She hadn't actually meant for Cassie to come; in fact she wasn't even sure how Cassie would feel once she'd realized Anna's true intentions here. So instead of telling the truth, she spun it. "I'm here because it's in Chuck's hotel and apparently this organization is a very big deal. Though everyone here keeps calling me Blair, which is honestly a bit freaky."

Chuck and Cassie shared a look both of them noting the obvious before Chuck spoke. "This was Blair's world." He knew he was using the same method of explanation with Anna that he used with Nate but that's why he'd worked so hard beforehand to make sure he had his bases covered. "But it's my world too. Considering the fact that you're my girlfriend and the recent company you've been keeping . . . specifically your new friends" He said pointedly referencing the Fellows. "Then it's going to be your world too."

Anna nodded slightly, she knew that she'd made the choice to involve herself with the people she did and that had led her to the upper epsilon level of New York society. If she wanted to continue to exist here in this world she had to get used to the fact that she looked like a girl who'd once been its Queen. What scared her was that she found that she desperately did want to be a part of it.

"And eventually they'll realize you aren't Blair." Cassie didn't know why she spoke, the words just seemed to pull themselves from her.

Chuck's head snapped towards Cassie. He'd been careful to avoid lying to Blair at all cost. Sometimes he even said things he didn't want to say because he didn't want her to be angry when she did remember. In return Cassie just kept smiling reassuringly.

Anna smiled in agreement before excusing herself to go to the restroom. "Now don't kill each other while I'm gone." She said as she walked away, knowing that in reality she was only half joking.

"What the hell was that?" Chuck hissed under his breath as Anna walked away. When Cassie just rolled her eyes Chuck's own narrowed. "You shouldn't say things like that to her, it's just as bad for you as it is for her."

Scoffing Cassie's eyes narrowed in return. "What the hell are you talking about Bass?"

Chuck took a step towards her, careful to keep his voice low. "I'm talking about the fact that you still haven't accepted that she is Blair. Like it or not, that isn't going to change."

Cassie tilted her chin up proudly, she didn't humble herself before anyone and Chuck Bass was no different. But for once she did feel the need to give some form of explanation. "I'm dealing with it in my own way. It's just...taking me longer than the rest of you." Chuck looked at her strangely and Cassie continued. "You all wanted this desperately, it made every dream you've had for the past two years come true. You know I'm scared but I am excited for Anna that she'll finally know who she is. It doesn't change the fact that for me to adjust, it takes time. My whole world is changing, yours is falling back into place."

When Anna had first described Cassie to him, Chuck remembered her saying that when Cassie spoke everyone listened because there was nothing that she didn't say deliberately. Not for the first time, Cassie's words reminded him of this. "Okay." He spoke understandingly before turning to face the ballroom.

Cassie took a moment and let her pulse settle down - it took a lot from her to lay her inner most thoughts so bare - but after a few minutes she realized there was something she needed to tell Chuck before Anna returned. "You should know that Diego is outside in the lobby." Chuck's head immediately snapped towards her, the question obvious in his gaze. She shook her head and continued speaking, voice calm and collected. "He didn't know Anna was going to be here, he was actually here to plead his case with me. But he knows now so I can almost guarantee he's still there."

Chuck's eyes narrowed before he grimaced realizing that this had to happen sooner or later, it might as well be now. "Well it saves me the trouble of having to track him down."

Cassie shook her head. She knew what Chuck was indicating - they'd talked about it the day that she'd promised to let him take the lead on this one. "Be careful. Once he knows you know...I'm not sure what he'll do. None of us really knows what Diego is capable of, except maybe Anna."

Nodding, Chuck chose to place Cassie in the same confidence that she had placed him. "I've thought about that, but I'm willing to bet he won't risk telling her the truth. Anything else I can handle."

"I still don't understand how you're so sure." She spoke with another shake of her head.

Chuck almost smiled. "Diego and I were friends once, I know who he is at his core. Just like I know how he felt about Blair even then. He won't tell her because if - and I do mean if - she doesn't hate him for keeping it from her, he knows when she remembers who she is she won't touch him."

When Cassie tilted her head curiously Chuck continued. "As alike as Blair and Anna are, there are differences; which is of course what worries Dr. Michov. Blair was raised to believe that she was inherently better than other people. It's what she aspired to her entire life." He could see the alarm reading in Cassie features but didn't stop. "Before you start judging, look around the room. Everyone here was raised the same way, some of us - Blair and myself included - more than most. And part of that is an abhorrence for bottom feeders. Diego was raised a bottom feeder and while Blair will associate with that level to get something done, she would never lower herself enough to let it touch her."

Cassie could hardly hear through the roaring in her ears. The things Chuck was saying were so shockingly direct and so astoundingly cruel that she struggled to comprehend them. Anna always had money and she loved being on top but at her core she was kind and compassionate, or at least that's what Cassie had always believed. Pushing those thoughts aside, choosing to cross that bridge when she came to it she asked another question that was plaguing her instead. "But the real question is, does Diego actually think that?"

Chuck almost laughed but held back. He didn't like the judgment in Cassie's gaze right now over something that the children on the Upper East Side had never had any control over. To him, that belief wasn't wrong, it was a way of life. But this conversation wasn't about the kind of person Blair was it was about Diego. "Oh he knows, better than most." Chuck spoke recalling the one time Diego had tried to come on to Blair as though he were there because of her disgusted disbelieving tirade afterwards.

_Blair looked around Chuck's apartment. Bart was out of town and so Chuck was throwing down in a major way. The Bass apartment was completely decked out with every form of liquor and drug imaginable, not to mention hired dancers of both the male and female variety. Blair simply shook her head. This wasn't normally her scene but Serena had ditched her for Georgie, Nate was sailing with the Captain and Chuck had practically begged her to come. She blamed her presence here on her boredom. _

_"Waldorf." Chuck spoke snarkily as he slung an arm around her petite shoulders. Damn she looked hot, he thought as he gazed appreciatively at her little black dress. "You're looking particularly ravishing tonight."_

_Blair rolled her eyes and half-heartedly shrugged as though trying to free herself from his arm. "Like I'd give you the chance to do that." She snapped even though she was secretly pleased, compliments from Chuck Bass were high praise. _

_Chuck just smirked, he knew she didn't mind in the slightest, in fact he was fairly certain that the leers he gave her simply gave her more confidence than she already had. "You know Waldorf, if you ever got bored with dearest Nathaniel I'd be more than happy to do just that." _

_This time Blair outwardly scoffed though she couldn't hold her disgust long before laughing, sometimes Chuck was just too much._

_Chuck laughed with her before turning her to face him and slinging his other arm over her other shoulder. "Seriously though, thanks for coming." _

_Blair looked at him curiously, this level of sincerity was unusual for him. She gave a nod of acknowledgement before continuing. "So why the crazy throw down?" _

_Chuck wasn't surprised that Blair had noticed; this party was wild even for him. "Diego's moving to Texas."  
_

_"Eww why?" She said with complete disgust. She preferred to operate as though nothing existed south of the Mason Dixon line and Texas might be the worst offender of all. _

_Laughing again Chuck resumed their walk around the party, arm now interlocked with hers. "His Dad's leaving the business here to his brother and starting up a new one in Texas. Diego's no happier about it than you are. So this is his last New York party before he's practically exiled." _

_Blair knew who Diego was, but with the party in his honor, she was surprised she hadn't seen him yet. He'd always freaked her out a bit with his intensity but she remembered just how well he schemed and she knew that he and Chuck were close. "So where is the guest of honor?" _

_As Blair spoke Chuck shot her a knowing smirk and she knew what he was going to ask before he did it. "As a matter of fact I was hoping you could entertain him for a bit. He doesn't know many of my friends and he's always liked you." _

_Blair rolled her eyes but understood that Chuck would know she wasn't saying no. Besides she'd had a couple drinks at this point and was feeling sociable. Not two seconds later they were standing directly behind Diego and Chuck was walking away. "So I hear you're skipping town." _

_Diego turned and smiled as soon as he saw who was in front of him. He'd been hoping since it was Chuck throwing the party that Blair might be there but he'd hardly dared to let himself think it might happen. "Completely involuntarily I assure you." _

_Blair smirked and crossed her arms. "So one last hurrah?" _

_"Something like that." He spoke before taking a step closer, unable to even look away from the sparkle in her eyes. Just when he thought she would step back he said. "How about another drink?" _

_Blair nodded and followed him, quickly attaining a couple of drinks before walking out onto the balcony. "Bass has a nice view." Diego spoke looking first out over Manhattan then back at her, hoping she didn't see that he was nervous around her._

_Smirking Blair looked out over midtown. "His view is the best of all of us. The Upper East Side is rather monotonous unless you simply enjoy looking at Central Park. Chuck's view actually looks like New York." _

_Diego was mesmerized, he couldn't even begin to look away. There was always something about Blair that just drew him in. He wanted to touch her but at the same time he was afraid that if he did he'd turn to ash. "I'll miss this place." _

_"So why are you moving anyway?" Blair asked, not necessarily believing the story she got from Chuck. People didn't move to Texas when they were in the kind of business the Basses were and she knew Diego and Bart worked together. _

_Diego grimaced. "Dad's turned over the business in New York to my older brother. We're moving to Texas to help my uncle's family get their own business running." _

_Blair was instantly curious, which showed in the way that she angled her body towards him. There was something weird about all of this. "What kind of business is it exactly that you do?" _

_Diego exhaled. Chuck had told him not to tell Blair; but Blair was Chuck's closest friend, she was trustworthy. Not to mention the fact that he didn't want to lie to her. "They do a lot of different things bodyguards, shipments, investing, but the easiest way to explain it would be to say organized crime." _

_Blair felt herself flinch, that hadn't been exactly what she was expecting but it did make certain things make sense. Immediately she was looking at Diego differently, his posture, his hands, was he packing? For a brief moment she was worried about being alone with him, but then she reminded herself that Chuck would never put her in danger - though he'd put himself in danger by not being upfront with her, something that would earn him a stiff talking to later. "So has the party lived up to your expectations?"_

_"More than you know." Diego replied, surprised that she'd absorbed the news of what his family was involved in so well. It gave him hope that maybe she wouldn't hate him now that she knew. But this was all of course ridiculous, he was nothing more than a blip on her radar. "So where's the boyfriend?" He asked, unwilling to admit he knew his name._

_Blair laughed at the way Diego had said boyfriend. "He's gone for the summer, sailing with his dad." _

_Diego couldn't help but smile, no Nate, that was good. What the hell was he thinking? It didn't matter if her boyfriend was here or not, Blair was out of his league. "Wanna go dance?" _

_"Sure, why not?" Blair said with a shrug. She was really feeling the alcohol and she hadn't seen Chuck since he left her with Diego so she might was well. _

_It was a couple hours, a few dances, and several drinks later when the party was beginning to die down. Blair and Diego were sitting on the couch in Chuck's living room. They were laughing at something, Diego's feet stretched out to the coffee table, while Blair's were curled up on the couch next to her. "Do you need me to get you a cab or something?" Diego asked, hardly believing the night he'd had. _

_Blair lifted one shoulder lightly. "No, my parents think I'm with my friend Serena, I'm spending the night here."_

_Diego could hardly believe it. Blair Waldorf was still sitting here not inches from him and she wasn't planning on leaving. The alcohol had given him courage and he reached back to place his arm on the couch. Either Blair didn't notice or didn't care, so after a few moments, he slipped his arm lower until it was resting on her shoulders. _

_Turning his head to look at her, Diego realized that as the party had quieted down, Blair had fallen asleep. Tugging lightly on her shoulder, Diego smiled as her body fell into his own, leaving her head resting on his chest. He could sit like this forever. With his arm still around her, he reached with his other hand and began to lightly run his fingers through her hair. He couldn't resist allowing them to trace her face. "God you're beautiful." He spoke quietly. _

_When Blair didn't stir, he couldn't help but imagine what it might be like to kiss her just once, just so he'd know what she tasted like. He knew it was ludicrous but he'd never wanted a girl the way he wanted Blair Waldorf. Leaning in he inhaled deeply in her scent before placing his lips lightly on hers. He was so entranced that he didn't notice the change in Blair's form. _

_Blair felt her eyes shoot open the moment someone's lips touched hers. Sobriety seemed to rush through her body as she jerked her head backwards and let her hand fly to his face, slapping him so hard that it resonated throughout the almost empty room. Immediately she stumbled to her feet, eyes blazing as she glared down at Diego. "What the HELL did you were doing?" _

_Diego could barely register the stinging on his cheek as his open gaze searched Blair's. "I didn't mean anything by it…" _

_Her heart was throbbing against her chests as an icy fury filled her veins. "You didn't mean to lay your hands on me? You didn't mean to kiss me while I wasn't even awake to defend myself?"_

_"Blair…" Diego pleaded starting to stand. The words she was saying were coming so quickly he might have missed them if they weren't so deliberate._

_As Diego started to rise she delivered him a swift kick to the shin and a shove against his shoulder to force him back onto the couch. "Don't even think about coming near me. How dare you think that YOU had the right to touch ME. You're lucky my boyfriend isn't here."_

_Taking a breath she considered stopping there but changed her mind when she saw that Diego obviously didn't get it. "Don't you get it? I was only being nice to you because Chuck asked me to keep you entertained. I'm a member of the Upper East Side elite, you are a thug from the lower east side. I would never lower myself to your level. It's pathetic really that you thought for a second that you and I exist inside the same universe."_

_Diego noticed Chuck standing in the doorway to his bedroom looking between the two of them with a curious look on his face - it was almost as though he was deciding whether to be angry or simply entertained. He wanted to say something to defend himself but there was nothing he could say. Standing he held up his hands in surrender. "Don't worry, I'm leaving." _

_With a nod in Chuck's direction, he noted curiously that Blair had immediately gone to his friend's side as though seeking his protection. Swallowing a lump in his throat he nodded towards her as well. "You're right you know. Compared to you, I'm nothing." _

_When Diego had left the room Chuck turned to Blair. He knew she'd be retelling the story, several times if she were angry enough and he might as well get it underway. "So I guess he told you what his dad's business is…" _

_Blair smirked up at Chuck, knowing that he'd see from the look on her face that he was in for it and that was all that needed to be said for the moment. _

"And did she ever let me have it after that." Chuck said laughing slightly. "She was furious with me for bringing something like that into her circle and not warning her." Looking up at Cassie more seriously he shook his head. "So you can see how I'm so sure now can't you."

Cassie nodded, feeling nauseous. The girl that Chuck had just described to her didn't sound like her Anna at all and the anxiety she'd felt earlier was rushing back through her. But she couldn't let herself worry about that now; she had to believe that in the end when Anna remembered being Blair, she'd still be her best friend. Cassie's thoughts took an unexpected turn as she came to quite the realization about why Chuck had brought Anna to this party in the first place. "We're really here because you're trying to help her remember aren't we."

Exhaling Chuck gave Cassie a small smile. "I waited before bringing her into this world; I know it's a risk but Blair lived for this thing. The look in her eyes when we descended those stairs earlier was so reminiscent of before that it nearly made my heart burst from my chest."

Cassie looked around the room taking it all in before nodding. "Tradition. Class. Extravagance. It's not that far from Anna's ideal either. Though she probably finds it a bit stuff, too much propriety."

Chuck laughed because there was a time Blair had lived for propriety but that was mostly her mother's doing. It might be nice not to have to behave himself all the time. "I was going to wait until the Snowflake Ball which is a bit more exciting of an event. But when I found out Eleanor had a show tonight and definitely wouldn't be here, I couldn't miss the opportunity."

Cassie had been zoned out staring across the room when she heard Chuck mention Eleanor. "What did you just say?" She asked, head snapping back towards Chuck.

"Eleanor is doing that pop up fashion show thing tonight down in Meetpacking...at least I think hers is in Meetpacking. Different designers are doing different clubs all over the city." Chuck spoke voice conveying the utmost nonchalance.

For a brief moment Cassie was horrified, one of the few emotions she'd never been great at hiding. "Oh my God."

Chuck looked at her strangely. "What's wrong? I guarantee you there will be 1000 other fashion shows for you to attend. "

"Sam…" She said with an exhale. Oh this was bad, this was really bad.

Chuck laughed a bit as though just realizing why Cassie was upset. "Yes she's deb'ing. Honestly I think that's most of the reason Anna agreed to come tonight. She has some sort of plan in place to get back at her."

Cassie looked at Chuck, with wide eyes. "And you aren't stopping her?"

Chuck scoffed. "Of course not, not after what she did. I'd be helping her if she'd let me."

"Jenny." Cassie responded, inhaling and exhaling trying to keep it together.

"Is at the show I'm sure." Chuck responded, with a furrowed brow.

Cassie shook her head. "No, that's not what I meant. It was Jenny's doing, Anna doesn't do revenge. This must have been what they were talking about at Anna's birthday party."

At that Chuck smirked. "We know two different people because I assure you she does revenge quite well."

"I'm not talking about Blair!" Cassie exclaimed vehemently.

Chuck's smirked widened because this time that defense didn't work. "For once neither am I."

Cassie exhaled in frustration before turning around and walking off. She had to do something about this. She wouldn't let Anna ruin Sam with whatever humiliation she had planned; not only would it wreck their friendship, it would destroy Anna when she realized what she'd done.

Chuck simply continued smirking as he watched Cassie walk away. Now that all the pieces were in place for tonight, he had something he needed to take care of with Diego.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed!

Reviews are always appreciated.

xoxo - kate


	31. Revenge 102: All About the Execution

**Sorry for the delay, my new job is monopolizing my time. I get this Friday off so hopefully I'll have some time to write. Also I have Netflix and seriously it's just bad for me my sister and I have made it through all the How I Met Your Mother seasons and I just watched the show Dance Academy with was incredibly surprisingly good (though it left me crying literally for hours straight at the end of season 2). Anyway done rambling, hope you enjoy**

To my reviewers: **SouthernBelle88, wcb-lover, Tigger23, CarolinaGirl21, Guest(s), A, H, GGfanficfan09, Rf, Stallas, TashaNight, Kels, LitPrincess2787, Immortalrunes, forgotmyname, LovelyLydia, Trosev, and eckmoon. **I really appreciate each of you taking the time to review, you guys don't know how much it means to me seriously! For all my new/guest reviewers happy to have you on board, if you'd like a response to any of those questions you've asked you'll have to sign in Also to the several new story followers, it's always great to know I have new readers, don't be shy, feel free to review and express your opinions (I promise I read and appreciate them all)!

Lastly thanks ever so much to my wonderful beta **ggff-fan**

* * *

**Chapter 31: ****Revenge 102: All About the Execution**

It was as Anna was walking towards the restroom that she spotted a bronzed head that she'd come to know quite well. "Archibald!" She exclaimed, placing a hand on his arm to turn him. "Don't you look dashing in a tux." She spoke appraisingly.

"Annabelle." Nate spoke grinning broadly. "Beautiful as always."

Anna returned his smile, wanting nothing more than to hug him. Something about Nate always made her feel so warm and grounded. "I haven't seen you in so long; I almost forgot how handsome you are."

Nate tried and failed not to flinch at her words. Blair had said such similar words to him once and coming out of Anna's mouth they just sounded so right. Pushing that from his mind, he focused on the reason he hadn't seen her to begin with. "Technically we aren't allowed to speak until the final task has been administered." He said rather sternly before lowering his voice. "I've missed you."

"You too." Anna spoke softly before giving in to her earlier instincts and giving him a quick hug. Pulling away she grinned mischievously. "You couldn't by chance tell me when that will be, could you?"

"Soon..." Nate responded with a smirk. He wasn't breaking that easily; even if she was irresistible when she batted her eyelashes like that.

Anna's eyes lit and she bit her lip hopefully. "Before Thanksgiving?"

Nate sighed but couldn't prevent the smile that formed on his face. "No, but before finals."

Anna lifted her eyebrows, grinning playfully. That was only a few weeks away. "Good, I'm going to need my Econ study partner back."

Nate laughed, wishing he could stand here talking with Anna for forever but he wasn't sure where Chuck was or if he might be watching Anna.

Anna smiled, seeing that Nate was distracted. She leaned forwards and placed a quick kiss on his cheek before pulling away. "Now go, I'm sure the Fellows have spies everywhere."

Nate laughed again, this time, his laughter a little more subdued. He didn't want to think about the Fellows right now. "Fitz is here actually. His little sister is deb'ing."

Anna's brows furrowed, suddenly inexplicably a bit nervous. "Who's his little sister?"

"I'm pretty sure her name is Pierce." Nate replied thoughtfully. "Yeah that's right, Pierce Hamilton."

Anna couldn't help but scoff, it seemed she wasn't having great luck with her plans tonight, nevertheless, it didn't matter, she'd work around it. "Oh that's just fabulous, those two would be siblings. Just how close are they?"

Nate shook his head in wonder, what on earth had Anna gotten herself into now. "She's his little Princess. I'd think twice before messing with her."

Anna's lips pursed before she smirked. "Well it's a little late for that."

"I wouldn't worry, Fitz isn't one to get involved with girl drama." Nate spoke reassuringly.

Anna just shrugged a shoulder. "I never do." With a quick smile in Nate's direction she walked off, towards the bathroom. She wasn't lying, she really wasn't worried. Fitz was practically a grown up, this was high school nonsense, and it wasn't like she'd waged war on Pierce. But if the other girl got in the way, Anna wasn't exactly opposed to making her collateral damage. What she was more concerned about was the potential that the replacement date Pierce had in mind for Sam was her brother, which did not exactly factor into the plan.

* * *

As Chuck sauntered out into the lobby, he was both prepared and expecting to see Diego standing suspiciously against the wall; yet the sight still made him so angry that he could barely control it. The fury raced through his veins so quickly that he almost stopped walking. Pushing through it he continued onwards, keeping his face clear of any evident emotion, especially in the moment that Diego looked up and met his gaze.

Diego swallowed tightly as he glimpsed Chuck walking across the lobby of the Palace. Diego knew a flicker of fear probably showed in his eyes at the thought of what Chuck might do or perhaps have done to him. He recognized the forceful outward calm as a bad sign and dreaded this confrontation. Forcing those fears aside before they could truly make themselves known Diego stood and met his gaze.

Chuck came to a stop three feet away from Diego, thinking the distance might stop him from strangling Anna's ex. A quiet rage growing inside him the longer he looked at the man he'd once considered one of his closest friends. "You son-of-a-bitch." He said voice low although stating it simply, as though it were merely a fact of life.

Diego raised his hands as though in surrender. "Look man, I didn't know she'd be here. I came to see Cassie."

Chuck laughed darkly. "You saw her. And yet you're still here."

Diego looked down aware that color had risen quickly to his cheeks. Chuck was right and he knew there was no defense for it. "I just wanted to see her." Diego spoke softly. "Once I knew she was here, I just wanted to see her."

"So you're not a stalker, just voyeuristic?" Chuck asked sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Either way I don't want you anywhere near my girlfriend."

Shaking his head Diego looked up at Chuck almost pleadingly. "Knowing that I hurt her, that I caused her pain makes me want to die."

The look on Chuck's face clearly stated his response 'then why don't you.'

Drawing from any emotional strength he had left, Diego emptied himself of emotion. "I love her, I miss her, so much that it destroys and consumes me. She was my life…she still is."

"How dare you." Chuck spat darkly, taking the smallest of steps forwards, eyes beginning to blaze. He saw the confusion in Diego's eyes and continued. "How dare _you_ say that about _her_."

Surprised, Diego tilted his head. Indignation was quickly filling his bones; who was Chuck to judge his feelings. "Seriously, she's the only thing in my life that matters. I can't get through one second without thinking about her."

Chuck's lips formed a thin line as he spoke, his voice coated in venom. "Because you love her. Because you miss her. Because she's your life." Shaking his head Chuck refocused his gaze. "You have no idea what you're saying and no right to say it, especially to me."

Shocked beyond belief, this time it was Diego who stepped forwards. "Get over yourself, she's been your girlfriend for two weeks. I've been in love with Anna for two years."

Scoffing, Chuck gave a small nod and grimaced as his anger became too much to hold back, so instead he funneled it into a steady stream of hate filled rage. "I'd say you've been in love with her a lot longer than that, or maybe obsessed is the better word for it." Chuck spoke acidicly. "Seven years wasn't it?" He could see the disbelief present on Diego's face along with the overwhelming surprise but at the same time Chuck knew he hadn't quite put the pieces together.

Cutting to the chase, Chuck stepped forwards, lowering his voice as though to initiate confidence. "I'll let you in on a secret, I've loved her longer. Now the least you can do is quit acting like what you feel compares to what I feel. And fucking use her real name."

Shock caused Diego to go rigid as he sharply drew in a breath. "You know." He spoke, unsure how he found the words. This was his worst nightmare.

Chuck sneered. "Yes, I know." Taking yet another step closer he crossed his arms. "I know that Annabelle is Blair. I know you've been lying to me, and to her." With each sentence his voice became more dangerous. "I know that you've kept me from the one woman that I've ever loved, my fucking soulmate." He knew he was losing his calm demeanor but he didn't care, part of him wanted to destroy Diego for what he'd cost him and Blair. "For how long Diego? Years? How long have you fucking known?"

Diego's heart was pounding in slow even throbs that resounded throughout his whole body, seeming to echo around his shell. He had assumed Chuck would be angry when he found out but this was more than that. He'd known that Chuck loved Blair and he'd thought he'd understood the extent; but now he could see that he hadn't understood anything. But that changed little other than the consequences he was about to face. "A few months, that's it." He spoke his voice finding a strange calmness.

Chuck's nostrils flared but Diego spoke again before he could. "I never thought...back in Texas, I never thought that it was possible. But then we got here and it all just clicked."

"You bastard." Chuck spat unable to withhold it any longer.

Diego shook his head almost desperate to explain why he'd done what he'd done. "I didn't know. I didn't know what she meant to you. Only recently did I have any idea. I only-"

"You only thought of yourself." Chuck snapped, knowing that it was the truth.

Diego could feel himself scrambling but he wasn't sure what else he could do. "That's not true." He defended lamely.

Chuck almost laughed. "Yes it is or you would have told her who she was before this all became the situation it has."

Diego swallowed tightly unsure what more he could say. But he didn't have to just yet because Chuck wasn't through.

"That's the difference between us and the way we feel about Blair," Chuck spoke almost as though he were contemplating his words as he spoke. "I love her while you're simply obsessed with having her." Chuck could see Diego ready to interject but he stopped him.

"No, no, no. Don't even think about correcting me." Chuck said almost lightly. "I would give her anything to make her happy. I love her so much that I would let her go if she were better without me, I would give my own life to save hers, I would never keep something from her simply so that I could keep her longer."

At that Diego shook his head. "Bullshit. That's total bullshit. She was happy with me and you didn't leave us be. You could never believe she was happy without you."

This time it was Chuck who shook his head with a slight laugh. "Oh how little you really know." Smiling ever so slightly Chuck continued. "I know that I could give her up because there was a time that I did. She was with Nate but I was the one she wanted. I told her she didn't mean anything to me when I was so in love with her I couldn't stand it. And I did it because I was so sure that I could never make her happy. Come to find out, I was the only one who could. So don't tell me I couldn't do it."

Once more Diego swallowed, there was so much he still didn't know about Chuck's relationship with Blair and right then he couldn't help but doubt his intentions; couldn't help but think that perhaps Chuck was right.

"So don't tell me you love her like I do." Chuck spoke his voice once more becoming dangerous. "You kept from her the one thing that she wanted more than anything because you knew what would happen once she remembered who she was."

Chuck could see an echo of humiliation in Diego's eyes and smirked. "I'm sure I don't have to remind you how Blair will feel about you when she does remember, how disgusted she'll feel about the way you've touched her body, and how quickly she'll want nothing more to do with you."

Diego froze knowing that Chuck was right. He remembered the night she'd rejected him so clearly, the night she'd told him definitively just how she felt. There was no denying it.

Chuck watched the memory he'd relayed to Cassie earlier flash in Diego's mind and his smirk widened. "Now that we've established that, stay the fuck away from Blair or I swear to God I will end you." As Chuck finished speaking he turned and began to walk away, satisfied by the look of fear and resignation he'd seen in Diego's gaze.

It was as Chuck was walking away that Diego realized what had been nagging at his brain even as Chuck extoled his virtues and he couldn't help but call out. "So why haven't you told her yourself?"

Chuck stopped and turned his head so that he could see Diego in his periphery without turning his body. "Because it's too late. If she finds out before her mind is ready to comprehend it, it could cause a mental break. So in case the thought of her hating you isn't enough to convince you to stay away then prove me wrong and do it because you do love her."

Diego might have said something else rather than simply watching Chuck walk away when he noticed a text on his phone from one of the last people he expected to hear from. Pausing to read it, he thought for a moment about not responding but as he read it again he couldn't help but at least be curious.

**Meet me backstage. ASAP.**

Shrugging Diego decided that he didn't have anything else to lose and started towards the back of the ballroom of the Palace. Sneaking around this place as a kid had taught him the back doors into every room and it was time he started using them.

* * *

Sam stood outside the dressing room, preparing herself to enter. She stole a quick glance in the mirror, the dress was borderline scandalous for such an event but she knew Pierce was right, it was better than the alternative. Forcing her chin high, she readied herself to walk from the hallway into the dressing room when she felt a hand on hers.

"Hold on a second." Cassie spoke quietly, stilling Sam by the doorway.

Sam looked back at Cassie in surprise. This had been the last thing she was expecting. She wasn't sure where Cassie stood in this mess between her and Anna but she was fairly confident she was one of her only remaining friends. Though there was always a chance Anna had enlisted her help. "God you look beautiful. That dress…." Sam spoke awe in her voice.

"Is going to look great on you." Cassie finished with a small smile before turning around. "Unzip me."

Sam's eyes flew open and she put a hand on Cassie's shoulder to turn her back around. "What?"

Cassie smirked. "You heard me, now hurry up. If we're going to fix this we don't have much time."

"Oh my God." Sam spoke excitedly as she immediately followed Cassie's wishes. "I can't believe you're doing this, thank you so much."

Nodding as she felt her dress fall away, Cassie picked up the robe she'd brought with her and pulled it on before turning to face Sam and helping her out of one dress and into the other. "You know that Anna's lashing out right?"

Pressing her lips together and spinning back to face Cassie, she nodded. "That's why panic is the overwhelming emotion rather than anger."

"Well…you look beautiful." Cassie said appraisingly. The blue hues of the dress were a fantastic compliment to Sam's complexion.

Shrugging Sam tried to force a smile. "I still don't have an escort."

Laughing slightly Cassie managed a smile. "About that…" As she spoke, Diego stepped into the antechamber on the side of the dressing room where Cassie handed him the other item she'd acquired, this one off a drunk teenager in the men's bathroom - a tux.

Sam felt herself go dizzy as she looked between Cassie and Diego in complete shock. Diego wouldn't be as perfect of a date as a St. Jude's boy but he did go to Columbia and they could be passed off as old high school friends. This could work. "I...I don't know what to say."

"Samantha Jamison at a loss for words? That's something I've never seen." Diego spoke smoothly.

Shaking her head, Sam met Diego's gaze and said words she didn't particularly want to say. "Are you sure you want to do this? This isn't going to win you any points with Annabelle."

Diego nodded. "I know, but this situation you're in is at least partially my doing."

In that moment, Sam actually smiled feeling her cheeks warm ever so slightly. Diego was doing this even though he knew that it would make Anna angry and that meant more to her than she could say. "Thank you and for that reason, I don't think I can let you do this."

The shock that was evident on everyone's faces that Sam had turned down probably the only chance she had at saving face was turned into surprise when Pierce stepped out of the dressing room area and into the antechamber. "And you won't have to." She said with a smile as behind her followed one of the most gorgeous men Sam had ever seen. "Samantha Jamison meet my brother Fitzpatrick Hamilton."

Cassie and Diego both swallowed uncomfortably. Neither of them had met Fitz but they knew who he was instantly and realized quite quickly that should Fitz choose to, this could be bad for Anna - after all he was the head of the Fellows.

Sam fought through her surprise and turned on the charm, giving Fitzpatrick one of her most seductive smiles. "Thank you for doing this, I truly appreciate it. And you can call me Sam."

"My friends call me Fitz." He said, taking Sam's hand and placing a lingering kiss there. He'd never much cared for Debutante Balls but he'd do anything for his sister so he'd agreed even though he'd thought at the time that the girl he'd be escorting would be quite unfortunate. He'd been surprised to find before him one of the hottest girls he'd ever laid eyes on. "And it's a pleasure."

Pierce had to withhold an eyeroll. Of course she'd seen this coming, Sam was 100% Fitz's type and Fitz was, well Fitz was everyone's type. "Hate to break up the introductions but we've got to go, it's time to line up."

Nodding Sam waved a quick goodbye to Cassie and Diego before accepting the arm Fitz offered and walking into the dressing room where the girls were lined up waiting for them. An attendant quickly came over to escort Fitz to where the gentlemen were waiting but his appearance had already done its job as all the other girls were swooning.

When the attendant walked off to tell the Chairwoman they were ready, Pierce took Sam's arm and led her to where the Constance girls were standing together, glaring at her. Turning to address the group, Pierce gave Sam's elbow a quick squeeze before speaking. "We know of your involvement and as you can see, the situation has been handled. Do nothing else and both Sam and I will forget about it. Continue down this path and between the two of us we will destroy every last one of you."

Sam had been shocked by Pierce's words but looking at the group she could see the guilt and in order for them to take the threat seriously, she knew she needed to say something. "Are we clear?"

As each of the girls made sounds of guilty acceptance Sam turned with Pierce and walked away. As she did she leaned over and whispered. "I'm not sure how you knew that but thanks."

Pierce smirked. "You're welcome." And she was surprised that she actually meant it.

* * *

Anna smiled as she walked back towards Chuck, finishing working the room. This was so much easier than she'd ever imagined. Who cared if people thought she was Blair when they first met her, it didn't stop her from being her usually charming self. She leaned back against Chuck as they began to announce the debutantes.

_"Elizabeth Cassia Connors escorted by Michael North."_

Anna turned her head a bit and smiled teasingly at Chuck. "So who's been keeping you occupied tonight? Better not have been another girl."

Chuck pressed his lips into a thin line, hesitating for just a moment before choosing to be honest. "I was actually talking to Diego. He was outside." Chuck saw the instant alarm in Anna's eyes and moved quickly to amend his statement. "I've taken care of it, he won't be around anymore."

_"Quinn Araby Elliot escorted by Paul Cassidy."_

Anna looked at Chuck closely before speaking her voice quiet. "I can handle Diego when it comes to that."

"It won't." Chuck responded sure of himself, he was fairly certain that Diego would stay out of this for the foreseeable future. If Diego cared about Anna at all Chuck knew he'd stay away, or else he'd deal with some very unhappy consequences.

But Anna shook her head. As sure as Chuck seemed to be in his persuasion abilities she was more certain in how well she knew Diego. He hadn't given up throughout the mess with Jackson, he wouldn't be backing down now. "It will, I assure you."

_"Pierce Grace Hamilton escorted by Alston Whitney"_

Anna paused, facing forwards when she heard Pierce's name. Appraising the girl before her she could immediately see the resemblance to Fitz; same dark hair and piercing blue eyes. She wasn't the most beautiful girl Anna had ever seen but her presence commanded attention. "That's Fitz's little sister."

"Wow she's grown up in the past couple years." He said remembering her as a kid of about 12. He tried not to be nervous now, he knew Sam's name was coming up. He'd laid all the groundwork now he just had to see what would transpire.

"It's Sam's turn." Anna said with a smirk, watching and listening attentively, phone at the ready to update Jenny on Part I and II of the plan. "_Samantha Emerson Jamison escorted by_" And at that the Chairwoman paused and Anna's smirk grew. She frowned as someone stepped out and handed the Chairwoman a card.

_"Excuse me, Samantha Emerson Jamison escorted by Fitzpatrick Hamilton." _

Anna felt her entire body tighten as her heart dropped into her stomach. What. The. Fuck. Fitz was escorting Sam; that was a huge coup rather than a huge embarrassment. They looked amazing together. Her anger doubled when Sam stepped out in a fabulous dress, quadrupled when Anna recognized the dress as the one she'd purchased with Cassie only a few days ago, one that Cassie had been wearing moments earlier.

Chuck looked at Blair gaging her reaction to what she saw before her. He watched as she clenched her fists and locked her jaw. It was of course the reaction that he was expecting but it still caused him to still.

Her heart was pounding loudly in her skull and she could feel her fingernails digging into her palms. There was no way that this was happening. Cassie had had no idea what was going on and seriously Fitz, SERIOUSLY.

_"Parker Ellis Kennedy escorted by Tyler Vanderbilt"_

"That's Nate's cousin." Chuck spoke quietly indicating Parker's date as he did his best to remain focused on task. "He's his cousin Trip's little brother."

If Anna had been listening she would have noticed that Chuck had said Nate and might have connected the dots since she herself knew that Nate was a Vanderbilt but her mind was racing a million miles a minute in a different direction as she tried to figure out what had gone wrong.

_Catalina Juliet Oliviera escorted by Patrick St. John_

Almost absentmindedly as Chuck registered that Anna was no longer listening, he continued. "I was in school with St. John's older brother Andy, that kid was always jacking my weed."

Anna knew Chuck was talking but she didn't hear a word that he was saying. This was a disaster; she could only hope that things had gone better from Jenny's side.

**Things did not go well here, tell me Eleanor is livid.**

_Cadence Jade Schuler escorted by Delany Astor_

Chuck placed a hand carefully on Anna's shoulder. "I'm guessing your plan for Sam for tonight didn't work out as you expected."

This time Anna heard him and turned her head to appraise him in surprise. Clearly he'd known more about what she was doing than she'd assumed. "I didn't realize you were aware."

Chucks smirked slightly. "Of course I was I'm Chuck Bass. And I would have helped you know." He said infusing just the right amount of teasing in his voice to appropriately draw her attention.

_Katherine Emily Winters escorted by Anthony Alexander_

Anna would have said something else when she heard her phone and looked down to read Jenny's text.

**No worries, she's beyond furious.**

Smiling to herself Anna looked up at Chuck. "I've got things under control. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a humiliation to complete. Anna spoke before turning and walking closer to the dance floor where the ladies were being pranced around by their escorts. She stood glowering at Sam for the duration of the dance, knowing that it would only be a few moments before Sam confronted her.

As the first dance came to a close Sam thanked Fitz graciously before letting him know there was something she needed to take care of. She'd been surprised by his response that he hoped to see her later but as good as that made her feel it wasn't her priority at the moment. Right now she needed to man up and address Anna.

Walking over towards where she stood near the edge of the dance floor Sam crossed her arms. "This was you're doing?"

Anna shrugged almost nonchalantly. "You deserve worse."

Sam had to resist an eyeroll. She hated this so much that it hurt. She didn't want to fight with Anna, she missed her friend. "So what did you do - dress, date, phone? Is that it? Are we even now?"

Anna simply crossed her arms and stared. How could Sam possibly think that ruining her Cotillion would be enough to settle what had happened between them? "Nowhere near it."

"Good to know, there will be future attacks." Sam responded with a sigh. "I am sorry Annie. Really sorry for everything."

Anna kept herself calm, kept the anger she still felt towards Sam at bay as she spoke, voice tight. "I'm not ready to forgive you yet."

Sam nodded before speaking in a sad voice. "I know."

Anna was contemplating filling her in on the rest of what the evening had in store when she heard the beeping around the room and smirked. It appeared that as per usual Gossip Girl had scooped her.

Sam looked round confused until she recognized that everyone was reading a Gossip Girl blast. What was a bit more worrisome was the fact that the eyes of everyone in the room were now trained on the two of them as they stood there quietly staring one another down. "What the hell?" Sam asked through gritted teeth.

Anna took a quick look at her phone and smirked before turning her phone to face Sam. "I told you I wasn't done yet."

**Gossip Girl here, A made quite the splash at this year's Junior League Debutante Ball charming her way into the hearts of everyone she spoke to. It was a performance worthy of her looks, B would be proud. We hear she wasn't just there to socialize and look pretty as she seemed poised to destroy former ally SJ. Constance's new Queen barely managed to avoid social destruction though the same might not be said for her job at Waldorf Designs. Take it from Little J, Eleanor does not forgive easily. Round one of this matchup clearly goes to Team A but would we have expected anything different?**

"You bitch!" Sam seethed through her teeth. "You know that internship means more to me than anything. What the hell did you do?"

At that Anna actually did roll her eyes. "If you remember I got that internship for you as your friend, it's only fair that I can take it away when that friendship ends. That fashion show that was on your calendar for tomorrow night was actually tonight. Eleanor is furious."

Sam's eyes widened with complete panic, this wasn't something she could just fix. "Shit I have to go." She spoke beginning to lift the edge of her dress in preparation to run out of there.

"I wouldn't bother," Anna said mockingly. "It's been over for over an hour."

Sam dropped her skirts in defeat as she looked up at Anna, the pain and disappointment obvious in her eyes. "This isn't like you." She spoke softly. "You were never cruel."

Lifting a shoulder Anna couldn't help but smirk. "I'm not so sure you're right about that Sam because it feels so damn good." Turning away, Anna began to walk from her spot on the floor aware that eyes were still focused on her. As she did, she spotted Cassie standing in a robe as the door to the back where the dressing rooms were opened and someone walked out. Immediately her eyes lit with what she knew was a scalding fire for her other friend.

Cassie's eyes locked with Anna's immediately and she had to shiver. She wasn't sure what scared her more, the fact that Anna had just been so calculating and cruel or the fact that at that moment she didn't look like Anna at all.

As the door swung shut, Cassie turned and walked back towards where Diego was still standing waiting a bit until the chaos died down so that he could slip out. "Thanks for your help tonight." She spoke, meeting his gaze uncertainly.

Diego gave a curt nod in her direction as he relaxed against the wall, arms crossed. He saw something in Cassie's eyes now that he hadn't seen before and somehow he was sure that she didn't hate him quite as much as she always had. He wasn't certain what had changed but he was sure as hell going to use it to his advantage, especially now that Chuck knew the truth. "You know you owe me now?"

Cassie nodded slowly. She'd called in a major favor with Diego tonight and even though he hadn't been the one to escort Sam, he'd still risked life and limb to do so. What alarmed her more was the fact that she wasn't sure on whether or not she minded being in his debt. For the first time she was starting to think that Chuck was not a good influence on Anna at all.

* * *

Sam placed her hand against one of the large pillars in the ballroom, supporting herself as she gazed about the room. She'd been with Fitz for a while but then the night started to blur together a bit; most likely a result of the amount of alcohol she'd consumed.

As soon as she'd realized that she'd completely missed the fashion show she couldn't drink the champagne fast enough and when Fitz had offered her something stronger, she'd immediately accepted. Now she was borderline drunk but she didn't really care.

Surprisingly, she spotted someone she thought she recognized. Really she only knew the people from Constance and St. Jude's and it had been a while since she'd actually run into any of those, so spotting someone familiar was nice. He was standing against the wall, looking as though he thought he might be leaving when she walked over.

"I know you from somewhere…" She spoke, walking close enough that he knew she was talking to him but not so close as to be forceful.

Nate looked up and met the gaze of the girl before him; she had a reckless beauty, the kind that reminded him of the way Serena had looked in High School. Recognition flickered in his eyes and he nodded. "You're one of Anna's friend's from Texas right? I know Anna from class at Columbia."

Sam laughed almost uncomfortably. "I don't know that I would use the word friend but yes I know Anna."

Nate nodded, though he didn't really understand. He'd seen the girl with Anna before, he knew that he had; there must have been something he missed. "No I remember you now, you're Sam. I know I've heard her call you her friend before, what happened to change that?"

Sam exhaled, if he were friends with Anna he'd hear it sooner or later, it probably sounded better coming from her. "I slept with her boyfriend while we were in high school and she only recently found out. After she did, I kind of slept with her new boyfriend."

Nate laughed loudly, surprisingly taken with her candidness though he immediately once more drew the parallels to Serena. It was thinking about the similarities that he registered her last statement and his mind prompted a response. "Wait a second, you slept with Chuck?"

"God no, I slept with Diego." Sam answered immediately. But the mention of Chuck's name was enough to trigger just what was off about Nate and just like that she knew where she knew him from. "Wait a second, I know where I've seen you before. You're Nate Archibald, I've seen you at Eleanor's atelier. I'm interning there with Jenny."

Nate's eyes widened in surprise; that was not what he had been expecting. Part of him knew that if he was going to go back into the thick of drama in this world once more he was going to have to resume the tired ritual of reading Gossip Girl posts; with things like this she was very useful. Before he could say more the girl was talking again.

"But you said you knew Anna from Columbia, you didn't mention the fact that you were friends with Chuck and Jenny and well, Blair. I mean Eleanor looks at you like you're her son or something." Sam noted confused, realizing that Nate was acting a bit shady. "Clearly I'm missing something."

Nate grinned, a slight blush rising to his cheeks guiltily. "I have a bit of a secret."

Sam lifted her eyebrows and smirked, she could tell that whatever it was, Nate was going to tell her, so she waited.

Nate shook his head slightly. "You know, I don't even know why I'm telling you this, but Blair Waldorf was my girlfriend for somewhere around ten years, everyone thought we were going to get married, especially our mothers." He watched as Sam tried to hold back her laughter and he continued on attempting to explain himself. "I tried staying away from Anna but then we had class together and I couldn't anymore. I knew all my friends were freaking her out at that point with talk of Blair and I wanted to be just a normal guy for her."

Sam laughed at the absurdity of the situation before giving him a small smile. "We all have our secrets."

"That we do." Nate replied with a nod, feeling somewhat relieved that someone finally knew. Her statement told him that he didn't have to worry about her telling either. Sam was chill and for whatever reason she just got it.

Thinking more about the situation they were beginning to find themselves in Sam looked at Nate and shook her head; feeling as though he should be warned. "You do realize, she's going to be furious when she finds out don't you?"

Nate nodded slowly before exhaling. "Oh I know. But I'm hoping when I explain why I did it, she'll forgive me."

"You like her don't you." Sam noted, eyes wide as she came to yet another realization. Nate wasn't quite an open book but it seemed if you knew what pages to turn he revealed quite a bit.

Again Nate blushed. He wasn't sure how to respond to that, or if he should at all. "I have to ask that you don't mention this to anyone, not just Anna."

Sam nodded before shooting Nate a bemused glance. "So since we're sharing secrets…are you in this secret society thing Anna's going through trials for?"

Nate's eyes widened in alarmed surprise. How the hell did Sam know anything about that? Granted most in their circle knew something about the Fellows because enough of them or their parents had been members but Sam knowing didn't make much sense especially since she was fighting with Anna. "How did you…?"

Sam shrugged slightly before deciding that telling Nate probably wouldn't hurt anything. "The night I slept with Diego he was really drunk, he started rambling on about it; come to think of it he might have even mentioned your name."

"My name?" Nate asked surprised. As he asked he procured a glass of water from one of the waiters and handed it to Sam, it was clear she'd had a lot to drink and Nate had always had a pretty good feeling for when enough was enough.

Sam nodded. "He was pretty disgruntled about the sum total of men in Anna's life. And the whole secret society thing wasn't so much his forte. Has she finished those trial thingies yet?" Sam asked taking a small sip of water.

"Tasks." Nate corrected her gently. "And no, there's one to go."

For the briefest of moments Sam considered revenge sabotage but shook it off quickly, she didn't want to alienate their friendship further. Not that she actually had the opportunity.

Nate was about to respond and change the subject when he saw Fitz approaching. "Oh great." He muttered under his breath. "Speaking of the Fellows."

Sam followed his line of sight, smiling when she saw Fitz - so he'd found her after all. But then she recognized that Nate's displeasure was due to his incoming presence. "You know Fitz?" She asked confused.

"Unfortunately." Nate spat, anger building beneath the surface. "I don't know what he wants to talk about I thought he understood that I wanted to be left alone. He's kind of in charge of the Fellows; and by kinda I mean completely"

Sam smirked, still rolling from the effects of the alcohol - not that she wasn't smart mouth even when sober. "As interesting as that is, I think he's here for me."

Nate looked at her in surprise before realizing that he was right, Fitz had barely even registered his presence, his eyes were locked on Sam, bringing about a fair bit of jealousy. "How do you…"

Sam smiled as Fitz reached them before turning her head towards Nate. "Fitz stepped in when my escort failed to show up."

Fitz nodded returning her smile. "Something which you've failed to explain." After speaking he looked towards Nate and gave a respectful nod in his direction.

Sam hesitated, there it was, if she wanted to sabotage Anna, there wouldn't be a better time. If Fitz was as important as Nathaniel claimed, Sam had a feeling that Fitz knowing what Anna had done would not serve her well with the Fellows.

Just as Anna's revenge was on the tip of her tongue she spotted her across the room staring directly at the three of them. Sam was still pretty good at reading her friend and noticed the flash of stunned fear in her gaze. Turning back towards Fitz she shrugged. "A serious miscommunication mixed with a bit of high school girl drama. I do owe you for stepping in though."

"It was my pleasure." Fitz spoke, a genuine smile on his face as he looked at the firecracker redhead before him, he had a feeling she had the potential to keep him on his toes. Generally Fitz was a nice guy but right now all he could think about was how take her home with him, he was totally bewitched. "I need to head out, may I escort you home."

Sam immediately recognized the look in his eyes, currently Fitz was a bit too intoxicated and was thinking of nothing more than getting her in bed, specifically his bed. So instead she gave him a small smile. "I'm covered thanks."

As Fitz said his goodbyes, kissing her hand once more, she found Anna with her eyes and gave her the slightest of nods. She wasn't going to rat her out, no matter how angry she might be. Looking back towards Nate, she gave him an easy smile, she could already tell they were going to be great friends, or perhaps accomplices was the better word.

"So what really happened?" Nate asked almost laughing aloud. He'd seen her exchange a couple glances with Anna and knew their mutual friend was involved.

Sam scoffed slightly. "Anna and Jenny decided to get a bit of revenge. They switched my dress, got rid of my date, and got me in trouble with Eleanor. I didn't say anything because it's not like her revenge is unfounded and I didn't want to get her in trouble with the Fellows."

"What's funny, is that it probably would have earned her points in the long run. The Fellows admire a certain amount of ruthlessness." Nate said with a smile before nodding as he began to understand various things throughout the night. This was the Gossip Girl blast he'd heard other people mentioning earlier, it made more sense now. "It seems as though you worked the date and dress thing out yourself, as for Eleanor...I probably have a bit of sway there. I could help you out."

"You'd do that?" Sam asked in surprise. She wasn't used to guys being nice to her unless they were trying to get in her pants, but it seems as though Nate was a genuinely good guy.

Nate shrugged giving her an easy smile. "Why not?" He could tell that the redhead was surprised and once more thought about how much she reminded him of Serena, they had the same kind of inner-brightness, though Serena had never been quite as much of a trouble maker as this one. "Now, do you need a lift home?"

Sam smiled, so he'd seen through her minor rejection when it came to Fitz too - this was quite interesting. "I actually am staying in the hotel."

Nate laughed, oh this was complicated. He knew what he was about to suggest was dangerous with Chuck and Anna still somewhere in the ballroom but for once he just wanted to cut loose. "In that case, what do you say to another drink? I'm in the mood to have fun."

Laughing, Sam nodded. Fun was something she was quite good at.

* * *

As soon as Sam nodded towards her, Anna felt her muscles relax. Sam had chosen not to tell Fitz what had really happened, she could tell from her gaze. Once that was out of the way Anna resumed her search for Cassie - she had a few choice words for her friend and so far she'd been unable to find her.

Instead of spotting Cassie, her eyes found Chuck speaking with a few others and started walking towards him.

When Chuck saw Anna he smirked. This was it, this is what this whole night had been coming down to, the question was - had his plan actually worked? Stepping away from his friends he raised his hand towards the musicians - cueing the song he'd requested.

_**We'd be so less fragile  
**__**If we're made from metal  
**__**And our hearts from iron  
**__**And our minds from steel**_

Anna continued walking towards Chuck, a frown firmly in place. "Have you seen Cassie?" She asked her voice curt.

Chuck shook his head slightly before placing a hand on her waist and taking her other with his own, moving his feet in a dance with her. "I'm pretty sure she left, without her clothes I might add, but here I am."

_**And if we built an armor  
**__**For our tender bodies  
**__**Could we love each other  
**__**Would we stop to feel**_

Anna exhaled angrily, though she didn't stop their little dance. "She intervened on my plan to humiliate Sam, it was her dress that Sam was wearing."

"And I thought you had things covered." Chuck spoke, his voice almost a drawl.

_**And you want three wishes:  
**__**One to fly the heavens  
**__**One to swim like fishes**_

Anna tilted her head in confusion as realizations began to assault her brain. "I know that look." She spoke surprised. She'd seen it enough by now; from the day they'd agreed to be friends, to when he'd seduced her on double date, and countless times since. "It's the look when your plan falls into place. You're enjoying this."

Chuck fixed his face in a mask of confused surprised but didn't stop her impending tirade.

_**And then one you're saving for a rainy day  
**__**If your lover ever takes her love away  
**__**Ooh ooh ooh**_

"You did this." She spoke, floored. "You were the only one who knew I was planning to humiliate Sam, and you were alone with Cassie just before things fell apart. You told her what I was doing."

Chuck shook his head. "No...Anna I."

_**You say you want to know her like your lover  
**__**And undo her damage, she'll be new again**_

Anna took a step away, exhaling loudly in disappointment, remembering earlier the way he'd almost teased that she hadn't been able to carry out the plan without him...he was jealous. "You did this just because I didn't involve you in the plotting and you didn't think how upset I would be when it didn't work out."

Chuck reached for her, trying to pull her back to him as he'd done so many years ago. "Hey slow down there Annabelle."

_**Soon you'll find that if you try to save her  
**__**It renews her anger  
**__**You will never win**_

Jerking away she spat her next words at him "I can't look at you right now."

"Anna!" Chuck called after her retreating back all the while thinking. _Please let this work, please let this trigger something, don't let me have made her angry for nothing. _

_**And you want three wishes:  
**__**You want never bitter  
**__**And all delicious**_

"DON'T TALK TO ME!" She shouted over her shoulder, so angry she couldn't function. What was Chuck thinking? How could he do this to her of all people? She thought she was different? In the next moment, she felt assaulted as though by a freight train.

_**And then one you're saving for a rainy day  
**__**If your lover ever takes her love away  
**__**Ooh ooh ooh**_

_Everything was tinged in gold and everything looked absolutely beautiful as though it were sparkling, but right now she didn't care, her debutante ball had been ruined._

_"DON'T TALK TO ME!" She felt the words reverberate through her body, accompanied only by the humiliation she felt at what he'd done to her. How could he do this to her of all people? She was so furious at being manipulated by the one person she thought cared too much to do that to her. _

_**And you want three wishes:  
**__**One to fly the heavens  
**__**One to swim like fishes**_

_Gripping her silver dress in her hand she was storming out of the ballroom towards the staircase. She was going to make him regret messing with her and humiliating her like that._

Anna fell to the ground, feeling as though she'd been jerked back into her body. She could swear that she'd kept walking forwards, almost through the grand entrance way at the stairs but instead she was back ten feet before that on the ground. Her head was throbbing and that song...it was the same wasn't it. Looking down at her hand she could see the fabric of her dress clutched tightly and realized that the fabric wasn't silver...it was black. What the hell had just happened?

_**You want never bitter  
**__**And all delicious  
**__**And a clean conscience  
**__**And all its blisses**_

Her entire body was shaking as she realized that she wasn't on the ground but in Chuck's arms, turning her head she looked up at him. "You caught me."

"Are you okay?" He asked slowly. He wasn't sure what he'd expected but this wasn't it. This whole night he'd been planning this. He'd noticed before in moments that were similar to their past together that she'd spoken words from their past, tonight he'd gone the extra mile trying to make things as similar as possible, right down to the emotion. Something had happened...he just wasn't sure what yet.

_**You want one true lover with a thousand kisses  
**__**You want soft and gentle and never vicious**_

Looking up at Chuck, Anna exhaled, feeling the abrupt pain begin to leave her body. As it did she held to him tightly and whispered. "Take me home Chuck."

Holding her tightly to him Chuck nodded. He was scared because she was clearly in some form of pain, what had the flash of memory done to her. He could do this, he could help her remember...but at what eventual cost?

_**And then one you're saving for a rainy day  
**__**If your lover ever takes her love away**_

* * *

Nate and Sam laughed as they flopped down on her bed. They were both disheveled and completely wasted. "I don't know the last time I had this much fun." Nate said turning his head to see Sam. He smiled as she brushed her flaming hair off her face so that she could see him.

Grinning unabashedly Sam turned her head to face Nate. "You know, me either. I mean I love designing but lately it's been work rather than fun and this being Queen business actually sucks."

"Then don't do it." Nate said, words a bit slurred as he rose onto one elbow, shifting his body to look down at her. "At the end of the day it's your choice isn't it?"

Sam exhaled staring up at the ceiling. "Yes and no. I mean sure I could step down, but then I'd have to abide by someone else's rule and I've never been very good at that."

Nate laughed. "No I don't suppose you have. That's why Jenny kept the position - but don't tell her I told you."

"Archibald I'm starting to think that every word we say to each other probably falls into that category." Sam said, laughing herself.

Nate smiled lazily down at her, taken aback by how beautiful she was when her guard was down. Reaching forwards he brushed a piece of hair off her face before leaning towards her slowly.

Sam's breath caught in her throat as Nate moved to kiss her. Every molecule in her body was humming at the thought and before she knew what she was doing she'd tilted her chin up, bringing her lips to his.

Before either of them could really get a handle on what was going on they were tumbling on the mattress, each of them grabbing whatever they could to steady themselves against one another. Nate groaned as she tugged on his lip with her teeth, his hands fisting in her hair.

Sam's hips flexed on instinct, smirking against his mouth as she felt his hardness. He seemed to be everywhere at once, something that could be a symptom of the alcohol or he might just be that good.

"Sam…" Nate groaned against her as his hands worked their way under her expansive skits. Clutching her to him he rubbed himself against her center. It had been such a long time since he'd felt anything like this, his entire body was on fire.

The moment Nate's hand slipped into her underwear Sam froze, air seemed to fill her lungs suddenly causing the realization of what she was doing to hit home. This wasn't just some guy, this was Nate Archibald. Did she really want to do this? "Nate, wait a second?"

Nate stopped, hands frozen in position as he met Sam's gaze. "What's wrong?"

"We're drunk." Sam replied, her voice lacking its usual luster.

Nate smiled in response. "I know. And I'm rather enjoying it."

Sam couldn't help but grin before forcing herself to sit up, causing his hands to drop. "So am I. But we can't do this."

Nate frowned, the clear signs of a pout forming. "Why not?"

Sam laughed, God this guy was beyond cute. "You might not be dating Anna, but you're her friend. If we do anything, she's going to think I went after you because of her."

Nate could feel himself deflate before her because he knew she was right about that, and about other things she hadn't said. "And my...feelings for her, only make it all the more complicated."

Sam nodded. "You're welcome to crash here, but this is as far as things go with us. At least until everything gets sorted out."

Nodding, Nate leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips before whispering. "Thank you."

Standing Sam went to put her pajamas on before returning to find Nate in his underwear and dress shirt. Laughing she walked over to one of the drawers and removed a pair of pajama bottoms, tossing them towards Nate. "Here, these should fit. I stole them from one of my ex's because they were comfortable."

Pulling them on, Nate took off his shirt and climbed under the covers of Sam's bed. This was not how he'd pictured the night ending but he couldn't help but be grateful that it had. "I'm glad I met you, Samantha Jamison."

"You too Archibald." Sam replied before reaching over and turning off the light.

* * *

_"Don't talk to me." She cried as she fled the ballroom. She didn't care that he was calling her name. How dare he do this to her! He could manipulate the lives of other people as much as he wanted to, in fact she would usually participate in his schemes whole heartedly; but that he thought he could control her, infuriated her to no end. That she had actually considered letting people find out about them was laughable to her now._

_Some part of her, the wild one of course, thought that maybe, just maybe, he was different with her. She knew that he had feelings for her, he had admitted it on her 17th Birthday and the past month with him had been great. She felt like she could be herself around him, no judgment, no pain. But as much as she would like to keep that, he had a lesson to learn._

_Her mind was a mess, she didn't know who he was and her thoughts were so jumbled but she could feel her feelings, she knew that she felt the way about him that she did about the "him" from the plane crash. Was this...could this be a memory...was that what had happened earlier? Turn around, she told her dream self, turn around and see his face._

_She didn't have time to really contemplate, her dream self kept going though even she was so preoccupied in thought that she ran straight into someone else. Looking up she smiled, though inside she cringed, another faceless face how perfect. But it was perfect - this was exactly what she needed to get back at "him." To show "him" who he was dealing with. _

_"Hey there." The faceless blonde spoke, catching her by her shoulders. _

_She shot him a seductive smile. "Hey yourself." Laying a palm on his chest she internally cringed, what the hell was she doing? Even as she thought it she felt herself place one of her hands on the crook of his arm, which was still lying on her shoulder and gently tugged it downwards. She lightly took his hand and started leading him towards the grand staircase. _

_She had suspected that the blondie was trying to win her back the moment that he showed up at her house wearing the sweater she had sewn the pin into. "I thought you left." She said softly, still leading him by his hand. This was going to be almost too easy. Apparently she loved blondie and now it seemed he felt the same. In teaching "him" a lesson, she might just get her perfect life back._

_"No, I was simply waiting on my date." He said with a knowing look. "I couldn't very well abandon the most beautiful girl in the room when so many guys would die to get a chance with her."_

_She smiled sweetly and blushed at his compliment. Blondie of course had no clue how close to the truth he actually was. As they reached the top of the stairs, she spotted the door that she was looking for and led him toward it. She glanced back towards the ballroom only to spot "him" nearing the staircase. As soon as she noticed this she pulled blondie to her, placing the hand she had been holding on her own waist and leaning in to kiss him._

_Blondie reached over to the right door and opened it as she pushed him against the left. He let her take over and left his hands on her waist and back._

_She pushed blondie against the door and kissed him roughly. She pulled back slightly and spoke loudly enough that anyone nearby would hear; hopefully by now that included "him". "It was so hot how you punched Carter out. I've never seen you do anything like that before." She said before kissing him once more, all the while hoping that that statement didn't sound as fake aloud as it had in her head._

_She felt blondie shift and knew that he had seen someone. She continued kissing him, moving her kisses to his neck, determined not to look and check that it was indeed "him" because she didn't know that she would be able to go through with this if she actually saw "him", even though he deserved it for the way he'd treated her tonight. She could sense blondie wink at the guy, which was confirmation enough for her that it was definitely "him" and as he backed into the bedroom, she followed, pulling the door closed behind them._

Anna woke up gasping, what the hell was that? But in her heart she knew, she knew it was a memory. Once more her head began to throb. It seemed as though what had happened earlier was just a small taste of what was to come.

Part of her heart clenched. Was that really her? Had she ever been so insecure and immature? She could feel how she felt for the "him" that she'd been running from and it didn't compare to blondie - what could she have been thinking acting like that?

Shaking her head she realized it didn't matter anymore. That may have been her once but she was different now. If that was her past, then that was okay, but it wasn't her future.

Exhaling she realized that this was the first concrete thing she remembered in some time. It was strange and though it made her happy, there was also a nervousness that seemed to accompany it. Part of her would swear that the location of that memory had been the same ballroom that she'd been in earlier tonight but at the same time there were differences. Different colors, different doorways, the staircase was completely different, there was a totally different feel to the room. Maybe the room had been remodeled but she knew she was grasping at straws...it wasn't the same place.

Sitting up, Chuck was quickly drawn from sleep by Blair's movements. It alarmed him because he knew she was still shaken from earlier and truth be told the idea that she had nightmares scared him because of what she'd done after the first nightmare. "Everything okay?" Chuck asked softly.

Anna looked back at him with a furrowed brow before nodding slowly. "Earlier I had a flash of memory, I wasn't sure what it was then but now I'm sure. I just dreamed more of it, I was in some ballroom and I'd just yelled at someone not to talk to me, like I did with you tonight."

Chuck's eyes widened, when he'd brought her upstairs she'd just wanted to go to sleep, he wasn't sure what she might have remembered, this could be big. "Any idea where you were?"

"Honestly for a moment I thought it was the same ballroom." She said with a laugh. "Can you believe that? Then I noticed all the differences between the two. Not similar spaces at all actually."

Chuck tried not to grimace, he'd forgotten about the remodeling that was done on the Palace Ballroom their senior year of high school...how unfortunately unproductive. "About earlier…"

"Chuck you don't have to say anything." Anna replied a small smile on her lips.

Chuck sat further up, taking her face in his hands. "I'm so sorry for what I did, I was out of line. And you're right I was a bit jealous. Maybe that's why I slipped up and bragged to Cassie about what I knew; but I swear I didn't think she'd do what she did."

Anna smiled again. "I know and that's part of the reason I'm not mad anymore. I was upset then but not really at you. I love you, you know."

"I know." Chuck spoke softly. "I wanted to tell you earlier before the evening dissolved. I'm buying a hotel, the big one on the Upper West Side."

Anna's eyes shot open in surprise. "That's...that's a huge deal Chuck. It's got to cost a ton of money."

Chuck smirked through a grin. "It will, but it has such potential and I know that I can do something great with it."

"How…" Anna asked, completely taken aback by his certainty.

At that Chuck smiled, drawing her close. "Because I have you and that makes me feel like I can do anything. You believe in me and you make me believe in myself again for the first time in so long."

Anna couldn't help but beam at the way Chuck described his feelings, the way she made him feel. It was reassuring to know she could affect someone in that way. "There aren't words." She spoke softly, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

Chuck returned her kiss gently before continuing. There was more he wanted to say. "There's a penthouse at the hotel that I'm going to move into. I would like nothing more than for you to join me."

"Chuck…" Anna gasped completely surprised. That wasn't what she was expecting him to say, she thought he understood that she wasn't ready for that just yet. "We talked about that before the gala Chuck."

Chuck nodded slowly, reassuringly. "I know. I'm not asking you to give up your dorm, I'm merely suggesting that you might want to consider the idea of helping me decorate the place, and maybe keeping a few things there if you feel comfortable."

Pursing her lips Anna rolled his words over in her head, it wasn't as though he was being unreasonable.

When he could see that Anna was thinking about what he said he smiled. "The deal itself won't be finalized for months at the earliest – in fact it's in escrow so I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything; I just wanted to let you know where I stood."

Smiling Anna finally found herself nodding. "How about we see where we stand when the deal goes through and reevaluate? In the mean time I'll work out how I feel about it all."

Leaning forwards Chuck placed another kiss on her lips and this time neither of them broke away.

It was later that day after Blair had left the suite, that Chuck went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Reaching for his tooth brush his eyes landed on a sticky note attached to a familiar pink brush and he smiled taking the note and reading it over.

**BABY STEPS**

Chuckling to himself, he placed the sticky note up on his mirror, smiling because she'd written it.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed it lovelies, the song was of course Three Wishes by the Pierces (the same as from episode 1.10). Thanks for reading, Reviews are as always ever so much appreciated!**

**xoxo - kate**


	32. A Lot to Be Thankful For?

So sorry for the delay everyone. Since my last post I've officially moved into my new apartment in NYC and though my job is still monopolizing my time. I meant to post yesterday (or even Tuesday) But got caught up in family stuff. Anyways - I've got an extra-long chapter to celebrate Thanksgiving!

To my reviewers: **Ggfanficfan09, Tigger23, Kels, lovely-thalia, A, CarolinaGirl21, miracle-dreamer1234, SouthernBelle88, CharmedAndDangerous22, ebs12, LitPrincess2787, wcb-lover, Immortalrunes, Trosev, ImaDayDREAMER08, H, fanny0997, jamieerin, K, annablake, MissJess13**, and especially **k o soul7** who just started reading and reviewed almost every single chapter. Honestly she's had a lot to do with why I started trying to find time to write again as her reviews were very inspiring. To everyone else, thanks for your reviews - I appreciate it (even those that aren't particularly happy with me).

Lastly thanks as always to my fantastic beta ggff-fan, I don't know what I'd do without you!

* * *

**Chapter 32: A Lot to Be Thankful For?**

"So do we have plans today?" Anna asked, rolling onto her side to face Chuck. She was delightfully naked in his bed and they'd just had a bit of wake-up-in-the-early-morning-when-it's-too-early-to-really-be-awake sex. She shrugged off the fact that it was only five a.m. - right now she felt so energized.

Chuck groaned slightly, sure that his dead to the world ears must have misheard her. He was about a millisecond away from falling back asleep but he knew he should probably try to figure out what she was actually asking first. "What did you say?" He mumbled sleepily.

Anna smiled, Chuck was beyond adorable when he was tired. "I asked if we have any particular Thanksgiving plans today." She said, her voice soft as she placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

At that, Chuck's eyes snapped open - he hadn't misheard her - _crap_. He could have sworn they'd talked about this, there was no way that it had slipped his mind, not Thanksgiving. Pushing himself to a half sitting position, he looked down at her. "Umm...did we not talk about Thanksgiving plans awhile back?" He asked hoping she'd just forgotten, though he could tell by the look in her eyes that she hadn't.

"No…." Anna spoke bemused.

Chuck exhaled, annoyed with himself for not remembering to talk to her about this. It was all so unfair anyway. If anyone should get to celebrate Thanksgiving it was Blair but it was because of who she was that they couldn't.

Taking a deep breath Chuck readied himself realizing this was going to be a blow for her. "Thanksgiving was Blair's favorite holiday." He spoke slowly.

Anna's eyes widened, it was rare that he spoke directly about Blair. She knew it was because he didn't want her to feel insecure. "Okay." She spoke her voice reassuring.

"Every Thanksgiving her parents throw this big dinner at their house and we all go. Since no one's heard from her in so long, it's become like a thing." Chuck spoke carefully.

"Oh." Anna's voice was barely a whisper before she let out a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding. "So I'm not invited."

Chuck tilted his head, his remorse already clear in his eyes. "Eleanor really misses Blair," Looking away Chuck thought how best to phrase this without telling her about Blair's supposed death. "Eleanor thinks of her as being gone from her life…in a permanent sort of way. Thanksgiving is almost like a Memorial."

At that, Anna's brows furrowed. That was strange but then again, she didn't really know the ins and outs of what had happened; who knew for sure anyway, maybe Blair was dead and Eleanor was the only one willing to admit it - not that Anna would say anything. But if Blair was dead... Anna stopped herself from going any further with that thought, it wouldn't be smart to start losing it now. "I get it."

Reaching forwards Chuck tucked a chocolate curl behind her ear, smiling because it had lost all of the honey that the south had dipped it in and now it was so familiar against the fabric of his pillow. "If I could bring you without upsetting her parents I would but I don't think they could handle it."

Anna pushed herself up on one elbow and leaned into Chuck letting her lips place the softest of kisses on his own. "It's okay, I understand." She was a bit put out by the idea but honestly what could she do but try to be understanding. This was apparently a big deal with Blair's family, she couldn't fault Chuck for that. Though she did wonder for a moment why she - his current girlfriend - didn't take precedence over the family of his ex.

"I'll come by after, I promise." Chuck leaned closer to Blair, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her against him. "Now let's see if we can luxuriate in the last few hours of sleep before we have to start the day." As she mumbled her ascent and quickly drifted under he couldn't help but let his mind wander a bit.

Truthfully, he would have loved to spend Thanksgiving with Blair, and every other minute of the day, but he knew that he had to be there today or it would really upset her parents. Honestly, he didn't care much what Eleanor thought after the way she'd acted when the crash happened but Harold was different.

The past few weeks, he'd put helping her to remember on the back burner because of how much it had affected her when she flashbacked to her Debutante Ball. If he didn't have to be at the Waldorf's, Thanksgiving would have been the perfect opportunity to coax another memory from her but as it stood they'd be spending the holiday apart.

* * *

Chuck momentarily considered pulling the emergency stop on the elevator as it rose to the Waldorf Penthouse. This was going to be one of the more difficult Thanksgiving's of his life which was of course saying quite a lot all things considered. It would be hard enough just being away from Anna but it was going to be even harder because this was the first time he was seeing Blair's parents since learning the truth.

Every year the Thanksgiving dinner at the Waldorf's became more like a memorial to Blair. Everyone who'd mattered in her life was invited and there was even a time when they all sat around sharing their memories of her. Even when he had completely shut himself off from the world, he still came to the Thanksgiving dinner but Chuck didn't know how to do this now that he knew she was alive. Thank god Serena and Eric would be there for backup.

Taking a deep breath he walked into the entryway, stopping before entering the foyer to get his bearings. Looking around he saw everyone standing in clusters.

Cyrus and Eleanor were standing closest to the entryway talking with Lily and Rufus who for once appeared not to be arguing. Not far from them he could see Harold and Roman speaking with Anne Archibald and her new husband Patrick Windsor - for a moment his mind strayed to Nate, wondering if his friend knew that Anne had brought his stepfather to this gathering of theirs, even though he and Nate didn't really get along.

Near the adults Chuck's gaze glanced over Aaron Rose and a girl Chuck was pretty sure he'd slept with a few years back, a dancer if he remembered correctly; he was fairly certain they were dating but he couldn't be sure. Shaking his head his eyes traveled to his friends who were mostly standing together… Dan, Serena, Eric, and Jenny who appeared to have brought a guy with her that he was only vaguely familiar with; he looked like someone he'd known at St. Judes.

Satisfied that he had adequately surveyed the landscape, noting at very least those whose presence bared any importance on his mind, Chuck proceeded into the foyer where he was immediately stopped by Blair's parents.

Upon seeing Chuck, both Eleanor and Harold excused themselves from their present conversations and walked towards the young man. Neither had seen Chuck for a considerable amount of time and though neither was certain what the change was they could tell something was different.

Eleanor reached him first. "Charles." She exclaimed with a polite smile on her face. It wasn't forced but being around Chuck was always a bit difficult for her. He was simply unreasonable following Blair's death, refusing to allow any of them to move on and it had driven a wedge more permanently between them. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"Of course." Chuck spoke politely - only slightly surprised that his stomach wasn't yet twisting with guilt. After all he'd never forgiven Eleanor for giving up on Blair and now that he knew that she'd been wrong he couldn't help but place some of the blame for never finding her on Eleanor. Yet when he felt a strong hand clasp on his shoulder he had the opposite reaction. His entire body seemed to cave internally.

"Chuck...how are you?" Harold asked sincerely. His heart breaking just a bit for the young man before him, on some level he'd always thought that he and Chuck understood each other's pain. He'd known from the beginning that Chuck and Blair had something special - even when they were children, like two halves of the same whole. Harold could only imagine the agony of what it must be to have that and then to lose it and at such a young age.

Chuck looked at Harold and pushed a grin onto his face, brushing aside the guilt of what he knew and forcing himself to remember that he was doing this for her. "Better than I've been in a while. I'm dating again."

Harold's eyebrows rose as he took in Chuck's face. He'd known immediately that there was something different about Chuck's appearance but now he could actually see it. The cloud of darkness that had been hanging around him since Blair's death was starting to lift. He smiled at the young man, knowing that Chuck had mourned Blair long enough. The knowledge that during his daughter's life she'd been loved like that made him at peace, Chuck didn't deserve the kind of pain he'd been putting himself through in the time since. "Good for you."

Chuck forced himself to nod in response, giving Harold the smallest of smiles in return. Today was going to be even more difficult than he imagined if every time Harold spoke to him or looked at him with his warm gaze Chuck felt like he was being ripped to shreds internally.

He moved on, speaking only briefly with the other parents while exchanging tortured looks with Serena and Eric. As they returned them Chuck realized that this wasn't going to be easy for them either; but for Blair's sake it's what they had to do. Finally beginning to get his bearings Chuck took a deep breath before turning towards the rest of the room.

As he began moving towards where his friend's had been standing he realized that Jenny and the guy he didn't know were standing with Eric, Serena and Dan had appeared to have wandered off. He knew eventually he'd need to pull Eric and Serena aside for a little chat to make sure they were all on the same page, but for now everything was fine.

Approaching the small blonde group Chuck slid them a slow smirk. "What's going on over there?" He asked gesturing subtly towards Dan and Serena who seemed to be attempting small talk with Aaron and his date - Rufus and Lily standing close by.

Jenny rolled her eyes and ignored the fact that Riley's hand had slipped around her waist even though it seemed to make her insides turn to jelly. "I think they're trying to make things less awkward."

When Chuck looked mildly confused Eric stepped in and spoke. "You know after the whole Serena and Aaron dated only to eventually break up because she still had feelings for Dan and now they're all pseudo-step siblings?"

Chuck nodded understanding. He'd forgotten about all of that. Serena and Aaron Rose hadn't really been on his radar much during that point. It had all happened right around the time his father died.

They were all still casting not so subtle glances at the group, hoping something interesting might happen when Jenny furrowed her eyebrows and narrowed her gaze to get a closer look before turning her head towards Chuck. "Wait a minute…didn't you use to sleep with that girl?"

Eric snorted laughter. "You know if she's between the ages of 18 and 30 there's a fifty-fifty chance."

Chuck grumbled for only a second about Eric's comment before nodding at Jenny. "I believe I did but how in the world did you know that?"

Jenny blushed slightly. "The night...the one you apologized to me for what happened my freshman year, you kicked her out because you'd already slept with her."

Chuck exhaled tilting his head back. "That's right! I knew I'd seen those legs before…with a lot less clothing on them."

The group laughed amongst themselves continuing as they watched Serena scolding her mother for accepting a glass of champagne while pregnant. Eric ran his hand through his hair as he looked at them. "By the way my mother acts, you'd think she'd never been pregnant before, much less three times."

Amongst the group's continued laughter Jenny smirked. "And by the way Serena's scolding her, you'd think she had."

Most of the group laughed but Chuck couldn't help but freeze up. Observing Serena more closely he could see the strain in her brow. She really was behaving as though she knew exactly what she was doing. He could see her now as she continued to scold as her mother reached for the tuna tartar appetizer.

Facing the group once more Chuck scowled. "Where is the third son on this lovely occasion? Or is he no longer pushing his way into this family by forcing his presence upon us?"

"They're with Vanessa's family. But Chuck you shouldn't..." Jenny started before shaking her head. She didn't much care for Scott either. Dan was the only one particularly close to him. "Oh what am I saying, he's never really felt like family anyway." Looking over at Chuck she smiled softly, surprising herself at the sisterly affection she felt for him. "Not like you have anyway."

Chuck couldn't help the warmth that spread through him at Jenny's comment. It wasn't that the two of them had ever been close but for the first time he surprisingly felt exactly what she was saying. They'd become a family. All of them. He smiled at her before smirking ever so slightly and turning to the young man standing beside her extending his hand he gave a slight nod. "I'm Chuck Bass - I'm not sure we've met."

Riley felt his spine straighten as he fought to keep his face neutral - Chuck Bass was not friendly as a rule, especially in the past couple years, it was a big deal for him to willingly acknowledge a stranger. Shaking Chuck's hand he gave him a nod of his own. "Riley Sharpe."

"A friend of Jenny's I presume." Chuck stated, one eyebrow lifted.

Riley looked over at Jenny almost in search of Chuck's answer. Her face held firm until the smallest of smirks appeared there and he couldn't help but smile. In all honesty he was just happy being there with Jenny. They'd grown apart over the past year and he was glad they'd had recent reason to reconnect. She was important to him, she'd been a major person in his life and a part of him would always want to be with her in some manner. Holding her gaze a moment longer than was acceptable for anyone, especially Chuck, to believe he felt nothing more than friendship for Jenny he turned his head slowly back towards the group. "Yes, a friend."

Jenny couldn't help but smile just a bit at Riley's hesitation - this was going to be easier than she'd originally thought. Jenny had brought Riley here to begin the next phase of the plot against Sam. She had to ensure that Riley abandoned Sam to the sharks of Constance when the time came, otherwise his status could be enough to save her. Thanksgiving was the perfect time to separate him from Sam and give Jenny a chance to really dig her claws in. If Riley actually felt genuine affection for her, it would just make things that much easier.

Chuck observed the exchange between the two, somewhat intrigued. It appeared as though there were different levels of gameplay going on amongst them, however, his attention was drawn away by the increased volume of what appeared to be yet another disgruntled argument between Lily and Rufus. "How much longer are they going to drag this out?" Chuck asked the small group.

Jenny pursed her lips. "At least another five months to a year. Rufus won't leave Lily while she's pregnant with their child and then he'll try to stay together for the baby."

Eric scoffed in disgust as Lily continued to prattle on at Rufus about God knows what. "That's more I can say for mom. I give them three months."

Dan and Serena were backing away, extracting themselves from the situation which only caused everyone to start laughing once more. Something they tried desperately to hide as it began to draw attention. "Don't you dare let them corner us again!" Serena exclaimed as she rejoined the group.

Dan nodded. "Normally I would judge you for that statement Serena but they were in rare form today."

The group continued stifling laughter until Serena paused looking amongst them. "Wait a second...where's Nate? He should have been here by now."

Eric grinned as he gestured towards the elevator which had just opened to reveal their missing comrade. "Late as per usual."

Each of them turned to face the elevators. As they did Chuck felt his stomach clench - it was still difficult to see Nate now knowing what he knew.

Nate grinned at his friends - lifting his chin in recognition before extending his arm behind him.

Everyone watched in surprise as a svelte arm wrapped around Nate's followed by the lithe form of Samantha Jamison.

"Interesting turn of events." Chuck spoke softly under his breath. He wasn't sure when Nate had become acquaintances with Sam, especially since he'd made such a concerted effort not to meet Anna. This could complicate things.

"You could say that." Eric spoke with an amused expression on his face.

Jenny immediately clutched Riley's hand more tightly. This was not a part of today's plan. This was supposed to be her opportunity to lock things down where Riley was concerned and now there was a possibility she'd have to compete with Sam for his attention? Not to mention the audacity she had to show up in Eleanor's house just weeks after being fired.

Riley felt Jenny tense up beside him, however it was the way she clutched his hand that really drew his attention. It was almost as though she was afraid he'd walk away from her. Smiling down at the blonde reassuringly he did his best to ensure she realized that he wasn't going anywhere.

Chuck once more noticed the look Riley was giving Jenny causing him to lean towards Eric and whisper. "Look at lover boy."

Eric immediately followed Chuck's gaze and grinned. "Do you think she knows?"

Chuck just shook his head and smirked. "She's got no idea."

Serena looked around confused. Jenny looked pissed, Riley confused, while Dan, Chuck, and Eric had looks of bemusement on their faces. Serena had her own reasons for being unsettled, her feelings for Nate hadn't changed - and this girl was definitely attractive. "Who is she? And what don't I know?"

"Isn't that..." Dan started before Jenny cut in.

Running her tongue quickly across her lips, Jenny felt her eyes narrow in suspicion - she didn't like this one bit. "That's Samantha Jamison, Anna's ex-best friend, Riley's ex-girlfriend. She slept with two of Anna's boyfriends." Turning to Serena she couldn't help but give her a sly grin. "Her relationship with Anna makes your relationship with Blair look like a walk in the park."

"THAT'S SAM?" Serena exclaimed looking around the group...she wasn't sure how she was the only one that didn't know this. "What the hell is she doing with Nate?"

Eric shook his head, still wrapping his mind around this latest turn of events. "I think that's something we'd all like to know."

Chuck laughed lowly as Sam and Nate approached the group. "Looks like we're about to get the opportunity to find out."

"Or not." Dan said, laughter in his voice as they all watched Nate and Sam turn and instead head to where Eleanor was standing.

Nate led Sam towards Eleanor even though he felt her begin to draw back, creating a bit of resistance.

"Are you sure we have to do this right this second?" Sam asked, her nerves showing beginning to show even though she had a smile plastered on her face.

Nate tugged her close and spoke softly. "Yes, if we don't do it now Eleanor will feel disrespected. You have to deal with this head on. Stand tall, I've got this."

Sam gave him a quick nod and took a deep breath because that was all she had time for before they were face to face with Eleanor.

"Nathaniel! I'm so glad you made it." Eleanor spoke enthusiastically. Causing Sam to realize that she'd chosen an ally well. Eleanor clearly liked Nate quite a bit. However whatever little reassurance that provided her disappeared completely as Eleanor's gaze turned towards her. "And Samantha...whatever are you doing in my house?"

Sam was about to speak when she felt Nate take her hand and squeeze, reminding her of the plan. So it was his calm steady voice that responded to Eleanor's question rather than hers.

"I'm afraid that's my fault." Nate spoke armed with a politician's smile and a charming tone. "Sam's a friend of mine and when I found out she didn't have Thanksgiving plans I insisted she accompany me to mine. When we got here and she realized this was your dinner she wanted to leave out of respect for you but I insisted she stay."

Nate broke off for a moment and met Eleanor's gaze head on to see how far off he was from his goal; what he saw made his smile brighten. "You see I'm afraid it's partially my fault you're mad at her anyway - I'm the one that mixed the dates up on her calendar for the fashion show."

"That doesn't change the fact that you missed the show for no reason. You weren't even at the atelier that day to help out or you would have known." Eleanor spoke, her voice scolding though undeniably more reasonable than it had been when she'd fired Sam weeks ago.

Sam pressed her lips together. "I do apologize Eleanor - the crazy thing is I was in the atelier for almost an hour finishing up my dress for my Debutante Ball - which is why I missed the show in the first place."

"The Junior League Gala isn't until next week. It's always the week after Thanksgiving." Eleanor exclaimed disappointment filling her voice - Sam was so talented she'd been hopeful for a moment that there might be an explanation for what had happened.

This time it was Nate who cut in. "Actually Eleanor they had to move the Gala to the first week in November this year so that Olivia Astor could preside. I was assisting in some capacity as Master of Ceremonies."

Eleanor frowned. How had she missed the Junior Gala being moved? That wasn't like her - though she didn't stay up with those events quite so much since Blair's passing. Looking between the two people in front of her she felt herself begin to give in when Sam spoke.

"Either way Eleanor - I should have been more careful, I shouldn't have missed the show. But this isn't why I came over to speak with you. I just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving before I go - I don't want to intrude..." Pausing ever so briefly Sam hesitated on whether or not to say the last thing Nate had instructed her to add. But trusting Nate had gotten her this far, why should she stop now? "I know how difficult this day must be for you."

Eleanor found her eyes tearing up - she wasn't even sure how Sam knew about the relevance of this holiday in her life but either way her words made Eleanor's heart ache. Reaching her hand out she placed in on Sam's forearm. "Why don't you stay...we can talk about the possibility of you returning to work after dinner."

"Yes mamn." Sam spoke politely before allowing Nate to lead her away.

"What did I tell you?" Nate asked with a smile as he steered Sam towards his friends, completely unaware that he was leading her into a pit of snakes.

Sam relaxed against him and smiled. "Thank you. Really."

Nate returned her smile. "There's not a lot I won't do for a friend Sam and that...was nothing." When they reached the group and he saw the looks on each of his friend's faces he realized his mistake - they were friends of Anna's of course they were mad at Sam. Damn it this was going to be a long day.

"Hey guys." He spoke looking around the group, surprised when he registered Chuck standing amongst the others. He'd seen him earlier but he hadn't been thinking about Anna at that point - now that he was it was curious that Chuck was here instead of with her when Nate knew that she'd stayed in town to spend time with Chuck. "This is my friend Sam." He added realizing to continue his charade he had to act like there was no reason any of them other than Jenny should know Sam.

Serena felt her mouth go dry as she looked at Nate. So many feelings were rushing through her at the same time. She wanted to wrap her arms around him - it had been so long since she'd seen him; but she knew that was inappropriate now, he'd turned her down. And another part of her was racked with guilt for not telling him that Anna was Blair. The selfish side of her was glad that he didn't know since Blair was the reason he felt he couldn't be with her in the first place. So instead of directing her words at Nate she gave him a quick smile before turning to Sam. "So you're Sam? I've heard a lot about you." Before Sam could speak Serena continued cuttingly. "None of it flattering."

Nate's eyes widened in surprise - as far as he knew Serena was staying away from Anna too. She'd been the one person he was hoping he could trust not to attack Sam. "Serena!" Nate spoke emphatically.

Serena rolled her eyes but didn't really back down. This girl had hurt Blair and she was still bugging about the fact that Nate had brought her as his date. "What? I'm not the one that slept with my best friend's boyfriend..."

Everyone's eyes immediately went to Serena and a few of the group couldn't help but laugh. "Serena..." Eric spoke cautioning her.

Serena pursed her lips. "Okay well fine but that was one time and with one guy. It's a little different."

Sam was actually glad everyone was laughing - even if that laughter was partially directed at her - it gave her a moment to pull herself together. She knew that Jenny and Chuck knew what she'd done but it was being discussed so casually that everyone must know. "No offense to any of you but that's between me and Anna and I'd appreciate it if it could stay that way."

Serena immediately stopped her jabs as she saw the self-respect the girl before her had - it struck a chord with Serena as much as she didn't want to admit it.

Jenny scoffed, her hold on Riley as tight as ever. "You have balls showing up here after everything you did to Eleanor. I can't believe she let you stay."

Nate saw the way Jenny was acting with Riley and picked up quickly on the power struggle so he extended his arm to wrap around Sam's waist. "I'll admit I was probably influential in that respect."

Before anyone else could talk and further complicate this already complicated mess Chuck lifted a hand. "Okay I'm cutting in before there's a cat fight - as much as I enjoy one, this isn't the place."

Eric lifted his eyebrows in slight surprise. The second Chuck had started speaking everyone had silenced. When had he become the center of their group...?

Exhaling, Chuck was almost surprised at how much attention he seemed to command - everyone was looking at him so he felt like he had to be the one to ask the question he was fairly certain everyone was thinking. "So how exactly do the two of you know each other?" He asked looking at Sam and Nate. "And what exactly is Sam doing here?"

Nate grinned trying to keep his face at least a bit bemused. "We'd seen each other around at the atelier but we officially met at the Debutante Ball a few weeks back. Then when I heard she'd had a falling out with Eleanor I offered to help."

"By bringing her here?" Eric asked questioning what was going on. It was then that he realized he was the only one that knew the dangerous game Nate was playing. Anna had told him months ago when she first joined the Fellows that she and Nate were friends, something that had been overshadowed by the sinking feeling in his gut that day that he was missing something...that Anna was Blair.

Nate shrugged keeping his cool. "Yeah, why not?"

Jenny's eyes narrowed but the silence said everything. For Nate who wasn't friends with Anna, who didn't know she was Blair, bringing Sam here wasn't a violation of the friendship code at all.

With lifted eyebrows Nate nodded. "Well that settles that."

At that everyone seemed to break up a bit into smaller conversations with Jenny quickly tugging Sam to the side, a few steps away from the group. Sam looked reluctantly back at Nate but waved him off when he tried to step in. "Hanging on to my leftovers I see." Sam said tilting her head towards Riley.

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Oh honey, he left you for me and for the record, they were both mine first." She said shifting her eyes towards Nate. "But do try not to be bitter, it's not a flattering look for you."

"I'm not WITH Nate. Not like that, not when he has feelings for..." Sam spoke trailing off and looking away. She could feel Jenny's eyes on her so she hoped that she might be able to draw her attention away from what Sam had almost said - no one was supposed to know that Nate knew Anna, much less that he had feelings for her. "Okay go ahead, let me have it." Sam spoke with a shrug. "You know you want to lay into me for something, just go ahead and do it."

Jenny almost laughed but her anger outweighed that. Sometimes Sam reminded her of herself and that brought her guard down a bit but she wouldn't let that happen today. "What do you think you're doing showing up here? I don't buy for a second that you didn't know where Nate was taking you."

"You're right, I knew that Nate was going to help me out with Eleanor he said she'd be more likely to forgive today." Sam spoke honestly. "I'm just trying to fix this mess Jen. I didn't know that any of you would be here."

Jenny exhaled feeling some of the fight leave her system. "Do you know why she's more lenient today?" When Sam shook her head Jenny continued. "Because Thanksgiving was Blair's Holiday, her very favorite. Which is why all of us are here and why Anna isn't."

Sam nodded slowly realizing why they'd all been so upset...of course. "I'm sorry. Really I am. I wasn't trying to . . . I don't want to intrude. It wasn't my intention."

Exhaling Jenny shook her head. "Know your place Sam. Don't make me remind you again."

Sam pursed her lips trying not to say anything...today clearly wasn't the day to get into it with Jenny. Not to mention there were so many things she was hiding that she could hardly keep them all straight. At this point she turned back to the group only to notice that Nate was deep in conversation with Serena. For a few moments Sam didn't know what to do - Nate was her only ally here - but it was as she thought this that she felt a hand on her elbow.

Turning she saw Eric, someone she'd only met a couple of times. She was about to say something but he beat her to it. "What do you say, you and I have a little talk? I think there are a few things we need to get on the table."

Nodding slowly Sam followed him further away from the group - instantly curious yet somehow trusting even though she had no reason to.

Nate relaxed as he watched Eric pull Sam away from the potentially hostile group. He needed just a few minutes with Serena so he was glad that Sam wasn't alone with the Sharks. Eric might not like her but he was never hostile.

Serena rolled her eyes. "Worried about your date? For someone trying to stay away from Anna you don't seem to have a problem getting to know her friends."

Nate exhaled. "She's not my date Serena, she's just a friend." He could see Serena was still annoyed but there was nothing he could do to change that and he had better things to talk to her about. "I thought you were going to Greece?"

Surprised, Serena's eyes widened she hadn't expected that and yet she knew she should have, Nate had always treated Trinity like she was his own. "They're spending Thanksgiving with Trisha's family in San Francisco - I'm flying out to see her tomorrow."

Nate nodded. Trisha was Serena's stepmom - a stepmom she somehow didn't hate, probably because she'd been so great to Trinity. "Can I come?"

"Nate...I'm not sure that's a good idea." Serena spoke hesitant. Even as she saw the hurt on his face she couldn't relent, not when she'd gotten so attached to him last time. She wasn't over how she felt yet - she couldn't risk getting hurt like that again.

"What's not a good idea?" Chuck asked sauntering up to the conversation.

Nate pressed his lips together debating what he wanted to say before deciding to go with the truth. "Serena is going to see Trinity tomorrow in San Fran and she doesn't think it's a good idea for me to go."

Chuck lifted his brows than looked over at Serena. "Can I go?"

Serena burst out laughing. "Chuck … no, just no."

"Why not?" Chuck asked frowning.

"Because I said so!" Serena said before stomping off to join a different conversation. She couldn't see Eric so instead she walked over to Dan and Jenny - at least then she'd be safe from questions about Trinity.

As Serena left Chuck turned towards Nate and shook his head. "So you really didn't know what you were doing by bringing her here?"

"I really didn't." Nate spoke, only partially lying. He knew of course that Anna and Sam were fighting but what he hadn't known was how personally the rest of them seemed to have taken it.

Chuck nodded seeming to accept his response. "So you're sleeping with her?"

Nate laughed shaking his head. "We hooked up once but no, I'm not sleeping with her. I have a thing for someone else and she knows that."

"A thing?" Chuck asked, a smirk on his face. "And who's the lucky lady."

Nate nodded. "Just some girl I have class with. She doesn't like me like that though."

Chuck's brow furrowed as he slung an arm around Nate's shoulders. "She doesn't know what she's missing. But I'm sure you'll get her soon enough - who can resist the charms of Nate Archibald?"

Nate's lips pressed together. If only that were the truth; but he had a feeling that Anna wasn't changing her decision anytime soon. Chuck's words made him think once more of what exactly Chuck was doing spending Thanksgiving with the Waldorf's rather than with Anna and he found the words slipping from his lips before he had a chance to stop them. "I was surprised to see you here."

"What?" Chuck asked taken aback - not exactly something he was used to with Nate.

Nate shrugged. "I assumed you'd spend Thanksgiving with Anna, since you obviously couldn't bring her, I was thinking you guys had gotten pretty serious. Or did she go home for Thanksgiving?" Nate added, covering his ass. Knowing who Anna is can be explained by the Fellows but it wouldn't make sense for him to know her comings and goings quite that intricately. As much as his plotting abilities had matured he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep up with all of this.

Chuck couldn't help but frown. The words brought another punch of guilt to his gut, guilt for not telling Nate, guilt for not telling the Waldorf's, and guilt for leaving Blair today in the first place. It surprised him that Nate was the first to mention it out of everyone here but he supposed that only Nate was removed enough from Anna to think about it - not to mention everything that Nate didn't know. "I feel bad about it." He spoke his voice low. "I wanted to spend today with her but I thought it would really hurt Eleanor and Harold if I didn't show. It's only one Holiday right?"

Nate could see how guilty Chuck felt but didn't feel bad for mentioning it. Anna didn't deserve to be alone on Thanksgiving. "I guess."

Chuck could see that Nate disagreed with his decision but he knew he'd done what he'd had to do. "If you'll excuse me I need to ask Serena something before we start dinner."

Nate nodded but he couldn't wipe the frown from his face. It was then that he registered what Sam had said earlier - both Cassie and Lina had gone home and since Sam and Chuck were both here that meant that Anna was completely alone. That wasn't fair. Pausing he looked to his friends then over at the adults before glancing at the door. She shouldn't be alone...not on Thanksgiving.

Eric watched Serena and then Chuck walk away from Nate - his curiosity about that situation continuing to grow. Serena had a secret and he'd been content to let her have it but now he was starting to wonder. Turning back to Sam he sighed. "All right spill, how much do you know?"

Sam tilted her head curiously. "How much do I know about what?" This was a dangerous game - she could see that immediately. Eric had already figured out that she knew more than she was saying.

Eric shook his head. "Don't play dumb Sam, I'm really not in the mood for it today - I'm confused enough as it is." When she still didn't say anything he shrugged. "Fine - I'll tell you what I think you know and we will go from there."

Sam's eyes widened but she forced forward a smirk - if Eric was just baiting her she'd know soon, otherwise it would be useful to know just what she was dealing with.

"Let's start with the fact that you know that Blair's presumed dead. Something I think has been kept rather quiet. Which means you probably knew what you were walking into here today." Eric started.

"I didn't know the significance of Thanksgiving." Sam started but Eric lifted his hand.

Nodding Eric continued. "You might not have known about Thanksgiving that's true, but you worked with Eleanor, you did know about Blair. And you know that Nate's friends with Anna - something no one else here is aware of."

Sam laughed slowly. Eric was shrewd she'd give him that. "You aren't supposed to know that."

Eric couldn't help but smile - Sam was charismatic he could see why she made friends so easily. "I know a lot of things I'm not supposed to know."

"Like..." Sam asked leadingly, smiling now.

Eric just shook his head. "Yeah...I don't trust you so that's not going to happen."

Sam was still laughing as she shook her head. "If you knew about Nate, why didn't you tell? I'm assuming Anna told you."

"Yeah. Anna doesn't realize who he is but that's his problem and what Chuck does to him when he finds out...I want no part of." Eric spoke absolving himself. "I like to know things but I don't get involved unless I have to."

Sam nodded slowly. "I can respect that and honestly you now know everything I know and I would guess you know a lot more about me than I'm aware of." Eric laughed but Sam placed a hand on his arm to still him. "I'm not a great person Eric, I'm selfish and narcissistic and I screw up a lot; but I'm not a bad person or at least I don't want to be."

Eric looked at her carefully for a moment considering everything he knew that she'd done before he spoke. "I don't think you're a bad person...misguided maybe, but not bad."

"Thanks." Sam spoke quietly before noticing that the parents were walking into the dinning room. "I think we're about to start dinner."

Eric nodded speaking as he turned back towards where he saw Chuck and Serena standing. "I just have to talk to Serena for a second but I'll be right there."

Walking over he pulled the two of them to the side. "So interesting afternoon so far."

"Tell me about it." Chuck said with a shake of his head. "I really just wish I were with Anna instead. Nate of all people made me feel guilty about leaving her alone today."

Serena scoffed. "Oh please at least she'll talk to you. I keep trying to get her to do anything with me and she won't do it. I've been in town from Thursday-Sunday every weekend since I found out but she's still not caving."

Chuck ran a hand over his head lowering his voice to ensure no one heard them. "You have to remember that while she's Blair - she's Anna too. Asking her to go out drinking with someone who's practically a stranger to her isn't her thing. Try coffee or shopping."

Eric shook his head slowly. "And I have the opposite problem. She's tried to hang out with me three times since I found out but I don't even know how to act around her anymore."

Chuck nodded. "She's noticed but I can't say I blame you. Sometimes I feel myself staring at her. And sometimes I can see Blair inside her. Part of the time she's so much herself that I almost slip, others that couldn't be further from the truth. And as hard as all of that is - it physically hurts me not to be around her."

Eric sighed loudly. "Something I'm sure isn't made better by being here around all of her closest friends and not being able to tell them the truth."

Serena exhaled. "I'm barely holding it together. I thought it was just me."

"It's not just you." Chuck spoke taking a deep breath and pausing before continuing. "Are we sure we're doing the right thing by not telling. I know that Blair can't know but what about her parents?"

Eric shook his head. "Chuck we talked about this, telling them will make everything more complicated than it already is. It's the same with Nate."

"It's killing me to keep Harold in the dark." Chuck spoke, the words causing yet another tightening in his gut. "Eleanor not so much but I feel like we can trust Harold."

Serena frowned slightly. "You're still mad about the way she handled everything aren't you."

"I'll never forgive her." Chuck spoke his voice dangerously low. "But Harold is different, Harold stood by me the whole time I looked for her."

Eric swallowed knowing that his next words were going to be even harder for Chuck to hear than they were for him to say. "He'd want to see her Chuck. I trust Harold but I don't trust that he is strong enough to stay away from her. If we tell even Harold everything unravels."

* * *

**Looks like the Waldorf Thanksgiving is in full swing again this year with almost all of our Upper East Side notables present with one notable absence. Looks like A didn't get an invite - though who could be surprised all things considered. Sorry A - looks like you'll be spending Thanksgiving alone, better luck next year.**

**xoxo  
****Gossip Girl**

Anna rolled her eyes as she read the Gossip Girl blast aimed at her before turning the television off in frustration. TV had never been her thing but if she saw another channel showing Charlie Fucking Brown she was going to throw the remote control. She wasn't entirely sure what had gotten into her, normally she was so chill but today was clearly not one of those days.

Groaning, she realized that she was now frustrated with herself as well because of course she was lying to herself about not knowing what was wrong with her. Thanksgiving wasn't just Blair's favorite holiday, it was her favorite too. And she was spending it alone. Or course she'd told Chuck she understood but really, what was she going to say? She was much less than enthused about the whole thing then she'd allowed him to believe.

Lying there on her bed she found herself wishing more than anything she'd gone home like Cassie and Lina had but she'd stayed here thinking that she'd be spending Thanksgiving with Chuck. She'd had no idea that he would have other plans.

She couldn't handle this, she had to get out of this mood. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so completely shitty about herself and her life. Why was she even mad at Chuck? It didn't make any sense. Looking over at the table she saw the pumpkin pie she'd bought on her way home from Chuck's this morning. She hadn't eaten much of anything yet and she needed a bit of Thanksgiving tradition at the moment.

Walking over to the counter, she surprised herself by grabbing a fork rather than a knife. Sticking the fork in the pie all she could think about as she dug out a bite was how very alone she felt. All the people she knew in the entire city either weren't talking to her, she wasn't talking to them, they were at the Waldorf's, or they had gone home. And none of them had made any sort of effort to include her in their plans.

Sticking the fork back in the pie she felt a shiver of unabashed familiarity. How was that possible? She loved Thanksgiving, how could she ever associate it with this feeling of abject loneliness. Taking another large bite of the pie she felt herself begin to shake. What on earth was her problem? She'd never felt this way before.

It was as she brought the bite of pie, while she was staring into the overlarge clump right in front of her face that it happened. No images this time only sensations, emotions and voices.

"_Well I was going to wait until after dinner but I guess now is as good a time as any. Did you call Daddy and tell him I didn't want to see him this Thanksgiving?" Her words were filled with righteous indignation._

"_Of course not, what a ridiculous accusation." _

"_So you didn't tell him that I was so angry at him for leaving that I didn't even want to talk to him today." She spoke, voice dripping with her anger. When her mother sighed she practically hissed. "You had no right to uninvite him." _

"_When are you going to get it through your head. He left us." _

"_He didn't leave us, he left you." She snapped. _

"_That's enough. If you want to take this up with me, you can do it later after our guests leave. Right now you either eat or you leave the table."_

"_I told you I'm not hungry." Though of course she could feel the rumblings of such in her stomach, she felt much too alone for that._

"_Or maybe desert will change your mind." _

"_Where's Daddy's pie? I don't see his pumpkin pie?" She could hear the condescension in her mother's voice, matched by the disbelief in her own. How could this be happening? How could everything be so awful?_

"Well there were so many delicious choices coming from the caterer, we just sent that one down to the doorman. It is thanksgiving after all. Now choose one of those amazing deserts."

_She felt her fury bubbling over, combined with her loneliness, in the past year she'd lost everything that was important to her, her best friend, her boyfriend, her father, she had nothing left. And she tried to fill that emptiness with the desert she'd been forced to select. Then the only thing to do was to let it all out. _

_It was afterwards that she shakily reached for the phone. There was only one number she could think to call. He answered on the second ring. _

"_You are pretty much the last person I expected to hear from today. Isn't your father in town?" He asked, a smile clear in his voice. He was happy to hear from her, though he'd never admit it aloud._

_She couldn't even manage a smile in return, in fact she could barely form words. "Mom uninvited him, she told him that I couldn't bear to see him after he left me. And...she sent away Daddy's pie." _

_She could hear him swallow on the other end of the line, she knew that he knew this was bad. She knew she sounded broken, and she was too strong to sound broken. "Are you okay?" He asked, voice soft and kind like he only ever was with her. _

"_No." She said through a choked sob. "I'm sick." She wasn't sure how much he knew, or if he'd guess. "I need you." _

"_Shit, my father and I are in the Chalet in the Alps with clients." The regret clear in his voice. "I can get on a plane but it will be tomorrow at the earliest." Seeming to think things over, he thought about something. "What about S? Where is she?" _

_She exhaled, shaking with her tears. "We got in a fight, about you actually. She saw us together." _

_He couldn't help but snort back his laughter. "Which time?" He thought she might have cracked a smile but he knew that wasn't what she needed, she needed someone to be there for her. "Whatever happened, call her, she's your best friend." _

"_But…" She started but he interrupted her. _

"_No buts...and if you still need me, I'll be on the next flight out of here." He spoke before hesitating. _

"_Okay." She spoke softly. "Thank you...for you know, caring." _

Anna's head snapped backwards, her fork dropping down into the mostly full pie tin. Her head was already throbbing as she realized she'd just remembered something else. What scared her the most was that it was triggered by feelings of such deep loneliness that she'd been driven to...to do...to make herself sick. She'd felt every single emotion throughout the flash even if she hadn't actually seen anything. Who knows what would have happened to her if it wasn't for "him," who she was certain was the same him as always.

Maybe that's why today had been so hard. Clearly, her former life had not had pleasant Thanksgiving memories. They seemed to be filled with aching loneliness, the same loneliness that had completely ambushed her today. And the way she'd been eating that pie...she was starting to wander if she wanted to remember at all if her former life was filled with such pain.

Pushing away the pie, she was walking back towards her bed when she heard a knock on the door. Surprised she literally couldn't think who it could possibly be. Maybe Chuck had changed his mind? She thought, daring for just a moment to hope. Flinging open the door, a surprised smile flushed her features as she saw one of the last people she expected to see. "What are you doing here?"

* * *

"Jenny can you pass the potatoes?" Sam asked only after she realized that it was her only option.

Jenny on the other hand was deeply engaged in conversation with Riley about a movie they'd just gone to see. So engaged that Jenny didn't hear a word that was said even if her sideways glares said otherwise.

"Ugh...why is she making this so difficult." Sam muttered under her breath.

Eric laughed lowly as he watched Sam become frustrated. "Because she can. Jenny's fiercely loyal and as you can see she doesn't back down."

Sam shook her head. "I can't fault her for that but it's Thanksgiving!" Pausing briefly she tossed an idea around her head about to dismiss it when she thought that it might be worth a try. "Do you think if I acted jealous of her 'relationship' with Riley that she'd tone down the rest of it?"

"It's worth a try." Eric said, still laughing slightly as he turned his attention to the other side of the table where it appeared that Eleanor was giving some big speech about Blair...he knew from experience it was important to keep an eye on Chuck during these - the first year he'd stormed out and they didn't see him for days afterwards.

"I'm so glad to have so many of you with us here today on what was Blair's favorite Holiday. It was always our happiest time." Eleanor used a handkerchief to wipe at an errant tear as she continued speaking - not noticing the mixture of eyerolls and sighs throughout the table - this speech got more grandiose every year and Chuck wasn't the only one who thought Eleanor was full of crap.

Pushing forth a smile Eleanor continued. "Those of you here were like family to her and I know how much it would have meant to her to know you all still cared so much. She was taken from us two years ago but I have to believe she's sitting in heaven watching us all today. So I give thanks to that this day - that our loss has banded us together just as Blair would have wanted."

Chuck could feel the bile rising in his stomach as Eleanor droned on. It was a load of horseshit and everyone there knew it. He felt his disgust becoming so great that he had to look away - he couldn't handle the sight of Eleanor, not when she got like this. How dare she act like she'd ever been a good mother to Blair?

Every Thanksgiving had ended in disaster - he still remembered how he felt the Thanksgiving that Blair had called him when they'd first gotten together, like his whole world was falling apart. She'd hurt herself because of the witch that called herself a mother. He'd never been so scared in his entire life as he had been at that moment - something that had shocked him. It was when he realized just how much he cared about her, how much he'd always cared about her. Shuddering at the memory he pushed it aside, thankful that Eleanor had finally finished talking.

Serena shook her head at the display Eleanor had put on. At least Chuck had kept himself in check this year - though he didn't appear any less angry than usual.

Turning her attention to one of the other melodramas at the table she watched with raised eyebrows as Rufus and Lily began to argue again. When she noted Anna's name coming up a couple of times she shot Dan a glare to shut his father up before the secret they were all keeping in varying degrees was spilled. Since when did Rufus know about Anna anyway?

Exhaling as Dan handled it she knew she needed something to take her mind off what was going on at either end of the table so she decided to focus on the only thing she could find - the drama between Sam, Jenny, and apparently Riley. As her focus switched Serena had to fight to keep back her laughter.

It appeared that Jenny was refusing to acknowledge Sam's presence unless it was with a dig or obvious flaunting of her relationship with Riley. Sam on the other hand seemed to have changed tactics in the past few minutes - instead of acting unaffected by Jenny's antics Sam was doing the opposite - letting Jenny think she was getting to her.

Laughing Serena took the potatoes which she'd noticed Sam had yet to receive and passed them. "If you think doing battle with Jenny's difficult you should see what it was like with Blair."

Sam laughed as she accepted the potatoes. "So I've heard. Though not to knock Jenny's style but honestly she's sloppy and a bit reckless. From what I've heard about Blair I can't imagine that ever being the case."

Serena found herself smiling at the thought of Blair's many plots. "That's true. The only thing that ever made Blair reckless was Chuck."

Sam exhaled. "I've been hearing that a lot lately." Sam paused for a moment thinking carefully about what might happen if she said what she wanted to say and it turned out Serena wasn't to be trusted. Deciding the knowledge was more important than whatever the consequences would be she took a deep breath and spoke. "Serena I'm worried about Anna and Chuck."

Serena's eyes widened - she had not expected that at all. But she was too shocked to consider interrupting - not to mention curious - so she let Sam talk.

Mistaking Serena's surprise at the question for surprise that she cared about Anna - Sam clarified. "I know from everything you've heard about me you'd think I didn't care about her; but I do. I screw up a lot - it's not something I've ever been able to get a handle on. But I love my friends." Seeing Serena give her a nod, Sam kept going, a little more relaxed. "It's just all I hear is about the insane connection between Chuck and Blair and I'm absolutely terrified for her that he's never going to get over that. I can see how quickly she's come to care for him - she loves him - and I think losing him would tear her apart. So I'm asking you - Blair's best friend to Anna's former best friend - should I be worried."

Swallowing Serena felt herself warm to Sam - she couldn't help it because there was something about Sam that was very similar to how Serena used to be. Letting a small smile ease onto her lips she shook her head slowly. "You don't have to worry. Chuck's in love with her too, 100%."

She couldn't tell Sam the whole truth but she could reassure her and friend to friend she knew what that type of reassurance meant. Strangely enough Sam had reassured her today as well - she wasn't an idiot she recognized parts of herself in Sam and something about their friendship proved to Serena that Blair was inside of Anna somewhere - maybe even closer than they'd all imagined.

Letting out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding Sam smiled the most genuine smile she'd had all day. "Thank you. Really." She spoke sincerely.

Chuck shook his head as his eyes wandered around the table. There was drama no matter where he looked and Eleanor seemed to have started up again. He was glad he was sitting as far as possible from the worst of it with Rufus and Lily at one end and Eleanor at the other.

Harold turned his head to face Chuck - glad to have a moment to speak with him while everyone's attentions were elsewhere. He gave him a half smile before speaking quietly in reference to his ex-wife's antics. "Twisted perspective isn't it?"

Chuck nodded, feeling his disgust replaced by guilt at what he was doing to Harold by keeping the truth from him. "It makes me sick."

"Me too." Harold spoke quietly. "Blair's death is not a soapbox on which Eleanor should stand to make her proclamations."

Chuck scoffed because he knew that on this he and Harold agreed. "I couldn't have said it better. She didn't even try." There were cases in which losing a child might bring people closer together and in many respects losing Blair had brought Chuck and Harold closer - but it had shredded both of their relationships with Eleanor.

Harold exhaled. "Sometimes I wish I had tried harder, done more; even if nothing would be different. I wouldn't have this feeling of regret that I let go too soon."

Chuck simply shook his head, overwhelmed at the guilt he was feeling. It was clear that Harold was still suffering and Chuck was prolonging this terrible gut wrenching pain for him, a pain he could take away.

Harold could see that Chuck was becoming upset so he wanted to change the subject to something that wouldn't dampen the mood following Eleanor's spectacle. "So tell me about the girl? Who is she? How did you meet?"

Chuck felt himself smiling as the first time he met Anna flashed through his mind, pulling countless other memories effortlessly in its wake. For that one moment he felt the guilt and the sadness dissipate because it reminded him of why he was doing this. He wasn't keeping secrets from those that loved Blair selfishly - he was doing it to protect her.

"You love her." Harold stated matter-of-factly.

Chuck's head snapped upwards in surprise. He hadn't realized that he'd been so lost in his thoughts until Harold spoke. At his words Chuck couldn't help but keep smiling - he would always love Blair. "I do."

Harold smiled almost in relief, he'd been so worried for so long that Chuck would never move past what had happened and it wasn't fair, he was just a kid. "I'm really happy for you." When Chuck returned his smile Harold found himself speaking once more, to lighten the somewhat serious mood. "So tell me, how's business?"

"Business is good." Chuck said with a nod. "The recovery from my absence has been difficult but things are beginning to finally come together again. I'm buying a new hotel." Harold's eyebrows lifted and Chuck smirked. "The big one on 63rd and Broadway."

Harold nodded. "I know it. This is a huge deal Chuck, your first major acquisition isn't it?"

Chuck nodded slowly. "I've bought some clubs and smaller businesses but nothing like this, nothing so completely mine. I just have to wait until it all clears through the bank, which might be a bit of a headache all things considered."

"If you need a backer, either financially or legally, you have my full support." Harold spoke his tone becoming serious so that Chuck would see that he stood behind his offer.

Chuck shook his head, completely thrown off guard. "I couldn't accept that Harold...It's too much."

Harold smiled sadly. "You have to know you're like a son to me; we all know that's where you and Blair were headed eventually. I want to be there to support you, it's what Blair would want."

The overwhelming waves of guilt at Harold's words almost had Chuck collapsing inside himself. He'd never felt it so strongly before. This man before him was a man that desperately missed his daughter. How could he continue lying to him? Forcing the words that were begging to spill from his lips back he simply nodded, realizing that it would make Harold happy to be able to help and at very least Chuck owed him that. "Okay."

* * *

"What are you doing here?" She asked brightly, not hiding how happy she was to see him. "I thought you had familial obligations."

Nate smiled his trillion megawatt smile at the look on her face. He'd known she'd be happy to see him, that she wouldn't want to spend Thanksgiving alone; but the look on her face told him more than that, it told him that on top of that she was just glad to spend time with him. "I got out of it."

Anna tried not to simply beam up at Nate but it was difficult controlling her smile. She couldn't quite believe how happy she was to see him. "But how did you know I'd be here?"

Grinning sheepishly, Nate did his best to act a bit embarrassed. He of course had found out that she'd been left alone on Thanksgiving from Chuck but he'd known he couldn't say that so he'd concocted a slightly more stalkerish explanation. "I might have noticed you updating pictures on facebook. So I figured you were home and thought I'd surprise you."

"Best surprise ever." Anna spoke sincerely as she wrapped Nate in a huge hug. It was obvious that he wanted to spend time with her and whether he was excited about whatever commitment he'd had today or not, he'd broken that for her. She felt only the slightest twinge of pain at the knowledge that Chuck had not done the same.

Nate grinned broadly as he looked down at her, arms still wrapped around her shoulders. To see her smile like that - he was pretty sure he'd do anything. "So what do you feel like doing? Have you had dinner?"

Anna shook her head and smiled up at Nate, feeling a golden warmth work it's way through her at the adoring look in his eyes. "No, I haven't. Did you?"

Nate shook his head as well, pulling back from their long embrace. "No I ducked out before food was served. Stand here for a moment, I need to make a phone call."

Anna nodded and took a step back, a smile still gracing her features as she watched Nate take out his phone and quickly dial a number.

"Hello Danielle, I'd like to speak to Jean-George, tell him it's Nate Archibald." Nate shook Anna yet another grin, this one a bit mischievous, before turning his attention back to his phone call. "Jean-George, Happy Thanksgiving! So I know this is super late notice but I'm in a bit of a bind and I was hoping you'd be able to help me out."

Looking at Anna he winked making her laugh to which he responded with a playful finger to his lip before continuing his conversation. "You see it's my friend's favorite Holiday and she wasn't able to spend it with family so I was hoping to give her a really great Thanksgiving meal. It would mean a lot to me and of course neither my grandfather nor I would forget it. Yes one hour is perfect." Nate spoke grinning as he turned back to Anna.

Anna shook her head in complete awe as she listened to Nate give the address of her dorm room to a world famous chef who was apparently going to be preparing them Thanksgiving dinner. "How did you?" She asked half in awe as Nate hung up the phone and stepped towards her, grinning proudly.

Nate couldn't keep the smile off his face. "Truthfully I hate throwing my family name around but sometimes grandfather has his uses."

Anna laughed aloud before pulling Nate over to the television set. "Come on, I was just about to watch a movie."

"Ooooh what are we watching?" Nate asked curiously as he allowed her to drag him over to her twin bed.

Anna sat down quickly arranging the pillows for adequate TV watching before clicking on the DVD player with the remote and shooting an almost anxious smile towards Nate.

"Oh no what am I in for?" Nate asked, faking trepidation. He'd watch whatever she wanted him to, all he cared about was spending some time with her.

Biting her lip Anna gave a slight flutter of her lashes. "If you hate it we'll watch something else." Pressing play she watched as the opening credits of Breakfast at Tiffany's began. "So I just saw it for the first time a few months ago and I can't help it I'm obsessed." She started talking quickly before turning to look at Nate pausing when she did. "Are you okay?"

Forcing himself to swallow Nate broke his gaze with the television and looked back towards Anna. This was the last thing he'd expected. Breakfast at Tiffany's had been Blair's favorite movie and he had a pretty good gut instinct that he knew exactly who'd introduced her to it. But there was a big part of him that didn't hate the idea of watching it with her at all. Breakfast at Tiffany's fit perfectly with the feeling he'd had since he'd gotten here that something about being with Anna was like filling a void he'd been missing for the past few years - it was like coming home. "Yeah I'm just fine, it's just been awhile since I've seen Breakfast at Tiffany's is all."

Smiling up at Nate, Anna leaned back, fitting herself against his side. "Good."

* * *

Eric looked around the table at those who'd stayed for desert. Things were much more informal now - thankfully Lily and Rufus had left along with some of the other adults, he was surprised that Chuck was still there, but he kept thinking that there was someone else missing. That's when his eyes landed on a smiling Sam talking with Eleanor, which is when he realized that the missing person was Nate.

Walking towards Sam he intercepted her as she finished speaking with Eleanor and linked his arm with hers. "I'm assuming by the smile on your face that things are okay with you and Eleanor once more."

Sam smiled at the younger boy. "Thankfully, yes. Nate was totally right about everything."

Eric nodded. "When it comes to Eleanor, Nate usually has a pretty good read on things."

Sam laughed. "You know that's weird to me. Eleanor and Nate seem so close, while Chuck seems like he's like that with Harold. It doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. Chuck and Eleanor seem to hate each other."

Eric laughed as well. "I think you're more observant than you've been given credit for. Nate was Eleanor's pick for Blair; they were together for a long time too. But I think Harold was always behind Chuck's bid for Blair's heart. He seemed to realize that Chuck always saw Blair and loved her for who she was, not who other people wanted her to be." Eric realized he trailed off and shook himself out of it before adding. "Besides after the accident, Chuck and Eleanor really had it out. Chuck's never forgiven her. But even before then Chuck never had that same connection with Eleanor that Nate did."

"That sounds complex." Sam spoke with a shake of her head. "But it makes a lot of things make more sense."

Eric nodded. "The more you find out, the more you'll feel like you understand. But trust me when I say that understanding doesn't make anything less complicated." Sam laughed so Eric continued on with the real reason he'd sought her out in the first place. "Speaking of Nate, do you happen to know where he's disappeared to?"

Sam tilted her head. "He left before dinner. He texted me something about a friend needing him."

Eric laughed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Well if that friend is who I think it probably is, his friendship with Anna isn't going to be secret for much longer."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked confused and instantly intrigued. Eric really did seem to notice everything.

Eric tilted his head towards Chuck who was saying goodbye to Harold and taking what looked like a pumpkin pie. "Because Chuck's going to Anna's and I'd bet my inheritance that Nate went there too."

"Ohh." Sam replied surprised. At the same time she realized that Eric was likely right. Nate and Anna were close enough that he wouldn't want Anna to be alone on Thanksgiving. "Uh oh, that's not ending well."

Eric shook his head. "Probably not" Then with a pointed look at Sam he added. "But it's not our fight."

Inhaling deeply Sam realized that this was one of those times she had a choice of paths, one put her right in the middle of the drama the other put her on the sidelines. Making her choice Sam smiled at Eric. "This staying out of it thing is fun isn't it?"

"Most definitely." Eric said with a smile just as Chuck turned toward him and winked.

Chuck didn't bother saying goodbye to anyone but Eric. He missed Blair and felt guilty for spending the day away from her and the day itself had been kind of miserable as a whole. All he wanted was to show up early and surprise her with her favorite pumpkin pie.

Slipping one from the kitchen - with Harold's permission of course - he made his way towards the exit. When he noticed that Eric seemed to be looking at him, watching him closely even, he shot him a quick wink which would be more than enough to confirm where he was headed.

Stepping into the elevator, Chuck couldn't wipe the smile off his face because he knew the second he saw Blair the whole day would have been worth it.

* * *

"Oh my God, I'm so beyond full." Anna said holding her stomach. She felt very near entering a food coma.

Nate found himself clutching his stomach as well. "Agreed, perhaps we should have stopped after one plate of food."

Anna laughed as she washed the dishes that Nate was passing her. "It was just so good. That probably ruined all Thanksgiving dinners for me in the future."

Nate passed her another plate still smiling. "Well I'm glad it didn't disappoint."

"Neither did the company." Anna spoke, earning a laugh from Nate. Pausing for a moment, she sat down the dish she was working on and turned to face Nate, a serious look on her face. "I'm being serious. I'm really glad you came."

Nate felt a bit of a blush rise to his cheeks but he tried to shake it off. "It was nothing. I was more than happy to spend Thanksgiving with you. In fact you're the only person I can think of wanting to spend it with."

Offering Nate a small smile she took a step closer. "You know honestly I wasn't in a great place when you got here earlier. I thought that I was going to be spending Thanksgiving with my boyfriend but he had a prior commitment that I didn't know about. If I'd known I would have gone back to Texas and spent it with my family."

Frowning Nate realized for the first time that Anna had been really upset by the fact that Chuck had ditched her for Thanksgiving. He'd thought that she would probably be lonely and maybe a little sad but he could see from the look in her eyes that for whatever reason she'd been more than that. "You were really disappointed weren't you?"

Anna nodded slowly, swallowing the tightness building in her throat. "It's just he's practically asked me to move in with him but he didn't even think to ask me about Thanksgiving. And to top it off he's at this old girlfriend's house because it's tradition."

Nate knew what he should say next, what the conversation begged him to say but he didn't think he could throw Chuck under the bus like that. He couldn't stand here and pretend like he didn't know who the girlfriend she was referencing was, not when he knew more than Anna dreamed he did - to top it off he knew that she had no clue Blair was dead. Standing quietly he hoped that she'd say more, letting him off the hook.

Anna shrugged as though she didn't care though at this point she knew they both realized that she did. "You know the girlfriend wasn't even there, it's all such a weird situation. She ran off years ago but they all act like she's dead or something. The creepy thing is that I look eerily like her. Which was his reasoning for not taking me."

"I'm sorry." Nate spoke sincerely knowing there wasn't much else he could say without lying to her and that wasn't something he wanted to do.

Giving Nate a small half smile Anna shrugged lightly once more. "It's not your fault obviously. And the thing is I don't really think it's his fault either. I'm not even mad at him, it's just I don't think I've ever felt so lonely." Glancing up at Nate she could see the frown etched on his features and continued. "I think I have a fear of being abandoned and I'm not even sure where it came from, it's just there."

Reaching out carefully, Nate took her hand in his and held it for a quiet moment before speaking. "I'll never abandon you. I promise, I'll always be here for you no matter what."

Smiling up at Nate, Anna squeezed his hand in hers. She knew he was being serious and she couldn't even begin to describe to him what that meant to her. The moment felt so heavy that she wasn't sure how to shake it but she didn't want to ruin their day, so instead she did the first thing she could think of and swung the sink squirter that was still in her other hand from doing dishes up and squirted Nate in the chest.

Gasping Nate jumped back in surprise looking down at his now soaked shirt, then over at Anna. "Oh it's so on." He spoke before rushing forwards and making a grab for the squirter.

Laughing Anna tried to run knowing that Nate had the squirter and the upper hand but his arm had snaked it's way around her waist. She knew she was caught so she turned into it allowing the water to wash over her for only a moment before forcing his hand back towards his chest.

Nate found himself laughing as well, each of them soaking each other even as they slipped on the mini-kitchen tile and fell onto the floor. Looking up at Anna from his spot on the ground he couldn't help but be reminded of another Thanksgiving that had ended not unlike this one years ago between him Blair and Serena. Shaking the memory, he found himself once more enchanted by the laugher spilling from Anna as she reached up grasping the squirter and hitting him again.

* * *

Knocking on Anna's door, Chuck couldn't help but smile. After the day he'd had he couldn't wait to see her. He'd even managed to get away a little bit early bringing with him one of Harold's pumpkin pies, they were always Blair's favorite.

Anna found herself rubbing her eyes as she made her way to the door. After Nate had left she'd toweled off before crawling in bed and falling asleep. Too much turkey probably. She'd totally forgotten that Chuck was going to come by. "Hey." She said softly as she opened the door.

Chuck beamed down at her, she was such a sight for sore eyes. "Hey there!" He spoke excitedly, leaning in to place a quick kiss on her lips. "I come bearing pie and tickets to the Nutcracker at the New York Ballet for 8pm."

"Oh, wow." Anna spoke doing her best to sound excited when all she wanted to do was crawl back in bed, even though it was only 7pm. And the last thing she wanted right now was pumpkin pie.

Chuck felt his face fall. "And you're exhausted."

Anna took a step backwards motioning him in. "No, it's fine, let me just have ten minutes to throw on a dress and I'll be ready. You can set the pie on the counter."

Chuck looked around surprised at the state of her dorm room. There were catered trays everywhere, it looked like she'd consumed a whole Thanksgiving meal by herself. "I thought you said that Cassie went home." He called out bemused.

Anna stuck her head back out and nodded. "She did, why'd you ask?"

Chuck looked closely at Anna, she looked lovely wearing a black cocktail dress and twisting her hair up into a chignon; but she had light circles under her dimmer than usual eyes. She was exhausted. What had she been up too? "It's just that's a lot of food for one person and your kitchen floor is a bit...wet."

Immediately, Anna felt a peal of laughter burst from her. "Oh, yeah I didn't even come close. My friend Nate came over and we ordered out. Wow can he eat."

"Nate?" Chuck asked, suddenly frozen in shock. There was no way it was his Nate, Blair's Nate. Nate had been at Eleanor's hadn't he; but he wasn't there when Chuck had left, he knew that much. Shifting through his memories of the afternoon, he tried to search the periphery of every image he could bring up. He knew Nate had been there but he didn't remember seeing him when they set down for dinner, had he left? Not that it mattered, he'd been adamant, he didn't want anything to do with Anna.

Anna nodded smiling. "Yeah Nate Archibald, you probably know him he's one of the Seven. We have Econ together."

Chuck felt his entire body tighten; there was no mistaking the words she just said, Archibald, Seven, Econ; Nate had Econ with Anna that much he knew. But how had Anna not realized that this Nate was his best friend, this didn't make sense; unless Nate hadn't told her. But hadn't he mentioned Nate in front of her before. It was then that he realized the problem, he still referred to Nate as Nathaniel. She really didn't know. But Nate fucking did, there was going to be a conversation there immediately.

Nodding Chuck seemed to acquiesce. "Ah yeah, I know who you're talking about." Walking closer to her he smiled and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You're tired, we'll go another night to the Ballet, I have my own box."

Anna smiled up at Chuck relaxing into his arms. "You're welcome to spend the night but I should warn you I'm going to fall asleep in approximately 2 minutes."

Chuck laughed and gave her another quick kiss. "There are a few things I could still take care of tonight; but sleep well and I'll call you in the morning okay."

"Okay." Anna said still smiling. She was beyond grateful that Chuck had recognized that she was so tired and felt an eerie sense of déjà vu when she spoke. "Thank you...for you know, caring."

Chuck looked at her in surprise. He remembered a Thanksgiving not that long ago when Blair had said those very same words to him over the phone. For an instant he wondered if she'd remembered something or if it was just coincidence and for once he hoped it was the later. Of all the memories he wanted to give her, that was not one of them. "Of course." He said with a worried smile before turning to head out. He needed to have a conversation with Nathaniel before the situation got any more fucked up than it already was.

* * *

Chuck was doing everything he could to hold in his temper as he knocked on the door to Nate's apartment; but the whole way over here, what had started as irritation that Nate had been secretly seeing Anna had turned into full blown anger. Nate's interference only made things more complicated.

When Nate opened the door he looked at Chuck in confusion, this was unexpected. "What are you doing here man? I figured you'd be with...Oh" He finished realizing that Chuck had been to Anna's and his presence here meant he knew.

"How much longer did you think you could keep this up Nathaniel?" Chuck practically spat. "To be honest I'm surprised you lasted nearly this long. How dare you?"

"How dare I? You guys are the ones off pretending she's Blair." Nate replied, tongue sharp.

Chuck practically hissed as he contemplated how vindicating it would be in that moment to tell Nate the truth, that she was Blair. But he knew better than anyone how dangerous that could be; he'd been telling himself all day he needed to watch himself or he'd slip. The last thing he wanted was for it to get back to her and end up causing her pain.

Exhaling, Nate pushed the door open and took a step back, expecting Chuck to come in. "It wasn't that I wanted it to be a secret, I just wanted to see where my head was on the whole thing before I talked to anyone about it. But I'll admit things have gotten convoluted."

Rather than walking into the apartment, Chuck stepped only as far as the door frame. "Convoluted? You have no idea. You've been lying to her for months about who you are? How do you think she's going to feel when she knows the truth? What the hell were you thinking?" As Chuck spoke he felt his temper ebb; partially because the words he was speaking were some of his greatest fears, after all, he was lying to her too.

Nate could see that Chuck was backing down and relaxed a bit, he hated going head to head with Chuck. "You know, I only did it to try to give her someone outside of the craziness surrounding Blair. I wanted her to feel like she had at least one friend who liked her just for her and not because she looked like someone else; because I do care about Anna for Anna, not because she looks like Blair."

Momentarily he felt that familiar pang he'd been wrestling with all day - didn't Nate, like Harold, deserve to know? But he wouldn't risk it, he couldn't, there was too much on the line. So instead he relied on his anger to push him through this, drawing from his earlier feelings. "What were you even doing at her dorm room? Why did you leave Eleanor's?"

"I left because you didn't." Nate spoke, his voice growing soft. He didn't want Chuck to realize how much he'd come to care for Anna. Their rivalry over Blair had nearly torn them apart, Nate didn't want it to come to that again and it scared him that the force of his feelings had grown quite strong. "She didn't deserve to be alone on Thanksgiving Chuck."

Chuck felt his eyes begin to narrow. "You've got to be kidding me." He spat when Nate seemed to shrink under his gaze.

_No! _ Nate shouted internally at his subconscious. He would not cower before Chuck Bass, not again. Yes Anna was Chuck's girlfriend, but Blair had been his and that hadn't stopped Chuck. Drawing himself up he lifted his chin.

"You seriously think you have a chance with her?" Chuck snarled, a smirk finding its home on his lips. He'd always been able to intimidate anyone, Nate wasn't an exception to that. He wasn't losing her to Nate, not again. Nate didn't even realize what he was fighting for. "It will be me in the end, just like last time."

This time it was Nate who narrowed his gaze. "This isn't high school Chuck. And it isn't Blair; something you don't even seem to realize. I'm going to be her friend, she knows I'd like more and if she wants to be with me, it will be her choice."

"You're fucking with her head and you have no right. It's a violation of her trust Nathaniel and it's wrong." Chuck started shaking his head ready to say something cutting to end this when Nate laid an unexpected blow.

"Really, I'm fucking with her head?" Nate snipped sarcastically before allowing a certain amount of condescension to enter his voice. "You may think I don't have a chance with her, but one day she's going to get tired of being in someone else's shadow."

Chuck shook his head again, more slowly this time, almost in disbelief. Nate couldn't be right. On some level Anna had to know who really was, the idea that she was in her own shadow was just ludicrous. "You don't know what you're talking about. Anna and I have moved past that."

Nate scoffed. "You think either of you can ever move past Blair? Chuck, she's the only girl you've ever loved, that's been made abundantly clear to Anna, who - newsflash - looks exactly like her. No matter how much you talk about it, somewhere in the back of her mind Anna's always going to wonder. And then one day she'll get tired of wondering and she'll move on."

Blair wouldn't leave him, she couldn't, never again. He couldn't lose her. The panic he began to feel was almost overwhelming and he couldn't seem to control it. The thought of not having her in his life was paralyzing. "Stay away from her Nathaniel or you'll wish you had."

Nate read the look in Chuck's eyes and realized for the first time that Chuck wasn't just chastising him, he was warning him. "You're not going to tell her…" Nate spoke in disbelief. How could Chuck not see that he was good for Anna, that it was good for her to have someone that she believed wasn't connected to Blair in her life?

Chuck's eyes flashed. "If you continue to be around her; either you tell her, or I do." And with those words he turned and walked out, leaving Nate standing there completely shocked and completely bewildered as to what he should do now.

_**Thanksgiving always was a time for revelations here on the Upper East Side. And though plenty was revealed, I somehow feel that even more was kept secret. Remember kids, nothing stays secret for long - at least not with me around. **_

_**xoxo  
Gossip Girl**_

* * *

So I know there wasn't a ton of Chuck and Blair in this chapter but let's just say that the next two chapters will have plenty and that some very significant things will be put in motion. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. And Happy Thanksgiving!

Reviews are always appreciated.

xoxo - kate


	33. Who does she think she is, Katniss?

**So I've had this chapter banked for a few days to release today - I knew I'd need a GG pick-me-up after the very last episode aired and thought you might too. Not commenting on anything other than the fact that I loved it for those of you who haven't seen it yet. To answer a question that was recently asked via PM, no I have no plans to stop writing just because the show ended - as long as there are still any of you out there reading my chapters I'll keep writing them. In fact I'm thinking of making a ritual of always writing on Monday nights at 9. Anyways, sorry for boring you with another monologue onto the chapter.**

**To my reviewers: **Trosev, eckomoon, LovelyLydia, Guest, Immortalrunes, Kels, ko soul7, iWillNeverLeave, kit147, gatoryn, LitPrincess2787, CarolinaGirl21, Ggfanficfan09, and SouthernBelle88. **Thanks for always sticking with me, I know sometimes I don't make it easy but your reviews totally brighten my day. I'm sorry I haven't been as good about review replies as I used to be but I hope you all know that I still really appreciate each and every one of you. Thanks :)**

**Music Playlist this Chapter: **The Hunger Games Soundtrack, it's actually what inspired the title.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own gossip girl.

**Rated: **T because we all know I can't contain the language

Special thanks to my awesome beta **ggff-fan.**

* * *

**Chapter 33: Who does she think she is, Katniss?**

Anna's pulse was racing as she rounded the corner of the tunnels. She'd been told it was a labyrinth by Nate a few months ago but for some reason she hadn't put it together until she was inside that the labyrinth would be the tunnels. In some ways she wished she had so that she could have taken a better look at the layout but she had a feeling that some of the doors had been changed - even the walls she thought she might know didn't seem to be in the right place.

She had expected it to fall sometime this week but the kidnapping had still taken her by surprise. She'd thought that she would be collected like she'd been for all the other challenges - not grabbed from behind and chloroformed as she opened the door to her dorm after her last Friday class.

She'd awoken groggy and disoriented in what felt like an antechamber, maybe on the first floor of Pupin Hall - the long abandoned site of the Manhattan Project. Next to her were a stack of clothes, dark jeans, a black long-sleeved shirt, black boots, a water resistant jacket, a backpack, a hair tie, and a note that read "Signal using the knock when you are ready."

Before doing anything else she checked the backpack finding a knife, a dim flashlight, a full water bottle, a rope, and a pack of matches. Putting everything back in the bag she changed into her clothes quickly.

Dressed and steady on her feet, Anna walked towards what must be the passageway and lifted her fist before strongly letting the knock fall. "Knock-Knock, Knock-Knock-Knock, Knock-Knock, Knock" She was met with the response she expected. "Knock-Knock-Knock, Knock-Knock-Knock" after which the door in front of her slid open to reveal the tunnels.

She didn't recognize the Fellow standing before her - he wasn't one of the Seven that much she knew - but when he opened his mouth she couldn't help but get chills.

"You've passed the seven tests proving that you possess the values that the Fellows prize: Strength of Self, Knowledge, Resourcefulness, Ruthless Ambition, Judgment, Loyalty and Dignity. This is your final task."

Anna couldn't help but shake, his eyes were pits of black and his voice...his voice was terrifying.

"You have done exceptional to this point, but that means nothing if you do not succeed and it will not be easy. Many trials still await you and you will not be alone within the labyrinth - others will try to block your way - should you wish to succeed you will have to defeat them. You have four hours; if you do not finish by then, you fail. Good luck, your time starts now."

Anna had been running ever since. She couldn't help but feel as though she were a tribute in the Hunger Games, especially when she heard footsteps behind her, but she didn't stop going. At this point she'd gone through an obstacle course, crawled through a disgusting tunnel, run for what felt like forever, completed 2 puzzles and answered 2 riddles. The two riddles had been administered by Thomas and Mitchell - which meant she expected to have to pass through at least five more.

Stepping forwards she saw once more a gateway - she knew this marked yet another riddle so was unsurprised when Braden stepped forward wearing his traditional ceremonial ware. "I'm the beginning of eternity and the end of time, what am I?"

For a moment she froze, she'd known the answer to the first two riddles almost without having to think about it, this one was different. Realizing that nothing could be at the beginning and the end when taken literally she knew she had to think outside the box. Repeating the sentence in her head she smiled when she landed on the answer. "The letter e" She replied quickly, already readying herself to start running again as soon as Braden nodded. "Correct, you may continue."

Taking off, Anna started running quickly realizing that she was suddenly running in water. When the water was up to her ankles she could see that there was some kind of stairway leading her up over the deepening water. Coming to the top of the stairway she saw water below her and only a balance beam style bridge to cross the water.

"Seriously guys!" She shouted in frustration before quickly walking across the beam. She'd been a cheerleader for two years, this was nothing.

Maybe it had something to do with her overconfidence at that point but the shock and horror that racked her body when she turned the next corner were almost more than she could handle. Hanging before her from a pipe along the ceiling was what appeared to be a human corpse. Her stomach rolled at the sight and the smell...it was real, that was really a human corpse.

She knew it must be a riddle because there was yet another door blocking her path but she was almost ready to give up and turn around. This was sick, it was sick and twisted and for the first time she considered the idea that she did not belong here.

Before she could turn and head in the other direction she saw Aiden step out from the shadows - of course it would be his riddle, she shouldn't be surprised.

Tilting his head slightly Aiden smirked loving that he was freaking her out. He wasn't about to tell her that the corpse was just a very well orchestrated set up - it wasn't real and the smell was manufactured. "How did this man hang himself? Find the answer and you may pass."

Anna's heartbeat was racing as she looked at the scene. A large part of her still wanted to run the other direction but that part of her lost out to the more vocal part of her that wanted this. Closing her eyes she forced herself to settle down, taking a few deep breaths through her mouth to avoid the putrid smell.

Feeling her body relax she focused. This wasn't reality, the Fellows' moral code was too high to rob a grave, much less murder someone - she could do this. Opening her eyes with a new found resilience she studied the body hanging. There wasn't a chair or anything the body could have "jumped" off of but how else could someone hang themself. Looking to the floor, for a moment she froze. It looked as though the person had peed himself, which renewed her fear that this was real. After reminding herself that it wasn't she smiled - now it was obvious.

Turning to look at Aiden she smirked because she knew the answer without hesitation. "He stood on a block of ice until it melted, at which point the rope around his neck strangled him."

Aiden almost laughed...oh this one was fun. He had no doubt she'd finish the final task. If Chuck and Nate weren't already clambering all over each other for her he'd toss his hat in the ring. "You may pass."

Proceeding with more caution Anna entered the next room, playing by the original rules of the labyrinth and staying straight whenever possible - otherwise going right. Coming into a new hallway she saw wires strung up and down like a booby trap. She stood there for a moment working out her pathway in her head and was about to begin when she noticed the hum.

Reaching forward she lightly brushed her fingers along the closest wire. As the current ran through her she jerked back her hand - the wires were electric. Luckily it didn't seem to be harmful, only enough to sting though it was unpleasant enough to ensure she didn't want to touch another one.

She began then, twisting her body under the first wire and continuing. When she heard footsteps she turned her head to see someone approaching from behind and for the first time she had confirmation that she was being chased. Picking up her pace, she allowed herself to brush a few wires but didn't pause, pushing through.

Taking a leap into a roll she came out on the other side of the maze shooting back a small smirk before taking out her water bottle that she'd been given. There was no way to make it through the maze without stepping on the spot she'd just jumped through.

Lifting her arm above the maze she winked at the man following her whose eyes widened in realization as she poured the majority of her large water bottle onto the ground ensuring his inability to finish the maze. He'd have to step in that puddle to exit, a puddle that also directly hit a wire.

Laughing she moved onward towards what she knew would be a riddle, dreading the fact that it would be Caroline she'd have to deal with.

Keeping as straight a path as she could Anna frowned when she came to a split that didn't offer her the option of staying straight. Turning right she went with her gut and just kept pushing forward. It was ten minutes later that she began to get worried; this was the longest stretch of tunnel without a riddle or obstacle.

"Shit!" She exclaimed as she came to a dead end. This wasn't right she knew how to work a labyrinth, but even she had to admit that this wasn't a real labyrinth - it was the tunnels, the same rules didn't necessarily apply. Moments away from turning around she noticed something on the wall. One of the stones of the wall that was blocking her forward progress was darker than the others.

Smiling to herself Anna walked forward and pressed her hand against the stone. Her smile broadened as she felt the stone press inward and the wall began to vibrate before sliding away. Crossing through the passage that had now open she saw Caroline standing there with a less than pleased look on her face.

"You don't look happy to see me." Anna said with a small smile.

Pressing her lips together Caroline exhaled now was not the time. "What goes on four legs in the morning, on two legs at noon, and on three legs in the evening?"

Anna shrugged a little surprised that they'd thrown this one in as a riddle. It was the classic Sphinx riddle. She really wanted nothing more than to give a snappy retort at how this riddle was fitting for Caroline, she was quite Sphinx-like, but she didn't want to risk it being taken as her answer. "Man."

Caroline nodded and stepped aside. "You may proceed."

* * *

Rolling his shoulders Chuck moved through the room with stealth, he'd always enjoyed the Initiation Ball, they'd always reminded him of Blair - masked balls were her favorite and no splendor was ever spared on this particular event.

All the Fellows both Active and Alumni were beginning to gather as the festivities had begun though they wouldn't really kickoff until Blair finished the final trial. He was there earlier than he usually would be because he wanted a word with Fitz - most of the people there now were simply sipping a glass of champagne and socializing with old friends.

The insanity that would take place throughout the night would top anything she'd probably witnessed as Anna and Chuck couldn't even be sure that Blair would have participated in something so extravagant and wild - she'd always avoided Ibiza. There would be more alcohol than was consumable, with a champagne waterfall, fountains of wine, tequila, absinthe and a myriad of other alcohol varieties, as well as a bar containing every liquor imaginable. But the alcohol was tame compared to the other goodies that would be passed around like hors d'oeuvres. Ecstasy, cocaine, LSD, as well as even more extreme drugs that weren't even available on the black market. He was going to have to keep a close eye on her tonight, of that he was certain.

Spotting Fitz he worked his way towards his old friend - they needed to have a serious conversation. He'd been debating just how to handle the 'Fitz situation' for days, finally deciding that there was only one way to deal with it. "Fitzpatrick..." Chuck said with a serious expression on his face.

Fitz's eyebrows pulled as he turned to face Chuck. "I knew this conversation was coming sooner rather than later. Nate never could keep his damn mouth shut."

Chuck nodded solemnly. "He's worried and he should be. This is a sensitive situation."

Fitz exhaled, motioning Chuck away from the main area of the ballroom. "I realize that."

Chuck shook his head. "I'm not sure that you do."

Fitz could feel himself getting frustrated so he exhaled again, this time forcing the air through his clenched teeth. "I just want to know what her angle is. I believe that she's Blair, I really do and I want to know what the hell she's trying to pull."

Chuck felt the tingle shoot up his spine like lightening but for some reason he wasn't worried about Fitz, not like Diego worried him on this matter. "She doesn't have an angle that much I can promise you."

Fitz felt his eyebrows widen as he was instantly aware of what Chuck hadn't said. "Are you saying that she's Blair?"

Chuck swallowed tightly he'd known that Fitz would read between the lines, it had been his intention. "Any connection to Blair outside of her looks is something she's completely unaware of and it has to stay that way Fitz - no one else can get involved in this."

"So is she?" Fitz asked, realizing once more that Chuck had talked around the point. "Is she Blair?"

Sighing Chuck lifted his shoulders and then let them fall back into place. "Right now, she's Anna."

Fitz could tell that Chuck believed that she was Blair even if he wasn't saying it and for a flash of a moment he felt vindicated until he realized the discrepancies between Chuck's reaction and Nate's. "Nate doesn't know."

"Know what?" Chuck asked, his facial expression stony and serious, showing that this was not a point that was up for discussion now or in the future.

Fitz just shook his head. This was so vintage Chuck Bass that he could hardly contain his own mystified facial expression as he nodded. "Fuck, Bass this is ridiculous."

Chuck didn't say anything but he did tilt his head in acknowledgement of Fitz's words. He was about to ask about Fitz's connection to Sam since that girl didn't seem to be going away anytime soon but before he could he noticed Fitz's eyebrows lift in surprise of something. "What's going on?" Chuck asked following Fitz's gaze to a blonde, one he thought was one of the seven, who had just entered the room.

Fitz shook his head. "Well I'll be damned."

Chuck looked back at Fitz, slightly confused. Clearly something was throwing Fitz off. "Fitz..."

Fitz turned towards Chuck and smirked. "She's past the fifth riddle, maybe the sixth it takes a while for the members of the 7 to get to the ballroom afterwards. Caroline's entrance is my cue to go to my spot. You know what that means."

"She's almost done." Chuck spoke in awe; he looked to the grand clock on the wall. "Wait that's not even possible is it?" It was only 8:30 pm...the ball was called the midnight masquerade for a reason. The initiates were released into the tunnels at 7pm and had until 11pm to complete it. Then there was the hour in between in which they were fixed up for the ball, for the midnight presentation.

Fitz lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "I didn't think it was, she'll be done in under 2 hours. She can't have even taken a wrong turn." With that Fitz began moving towards Caroline, Chuck still beside him.

"What was your time?" Chuck asked with a small smirk as he walked with Fitz.

Fitz pressed his lips together cheeks coloring slightly as he cut his eyes towards Chuck. "10:45." He spoke with a slight frown. "I got into a scuffle with one of the other legacies, struggled with the distraction obstacle, and the wires...the wires were not my friend. Agility is not my strong suit."

Chuck shrugged. "I don't even remember seeing another legacy while I was in the tunnels other than one that I pushed off the narrow bridge thing into the water." Chuck spoke with laughter. "But seriously do you remember how long it took me on the physical obstacles?"

Fitz laughed but he was still a bit embarrassed. "Yes but you didn't let yourself get lost. You still finished at 10:08."

Chuck gave a nod of acknowledgement that the time was correct - he knew Fitz was embarrassed about getting lost in the tunnels when tunnel secrets were practically a family birthright for the Hamilton's, not to mention Fitz had a memory that was so precise that it was damn near impossible to trick him - so Chuck couldn't help but wonder who had been responsible. It had to have been a girl or maybe a sibling...did Fitz have older siblings? He was glad they hadn't asked him to lead Blair astray he didn't think he could have done it. That task had been no problem for him – Chuck didn't trust anyone.

As they reached Caroline, Fitz immediately noticed the scowl on her face not that it surprised him in the least. Caroline didn't care for Anna, that was no secret and for Anna to have done so well Caroline was probably furious. "She's fast isn't she?"

Caroline pressed her lips together she was less than pleased by Anna's performance and now Fitz was standing here talking about things in front of Chuck like he was one of the seven. Cutting her eyes towards Chuck she narrowed them. "Seriously? In front of him."

Fitz rolled his eyes. "Come on Care, don't be like that."

"Whatever. Who does she think she is – Katniss Everdeen." Caroline spat while shaking her head. "She's fast, so fast that I would hurry if I were you." Fitz started laughing but Caroline cut him off with a glare.

Fitz and Chuck both laughed loudly. Blair had played field hockey and danced; living in Texas Anna had fallen into different sports. Chuck wrinkled his nose slightly as he spoke. "She was a cheerleader and I think she ran cross country."

"Eww." Caroline spoke disgusted. "A cheerleader, seriously?" Rolling her eyes she looked back to Fitz. "You do realize she has to be cheating or something - no one is capable of working the tunnels that quickly."

Once more Fitz laughed. "Oh please, I played in those tunnels as a kid, I knew them like the back of my hand and I still almost didn't finish, there's no way to cheat even with inside information. You're just pissed because she's going to beat your time. But you're right, I have to go."

Chuck followed Fitz away from Caroline before putting a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, can I come? I'm the closest thing she has to family."

Fitz thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Why not? If we're treating her like a legacy then she should have someone at the end."

Smiling Chuck followed Fitz out of the ballroom, before thinking of something he'd mentioned a moment ago. "What was Caroline's time anyway?"

Fitz laughed. "Well currently she holds the active record at 9:15pm."

"Anna could beat her by as much as thirty minutes." Chuck said surprised.

Fitz smiled brightly. "I know...it's incredible."

Chuck shook his head in awe. "How far is she from the all time record?"

Fitz lifted his brows slightly unsurprised that Chuck had asked - he'd checked the record himself when he'd started seeing the Seven return in rapid fashion. "She's ahead of pace to beat it. It's 8:51."

"Wow..." Chuck spoke softly. "She's going to do it."

Fitz tilted his head slightly to the side, an almost knowing expression on his face. "Actually we don't know for sure. She hasn't gotten to the distraction yet."

At that Chuck smirked. "Yeah but it's not me leading her off the right path, there's no one else she'd trust enough to follow them for long, her instincts are too good for that."

"We'll see." Fitz said with a smirk before opening the door and leading Chuck out of the ballroom.

* * *

Anna exhaled with a huff she reached the top of the wall. She was glad her parents had taken her rock climbing as a family activity as much as she'd protested at the time, otherwise she wouldn't have known how to climb the wall once she'd gotten the rope tossed around a pipe - as it was it had still been difficult.

Even now that she was winded, Anna didn't want to slow her pace. She hadn't heard anyone else since the wires and she wanted to keep it that way.

Turning the next corner she had to get down on her stomach to crawl through a small tunnel like structure, emerging inside a strange room. Standing she had to blink a couple times to get used to it. There were mirrors everywhere and the only light in the room was a dim chandelier.

She exhaled in surprise when Nate stepped through one of the mirrors, causing the mirror to spin as he did. "Damn you're fast, I wasn't expecting you for at least 45 more minutes; I was almost late."

Anna lifted her eyebrows surprised, she'd hoped she'd been doing well but from what Nate was saying it seemed like she was doing VERY well.

"You don't have to look so smug about it." He spoke before remembering himself and exhaling. "Anyway, so here's the deal this riddle involves action. Light all things that can be lit in the room and the door to continue will open."

Anna turned her head around the room puzzled; these mirrors were going to make her dizzy. She immediately saw four lanterns, five lamps, two torches, and seven candles but nothing was lit yet. For a moment she paused, how could she light all of these objects when currently there was no fire - that's when she remembered the matches in the pack.

Grinning at Nate, she took of her backpack and started digging through it, smirking when she found the matches. It was when she opened it that the smirk slipped off her face. "One match? That's all I get?"

Nate laughed - typically this task didn't take too long but it was easy to fail if you got too cocky.

Narrowing her eyes Anna looked around. There was no possible way to light all the fixtures with just one match, which meant she'd have to light them using something else, potentially . . . a candle. That was it; she could light a candle then use one of the candles to light everything else.

Walking over to one that looked ideal - it was thin and long - it should be easy to use it to light everything else. She withdrew her match and was about to strike when she cast a glance at Nate and noticed that he wasn't smiling. That was enough to cue her in that she was doing something wrong.

Pausing she narrowed her gaze. What could prevent this plan from working? The only way it wouldn't work would be if the candle was for some reason incapable of lighting the other fixtures...that could only happen if the candle couldn't be moved. Reaching forward she tried to pick up the candle and exhaled, it was fixed in place.

She shot Nate an annoyed look before proceeding around the room to look for the one candle that wasn't fixed in place. Of course it turned out to be the strangest looking one of them all but it was only a matter of minutes after that that she was lighting the last lamp and one of the mirror's below was swinging open.

"Nice job Sunshine." Nate said with a smile. "You may proceed."

"Thanks!" She spoke wrapping her arms quickly around Nate's neck, giving him a hug before continuing through the mirror.

She was close to the end - she could feel it. She knew she only had one riddle left. Suddenly she was aware that the tunnels seemed to be getting darker and her flashlight wasn't really bright enough to light the way. She was starting to worry that she was going to run into the wall before realizing it, or fall, or something. Nothing felt right, and for the first time since the beginning, she felt lost.

Just as Anna was beginning to panic she saw a bright light moving towards her. When she saw who was carrying the lantern she smiled. "Trey!"

"Hello beautiful." Trey spoke with a smile.

Anna laughed as she pulled him to her in a hug. "What are you doing down here? Not helping me cheat are you?"

Trey smirked, letting his eyes sparkle. "Follow me; I'll lead you to the last riddle."

Anna smiled - Trey was one of the very few people she'd trust in this. Almost anyone else she'd think was trying to trick her, but he'd been honest with her from day , even about things he shouldn't have been. "Lead the way."

Grinning Trey took her hand and they began to walk back the direction he'd come. When they came to an intersection, Anna smiled when instead of going down the dark creepy trail he started leading her to the left where the pathway was illuminated. "So what possessed you to come help me?"

Trey grinned. "I've been with you from the beginning; I wasn't going to leave you now. Besides we're friends."

Anna was still smiling, following almost blindly until the moment he said the word friends - for some reason that one word sent an explosion of warning signals off in her head. What was it Nate had said about "friends" in the labyrinth?

They'd been lying on her dorm room bed, it was on Thanksgiving after their water fight, she'd gotten him talking about the labyrinth...what had he said?

When his words came to her mind she froze.

"_You trust me right?" Nate spoke as he ran his fingers through Anna's wet hair. _

_Anna turned her head, looked up at Nate and smiled. "As long as you don't have a water squirter in your hand."_

_Nate smiled but then let his face become serious. "I'm being serious Anna, you trust me?"_

"_Of course." Anna said confidently, her eyebrows pulling slightly in concern._

_Nate nodded his eyes still serious. "In the labyrinth . . . don't. Don't trust anyone. You have no friends in the labyrinth."_

_Anna tilted her head slightly confused at his tone before shrugging and giving Nate a small smile. "Okay." _

"No." Anna spoke quickly as she pulled her hand from Trey's. Not only had this been the very thing Nate must have been warning her about not to mention at the intersection they'd gone left. She knew better than that.

"What's wrong?" Trey asked, a confused expression on his face.

Anna just shook her head. "I love you Trey, but in this, I can't trust you."

"Anna..." He started, almost a puppy dog look in his eyes. "Don't be dumb."

At that Anna laughed and placed a quick kiss on his cheek because if she hadn't been sure before she was now. "If there's one thing you know about me Trey it's that I'm not dumb, so thank you for saying that and confirming what I already knew. I'll see you on the other side." She was about to leave when she saw the lantern in his hand and snatched it. "And thanks for this."

Grinning, she took off the other direction hoping that her sense of direction was enough to get her back and beyond glad that she'd realized it before she was too late. Exhaling as she reached the intersection, this time she took the darker path, glad she had the lantern with her.

But it wasn't more than a few twists and turns that she came to a door. Placing her hand against it she felt the door give and stepped through into a strangely glowing room with two doors, each with someone standing in front of it. She paused for a moment to observe and noticed Fitz walk to the middle of the room from the side.

Shaking his head Fitz smiled. "You couldn't even be dissuaded by a friend..." Then he seemed to remember himself and spoke in his ritual voice. "Annabelle Carmichael Getty you've passed the 7 trials in exceptional form, you've completed 6 riddles and 6 tests in the labyrinth and now you stand at the end for your final riddle. Are you ready?"

Anna gave one curt nod, standing tall before the leader of the Fellows. "I am."

"There are two doors before you, each leads to a corridor. One corridor leads out of the labyrinth completely, the other to the grand chapter room. Each door possesses a guardian, one guardian always tells the truth, the other always lies. You may ask one question of either guardian to help you make your choice, but only one so you must choose carefully."

Anna felt her breath catch. She remembered this from somewhere but she just couldn't put her finger on it. A movie with a girl who was searching for someone. . .in a labyrinth. And that girl had been asked this question as well. It was strange she remembered the movie and yet she didn't at all, meaning it had been from before.

Pushing her brain to think wasn't going to work, it would only give her a headache, she'd learned before that she couldn't force her way past the mental block - however, she might be able to help herself remember by trying to figure out the riddle for herself.

Smiling she stayed still, staring at the two guardians. She could ask one of them if they were the correct door but that wouldn't help her because then there was still a 50/50 shot they were lying. To figure out which one was lying she could ask an absurd question but then she'd only know which one was lying and not which door was the right door. So she had to think of a combination question that would tell her both.

She hardly knew what was happening as she stepped forward and spoke - because for once she wasn't thinking, she was just letting go. Stepping towards the guardian on the right she spoke. "Which door would he," She pointed at the other guardian. "Tell me is the door that leads to the ballroom?"

As she spoke, she worked through the logic of what she was saying. If the guardian she asked said that the guardian on the left would say that his door was the correct door then the door in front of her was correct because either her door was lying and the other guard wouldn't say that or he was the truth teller in which case the other guard would be lying. So whichever door he didn't say was the right door.

The guardian smirked before he answered. "He would say that my door is the correct one."

Smiling Anna turned and walked to the other door. "I choose this door."

"Good luck." Fitz said keeping his face neutral.

The guardian before her stepped out of the way, allowing Anna to pass. As she walked through the door, everything went black.

* * *

Chuck felt his knees begin to shake so he forced himself to walk around the room as he waited for her to finish. He was starting to stress himself out, thinking that he'd been wrong not to tell her the answer to the final riddle. Growing up Blair had had a strange fascination with the movie _Labyrinth_ - he was relying on that fascination now to get her through the last riddle but he wasn't even sure that Anna had seen the movie. This was a big gamble.

Exhaling he shook his head, it wasn't a gamble. Anna was still smart, she could figure out the riddle herself even if she didn't remember it.

He was facing the opposite direction when he heard the sound of a door opening. Spinning around he beamed when he saw her walk through the door.

Anna smiled the moment she saw Chuck knowing that she'd been right, she was done. Running to him she jumped into his arms, wrapping hers tightly around his neck. "I did it!" She exclaimed, realizing by the giddiness in her voice that she'd let her guard down completely with him without even thinking about it.

"With plenty of time to spare." Chuck said turning his head towards the clock. It was 8:46pm.

Anna smiled brightly as she noted the time then looked back at Chuck. "That's a good time right?"

Chuck couldn't help but laugh as he spun her around, her arms still locked around his neck. "Anna, it's the best anyone's ever done."

Anna smiled but a skeptical expression traced the lines of her mouth. "In what, like a couple years?"

Chuck shook his head coming to a stop his eyes practically sparkling. "No, ever. Until you Caroline held the active record at 9:15, a record that you shattered. The overall record was 8:51, a record that's held for over 150 years."

Anna's eyes shot open. "You're joking. You are joking aren't you…?" As she met Chuck's gaze her lips parted. "You really are serious. But...I didn't...how?"

Chuck laughed lowly. "I think everyone's wondering the same thing, especially Caroline."

"Oh great, so she's going to hate me even more than she already does." Anna said with a small sigh.

Still laughing slightly Chuck smirked. "You can take her."

At that, Anna smiled giving Chuck one more quick hug before tilting her head to the side. "Now we celebrate." When Anna smiled he continued. "You'll have almost three hours to get ready, you aren't presented until midnight. There will be people to help you since generally there's around an hour and a half and that's pushing it; but you probably won't need them."

"Then what happens?" Anna asked curiously - still in shock that she'd finally done it. She was in the Fellows now, there didn't have to be anymore secrecy around her.

Chuck smirked as she squeezed her hand. "You'll be presented at midnight, given your name, family, token, and mask. Then you'll be free to join the party."

Anna smiled brightly, she was excited; she knew the party would be grandiose and extravagant.

Chuck shook his head slowly as he led her to the preparation room. "Don't get too carried away okay? There are some serious drugs that will be passed around."

Rolling her eyes, Anna smirked at Chuck. "I can take care of myself, Bass. I know not to take something that I don't know what it is."

"Good." Chuck spoke seriously. "I want you safe. I love you."

"I love you too." Anna said in almost a singsong voice before shooing him away so that she could get ready.

**Ladies and Gentleman get ready - I hear there's a different debut of sorts tonight and our new friend A has been smashing all the records and breaking all the rules to ensure she makes the most fantastic debut of all. This is one night I wouldn't mess with our little princess because it seems as though everything she touches turns to gold. I for one plan to stay out of her way, consider yourselves warned.**

**xoxo  
Gossip Girl**

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed. The actual Ball chapter is next - hopefully it will be up in about a week, but we'll have to see. As always, thanks so much for reading - I write for me but I post for you guys.

Reviews are always appreciated.

xoxo  
kate


	34. The Belle of the Ball

**Apologies for the delay everyone - work has been insane recently so I haven't had as much time to write as I would like but I promise I haven't abandoned either of my fics.  
**

**For this chapter I listened to A LOT of Florence and the Machine (I mean like crazy) especially Seven Devils, Heavy In Your Arms, and Cosmic Love. Also the song I use near the end is Wanted by Hunter Hayes (Ironically that song has been in the plotline for this story for over a year, so I hope you aren't all tired of it now that he's popular).**

And as far as songs go in general - most of you know by now that song lyrics are just kind of my thing (you'd think I'd like glee more than I do since I seem to turn all of my fanfics into a freaking musical lol). Also - I give both Chuck and Blair hidden singing/guitar playing talent on the reg. So sorry if that throws you off a bit but I can't seem to help it.  


**To answer a reviewer question: I haven't really thought about the identity of Gossip Girl for this fanfic. In the past I've used Gossip Girl in a different way but for this fic I have no intention of making it part of the plot (that's MUCH more likely to come up in Life & Lies).  
**

**Blair's "dress" is up on my profile (It's actually a blend of two different dresses) as are the two alternates.  
**

**To my reviewers: SouthernBelle88, ebs12, Kels, fanny0997, Sw33tHeart21, ReadWriteLIFE, Anonymoose, olimgossip, Danii-Anne, Imortalrunes, leightedandnian, cascia, Rachel, LarssonEl, Leila Davis, , LitPrincess2787, LovelyLydia, Ggfanficfan09, CarolinaGirl21, and Ray. **Thanks for all of your super inspiring words - I know I didn't respond to most of your reviews (I suck lately) but I really do appreciate each and every one of them more than I can say. Thank you sooooo much for sticking with me on this story (even when I disappear for months on end).

To my beta - **ggff-fan** this story would never be posted without you so thanks :)

* * *

**Chapter 34: The Belle of the Ball**

Anna took another sip on her champagne as she watched the girl doing her hair finish curling the strands around her face from her up-do. It was twisted up at the back but left curls spilling over the top. She smiled to herself, her neck was bare, Chuck would love that. Taking the eye pencil from the vanity before her, she went over her eyes once more intensifying her gaze.

She was vaguely aware that the sparkles she was seeing around her reflection probably weren't normal and that the thoughts she was having didn't seem to be entirely her own but she didn't particularly care - she felt so good all over. For the briefest of moments she remembered Chuck's warning about consuming anything and realized that her champagne must have been spiked but it wasn't something that concerned her, she still felt completely in control of the situation.

Turning her chair she looked at the girls assembled before her - not the best of minions but they would do for the night and they'd done an adequate job assisting her in getting ready thus far. There was a brunette, a blonde and an asian, she thought that their names were Savannah, Noelle, and Zoey respectively but she couldn't be bothered to be sure. It was time to select her dress for the evening. "Bring me my choices." She spoke authoritatively.

The girls scurried, bringing back a rack of evening gowns that she could immediately see were fantastically expensive. Standing, she tightened the silk robe around her before she began to finger through the gowns, every once in a while stopping to pull one of them out for closer inspection. As she narrowed her eyes at a gold one covered in sparkles, lips tightening, one of the girls spoke

"That's the one Chuck thought you'd pick." The blonde girl said with a smile on her face. Chuck had been back here earlier, trying to occupy himself as she did the maze and he'd picked out a couple that she thought she'd choose. "That or the light blue."

Anna frowned at the girl whose name she thought was Noelle. "Really?" She couldn't help but think the gowns looked mildly like something a Disney Princess might wear and maybe there was a part of her that felt like that suited her but tonight a larger part of her felt so much darker than that. "And why was that?"

Noelle was still smiling. "He thought they both sparkled like you do. He thought you'd want to light up the room. And that one," She pointed at the gold. "He mentioned something about sunshine."

Looking at the girls she narrowed her eyes - their outfits were borderline slutty. She couldn't help but think that Chuck still saw her as the uncomplicated girl she'd seemed to be when she'd first arrived and knew that wasn't who she was anymore. She was a little more darkness, a little less sunshine than she used to be but that was something to be celebrated. She loved the inner strength that drew from the darkness she'd found within her and she loved the sense of power it gave her - that wasn't a part of herself she wanted to hide, not tonight. "Exactly how will most of tonight's guests be dressed?"

Noelle laughed a little, clearly uncomfortable, but it was Zoey who spoke. "A little more...adventurous to say the least."

Nodding Anna smirked. "I want to stand out and in case there was any doubt about what that means, I want to be shocking, I want to leave every person in the room breathless when I enter." Meeting each girls gaze she could see that she'd been adequately terrifying. "None of these are appropriate."

It was that Savannah spoke for the first time in Anna's company. She'd been carefully observing since meeting her and had already determined that these choices were too safe hours ago - it had been more than a couple hours since she made the call to improve the selection. "I thought you might say that."

Anna's head snapped towards the brunette, whose slight Southern accent caught her attention almost as quickly as her words. She watched as she left, returning with three dresses that made Anna's smirk widen and her eyes light-up. "That's more like it."

Before her the brunette held a gold dress she immediately identified as Zuhair Murad, a white Versache, and a magnificent Jean Paul Gaultier. "That one." She spoke immediately, as she nodded her head in the direction of the Gaultier.

Nodding Savannah stepped forward with the dress and Anna placed a hand on her arm. "What's your name?"

Savannah smiled slowly, knowing she'd achieved what each of the girls there had been trying to, getting in with the girl who was clearly going to be powerful within the society. "Savannah. Savannah Storm."

Anna's eyes remained intense as she looked for weakness in the other girl - finding her beyond adequate she nodded. "Stay and help me finish getting ready. The rest of you are dismissed."

As she allowed Savannah to help her into the gown she couldn't help but relish the overwhelming power she felt. She couldn't remember ever feeling so comfortable in her skin or so absolutely in control and she loved it. Something about this felt so right, this is where she was meant to be.

* * *

Chuck was standing with Fitz once more as the clock neared midnight and he couldn't hide the frown on his face at not getting his way. "I want to escort her." He said again, his mouth in a thin line.

Fitz rolled his eyes. "I'm not caving Chuck. The initiate enters alone. You know that and it isn't changing now. Nor is the fact that you can't be her 'big brother' since you aren't an active. Not to mention that's just incestuous." Before Chuck could interrupt Fitz shook his head and exhaled. "And no I'm not going to tell you whose family line she's been chosen for. You'll find out when everyone else does."

Chuck was about to make another comment about his displeasure about having Anna around all of these drugs to which Fitz would once more reply that it was tradition, when he heard the clock strike its first cord, calling everyone's attention to the grand staircase.

"Showtime." Fitz spoke, his voice low as he moved quickly away from Chuck towards his place at the foot of the stairs even though he knew Chuck would follow for as long as was possible. He'd gotten a text from Savannah an old friend of his little sisters telling him the dress Anna had chosen and after seeing Chuck's reaction to the drugs; he did not want to be standing next to him when he saw her in this dress.

Chuck knew enough to stop at the bottom of the stairs - there would be a scene if he walked any further up to the middle landing - and he wouldn't embarrass her like that but when he saw her his breath stopped in his chest. Everything around him silenced and blurred together as the clang of the great clock seemed to hold out for longer than was possible.

Her dress was unbelievable, strapless with a drop waist, red jewels covered the garment over a nude underlay; it hugged every curve of her body tightly until it hit the skirt a little above her knees, flowing outwards in an intense design that looked like pure fire. Looking back up at her face Chuck couldn't hold back his look of pure amazement, she looked more like Blair Waldorf than he'd ever seen her look and it was absolutely startling. This wasn't the dress he thought Anna would pick, this was a Blair dress though if he'd ever seen one and her neck was bare...his kryptonite.

Chuck had to resist the pull to walk up the stairs and offer her his coat because of the seemingly revealing nature of the dress but he knew that the other girls in the room were even more scantily clad than her. Though she technically revealed less skin, sometimes it was it was all about what you weren't showing.

He watched closely as she reached the landing and for the first time their eyes locked. When they did his heart froze for a moment because if he didn't know better he'd swear he was looking at Blair - memories and all - rather than Anna. Something in her eyes was different, darker, yet somehow more vulnerable.

Anna felt herself freeze when she met Chuck's eyes, she'd been curious to see his expression but this was unexpected. It was good that she'd reached the landing to meet Fitz because otherwise it would have been obvious that something had shaken her. Chuck was looking at her as though she might be about to break his heart and she wasn't sure she knew why. Deciding the only thing to do was to push through she smirked and turned to Fitz.

Fitz nodded, an air of seriousness about him as the ritual began when Mitchell the new member officiate stepped up next to him. "We are here to welcome among us the initiate, should they be proven worthy." Turning his head towards Mitchell he gave a nod. "Fellow Huckleberry Finn, give your report."

"It is my estimation that the initiate Annabelle Carmichael-Getty has completed the necessary tasks exhibiting the virtues we as Fellows prize in our members. She proved strength in self by meeting Fitz's gaze head on without instruction, knowledge in our history through a time honored test, and resourcefulness by obtaining an impossible to obtain object - the Heartsong necklace. She showed ruthless ambition by taking down one like her to rise herself and judgment in doing so. Her loyalty was proven in the staged kidnapping where she kept the secrets of the Fellows safe and dignity was observed in her ability to gracefully remove herself from a predicament. Lastly, she completed the labyrinth in the fastest time on record. She has proven herself worthy." Finished Mitchel with a quick smile at Anna.

Fitz nodded. "Now we shall see what say the collective. Bring forth the poll." Fitz watched Anna's eyes widen and couldn't help but smirk - so this was a surprise to her, but he couldn't help but notice that even this didn't shake her confidence.

Chuck frowned, he'd forgotten to tell her that while she was getting ready everyone, both actives and alumni, voted on whether or not to accept her. After she completed the final task everyone was given a print of her profile, results on each of the task as well as the labyrinth, and recommendations by the Seven. Chuck hadn't seen it but he could imagine what it said.

They only offered 25 spots every year - including both fall and spring initiations - so in years there were too many who completed the tasks not everyone made it. One year they'd had 32 legacies alone; this year they'd had around 12 during the legacy initiation at the beginning of the semester. From what he could tell no one had been upset about the additional fall initiation - so he couldn't imagine there would be an issue, even still what came next shocked him.

"While you were preparing, the collective voted on your admittance by dropping either a black ball or a white ball in the box. And in my hand I hold the results." Fitz grinned as he opened the envelope, the smallest shake of his head occurring as he read what was within. "Another first." He spoke, his voice low.

He noticed Anna's confusion and could sense the tiniest hint of panic so he warmed his eyes as he continued. "By far the closest to a unanimous vote I've ever seen, you've been granted entrance into Liberty's New Fellows. With this comes great power, but even greater responsibility. From this point on your actions do not just affect you, they affect the collective. When you succeed, we succeed, when you fail, we fail. We expect unparalleled loyalty, in return you receive our complete support and, should it be needed, protection. What say you, the initiate, do you accept?"

Anna, who's eyes had been locked with Fitz's, found herself relaxing; it was finally over. Smiling Anna lifted her chin and spoke, voice clear and calm. "I do."

Fitz pulled from his tux a dagger and motioned the Seven forward. Nate handed Fitz the ritual bowl as each of the Seven passed around the dagger before making a cut on their left index finger. In turn each of the Seven stepped forward and held their finger over the bowl, allowing seven drops of blood to fall before stepping back. At Fitz's turn Nate held the bowl, after which Fitz turned to Anna and handed her the dagger.

Following those before her Anna made the same cut in her own index finger. She didn't even feel the cut - instead she felt an intense rush of something she couldn't identify and once more had the strange sensation that this was what she was meant for. She counted the drops as they entered the bowl, with each one it seemed that a part of her was changed in some way.

After her blood dripped into the bowl, Caroline handed Fitz a single white iris. "_Ipsa scientia potestas est,"_He spoke as he took the iris and dipped it in the blood of the Seven in addition to her own. _"Sapere aude"_ He said, withdrawing the iris and meeting her gaze. Finishing softly as he let go of the iris in her hand. "C_onsummatum est."_

Anna was confused - it took a moment for her to realize Fitz wasn't speaking English because she'd understood him perfectly. Apparently she knew Latin, just like she'd known French._ Knowledge itself is power, dare to know. _As she took the flower she gave the slightest of nods that she understood and smiled with his final words. _It is finished. _

Turning to the room Fitz smiled. "Fellows, Annabelle has taken her vows and is ready to join our ranks, becoming a full member of one of the most secretive and most powerful societies to have ever existed. She has pledged herself now it is our turn."

Anna let out the tiniest of gasps as the entire ballroom knelt before her and spoke in unison. "To you we pledge our loyalty, our resources, our power, our compassion, and our strength. What belongs to us belongs to you. We welcome you."

Anna looked at Chuck, watching the smile on his face as he spoke. She had to work to maintain her composure as she was hit by a wave of emotion - she felt as though everything she'd ever wanted was laid before her. As everyone stood she looked to Fitz who gestured. "Please kneel."

She knew what came next. First she would be named to a house, followed by her claiming by her big brother or sister, after which she would be named, before being presented with her token and her mask and being introduced to the collective.

Taking a knee she thought through the possibilities in her head. There were five houses - The House of the Oak, The House of the Sword, The House of the Skull, The House of the Lily, and The House of the Ash - it was no secret that this was important, the most powerful members of the Fellows, the Seven were mostly from the house of the original founders, the House of Oak. There were exceptions Aiden was in Skull, Caroline was in Lily, Braden was in Sword, and Thomas was in Ash but Nate had indicated that there had never been a leader chosen from a house other than Oak.

Anna could feel her breathing quicken as Fitz began to speak. "I, Hamlet, head of the Seven and Leader of the Fellows present you this pin, the marker of the Fellows." He spoke placing the pin into her hand. Holding out another pin he placed it next to the other. "And welcome you to the House of the Oak." Anna could feel her breath catch but she maintained her focus, this was long from over.

Fitz couldn't help the small smirk that was sliding onto his lips, she was certainly holding her composure as of yet - it would be interesting to see if she maintained it through what was next. "Now I invite her Magister or Magistra - Latin for teacher - to step forward and welcome her to their family."

Anna's gaze was still downcast as she waited, but she could hear the murmurs throughout the room. For a moment she wondered if the murmurs had reached a volume that she couldn't hear the footsteps of anyone walking forward. Suddenly she was nervous - she knew it wasn't Chuck and Nate hadn't said anything - so she really didn't know who it could be. Searching with her peripheral vision, she couldn't see any feet approaching but even that didn't prepare her for Fitz's next actions.

Extending his hand Fitz, led Anna to her feet and smiled. "Welcome to the family."

Shock coursed through Anna at a rapid fire pace and she knew her cheeks must have flashed red, though she quickly brought that under control. She knew better than to speak but she lifted her eyebrows at Fitz in question and he nodded. Fitz was her Magister. Chuck had told her that Fitz had refused in the past to take a little brother or sister considering only a couple times with Nate and again with Mitchel. Returning his smile, Anna exhaled.

Chuck could barely control his emotions - he knew that this was good for Anna's success within the Fellows and Blair would want nothing more - but it made him nervous. He'd done everything but tell Fitz the truth about who Anna was so that he didn't out them unintentionally; however, with this new revelation he couldn't help but wonder what exactly Fitz's game plan was. Tuning back in, he watched on as they finished the ceremony.

"Your name from hence forth within the Fellows shall be Catherine Linton, of Wuthering Heights." Fitz said, glancing quickly towards both Chuck and Nate who were both standing close by, Nate with the Seven, Chuck as close as anyone outside of the Seven would venture.

Anna smiled slightly to herself and gave the slightest nod. So Chuck hadn't quite been right but he had been close, she wasn't Catherine Earnshaw but her daughter - the doppelganger, the one who'd followed her heart rather than her head. She felt a strange twisting within her as her mind seemed to waver between foggy and clear. There was simply something about tonight that was different and she'd yet to quite place her finger on it. As she looked back to Fitz she was shocked by the words that seemed to echo through her brain.

"_It's not fair to judge Catherine so harshly. Heathcliff was destitute and Linton was a good man. There's nothing wrong with wanting what Catherine wanted."_

_It was a boys voice that argued back. "But at what expense? At least her daughter got it right."_

"_Catherine Linton had it easy, it was a different choice entirely." She spoke. _

_The boy spoke again, clearly angry. "You are so very like her aren't you - spoiled, beautiful, rich, arrogant. Always the one to go for the easy choice."_

_There was a moment of hesitation before the girl spoke. "It's the only choice that's been presented." A moment of silence passed before she added. "It's just an AP English paper, it's not like it actually matters." _

Anna jerked herself from the strange conversation in her head surprised that Aiden was now stepping toward her.

Aiden stepped forward next to Fitz and smirked. "I knew you were special princess. Congratulations." Pulling from his tux a black jewelry box, he opened it, expecting the shocked expression he received. "Your token, lovely." He finished as Fitz withdrew the Heartsong necklace and placed it around Anna's neck.

Anna's fingers immediately went to her neck - only vaguely listening as Fitz continued speaking about the token. More quickly than when it had happened a moment ago she was lost amongst a memory that she recognized, this time there was an image to accompany the conversation.

"_It's the Erickson Beamon necklace" She gasped as her fingers reached forward to the necklace sitting in the box Chuck was holding in his hands. _

_Chuck nodded. He smirked at the glow in her eyes._

_She felt as though her eyes had glazed over in shock, this was the last thing she'd expected. Withdrawing her fingers she shook her head. Speaking as Chuck removed the necklace from it's case. "No, I couldn't." _

"_Yes you can." He responded, placing the necklace around her neck and fastening it as she continued to look on with wide eyes. Chuck ran his fingers along the chain slowly before looking up into her eyes._

"_Something this beautiful deserves to be seen on someone worthy of it's beauty." _

_Anna swallowed tightly, barely having room to breathe. Her entire body was tingling with desire and as Chuck's lips touched her shoulder she seemed to be taken over by something else entirely. Taking her hand in his she once more threaded her fingers through his. _

"_I really am sorry." He spoke before placing another kiss on her shoulder._

_With that Anna's head snapped upward seeing the a reflection of herself and Chuck in a bedroom mirror for an instant - him in a tux, her in a black dress, her hair back, his disheveled. Her eyes going back to the necklace she noted that it wasn't the one she remembered._

In an instant the memory was gone leaving a dry taste in her mouth - she'd become even more suspicious of what might have been in the champagne she'd been knocking back the past couple hours - clearly something was going on with her head.

She watched as Fitz then motioned Braden forward who opened another black box. She heard Caroline gasp and couldn't help the awed smile that rose to her own lips. What lay before her was a masterpiece of a mask of gold interlaid with diamonds and pearls.

Instantly her brain flashed to looking at her reflection in the mirror, makeup perfect, hair on top of her head, as she brought an entirely different mask to her face.

Shaking off the strange intrusion of memory she spoke quietly "It's beautiful."

Fitz smiled as he placed the mask on her face, tying the bow carefully. "As are you little one." Taking her hand he turned towards the collective and spoke grandly. "I present to you, Liberty's New Fellows, our newest member, Catherine Linton of the House of the Oak."

Stepping to the side, Fitz swung out his arm, further presenting her as she gave her grand curtsey as the room erupted in applause. Smiling she stood proudly before the room and gave a single nod of her head as Fitz spoke. "Now let the celebration commence."

Anna allowed Fitz to lead her down the steps towards everyone, each of whom congratulated her profusely. Fitz handed her another glass of champagne and she looked at him skeptically.

Fitz shook his head smiling. "You're too smart for your own good and much too careful. It's okay to have a little bit of fun. I'm not going to let anything happen to you and I'm sure Chuck won't either."

Anna pursed her lips before taking another small sip. "What exactly is in the drink?"

Fitz smirked. "My favorite, a little drug I like to call Oblivion. The Fellows are the only ones I know with access. One night won't hurt you but continued use makes the drug dangerously addictive and withdrawal is misery - headaches, vomiting, shaking - it's as bad as I've ever witnessed and feels a little like how I imagine hell."

"I see...you learned from personal experience." Anna quipped softly though not timidly - keeping their conversation private while showing Fitz she wasn't scared to get personal.

Fitz grinned almost nostalgically. "Like I said too smart for your own good. But yes, that's why I will not be partaking in any Oblivion tonight. Which leaves me perfectly capable of watching out for you." Anna smiled at him and he continued, gesturing around the room. "Now as for what you should stay away from; I'd avoid the blue waterfall, it has a little drug called Mystic mixed in that leaves you feeling incredibly raw the next day. The coke is good but keep it to limited quantities if you want to go there. Don't touch anything that requires an injection or take any tablets unless you know exactly what it is. The cocktail waitresses wearing blue and pink are safe enough, the other colors somewhere in the middle, touch nothing on the tray of a waitress in black."

"Thanks." Anna spoke with a grin just as the neared Chuck. "What's on the black trays?" She added, curiosity getting the better of her as it often did.

"Nothing you want to touch." Chuck spoke stepping next to them. "I'm not even one to go past the orange trays, the yellows are plenty hardcore enough." When he saw Anna look confused he added. "It's pink, blue, green, yellow, orange, red, dark purple, black. The Rainbow with the warning drugs at the end."

As Fitz nodded agreement, Anna shrugged and spoke dismissively. "You say that like you're into anything hardcore."

Fitz couldn't help it he burst into laughter. Chuck shot him a look that was clearly meant to tell him to shut up but, Fitz was powerless against the laughter that kept bubbling forth. Regardless of what Chuck had let on earlier about Anna possibly being Blair, clearly there was something different right now. From what he knew of Chuck and Blair, she'd known everything there was to know; Anna was obviously still in the dark. "Oh darling Annabelle, Chuck here knows his drugs."

Anna looked at Chuck with raised eyebrows and he shifted his stance, trying to make this into as little of an issue as it was to him. "I used to party, those hangover cures I make didn't originate as a selfless act for others."

Anna couldn't help but smirk. "How very interesting, I knew you were bad, but this brings a whole new light to things."

Chuck felt his posture relax as he stepped forward. "Not too intense for a good girl like you."

"Chuck haven't you learned yet?" She said taking a step towards him as well, and allowing her voice to go from teasing to suggestive. "When I'm good, I'm very good; but when I'm bad, I'm better." Anna continued smirking. "I can handle it."

Smiling himself, Chuck nodded feeling a tightening in his pants. "I'm not sure there's anything you couldn't."

Fitz knew it was his time to go when Chuck shot him a look as though surprised he was still standing there. Handing her off to Chuck he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before walking away to make his rounds.

As Fitz disappeared into the crowd, Chuck smirked at her. "Don't you look ravishing."

Anna countered with a smirk of her own, stepping forward even closer. "Oh you'll ravish me, I'm sure." As she spoke she had another one of those strange flashes, a masquerade ball a boy in a devil's costume.

Chuck had to blink away the sensation he got at her words. Always before when she'd said something from the past, while jarring there was still something different, but tonight it didn't feel that way. Tonight he felt as though he were looking at the old Blair. "Dance with a poor devil?" He asked extending his hand to her.

Anna smiled expectantly. "There's nothing I want more."

Chuck led her out onto the dance floor before sweeping her into a rather grand waltz with a wide smirk lighting up his features. "So is it everything you ever dreamed."

"And more." Anna replied with a little smirk of her own.

Chuck lifted his eyebrows. "And this dress...wow."

"Not what you expected, is it?" She spoke, with a sparkle in her eye.

Chuck shook his head. "That it is not. I was thinking you'd go for a Princess feel, this is daring."

Anna shrugged her shoulders slightly as they danced around the ballroom. "I wanted to be the most stunning person in the room - the last thing I wanted was for someone to outshine me tonight, it is my party afterall."

Chuck couldn't help but laugh, Anna was so very Blair tonight. "I'm surprised those idiots they sent to help you get ready survived your cutting wit tonight."

This time it was Anna who laughed. "Well two - who weren't worthy of me learning their name - probably didn't. It's so hard finding obedient minions. But Savannah has potential."

"Savannah Storm - why am I not surprised you like her." Chuck said with a smirk.

"What are you inferring?" Anna quipped quickly.

Chuck exhaled in frustration at her attitude but at the same time he was delighted - this was exactly like a conversation with Blair should be and he was going to stop freaking out and being surprised by it and instead enjoy it. "Simply that she's you -" He was about to say 'only a few years younger' but caught his mistake. "Made over." He finished. When Anna shot him a look he continued. "Graduated from Dalton, top of the social ladder, knows the right people to attach herself to, and she can be a total bitch if you're on her bad side."

Anna shrugged in unapologetic agreement, before pausing when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Excuse me I'm dancing with my boyfriend." She spoke her tone annoyed as she spun around; but when she saw who it was she found herself squealing and wrapping her arms around his neck. "NATE! Oh my God Natie I'm so happy to see you."

"Natie? Since when do you call me that?" He asked surprised, that was what Blair used to call him - but with her arms around his neck like this he couldn't help but smile and spin her around. He could feel Chuck's glare on him but he didn't care - after all what could Chuck actually do to him without revealing lies of his own.

Anna shrugged and smiled as she pulled back slightly and fluttered her lashes. "Oh, I don't know it just came out," She said with a laugh.

Nate smiled. "Someone's had a bit to drink tonight haven't they?"

Lifting her shoulder causally she smirked. "Are you saying you're not enjoying my company?"

"Not in the slightest. I love your company." Nate said with a smile, though he could actually feel Chuck's burning rage next to him.

Smiling Anna took a step back, still holding onto Nate's hand. "Of course you do, always have, always will right?" As she spoke, Anna felt her head spin as her mind morphed her vision for a moment that confused her - she was about four inches from Nate's face, touching it, she had the sense that she was about to kiss him and her hair, why could she see her hair hanging in the periphery. Suddenly her vision zoomed back out and everything was normal again.

Nate's face drained of color the moment the words left her lips...she sounded like Blair. That had been their thing, 'always have always will.' How many times had they said that to one another?

Chuck's eyes darted quickly between the two. He'd stood beside and let their little love fest go on because tonight was Blair's night but when she'd uttered those words his heart had almost stopped - Nate and Blair's little saying. He'd recovered more quickly because for whatever reason he was starting to get used to this tonight but both of them clearly looked out of it. Taking this opportunity to step in before either of them noticed just how much they'd freaked out the other, he moved forward and extended his hand. "Chuck Bass."

Nate looked up at Chuck in surprise. What was Chuck...oh, he was introducing himself. Chuck was actually playing along with the little charade. Feeling his stomach settle he met Chuck's gaze and gave the slightest of nods. "Nate Archibald, I think I've seen you around."

Nodding, his face the picture of civility, Chuck spoke. "Yes same circles and all that."

Nate grinned. "Yes and you're dating one of my closest friends. I've heard a lot about you."

Anna smiled at the two boys, she was glad they were getting along so easily, she'd actually been worried about the day they met. Turning her head for a moment while they continued introductions she saw a mane of blonde hair and smiled - was that Serena? Just as she was about to go say hello, the girl turned and she realized her mistake. Interupting the boys she gestured towards the girl. "Do you think she looks a bit like Serena?"

Nate almost spoke but caught himself at the last second, turning to Chuck to let him answer.

Chuck frowned slightly as he looked at the girl. "Maybe a little. Why?"

"Nothing," Anna said with a smile. "I was just thinking I'd go say hey. Really, I haven't seen enough of S since my birthday, maybe I'll invite her to drinks at Butter...or dancing at Bungalow." Looking to the guys she kept smiling. "What do you think?"

Nate's eyes were wide as he tried his best not to speak. What the hell was going on? Since when did Anna hang out with Serena? Shooting Chuck a questioning glance he complied when his friend gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

Chuck forced a smile to his face, tonight just kept getting weirder. "Well she won't be in from Princeton again until Christmas - I'm sure she'd love to spend time with you. But I thought you didn't really want to hang out with her."

Anna shrugged. "I'm over it. She's you're sister which makes her family to me." Turning to Nate she placed a hand on his arm. "Actually, do you know Serena? If not I should introduce you guys sometime. You'd look good together I think - and oh would those be pretty blonde children."

Nate shook his head slightly, it felt as though he had stepped into the Twilight Zone. One glance from Chuck told him it was time to move along and for once he was almost ready to be out of Anna's presence. As much as he liked her this was like some weird alternate universe Anna that he wasn't quite sure how to respond to. "Maybe this Christmas?" Anna nodded. "I'll let you two get back to dancing, I just wanted to come congratulate you."

"Thanks." Anna said with a smile as Chuck led her back on the floor. She glanced up at him, with stars in her eyes and frowned at the look on his face. "What's wrong Chuck?"

Chuck pressed his lips together, not surprised that she'd seen through him but he couldn't help but wish she hadn't. He was worried about her, about everything. As much as he just wanted to enjoy how very Blair she was tonight, the cause was starting to trouble him and just then she'd almost spelled everything that was going on out for Nate. "It's nothing." He spoke softly.

Tilting her head she lifted skeptical eyebrow. "Chuck...I know you better than that, better than I know myself sometimes."

Chuck smirked sadly at how true that statement was, because she didn't seem to know herself at all. "I know."

Narrowing her eyes, she felt her brows furrow. "You miss her don't you...something about tonight is making you miss her."

Chuck inhaled so quickly that it burned his throat, he wasn't sure how she could do that so easily, just tear through everything and yet she couldn't see the truth beyond that. "I love you." He spoke in quick reassurance, knowing that she would understand that wasn't denying it - because she was acting so much like Blair tonight that it only made him miss the real her more.

Anna nodded and smiled. "I know. Now shut up and dance with me." Speaking she felt her mind begin down that weird bendy road again as her vision seemed to flicker to a starlit room, snowflakes and ball gowns as she was led down a staircase toward a dance floor.

Pulling herself back to Chuck she smiled at him and danced. And everything was perfect. The room seemed to glow and sparkle. She didn't know if it was the champagne or the Oblivion in the champagne and she didn't care. It was strange though, she kept seeing people and thinking she knew them - she could even give them names but they weren't people she'd ever seen before. It should disturb her but it it didn't.

Chuck couldn't help but relax into her as they danced. He hadn't felt so comfortable in so long, yet at the same time it scared him. This wasn't normal, he could tell Anna was having flashes tonight but that never happened unless he set her up to and usually it was accompanied by so much confusion that he avoided it. Tonight it seemed to be different, everything seemed different.

Anna lost herself in Chuck, dancing to the music without a care in the world until she felt a cold stare on them. Lifting her head she glanced around until she locked eyes with someone across the room. Confused at the shockingly clear blue eyes that met hers so intensely she had a slight stumble.

Chuck looked at her concerned, he'd never known her to miss a step. "You okay?"

Anna picked right back up with the steps but she was distracted as she trained her gaze on the girl. "There's a girl staring at me, she actually looks...familiar. I'm guessing she knew Blair."

Chuck titled his head in confusion before searching to see the girl himself, what he saw made him groan in distaste.

Flaring his nostrils he tried to control the disgust he felt every time he laid eyes on her. "Georgina Sparks. She and Blair . . . well let's just say there's no love lost there or with any of us really."

"And she's in the Fellows?" Anna asked contempt slowly filling her voice for no clear reason. She could feel an inexplicable hatred bubbling up within her and had no intention of curbing it.

Chuck shook his head and sighed. "No but she's engaged to someone high enough up in the alumni that she can come if she wishes. Alumni can bring a date."

"I see." Anna spoke her voice growing deadly quiet. "If she's engaged then why is she looking at you like she wants to rip your clothes off?"

Chuck scoffed before noting the seriousness in Anna's voice, what was she getting at? "She has a little twisted fascination with me. I lost my virginity to her in the 6th grade and while I've been avoiding her ever since, she's been trying to convince me to repeat - which I generally don't do. Besides, Georgie marrying that guy is all for security - you heard the vows, the Fellows are all about protection and Georgie had a little run in with the Russian Mafia a few years back."

Narrowing her eyes as her shoulders stiffened, Anna felt her blood begin to boil. Where did this Georgina girl get off? "I don't want her here."

Chuck snorted - Blair would go after one of the few people he wasn't sure he could get rid of. "That's not something I can fix."

Anna scoffed as she stopped glancing and glared at Chuck. "Fine then, I'll take care of it myself."

Exhaling Chuck shook his head. "That's not a good idea." Chuck watched as Blair bristled before him, he knew better than what he'd just done. Telling her no was the surest way to guarantee she did something.

"Why not?" Anna snapped in return, suddenly curious as to why Chuck was trying to stop her. "Do you think I can't handle her?"

Chuck practically growled. Why was she being like this? How had she never learned to just stay out of Georgina's way unless she had to get involved with the bitch? "Honestly, I don't know. She's like a hydra, cut off one head and two more grow in it's place."

Anna felt fury rush through her veins, clearly Chuck had no idea of the kind of damage she was capable of inflicting. "We'll see about that." She snapped, turning ready to walk away when she felt Chuck grab her arm, but it wasn't actually his touch that halted her.

"Blair don't." Chuck spat in frustration.

Anna's head snapped back as she froze, her very breath an accusation as she spoke. "What did you just call me?"

It was only as she called it into attention that Chuck realized his mistake. He wasn't certain when he'd stopped thinking of her as Anna and started thinking of her as Blair but he had and then he'd said it aloud. "Shit." He muttered quickly, eyes wide.

Shaking her head, Anna practically hissed her next words. "I can't believe you."

Still feeling slightly stunned, he tightened his hold on her wrist and tried to explain. "It's just . . .you're...you're acting like her."

Narrowing her eyes Anna observed Chuck quickly realizing that it was true, he wasn't confused - he'd actually done it because she'd been acting like Blair. It caused a tingling in her spine that she couldn't quite shake, her weird behavior, the strange memory things, did it have something to do with Blair? She could feel herself start to panic so she forced herself to focus on a different emotion. "Well isn't that what you've always wanted." She snarked, beginning to jerk herself away.

When Anna pulled back Chuck held on more tightly, reaching out and grabbing her other hand as well. "Don't act like this Anna, please."

"Like what?" She snapped, tugging on her hands though Chuck didn't release her, so instead she moved closer and got in his face. "My own person rather than your little princess? Sorry I'm not who you thought I was."

Chuck took another step forward bringing them within inches of one another, reaching up he clasped her face in his hands. "Anna please, that's one bitch you don't want to tangle with. That's all I'm trying to say."

"Why are you acting like she's psychotic?" Anna asked, her voice losing some of it's bite but not much.

Chuck snickered only slightly...Georgina was psychotic. "Because she is." He spoke, his words slow and measured. "The thing about Georgina is that even when you beat her, you don't beat her for long. She always comes back for another round and Blair...Blair didn't care, she just kept going after her, which means so did I. It's never enough."

Anna lifted her eyebrows, giving Chuck what was clearly patronizing glare. "Maybe you just never got her good enough."

Exhaling loudly Chuck placed his hands on her shoulders as though to anchor her in place. "Annabelle, you can't win this one, no one can."

"Care to make a wager?" She asked, a small smirk rising to her face. She wanted to play and she had just the thing to entice Chuck to join her.

Furrowing his brow Chuck sighed. "Why would I do that?"

Taking a step back, Anna ensured that Chuck saw her as she took a finger and ran it around her opposite wrist before locking her hand around her wrist, knowing just the gesture would make him think of the handcuffs she'd found in his closet at the Palace a couple days ago; handcuffs he'd suggested they use, but she'd declined. "I think you know." She spoke sexually. As she looked up at Chuck she had another weird mind warp, for a moment Chuck looked different, younger, crueler, and more intent on what he was saying, but she blinked her way out of it.

Chuck realized immediately that she was referencing the handcuffs and instantly felt his blood rush downwards. Part of him was shocked because this conversation reminded him so much of one with Blair their senior year when she'd wanted him to seduce and destroy Vanessa, the other part of him was still anxious about the idea of going after Georgina. "Are you saying...?"

"That if you can get Whorgina kicked out of here and thoroughly humiliated before I do, I'll let you tie me up any way you'd like...yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." She said with a sexually charged smirk.

Narrowing his eyes as his breathing quickened Chuck grinned. "And if you succeed? What do you get?"

Anna stepped forward until her lips were at his ear. "Then I'm the one who gets to do the handcuffing."

Chuck's eyebrows rose almost imperceptibly in surprise before his grin narrowed to a smirk. He couldn't resist the temptation of a good wager, not to mention a Georgina takedown might be just what Blair needed to wake herself up.

"Do we have an agreement?" Anna asked growing impatient. Tugging at her mind was a nervousness, an anxiety that he might succeed, which made no sense - she wasn't anxious to be tied up. Again her vision flickered to the same Chuck, his hand tracing her stomach as he untied something around her waist. His response once more brought her back to reality.

Chuck's smirk broadened. "Oh we have a deal." He spoke trailing a finger along her chest and up her neck.

Anna's smile held a hint of fire as she bared her teeth. "You're gonna lose." She spoke before turning and sauntering away from a completely in awe Chuck Bass.

As she walked Anna opened her clutch and withdrew her cell. "Eric, hi. I need you to tell me everything you know about Georgina Sparks."

"Anna..." Eric started but Anna cut in immediately.

"Whatever you say isn't going to stop me - so just tell me what I need to know and I won't have to keep making phone calls." When Eric's response was a sigh, Anna knew she had him so she added quickly. "And a sharp focus on this mess with the Russian Mafia would be appreciated."

Anna walked over to an alcove while she listened to Eric talk, watching as Chuck went in for the kill. She knew she was playing things risky by standing back while Chuck gave it a shot but she knew she need information first and foremost, then she'd be ready. Plus it looked as though Chuck was going for a seduce and destroy game plan, one she had a feeling wouldn't work.

As soon as she hung up the phone with Eric she made another call, dialing a number she halfway wished she'd forgotten. She should probably be avoiding doing what she was about to do but she was a girl who knew how to use her resources and she hated to lose. "Diego, this is Annabelle, I have a little favor to ask."

"Anna?" Diego asked in surprise. He'd answered his phone without even looking but now he was at full attention. If Anna was asking him for favors she might be in trouble. "I thought you..."

"What you thought isn't important." Anna snapped, acid dripping from her voice to make it clear that this favor would have no rebound affects for him if he chose to assist her. "I need the info for your Russian contact from the arms deal you did back in early October."

Diego's mouth slipped open, what the hell had Anna gotten herself involved in. "How did you even know about..."

Rolling her eyes Anna interrupted him a second time - something she intended to keep doing until he gave her what she wanted. "That isn't important...I need his number."

"No." Diego responded obstinately. He'd vowed to keep her safe from now on, he wasn't going to just hand her the info of someone from the Mafia, that was beyond dangerous - it was stupid.

"Diego..." She led, her voice holding a warning as she watched Chuck take Georgina's hand and lead her away.

Exhaling Diego was completely uncertain of what was going on and he wasn't telling her anything until he knew more. "Why do you need it? Are you in trouble?"

"No." Anna said with a scoff as though to say - if I were I wouldn't turn to you. "There's just someone I think he'd like to meet."

Sighing loudly, Diego knew if he denied her this she'd likely never speak to him again; but if something went wrong he'd never forgive himself. "Fine...but if anything goes wrong, if he threatens you or anything call me."

"Diego..." Anna started again.

Shaking his head Diego's voice deepened. "I'm serious Anna, that's my condition. I don't like that you're doing this but I won't stop you if you promise me that you'll tell me if this gets dangerous."

Huffing Anna nodded. "Fine." When there was nothing on the other end of the line, she knew what Diego was waiting for. "I promise."

"His name's Dimitri, he's one of their US based guys. He's generally relaxed just don't do anything to set him off." Diego warned, still uncomfortable giving her the information at all; but the scary thing was, he trusted Dimitri more than his own gang and he'd left her with them. Dimitri never did anything without reason, he was calm, cool, and calculated - dangerous yes, psychotic no.

Anna smirked, she was moments away from getting what she needed. "I know all this, now tell me his number."

Diego shook his head, he still didn't know how she knew half of what she knew about any of this. She must have been paying better attention than he was aware. He also had the strangest feeling that he wasn't talking to the Anna he knew, something that scared him even more than it scared him to give her this number. "Fine."

As Diego gave her the number she smirked at an angry Chuck as he stalked out of the room he'd gone in with Georgina. Walking towards a blue cocktail waitress she pointed at her tray carrying champagne. "Is this Oblivion?"

When the waitress nodded, she smiled. "Good." Taking one from the tray she downed it before swapping her now empty glass with a full one. As she did she looked up across the room, locking eyes with Chuck and lifting a glass at his attempt. Approaching him she smirked as she downed her drink. "Let me guess, you attempted to seduce her and get her caught cheating and it didn't work out?"

Narrowing his eyes, his first instinct was to question how she knew but Chuck knew it was pointless, she was Blair, she knew these things. "Apparently I am on her list of 5 people she can cheat with should the opportunity arise."

Anna laughed. "Sit back and watch how a pro does it."

Chuck couldn't help but laugh with her as he watched her cross the room towards Georgie. He stayed out of sight but close enough that he could listen in. He had to know how she'd handle this, not to mention her attitude tonight had him incredibly turned on.

"Well if it isn't Georgina Sparks." She spoke with confidence as she walked smoothly up to the raven haired girl.

Georgina narrowed her eyes as she observed the girl before her. "And the girl who is not Blair Waldorf..."

Anna smiled a smile that could almost be considered friendly. "Yeah that's old news and completely irrelevant. But do tell me - how's Jesus treating you?"

"Jesus and I had a bit of a falling out." Georgina said skeptically as she took a few steps forward, cautiously approaching the situation. "But I thought you knew that."

Anna continued to smile. "Oh I did, I just thought that since you were hiding out at a convent in France for a while you might have remedied that situation." Anna smirked as Georgina's eyes widened in surprise. It was surprising what a few phone calls could uncover, Georgina had told Dan who'd told Eric and she'd put the rest together herself because there was something she'd realized when Chuck had first mentioned the Russian Mafia - she'd met Georgina before.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Georgina insisted, knowing her voice had lost some of it's strength.

The smile slid from Anna's face as she walked closer. "I think you do." Flashing her eyes, Anna smirked. "Come on G, don't you remember? You met me once at Charles De Gaulle." When Georgina didn't respond she stopped smirking. "You had a horrible fake French accent and were carrying that Alexander Terekhov handbag, when you mistook me for someone else."

Georgina couldn't even speak, she'd forgotten that. She'd run into the girl coming off the plane from Moscow, when she was running to France, she'd been so shocked to see her that she'd said hello.

"See you do remember me." Anna said with a cruel smile. "And a friend of mine - Dimitri Ivanov - remembers you too." She saw the fear shoot into Georgina's eyes like fire works exploding and continued speaking. "His boss Sergei Mikhailov is so anxious to reconnect with you, I think you'll remember him, he's the head of Solntsevskaya Bratva, the branch of the Mafia that you foolishly tried to infiltrate and steal from."

Any semblance of a smile had completely slipped from Georgina's face and she was way past trying to deny any of this. "Get to the point...what do you want?"

Anna smirked drawing her face close to Georgina's. "First you leave Michael and for that matter all of the Fellows alone for good." Taking a slight breath to ready herself for the blow she'd deliver next Anna tilted her chin upwards. "Get out of here now. And not just out of this ballroom, but off this island. Go and never come back. Because if you ever set foot in Manhattan again I will know and I will destroy you."

"You can't be serious." Georgina said lifting her chin. This was eerie to the point of freaking even Georgina out, this was not Blair Waldorf and yet she'd swear it was. Only Blair would ever go at her like this, especially unprovoked. "You're Blair, I don't know how but I swear to God I'm going to figure it out and when I do..."

Anna smiled, cruelty seeping through like venom. "I'm flattered really G, I am. But I'm not. And even if I were, I think I hold the trump card." Leaning in even closer her next words were practically a hiss. "Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here."

Pulling back from Georgina the scene before her seemed to flicker to a much grungier Georgina standing in a park with the same horrified look on her face. She ignored it as another drug induced hallucination and turned her back on Georgina, walking away from the terrified girl with a smirk on her face, only calling back to say. "You have five minutes."

Walking towards Chuck, Anna lifted her eyebrows looking for approval, since she knew he'd listened in on every word. When he nodded and lifted his drink to her she smirked. "Don't be too hard on yourself, it was a solid effort."

Chuck approached Blair, with a smirk. "Do I want to know how you know Dimitri Ivanov?"

"Probably better if you don't." Anna said with a quick smile as she took his hand, feeling completely high on life. "Now that I've won, I think I'd like to enjoy my party."

Chuck laughed as he spun her towards the dance floor. "As you wish."

* * *

It was hours later when Blair had long ago kicked off her shoes and had her fair share of the spiked champagne that she twirled towards Chuck and grasped his lapels, losing her footing as she did. Laughing she clung to him as she had so many times before. Her drug infused brain seemed to flicker through past moments like wildfire as she looked up at Chuck. "Let's go."

Chuck nodded, worried at how inebriated she'd let herself become, yet at the same time he'd never seen her have quite so much fun. He was cautious because so much of this wasn't like her and he'd seen her drink before, all he could think is that it was possible she'd taken something that he hadn't been aware of. He was going to ask but when she smiled up at him like he was her whole world, he couldn't spoil it.

"My feet hurt." Anna said with a pout as she looked at Chuck.

Chuck laughed, taking from Anna her mask and putting it in her designated area of the entrance room before leading her to the tunnel entrance and sweeping her into his arms bridal style.

Anna laughed freely as she took her shoes off and let them dangle from her hand.

"Is that better." Chuck asked, smiling down at her brightly.

Anna nodded laying her head against his chest. "Yes, now can we go home?"

Chuck chuckled looking down at her almost innocent face. "I'm taking you home."

Anna shook her head and frowned. "Not to the dorm." She spoke meeting his gaze directly. "I want to go home."

Chuck was only confused for a moment before he realized what she was saying - she wanted to go to his suite, she was calling his suite home. Upon realization his face fell into awed elation. "But I thought..."

Anna reached up and put her hand on his face, lifting herself closer to him she spoke seriously. "My home's with you Chuck. Wherever you are, that's where I want to be. Always."

Chuck felt as though his heart were about to explode from his chest as he smiled down at Blair as she said every word he'd always wanted to hear her say. "Always." He repeated before placing a kiss on her lips. Standing her on her feet for a moment he withdrew his phone and called his driver to bring the limo around. As he did, he slung his coat of his shoulders and placed it on her own, which she accepted with a smile.

A few minutes later Chuck sat in his limo with her head in his lap as she drifted in and out of sleep. His hand traced circles on her arm as he stared at her in thought. He'd almost mentioned her strange behavior a few times now, but every time he'd held back. He was considering it once more when his phone vibrated with a text. When he saw it was from Fitz, Chuck's heart skipped.

**Did our girl enjoy her trip? Since she kept going I'd guess she did, so more importantly did you?**

Chuck was only confused for a second before he realized exactly what Fitz had done - he'd put something in the champagne, something she'd been aware of. He'd only had a glass himself but it would explain the hints of nostalgia he'd been feeling.

It was Oblivion, it had to be, which he explained her behavior - she'd probably been having a mind fuck of hallucinations all night that was bringing out the Blair in her. Holy shit, what had Fitz done?

**You better pray this doesn't have a negative effect on her.**

Chuck texted furiously. He impatiently waited for a response, the whole time thinking just how sorry Fitz was going to be if this fucked her up.

**Relax C, I did you a favor. O's not dangerous. Tell me you haven't loved tonight and I'll apologize. **

Chuck wanted to text him back but he didn't know what to say, Fitz was right. He didn't know a lot about Oblivion but he knew it was recreational - if he remembered correctly it was a lot like weed only with amphetamine leanings so far as behavior goes and some vivid hallucinations that tended to distort past and present. It was popular on the Ibiza circuit around 3 years back.

But it had made her let loose and enjoy herself, and of course there was the obvious - she'd been more like the old Blair than ever and Chuck couldn't even put into words what had been like for him. It was the moments when she seemed to remember, the moments when she was almost Blair, that Chuck really remembered how different they were. And it was in those moments that he missed Blair the most.

Chuck was still shaken as he escorted her out of the limo, once more sweeping her off her feet and into his arms. He carried her into the elevator where he looked down at her and smirked. "Oblivion, huh?"

Anna's head snapped towards him in surprise. "You knew?"

"It took me awhile but I figured it out." Chuck responded as he handed her the key so that she could open the door to his suite.

On the other side of the door way Chuck loosened his hands to let her know he was about to set her down. However as he dropped the arm that was holding up her legs, Anna turned her body into him and as he stopped holding her up she pressed herself against him, rubbing her own body tightly against his as her bare feet touched the ground.

Chuck froze, her body still tightly pressed against his own. They were only inches apart when he took a step back, smiling as he walked towards the bar to fill a glass with water.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Anna asked, grasping his hand tightly and tugging him towards her.

Chuck grinned at her, almost nervous as he looked down at her curiously. "Are you okay?" He asked, wanting to be certain.

Anna smiled. "Never better." As she spoke she walked towards Chuck and placed a hand on his chest, pushing him lightly back towards the bed.

"Why don't we talk?" Chuck asked with a smile as he allowed her to shove him back onto the bed.

Laughing slightly, Anna leaned forwards. "I prefer to talk after."

"Anna...you're so bossy tonight." Chuck started playfully, but she responded by stepping towards him until he felt how serious she was. He couldn't make love to her tonight, it would feel too much like he was taking advantage of her. There were too many drugs in her system when you accounted for the alcohol and the Oblivion. "We shouldn't."

Anna tilted her head, that sounded like a challenge. She ran her hand along her neck and down the lapels of his coat that she was still wearing. "What do you think about my coat?" She asked, toying with the lapels.

Chuck looked up at her in confusion, instantly placing this particular memory. The night of the graduation party, the night he'd failed a second time to tell her how much he loved her. They'd been interrupted by that Gossip Girl blast or he would have done it. "My coat, and I quite like it. Why?" He spoke playing along if only for a moment.

Anna undid the belt and let the coat slide from her shoulders. "And now?" She asked feeling a flicker within her mind. There were moments the room looked darker, moments where Chuck was sitting on a couch instead of a bed, moments where she wasn't quite so confident.

"Even better." Chuck spoke, remembering clearly his role, even if he was uncertain about whether or not he should proceed.

"And my hairpin?" She asked as she slid the fancy pin out of her hair.

Chuck could feel himself giving in, he couldn't resist her on a normal day much less when she was so herself. "I...admire it."

Anna smiled, she knew Chuck was giving in. Lifting her knee onto the bed next to Chuck she bit her lip temptingly. "And my stockings?"

Chuck took his hand and ran it along her stocking covered thigh. She'd never reminded him so much of Blair and he was starting not to care how wrong this was. "Oh, I adore them."

Anna let her finger trail to the top her dress where she traced across her cleavage. "And my dress?" She asked as her hands went behind her back, quickly unzipping her dress and allowing it to drop to the floor, revealing her La Perla lingerie.

Chuck felt the air leave his lungs as he reached upwards placing his hands on her hips, his thumbs traced back and forth, feeling her breathe through every point he touched her. "I worship it."

Leaning forwards Anna ran her fingers down Chuck's cheek and smiled a slow tempting smile. "And how do you feel about me?"

Chuck moved closer to her though he knew it was time to pull away. He didn't understand fully what had happened tonight but he knew that taking her to bed now wouldn't be fair. Just as he was about to tell her that he loved her and that was why tonight he couldn't be with her, he looked into her eyes. What he saw startled him so completely that he almost gasped. It was as though he were looking into the eyes of the real Blair Waldorf and the moment it happened he was a goner. Reaching up he grabbed hold of her face. "I love you so much it consumes me."

Bending down Anna slammed her lips against his, her tongue entering his mouth without hesitation - though she could sense that he hadn't completely given into her. "I want you." She spoke huskily against his mouth. "I want you so badly that every inch of my skin is screaming to touch you."

Chuck pulled back, gripping each of her shoulders. "Anna..." He started.

He was holding back; but she could see it in his eyes that his self control wouldn't last much longer. She leaned in again, this time his arms gave way just enough for her to brush her lips against his. She looked up at him from under her brows, resolute. "Don't make me beg." Anna whispered against his mouth.

With those four words, Chuck's reservations vanished. Unable to control himself, Chuck slide his hands into her hair, pulling her closer and pressing her tightly against him. He kissed her hard and eager, unable to get enough.

Anna's fingers ran down the length of his back, yanking his shirt from his pants and jerking it over his head. Her hands moved back down at a rapid fire pace to his belt which she pulled off with a snap, slinging it across the room. Unzipping his pants, her fingers clutched the fabric tugging them down along with his boxers.

Chuck's lips grew impatient as he tugged her ever closer before allowing her to fall to the mattress before crashing down with her. His tongue found it's way to hers once again. Chuck could feel himself quickly losing control but by now he was beyond stopping. He slipped his hand into her La Perla's gripping the fabric and dragging them down her legs with one hand as his mouth returned to hers.

Anna could feel Chuck's fingers as his hand slid up the inside of her thigh like they were on fire. Her head tilted back and she let out a long faltering breath as he touched her as only he had ever done. She could feel herself arching into his hand her breath becoming heavy as her nails dug into his back.

Chuck smiled down at her as he positioned himself above her, deciding that he could try one more time to resist this. "We don't have to do this tonight. Not when you're so out of it."

Reaching up, she cupped his face with her hand and smiled. "I've never felt more like myself." As she spoke she reached into his nightstand blindly reaching for the condoms she knew were there. Feeling the plastic between her fingers she touched the corner to her mouth, tearing open the package with her teeth.

At that moment he wouldn't have been able to resist her if he'd wanted to try and he couldn't try anymore. A few moments later when he was positioned between her thighs he nudged her with his chin. "Look at me Annabelle." He spoke, wanting nothing more than to see what he'd seen earlier again, to see Blair's gaze looking back at him. When she looked up at him, it felt as though his world were suddenly complete. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly before pushing himself inside her, wanting nothing more than to make this moment last forever.

* * *

Chuck watched her carefully as she slept, her head resting on his chest. She looked so peaceful laying there. In some ways he envied her. She might have lost her memories of him, of them, which was something he could never imagine; but she had never had to live with losing him like he'd lived with losing her.

Before Blair, he'd never had any sense of what inner peace even was; she gave that to him. He didn't know happy or content before her and after the crash he'd been so convinced he'd never feel either of those emotions again. Afterwards he hadn't been living for himself; he'd been living for his friends, his family, for the part of him that never let go of the possibility of her surviving the crash.

Now he still didn't have that peace that she used to bring him because every fiber of his being was terrified of losing her again. Back before he cared he was invincible, she'd become the chink in his armor, armor that had shattered completely when he'd lost her. There was nothing he was more afraid of than losing her and he'd do whatever was necessary to make sure that didn't happen again.

She'd started out as the exception to every rule he'd ever had. She was the one thing that could touch him, could make him feel, could make everything worth it. Now she was his weakness, the one thing that could hurt him so badly he couldn't survive.

So he envied her because even though she'd forgotten them, she'd never had to live with the pain that came with losing him, she still had that peace that he longed to feel. There were flickers that Chuck recognized and longed for. When he first met Anna, it had given him hope. When he'd fallen for Anna he'd felt content. When he'd learned the truth, he realized that any semblance of those emotions – happiness, hope, contentment, love – that he'd thought he'd felt paled in comparison to the real thing. But it still wasn't the peaceful feeling that he'd once had.

He could still see the outlines of that look on her face now and couldn't help but wonder what she was dreaming about. Was she dreaming as Blair or as Anna? He couldn't be sure because of the drugs that were still working their way through her system. Today she'd remembered things that he'd never even come close to thinking she'd remember, all the way to the precise nuances of her personality seemed to be exposed. His heart started to break in that moment.

He loved Anna he did, he had fallen for her, but he'd fallen for the part of her that made him forget Blair. He'd wanted to protect her innocence in a way he hadn't been able for Blair, he wanted to keep her safe and loved. But now after he'd experienced even part of the real her tonight, he was desperate to bring Blair back. Because no matter how much he loved Anna, she didn't know him like the real Blair did.

Tracing the side of her face, fingering the hair there, he wished he knew what she was thinking and hoped it was something real.

_She smiled as she looked up at Chuck her lashes heavy. "Is this real?" She asked quietly."Because it doesn't feel like it could be real, like we're finally here, finally together, after everything." _

_Chuck smiled, tracing the edge of her jaw. "I feel like I'm the one who should be asking that, I'm the one that just kept fucking up." _

_Shaking her head, she propped herself up. "I fucked up too. About so many things." When Chuck looked at her she saw something in his eyes that she didn't expect, something she wasn't sure she'd ever seen there before and it gave her the chills – for the first time he looked at peace and she knew that was because of her. _

"_I don't think people are supposed to be this happy." Chuck spoke as he met her gaze. He couldn't believe what finally admitting how he felt would do. He thought it would make him weak to love her, instead that seemed to be what made him strong. _

"_I love you Chuck." She spoke leaning up and placing the softest of kisses on his lips. _

_Returning the kiss Chuck smiled. "I love you too. I'm sorry it took me so long to say it." _

_For a moment she was surprised, it hadn't taken him long to say it at all had it. It was then that she realized she was dreaming. Part of her seemed to be trying to wake up but the other part was too happy in this moment, it was perfection. She'd never seen Chuck look so completely at ease and that was all she wanted for him. She smiled though as he took her hand in his, tracing the skin between her fingers. _

"_I'm going to love you forever, you know." He spoke softly before looking down at their fingers, intertwined. "And now that I know how good it feels to tell you that, how much it reassures me to hear you say it back, I can only imagine how it's going to feel to put a ring on your finger." _

"_Chuck..." She started completely caught off guard. They'd just said I love you and now he was practically proposing. She could feel herself freaking out, she'd never imagined this life in her wildest dreams, there had always been a plan, a proposal, a family in mind but it hadn't been with Chuck. But she always knew, when Chuck was ready to say those words it meant he was ready for forever, otherwise he'd never risk it. _

_Chuck grinned, backtracking slightly. "In a couple years of course." _

_She shook her head, once more she had the feeling that she was having thoughts not entirely on her own. This time she blamed it on her silly drug induced dream as she proceeded. "We need to slow down, way down. This is moving...so quickly. I barely have my bearings and already." _

_Tilting his head Chuck looked at her with pulled eyebrows. "Don't start this, not today when we're finally happy." _

_Exhaling she leaned back. "I'm not trying to start anything, I'm just saying that we just got to this point, I'm not ready to start thinking about more than that right now." She could see he wasn't happy so she reached out a hand and placed it on his face. "Chuck, don't be mad. I don't want to be with anyone else, I just want to spend some pressure free time getting used to us." _

_Propping himself up on his elbow Chuck looked down at her almost apprehensively. It scared him that the words they'd exchanged earlier meant something else for her than they did for him. "Earlier I told you that I'll love you forever. I don't throw that around, for me forever is permanent. I'm never going to love anyone else but I need to know right now where you see this going?" _

_She exhaled, unsure what to say. Chuck was seriously talking about forever but she couldn't commit to that when it was only today that he'd finally told her how he felt. And condoning talk of engagements would only encourage him to pursue that route even more quickly and when Chuck Bass set his mind to something it always got done. But she could see in his eyes that the wrong answer could destroy everything they were building together. Looking at Chuck, she met his gaze directly. "When I think about my future, I see you." _

_Chuck sighed, partially in relief, partially because those words meant everything to him. Pulling her against his chest he held her tightly to him, thinking about the locket he'd already purchased in London on his way back to her - he was so excited to give it to her but now wasn't the time for that. "I don't know what I'd do without you, I'm so damaged but you make the rest of that not matter. You make me whole." He spoke against her hair._

"_I'm damaged too you know." She spoke softly, turning her head to look at him. _

"_No you're not, you're perfect." Chuck spoke obstinately. Smiling Chuck pushed himself up. "I want to show you something." Brushing off her confused look he got on his knees and pulled something out from under the bed._

"What are you doing? What is that?" She asked, leaning over to get a better look because that looked like a guitar and she couldn't fathom why Chuck would ever have a guitar. "Chuck…"

_Taking the acoustic out of its case Chuck climbed back on the bed and looked at her, knowing that to any outsider this would be sickeningly cute but he didn't care, Blair was the only one who would know and she already knew he was a romantic. "I wrote this for you after, you know, everything…" _

_Sitting up, she drew her feet up under her and looked at Chuck in amazement as he started to sing. _

_**You know I'd fall apart without you**_

"_You can sing? And play?" She interrupted quickly but Chuck simply ran a finger across his lips before continuing. _

_**I don't know how you do what you do  
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me  
Makes sense when I'm with you**_

_She could feel her heart swelling as he sang. She could tell he meant every word. Looking into his eyes said everything she needed to know. He loved her, he needed her - to him she was everything._

_**Like everything that's green, girl I need you  
But it's more than one and one makes two  
Put aside the math and the logic of it  
You gotta know you're wanted too**_

_Chuck smiled as he sang the words he'd written. He'd done it when things they'd been apart. She'd been with Nate and he'd be alone - realizing that everything she'd done for him that winter had been what held him together._

_**'Cause I wanna wrap you up  
Wanna kiss your lips  
I wanna make you feel wanted**_

_She was practically swooning as she watched Chuck. She wanted to interrupt and jump him because she was so turned on but she could see it was important to him that he finish. At the same time, she couldn't quite contain how turned on watching him play made her, how the chills ran up her spine in the best way at the sound of his voice._

_**And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold your hand forever  
Never let you forget it  
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted**_

_Chuck couldn't help the pleasurable tightening he felt as Blair's gaze met his, yet at the same time he almost laughed. She wanted to play and her smoldering gaze was getting to him quickly. Looking down at his fingers he smiled to himself before look back up at her, this time conveying how serious he was about what he was singing. _

_**Anyone can tell you you're pretty  
You get that all the time, I know you do  
But your beauty's deeper than the makeup  
And I wanna show you what I see tonight**_

_When Chuck met her gaze again, she felt more than just a tug at her heartstrings, he was so serious about what he was saying. And it was true, he'd been the one to see past the outside to the person she really was, he knew her like no one had ever known her. _

When I wrap you up  
When I kiss your lips  
I wanna make you feel wanted

_She wasn't sure she'd realized until now how much he really loved her. Of course she'd known for ages how he felt but even when he'd told her today she hadn't really understood. He'd freaked her out earlier with the talk of marriage but she hadn't understood even then. _

_**And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold your hand forever  
Never let you forget it  
'Cause baby I wanna make you feel wanted**_

_But now she got it, now as he sang she understood what he'd been trying to tell her from the beginning. Chuck Bass wasn't going to fall in and out of love a hundred times, when he loved it was forever. And now the words he was singing to her really began to sink in, he knew just the thing to say to make her relax and stop worrying about what other people thought, what society expected, or what was proper. With Chuck, she could just feel and that was okay. _

**_As good as you make me feel_**  
**_I wanna make you feel better_**  
**_Better than your fairy tales_**  
**_Better than your best dreams_**

_She pressed her lips together feeling her eyes moisten with tears. He was doing more than just making her feel secure, he was making her feel loved in a way that she never had before. She'd loved him for a long time, but this was the first time she'd known the extent of what she felt. _

_**You're more than everything I need  
You're all I ever wanted  
All I ever wanted**_

_She was going to remember this moment for the rest of her life. This was the moment she'd heard truly happy people talk about, the moment when they realized that the person that they loved was the person they were going to spend the rest of their life with._

_**And I just wanna wrap you up  
Wanna kiss your lips  
I wanna make you feel wanted**_

_Tears slowly started to leak down her cheeks. One day she was going to marry Chuck Bass, maybe in five years, maybe in one year, maybe tomorrow – it didn't matter when. And that thought didn't freak her out anymore; in fact in comforted her. For the first time, she wasn't worried about what she was supposed to do, because what she felt for him superceded all that. _

_**And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold your hand forever  
Never let you forget it  
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted**_

_Looking at Chuck she mouthed the words, not wanting to interrupt even if she could speak. "I love you."_

_**Yeah, baby I wanna make you feel -  
Wanted  
'Cause you'll always be wanted**_

_Setting down the guitar he reached over and pulled her to him, cradling her close against his body. "I love you too." _

_Pulling back she found that her voice was working again. "Listen to me okay." When Chuck gave a quick concerned nod she pulled back and took his face in her hands. "I'm not telling you to go out and buy a ring … but I need you to know that I'm going to love you for every second, of every day, for the rest of my life. You're my forever." _

_She smiled at the pure unguarded joy she saw in Chucks gaze at her words. It was clear that what she'd said had meant as much to him as it did to her. _

* * *

Anna blinked a couple times as she took in her surroundings. That dream had felt so real, so emotionally charged. Dreams weren't supposed to be like that, she felt like she could actually recall the moment from her memory like it had really happened. She knew it must have been tied to Oblivion – that drug had been messing with her mind all night, she'd been wrong to take so much.

She almost laughed thinking back to the crazy way her mind had reacted with all those strange hallucinations. She had been imagining some of the craziest things and her thoughts had been completely out of nowhere. And good God what had she been thinking calling Diego and then a Russian mobster? She really had been a crazy bitch.

Looking over at Chuck she smiled as she watched him sleep, his arm tightly wrapped around her holding her to him. As she scanned his face she began to frown. His eyes weren't open but there was something in his expression that was troubling. It took her a moment before she realized just what it was.

The peace that she'd seen inside him in her dream wasn't there anymore. It unsettled her. Her brow furrowed she traced her fingers along his cheek and sighed. All she wanted now was bring that peace out in him. Snuggling up against him more tightly, she didn't mind when his arm tightened holding her more closely against him. She was resolved now to do whatever it took. She was going to figure out what Chuck needed to be truly happy and she was going to give it to him. That's what you did for the person you wanted to spend forever with.

* * *

**So there we go. I hope you enjoyed it. First off - I know that some of the lines I gave Blair didn't happen until after season 2 but i was just using them for inspiration rather than a specific memory. And the final dream scene is set post season 2 but before the plane crash.**

**Lastly major shout out to the novel Beautiful Disaster which helped inspire the end of this chapter - I ADORE that book and it's lead character reminds me sooooo much of Chuck (There's a strong possibility that when I finish my two current fics I'll do a Beautiful Disaster inspired one).  
**

**Reviews are always appreciated.**

**xoxo - kate**


	35. What's Worth The Risk

Here's the next chapter - hope you all enjoy :)

The song near the end of this chapter is Jimmy Wayne's Do You Believe Me Now - which you can find on the Spotify playlists I've now included on my profile with the rest of the extras.

To my reviewers**: Ray, LovelyLydia, pLei4fun, eckomoon, LitPrincess2787, GGfanficfan09, BellaB2010, leightandnian, Kels, CarolinaGirl313, monique89, Ellie, BelleBelles, kosoul7, LizabethNYC, KeepSaying, Sw33tHeart21, Guest, and SingingPutterfish **You guys are all so awesome - thank you for the truly inspiring reviews. I know I'm bad at updating consistantly but I do want you to know how much I appreciate the fact that you all haven't abandoned the story as a result. I'm trying to do better I promise.

To ggff-fan, you are the bestest beta ever. Thanks so much!

* * *

**Chapter 35 - What's Worth the Risk?**

"Okay coffee break, I can't handle any more econ right now." Anna said, collapsing backwards onto Nate's couch. Reaching forwards she snatched her coffee mug before cradling it in her hands. Thank God for coffee - she wouldn't be surviving this week without it.

Nate shrugged as he joined her, happy to be done. "I think we've pretty much covered everything we could possibly cover anyway."

Anna immediately burst into laughter, sloshing her coffee. "Oh Nate we've only gone over the course work for the last third of the course."

"Yeah that's all that's on the final right?" Nate spoke, assuredly as he attempted to take her coffee from her before she spilled it all over his white sofa.

Anna just pressed her lips together, suppressing another peal of laughter, still clutching her coffee tightly in her hands as Nate attempted to rest it from her. Shaking her head she looked at Nate with sympathetic eyes.

Nate's eyes widened in horror with the realization that Anna wasn't joking around and immediately released her coffee mug in shock. "It's cumulative?"

Anna frowned as she gave Nate her most sympathetic of looks. Setting the mug on the table she found herself working through a game plan in her head. At least they had a few days before Econ - it wasn't until Tuesday. "It's fine, we've got time. It's Saturday and this exam's not until Tuesday - that's three days of studying devoted solely to econ."

"You don't have any other exams?" Nate asked surprised - she was a first semester freshman, they were usually cursed with more exams than they had classes.

Anna shrugged. "French on Monday but I don't have to study for that." When Nate looked confused she added. "I'm fluent." She almost laughed at his obvious admiration but instead continued. "This one is Tuesday and my other two are Wednesday and Friday."

Nate smiled slowly. "You're a really good friend, you know that right?"

Anna laughed, placing her hand on Nate's arm. "After your Thanksgiving rescue I think I owe you one."

"You don't owe me." Nate spoke, his voice growing serious. "That was one of the best days I've had in a really long time."

A slow smile spread across Anna's lips as she moved her hand to Nate's and squeezed it. "I'm really glad you came up to me that day outside of Econ. Your friendship has really meant a lot to me."

"Me too." Nate responded, feeling a tug of guilt in his gut that was new to him. For the first time it felt as though the secret that he was keeping from Anna was a betrayal rather than something he was doing for her.

Anna noticed as Nate's features tightened and felt her own brow crease with worry. "Are you okay?"

Nate pressed his lips together, she'd given him the perfect opening, if he was going to tell her, now was the time. "Look, Anna there's something I need to tell you..."

"Actually there's something I wanted to tell you too." Anna said drawing her feet onto the couch and tucking them under her.

Nate was instantly curious. He could see there was a certain seriousness in her gaze that wasn't always there. And after what he was going to tell her she'd probably kick him out, so if he was going to know what she wanted to say, he'd have to let her go first. "You first." He indicated softly, his gaze just barely meeting hers.

Anna nodded, Nate was always a gentleman like that. "You see the reason that I couldn't go with Chuck to his Thanksgiving plans is because I just so happen to look like his ex-girlfriend - Blair, who's parents were throwing the party."

Nate felt his eyebrows lift in surprise, this was not what he was expecting. What could she possibly be getting at?

"And Blair is totally MIA so he couldn't risk freaking them out by bringing me." She spoke softly. "Almost every friend I've made since coming to New York knew her, even my ex-boyfriend Diego knew her. And my friend's from high school - Lina's at Yale, Sam and I are still fighting, and things have been weird with Cassie for a few weeks."

Anna paused for a moment, inhaling before meeting Nate's gaze and continuing. "Sometimes it gets really hard not knowing for sure if they like me for me or because I look like her." She heard her voice crack and almost had to look away. "What I'm really trying to say is that it means a lot to me to have someone in my life that's just mine, that I don't have to share with the memory of some girl who left town. Because as much as I love Chuck and all the rest of my friends – you're the only one that I know for sure is in this just for me. So, I guess what I'm saying it...thank you for being that person."

With her words, all of Nate's resolve crumbled. That was what he'd wanted - it was all he'd ever wanted to give her but he hadn't realized it had meant so much to her. He couldn't take that away from her, no matter the consequences. "Wow." He spoke softly before pulling her against him into a half hug. "You mean a lot to me too." He added, his voice as steady as he could make it in the situation.

Pulling back Anna looked up at him, eyes shinning. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me. What was it you wanted to say?"

"Nothing important." Nate said, pulling her back against him and letting his hand run circles on her back. He hadn't realized quite how vulnerable she was until that moment and he had a feeling Chuck didn't realize it either. Knowing he was going to have to have a serious unpleasant conversation with Chuck he almost sighed, their lies were costing her so much more than any of them realized.

* * *

"I can't believe you got Eleanor Waldorf to forgive you." Pierce said with a smirk as she stood with Sam at the bottom of the steps.

Sam returned her smirk, if only half heartedly. She was quickly growing tired of the high school hierarchy. Sure it was nice to be Queen, to relaunch herself onto society and get a clean slate but it felt wrong. This was a part of her life that should be behind her. "It was easier than you'd think. Thanks to Nate Archibald anyway."

Pierce shrugged. "Another surprise you seemed to pull out of nowhere - the elusive Nathaniel Archibald. Jenny can't be happy you two are friends."

"Why?" Sam asked, suddenly curious, this was new information.

Pierce's eyes lit as she caught a whiff of another scandal brewing. "They used to date. One of them had to have told you that." Seeing the surprise on Sam's face she realized she really didn't know. "Wow...I mean it's not exactly a secret. They dated for like a year and hooked up for a while before that."

Sam was still struggling to get over her surprise when she realized there were probably a lot of things she still didn't know about Nate, well about everyone actually. "I thought she and Riley dated last year."

"I'm not sure I'd say that Jenny and Riley dated, but I guess you could call it that." Pierce spoke casually leaning against the railing at the bottom of the steps. "But Nate was before that. Jenny and Nate were kind of epic and that's all kind of tied up in the drama with Blair - it really brought Nate and Jenny together. I think Riley was probably Jenny's rebound when things with Nate spiraled."

"I see." Sam spoke, realizing that the link to Blair was probably why neither of them had mentioned it. People really didn't like talking about Blair around here, that much she knew. Sam was about to ask her about Nate's other relationships when a black town car pulled up in front of them. "Your ride?" Sam asked.

Before Pierce could answer, Fitz opened the door and stepped out, his eyes locking immediately with Sam's. Giving her quite the suggestive smile he walked over. Turning his head slightly towards Pierce he tilted his head towards the car. "I told the parental unit I'd pick you up today." Turning back to Sam he smiled. "Can we give you a lift?"

Sam stood for a moment, feeling the rush of power that boys who were interested in her always seemed to give her. "Sure, why not?" She said, her voice dropping ever so slightly.

"Where to?" Fitz asked, his hands sliding into his coat pockets.

"Towards Columbia, I'm going to see a friend." Sam said, noticing the charge that Fitz was giving off. She hadn't realized she'd made quite such an impression. She knew he liked her, he hadn't exactly been subtle in the weeks since Cotillion but this was an almost sexual charge.

Extending an arm to Sam, Fitz grinned. "Perfect, we were heading to my apartment anyway."

Nearby Pierce rolled her eyes, watching her friend link arms with her older brother. She'd brought this one on herself. Girls like this were kryptonite to Fitz and as she'd noted a million times before Fitz was everyones' type. "Okay let's go before you rip each other's clothes off in public."

Sam rolled her eyes playfully before sauntering towards the car. "The thought hadn't crossed my mind." She spoke, her tone unreadable.

Pierce looked over at her brother and saw it in his eyes. Whether or not Sam wanted to rip his clothes off might be up for debate but the same couldn't be said about him. No, her brother was a goner.

"After you ladies." Fitz said as he opened the car door, his voice only barely reflecting the fact that now all he could think about was Sam sans clothes. He wished he could make his sister disappear to be alone with Sam in the car – oh the things he wanted to do to her.

Sam shot Pierce a wink before allowing her to slide in first. Pierce returned her wink with a warning glance that read perfectly. _Play all you want but if you hurt my brother you have me to deal with_.

Somehow Sam managed to looked contrite as she gave Pierce an appropriately chastised nod to signify that the message had been received loud and clear.

When Fitz slid in he told the driver to head up towards Columbia and looked over to the girls, doing his best to behave as Sam sat so close to him he could smell the light scent she wore mingling in the air with her shampoo. Knowing he needed to distract himself he went for a topic he knew would do the trick. "So how was school?"

Pierce glared. "School was...school."

"And Freddie?" Fitz added with a smirk.

Pierce, who'd been texting as they drove felt her head snap upwards to meet Fitz's gaze. "Do Jim and Kat know?"

"The parentals." Fitz indicated toward a semi-confused looking Sam before looking back at Pierce. "No, they don't, but you should tell him not to send you things at home. You're lucky I was there to intercept today." He spoke, handing over an envelope.

Pierce pressed her lips together and exhaled, she hadn't been planning on filling Sam in on this just yet but if she didn't her friend would get curious and find out on her own. "The Freddie that my brother is referring to is Fredrick Cummings, also known as Mr. Cummings the AP English Lit teacher."

Sam forced her face to remain nonchalant as she shrugged. She wasn't exactly one to shy away from inappropriate contact with teachers herself, but Pierce didn't need to know that. "And?"

Pierce smiled, knowing she'd finally found another girl at Constance worth her confidence. "And Freddie and I were caught last year in my bedroom by Kat."

Fitz almost laughed as he added. "It should be said that mother dearest was really checking because she was playing hide and seek with her lover, you might know him as Cadence Schuler's father. He happened to stumble into the room at hearing our mother's scream of shock, worried that something had happened. Which created quite the clusterfuck."

Sam felt herself smiling, these people made her family issues look like childsplay. "So I'm guessing your parents offered a deal. Freddie keeps his job and you don't get shipped off to boarding school in exchange for keeping quiet about your mother's and Cadence's father's own goings on – all on the condition that your little tryst ended."

"Precisely." Pierce said with a smirk.

Sam actually laughed aloud. "The affair never stopped did it."

Pierce smiled dangerously. "Oh it stopped, for about 36 hours. But Kat doesn't have a leg to stand on in all this – it's not like she stopped her affair. It's double blackmail, it works both ways."

"What I can't work out is how you're getting away with it? Freddie's still married isn't he?" Fitz asked genuinely curious.

Pierce rolled her eyes. "Yes he's still married to that wretched woman, though I doubt it will stay that way for much longer. She really is heinous. As for how we're managing it, we weren't exactly being discrete before - now we are."

"I don't call this being discrete." Fitz said, gesturing to the envelope.

Sighing Pierce took out her phone. "Yes, Freddie and I will have to have a conversation about this." Sending Freddie a text she looked back at Fitz and Sam. "But regardless I think it's just easier keeping everything quiet – even if Kat's just a hypocrite." Making eye contact with Sam she shrugged. "We have some parental issues in our family."

Looking between the siblings Sam smiled, this was the first time she'd felt genuinely comfortable in a while – she'd certainly missed having friends close enough to talk about the real stuff. She wondered for a minute if the reason Fitz and Sam were so close was because of something their parents had done. "Well if it helps, the reason I'm repeating my senior year is because I skipped half my classes in high school, had my dreams continually stomped on by my parents, and got rejected by Dartmouth – my entire family's alma matre."

Both heads snapped towards her and Sam smiled. "Trust me I'm over it. My _delightful _parents made a few phone calls and Dartmouth agreed that if I show a strong GPA this year, actually have high enough attendance to earn a passing grade and score above a 2200 on my SAT's I'll be a part of the class of 2015."

"But that isn't what you want." Fitz stated perceptively.

"No it's not." Sam spoke softly. "Which is why I'm using this year to try to prove to my parents that I can do both if they'll let me."

Pierce tilted her head in observation. "Design and school?"

Sam nodded. "It wouldn't have to be design, honestly I'd take modeling, acting, singing, or dancing as other options but fashion is my favorite."

"You think you're that talented?" Pierce asked with raised eyebrows, refusing pretense.

Sam smirked. "Yes, I do." Making eye contact with her friend she continued. "I'm hoping they'll accept NYU as an acceptable alternative to Dartmouth though it's doubtful. I'm not even going to try to convince them to let me go to Parsons."

Fitz laughed to himself as he listened to the two girls. "What about Columbia? It's probably not your first choice, but it would keep you in the city."

Sam shook her head. "That my parents would probably agree to but there's no way I could get in - not with my transcripts. Dartmouth is a family tradition, they are quite fond of the amount my parents donate. Columbia wouldn't be so easily persuaded."

Rolling his lips, Fitz looked down where his hand sat so close to hers before looking back up. He shouldn't say this even around Pierce, but especially not around Sam. "I have considerable pull at Columbia. I could...make a call."

Pierce rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. Only Fitz was brazen enough to use his Fellow's status to flirt with a girl.

Sam tilted her head slightly. She knew who Fitz was of course - between Anna and Nate she knew a lot more than Fitz was aware of. "Enough to get me admitted?"

Fitz smirked. "I could get your cat admitted. Besides you're smart if you'd apply yourself. It would be a good use of my sway."

"Because you're the President of the Fellows?" Sam asked, the slightest of smirks flickering over her lips.

Fitz's eyes lit up in surprise. He would have said something to Pierce but from one look at his little sister he could see she was just as surprised. "You shouldn't know that...And I'm not the _President_ per say."

Sam's smirk widened. "I know a lot of things I shouldn't know."

"You're trouble aren't you?" Fitz spoke, his eyes lighting in a different way, feeling himself draw imperceptibly closer to Sam.

Smiling Sam met his gaze directly, feeling a pulse of the magnetic energy she'd felt earlier from him once more. This time she reciprocated. "I'm 100 kinds of trouble. Think you can handle it?"

"I'm willing to try." He spoke, feeling his voice drop as leaned in closer to Sam.

"Still sitting here." Pierce spoke, holding up a hand in protest.

Sam smirked, leaning towards Fitz before shifting her face towards the driver. Leaning forwards she gave the driver the address before leaning back in her seat and looking at the Hamilton siblings. One who looked annoyed, the other who looked completely intrigued.

Smiling Sam looked between them before her gaze landed on Fitz. "First of all, I'm not that easy to tie down, so you might want to rethink that." Then she turned to Pierce and spoke a few quick words. "You have the trump card. It's your call."

Fitz looked between the two girls, unsure of what had just been said. He was pretty sure that Sam had just told him that he was welcome to chase her but he might not want to; as for what she'd told his sister he had no idea. Before he could question it he felt the car slow to a stop.

Opening the car door, he offered his hand to Sam, helping her from the car with the intention of walking her to the door.

Sam smiled to herself, wondering just how this situation would play out as she let Fitz lead her towards the apartment building.

Fitz squeezed her hand as they approached the door, about to say something incredibly sweet and endearing when he felt a flash of recognition. "Isn't this..."

Before Fitz could finish what he was saying the door opened and Nate stepped out, a contented smirk on his face. Oh he did love besting Fitz - it was quickly turning into a pastime of his. "Hello Fitz, fancy seeing you here."

Sam felt his hand tighten on hers and she had to work to hold back a smirk, oh this was too good. She could practically taste the tension between the two. "Fitz was nice enough to offer me a lift when I told him I was going to see a friend."

"That was nice of him." Nate responded with a smile. "Though I would have been happy to send a car."

Fitz could hear the slight tension in Nate's words, he wasn't happy about the fact that he'd brought Sam here, that was interesting. "I'm happy to pick Sam up anytime."

"Sam's perfectly capable of arranging her own transportation." Nate spoke, his posture stiffening.

Sam looked between the two in surprise at how quickly this was escalating. She knew that Fitz was into her and that Nate was confused about where they stood, but their rivalry in the Fellows must have been bleeding through for it to become so heated. "Sam's standing right here. And she knows how to take a cab."

Both boys seemed to blink out of their stare and look to her. Fitz spoke first. "Of course, I should go. You have my number." He added quickly.

"Thanks for the lift." She spoke sincerely before pulling him into a quick hug, allowing her lips to graze his jaw. Pulling back she took a step away and linked her arm with Nate's.

Watching Fitz walk back to the town car Nate turned his head towards Sam. "Well that was interesting. You could have given me the heads up on what I was walking into."

Sam laughed. "I didn't realize I would start a pissing contest."

Nate glared in a way that let her know that he knew she wasn't quite so innocent.

"Okay, so maybe I knew there'd be some tension but good lord I thought one of you was just going to whip it out and pee on me to mark their territory." Sam said, still laughing as Nate led her into the building.

Nate rolled his eyes as they stood in the elevator. "I think you like pitting us against each other - it's the third time you've done that since Cotillion."

"What, no it isn't." She spoke with a shake of her head, thinking back over the last month...was it?

Nate held up his fingers as he tallied off. "Today, last week when we were getting coffee at Starbucks and he came to get you to drive you to his sister's, and the day you were having lunch with him and called me to meet you - outside his apartment no less."

Sam pressed her lips together guiltily. "Okay so maybe I like watching how uncomfortable the two of you get around each other but I swear it's all in good fun."

"Is there … you know something going on with you and Fitz?" Nate asked as they walked into his apartment unaware of the grumbling tone in his voice.

Sam glanced back at him over her shoulder and smiled bemused. "Nothing as of yet…why?"

Nate couldn't stop the frown that slipped across his face as he observed Sam. It was only then that he realized the way he was acting – like a little boy who was arguing over a toy. He only got like that over girls he really liked. He didn't actually _like_ Sam, did he? Not like that. Except looking at her now, her flaming hair, her tiny waist, the way her hips curved in those jeans, and those legs that seemed to go for days - looking at her made his heart pound and his pulse race. Jesus he was in over his head.

For a moment he wasn't sure what to say – there were so many different feelings rushing through him, surprise at his reaction to the fact that there might be something going on between Fitz and Sam, confusion because it was unexpected and he'd just been thinking that he'd started to fall for Anna, and always at the back of his heart were the pieces that belonged to Serena and Blair. "I'm not sure."

That was an interesting turn. She thought this had just been about his and Fitz's rivalry, she enjoyed messing with the boys and making them uncomfortable. She hadn't realized that at some point this hadn't been about Nate and Fitz, so much as it had been about her. Her mind must have been completely preoccupied with other things not to have noticed the switch.

He wanted to tell her not to be with Fitz, that he wasn't a good guy or that he wasn't a good boyfriend; but he knew Fitz well enough to know that wasn't true. Fitz was the kind of boyfriend every girl wanted - the one that made the rest of them look bad.

Turning and walking towards Nate, Sam put her hand on his shoulder, running her thumb along his clavicle. "Nate, how do you feel about Anna?"

Pressing his lips together Nate felt his head drop down slightly, his brow pulled tightly. He was perplexed at her change in subject but he went with it, he'd never seen her quite so serious. "I really care about her but she doesn't think about me like I think about her. And she's with Chuck."

Shaking her head Sam bit her lip. "You have to separate them in your mind Nate – you're not doing it."

Nate met her gaze, confused as to what she was talking about. "Anna's relationship with Chuck is pretty much the ultimate roadblock. I'm not sure what you mean – separate them."

"Yes you do." Sam interrupted, moving her other hand to his other shoulder.

As Sam spoke, Nate began to realize what she meant, she wasn't talking about Chuck and Anna – she was talking about Anna and Blair.

Nodding now that Nate seemed to get what she was saying, Sam continued. "Tell me what you like about Anna, tell me how you feel about her – not how you feel about Blair."

"She's wicked smart and witty; but while she can cut you to the quick, she's more likely to build you up. She's so completely genuine in everything she does and she cares about everyone. She's one of those people that just makes you want to be around her, she warms up a room, and really she's such a great friend." Nate said with a warm smile.

Again Sam nodded. "Now how did you feel about Blair – what was it that you loved about her?"

This time Nate's smile dimmed at first. "She was my first love; we were supposed to spend forever together." Exhaling he remembered the small intricacies of their relationship. "She used to take care of me, the first time we weren't together I ended up a little lost."

"She had that same wittiness that Anna does and she could be cruel. I mean she could socially destroy you with hardly any effort or cut you to the quick with one glance. But once you were one of her people that was it – her loyalty was unmatched by anyone I've ever seen." His smile began to brighten. "She was always in control of everything around her – Blair never left anything up to chance. She could command an audience with the lift of an eyebrow; everything about her was absolute perfection. Except those brilliant moments where she let everything go – those moments were the most incredible of all."

Smiling sadly Sam leaned forwards and placed her forehead against Nate's chest for a moment, unable to meet his gaze. No one had ever talked about her the way Nate had just spoken about Blair. Inhaling she looked up and spoke, her voice softer than she usually allowed it to be. "You're still in love with Blair; but you're not in love with Anna."

Nate looked at her in momentary bemusement but as her words infiltrated his consciousness he seemed to understand what she was saying. His heartbeat began to quicken as the words sank in. He was still so in love with her, but Sam wasn't wrong. "Sometimes they are so alike that I think I am but…"

"But you're not." Sam cut in, her voice more open and vulnerable than she let most people ever see.

"But I'm not." Nate finished with a smile to himself. It was as though fog that had been filling his mind for months had dissipated and for the first time he could see things the way they were. Anna was a good friend – no, a great friend – but what he felt for her was nothing past that. Those were just residuals left from his relationship with Blair. Looking at Sam he smiled. "How did you…?"

Returning his smile softly, Sam exhaled. "I've always been good at sensing where a guy's head was, especially when he's with me and his mind's somewhere else. I could see you were confused."

"Thank you." Nate spoke with an exhale as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a hug.

Sam hugged him back for a moment, not denying the tingling in her spine or the warmth in her chest that she felt. Stepping back she looked up at Nate, her face serious. "I think you need time to sort out your feelings and make sure things are settled where they should be; but if you ask me not to start something with Fitz, I won't."

Nate's eyes brightened with the realization of what Sam was saying, she was giving him an out and he wasn't about to let that slip by. "Don't start something with Fitz."

Nodding, Sam gave Nate a half smile before she moved to sit down, they'd been standing for quite some time. Picking up the remote for the Apple TV she logged into Netflix and started scrolling. "We just finished the third episode of Walking Dead right."

"Right." Nate spoke, smiling to himself at the way she'd returned so quickly to their normal air of friendship as though that conversation hadn't happened at all. She seemed content to let him figure things out and work from there which was something that was so rare – most girls would be hounding him or acting like something had changed – Sam was different, maybe from anyone he'd ever met.

He was about to take a seat next to her when he heard his iPhone going off – that sounded suspiciously like his Facetime ringtone. "What time is it?" He asked Sam, quickly realizing that today was Monday – exams had his internal calendar all messed up.

"Uhhh six I think." Sam responded, confused.

Eyes wide Nate cursed loudly. Looking at Sam he bit his lip momentarily, debating how much he could trust her. "I have a Facetime chat every Monday at 6pm with Eric, Chuck, and Serena – to you know check in."

"Do you want me to leave?" Sam offered sincerely as his phone began to ring again.

Nate shook his head. "No it's fine; you know everything there is to know. Just don't let them know you're here okay?"

"Okay, I'll stay right over here." Sam said, cozying up on the couch quietly. She put on her headphones as though she were listening to her iPod but she didn't turn on the music. She wanted Nate to be comfortable but she still wanted to hear what was going on.

Nate smiled before answering the third ring of the phone. "Sorry guys, I forgot it was Monday because of exams."

Eric, Serena, and Chuck all grumbled their ascent. Even Chuck had Finals from the night classes he was taking but his weren't so bad, only 3 rather than the load everyone else was taking. "Mine are almost done, last one's tomorrow." He said from the comfort of his car.

Serena rolled her eyes – her apartment bedroom clearly visible behind her. "I only had one sit in, the rest were projects or papers."

"Lucky." Eric spoke, his voice strained.

Nate laughed, he could see the coffee cups piled behind him on the desk, the kid was probably wired.

"It's not funny." Eric replied crossly. "I have like 6 exams, 3 papers, and a presentation, this sucks."

Serena smiled. "Freshman year is like that everywhere – it gets better when you get past your Gen Eds."

"When was the last time you slept?" Chuck asked, noting the strange way Eric seemed to bounce and his reddened eyes.

Eric laughed shakily. "Not really sure. Too much to do, no time for sleep."

Chuck smirked. "Adderall is your friend little brother, don't shy away from it."

"CHUCK!" Serena exclaimed. "Don't encourage my little brother to do drugs."

Nate laughed shaking his head at all of them. "Don't act like you haven't done your share of Addy, S."

Rolling his lips, Nate decided just to dive in with what he wanted to ask Chuck – the rest of them would catch on soon enough. "Speaking of drugs Chuck, was Anna on something at the ball? I know they have a pretty wide selection but she was acting…"

"Like Blair." Chuck responded with a nod. "Yeah I thought the same thing."

Serena blinked a couple of times before registering the change in subject. "Wait…I'm missing something aren't I?"

Chuck shrugged while Nate nodded, both noticing that Eric had remained quiet though he still seemed jittery, leading them both to realize that the he'd already known about Nate and Anna's friendship. Chuck stayed quiet deciding to let Nate handle this, since the ball was in his court.

"Yes I know Anna." Nate supplied. "Anna doesn't know…that I knew Blair. I didn't lead with that and I didn't want to hurt her later by telling her. I didn't realize how much it meant to her to have someone as her friend that wasn't connected to Blair until recently – and I don't want to take that away from her. So I'm sorry that I've lied to all of you about it but I'm not sorry about what I've done."

Everyone's eyes widened including Sam's, that had been such a heartfelt little speech Nate had given. Sam had to hold back a smile, she liked that he cared about Anna but at the same time she found herself glad that he'd begun to realize that he might care about her too.

Eric shook his head before giving a quick sigh. "I'm staying out of all of this. Chuck, Serena, Nate - it's up to you guys what you want to tell Anna. I won't get in the middle of it."

Chuck nodded before looking down then back up at the camera. "I'm staying out of it too Nate. She cares about your friendship, I'm not going to take that from her; but if she ever asks I won't lie to her." He added with slight warning. "As long as it's completely platonic."

"Deal." Nate spoke with a quick nod. "I won't lie, I've been confused about my feelings and its taken some time, but what I feel for Anna is nothing more than friendship."

Serena who'd stayed mostly quiet as she gathered her words looked at the camera and frowned. "So you haven't changed much at all have you Nate?"

Everyone was alerted by the snap in her voice, no one had expected the emotional outburst to come from Serena and now they were all glued to their screens in surprise. "What do you mean S?" Nate asked warily.

"I mean the fact that girls are like shiny new toys to you – they have been for as long as I've known you. The fact that you're 'over' Anna only really means that you've found a new toy." She spat.

Nate flushed red at Serena's words, embarrassed because Sam was in the room hearing them and embarrassed because those words definitely used to be true - he didn't speak as his mind was considering whether or not it was possible that they still were.

"Serena." Chuck said with concerned eyes. He hadn't realized that Serena still felt so strongly about Nate, but it was clear from her tone that she did. This was one of those moments where he wished he could share a private glance with Eric but he knew he couldn't. "I didn't agree with Nate's decision but I can't fault him for it."

Pressing her lips together Serena frowned. "As the original shiny toy, I think I can. Besides, I bet I can guess in one try exactly who's taken his mind off Anna – starts with an S and ends with an AM."

Eric exhaled, knowing this was getting testy, much more so than their usual weekly catch-ups, but no one even seemed to notice. He could see that as engaged as Nate and Serena were, Chuck was almost disinterested - as though he had other things occupying his mind.

Sam's eyes widened as she looked at Nate from the side. She could tell he was trying his hardest not to look at her and say something so she walked over on the other side of the table - so that he could see her and they couldn't - and mouthed. "It's okay." Even though she wasn't sure it was.

This was the first time she'd really been aware of his past with Serena and it appeared as though as far as Serena was concerned, it wasn't really the past at all. Add what she'd learned about Nate and Jenny earlier today it really appeared as though there was a lot in Nate's past, especially his romantic past, that she didn't know.

Nate exhaled with relief but did his best to do nothing to tip the rest of them off to Sam's presence in his room. "As fun as this has been I think it's time I go. I have an Econ exam tomorrow that I should be studying for."

The other's nodded understandingly and said their goodbyes as Nate logged off – with the exception of Serena of course.

Setting down his iPhone Nate turned to Sam who'd returned to the couch and gave a small half smile. "Go ahead and ask."

Sam laughed and shook her head. "Tell me what you want me to know. You don't have to keep secrets from me. You can if you want to, but you don't have to."

Nate opened his mouth, about to let words he definitely wasn't ready to say slip from his lips. Instead he came and took a seat next to her. "I want you to know everything." He spoke, completely sincere.

Sam's eyes widened briefly in surprise at his earnest tone. It filled her with different levels of both happiness and uncertainty. This was unexpected and completely unintended, she felt like they were suddenly in freefall but she didn't want it to stop. "I want to know everything." She returned with an exhale.

Smiling slightly at the warmth building inside of him he dove in head first. "I was a bit of a man-whore in my youth. I mean once I accepted money from a married woman in exchange for sex."

Again Sam laughed, the sound seeming to fill the room. "With your looks mixed with teenaged hormones I don't know that I blame you."

Nate couldn't help but smile at her, she was just so incredibly free – it was more than refreshing, it was soothing. "Well let's just say what Serena said wasn't completely unfounded, I had a tendency to sleep with most girls I knew – and Serena was right about part of it being the appeal of something new. I was tied to Blair since infancy; I always thought that I wanted something else."

Sam nodded in understanding. "And Serena, Blair's best friend was that shiny new something."

"Exactly." Nate spoke his voice warm at the memories. "Then once I'd lost Blair I realized that she was the one I'd really wanted. This pattern would go on to repeat itself…multiple times."

"Until she died?" Sam asked quietly, her voice carrying as much sympathy as it ever had.

Nate nodded. "Since then it hasn't been like that. Serena still thinks we have something but for me those feelings are all tied up with my feelings for Blair and our past amongst other things. And it's not fair to her, but I just can't go there."

"Was your relationship with Jenny tied to the same stuff?" Sam asked, knowing it was pointless to have pretenses when they were being so open about everything else.

Nate didn't question how she knew about Jenny, they had enough friends in common that it wasn't a surprise. Speaking slowly, his brow furrowed in concentration Nate answered her. "Yes and no. Jenny was what came after - honestly it was almost like coming up for air with her. She helped me through losing Blair in a way Serena couldn't. So in ways Jen was a part of all that mess but in other ways she was the solution."

Sam reached over and took Nate's hand – inhaling deeply before speaking. "When I was in eighth grade, I was at a party, we were playing 7 minutes in Heaven. Afterwards, even though nothing had happened, the guy told the entire school I'd given him my virginity. And somehow I became the girl everyone had slept with because no guy wanted to admit that I'd turned them down."

"Sam…" Nate started, concern etched in his features.

Sam shook her head and smiled. "I learned to embrace it. But the thing was, the whole time there was only one guy I really wanted. It just so happens that that one guy wanted my best friend."

"Diego?" Nate asked curiously.

Sam nodded. "The night I actually lost my virginity was to Anna's boyfriend Jackson and for the first time, in a very long time I felt in control." Exhaling she looked up to see if Nate was disgusted by her; when all she saw was warmth in his eyes she continued. "So after that I used sex as a tool whenever I felt myself spiraling. I became the thing that everyone always said I was."

"It makes sense now why you slept with Diego." Nate spoke his voice understanding even as he felt the tiniest bit of panic - was she still in love with Diego? She hadn't said so but she'd slept with him so recently. He knew from experience that feelings like that didn't just go away.

Sam gave him a small half smile. "It wasn't about that with Diego...not anymore. He was hurting, I was hurting. That's it." She said with a shrug. "It was right after Anna had found out about Jackson I thought I'd lost my best friend for good and I just didn't want to feel anymore."

"I know what you mean." Nate spoke thinking back to girl after girl that he'd been with just for something to do. Reaching over he turned Sam's head, leaving his hand on her face. Tracing his thumb along her jaw he smiled. "I'm really glad I met you."

Sam couldn't help but return his smile - that charm was irresistible. Inhaling she found herself letting her forehead fall against his.

Nate was almost shaking as he breathed her in, her hair falling like flaming curtains on either side of their faces. All he wanted to do was kiss her but instead he pulled up, placing the softest of kisses on her forehead.

"Thank you." Sam breathed moving back to meet his gaze.

Nate looked at her confused as he pushed her hair back with both of his hands. "What are you thanking me for?"

Sam smiled slowly, a slight crookedness to it as she met Nate's warm gaze, feeling for the first time the hint of something very real, something she wasn't sure she'd ever felt before. "Thank you for not kissing me when you know you're not ready."

Exhaling, Nate leaned back onto the couch. "Fuck, this is going to be hard isn't it."

"Please," Sam said with a scoff. "I'm the one who has to let Fitz down seemingly for no reason. And I get the feeling that boy is not used to being told no."

Nate couldn't help but laugh as he looked over at her. "No I don't envy you that."

"Le sigh." Sam said with mock exhaustion before pressing play on the control and settling in for the next installment in what had become their most recent TV obsession. She was aware that Nate was looking at her out of the corner of his eye but she couldn't break - she wasn't going to be with him until she was sure that he wasn't going to break her, not when she suddenly felt so vulnerable.

* * *

"Someone was definitely in Nate's apartment." Eric said, the jitters still affecting his normally reserved persona as words seemed to bubble from his mouth.

Chuck nodded, amused at his little brother. "I thought the same."

"He was letting someone listen to our Facetime?" Serena asked in surprise, her bitterness over the end of the conversation showing through.

"I'm fairly certain it was Sam." Chuck added with a shrug - the redhead knew a lot for someone who was supposed to be out of the loop and from what he knew Nate was still spending a lot of time with her.

Eric nodded quickly as he took another sip out of one of several coffee cups around him. "Yep, most definitely Sam. Did you see how red he flushed when Serena mentioned her. HA. Also she knows basically everything about everything – other than the fact that Anna actually is Blair."

"Really…how interesting." Chuck spoke, his voice low. Sam was a factor he hadn't quite anticipated and she was kind of a free radical thrown into the equation. He didn't much care for that because he knew it was something he wouldn't be able to control.

Serena was mildly alarmed at how much she'd revealed in front of someone she barely knew but she supposed that was Nate's own fault for letting her listen. Now she couldn't help but smile at Eric's behavior - she'd never seen him so hyped up. "Who's going to conference in Cassie? I don't have her number."

"Got it." Chuck said, pressing the necessary keys to add her to the conversation before sitting back and waiting. Ever since they'd found out about Anna actually being Blair they'd added a group-chat with Cassie on to the end of their regular Monday night check in.

Cassie forced a smile as she signed into the call; she was so not in the mood for this today. "Hey guys."

Each of them exchanged hellos before Eric cut straight to the point. "So what's the status report for the week?"

Cassie shrugged. "I haven't seen Anna in almost a week. We keep missing each other at the dorm, when she spends the night there." She said pointedly.

Chuck nodded. "Same for me actually. She's been busy with finals, she'll usually slip into bed late and leave before I'm up in the morning. I've barely seen her since the ball."

"I've only talked to her a couple of times." Eric spoke quickly. "But it sounds like Nate's seen quite a bit of her doesn't it?"

"Nate's in her econ class, so I'm not surprised." Cassie said with a shrug before noticing the strange looks on everyone's faces. "Wait...how do you guys know Nate? Is it from the Fellows-thing?"

Serena shook her head before exhaling. "Nate is one of our best friends. A fact of which Anna's unaware. This only recently became known to us. And for the record - I'm not sure I believe him when he claims he's not interested in her romantically - are you?"

Chuck paused for a moment, knowing they were all waiting on him to speak. But he wanted to gather his words carefully. "At first I think Nate thought he was interested. Even as recently as Thanksgiving he issued a little challenge to me. I don't think he would have backed off if he didn't mean it. Something's changed."

"Interesting." Cassie spoke quietly. "Honestly I haven't seen them together that much recently but Anna's totally friend-zoned him anyway so it doesn't really matter."

"Should we tell him?" Serena asked, the bitterness finally leaving her voice, leaving it sounding almost raw. "Now that he's involved should we tell him?"

Eric pressed his lips together biding his time as he waited for the other's answers.

"No." Cassie spoke quickly. "The more people we tell, the harder this gets to keep quiet."

Exhaling Chuck looked down before looking back at the camera. "I'm not sure anymore. Maybe he's doing more damage by not knowing."

"Let's give it until Aspen." Eric responded. "It's only another week and once we're all together again we can make a decision. Also it's got to be in person since we clearly can't trust Nate to keep our Facetime's to himself."

Everyone seemed to nod their agreement, even Cassie who wasn't really in favor of the plan. She knew though that she wasn't the one in control. "I actually need to go, if there's nothing else to discuss tonight. I have an exam in the AM."

Eric nodded. "I think we're good." After Cassie signed off Eric sighed. "So did you invite Blair to Aspen yet?"

Serena looked curiously at her brothers. She was excited by the prospect of Blair joining them, it might finally give them some time to hang out.

Chuck nodded. "I did, but she's still thinking about it. Her family wants her to come home."

"But we're her family..." Serena said, a slight whine entering her voice.

"I know." Chuck replied a twinge of sadness in his voice. He wanted her back, the real her, and right now this was starting to wear him down.

"I hate this." Serena spoke softly before looking away from the camera. Looking back at the guys, everyone's mood so much more somber she shook her head. "I should go too, one of these papers is due tomorrow."

Sighing Eric nodded. "Later sis."

"Talk to you later guys. Good luck with your exams." She said, her voice almost monotone as she hung up.

When it was just Chuck and Eric on the line Chuck smirked. "So there's something I need to talk to you about."

"What is it?" Eric asked as he started another cup of coffee in the Krueig. "I'm still listening." He called out, as he put down his phone in order to use both hands on the coffee maker.

Chuck laughed as he came to a stop. "Well then open your door and let me in."

* * *

Anna furrowed her brow as she tried to work through the problem in front of her. Statistics was not her best subject that was for sure. Looking over at her phone she contemplated for probably the tenth time whether or not she should call Diego and ask for his help – that was after all why she'd signed up for the class with him before they were together.

She forced her eyes back to the problem in front of her. Her Stats exam was in four days, she wasn't going to call Diego and she didn't have time to think about it. She'd already been in the library for two hours today trying to finish this practice exam and she was only half way through.

"Is this seat taken?" Diego asked, his voice low as he leaned against the chair next to Anna in the library. He could tell she'd been working on Stats by the frustration etched on her features the moment he'd spotted her in the library. He knew better than anyone how little she liked the subject.

Anna jumped in surprise at the sound of Diego's voice, thinking for a moment she'd imagined it. Turning her head, she met his dark gaze and was shocked that her heart gave its own little jump. Seeing him after so long was a bit of a shock to her system, she'd attended a different Stats lecture since the breakup so she didn't have to see him, and somehow she'd forgotten just how commanding a presence he was.

Physiological response aside she couldn't be around Diego, too much had happened there. "That's not a good idea." She spoke, with a shake of her head.

Diego made a small scoffing sound as he pulled out the chair in front of him anyway – slinging his bag down as he took a seat. "Come on Anna, you're working on Stats, you need me."

She narrowed her eyes. She wasn't sure how Diego had known what she was working on but it didn't matter, she couldn't cave. He broke his promise to her, even though he'd helped her out during the ball that didn't change anything. "I don't need anything from you."

"That's not what you were saying when you called me last week." Diego spoke leaning towards her to keep his voice low. "Besides I already worked out all the problems on the practice test." He spoke pulling it out and setting it in front of her.

Anna rolled her eyes. "That was a onetime thing and I told you then that it didn't change anything between us." But that didn't stop her from picking up the test and placing it with her things, though she didn't acknowledge that she'd done it.

"Since you didn't call me back, I assume you didn't get yourself in trouble." Diego said pointedly reminding her of her promise as he pulled out his statistics books.

Anna exhaled. "As I said then, everything was under control. I called him and asked him what it might be worth to his boss to know the location of someone they've been looking for. I told him I didn't know at that point but that if I encountered her again I'd be sure to let him know."

Diego narrowed his eyes slightly in frustration. "That's still not smart Anna - you do realize that if Dimitri ever needs to get in good with his boss he might try to find you and put pressure to find this person? Who is it anyway?"

"I know it wasn't smart okay? I'd had a little too much and wasn't really myself." She spoke, her voice lowering. "And the girl's Georgina Sparks, not that you'd know her."

Actually Diego did know Georgie but he shrugged it off, now was not the time to get into that with Anna. But as he thought more about what she said his brows pulled inward. She hadn't sounded impaired in the slightest. "You sounded fine on the phone when we spoke. I know you Anna you weren't drunk."

Exhaling she pressed her lips together, this wasn't really a conversation she wanted to be having with Diego. "I wasn't drunk...well maybe a little tipsy."

"You were doing drugs!" Diego hissed. What the hell, the one thing he expected from Chuck was that he protect her, was that too much to ask? "Jesus Anna."

Anna's eyes narrowed instantly as she became defensive. "It's none of your business what I do or don't do Diego, when are you going to figure that out?"

Diego knew better, he knew he should back down but he couldn't help it. "Not by choice. I care about you Anna; hell I'm still in love with you." Slamming his fist down on the table he hissed his next words through bared teeth. "I want you safe."

"You say that like I was ever safe with you." Anna spat in response.

_**Do you remember  
The day I turned to you and said  
I didn't like the way he was looking at you, yeah.**_

Diego had to hold back a groan. "I'm sorry about that Anna, you know that and you know that I would never have taken you there if I thought you were in danger. I was scared of what would happen if I left you with Chuck while you were vulnerable. Guess I was right to be worried."

"Oh please. You can't blame Chuck for what you did." Anna said with a patronizing glance.

Seeing that the librarian was glaring at them Diego took her by the elbow and began leading her towards the back of the library.

"What the hell Diego?" Anna hissed as he led her to the back of the stacks. It wasn't that she was afraid of Diego, she knew he wouldn't hurt her but she didn't want to be alone with him for reasons of her own.

_**How it made you laugh  
You just couldn't get what I was sayin'  
It was my imagination.**_

Glaring at her almost as though he were offended he spoke, his words clear now that they were away from those studying. "I just want to talk for a few minutes, clearly there's some things that have gone unsaid."

"Fine." She snapped crossing her arms defiantly over her chest. "Talk."

Exhaling Diego leaned against the stacks and looked at her. "You're right. I can't blame Chuck for what I did. I was selfish and jealous and it's my fault that you got hurt."

"No kidding." She spat childishly, putting up every defense she knew because she knew what she'd be risking if she forgave him enough. She loved Chuck more than anything but she knew that part of her was still attracted to Diego and that was dangerous when they were alone.

_**So do you believe me now?  
I guess I really wasn't that crazy  
And I knew what I was talking 'bout**_

Glancing at her, Diego shook his head. "You're better than that Anna." He knew she knew he was referring to her attitude, not her actions but was still surprised when he saw her uncross her arms. "All I'm saying is that you clearly weren't being honest with me even before things got bad because the second I fucked up Chuck was stepping in in my place."

Anna shook her head slowly. "That's not what happened..."

"That's exactly what happened." Diego corrected, his gaze intense. "You made me feel like a paranoid jerk for feeling intimidated by Chuck. You guilted me into brushing it aside."

_**Every time the sun goes down  
He's the one that's holdin' you, baby  
Yeah, and me I'm missing you way across town  
So do you believe me now?**_

"I didn't mean..." Anna started only to be interrupted again.

Sighing Diego shook his head. "Yes you did. Don't you remember the number of times you promised I didn't have anything to worry about, the number of times you told me you loved me?"

Swallowing Anna looked away. Every single time she'd been caught in a compromising position - when he'd seen her dancing with Chuck, when she'd ditched her lunch date and told Diego she loved him, and when he'd found her in bed asleep with Chuck - she'd talked her way out of it. She'd convinced him they were solid, that nothing could break them, that she was in love with him.

_**I'm kickin' myself  
For being the one foolish enough  
Givin' him the chance to step in my shoes**_

Diego nodded grimly. "I see you do remember."

"It doesn't change anything." Anna responded still not meeting his gaze.

But even as she spoke she knew Diego wasn't entirely wrong. She'd done it. She'd warmed up the next pitcher while he was still in the game. Her memory flickered through the little stolen moments with Chuck, kissing on the dance floor at Marquee, seducing him for truth or dare, the friend's date they'd spent together, their stolen lunches,and that last kiss in the bathroom of the Met where she'd almost given herself to him.

_**He was bidin' his time  
When he saw our love was having a moment of weakness  
He was there between us.**_

"I know. The hardest part is that it was my fault." He spoke shaking his head. He was aware that he'd drawn her eyes back to his face, but this time he didn't quite meet hers.

"I knew he was just waiting for me to mess it up. He planned everything so carefully, being your friend, your confidant. And he was there to save you, he was there to pick up the pieces, ready to step in just as I messed up. If not for him you might have forgiven me." He finished looking back towards her as he did.

Anna's eyes dropped down to her hands as more images flashed before her eyes. Flirting in High School Chem Lab, kissing in her parents living room, their forbidden tryst at Senior Beach Week. And then more recently, the first time he asked her to try again, when he opened up about his father, kissing him in the photo booth, his very Diego-way of taking care of her. She didn't know if she would have forgiven him but she sure as hell didn't give him an hours chance.

_**So do you believe me now?  
I guess I really wasn't that crazy  
And I knew what I was talking 'bout**_

When he saw her eyes drop again he felt his stomach clench. "It doesn't even feel good to be right."

Looking back up Anna met Diego's pained gaze. "What do you mean?"

Diego shrugged. "I mean there's no point to it. Being right doesn't get me you."

Exhaling, Anna didn't know what to say. She couldn't say he wasn't right about pretty much everything she couldn't even try to argue but it didn't change the way things were now.

_**Every time the sun goes down  
He's the one that's holdin' you, baby  
Yeah, and me I'm missing you way across town  
So do you believe me now?**_

"Tell me you're safe." Diego spoke softly and intensely. "Tell me that he'd never let anything bad happen to you, that he'd never even risk it. Please."

Anna was surprised by the desperate tone in Diego's voice. He sounded almost as though he was struggling to hold on. Concerned she took a step forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. Looking in his eyes she could see the pain warring inside them that almost made her heart break. "I'm okay, you know. About what happened, I mean. It was hard and sometimes flashes of it hit me but I'm strong Gutierrez. I'm okay."

"Okay." Diego spoke, trying to steady his voice.

"Okay." Anna replied, assuredly. Letting her hand drop from his shoulder.

_**I'll bet now you see the light  
What's the use in being right?  
When I'm the lonely one tonight.**_

As her hand slid off his shoulder Diego took it seamlessly in his. "If I thought you weren't safe or you weren't happy I would fight for you. The only reason I didn't was because I thought that Chuck would keep you safe in a way that I'd become incapable of doing."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I really am." Anna spoke quietly as she reached into her purse and withdrew something from the pocket before adding. "But I'm not sure I'd ever forgive you with or without Chuck." As she spoke she took the necklace and placed it in Diego's hand. "I don't think I should keep this."

"It was a present." Diego responded, the hurt immediately shining in his gaze once more.

_**Yeah, So do you believe me now,  
Yeah, every time the sun goes down.  
He's the one that's holdin' you baby  
Yeah, and me I'm missing you way across town**_

Anna nodded. "You shouldn't give it to me. You should give it to someone who only loves you."

Diego took a step closer, knowing he was invading her personal space but for a moment he didn't care. "I still love you Anna, I'm never going to stop loving you. And whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, there's still a part of Chuck that loves you because you look like her."

His lips were inches from hers, so close he could practically see the pulse on her neck but he wasn't done yet. "And when that comes to light, because trust me it will. I'm still going to be here waiting, I'm not giving up on us, no matter what."

_**So do you believe me now?**_

With that he quickly closed the distance between their lips and placed one hard quick kiss on her mouth before pushing off against the stacks and walking away.

Anna stood there for a moment, emotions running through her. She hadn't expected that, nor had she expected the reaction she would have. Part of her felt a strange distaste with the entire situation but it seemed to be at war with a very small part of her heart that had wanted her to kiss him back.

Walking slowly back to the main part of the library, she was still trying to figure out just what she was feeling because nothing seemed to make sense. When she approached her table she saw the pendant lying on top of her books, along with Diego's practice test and what appeared to be a study guide.

Looking down at the pendant she couldn't be more confused. What the fuck was going on with her? Something inside of her really missed Diego and felt guilty for the way she'd hurt him but there were waves of disgust crashing through her every time she thought about it. She gripped the back of the chair tightly, trying to steady herself. Whatever was going on with her, she didn't like it; her emotions couldn't handle being pulled in such separate directions.

She sent a quick text to Dan letting him know that she needed to postpone their AmLit study session. She needed time to cool off from that confrontation or she was going to have a mental breakdown.

* * *

Eric's jaw dropped slightly as he opened the door to reveal his step brother standing in his hallway. "Chuck, what are you doing here...in Cambridge."

"I took the jet." Chuck replied casually. "Then hired a car from Boston into Cambridge."

"Because that's not excessive at all." Eric replied, taking a step back and letting Chuck into his dorm.

Chuck simply smirked. "Where's your roommate?"

Eric laughed. "He's practically living in the library - he's worse than me." But just as soon as he relaxed, Eric realized what Chuck had done, diverting from the subject. "Now tell me what you're doing here." He said taking a seat on his desk and looking at Chuck.

Exhaling Chuck took a seat on Eric's bed, looking over at his step sibling curiously. "I...I just need to talk to you about something, okay?"

Hearing the serious tone of Chuck's voice, Eric sat up straighter. This wasn't a joke. "It's Blair isn't it. What happened?"

"Yeah it's Blair..." Chuck spoke, trying to figure out how best to phrase what he wanted to say.

"Is something wrong? Is she okay?" Eric asked, slight panic beginning to slip into his voice, Chuck's mood was just so strange. "Did she remember something?" Eric added when Chuck remained unresponsive.

Chuck remained pensive but he knew he wasn't giving Eric much to go on when he'd come here for his advice. "It's hard to explain."

"Well...?" Eric said impatiently, his knee bouncing from the caffeine. He glanced over at his Norton's Anthology of English Literature then back. "You have my attention - though my Brit Lit final will probably pay the price. You came all the way to Harvard to talk in person, now go."

Chuck nodded, deciding that the words might just come out if he started explaining what happened. "Her ball was last weekend."

Eric nodded, still bouncing. "Yeah I'd forgotten it was coming up until Nate brought it up earlier. Did things go really crazy? I know Nate almost ended up in the hospital the night of his." Eric remembered with a shake of his head.

Chuck shook his head before forcing himself to continue. "Fitz knows."

"Knows...?" Eric asked confused.

Exhaling Chuck let the words come out with his breath. "Knows who she is - or he almost does."

Eric's eyes widened, his eyebrows shooting upwards. "Jesus Chuck, what happened to keeping things between us?"

"He guessed the truth from the beginning." Chuck said with a shake of his head. "And I had to tell him enough to keep him from making trouble. You know Fitz."

Running a hand through his hair Eric sighed. Everyone knew the Hamiltons though Fitz had been a Dalton boy - Pierce went to Constance, she was only a year younger than Eric - either way they'd run in the same circles. "Yes I do. He doesn't stop until he finds out what he wants to know and he's not exactly subtle."

"Exactly." Chuck spoke in confirmation. He knew that Eric was probably thinking of the almost reckless way Fitz pursued information - like a bull in a fucking china shop.

Narrowing his eyes, Eric crossed his arms. "Okay so what's Fitz got to do with it? You could have told me that on the phone.

Chuck smirked, Eric knew him too well. "He put Oblivion in the champagne."

"Oblivion?" Eric questioned, confused - he wasn't sure where Chuck was going with this.

Chuck inhaled deeply, preparing to say the words he knew would clue Eric into everything - even if the kid was hyped up on caffeine. "It's a drug that causes your past, your memories, to seem like they're happening in that moment. Trace amounts will just give you nostalgia but more than a mild dose can cause vivid hallucinations - make the memories overlay with reality."

Eric forced the air he'd been holding in out his nose as he looked up at Chuck, his lips pressed tightly together. "How much did she have?"

"Quite a bit more than a mild dose." Chuck answered honesty, maintaining Eric's gaze.

Eric leaned back and exhaled, shaking his head as he did. He could see exactly where this was going and it wasn't anywhere good. He almost wanted to cut to the chase but he had to give Chuck the opportunity to prove him wrong.

"She was remembering things left, right and center." Chuck continued, standing up and beginning to pace in front of Eric. "Calling Nate - Natie, taking down Georgina Sparks, God damn it looking into her eyes was just like it used to be, she was herself."

"But none of it stuck." Eric spoke resigned to what was coming.

Chuck shook his head. "No, nothing substantial. And what did remain she brushed it off like they were dreams or actual hallucinations rather than memories. She knew she'd been given little doses of a drug that she enjoyed but she's got no clue what the drug does, no idea that it was real."

Wrinkling his forehead, Eric rested his elbows on his knees. "Not even an inkling that they were the real thing? Nothing at all?"

"Not that I can tell." Chuck answered. "Honestly the last few days have almost felt like we've backtracked. She's become more like the old Anna than ever and I think she's about as likely to come with us to Aspen as I am to invite Diego."

Deciding it was time he cut in, Eric finally just spat it out. "Don't do it."

"Don't do what?" Chuck asked, surprise bringing him to a stop.

Eric shook his head, his mouth forming a thin line. "Don't insult me Chuck. You didn't fly out here to tell me about the party, about Fitz, or even about her almost remembering. You came here to talk about the fact that you're seriously considering giving her more drugs."

Chuck blinked, turning to face Eric directly. He was only surprised for a moment before he remembered who he was talking to. "Eric...this could be the key to bringing her back. You didn't see it and the morning after she mentioned her weird behavior then laughed it off, attributing it to the drugs. But she wouldn't think that if she didn't know."

"It's wrong and you know it." Eric spoke, his voice firm. "Or you would have just done it, you wouldn't have bothered flying here for me to tell you not to do it."

Chuck didn't know if Eric was right or not, but he knew that his step-brother was like his conscience, a much better one than Chuck had on his own anyway. "I'm just talking about the smallest trace amounts. So small she wouldn't even notice the effects; but maybe, just maybe it would be enough to loosen up her memories."

Standing Eric took a step closer to Chuck. "This is stupid Chuck. What if you hurt her? What if the drugs mess with her brain?"

Chuck shook his head. "Fitz wouldn't risk hurting her either."

"Fitz did it once. One night, that's it. And that's nothing like what you're talking about doing." Eric snapped back.

Chuck gave a half smirk. "I'll be careful."

Eric's eyebrows furrowed as he exhaled in frustration. "You're willing to risk this? You can't tell me it's worth the potential consequences."

"You didn't see it Eric." Chuck spoke, awe filling his voice at the memory. "You didn't look into her eyes like I did. She was Blair. She was herself again." Sadness filled his eyes, his voice, his entire being as he spoke again. "I didn't even realize until that moment how much of herself she'd been missing. How much I've missed her. Nothing but her is enough."

"What if you screw up? What if she does end up getting hurt?" Eric asked, anger and confusion sweeping through him. "You'll never forgive yourself."

Chuck looked away, unable to meet Eric's gaze.

"You didn't come here to ask my opinion." Eric spoke in realization. "You came here to have your's validated. You don't even care what I say, clearly you just wanted support for something you've already decided to do."

Looking back at Eric, Chuck exhaled, his eyebrows knotted together. "You're really against it." He stated slowly.

Eric nodded, his eyes begging Chuck to see that this was wrong. "I can't believe you're even considering it. You're supposed to keep her safe, no matter the consequences remember." He implored. "What happened to the guy that said he'd never do anything to chance hurting or losing her again? Do you honestly think this is a smaller risk than telling her the truth would have been?"

Chuck froze, observing Eric fiercely before sitting back on the bed. Exhaling he looked at the boy before him, the one that always centered him. What was he thinking? He'd come here for his guidance and for the past half hour he'd been rejecting it relentlessly. He'd just been driven so crazy by almost having her for those few hours that he'd let his mind get out of control, he'd become reckless. "You're right. Of course you're right."

"I usually am." Eric said with a relieved smile on his face. He could see the frantic fire in Chuck's eyes that had scared him was gone, the fervent desire to do something crazy had passed. "I need to study." Eric spoke after a long moment.

Chuck nodded. "Yes, I'm sorry for bothering you and for losing my head."

Walking Chuck to the door, Eric stopped and placed a hand on his shoulder. Looking at his brother with serious eyes he spoke quietly but firmly. "Don't let yourself be driven mad by this. Don't lose it because honestly this situation is already too fucked up for that to happen."

"I know." Chuck spoke, his voice quiet. He did understand what Eric was saying - the situation was too tenuous to have him going off the rails. "I am sorry."

"You can always talk to me, you know that." Eric spoke gaze meeting Chuck's intently.

Chuck nodded. "Thanks."

As Chuck left Eric walked back to his desk, relaxing against it as he shook his head - this still worried him. He knew Chuck wasn't exactly ecstatic with the current situation but he'd thought he was happy or at least content to wait it out; but this heralded the first coming of the storm that was ahead.

**Gossip Girl here, I'm hearing reports that C paid a visit to E in Cambridge. What was so important that C couldn't wait a week until E returned home from finals? But that wasn't the only strange visit tonight, photos have surfaced of a interesting conversation between A and DG in the library no less plus it looks as though SJ and N had a kiki of their own. Don't forget kiddies, you can't keep secrets from me for long. You could make it easier on yourselves and tell me now but where's the fun in that – the chase is the best part. Ta ta for now children – I have some investigating to do. **

**xoxo  
Gossip Girl**

* * *

**Okay so I know this chapter didn't have much Chuck and Blair - that was unfortunately intentional following the last chapter (it will make more sense when I post the next one). And that scene with Diego...I won't really comment on it here but if you'd like to discuss/know what that was all about as far as moving the story goes feel free to mention in your review and I'll respond :) That's actually always the case with anything - I don't want to give people info on the story they don't want but I'm always happy to chat about everything!**

**On that note - reviews are always appreciated!**

**xoxo  
kate**


	36. Holding On and Letting Go

Hi lovelies. I hope this new chapter finds you well To those of you that thought I'd quit writing I'm terribly sorry and hope to have another update in a couple weeks. (As well as one for Life and Lies next week at the latest).

My song inspiration for this chapter was Little Things by One Direction – especially for the Chuck and Blair parts. I was listening to it on repeat.

To my reviewers: **CarolinaGirl21, sallysally, GGfanficfan09, SouthernBelle88, carolinagirl313, Cat8000, Kels, meperez98, LitPrincess2787, monakamel97, leightedandnian, CeCe, and LovelyLydia** Thanks for sticking with me I appreciate it more than I can say. And hopefully the Chuck and Blair bonanza in this chapter makes up for the lack of interaction in the last one.

A quick point of clarification - I hear I responded to a couple of your reviews recently from my on again off again roommate's account (Karly aka CarolinaGirl21) - we have a tendency to share computers from time to time. She was kind enough to point this out to me but apologies to any of you who were confused!

To my beta: ggff-fan thanks for all your help with the fics through the years! I'll miss having you help out but I'm so excited for all your plans going forward!

Rating: **T **for the most part but we hit an** M** later on

* * *

**Chapter 36 - Holding On and Letting Go**

"Therefore I conclude that _Maggie: a Girl of the Streets _is the best example of American realism in writing. The novella goes so far as to preclude any reader from looking past it's unspeakable horrors by abandoning it's main character to focus instead on the realities of the rest of the title 'a Girl of the Streets.' By doing such, Stephen Crane insures that the realities he unveils are forced to the front of one's mind in a way that proceeded his time." Anna finished with a flourish.

Dan simply shook his head and groaned. "You're going to kick my ass on this final."

Anna scoffed. "Yeah right, you're the best writer I know."

"Yes but this isn't writing. An oral presentation on a topic of her choosing? This is going to be torture." Dan exhaled. "Besides, your realism oral on Maggie destroys mine on Sister Carrie."

Anna crinkled her nose ever so slightly. "It's either going to be American Realism, point-of-view, or a character comparison."

Dan shook his head. "You don't know that."

"You're right I don't, but seriously what else would she use?" Anna asked. When Dan didn't respond she smiled. "Actually I bet she combines them. Knowing Kyle she'll ask something like - Compare and contrast two characters/authors who exemplify American Realism using point-of-view, tone, and descriptive techniques."

Shaking his head again, Dan couldn't help but smile himself. "You do know you're brilliant right."

Laughing Anna stood. "Well if I'm so brilliant maybe I'll survive my Stats test on Friday."

Dan frowned. "Still struggling?"

"Unfortunately." Anna replied as she followed Dan back into the living room. "And the only person who can actually help is the last person I want to talk to."

"Ah yes, Diego." Dan replied crossing his arms. "Why don't you just ask Chuck?"

Anna exhaled. "As it turns out Stats isn't Chuck's strong suit either, though he did offer to hire someone to take it for me." She laughed before adding. "I declined."

Dan found himself smiling. He and Chuck had their ups and downs but he was glad that the real Chuck Bass was finally back – even if this version of Chuck was back to his depraved, disgusting self. "Well at least this one will be out of the way after tomorrow - then will Stats be your only one left?"

Anna nodded, exhaling. Exam season had been so much more difficult than she'd anticipated - the amount of studying had almost been overwhelming. "I had Econ today, Psych last Friday and French on Monday, then this one tomorrow and Stats on Friday."

"Well at least you didn't have any doubles. My freshman year at NYU I had two days with double exams back to back. It was terrible." Dan said with a shudder.

Anna smiled. "It's true. I guess I'm lucky everything's spread out." Titling her head, Anna crossed her arms. "What about you? How was your exam schedule this year?"

Dan smirked slightly. "I only had two finals this semester, the rest were papers or projects."

"I hate you." Anna spat even though she was smiling.

Shaking his head Dan pulled her into a playful hug. "No you don't, you love me."

Leaning back quickly, Anna met his gaze, searching his eyes to discern just what those words had meant. She had to hold back a sigh of relief that there wasn't any pained hopelessness in Dan's eyes that she'd started seeing so frequently from the other guys in her life – Nate and Diego in particular. "I totally do." She replied with a smile.

Dan realized quickly that his words had freaked Anna out. Even though she seemed fine now he didn't want her to think that he was still holding on to that little crush of his. He knew better than to think that she was right for him, not to mention Chuck might castrate him if he tried anything. So instead he made an obvious change in subject. "So tell me, how's Lina? Any chance she'll be visiting again?"

Anna's smile broadened - she'd almost forgotten about the connection the two of them had at her party. Lina and Dan could be really good together – she would be good for him. Unfortunately, it didn't seem likely that she'd be back in NYC anytime soon. She was going home to Texas for Christmas and her family always did a big trip over New Years to somewhere crazy. Frowning Anna looked up at Dan and shook her head. "Not in the near future."

Dan tried not to feel disappointed but he couldn't help it. He and Lina had been texting on and off the past couple months since Anna's birthday but he'd kind of been banking on Anna bringing her here over the Holidays for them to really have the chance to get to know each other. "Well that's a shame."

Anna bit her lip for a moment, surprised at how disappointed Dan seemed. It was obvious that he had feelings for her and Lina had been clear from the start that she was attracted to Dan. This might be just what Lina needed to distract her from everything that had gone down with Jackson.

Lina had always been a little bit in love with Jackson - something Anna hadn't known until well into their relationship - and now that he'd slept with Sam too, Lina getting involved was pretty much the worst idea ever. Anna had heard the stories, Lina and Jackson were best friends but she'd always felt more and he'd used that, he'd used her.

Looking back at Dan, Anna ran through everything she knew about him. Dan was a good guy, a good brother, and a good friend - he would be good for Lina. "What are you doing for the break?"

Dan shrugged, confused by Anna's erratic behavior. "I suppose I'm going to Aspen. I'm not exactly thrilled; I don't ski and I don't particularly want to be around Lily and my dad for another Holiday - the last one they spent the entire time fighting."

Anna smiled. "Come to Texas with me. I insist."

"What? That's crazy." Dan said shaking his head as laughter bubbled up through him. "Besides didn't Chuck invite you to Aspen?"

Shaking her head Anna placed her hands on his shoulders. "No it's not, it makes perfect sense." When she realized Dan wasn't convinced she continued. "You'll be miserable if you stay here or go to Aspen. As for Aspen, yes I was invited but Chuck knew I was just considering it. Besides I miss my fam and if you come with me you'll get to spend all of Christmas with Lina." She reminded with a teasing lilt to her voice.

Dan shook his head, his smile shinning through even in his doubts. "You're crazy, you know that right?"

"Crazy awesome." Anna said with a wide smile. "So you're coming. I won't take no for an answer."

Laughing Dan ran a hand through his messy mop of hair. "Anna I don't want to impose on your family."

"Impose?" Anna asked a smirk settling on to her features. "First of all - you won't be imposing. You could live in our house for a week and my parents wouldn't even know you were there." When Dan looked confused she added. "It's that big. There's like 20 bedrooms...I think."

"Oh..." Dan said in surprise. He'd forgotten that in places other than New York rich people had mansions.

"Besides, my parents would be thrilled." Anna added. "They'll love to know I've made friends, and they are totally people-people. As in they really really like pretty much everyone. They'll be happy to have you."

Dan titled his head, disbelieving of the fact that he was actually considering it. "Are you sure?" He asked, seriously beginning to mull it over. He really didn't want to go to Aspen and Christmas alone would suck - he'd been glad to leave his days as LonelyBoy behind. Besides, he did really want to see Lina again - there was something there, he'd felt it.

Anna nodded and placed a hand on his chest so he'd realize how serious she was. "I'm positive." Then Anna stepped back and smirked. "Besides if you're there then Lina won't be able to talk my ear off about you." She said with a smile.

"Okay." Dan spoke, the smile on his face growing the more he thought about it. This might be the best Christmas he'd had since his and Serena's first Holiday together.

Stepping back, Anna began collecting her things before she remembered something she should probably tell Dan before he signed up for something he wasn't expecting. Standing straight she faced him. "I should probably mention the fact that my family is kinda religious."

"And by kind of you mean…?" Dan asked leadingly. Dan knew she wouldn't mention it unless it was more than just kind of.

Anna laughed, her eyes sparkling. "By kind of, I mean very. As in we're Baptist – most people where I live are." Tilting her head she thought about what she said and added with a shrug. "Well Cassie and Diego are both Catholic."

Dan couldn't help the laughter that pealed from him. "I'm Presbyterian, it's fine."

"Good." Anna said with a smile before walking with him towards the living room. "Jenny said she'd meet me by the stairs at 3pm but I haven't seen her today, have you?"

Dan looked at Anna quizzically, now that she mentioned it, he hadn't seen his sister at all. "Actually…I don't even know that she's here. Her bedroom door was closed this morning."

As if on cue a disheveled Jenny came rushing down the stairs, smile bright on her face. "Ah sorry I'm late, I lost track of time."

"It's fine." Anna said smiling as she turned towards the stairs, eyebrows lifting when she saw Jenny's disarray arriving almost out of breath but shooting upwards when Riley turned the corner at the top, cheeks red, eyes downcast. "I see." She said with a smirk.

Jenny rolled her eyes quickly rushed up a couple steps and tugged Riley the rest of the way, almost playfully. "Bye Dan, see you later." She called as she continued into the entrance hall, still pulling Riley behind her. "Meet you downstairs Anna!" She called before shoving Riley into the elevator.

"What _was _that?" Dan asked Anna as he stared after them.

Anna looked at Dan and smiled, her eyes twinkling slightly. "I think that was your sister being…happy."

Dan laughed. "Is that what happy looks like? It's been so long that I've seen her do anything other than work I'd forgotten."

Anna joined his laugher as they walked into the entrance hall and waited for the elevator to return. When the doors open both felt their jaws slip open as Jenny and Riley were pressed up against the back wall of the elevator, her leg around his waist.

Dan coughed loudly, a stern look on his face as they turned to face him, eyes wide. He turned his fiercest glare on Riley – one he only remembered using a couple of times. "Watch yourself kid, that's my little sister."

Riley nodded quickly, smart enough not to say anything as he took a couple steps away from Jenny.

"Dan…" Jenny started indignantly, about to launch into a spiel about how it wasn't his business when Anna burst into laughter.

Stepping into the elevator she waved bye to Dan and pressed the button for the lobby. Taking Riley by the arm she moved him to the other side of the elevator. "You, over there." She said through her laughter. Pulling out a makeup remover wipe she handed it to Riley. "Mirror in the upper corner, use it to get that lipstick off your mouth. Hot pink's not really your color."

Looking back at Jenny she started laughing again, unable to keep it in. Soon enough Jenny had joined her, unable to hold back. Riley still stood in the corner, disheveled and uncertain what to do – especially now that both girls had dissolved into giggles.

As they reached the lobby Anna shook her head and took Jenny's arm. "Jenny will see you later Riley. Though I suggest getting out of that elevator before it goes back up to the penthouse again."

Riley kind of stumbled forth and Jenny tugged her arm, intending to go say goodbye. Anna just shook her head, pulling Jenny forwards. "No way, I'm not watching another show for the next twenty minutes when a kiss goodbye ends with you pinned up against another wall."

Laughing Jenny called out a goodbye to Riley over her shoulder as Anna dragged her out of the building.

"Now for some coffee!" She exclaimed before cutting her eyes towards Jenny. "Maybe an iced coffee for you."

"Shut up!" Jenny said shoving Anna, but she couldn't stop smiling long enough to even pretend to be serious.

Anna returned her smile. "So things with Riley have picked up?"

Jenny nodded, her eyes bright as she linked arms with Anna. "I don't know what happened. It was supposed to just be a part of the Sam plot but damn it I'm having fun."

"Just having fun?" Anna questioned knowingly.

"Yes just fun." Jenny sighed indignantly.

Anna lifted her eyebrows and shrugged. "Okay, well there's certainly nothing wrong with that." Of course Anna could see that Jenny was totally fooling herself. It was more than just fun for her, but if Jenny wanted to believe that was all it was, for now there was no harm in letting her.

"Now it's your turn to spill, how are things with you and Chuck?" Jenny asked finally beginning to cool down.

Anna smiled, before the smile shifted off her face. "Well...Chuck and I are fine, I think. We've barely seen each other the past few weeks because of finals."

"Understandable." Jenny replied with a nod. Parsons hadn't been a cake walk either but theirs had been over last week.

Exhaling Anna hesitated considering for a moment just how would be best to phrase what she wanted to say.

Picking up on Anna's reluctance Jenny rolled her eyes. "You just caught me practically fornicating in an elevator, whatever it is - you can just spit it out."

Anna smiled, it was so good to have a friend like Jenny, one who cut through all the crap. "Things have been a little bit weird with Chuck since my initiation ball."

"Right the thing for the Fellows." Jenny replied knowingly. "Did something happen to make things weird?"

Anna pressed her lips together and nodded. "Kind of." Sighing she decided to just do what Jenny had suggested and spit it out - she didn't have anything to hide from Jenny. "Fitz might have encouraged me to do some experimenting with a drug by dosing the champagne with it. Apparently my behavior following that went a little off the rails."

Jenny's eyes widened in surprise. Anna must not be quite the good girl everyone thought she was - not that it should surprise her even Blair had dabbled a bit here and there and everyone had thought she was a good girl too. "How far off the rails?"

Anna shrugged. "Nothing out of control. The drug creates hallucinations so I was imagining all these vivid scenarios that didn't happen. It was kind of like intense daydreaming. But the weird part was that my behavior was very...Blair like, according to Chuck."

"Ergo future weirdness." Jenny responded getting it immediately. If Anna had been acting like Blair it had probably messed with Chuck's head a bit which was now bringing up old insecurities for both of them. "And now you're worried that the little episode has made him miss her again?"

Sighing Anna nodded. "I brushed off my behavior the next day and tried to ignore it but ever since then he's been looking at me like he expects something from me. I think I'm overcompensating trying to be my old happy cheerful self but that feels wrong too."

"So now you're avoiding him." Jenny completed before Anna had to say it.

"Now I'm avoiding him." Anna reiterated. "And he wants me to go with you guys to Aspen but I don't think I could handle it. I think I need the time away to think things through."

Frowning Jenny looked away. Not going with them to Aspen was one thing, but that sounded dangerously close to putting their relationship on hold and regardless of what had happened at the ball, Jenny was fairly certain Chuck couldn't handle that right now. "I wish you would go to Aspen, but I get why it isn't a good call."

Pressing her lips together, Anna frowned. "I just don't know what to do to get things back to normal."

Furrowing her brow, Jenny exhaled. "Maybe you overcompensating is what's throwing Chuck off, maybe things would be easier if you just try to relax."

"I want to, I assure you I do." Anna spoke softly. "But this whole thing was made even more stressful because of this dream I had – it was so real."

"Go on." Jenny said leadingly while they waited in the Starbucks line. She was a little curious as to Anna's next words, and there was this strange feeling in her stomach, like she was on a roller coaster that was about to go over the first big drop.

Anna exhaled as the dream quickly rushed back to her. She couldn't help but smile as she spoke. "We were in bed together and we were so unbelievably happy. We kept talking about how in love we were, how much we needed each other. And Chuck played me this song he'd written for me about just how much he loved me - on an acoustic."

"Well now I know it's a dream, because Chuck and anything musical does not go together." Jenny said with a laugh.

Anna laughed with her because she'd thought the same thing at the time, but then she grew a little more serious. "And then Chuck started talking about forever."

"Forever? As in being together forever?" Jenny asked, curiosity more than a little peaked. The fact that this was a dream that Anna was talking about had seemed to melt from her mind. The seriousness that Anna was conveying made it seem real and Jenny couldn't help but feel like it must have felt really real to her.

Laughing to herself Anna shook her head. "I can't believe I'm about to say this because it sounds crazy that I would dream about this so soon; but he was talking about how excited he was to and I quote…put a ring on my finger."

Jenny's eyes widened. She wasn't sure what your subconscious did while you were asleep and what it meant but she hadn't realized how serious things had gotten with them if they were anywhere near this point.

"And I think I've lost it because by the end of the dream I was telling him that I was in it for forever. Like I actually consciously had the thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him." Anna said with an exhale.

Jenny smirked slightly as she looked at Anna. "And it scared you shitless didn't it?"

Anna laughed. "Not immediately, no. In fact when I first woke from the dream I was so calm, I felt like everything was right."

"So are you saying that you're ready for something like that? For a proposal?" Jenny asked, unable to hide her surprise.

Anna winced at the word before sighing loudly. "I don't know. But I wasn't scared."

Jenny tilted her head slightly collecting her order from the counter. There was more to this story, she could tell. "Then what was it that freaked you out? Because something did."

Smiling Anna shook her head. "You know me too well. In the dream Chuck had this peacefulness that I've never seen before. He's been happy but he's never been like this, like he was completely content."

Jenny's apprehension began to deepen as Anna spoke. There was something about this that she couldn't quite put her finger on it but a part of her knew there was something she was missing.

"When I first woke up it bothered me to see the furrows in his brow that were present even as he slept. He wasn't like that in the dream." Anna spoke remembering back.

"At first I was resolved to do whatever it took to make him happy," She said with a small smile. "Until I realized that the one time I had ever seen anything close to that kind of peace was in the moments he seemed to forget that I'm not her. Or even the night of the ball, when I was apparently acting like her."

And just like that Jenny's stomach dropped. The most likely possibility for all this was that Chuck really was still using Anna as a replacement for Blair but everything inside her fought against that idea. On top of all that, her gut was twisting as it seemed to be screaming at her that she was missing something.

Jenny didn't know what to say. She knew what Anna was thinking, that much was obvious, but she didn't know what she could do to contradict her when she couldn't put words to what she herself was thinking. "I think...I think that you're putting too much pressure on the situation." She finally spoke, uncertain of her own words.

"You didn't answer the question I didn't ask." Anna spoke softly as they walked out of the coffee shop.

A slow smirk slid across Jenny's face before she nodded in understanding. "Honestly, I don't know what Chuck's thinking. But what I do know is that a part of him is always going to be in love with Blair; but that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you."

Anna exhaled as she looked over at her friend. "Is it always going to come back to this? I can't be Blair for him. I can't and I don't want to."

Jenny shook her head, finally landing on what she believed was the right thing to say. "Before Blair and after Blair Chuck was a different guy. Pre Blair he was not the kind of guy you would let yourself anywhere near - trust me, I know from experience."

Anna looked at Jenny quizzically but she neglected to answer and kept talking. "Blair changed every part of him. She was the first person - and I do mean first - to ever really love him. He didn't get that from his parents. She taught him how to be there for other people, how to believe in himself, how to be a man, and how to treat a woman. She taught him how to love and how to let other people love him. She made him want to be the kind of person who deserved her, the person she always knew he was."

Anna frowned, she'd known there was an intense history with Chuck and Blair but to never have been loved...that was more than just intense, that was tragic.

"When he lost Blair, Chuck lost a part of himself." Jenny spoke quietly. "I think he had that sense of peace with Blair because he thought that what they had was forever, that it was completely indestructible. He never imagined his world without her in it."

Looking at Anna, Jenny slowed her pace to a near stop. "I don't think he wants you to be her or confuses you with her. I think that peace is gone because he's afraid of loving someone so completely and losing them again."

Anna pressed her lips together. Part of her wanted to believe that Jenny was right but there was still that lingering thought that Chuck only wanted her because she reminded him of someone else and she internally cursed Diego for putting it back into her brain. "Then what do I do?"

Jenny shrugged lightly. "I think all you can do is to reassure him that you're not going anywhere but I don't know that Chuck will ever completely open up again - not after what he lost the last time. Even when he's with you, loving you, I don't know that he'll ever have that again because he'll always think in the back of his mind that something could take you away from him."

Jenny could sense Anna's frustration with the situation but she didn't know what to say. "Maybe you should go to Aspen, if only to prove that you pick him over everything else."

Anna sighed loudly. "I don't think I can now. I just invited your brother to come to Christmas at my place."

"Eric?" Jenny questioned in surprise. "But Aspen was his idea? He thought it would be the easiest vacation choice to avoid Lily and Rufus, since Lily's going to be stuck in the lodge the whole time. Pregnant people can't exactly go skiing."

Anna shook her head. "No Dan actually."

"What?!" Jenny exclaimed loudly.

"He and Lina have a thing going and he really wanted to see her, so I invited him." Anna explained casually.

Jenny's eyebrows lifted practically into her forehead. "Does Chuck know this?"

"Well not yet." Anna said with a laugh. "I literally just invited him."

Exhaling Jenny looked at Anna carefully. "You're playing a dangerous game. Last week you were spotted in a serious convo with Diego, this week you invite Dan home for Christmas, and you opt out of spending the Holiday with Chuck in Aspen - I think you give Chuck more credit in his ability to practice restraint than you should."

Crinkling her nose Anna gave Jenny a serious look. "There's just...a lot I need to think about. And a large part of that needs to be done without Chuck around." Smiling slightly she shot Jenny a look that she knew the other girl would understand. "When he's around, he's all I can think about, he's all that matters. To be able to figure this out I have to clear my head."

"I get it." Jenny replied her voice quiet because even though she theoretically understood - she knew she'd never actualy felt that way about anyone herself.

Anna nodded before slowing her steps to a stop as they neared Jenny's building. "I need to head back to campus, my Stats review session is tonight."

Giving Anna a quick hug Jenny pulled back and smiled. "You and Chuck will figure it out."

"I hope you're right." Anna responded, giving Jenny another quick hug goodbye.

"Good luck with the rest of finals and if I don't see you - have a great Holiday." Jenny spoke as she took a step back.

Anna smiled and stepped towards the street. "Thanks, you too." She replied before hailing a cab. She waved at Jenny as she stepped inside and prayed to God that her friend was right because even with all of the uncertainty surround things with Chuck that dream had been monumental for Anna. Regardless of everything else, Anna now knew beyond question that she wanted to be with Chuck, something her heart told her was forever. Now she just had to hope that she was the one he wanted, not Blair.

Jenny watched Anna's cab drive off before she pulled out her phone and texted Chuck. After that conversation she knew he had some serious work to do and she highly doubted he had any idea.

**You need to talk to Anna. **

Almost instantly her phone buzzed with a response.

**What are you talking about?**

Pursing her lips, Jenny had to think carefully about what she wanted to say. She didn't want to betray her friend's confidence but Chuck had to do something or he was going to lose her.

**She's having doubts.**

Jenny waited for a few minutes, expecting another text. When she didn't get one she sent another message that should clear things up.

**She's having doubts ... about you.**

Seconds later her phone rang. Answering Jenny didn't even have time to speak before Chuck dove in.

"Meet me at Popover Cafe in 20 min." Chuck spoke directly, trying to hide what he was feeling.

Jenny shook her head even though she knew he couldn't see it. "I can't Chuck, I'm on the way to the Atelier."

Chuck's voice was practically a growl. "Fine then, we'll talk on the way there."

Jenny exhaled. "Well I was going to take the subway, I guess I can hail a cab." She said walking towards the corner in front of their building. "Or not..." She spoke as Chuck's limo pulled up next to her, window rolling down.

"Get in." Chuck spoke opening the door and sliding over.

Jenny rolled her eyes but did as he said, hanging up her phone in the process - there was no use for it now. "Thanks for the lift." She spoke sarcastically.

Chuck's facial expression clearly expressed that he was not amused as he crossed his arms. "Now spill, we only have about 7 minutes."

"So precise." Jenny said with a smirk. One glare from Chuck brought her teasing to an end as she turned her body to face him. "I'm sure you've noticed that Anna's avoiding you."

Chuck exhaled with a frown. "I thought it was just because of finals." Closing his eyes briefly he inhaled before meeting her gaze. "But I noticed."

Jenny pressed her lips together. "She's using finals as an excuse; but she is stressed so I think that's probably making things worse."

"Then what is it?" Chuck asked, trying to hide his anxiety by letting his anger show instead.

Sighing loudly Jenny ran a hand through her hair. "Something that happened at or after the ball upset her. According to Anna - it made her decide that you still want Blair not her."

"Damn it." Chuck snapped as he slammed his head back against his headrest. Clearly he was damned if he did and damned if he didn't in this situation. "At the ball she was acting like Blair, it was more than eerie. I mean, hell she even went after Georgina."

"Sparks?" Jenny asked in surprise before shaking her head, this was off-topic. "That's not the issue. She knows it freaked you out. The whole thing is that she said she saw something in your eyes afterwards while she was 'acting like Blair' that made her think that you'll never love her like you love Blair."

Exhaling Chuck didn't know what to say, he wouldn't. He would never love Anna like he loved Blair, he knew that was true because even though they were the same person, they weren't.

"What's going on Chuck?" Jenny asked quietly. There was a war raging in Chuck, she could see it now. And for the first time she had to wonder if he was in over his head. She'd thought Anna was good for him, but maybe she'd been wrong.

Shaking his head, Chuck knew he had to cover or Jenny would start asking the wrong questions. "I'm scared of losing her."

Jenny smiled to herself, glad that that had been his answer. "I told her that you were always going to love Blair, that the reason you didn't look at her like you used to look at Blair is because losing Blair broke you. I told her that you're just afraid of losing her so if you want to keep her you need to make sure she knows that you're in this for her."

Nodding slowly as they pulled up in front of the atelier he wanted to say more but couldn't find the words so he looked at Jenny and smiled. "Thank you." He said sincerely.

Jenny nodded, glad that she'd texted him. She'd been right. No matter what was going on, Chuck couldn't handle losing Anna, it would destroy him - that much she was sure of. "You're welcome." She returned before slipping out of his limo and rushing inside.

As Jenny left, Chuck felt his head fall into his hands. This made everything more complicated but what else was new? He'd been so caught up in trying to make her more Blair that he must have completely missed the fact that he was losing Anna.

And he did love Anna. She wasn't Blair, of that he was aware; but the way he felt about Anna was the closest he could imagine ever being to the way he felt about Blair. Even though they were the same person, he understood that at the same time they weren't. He didn't know what her personality would be like once she did remember - he wasn't stupid enough to think that she'd magically be Blair again, she'd be Anna too.

Shaking his head Chuck groaned in frustration. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't lose Anna, that would destroy him. But in his heart he knew that if there was a way to bring Blair back he had to do it - except if it cost him Anna in the process then it didn't matter.

Too many thoughts were running through his head, Chuck leaned back and tried to relax, hoping to land on an idea for how to fix this mess. Or at very least work out some kind of temporary plan to keep from losing everything.

* * *

Blinking her eyes, Anna struggled to wake up. Looking to the bedside table she noted the time on the clock and furrowed her brow in confusion. Her alarm should have gone off thirty minutes ago.

Flipping over she was surprised to see that Chuck wasn't lying next to her in bed. This was the first time in almost two weeks that he'd been up before her. And what on earth was that sound coming from the other room?

Slipping out of bed, she tugged on her silk robe and walked into the living area, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She tilted her head in surprise when she saw Chuck rummaging through the cabinets as he sang to himself.

For a moment she was surprised…so Chuck could sing, but her mind was still bleary with sleep so she wasn't quite exactly sure what was going on. "What are you doing up so early?" Anna asked as she walked up to the other side of the bar.

Chuck jumped slightly before turning and smiling at her. "I was going to let you sleep until 9:00. I'm sorry I woke you."

Anna shook her head. "Chuck, I set the alarm for eight on purpose."

Chuck laughed. "I know – breakfast won't be here until 9:00 though."

Anna wanted to be cross with him but she couldn't seem to find it in her this morning. So instead she sat down on one of the bar stools and accepted the cup of coffee he was holding out for her. "So what's for breakfast?"

Chuck shrugged as he propped his elbows up on the bar facing her. "Up to you. I told them to bring up some of everything on the menu."

"Chuck!" Anna exclaimed with a laugh as she leaned back. "Well I guess I should go get ready so that I can head to the library immediately after. You shouldn't have let me sleep."

Reaching across the bar, Chuck caught Anna by her forearms and pulled her back towards him. "You're not going to the library today."

Shaking her head, Anna just couldn't understand Chuck's strange behavior. "I have to. I have my Stats final tomorrow. I have to spend all day studying."

Chuck nodded. "Which is why the best Statistics tutor in the city – well actually I think he came in from Boston – but either way, the best in the Northeast is coming to this apartment to work with you at 10am."

"What?" Anna asked in surprise as she stilled. "You hired me a tutor?"

Chuck shrugged. "I knew you were stressed about it so I wanted to do something and you wouldn't let me hire someone to take it for you." Chuck finished before looking away, just a little bit embarrassed.

"I love you." Anna spoke her voice serious. As weird as things had been the past couple of weeks that was one thing she was still certain of; her feelings for him hadn't changed.

The elation Chuck felt at those words showed as he smiled at her. "I love you too."

Anna felt her heart jump in her chest as she looked at him, there was something about the way Chuck was acting today that made her feel at ease – she hadn't realized until that moment just how weird things had actually been. Leaning across the bar she grabbed the edges of his robe with her hands and tugged him closer. Speaking lowly she faked a glance at the clock. "Hmmm…sounds like I have just enough time for a shower."

Pushing off quickly she smirked and began walking towards the bathroom. Dropping her robe off her shoulders, she turned and lifted her eyebrows in Chuck's direction. "Aren't you coming?"

Chuck had control and stamina but in that moment he was sure he was about to lose it. That was one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen. But instead of trying to find words and risking his voice being a little higher pitched than he'd like for her to know, he kept his mouth closed and followed her, tugging off his own robe as he did.

* * *

"So what'd you think?" Diego asked, pushing off the wall and coming to stand next to Cassie.

Cassie jumped slightly in surprise before rolling her eyes. "I think that your stalkerish tendencies should be kept under better control."

Diego laughed opening as he fell into step next to Cassie. "Fair enough." When she didn't tell him to leave her alone he kept talking. "I was surprised to see you here, I thought you were basically the TA now."

Cassie shrugged casually as they walked outside. "Yeah I was. But I'm still technically a student, so to get credit I had to take the final."

"I see." Diego replied with a nod. "Not going to lie, I wasn't surprised that we were the first two done. The rest of those kids..."

"Are idiots?" Cassie finished with a laugh. "Trust me I know, I've been grading their papers. However, I can honestly say I was sure I'd finish first. That you beat me was a bit of a shock."

Diego smirked. "And I didn't even cheat."

Cassie returned his smirk. "Certainly helps to be fluent doesn't it."

"Amen to that." Diego responded enthusiastically causing them to both burst into laughter. After a moment Diego couldn't help but say something even though he knew it would probably ruin the little bubble they'd managed to build for the moment. "Well look at us, laughing and talking like old times - careful someone might actually think that we're friends."

The smile on Cassie's face slipped as she shook her head. "We were never friends. I'm not sure I see that changing."

Diego shrugged with a knowing smirk. "I don't know Cass. You already owe me one favor and if I remember correctly there's something you'd like for me to do for you. Besides, I think you'll come to find we're on the same side."

Cassie frowned as her feet began to slow until they were stopped out in the main quad. She knew that Chuck had told Diego that he knew, but she was fairly certain that he didn't know that she knew about Anna too. Which meant he thought that when she found out she'd side with him - he thought she'd try to keep Blair as Anna.

Swallowing tightly, Cassie pushed back the piece of her mind that seemed to be asking whether or not Diego might be right and focused on what he actually said instead. "I don't trust you D - never have, never will."

Diego was about to say something cunning but Cassie wasn't done yet.

"So favors of all kinds aside, I can say that while I don't know if I trust Chuck or not, there's still a possibility of that there." Narrowing her eyes, she crossed her arms. "He's an unknown but he'd never let what you let happen, happen to her again. The chance that you'll ever earn back my trust are negligible. So no, I don't think we're on the same side."

Cassie stared him down for a moment, waiting to see whether or not he'd say something. She was surprised at his proximity but didn't move away - they were playing a game of chicken and she wasn't going to be the one to blink.

But neither was Diego. "We'll see about that." He spoke, his voice low as he retained Cassie's gaze. His gut told them that regardless of what Cassie thought right now, once she knew the truth about who Anna was she'd fight like hell to keep her friend.

"I'll be in touch soon about that favor." Diego added before turning and walking away.

Cassie was so surprised by Diego's words and swift departure that he was long gone before she realized that she probably should have asked him what he meant about being on the same side anyway. Even though she knew, she shouldn't have.

Frowning she watched his retreating form and shook her head. The thought that Diego might be right about her scared her because she didn't want to be selfish. Anna wanted to remember, she wanted her life back. But there was a part of Cassie that couldn't help but wonder who Anna would be when she remembered and how much she'd change. That part of Cassie practically screamed that Diego wasn't so far from the truth after all.

* * *

"So it's over – how do you feel?" Chuck asked as Anna walked out of her classroom door. He was leaning back against his limo smiling as she approached.

Anna bit her lip as she reached Chuck. "Actually…I feel pretty good. Which is kind of scary right?"

Chuck reached forward and placed his hand in her hair, running his fingers through it as he met her gaze. "No, you're brilliant. I'm sure you nailed it."

Exhaling Anna finally smiled. "If I did it's only because of your little present yesterday. Seriously, I couldn't have done it without you." Scrunching up her nose she added. "I'm sorry it was such a lame day for you."

Chuck laughed – yesterday had hardly been lame, though he assumed she was referring to the fact that he sat at home and did work in his home office while she studied in the other room. "That was much better than my normal day – usually I do just as much work but I do it at the office where you aren't there to distract me every few hours."

Anna smirked and leaned forwards. "I like distracting you."

Chuck returned her smirk with one of his own. "I like you distracting me too." He'd have to consider working from home more often. It was years ago that he'd taken over the two suites next to him, converting one into a full bedroom, the original suite was used as a living room/dining room/kitchen, and the third was turned into a home office. But he rarely used the home office – not since he gave up searching for Blair.

"Can we please do something fun today – particularly something that doesn't require math of any kind?" Anna asked, her eyes bright.

Chuck laughed, he was glad she wasn't too worn out or chances are she would have just wanted to sleep and he actually already had something special planned. "I think I know just the thing. Hop in."

Anna looked at him curiously but didn't question. She could tell by the look in his eyes that Chuck had something planned and asking wouldn't do any good, so for once she simply did as she was told. After about fifteen minutes she realized that the limo was pulling to a stop and she looked at Chuck with a curious glint in her eyes. "Central Park?" She finally asked as he led her from the limo.

Chuck tilted his head to the side and smirked. "Technically yes."

"Hmmm…" Anna spoke as she allowed him to lead her down the pathway, trying as she did to figure out what exactly they were about to walk into. "So how was your morning?" She asked, making small talk as they walked.

Chuck found the smallest of frowns slipping onto his face as he thought about his morning before he looked over at her and smiled. "Lonely. I got used to having you around yesterday."

Anna felt her throat tightening in the best way as the happiest of tears stung her eyes. He'd missed her after just a few hours. She was about to say something more when she looked up and gasped.

"Surprise." Chuck spoke softly into her ear.

The Central Park ice-skating rink was in front of them completely devoid of the normal covering of people; instead it was fantastically decorated with lights and Christmas décor. To one side where the spectators normally sat, there was a covered area constructed with an outdoor space heater as well as pillows and blankets, next to which were several covered platters and tall thermos like dispensers. She could see staff standing by as though waiting for Chuck's cue.

"Chuck." She spoke turning towards him and grabbing onto his lapels. "This is…it's just perfection."

Leaning down Chuck rested his head against hers. "So are you."

"Where is everyone?" She asked though she should have known the answer.

Chuck shrugged slightly. "I rented out the place for the day. I was thinking we could skate and then when we're tired we can have our fill of food and drink."

Shaking her head Anna smiled. "I don't even know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything." Chuck spoke as he brushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

Anna smiled leaning in towards him. "I feel like I should warn you that I've never ice skated a day in my life. I've always wanted to but in Texas it's not really a thing."

Chuck held back his surprise - Blair loved ice skating. He wasn't sure how her "parents" had been able to keep her away. "Really?" He asked with a smile on his face. "You cheered though right? I'm sure you have good balance and really it's all about knowing where to put your weight."

"Okay." Anna said with a nod, she'd always been graceful. "How hard can it be?"

Chuck laughed, knowing he was sticking his foot in his mouth before he even spoke the words. "I'll enjoy watching you fall on your ass."

Anna crossed her arms in mock anger. "If I go down you're going down with me."

Smirking Chuck handed her a pair of skates. He of course knew that if anyone was going to be falling down today it would be him.

Once they were both appropriately outfitted Chuck led her to the rink and took the first step onto the ice. "Watch your step." He spoke indicating the slight step up onto the rink.

"These boots aren't half bad…I thought they'd be hard to walk in." Anna spoke taking her first step onto the ice, holding on to Chuck's hand.

Immediately Chuck began to skate at a normal speed, knowing that her muscle memory would quickly kick in. "It takes most people awhile to get use to them."

"Whoa…" Anna called out laughing as Chuck pulled her forward on the ice. "No training wheels?"

Chuck smiled as he tugged her forwards. "You don't need them."

Anna shook her head before she realized that while they were talking she'd been the one to pick up the speed, not Chuck. Laughing she looked at Chuck with bright eyes. "This feels so normal. Like I've done it a million times."

Chuck smirked to himself; Blair was an amazing ice skater. She could skate circles around him if she were blindfolded and wearing broken skates. "I'm guessing you have."

Anna nodded. "It's true - it was like this when I realized I could speak French too." She spoke gliding effortlessly across the ice. Her feet seemed to have a mind of their own as she let go of Chuck's hand and allowed herself to do a small spin.

Laughing Chuck applauded her before gesturing for her to continue. "See what you can do."

Anna shook her head. "I don't even know what that was, I wouldn't know what to do."

Chuck skated up to her and placed a quick kiss on her lips. "I saw your technique on that spin you did. You clearly know how to skate. Go for it and see what your feet remember that you don't."

Anna nodded slowly, Chuck was right. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened and something inside her muscles just wanted to move.

Smiling, Chuck backed up until he was against the edge of the rink, knowing that once she realized what she could do she'd be putting on quite the show. When Eric had convinced him that using Oblivion was a bad idea he'd decided that there had to be another way to help her and was hoping that maybe her muscles would help her remember.

Anna inhaled deeply before she started to skate, letting her feet guide her. She laughed as she lifted her leg in the air and let herself glide. Coming down from an arabesque she pulled her leg into a spin. Laughing as she pulled out and faced Chuck, using the edge of her skate to bring herself to a stop. "I've always wanted to try that."

Chuck joined her in laughter, still leaning back against the rink. Crossing his arms he smiled at her, that was amateur stuff. "Is that the best you've got?" He called out.

Anna shrugged as she started skating again. "I'm not sure." She called out, laughter still ringing in her voice as she let the feeling of being on skates exhilarate her.

For a moment she closed her eyes and breathed in, this felt so familiar. Her laughter seemed to call forth something at the back of her mind; she could hear the echoes of laughter in her head. _Watch this. _Her mind seemed to say as she began to pick up speed.

Opening her eyes quickly, Anna let her feet lead her into a turn, her heart was racing as she changed directions before pressing down with the inside edge of her skate. Checking over her shoulder she felt her right foot which was extended backwards swing forward and around with a wide scoop. Her body seemed to know exactly what to do as she was vaulted from the ice, her head snapping around as she landed on her left leg after two complete turns.

"Holy shit!" She called out, her heart beating out of its chest as her eyes found Chuck. "Did you see that? What was that?"

Chuck laughed skating forwards. "Looked like a Salchow to me…"

"And you know that how?" Anna asked skating around him.

Chuck shrugged. "I had a Russian nanny once who was really into figure skating."

Laughing Anna skated up to him and smiled. "I seriously have no idea what I can or can't do."

Leading her along the ice, Chuck skated alongside her holding her hand. "Why don't you try a jump using the toe pick?"

Scrunching her nose, Anna contemplated. She knew she should feel nervous about attempting something of the sort but she just didn't. "Why not?" She said with a smile before letting go and skating away from Chuck.

Chuck couldn't help but smile, this all felt so familiar. The number of times he'd watched Blair do this growing up all blurred together in an extended memory. He knew she'd do the axel jump – it was Blair's favorite, she was always the only girl in any of her classes that could do it and she loved to show off.

It was then as he watched Blair round the edge of the rink, so confident in herself that he remembered why Blair had stopped taking figure skating. "Shit." He cursed under his breath knowing it was too late to get Anna's attention. He could see it before it happened, she was too close to the outside of the rink to be doing an axel jump – this wasn't a professional rink the ice on the outside wasn't smooth enough.

As she took off, Chuck could see it replaying in his mind like a movie real.

"_You can't do a triple axel." A thirteen year old Chuck scoffed as he stood near Blair on the ice. He cast a glance over at Nate who was laughing with Serena near the edge of the rink. "A double sure, but not a triple."_

"_I can." Said Blair proudly, the curls near her face that had escaped her well coiffed bun swinging. _

_Crossing his arms Chuck leaned forwards. "He's not even watching, but he will be if you fall." _

_Blair looked over to Nate and Serena. Her boyfriend was picking up the fine chips of ice that were on the ground and tossing them at Serena, who was giggling playfully in return. Looking back at Chuck, she narrowed her eyes. "Then I won't fall."_

"_Simple as that?" Chuck asked amazed at her confidence. When Blair was like that he knew there was no stopping her. Looking over at Nate he called out. "__You're__ going to want to watch this."_

_Blair smirked as Nate looked over and grinned, leaning back against the rink as Chuck gestured towards Blair. _

"_Well go ahead then." Chuck said with a smirk. _

_Blair lifted her eyebrows before she began skating. Her anger coming to a boil as she watched Serena place her hand on Nate's arm. Blair saw red as she skated from the inside of the circle, gaining speed as she did. _

_Chuck frowned as he watched Blair move from the inside of the rink, he knew what she was doing. She was going to make damn sure that both Nate and Serena saw her. Looking around he saw that the parents who'd been previously chatting were now watching them as well…_

_Blair knew she was pushing herself but she didn't care as she round the edge of the rink she knew she'd spray ice on her friends before turning into the jump, placing the toe pick of her foot down and vaulting off the ice. She felt her heart beat race as everything seemed to happen in slow motion, she was out of control and she knew it – the takeoff had been rough. But she was sure her center was on, she could still land this. _

_Coming down from the jump she swung her leg out for the landing and felt her heart skip as her skate hit a ridge in the ice. Capitalizing on her forward momentum from the jump, the ridge sent her toppling forwards directly into the ice. She rolled but she knew it was too late. _

_Chuck immediately skated over__,__ as did Nate. "Are you okay?" He asked in concern just as Nate came to a glide beside them and dropped to his knees. _

"_What happened?" The blonde asked taking Blair's hand. _

_When all of her attention went to Nate, Chuck pulled up from the ground and backed away. He wasn't the one she'd wanted there. _

The second her body hit the ice, Anna's eyes blinked open. In a millisecond a memory had flashed through her mind of doing this same jump and falling. Looking up she found Chuck on his knees next to her and reached for his hand. "That was weird."

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Chuck asked pulling her to him, fear making his heart beat quickly. Blair had been fine other than a third degree sprain. However, her mother had dragged her off the ice telling her she clearly wasn't responsible enough to be trusted with figure skating.

Anna shook her head holding onto Chuck as well. She swallowed tightly, those boys had looked familiar, both of them. She was about to tell Chuck about the memory flash when she felt his arms under her lifting her up. Laughing she put her arms around his neck. "I'm fine, you can set me down."

Chuck shook his head skating towards the exit. "We don't know that you're fine. You could have twisted your ankle."

"I'd know if I were hurt Chuck." Anna spoke even as she tucked her head against his neck. "Besides I'm more worried you'll slip and we will both go down."

Chuck rolled his eyes and kept skating, rounding on the exit. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have pushed you to do that jump when you weren't sure."

Anna scoffed, as Chuck set her down in the winter cabana-like structure and started taking off her skates. She thought about stopping him but if that's what he needed to feel secure that she was okay then she'd let him have it.

Inspecting her ankle, Chuck lifted it and ran his fingers over it gently before setting it down. Finally breathing a sigh of relief, it wasn't swollen, she really was okay. "You're sure nothing hurts?" Chuck asked, scooting next to her amongst the pillows.

"I'm sure." Anna spoke a small smile appearing on her face at just how careful he was being. "I've missed you."

Chuck met her gaze, startled by her frankness. After looking at her for a moment he relaxed. Rather than saying something he pulled her to him, laying her head against his chest.

"Things the past few weeks have been strained haven't they?" Anna spoke, her voice quiet.

Chuck nodded slowly, surprised that she was broaching the point. "I've hated it." He spoke, his voice raw with unspoken emotion.

Reaching up Anna placed the softest of kisses on his lips. "I'm sorry." She spoke before drawing back. There were so many different things running through her mind that she didn't even know where to start. Good news first, it was always best to start with the good stuff.

"So I was thinking that after Christmas, I could move in on a more permanent basis, if that's okay." Anna waited for a moment and when Chuck didn't say anything words began to spill from her mouth. "It's up to you of course. And I was thinking I'd keep the dorm room, but I could move most of my stuff or none of it if you don't want me too..."

Chuck interrupted her by slamming his lips into hers in the middle of her sentence. He'd been so surprised that he hadn't been able to find words for what she'd said. He deepened the kiss quickly, pulling her tightly against him.

Parting her lips, Anna sighed as she exhaled against him, this moment seemed to reaffirm everything she'd begun to feel over the past day.

Taking the opportunity she'd given he slipped his tongue inside her lips, feeling as though he were consuming her, or maybe she was the one who was consuming him. He couldn't be sure nor could he be bothered to care.

Breaking away breathless, Anna collapsed against him. "Now that's what I call a kiss."

Chuck laughed lowly as he leaned against her. "That was a lot more than a kiss."

Laughing Anna leaned her head against his shoulder, snuggling against him. This time it was Chuck who pulled back, reaching inside his coat he withdrew a box and placed it between them. "I've got you something, an early Christmas present."

"I thought we weren't doing presents!" Anna exclaimed sitting up straight. They'd discussed this weeks ago, it had been Chuck who had been adamant about it. "You said you didn't believe in Christmas presents!"

"I lied." Chuck said with a small smirk as he pulled her against him. "I didn't want you to stress over getting me something with finals and everything that was going on."

Exhaling she pressed her lips tightly together. "I have half a mind to refuse this altogether."

Still smirking Chuck opened the box. "Now what do you have to say?"

"Chuck..." She sighed as she reached for the necklace in the box. "It's..."

"Beautiful, like you." He replied taking the necklace from the box. "Turn around."

Anna did as he asked shivering slightly as the cold necklace touched her skin. Turning back to face him she grinned. "What do you think?"

Chuck smiled, looking at the pearl Bulgari choker for only a moment before his eyes settled on hers. "It's nothing compared to how beautiful you are."

Leaning forwards, she placed her lips against his in the softest of kisses. "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything."

"Don't be." Chuck responded as he stroked her hair. "If you want to give me something come with me to Aspen."

Exhaling, Anna realized that now was the hard part. She was going to have to tell Chuck that she'd already made the decision to go home.

Chuck shook his head against her as he continued holding her close. "Please. Don't say no."

Drawing her head back far enough to meet his gaze, Anna pressed her lips together. "Before the past couple of days I was thinking that we might need a break." She spoke her voice steady. Immediately Chuck tried to interrupt but she quickly placed a finger to his lips. "Let me finish."

Chuck nodded slowly. Of course Jenny had filled him in on Anna's doubts but it was still hard to hear from her. The fact that she was still refusing to come to Aspen scared him - he didn't want her to doubt them.

"I was confused and a little bit scared because I realized just how much I'm in love with you. The fact that I would do anything, be anything for you, is terrifying." Chuck smiled slightly against her fingers which were still pressed to his lips. "But while I don't want a break, I think maybe I do still need some time away from you."

Chuck's brow furrowed but he kept his mouth closed in an attempt not to interrupt her.

Anna gave him an impressed smirk that he'd managed not to say anything thus far so since he hadn't asked she went forward with her explanation. "It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that I'm a little afraid that I'm starting to lose who I am in you - literally you're becoming my whole world and I need to remember who I am when I'm not with you."

Anna could see that Chuck was ready to speak but she had one last thing to add. "And before you say anything you should know that there's nothing you can say to change my mind. I'm losing me, I hardly recognize myself anymore and I need Christmas at home to remember who I am. I have to find Anna again apart from Anna and Chuck. And I'm really sorry because I know that isn't the answer you wanted to hear."

Chuck exhaled loudly as he relaxed back against her. So she wouldn't come to Aspen...but she'd also made it clear that it was more because of how much she loved him than anything else. So she didn't really want a break instead what she wanted was even worse. He'd been right, the memories and the feelings had begun to freak her out. She was becoming Blair again and now she wanted to leave so she could undo everything they'd worked so hard to build. All he wanted to do was fight her on this but this time he knew that there was absolutely nothing he could say. "Okay." He said with a slight shake of his head.

"Really? That's it?" Anna asked laughter filling her voice. She was sure he'd put up more of a fight.

Chuck shrugged slightly, his mind racing through different options and finding nothing. So he said what she wanted to hear, he said what would let him keep her. "Do I want to be away from you for almost 3 weeks? Hell no. Do I understand why you need time? I get it enough that I won't push you. As long as you come back to me, I'm not scared to let you go."

Anna couldn't help the bright smile that slipped onto her face. "That's quite mature of you."

"I'm an evolved version of Chuck Bass." He spoke smirking even as he swallowed tightly - forcing back the truth which was lying on the lip of his tongue.

Running her fingers along his jaw she let the mood quiet to something more serious. Looking up into his golden brown eyes she smiled softly. "I'll always come back. Always."

Leaning forwards he placed the softest of kisses on her lips. Blair or Anna, he did love this girl. And even though they might be different, they'd both saved him in every way that mattered. "I love you." He whispered against her lips before drawing her back in once more. "Always."

* * *

Dan rolled his eyes as he stood against the wall of Jenny's bedroom as he watched her sort through her winter wardrobe with Eric's assistance. Serena was perched on the edge of the bed - paying more attention to her phone than the conversations going on around her. "I still can't believe Chuck wouldn't give me a ride to the airport."

"I think that's at least the fifth time you've said that." Eric shot over his shoulder as he pulled out a pair of skinny jeans from Jenny's closet and handed them to her with a nod.

Serena, still looking intently at her phone, spoke - her voice almost without inflection. "He's right you know - and I'm not even paying attention."

Dan exhaled, crossing his arms. "I know. And I'm sure you're tired of hearing it. I guess I just assumed we'd be riding together. He's taking Anna anyway."

Stopping and standing straight, a pair of boots hanging in her hands, Jenny shot her brother a glare. "Yeah because he wants to be alone with her. You know you're lucky he didn't punch you when you asked, right?"

Eric nodded. "It's true. He's pissed that you're getting to spend the Holidays with her when he isn't. I can't imagine Chuck exercising so much restraint that you don't have a black eye."

Tilting her head slightly though she was still looking down, the side of Serena's mouth turned upwards. "I bet he isn't using restraint right now."

Dan looked momentarily confused as Jenny laughed and Eric nodded. So finally Eric added. "She means, you wouldn't want to be in that limo anyway..."

Getting Eric's meaning Dan's eyes widened. They weren't... They wouldn't... Actually who was he kidding of course they would. Slinging his bag over his shoulder he smiled. "Well I was going to wait until Nate got here to say goodbye but if I don't go I'm going to miss my flight."

Serena finally looked over at Dan and frowned. "Where is Nate anyway?" Looking down at her watch she looked back up with furrowed brows. "He was supposed to be here like an hour ago."

Jenny rolled her eyes, her lips turning downwards. "Being that he picked Sam up from the atelier earlier I'm guessing they're still together."

"Really?" Dan asked, curiously overwhelming him. "Are they like close or something."

Eric groaned. "You must not have spent much time with Nate lately. She's pretty much all he talks about."

Dan laughed. "I thought he was kind of hung up on Anna there for a while. Guess I was off."

"You weren't." Jenny responded quickly noticing as she did that Serena had gone silent. She was sitting there frozen, obviously not enjoying the conversation. "Everything okay Serena?" Jenny finally asked.

Serena's head snapped towards her family and she gave a quick couple of nods. "Yeah, sorry I was just distracted." In truth what had distracted her was the jealousy she'd felt on hearing that Sam and Nate were spending so much time together but she wasn't about to admit that; though Eric's knowing look indicated he knew anyway. She might have said more when she heard Dan's exclamation.

"Good you made it!" He said giving Nate a one armed hug as he stood in the doorway. "Why do you have a suitcase?" Looking behind Nate he saw Sam and raised an eyebrow before smiling. "Hi Sam."

"Hi." She replied with a quick wave, standing behind Nate.

Looking back to Nate, Dan made both the question and the warning in his eyes clear. Nate knew Sam's standing with Jenny and while she and Serena had come to an understanding of sorts at Thanksgiving Dan had been getting weird vibes off Serena when it came to Nate and Sam's friendship so that wasn't exactly friendly territory either. "So what's up?"

Nate smiled reassuringly before looking at the somewhat hostile gazes on into the room. Looking back at Dan he felt less sure of himself than he had when he'd told Sam it was fine for her to come in. "Uhh...well I'm taking Sam to the airport and I thought you might like a ride. You're taking the 6 o'clock flight right?"

Instantly Dan relaxed and he smiled. "Yeah, a ride would be great actually." Yeah that was the difference between Nate and Chuck - it always had been.

Nate nodded and grinned before sticking his head through the doorway. "Hey guys I'm going to drop them off at LGA but I'll be back for dinner."

Serena shrugged, doing her best not to glare at Sam who was barely visible behind the boys. Glancing at Eric she noticed him exchange a glance with Sam...that was interesting.

Dan followed Nate into the hall before glancing at Sam. "That was ballsey bringing her into hostile territory."

Nate shrugged as he tightened his arm around Sam's waist. "Sam and I are friends. They're going to have to get used to it."

Sam smirked as they exited the apartment shooting a quick smile at Dan. "And whatever those girls throw at me, I can handle it."

Dan laughed. "You know I think I might actually believe you."

Jenny sighed as Dan left with Nate and Sam and turned to Eric and Serena. "Oh thank god." She said dropping her stuff. "I've been dying to talk to the two of you all afternoon."

Serena's head snapped up, that was unexpected. She and Jenny weren't close. "What's going on that you couldn't say in front of Dan?"

Eric's eyes narrowed slightly. "It has to do with Anna - I don't think you trust him where she's concerned - or Nate for that matter."

Jenny shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, I'm worried about things with Chuck and Anna. I tried to help Chuck out and I think it helped but he's been freaking her out lately. She feels like he's pushing her to be Blair."

Serena's eyes widened as she tried to articulate what she wanted to say without saying things she shouldn't. "It's definitely not good that she feels that way."

"I know." Jenny spoke quietly. "But I'm worried that Chuck's going to do something stupid to try to stop her from pulling away. He needs to give her space for the Holidays - she needs to like, find herself or whatever."

Eric swallowed as he looked at Jenny carefully. "He was going to do something stupid but I think I talked him out of it. I'm a little worried about today though."

"You think he'll say something when he drops her off at the airport?" Serena asked heart pounding. If Chuck thought he was losing Blair he might tell her the truth and God knows what would happen then.

Eric shook his head before frowning. "You don't realize what today is do you? It's the third anniversary of Bart's death." He finished when neither of the girls answered.

"Oh God." Jenny said sitting on the bed. "I'd completely forgotten. Is that why you wanted to do a group dinner tonight?" She asked.

Eric nodded and glanced at Serena who was strangely quiet. "Go ahead and say it."

Frowning Serena nodded. "You still think he might do something stupid because he misses her don't you?"

Again Eric nodded and swallowed as he forced out the words. "Yeah, I do."

* * *

"It feels weird toasting to this." Anna spoke even as she slid her dress back over her head before taking the champagne from Chuck's hand.

Chuck grinned as he sipped his own glass. "It's our own little bon voyage party." His voice still sounded raw and spent. They'd spent the past thirty minutes having a marathon love making session and it showed. He knew that though he was numb right now - in the next few hours he was going to be quite sore.

Anna smiled, her checks flushing at the knowing look he gave her. Her entire body felt as though he'd branded her with his mouth, with his touch, with his...No she couldn't think about that, she could already feel her breath quickening again and they did not have time to have another round before getting to the airport.

She was reaching for her tights when Chuck surprised her. He slipped down onto the floor of the limo and smirked up at her. "Allow me." He spoke almost seductively as he handed her his glass and picked up the stockings.

Anna's breath caught in her throat as he slowly began to roll her tights up her legs. Her entire body started to come awaken as his hands worked their way up her leg, pausing every so often to kiss the spot above where the stockings were. As he finished the second side, a soft gasp left her lips. His mouth had worked itself higher up her inner thigh. "Chuck..." Her voice was practically a moan. "We can't...we don't have time."

"Shhh" He whispered, his lips brushing the tops of her thighs as rose higher on his knees. "We have time for this." He spoke meeting her gaze with a smirk before tugging her panties back down her legs.

Anna was lost the moment she felt his breath on her center. "Ahh" She gasped when his tongue flicked out to run along the side of her folds.

Chuck smirked against her. "You're so sweet baby, sweetest thing in the world. I love the taste of you." He spoke, his breath causing her to tremble.

"Chuck..." She gasped her voice without support as she clutched her fingers tightly in his hair. His mouth was doing things to her she'd never felt before and as his tongue swept across her inner folds she felt herself begin to lose control completely.

Smiling Chuck brought his eyes to meet hers, his mouth only inches from her. "It's okay baby, I want you to lose control, I want to feel you come for me."

Anna's whole body was shaking as he brought his mouth back to her and with one quick movement of his tongue made her come undone completely. Screaming his name she felt herself fall apart against the limo seat.

Chuck licked her folds one more time before tugging her underwear back up and rising. Her eyes were clouded with sated lust as he pulled her to him and kissed her almost roughly.

Anna gasped into him, she could taste herself on his lips, on his tongue. It felt erotic in a way she wasn't really used to but more than that it felt right. As they broke away both of them a little out of breath, she laid her head against his chest. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Then don't go." Chuck said with no attempt to hide the hint of pleading in his voice. He wasn't ashamed to beg, not to her. "I want you here with me. I need you here with me."

Exhaling Anna angled her body and wrapped herself tightly around him. "Right now I don't want to. This is the only place I want to be."

Chuck felt his stiff body shrug as he pulled her to him more tightly than before. He was panicking, he could feel it. He couldn't lose her, he didn't know what would happen if he did, how he'd survive and right now it felt like he was losing her completely. "Please don't go."

Clenching her eyes shut, Anna fought back the sting of tears. She wasn't sure why she was getting so emotional but it was almost as though she could sense a deeper pain within Chuck, one that she felt significantly connected to even though she didn't know what it was. Part of her felt as though her leaving was breaking him and she hated that. But she knew she had to go, for herself, she needed that time apart. "Chuck...I have to do this, for me. It doesn't change the fact that I love you, it doesn't change the fact that I'm yours."

Chuck swallowed tightly as he forced back tears. He knew they were to the airport but the last thing he wanted to do was let her leave him. "Say it again." He spoke, his voice pleading.

Anna set up, straddling his lap as she took his face in her hands. Looking directly into his eyes she spoke, her tone completely sincere. "Chuck I'm yours, I think I've been yours since the day I knocked on the door of your suite."

Leaning forwards he kissed her, not caring that he was crying, not caring about anything. When she broke away he knew it was to leave and his heart felt like it was splitting in two. "I love you." He said softly, knowing that she probably had no idea why he was getting so emotional about this - though her subconscious must because she didn't seem alarmed by it.

"I'll see you in three weeks." Anna spoke, keeping her voice steady. "And I promise I'll call as soon as my plane lands."

Chuck nodded though he couldn't bring himself to get out of the car and knew he was blocking her way.

"Chuck...I have to go or I'll miss my flight." Anna spoke gently, her thumb running soft circles on his face.

Nodding again Chuck slid to the door and opened it. Stepping out before turning around and extending his hand. As soon as she stood he pulled her to him and kissed her deeply, his tongue slipping through her parted lips as he pressed against her. "If you change your mind just call me - I'll send the jet."

Anna nodded even though they both knew she wasn't changing her mind. She was holding strong on this. She had to have this time apart - she needed to remind herself of who she was outside of this relationship and most of all she needed to refocus herself on what she'd come to New York to do. She'd lost her way lately, she'd been so caught up with Chuck that she'd pushed everything else aside.

Leaning in she gave Chuck one more quick kiss before taking her bags from Arthur and walking away. As she went she didn't look back, because she knew the pain in his eyes would be the one thing that might make her reconsider her decision.

Chuck swallowed tightly as he watched her walk into the airport, hips swinging back and forth. He'd done everything he could to stop her from going and it hadn't been enough. Now he had to wait, and pray to whatever God existed that she come back to him.

* * *

_Smiling she backed away from the wedding party even as she gave her congratulations. She knew that they would understand - the festivities were mostly over anyway. Hurrying up the stairs she quickly pushed open the doorway to her room. She could see him, facing away from her sitting on her bed. How dare he, after what he'd said to her. "What do you think you're doing here?" She spoke, forcing a strength she didn't know she had into her voice._

_When he turned she froze, her heart stopped and her gut clenched. He was crying, he looked...he looked like he was barely holding it together, the pain in his eyes...it was heartbreaking. Swallowing tightly she could see the silent plea he didn't have to say a word. When her body came to life again she moved quickly, kneeling on the bed next to him and pulling his broken form against her. His anguish was enough to swallow her whole but she couldn't let it, she couldn't so that he could. _

_She knew there was nothing that she could say, nothing she could do but to hold him. He'd lost his father, the one person that he had in this world, his only family - there were no words to say. But she could be here for him, she could hold him, she could be his family. _

_After a few moments in her arms she felt his hands reach up to hold her too and she cradled him against her chest. Slowly, she leaned back pulling him onto her bed and holding tightly to him. His tears didn't stop, they didn't even slow. Sometimes they turned to sobs, others they were quiet, almost silent but the__y__ never ceased. She cried too but she made certain she was quiet - she wouldn't let him know that she was breaking. _

_As she held him as the hours past, she stroked his hair and rubbed his back, every once in a while stopping to whisper that she loved him, that she wasn't going anywhere, that she was his family. He said nothing, but she didn't need him to because the fact that he didn't run, that he stayed with her meant that he heard her and that he didn't oppose. _

_At some point she felt him turn in her arms to face her, his gaze meeting her's directly. The tears were gone __however __the pain she saw there nearly broke her all over again, but she refused to let it. There was something else in his gaze, something almost primal. If that's what he wanted, what he needed, she would give him that too - she would let him lose himself in her. Giving the slightest of nods she leaned forwards and placed her lips on his. He returned her kiss roughly, almost as though it was giving him air and he'd been suffocating. But after a few moments he broke away. "No." He said forcing himself backwards. _

"_It's okay." She whispered, giving him another nod. _

_But he shook his head again. "No." He replied before settling down close to her, most of their bodies touching. His hands held hers and his face was mere inches away but he didn't kiss her again, he simply stared into her eyes. _

_She stared back, never breaking his gaze. Whatever he needed, she'd give him. She'd give him anything. She was his. It was after his breathing had slowed and his eyes had folded that she allowed her own lids to drop, but his agonized stare was still burned into the backs of her eyelids, lingering in her brain even as she fell asleep. _

Anna gasped as she snapped awake on the plane. Jerking so quickly that she knocked her head on the window.

"Are you okay?" The passenger next to her in first class asked.

She nodded quickly and turned her head to look out the window glad that Sam and Dan were both a few rows away. That dream had felt so real, it had everything that a memory would, smells, sounds, feelings. But that hadn't happened, she'd never comforted Chuck like that.

Maybe she was just out of whack because of their emotional departure. She knew it shouldn't have been so hard to walk away from him. It wasn't normal the way they felt about each other - she knew that; but even still she hadn't really known why today had been so painful. Maybe that was the reason for the weird dream. Her dream self was trying to comfort Chuck since she'd caused him so much pain.

But still she couldn't shake it, especially that haunted look that she'd seen in his eyes - it was the same expression Chuck had been wearing only a few hours ago when he'd dropped her off. Those eyes that were filled with a deep agonizing pain that she couldn't seem to land on. It was like there were wisps of something real something substantial flickering through her head but she couldn't quite grasp one, not long enough to really comprehend it anyway.

Closing her eyes she tried to focus on something else, the song in her ipad or the sound of the person one row in front of her snoring but she just couldn't shake the image of his eyes.

* * *

Chuck exhaled as his fingers fidgeted on the small box in his hands. He could still feel the slow tears on his cheeks but he ignored them; paying attention to them wasn't going to make them stop. His heart was aching as he tried not to think about everything; his father, Blair, what he'd just done.

Today of all days he'd needed Blair the most and being with Anna had helped, but it wasn't the same, not today. He'd been desperate to keep her from leaving, more desperate to remind her of who she was before she ran off to remind herself of who she wasn't.

Swallowing tightly he opened the lid of the box and stared down at the powder inside. Oblivion, ground to a find dust, just a pinch of which he'd placed in her champagne. He didn't even know what an amount that small would do. It certainly wouldn't hurt her, but what did that say about him that he'd even begin to risk it? Who had he become?

But even as he thought it over, even though he knew it wasn't right; he couldn't bring himself to regret it, not if it helped her remember even in the slightest. And no, he'd have no way of knowing for sure if it had worked or not, but his gut told him it would. His gut told him that Oblivion was the key to getting Blair back and if that was the case, there was no way in hell he was backing down.

**The Holidays are always a fabulous time of year - school's out, presents abound, and we all flee town for the slopes of Aspen or the beaches of Antigua to avoid the tourists that seemed to descend on the city like locusts. While most everyone is in good spirits, based on the tearful airport goodbye I can't say that C or A seem too happy to be separating for the Holidays. From what I hear A's trying to avoid us. Haven't you learned anything yet darling? I have spies everywhere. Let that be a lesson to all of you – you may leave the confines of the city but you can't ever quite escape my realm of influence. I'll be seeing you.**

**xoxo  
Gossip Girl**

* * *

I actually took the "speech" of Blair's from my English paper from sophomore year. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter as Chuck slips a bit further down the rabbit hole (quite a bit of foreshadowing wasn't there…)

Anyways – I love your Reviews so feel free to respond with anything and I'll try to get back to you asap

xoxo - kate


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